‘Want to know how to stop over-explaining? Here are all the mind hacks you need to know about.
Too many victims of bullying feel that they must explain themselves to everyone. However, some things just don’t need explaining.
Therefore, you shouldn’t explain yourself to people who mean very little to you. That includes bullies and haters.
In this post, you will learn how to stop over-explaining yourself so that you can enjoy more freedom and autonomy.
Once you learn all about these important tidbits, you will no longer feel the need to explain yourself to anyone you don’t owe anything to. As a result, you’ll feel much better about yourself and freer to do your own thing.
This post is all about how to stop over-explaining so that you can free yourself from other people’s ignorance and judgments.
How to Stop Over-Explaining
It’s amazing how we waste so much of our time and energy caring about what others think of us. Moreover, these are usually people whose opinions of us have absolutely no bearing on our lives!
I want you to understand that there will always be people who judge you negatively without knowing you. It’s a part of life.
Moreover, those who say the most are usually the ones who know the least about you. So, why do you place so much value on their opinions? Why do you need to explain yourself to them?
Don’t explain yourself to the wrong people
I can understand if the person means a lot to you. Longing to be accepted is human nature and we’re all hardwired to desire human connection.
Also, it’s good to value opinions of our families, friends, and those who love us and want best for us. Why? Because their opinions of us are credible and we value them.
However, a bully or hater’s opinion isn’t credible. It has no value and shouldn’t matter at all. These people add nothing to your life, they only take from it!
So, again, are people who are of no benefit to you even worth the energy expenditure? Should what they think of you even matter?
And do their meaningless opinions have any bearing on your life? Are they a superior at work or school and do they have the power to determine what happens to us?
If not, then chalk their opinions up as just a bunch of noise that you need to mute. Why? Because they aren’t worthy of any explanations or apologies.
And, if you continue over-explaining yourself to the wrong people, you only make yourself a bigger target to them.
1. How to stop over-explaining:
See your bullies’ opinions as a bunch of drivel.
One of sad things about suffering bullying is that others will always stick their noses in your business. Moreover, if you so much as scratch your nose, they will happily insert their cheap two cents on it.
Therefore, chances are that you’re doing all the research on how to refuse to answer to your bullies.
If nothing else, know this! You do NOT have to explain yourself to anyone. Sure, people have told you this time and time again. But how do you gather the courage to refuse?
2. See your bullies’ unsolicited opinions as tiny power-grabs.
Your bullies are only trying to strip you of your personal power.
Therefore, realize that you don’t have to answer to these ignoramuses. Tell them to take a long walk off a short pier. And take back your peace of mind.
Again, you don’t have to explain yourself to these pieces of garbage.
Why? Because bullies don’t care what your reasons are. They just want to run their mouths to undermine your autonomy. So, you don’t owe those creeps a damn thing!
3. Your bullies are trying to Bait you into a reaction.
Understand that bullies are playing games with you. Moreover, there’s a psychological payoff to these little mind-games.
Baiting you to react gives your bullies satisfaction, gratification, and a massive rush of power.
To put it simpler, while you’re wasting your breath, trying to explain yourself to your bullies, they’re smiling inside over how easy it was to get you riled up.
They’re getting their kicks off their ability to make you nervous and afraid. Therefore, realize that some things don’t need an explanation and some people don’t deserve one.
4. How to Stop Over-Explaining:
Understand that Explanations are a waste of time and energy
Why? For these reasons.
- No matter what you say or how you say it, bullies will never believe you.
- Most people only believe whatever feels convenient.
- They aren’t interested in evidence or facts. Facts may only deter them for the time being. However, your bullies will only get angrier at you for having the gall to prove them wrong.
- They’ll regroup, reorganize, then come back at you with a whole new accusation and demand another explanation later.
Therefore, it’s better just to tell them, up front, that you don’t owe them any explanations. Then, end the confrontation by telling them all to step off before turning your back and walking away.
5. See Your Bullies’ Opinions as a mind-Game.
Realize that your bullies get their thrills from knowing they have you jumping through hoops to prove yourself. Therefore, stop trying so hard to explain yourself to those who aren’t worth pissing on.
Therefore, who are they that you should have to explain anything? Why should you care what they think?
Are they even worth your consideration? They don’t pay your bills. And they don’t sign your paychecks. They damn sure aren’t important to you.
Are they even up to your level? Do they bring anything worthwhile to your life?
Ask yourself these questions and you’ll know the answers. Moreover, you’ll realize that you don’t owe these morons jack shit!
I understand that bullies can be intimidating and threatening. It’s hard to resist an explanation when you’re scared to death.
It’s difficult not to began rattling off when you just want them to go away and leave you in peace. But trust me, they won’t! Remember, bullies and abusers always come back for more!
This bears repeating. It won’t make things better. If anything, the harassment will only get worse because your reaction will only make you an even bigger and easier target.
6. How to Stop Over-Explaining:
See their opinions as a trap!
When your bullies attempt to interact with you, they’ll try to suck you into the explaining trap. And, no matter how you much you explain things, they’ll only pretend not to understand.
In fact, they’ll never accept anything you have to say.
Again, most things don’t need an explanation. However, it doesn’t mean bullies won’t try. They’ll do their damnedest to get you to give needless explanations.
And, if you don’t understand how to avoid this trap, they’re have you running on an endless hamster wheel of trying to clear up things that aren’t a big deal.
You’ll only wear yourself out, trying to explain yourself to idiots who aren’t worthy of your time or consideration.
Therefore, realize that this is just another bullying tactic.
7. Realize that your bullies are trying To throw you off-balance
Realize that your bullies only make you explain yourself to keep you on the back foot. They’ll keep challenging and criticizing your explanations just to get you to give more of them. Understand that they do this on purpose.
You must see this tactic for what it is and what it’s meant to do. It’s all designed to keep you drowning in an endless sea of explanations and justifications.
Therefore, the important thing to bear in mind is that they really don’t need an explanation from you. In fact, they don’t even want one.
What your bullies really want is to throw you off-balance. In other words, they want to bamboozle you and keep you engaging with them.
8. How to Stop Over-Explaining:
Understand that They can use your explaining To gather ammunition they can fire back at you later
‘You see? The longer your bullies can keep you interacting with them, the more they can reshape the things you say. They can then use them as proverbial bullets to fire at you later.
And they may use it tomorrow, or even years later.
You must realize that your bullies will retain very clear memories of what you say. And they’ll store it all up in the back of their minds, just in case it becomes useful ammo in their arsenal.
For example, you set a boundary by refusing to speak to your bullies and they ask you, “Why won’t you talk to us?”
You respond by pointing out all the abuse they’ve dealt you. Then, your bullies come back with, “And when did we do that?” Therefore, they entice you to explain when that was.
9. Know that They Only get you to explain yourself just To trip you up.
When bullies dupe you into explaining yourself, you’re likely to be emotional. Moreover, any time you become emotional, your logical brain shuts down and you aren’t able to think straight.
Therefore, you probably won’t be able to keep your story straight. And this will be no matter how truthful it is. But, understand that this is what your bullies are hoping for.
How to Stop Over-Explaining:
So, what are the best ways to respond?
And how do you respond with strength? There are several ways.
For instance, if your bullies ask you, “What did we ever do to you?” you don’t have to offer any explanations. All you have to do is tell them shortly and firmly, “You know what you did.” Then, keep it moving.
Moreover, you want to walk away before the bullies have time to fire off another curve-ball. Therefore, say what you have to say, in as few words as possible, then turn your back and start walking.
Understand that you owe them nothing, and I mean nothing, more than that! This bears repeating. You don’t have to explain any damn thing to anyone.
Here’s another example. You confront your bullies over something bad they did to you. Then, they ask you, “Really? When did we do so-and-so to you?”
All you have to say is, “You know when it happened,” or “You know when you did it.” Then, simply walk away without looking back.
Again, the trick is to make your response as curt and short as possible. Use as few words as you possibly can. And take a rude tone of voice when you say it.
Sometimes, you have to embarrass your bullies to make them back off.
For instance, when they ask you to explain why you got smart with them, you can ask them, “What are you, five!”
This is a great comeback! Not only are you not allowing those creeps to manipulate you, you’re also adding a touch of shame and humiliation to it.
Moreover, if you’re in public, all the better! With this response, you’re not only calling the bullies out, you’re making them look like punks!
You can also ask them, “Do I have to spell it out for you?”
This comeback is good because, again, it shames the bullies and makes them look like complete idiots. Moreover, it takes their curve-ball question and turns it into a foolish one.
Therefore, you win!
Therefore, you must realize that when bullies pretend not to understand, this is a golden opportunity for you. It’s the perfect opening for you to turn it around on them and hit them in the gut with it.
However, most victims miss this opportunity because of fear and high emotions. But, don’t worry and don’t beat yourself up over it. It isn’t your fault. This happens to the best of us.
Moreover there isn’t a lot of information out there on how to respond to these types of tricks.
How to Stop Over-Explaining:
Sometimes, It’s best not to respond at all.
Some things just don’t need an explanation.
Therefore, if your bullies try to get you to explain yourself, you can just keep walking and pay them no mind. However, be advised. This doesn’t always work.
But, you’ll come out ahead because you understood that over-explaining isn’t necessary. And you didn’t fall into the explaining trap.
In closing:
So, what will happen when you figure out what your bullies are doing?
Once you figure out where all this bullshit comes from, your bullies’ mind-games will no longer affect you. You’ll get bored with all their shenanigans.
Then, you’ll only blow them off with a “whatever,” and keep it moving.
Therefore, you’ll feel much better. And the icing on the cake is that you’ll take the wind out of the bullies’ sails. Moreover, you won’t be any fun to them anymore.
Then, your bullies will finally leave you alone and find some one else to toy around with.
Therefore, stop thinking you have to explain yourself to those who aren’t worth your time. And stop caring what other people think.
Realize that you deserve so much better. Command the respect you deserve. And if that means you walk away and sever ties with toxic people, then, so be it.
You’re better off without them. So, do whatever you must do to take back your power and your peace of mind.
This post was all about how to stop over-explaining so that you can make yourself less a victim and take back your personal power and your peace of mind.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond
2. You Don’t Have to Explain Yourself: 5 Reasons You Shouldn’t