How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

June 11, 2024June 3, 2024Leave a comment

‘Want to do how to defend yourself from bullies so that you can be safe?

Bullying is perverse and can be negatively life-altering. If you’re anything like I was, you’re probably having difficulty deciding how to properly stand up for yourself. As someone who’s been there, I’m giving you the steps to defend yourself against bullies.

You’re going to learn the exact method of defending yourself against bullies and bullying.

After you learn all these powerful strategies, you will be extra prepared for the next bullying incident and be able to better handle yourself in bullying situations.

This post is all about how to defend yourself from bullies so that you can ensure your own safety and take back control of your life.

How to Defend Yourself from Bullies

1. think like a bully (just don’t act like one)

This is your first step.

Most people who become targets of bullying are genuinely good hearted and would never dream of hurting another human being. On the other hand, bullies are consistently thinking up newer and more sophisticated ways to inflict harm on others.

Their hunger for power is such that they have left a long line of victims in their wake and are always on the lookout for new targets.

The reason most good people become targets of bullying is that bullies are notorious for taking kindness for weakness. Therefore, to protect yourself from becoming the next target requires that you adopt the bully mindset.

You must think as bullies do but not act as they do.

I realize this can be difficult because the mind of a bully isn’t a pleasant place to be. It can be downright ugly!

Moreover, to think as a bully takes a certain degree of identifying with them. However, you must think as they do in order to better predict what bullies will do next.

If you can figure out what their next move will be, you can stay a few steps ahead of these creeps and protect yourself.

Therefore, this won’t be easy. The mind of a bully can be a real cesspool. However, sometimes you must wade through a ton of crap for safety’s sake.

2. Respond in kind

There’s nothing wrong with responding in kind when people are mistreating you. This doesn’t mean tit for tat. However, it does mean getting ugly when you must.

When you respond in kind, you act with power by meeting your bullies where they are. In other words, you speak to the bullies in the only language they understand.

You must realize that when a bully is in your face, you can’t afford to be nice about it. In fact, there is no being polite.

You can never handle a bully “nicely” because they will only see that as weakness and use it to their advantage. Moreover, there is no being quiet about it because bullies will take your silence as being afraid.

Again, you must speak to the bully in the only language they understand. And what they don’t understand is nice and polite.

For example, the bully is in your personal space and they’re cursing you out. That’s when you put your hand out like a traffic cop. Then, you tell them in no uncertain terms to get the hell out of your face.

This shows that you command the dignity and respect that’s due to the next person. Also, it shows that you have the guts to stand your ground when some creep violates your boundaries.

As a society, we’ve been conditioned by politicians, the media, corporations, educators, and even certain members of our families that responding in kind only makes us as bad as the bullies.

bullies only understand strength and power

There’s no law that says that you must accept abuse from anyone. Yet, we’re very subtly being told that we should take it, and with a smile, and a yes sir/ma’am, then ask for seconds. In today’s world, society tries to dictate that we should agree to abuse.

And we’re still being conditioned to do so. We’re being told to “ignore” people’s atrocious behavior, and in some cases, even submit to it.

However, I want you to understand that the only thing bullies understand is strength and power and anyone they deem as weak is fair game.

Therefore, if you don’t respond in kind to bad behavior, bullies will get the message that there are no consequences for their abuse. Moreover, they will get the impression that they can walk on you anytime they feel like it.

Then, there will be no stopping them from escalating the bullying and no limit to what they’ll try next.

You must set boundaries, and how you set boundaries is by imposing consequences on anyone who violates those boundaries. But how do you impose consequences?

By responding in kind to bullies when they cross the line.

Therefore, never be afraid to respond in kind and never feel guilty for it. It’s normal, expected, and it’s how you defend yourself and treat yourself well.

Remember that the only rights you have are those you fight for.

3. How to defend yourself from bullies: don’t worry about what other people think

People will tell you, “You shouldn’t have said that to so-and-so because you only stoop to their (the bullies’) level.”

However, it’s funny how they never said a word to the bully, who had you backed in a corner and was unloading on you. Now, all of a sudden, you are the mean one for telling the bullies exactly what they are.

Therefore, realize that when you’re forced to get just as nasty, there will be people who try to tell you the same thing.

Instead of worrying about their reaction, always come back with, “Funny, you never said a word when they were doing the same to me, so you have nothing to say about my behavior. Now, get lost!” And say it with conviction and without guilt.

“It’s not ladylike,” they say? Well, it’s not ladylike for the bully either. It goes both ways.

Tell them how you feel and what you think of them because you can’t be nice when you’re dealing with people who wish to harm you. You have to get funky with it! You must put your bitch-face on when things get hot. When some schmuck is in your face, nice and polite goes out the window.

And once they find out that you aren’t as weak as they thought, they just might back off and think twice before confronting you again.

however, before you can do this, you must first not worry what others think.

When you stop concerning yourself with what others think or say, standing up for yourself comes so much easier. Remember, these people aren’t dealing with bullying. You are. Therefore, they have no place putting their noses in your business.

What they think and how they feel about it doesn’t matter. So, stop worrying about the feelings of those who aren’t worth your time.

4. respond to physical bullying by hitting back.

Yeah, you read that right. If a bully hits you first, you are well within your rights to hit them back… twice as hard as they hit you. How to defend yourself from bullies involves responding to physical attacks.

Understand this right now. When a bully physically attacks you, you have a God-given, primal, animal right to defend yourself from being harmed. I state this with full conviction!

Therefore, if a bully hits you first, haul off and knock his block off! And when you do, don’t just give him a love pat. Deck the creep with the strength of your entire body- hit so hard that the bully has difficulty getting back up.

Then unleash a hail of hard licks so that he doesn’t get up. Because once the bully gets up, he will charge you!

Yeah. I know it isn’t the “politically correct” thing to do. But when someone is harming you, all that jazz about political correctness and being the bigger person goes out the window, and the gloves are off.

School stuff may suspend you from school, and managers may fire you from work. You may even go to jail for a night or two. However, people are much more vicious with physical attacks nowadays.

Furthermore, if you just let someone smack you around, they’ll only intensify the beatings until they hurt you bad enough to send you to the hospital or worse! And you’d much rather them suspend you, fire you, or take you to jail than to spend a month in the hospital or end up six feet under.

Let’s face it. Sometimes, bullies can have you cornered and fisticuffs is the only option you have.

5. How to defend yourself from bullies: take self-defense Classes

Although not always affordable, martial arts classes are a godsend for victims of bullying. Not only do you learn how to defend yourself, you also learn respect and discipline.

Moreover, these classes will give you the confidence you never knew you could have and you will become more physically fit.

this post was all about how to defend yourself from bullies to help you ensure your safety and take back control of your life

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

2. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

3. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

4. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

5. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of

self-defense, hanging pair of boxing gloves

Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

April 16, 2024October 14, 202411 Comments

Want to know the best methods of defending yourself from bullies that every victim of bullying should know? These are the successful defense tactics you need to know about.

Defending yourself from bullies can be terrifying and if you’re anything like me, you’re researching ways to protect yourself properly. Having once been right where you are now, I’m giving you the most successful self-protection techniques you need to know and that I and many other overcomers of bullying swear by.

You will learn all about defending yourself from bullies, using best remedies that I and several other targets have taken to free ourselves from bullying once and for all.

After learning about all these strategies, you are going to be able to successfully counter your bullies’ attacks and take back control over your life.

This post is all about defending yourself from bullies, providing you the steps that every young victim of bullying must know.

Defending yourself from bullies and how you do it.

1. Know Your enemy.

This requires that you stand back and OBSERVE the people around you but without looking like you are watching them. Pay close attention to body language, facial expressions and tone of voice. I can’t stress enough the importance of this.

This is how you find out who the trouble makers are. If you see another person gossip and make trouble for others, you can be sure they will do the same to you. This is how you avoid bullies and save yourself a ton of drama.

2. Document everything!

Defending yourself from bullies also demands that you keep a journal and write down every bullying incident. Documenting each and every occurrence serves two purposes:

a. It establishes a written record, which is evidence that is admissible in court in case you decide to sue for damages.

b. Also, it allows you to keep everything organized and explain your side of the story in a clear and intelligible manner. In other words, it keeps you from rambling when reporting the bullying to a school official or company manager.

Always record the incidents using the 5-W method (What, Who, When, Where, Why, and sometimes How). In other words, you must write down the names of not only your bullies, but anyone present when the altercation took place.

Write down what happened and, include the names of authority members (teachers, principal, or any member of authority) present at the time of the incident.

You should also record the date and exact time. Very important!

Don’t forget to jot down where it happened. what happened and if possible, why it happened. Also, record what is said and by whom. Document every… single… detail!!

There will be more on the 5-W method of documentation in a future post.

3. Defending yourself from bullies means that you Don’t reveal any information about yourself that you would not want to be told.

Never share anything private about yourself to anyone, including your friends. In other words, your business is your business and no one else’s.

Besides, you never know if your friend has another friend who is either your enemy or is somehow closely connected to one of your bullies. Also, if you are the target of bullies, you can be sure that your bullies will, at some point, either try to pry information about you out of your friends or they will turn your friends against you altogether.

Therefore, keep your private business to yourself.

4. Keep a low profile.

Don’t do anything that may undue attention to yourself. Also, stay away from places the bullies may gather.

Think, “Out of sight, out of mind.” Just don’t make it obvious to your bullies that you are ducking and dodging them. I avoided several confrontations by simply laying low.

Lastly, know that avoiding toxic bullies is not cowardice, it’s smarts.

5. Save any threatening texts, emails, and/or voice mails for evidence.

if possible, set your cellphone to record during any altercation brought on by a bully, provided it is hidden in your pocket. You certainly do not want the bully to know what you are doing.

Furthermore, keep your composure and be sure not to tarnish the recording by yelling or using foul language. The last thing you want is to give your bullies ammunition to do the old DARVO switcheroo and make you out to be the bully.

If you happen not to have a cellphone, keep a digital recorder handy (if possible) and be ready to record as soon as the torment starts.

However, before you record the bullying, make absolute sure you know the laws in your state concerning recordings. In some states, recording of others are against the law and your bullies would love nothing more than to have an excuse to sue you.

Again, make sure you get abreast to the laws in your state!

6. Defending yourself from bullies also means to never brag about any evidence you have against your bullies.

It just isn’t smart. Again, bullies have a knack for prying information out of people, even your friends.

Moreover, they can also turn your friends against you, making them more than happy to volunteer the information. Don’t do it!

Anytime you are a target of bullies, you are in no position to trust anyone!

7. Call the bully out in front of an audience, especially those in authority.

This is risky and could bring retaliation later. However, the bullies will also know that you are on to them and you just might intimidate them enough that they will leave you alone.

This happened for me on a few occasions. However, keep in mind that this doesn’t happen for everyone.

Calling the bullies out in front of people can also have the opposite effect. Bullies absolutely despise humiliation, especially by anyone they deem inferior and they will only be that much more determined to get you.

So, pick and choose your battles wisely. Access the bully’s personality and the situation carefully before you decide to do this.

8. Have a strong set of beliefs and principles.

Defending yourself from bullies doesn’t only take physical strength, it takes a lot of mental toughness as well. When you have a strong set of beliefs and principles, you’re least likely to fall for lies and name-calling your bullies try to bombard you with.

Therefore, you’re least likely to allow them to influence how you see yourself or to cause you to make decisions and choices based on their approval. Instead, you will do what you know is best for you and what makes you feel happier and most alive.

9. be okay with who you are.

This is, perhaps, the most fundamental rule of all because, when you aren’t comfortable with yourself, you will be least likely to defend yourself. Realize that you are perfect just the way The Creator made you.

However, don’t confuse low self-esteem with the desire to improve yourself. Know that it’s okay if you strive for self-betterment.

We all have goals and aspirations. That goes for you, me, and everyone. The problem comes when you allow others’ opinions of you to change the way you view yourself.

Never put yourself down because bullies and everyone else is putting you down. In other words, no matter what they say or how they act toward you, do not, under any circumstances, lose sight of your worth.

Continue to value yourself and refrain from thinking that you should be like someone else. You are you. Be okay with it.

The trick is to practice self-acceptance and self-love while you improve.

10. walk away from All toxic people

Toxic people, AKA bullies, abusers, users, and losers, serve no purpose but to bring you down and keep you there. These people can also be fakes who pose as your friends.

Therefore, know that anyone who even subtly insults, guilt trips, or gaslights you does not deserve one micro-second of your time. You’d much rather be alone than with fake friends who throw zingers and backhanded compliments your way.

You’ll be much happier and at ease without them in your life. You’d much rather be alone than with people who make you feel like you don’t belong. So, be patient and better friends will come along. I promise you!

11. If a bully physically attacks you, hit them back.

This seems to be the question on everyone’s mind these days, especially in the notoriously politically correct climate in which we live. “Should I hit back if one of my bullies hits me?”

My answer is, “‘Damn right you should!

Although the media, politicians, and even big-name celebrities and influencers vehemently discourage fighting violence with violence, should you actually listen to them?

You hear school officials, managers, police personal, and others in positions of authority make statements, such as:

“Two wrongs don’t make a right.”
“Turn the other cheek.”
“Don’t stoop to the bully’s level.”

And the all-time favorite,
“Be the bigger person and walk away.”

**But what if one of your bullies won’t let you be the bigger person and walk away? Then, what?**

Understand that bullies don’t understand politeness, civility, nor diplomacy. The only language they know is raw power and brute strength. Therefore, when a bully physically attacks you, you have a God-given, primal right to defend yourself from being harmed. I state this with full conviction!

The only thing you should think of at this point is how to disable your attacker. Additionally, you want to give them such a bad memory that they’ll never even think about laying so much as a finger on you again.

You aren’t a troublemaker or a brute for this. It’s self-defense and you’re well within your rights to defend yourself when someone attacks you.

Therefore, if a bully hits you first, haul off and knock their block off! And when you do, don’t just give him a love pat. Deck the creep with the strength of your entire body.

Your counter punch should be so hard that you knock the bully down and they have difficulty getting back up. Then unleash a hail of hard licks so that he doesn’t get up. Because once they get up, the person will charge you!

Again, self-defense is not a crime, it’s a right when a bully attacks you.

This post was all about defending yourself against bullies to help you ensure your safety and peace of mind.

What It Means to Counter Your Bullies’ Attacks

December 19, 2021Leave a comment

It means maintaining a healthy and positive sense of self.

It means refusing to take in and accept your bullies’ assaults on your pride and dignity, no matter how powerful or influential they may seem. After all, they’re only people just like you.

Countering the attacks from a bully means being able to withstand the barrage of attacks or your humanity, personhood, and character.

It means not letting your bullies persuade you into thinking that they know you better than you know yourself.

It means being super-self-aware… so much so that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt who you are and that you’re a great person who doesn’t deserve shabby treatment.

It means having a clear vision of your value as a human being.

It means keeping company only with strong people who are positive influences in your life- people who consistently validate and affirm your positive qualities and the good you bring to the lives of others and this world.

Then, when a bully tells you that you’re ugly, stupid, evil, or crazy, you can stand with confidence and say, “No, I’m not. You are,” and walk away with more pride in yourself because you stood up to them.

Many targets fall for the garbage bullies feed them because there’s more to countering the attacks than words or fists. It also takes mind and spirit power.

Most targets, sad to say, are either insecure in themselves, to begin with or became so over time because bullies succeeded in making them that way. They may do like I did in the earliest stages of bullying- “ignore the attacks without responding or fighting back. And we know how that usually ends.

Maintaining mind power and a healthy sense of self is the very foundation of self-defense and protection. Always remember that.

Your mind and your thoughts are free! Keep them that way!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Why Self-Love Doesn’t Mean Self-Centered

October 4, 202117 Comments

Some people get the two confused. Loving yourself doesn’t mean you’re self-centered. But you can bet that bullies will accuse their target of it when they realize she’s growing a backbone.

Understand that when you start loving yourself enough not to take your bullies’ opinions of you seriously, the bullies will take notice of it right away. They’ll realize that they no longer have power over you. To get that power back, they will try like the devil to guilt you by accusing you of either selfishness or self-centeredness.

Don’t fall for that con game! When bullies lose the benefits they’ve grown accustomed to getting at your expense, they always get irate. Right or wrong, whenever someone has had power over another person for a long time and has gotten used to having that power, then suddenly loses it, of course, they’re going to be upset- and intensely so.

But don’t concern yourself with how your bullies feel. After all, they never gave a thought to your feelings the entire time they jerked you around.

Ditch these people! The sooner, the better! You’re not being selfish by choosing to put yourself first. What you’re doing is having the courage to love yourself and treat yourself better.

Realize that the bullies are the self-centered ones, in expecting you to go on being their doormat. No one has the right to expect you to put up with something they wouldn’t tolerate if it were happening to them.

To expect any differently from another person than what they’d do shows a complete lack of respect for people other than themselves and is sheer arrogance, self-entitlement, and stupidity.

There’s a name for this- double-standard!

Remember that we teach others how to treat us. And how we teach them to treat us is by how well we treat ourselves- by the boundaries we set, our ability to say “no,” and whether we continue to allow them to be in our lives.

So, treat yourself well! You’re worth it!

The More Bullies Tighten Their Fists, The More Like Water You Become

September 29, 202116 Comments

Like I did, you will only run through their fingers and out of their hands. My classmates couldn’t hold me. I flowed over and around them. Understand that sometimes, in their efforts to tighten their grip, bullies only create defiant and sneaky targets who find their way around them.

Because some targets refuse to be controlled. I was one of them.

When your bullies try to silence you and prevent you from speaking against the abuse, you can find another way to communicate. I chose to write about it instead, being sure to keep a backup journal at home in case my primary journal came up missing. You can also do this, or you can speak out through music and song, artwork, such as drawings and paintings. There are so many vehicles through which you can speak out.

I took advantage of the fact that my bullies were flawed humans just like I was- and that they couldn’t read my mind nor control my thoughts.

When your bullies trash your reputation at school, make friends outside that toxic environment– out of kids who don’t attend your school. It’s what I did. I also dated guys who were of college-age and were past high school.

If you’re old enough to have a driver’s license or work after school, opportunities for an after school job in your community may be nil, but your attempts to get one in the next town will more than likely be successful and you can make many friends there.

And here’s the miracle that happened twenty years lately when I endured horrible rashes of cyberbullying (keep in mind that some of the attackers online were former schoolmates), I handled it with smarts and class, which only brought me many allies who defended me– people from all over the country! And I’m still friends with those people today.

Yes, sometimes, things may look hopeless, but they can turn out for the best.

I want you to realize that if you think hard, there’s always a way around the stigma if you’re bullied. So, do what you must do for self-preservation. Dig those heels in, double down, and become like water that only runs through your bullies’ hands.

Don’t give up! There’s always hope!

Cherie White

Author and Anti-Bullying Advocate

Category: self-preservation