how to stop being bullied as an adult

How to Stop Being Bullied: 14 Tips to Make Yourself Less a Target

‘Want to know how to stop being bullied? Here are all the tips you can use to make yourself less a target.

how to stop being bullied

Millions of people are bullied at school, work, and in the home every day. And the sad thing is that they don’t know how to stop it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to stop being bullied and reclaim your peace and power.

Once you learn all these important tips, you will finally get the respect you deserve. And you will live in peace.

This post is all about how to stop being bullied and finally live a peaceful life.

How to Stop Being Bullied

The bullying you suffer isn’t your fault. There’s nothing wrong with you. And you didn’t do anything to bring it on yourself.

So, if you feel the title of this post has undertones of victim-blaming, it doesn’t. Please be assured that I’m not blaming you.

However, what it does say is that you’re not entirely powerless, which is excellent news! There are ways you can reduce bullying and become more charismatic.

Here are 15 tips to make yourself less OF a target.

Here’s what you can do.

1. Practice confident body language.

Stand up straight. Good posture is a staple of confidence. It shows that you feel great about yourself, and that others will notice and treat you much better.

Look people in the eyes and smile. When you smile, smile with your eyes and your whole face, not only with your mouth. Why?

Because when you smile with only your mouth, it looks fake. And fake smiles only drive others away.

On the other hand, a genuine smile reaches the eyes, forming crinkles around the outer corners. This kind of smile attracts people. Moreover, it makes you much more approachable.

How to Stop Being BULLIED:

How to look confident when bullies approach.

When bullies come around, it’s important not to smile at them. Why? Because they’ll see it as a weakness. Therefore, the best way to look confident around them is to have open body language.

Power poses work best. Therefore, stand with feet shoulder-width apart and arms akimbo. The trick is to expose your chest and belly. This lets them know that you aren’t afraid of them.

2. Don’t be afraid to speak out.

When you’re being bullied, the last thing you should do is stay quiet about it. Remember that bullying thrives in secret. Your silence only gives it permission to flourish.

Therefore, you must speak up.

Bullies may gaslight you to shut you up. However, continue to speak up about it. Why? Because if you don’t, it will only get worse.

3. How to Stop Being Bullied:

Stand up to bullies.

Remember that you have the right to live in peace like everyone else. Therefore, you have the right to defend yourself when some creep attacks you.

If bullies verbally abuse you, come back with a good burn. If they physically assault you, hit them back. Why? Because bullies don’t respond to politeness, because, to them, it’s weakness.

There is no nice way to handle bullying. Bullies only respond to strength. And they respond to consequences.

4. Be yourself.

There’s no point in trying to be someone you aren’t. Being fake only makes bullying worse. Why? Because when you get a reputation for being a poser, others will stop taking you seriously. You will become a lightning rod for ridicule.

Also, being yourself means that you’re okay with being disliked. And it automatically weeds out the fake friends. Therefore, be authentic.

5. How to Stop Being Bullied:

Practice modesty.

Some victims of bullying will incessantly talk themselves up. And I understand why they do this. When people are always putting you down, your first instinct may be to build yourself back up.

You may do it to make yourself feel better and soothe your battered self-esteem. However, be careful. Doing this can make you a bigger victim.

Never talk about yourself too much. And don’t try to bring too much attention to what you do. Nobody likes a braggart. And the more you talk about what you’re doing, the more suspicious others will be.

Even worse, you’ll become a victim of backstabbers. Most people tend to become jealous! Therefore, it isn’t wise to toot your own horn.

Be modest. Make it about others, not yourself. And keep your plans and ambitions to yourself to avoid being sabotaged.

6. Be nonchalant.

Make everything you do look effortless. Being nonchalant protects you from conflict, criticism, and embarrassment.

Also, you don’t look like a try-hard.

7. How to Stop Being Bullied:

Don’t pour on the flattery.

Sometimes, victims of bullying will use excessive flattery to get in their bullies’ good graces. This never works.

You may do it to trick your bullies into leaving you alone. However, it will only backfire. Too much flattery makes you look like a suck-up. And no one likes a kiss-butt.

Others may think you’re running a con game. You’ll only piss them off. So, reserve your compliments for people who deserve them. And, for the love of Pete, don’t attempt to flatter the wrong people!

8. Get noticed.

But don’t overdo it by being flashy or flamboyant. Sadly, victims of bullying will do anything to make others see them. I can understand because no one wants to be made invisible.

However, being gaudy will only attract the wrong kinds of attention. It will make you a bigger target. And the last thing you need is to draw even more negative attention to yourself.

The best thing is to subtly create a style all your own.

9. Adapt yourself to the people you’re around.

But never too much. Keep your own style so you don’t come off as a copycat. When you’re a victim of bullying, you don’t want others to label you a fake.

10. How to Stop Being Bullied:

Bring good news.

Keep any bad news to a minimum. Why? Because people will shoot the messenger of negativity. And if you’re a target of bullying, people already associate you with enough negativity.

So, why not shock a few people by bringing positivity?

11. Never criticize.

Especially the wrong people. Being critical of others can make you seem like a drama queen. Moreover, it can escalate the bullying.

Doing the above things may not stop bullying entirely. But it can dial it down a notch or two. And the less of a target you are, the better!

12. Stop caring what people think.

When you care too much about what others think, you become a slave. In other words, the person whose opinions you place too much value on owns you.

But when you stop caring, you free yourself. You’ll no longer bend over backward to prove your worth. You’ll have the guts to say no when you need to. And you’ll stop doing things you don’t want to do.

Moreover, you’ll hold onto your beliefs and convictions. And you won’t sacrifice your time, your resources, and yourself for people who don’t deserve it.

Therefore, people stop taking you for granted. Why? Because they respect you more. And why not? You no longer accept crappy behavior for the sake of approval. And you attract better people into your life.

Therefore, don’t ever need someone else more than they need you. This is extremely important! There’s more on that HERE.

13. How to Stop Being Bullied:

Befriend other victims.

Because bullies bully you, you have something in common with all the other victims. Therefore, use this to make them your friends and allies.

Bullies usually run in packs. And they come after the lone wolf. Why? Because there is strength in numbers.

Therefore, increase your numbers by making friends with those they bully. You won’t regret it. I promise!

14. Take pride in yourself and in your appearance.

When a person is a target of bullies, it’s too easy for that person to stop caring about everything. This includes their appearance.

The reason is that when someone has been told for so long that they aren’t good enough, they begin to believe it, too.

They won’t even know it’s happening until it’s too late. And the contrary belief of themselves has already taken a foothold in their psyche.

And when they believe something of themselves, whether it’s a lie, they will live up to it.

Understand that this change happens slowly. And before you realize it, you will begin to neglect yourself. They neglect their appearance, their housework, even their health!

  • You may isolate yourself and become a shut-in.
  • Maybe you’ll stop exercising and forego physical check-ups.
  • Or you withdraw from people and social gatherings.

In short, you let yourself go!

Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying, it’s more important that you take care of yourself.

How to Stop Being Bullied:

In Closing

Bully-proofing yourself is about signalling confidence. It’s also about signalling power. The above tips will have you feeling more powerful than you ever thought.

Therefore, this is how you convey strength instead of weakness. You can do it! I believe in you!

This post is all about how to stop being bullied so that you can improve your life and take back your confidence and your power.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. When You Need Someone More Than They Need You: 8 Ways to Tip the Scales of Power! 

2. How to Avoid Being Gaslighted: 5 Easy Tips to Protect Yourself

3. Flattery vs Compliment: 7 Signs Bullies are Buttering You Up

4. How to Make Friends when Everyone Hates You: 4 Tips and Tricks

5. Body Shaming is Bullying: How to be Confident with Appearance

low self-esteem synonym

Low Self-Esteem: 11 Easy and Effective Ways to Overcome It

‘Want to know all the easy and effective ways to overcome low self-esteem? Here are all the crucial steps you need to know.

low self-esteem

Low self-esteem can destroy your life. Self-esteem can determine your entire life’s trajectory.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about low self-esteem, how to overcome it, and how to regain confidence.

Once you learn these vital details, you will be motivated to take the steps needed to raise your self-esteem and become confident and assured.

This post is all about low self-esteem, its roots, and how you can become more confident and improve your life.

Low Self-Esteem

Often, low self-esteem isn’t your fault. Depending on how you were raised, sometimes your self-esteem can take a beating. And, over time, it can accumulate. Here are ways to overcome low self-esteem and regain confidence.

1. Change your environment.

Sometimes, the problem isn’t you. It’s the people around you. In a toxic environment, there are things that will kill your self-esteem. You have those who benefit from your self-doubt. They may give you constant criticism.

Also, they may attack you with ridicule disguised as jokes. They may also point out a physical flaw and body shame you. It’s difficult for self-love to survive constant disrespect.

Therefore, if you suffer bullying and you’ve tried everything to make it stop, it may be best to just leave. Flowers won’t bloom when all they receive is rain. Therefore, it’s best to move them to a better environment.

I realize that this isn’t always feasible. However, if you can, get out of the environment. You’ll be glad you did. I promise you.

2. Establish boundaries.

With every boundary you set, you say to yourself and everyone else, “I matter.” Therefore, you must have boundaries if you want respect. Examples of setting boundaries are saying, “No.”

Or, you can say, “I’m not comfortable with that.” Another part of setting them is not feeling the need to explain anything

When you set boundaries, you allow others to be angry, disappointed, or upset. And you don’t give a damn about it.

Moreover, you drop anyone who disrespects you. Why? Because you refuse to betray yourself “just to keep the peace.”

3. Low Self-Esteem:

Find something you’re good at and practice it.

Learn a skill you love, then practice consistently. Teach what you know to someone else. You see? When you know you’re good at something and you enjoy doing it, you will practice it.

As you practice, you’ll get better at it. As a result, your self-esteem will rise. This will serve as a buffer to any bully who tries to tear you down.

4. Take care of your body.

In other words, eat right and exercise. Taking care of your health also benefits your self-esteem. Moreover, you should practice good grooming, dressing, and hygiene.

Taking care of yourself also means getting plenty of rest. It helps when you feel good.

5. Low Self-Esteem:

Practice self-compassion.

When you give yourself compassion, you acknowledge the pain. This doesn’t mean you dwell on it. However, it does mean allowing yourself to feel your emotions.

Also, you forgive yourself for the behaviors you did just to survive. Realize that there were times when you didn’t have any choice. It was either do that thing you didn’t want to do or bullies would hurt you worse.

So, never beat yourself up for it. And forgive yourself for past mistakes. Mistakes are how we learn.

6. Know your worth.

When you seek approval, you only help your bullies destroy your self-esteem. Shift your mindset from “Do they like me?” to “Do I like them?”

Know that you count just as much as everyone else. And, so do your thoughts and opinions.

Low Self-Esteem:

Here are ways to reclaim your worth.

Define your values. In other words, figure out what they are. Then hold on to them no matter what others say.

Decide what matters to you. If it’s family, self-care, and your faith, be proud of that. And don’t allow anyone to shame you for it.

Also, you must be okay with being disliked. This is a biggie! Some people aren’t going to like you no matter what you do. Therefore, should you really care about that? They don’t matter.

So, focus on those who do.

Don’t be afraid of rejection. It’s a part of life. And life is not a popularity contest.

7. Do things that build your confidence.

One thing you can do is face your fears. Speak even when you’re afraid to. Take risks. Try even if there’s a chance that you’ll fail.

Display your talents and gifts. This is very important!

8. Low Self-Esteem:

Get support from those who love you.

Talk to trusted family members and friends. Get therapy. Go to support groups. Keep a daily journal. Read books and listen to podcasts on self-esteem and self-worth.

9. Heal.

You may have suffered bullying. Others may have constantly criticized you. You may have been punished for speaking up.

However, understand this. You are not how you were treated. So, don’t beat yourself up over any trauma responses. If you froze instead of standing up for yourself when you were attacked, make peace with it.

Forgive yourself for any fawning or people-pleasing you might have done to survive.

10. Build your self-trust.

When you trust yourself, you only grow your self-esteem. Building trust in yourself means finishing what you start. Moreover, it means keeping your promises to yourself.

Also, stop saying yes to bullies when you really want to say no. Listen to and act on your gut instincts, rather than ignoring them. And don’t punish yourself for mistakes; learn from them. Confidence comes from experience.

11.

Low Self-Esteem: Chance your inner self-talk.

Negative self-talk is the biggest enemy to self-esteem. Therefore, notice your automatic thoughts (“I’m a failure.” “No one will ever love me.”).

Then, challenge them. Ask yourself, “Is this a fact or something some asshole told me?”

Name the voice. (“That’s my inner bully talking.” or “That’s my abusive ex talking.” or “That’s what my dad used to say to me when I was a child.”) The trick is to catch the negative self-talk and turn it into a positive one.

You should talk to yourself the way you would talk to someone you love. It won’t be easy. In fact, it will feel awkward at first.

However, the more you do this, the more natural it will feel until it becomes like second nature. So, start doing this today!

12. Befriend others who are bullied.

Many victims of bullying make this mistake. They bully others who are even weaker than they are. Then, they wonder why they have difficulty making friends.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to befriend others who are bullied. Why? Because you will automatically have something in common with them. And common ground is the best ingredient for friendship.

Remember that they’re lonely too. And they could use a good friend who will have their backs against bullies. That person can be you. Also, it will work wonders for your self-esteem.

Strength comes in numbers. Therefore, become friends with as many victims as possible. Then you can stand up for each other, and you won’t feel so alone in this.

13. Low Self-Esteem:

Cut ties with toxic people.

If you have people in your life who bring you nothing but drama, it’s time to cut ties. This may not be easy. However, when it comes to your mental well-being, walking away from those who mistreat you is paramount.

Know that you don’t deserve to be abused. You are just as good as everyone else. And you have the right not to be harmed. Therefore, sometimes it’s best just to walk away.

In closing

Low self-esteem is a plague that is sweeping the globe. And many do not know how to repair it. It seems that a good majority of the population has been trained to take shit off people and not to defend themselves.

Therefore, you must reject everything that you’ve been taught about how to handle bullying. Then retrain the self-preservation instincts that you were born with. Also, you must get to know yourself again.

Moreover, you must know all the signs that your self-esteem is beginning to wane. This is how you overcome low self-esteem.

If you’re being bullied, bullies may turn others against you. However, you don’t have to let them turn you against yourself. The trick is to refuse to see yourself through their eyes.

You must continue to love yourself even if everyone else hates you. 

There is a wealth of resources that can help you repair your self-esteem. You can order books or read articles that will teach you. Therefore, take advantage of the knowledge that is out there.

Why? Because knowledge is power. And it’s something that no one can ever take from you. Self-esteem can be your armor against bullies. Knowledge of bullying is your shield. And self-defense is your sword.

Begin practicing the above tips, and you will be on your way to overcoming bullying.

This post was all about low self-esteem so that you can take the steps you need to repair it and take back your power.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Low Self-Esteem Causes: 3 Things that Crush Your Confidence

2. Signs of Low Self-Esteem and How to Correct It

3. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

4. How to Love Yourself when Everyone Hates You  

defense mechanisms examples psychology

Defense Mechanisms Examples: 9 Ways Victims Cope with Bullying

‘Want to know defense mechanisms examples of victims of bullying and if they describe you? Here’s everything you need to know.

defense mechanisms examples

Being a target can be a lonely and terrifying existence. Because of the intense hatred people spew daily, you walk on eggshells. Why? Because you don’t know what the bullies and their minions will do next.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the most common defense mechanisms and examples so you can recognize them in yourself and take steps to ensure your safety.

Once you learn about these crucial details, you will be able to decide if leaving the environment is your best option.

This post is all about defense mechanisms, so you can gauge whether you should move to a safer environment.

Defense Mechanisms Examples

When you employ defense mechanisms, it is only out of fear. It means that you must tiptoe around everyone else. And if you must walk lightly around others at work or school, you must find a way to get out of there. Fast!

Why? Because you don’t know what they’ll do. They could physically hurt you, or worse. Also, you’re desperate to correct what is wrong, but you have no clue what it is.

So many others can relate. With that said, I want to tell you that if you are targeted by bullies, you are not alone. You will eventually overcome your tormentors just like I did.

So, what are two lesser-known defense strategies targets use?

1. Dressing up for school or work.

To keep their self-esteem from completely tanking, they may dress in flashy clothes. Sometimes, you overcompensate by trying to look like a million bucks.

Clothes from Walmart just aren’t good enough. You think you must shop at Maurice’s, or maybe even Nordstrom, in order to feel good about yourself.

And if you aren’t dressed to the nines, you feel less than. You also do this to alleviate some of the shame.

Not that dressing snazzy is a bad thing. It isn’t. However, the reason many victims do it is that they’re insecure inside. And the clothes help to remedy that insecurity.

This has a lot to do with how poorly others have treated you. So, you dress even better.

But your bullies and everyone else may only label you “a poser.” However, the nice clothes have a way of buffering your self-esteem when bullies attack you.

Moreover, you think that your attire provides you with a sense of control.

2. Defense Mechanisms Examples:

You act stuck-up and conceited.

Put plainly, you may think to yourself. You may even say out loud, “I don’t care what they say. I’m awesome. They’re just too jealous to admit it.”

Does this sound arrogant? Conceited? Maybe. Does this sound like narcissism? Perhaps. Is it the right attitude to have? Both yes and no.

Sometimes, a good defense is for you to act conceited. To survive, you must act as if you’re better than they are.

In other words, your holier-than-thou attitude protects you, in a sense. However unattractive it might be, it helps you to preserve what little self-esteem and dignity you have left.

It helps you to keep going when things are at their worst. Most importantly, it helps you to keep from being totally brainwashed and reprogrammed by others.

And these idiots would love nothing more than to destroy your mental health.

3. Put up walls to shut others out.

You may walk around with your nose in the air and refuse to speak. I did. Why? Because they’d treated me so horribly that I had nothing to say to them. I was like, “F*ck ’em.”

So, if you’re feeling the same, I don’t blame you.

Also, you may have a sassy and smart-alecky attitude. I say this from experience. I was extremely sarcastic and had a snotty disposition.

Heck! I even laughed at and bullied others to grab back some power. My attitude stunk – period. Back then, I felt that my attitude was justified. However, bullying others was wrong. And I was wrong for it.

However, many victims think that it’s the only way to stay strong and maintain a little bit of poise. This is why we must teach them never to bully someone else. Instead, we must convince them to befriend other targets.

Defense Mechanisms Examples:

Most Self-Protective Behaviors are counterproductive. 

Although it’s only a self-protective behavior, this attitude can easily get you hurt. It can also drive away those who would otherwise be great friends and allies.

Nobody wants to risk rejection, even those who aren’t targets of bullying. I don’t recommend you bully others as I did.

However, if people are bullying you, you have every right not to speak to them. And you need to hold your head high. Just be aware of the circumstances first.

4. Sarcasm.

Some targets of bullying can be really sarcastic. This sarcasm gives them a sense of power. In fact, it’s how they survive.

But understand that this reaction to others stems only from fear. And it’s no way to live. Therefore, I cannot stress enough that, if you’re a target of bullying, don’t let it change your attitude.

Pick and choose those to whom you show your snarky attitude. Choose only those who mistreat you.

Sometimes, sarcasm can be socially powerful. But at other times, it can get you into serious trouble.

5. Defense Mechanisms Examples:

Mean-Mugging

Many victims of bullying walk around with a mean look on their faces. Mostly bullied boys and men do this.

However, I knew a girl who did this back in school.

Because she was short, about 4’11” or 5’0″ tall. She was insecure. Therefore, she felt she had to just keep away from people who might want to hurt her.

Again, this mechanism is designed to keep people away just in case they have harm on their mind. I can’t say that I mean-mugged. However, I did give lots of dirty looks to bullies as I passed them in the hallways.

What were they going to do, beat me up for glaring at them? It was my way of silently bullying them back. And I could do it covertly, without being detected.

6. They Become Bullies Themselves.

After enduring bullying for a long time, you can become cold toward others. As a result, your heart hardens. Then, you think that cruelty is the only way to protect yourself.

Bullying leaves you with a sense that you’ve lost all control over your life. It is as if you no longer get a say in what happens to you. In short, you think that you have power over nothing!

Therefore, you become desperate. You ache to have power over something, anything! That’s when you start bullying those who are even more vulnerable than you are.

You see? By bullying you, bullies unwittingly teach you how to bully.

Therefore, never let it take away your humanity. It won’t be easy, but do your level best to hold on to your empathy.

7. Displacement.

An example of displacement is when a child gets yelled at by their parents. Then he goes outside and kicks the dog. A bullied kid gets bullied by bigger bullies, then takes it out on a weaker child in his class.

I think this is the case with bully-victims. They get bullied. Then, they go dump on someone else, even weaker than they are. Again, they do this to get rid of feelings of powerlessness.

Understand that you don’t have to take your frustrations out on someone else. The best thing to do here is to befriend them. It’s much healthier. Also, you may just be the friends you both are looking for.

There are also defense mechanisms that are healthy.

8. Defense Mechanisms Examples:

Sublimation.

This is one of the healthiest defense mechanisms there is. Why? Sublimation is when a bullied victim channels their anger into productive outlets.

For example, a bullied girl channels her suffering into singing and winning contests. A boy works to become a better athlete. Maybe a student makes stellar grades to cope with bullying.

And when I was bullied in school, I channeled much of my resentment into writing and music.

These are all healthy ways to deal with bullies. Why? Because they motivate you to better yourself. Moreover, you are doing something you love.

That, in itself, can take your mind off the bullying. Why? Because you’ll be too busy working on yourself to think about your bullies.

Moreover, it’s how you build self-esteem and grow your confidence. And you form social connections. People love those who are talented. Therefore, keep working on your talents and gifts. Polish them.

Then, get out there and show them what you’ve got! I guarantee you’ll thank yourself later.

9. Self-care.

Self-care is doing things that are good for you. You eat right, exercise, and practice good hygiene and grooming.

But that’s only part of it. Self-care also means refusing to interact with those who mistreat you. In short, you set boundaries. Then, you have nothing more to do with people who violate those boundaries.

This is doing things to ensure your safety and take care of your mental health. Thirdly, you also indulge in your hobbies – doing things you love.

This is how you bully-proof yourself.

This post gave you all the defense Mechanisms examples so that you can know which of those to shun and which to try.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

2. How to Love Yourself when Everyone Hates You

3. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying

4. Let It Make You or Break You: Being a Victim of Bullying

selective outrage bullying

Selective Outrage: 7 Reasons Bullies Use It

Have you heard of the fairly new term, “selective outrage”? And do you know what it is? Here’s what it is and why it’s the most common manipulation tactic in the bully’s playbook.

selective outrage

Bullies are notorious for using this dangerous tactic against their targets. Therefore, in this post, you will learn what it is and the ways bullies weaponize it.

Once you discover all these crucial details, you will then be able to recognize it when it happens. You will also be able to call it out by name and defend yourself against this insidious bullying tactic.

This post is all about selective outrage so that you will be able to see it as it occurs, defend yourself against it, and overcome it.

Selective Outrage

So, what is selective outrage? It is when people ignore bad behavior in others, then turn around and condemn it when their victims do the same. They may also use it when the behavior threatens them.

This happens a lot in politics. However, you also see it in cases of bullying because, unfortunately, bullying and politics go hand-in-hand.

When bullies use this tactic against you, they may use “moral language to punish you for the same actions others get away with. Notice that the key word, here, is “selective.”

It’s not about the behavior itself; it’s about who’s doing it. 

Why do bullies use it?

Bullies use selective outrage for several reasons. Here they are.

1. To redefine rules based on hierarchy (power).

Here’s a simple description:

When bullies or anyone else interrupts a conversation, it’s a sign of confidence. However, when you do it, they label you as disrespectful.

Anyone else can gossip, and they’re only concerned. But when you gossip, you’re stirring up drama.

Therefore, they aren’t throwing a fit based on your behavior. They’re doing it based on your position in the social hierarchy.

Again, everyone else can get away with it. But because you’re a victim of bullying and at the bottom of the social hierarchy, you can’t.

Bullies are constantly shifting the goalposts. And they do it specifically for this reason.

2. Selective Outrage:

To claim the moral highground.

Bullies are masters at pretending to be kind. In public, they may fake tolerance. They may also claim to be peaceful.

However, they usually behave the opposite way when they think that others aren’t paying attention. Moreover, they may have people and other entities who cover for them. Therefore, they become emboldened to abuse those they hate.

Bullies with power can do whatever they want, no matter how cruel. However, if you defend yourself, they come down hard on you. In other words, the outrage only comes out when you assert your rights to be treated with dignity.

They can abuse you for months, but the moment you respond in kind, it’s a problem.

3. To alienate you.

Bullies use it to reframe self-defense as aggression. They can walk all over you, and you’re supposed to take it with a smile. But the moment you as much as talk back, you pay a heavy price.

Why? Because they only push back harder to punish you for talking back. Moreover, they will frame your self-defense as either bullying or an overreaction. Therefore, they will convince others that you’re in the wrong.

And when bystanders and witnesses see you as the villain, you quickly lose allies and support.

4. Selective Outrage:

To blame you for their behavior.

By using fake outrage to make their bullying look like self-defense, bullies blame you. And they convince others that they are the victims.

Bullies have been lying and covering up bad behavior all of their lives. They have been doing this long enough to know what works and what doesn’t.

Therefore, they are master manipulators who acquire great skill in the art of deception. They are the best wordsmiths and con artists, often using charm to deceive those in authority.

They may make “You Made me” and “You Make Me” Statements

Have you noticed that bullies always make statements such as, “You ‘made me’ do it!”? I’ll bet that you have. Bullies often make the following statements to justify their behavior and blame you.

  • “You ‘made me’ or ‘make me’ hit you!”
  • “You ‘make’ people want to hurt you!”
  • “Don’t ‘make me’ hurt you!”
  • “Don’t ‘make me’ mad!”
  • “You make me hate you!”

These are all statements bullies use to gaslight you. They want to brainwash you into believing that their behavior is your fault. They need you and everyone else to believe that you somehow provoke them to act the way they do. That you made them lash out.

5. Selective outrage:

To fool bystanders.

SO tricks bystanders into thinking that the bullies are only responding to injustice. In other words, they’re only holding you responsible for something you must have done wrong.

In that, the bullies come off as fair to others. However, if you pay attention, you’ll notice that accountability only rolls downhill and lands at the bottom. And if you’re a target of bullying, chances are that you’re the one on the bottom.

And those in authority will only side with bullies in power. Why? Their outrage gives them a believable narrative to justify their behavior.

Why does it work so well?

It works because most people mistakenly respond to emotional intensity rather than fairness. Language that is loud, emotional, and moral seems truthful. Moreover, human beings are hardwired to avoid social exclusion.

When bullies manufacture outrage, it’s not about being right. It’s about controlling others’ perception of you.

What are the benefits of selective outrage?

  • It helps your bullies to project their bad behavior onto you more successfully.
  • It protects your bullies’ reputation.
  • Also, it helps them to maintain their social status.
  • It helps them to keep from losing their power and dominance.

If nothing else, understand this. Bullies don’t care about ethics. They only pretend to. What they really care about is maintaining the status quo and social order that benefits them.

Selective outrage is often unspoken but organized. In other words, it’s a coordinated attack because it never operates alone.

So, what are the ways bullies use SO?

There are several ways bullies use SO.

1. They project.

In other words, they project all their faults and shortcomings on you. In doing this, they successfully reverse the roles, making you look like the bully and themselves the victim.

Anytime bullies and abusers face possible accountability for their evil actions, they often cry to feign victimhood. This tactic is mostly used by female bullies.

2. They use double standards.

It’s “rules for thee and not for me.”

Bullies are the biggest hypocrites! Moreover, another unfortunate reality of bullying is that they almost always hold you to their double standards.

The bullies, especially those in authority, will often condemn you for statements and actions they allow others to get away with.

Often, people will get angry at you for things they’d never get angry at others for. In other words, bullies select whom to inflict their outrage on and whom to grant a free pass.

3. Selective Outrage:

They take away any merit you may have.

Here’s another thing to be aware of. Bullies and their followers personalize ideas and creations, which are independent things that should stand on their own merit.

In other words, bullies and others will undermine ideas or creations if they find out that they originated from you. On the other hand, if the exact ideas or creations come from anyone other than you, people will accept them. In fact, they may even praise them.

In short, it’s not about the idea or creation itself. It’s about who it comes from.

Sadly, the reality is that nothing- no action, statement, idea, or creation ever stands on its own merit. Nothing is ever independent of the person who conceived it.

4. They Claim that you had it coming.

Lots of times, when bullies abuse you, they’ll tell you that you had it coming. They may say that you made them do it.

  • “You ‘made me‘ or ‘make me’ hit you!”
  • “You ‘make‘ people want to hurt you!”
  • “Don’t ‘make me‘ hurt you!”
  • “Don’t ‘make me‘ mad!”

However, you must see all this for what it is. It’s all a way for your bullies to blame you and take the guilt off themselves.

5. Selective Outrage:

They imply that you must have provoked it.

For example, if you’re bullied at school, you report it to the principal. The principal then asks you, “What did you do to make that boy attack you?”

Sadly, school staff tend to take the bully’s side and blame the victim.

6. They ask you what you could’ve done to avoid being bullied.

Authority figures are notorious for this. In many cases, they ask you, “What do you think you could’ve done to prevent John from cursing you out?”

If nothing else, understand this right now! When they ask you questions like these, they’re trying to put it off on you.

7. They organize physical attacks.

Bullies may set up organized physical attacks to blame you for their abuse. What do I mean? Here it is.

They may stage fights with you and other people. This is designed to bait you. For instance, they may go to the others and tell them that you said something bad about them. And you probably didn’t. In fact, you probably don’t know the person.

Nevertheless, you have people you don’t know confronting you and threatening physical harm. And, sooner or later, one of them attacks you. Then, a week later, another person physically assaults you.

A month later, another person jumps you. And these attacks repeat themselves until people begin looking at you with suspicion. Why? Because the fights always seem to involve you.

Others can’t help but think, “Why would so many people want to jump Jackie if she isn’t provoking them somehow?”

But that’s the idea! If you are in this kind of predicament, this is precisely what your bullies were counting on! It was the plan all along!

Selective Outrage:

In Conclusion

If you are a victim of selective outrage bullying, there are several things you can do to defend yourself against it:

  • Name the double standards calmly. (“I’ve noticed that no one says anything to so-and-so when they did the same thing.”)
  • Insist on clarity. (Would you like to clarify what the rules are so I can follow them?)
  • Don’t get emotional. Remember that the goal of outrage is to provoke an emotional reaction. Don’t give them what they want.
  • Document everything. This is the time to keep a bullying journal.

This post is all about selective outrage so that you will notice it when it happens and be better prepared to protect yourself from it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Double Standards: 3 Things Bullies and Others Get Away with that Targets Don’t

2. Seeking Approval: 5 Must-Know Reasons It Worsens Bullying

3. Bullying Techniques: 5 Top Sneakiest Tactics 

mobbed at work reddit

Mobbed at Work: Signs You’re About to be Mobbed on the Job

‘Want to know if you’re about to be mobbed at work? Here are the surefire signs that you need to quietly look for work elsewhere.

mobbed at work

Being mobbed at work is one of the most demoralizing experiences. And millions of employees suffer from it every day.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what it looks like when you’re mobbed at work and how to know when you’re about to be.

Once you learn all these crucial details, you will be able to make an accurate judgment and head it off before it gets hairy.

This post is all about the signs you’re about to be mobbed at work so that you can get out with your mental health intact.

Mobbed at Work

Being mobbed at work has ruined the careers of millions of good employees. In fact, many have had to take medical leave and early retirement because it did such damage to their physical and mental health.

Moreover, some innocent employees have been redlisted from employment.

Thankfully, there are signs you can look for if you think you may be a potential target of workplace mobbing. Here is a list of signs to watch for.

1. Exclusion.

People don’t invite you to meetings, lunches, or company outings. Moreover, they keep you out of the loop by excluding you from memos and important emails.

This can have devastating effects on your job and entire career. If you find that you’ve been excluded from these things, it’s because workplace bullies are quietly trying to sabotage you.

Therefore, you may want to begin your exit plan in secret by exploring other employment options.

2. People at work begin avoiding you like a bad disease.

This will happen slowly and gradually. One by one, others begin shunning you without explanation. And you will feel as if something is off.

Even those you thought were friends will distance themselves from you. You’ll know you’re being shunned because you will sense it.

You’ll have that sinking feeling in the pit of your gut. This is your instincts warning you that something is wrong here.

3. Mobbed at work:

People begin making false reports on you.

One day, you will be happily working in your office. Then someone knocks at your door. You open it, and they tell you that the supervisor wants to see you.

“No problem,” you think. “Maybe Mr. X wants to update me on a few things. So, you walk into the supervisor’s office. You notice he’s sitting at his desk with a displeased look on his face, and he asks you to close the door.

You feel the blood drain from your face as you take a seat in front of him. “How can I help you?” you calmly ask.

Mr. X tells you that someone complained that you were asked to do something, but didn’t. They claimed that you told them that it wasn’t your job. And the funny thing is that you know that nothing like that has ever happened.

When you tell him that you don’t know where it came from and that you always did your job. He nods and sends you back to your office. However, you get the sense that he still has doubts. You could tell by the look on his face.

What’s really scary is that this is not the first time this has happened. It may be the second or the third. Therefore, when events like this become a pattern, it’s time to quietly start looking for new employment.

5. You sense that something is off.

With each incident, you will feel that something doesn’t sit right. Again, this is your gut warning you.

Energy doesn’t lie. And lately, your boss and coworkers have been giving you some bad vibes. If nothing else, know this! If something feels off, it usually is.

Therefore, take whatever steps you need to get out of the environment.

6. Mobbed At Work:

You notice micro-flashes of contempt.

You notice that your coworkers seem to like you. They smile in your face and give you compliments. However, as you turn around to head to your office, you notice something out of the corner of your eye. It’s the split-second dirty look they all shot you!

“Whoa! Wait! Did I just see what I thought I saw?” You ask yourself. It may be tempting to doubt yourself. It’s easier to dismiss it as your mind playing tricks on you. But your gut is sounding off like a fire alarm.

Therefore, don’t dismiss it. Because, more than likely, you did see it. In other words, they did glare at you. Only they did it when they thought you wouldn’t see it.

Therefore, stay alert. And, if need be, start making plans to leave that company.

7. People target you with gossip.

In the ladies’ room, you overhear the other women spreading rumors about you. And they’re giggling. Later, when you walk into the cafeteria during lunch break, the room goes quiet.

People are watching you like a hawk. And you wonder why they’re staring so hard. Then you hear whispers. That’s a surefire sign that you’re about to be mobbed.

Therefore, you need to get your ducks in a row and get outski! The sooner, the better!

8. Mobbed at Work:

Constant Criticism.

When you’re about to be mobbed, your boss and coworkers will nitpick every little thing you do. All you will hear from them are complaints about your performance.

Realize that when people nitpick, it means that they are looking for anything to use against you. And, because they haven’t found anything, they are making things up.

And if you defend yourself, they only gaslight you.

Bullies do this all the time when they want you fired. Therefore, give them what they want. Quietly make your escape plan. Then, as soon as you have other employment lined up, walk out and don’t look back.

9. Mobbed at Work:

Your boss Starts assigning you to Demeaning Jobs.

Your boss suddenly removes your regular assignments. He then assigns you a demeaning role. Maybe he has you cleaning the bathrooms. Or he assigns you as a go-for to pick up coffee and donuts for everyone else.

He might even have you empty all the trash cans in the office building. Whatever it is, it’s the crappiest job in the company.

But, understand this. If it is not in your job description, you have the right to refuse. And if your supervisor insists that you do it, you can always quit.

No job is worth the cost to your mental health. Therefore, don’t stay and tolerate disrespect. Quit!

10. Mobbed at Work:

Withholding critical information.

Workplace bullies withhold information to sabotage you and make you look incompetent. Therefore, when they start this, begin your exit plan.

How do you know you’re about to be mobbed?

Here’s what it looks like.

You’re NOT about to be mobbed if:

Your boss calls you into his office after an incident. Maybe someone raised a complaint. Once the meeting is over, you come out of your boss’s office feeling darn good about yourself.

You’ll also notice the boss smiling at you. Also, you’ll notice the person you get into it with looking stressed and withdrawn.

You’ll notice that the other person is increasingly isolated while things are looking better and better for you. Your supervisor or manager will drop by from time to time and chat with you.

Mobbed at Work:

You’re about to be mobbed if:

The boss doesn’t drop by to chat with you in an openly friendly way. Moreover, he doesn’t invite you into his office with a smile after an incident. Instead, the boss will start avoiding you like a bad disease!

Also, your coworkers will go out of their way to track you down and pump you for information. They’ll only fake interest and support in what you have to say.

They may call you at home or come by, feigning support and empathy. And they will pepper it with questions. And they ask those questions to gain information they can use against you later.

It isn’t long before they begin avoiding you, gossiping about you, and defaming you.

You must recognize these signs. Only then will you be able to take appropriate action and ward off a potential termination. Moreover, you will save your reputation. And you won’t risk anyone derailing your career!

Mobbed at Work:

What Happens if you ignore the signs and stay in a toxic workplace?

Many innocent victims of workplace bullying allow bullies to ruin their entire careers. Why? Because they stick it out. Not that this is a bad thing. Resilience is a great thing.

But there’s a difference between resilience and staying in a toxic environment too long. Therefore, don’t stay where you aren’t wanted. Get out before things get hairy.

Why? Because if you stay too long, your mental health will pay the price. And no company is worth your mental health. The sooner you leave, the better off you will be.

Another thing to remember is that mobbing can also happen in schools, among classmates.

This post was all about mobbing at work so that you will know the warning signs and get out before your mental health takes a hit.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Mobbing in Schools: 9 Warning Signs Bullying is Out of Control

2. Bullying or Mobbing?

3. Mobbing in the Workplace: How it Progresses, Step-by-Step

4. Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For

5. Your Gut Feeling: Reasons It Can Save You from Bullying

long-term effects of bullying in school

Long-Term Effects of Bullying: 14 Traits of Adult Survivors

‘Want to know the long-term effects of bullying that can last into adulthood? Here are all the symptoms of adult survivors that you need to know.

long-term effects of bullying

Childhood bullying, whether in school or in the neighborhood, can have lasting effects well into adulthood. Therefore, in this post, you will learn the long-term effects of bullying so that you can work on it if you recognize any of these after-effects.

Once you learn all about these traits, you will be able to get to the bottom of them and live happier and more productively.

This post is all about the positive and negative long-term effects of bullying so that you can move on to a more peaceful life.

Long-Term Effects of Bullying

The effects of school bullying can linger long into adulthood. There are signs and symptoms that only adult survivors of school bullying have. Some are healthy, and some are not. However, here’s a list of both the good and the bad.

1. Social Anxiety.

Bullying can cause you to withdraw from the social scene. And why not? Once you’ve been a victim of severe and long-term bullying, you no longer trust people.

It makes you insecure. You may feel shame. Or, you may fear rejection. Maybe you’re afraid of ridicule. Therefore, it seems safer just to stay away from people.

How you overcome this is to put yourself out there. And do it little by little. Make small talk with people. The trick is to step out of your comfort zone.

I guarantee you that the more you do, the more confident you’ll feel.

2. Long-Term Effects of Bullying:

Depression.

Depression often comes from powerlessness. And that’s what bullying does, it makes you powerless. Therefore, you will feel that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you’re in.

And this may persist even after the bullying is over with. And sadly, it can last a lifetime. However, know that there are steps you can take to heal and start thriving again.

If you need to, seek therapy. It just may help you overcome it.

3. Trust issues.

Bullies can cause you to lose trust in people. Once you’ve endured abuse for so long, you begin believe that all humans are cruel.

Therefore, you shut others out. Why? Because you think it is safer. You may become cold and mean. Or, you may be excessively secretive.

But you don’t trust people enough to let them in. Again, you must take steps to overcome lack of trust. And you can do this by mustering up the courage to talk to people.

Make small talk with someone in the grocery store. Or, you can say hello to someone on the street. Whatever you do, start small and slowly build.

Your self-esteem will thank you later.

4. Long-Term Effects of Bullying:

Harsh Inner critic.

Many survivors have an inner bully. In other words, they have an inner critic who judges every move.

That evil inner voice may call them ugly names. Or it may ridicule the decisions they make. Whatever it says to you, you must retrain that voice.

Therefore, the next time that voice starts putting you down, catch it. Then, replace those harsh words with those of love and praise.

This may feel strange at first. However, if you keep it up, you will soon train your inner voice to speak positive things.

5. Bitterness.

Many people become bitter after being bullied. They hold grudges and wish harm on those who’ve hurt them. As a result, they live the rest of their lives in misery.

But you don’t have to live that way. Realize that hate only hurts the hater, not the hated. Holding grudges doesn’t help you at all. It only eats you up inside.

Therefore, find ways to heal. Get rid of the animosity. Then you can take back your peace and be happy again. I guarantee it!

6. Long-Term Effects of Bullying:

You May Bully other adults.

Many survivors of school bullying become bullies once they’re adults. Why? Because if the bullying worked on them, then why not try it on others?

Because they feel powerless, they want to make others feel the same way. Then they can feel powerful.

However, if you’re one of these people, I want to tell you this isn’t the way to be. It only makes you just as bad as them. Moreover, you will make enemies fast!

Overcoming bullying means healing and being a friend to others. Therefore, use it to foster empathy. Be kind. Because kindness isn’t weakness. It is a strength!

7. May Want excessive time alone.

Some survivors avoid people. Therefore, they isolate themselves. This isn’t good because your fortress can become your tomb.

Human beings need connection. They need social experiences. Therefore, get out there and meet people. Don’t be shy.

As mentioned earlier, start small and build from there. You never know. You just might make a life-long friend.

8. Long-Term Effects of Bullying:

Contrary attitude.

Survivors of bullying sometimes become contrary adults. The reason is that they’ve had their power taken away. Moreover, they want to ensure that it never happens again.

Therefore, they deliberately go against the grain to snatch back their autonomy. They also do it to guard themselves from groupthink.

Some may do it to keep from appearing too nice.

If you’re one of these people, others may call you “stubborn.” Or they may call you “selfish.” However, know that it’s okay to be agreeable when you truly agree with something.

Just don’t be too agreeable. There’s a middle ground to everything.

9. No-Nonsense Attitude/Hard Nosed

Many survivors of childhood bullying grow into no-nonsense adults. In other words, they don’t have time for ignorance. And petty people get on their nerves.

Moreover, they don’t respond to stupidity. And they walk away from drama. Know that there is nothing wrong with this. It’s actually a healthy way to be.

The reason some former victims end up this way is that they had enough of that shit in school. Back then, there was little they could do about it.

However, now that they are grown, they have more control over who they allow in their lives. Therefore, it’s easier to dismiss petty people. And it’s easier to tell those who are toxic to get bent.

10. Long-Term Effects of Bullying:

Strong-Willed

Survivors of bullying tend to be strong-willed. In other words, if you tell them they can’t do something. They’ll do it anyway just to prove to you that they can.

If you’re this kind of person, you don’t let others tell you what to do. You don’t give a damn. You’re going to do what you want, even if it makes others angry. So, you’ll gladly give those who try to control you a double-barreled middle finger.

The reason survivors are stubborn like that is that they know what it’s like to have bullies control their lives. Therefore, they rebel against that by calling their own shots. And, to hell with what anyone else thinks.

Again, there is nothing wrong with this. It’s healthy to live life on your own terms.

11. Complex PTSD

Many survivors suffer from Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This is characterized by flashbacks, nightmares, and hypervigilance.

However, you can turn this around by seeking therapy. Therapists can teach you how to overcome CPTSD. Or, they can, at least, show you how to control it.

12. Long-Term Effects of Bullying:

A Will to Achieve Success

Some survivors use the bullying they suffered as motivation to do well in life. Therefore, they will excel academically. They will select high-paying jobs. Or they’ll create something, patent it, and sell it.

The reason some are so success-driven is that they’re angry at the injustice they suffered from bullies. However, they use their anger constructively.

Instead of sitting around and holding grudges, they get busy improving their lives. They work on themselves. They work toward their goals. And they achieve them.

This is also a healthy behavior. Therefore, do what you must for self-betterment. It will pay off in the long run.

13. Determination to live life on their terms

Past bullying gives many survivors the determination to live their lives on their terms. The reason for this is that they’ve had enough of what they didn’t want when they were kids.

Therefore, now that they’re adults, they have the power to begin building good lives for themselves. They go after what they want in life.

And they don’t stop until they get it. Moreover, they don’t allow others to tell them what they can and can’t do. Hence, they don’t live their lives on anyone else’s terms but theirs.

Again, there’s nothing wrong with this because it’s the healthy way to be.

14. Fierce Independence.

Survivors of bullying are fiercely independent. Why? Because chances are, they had little to no friends in school. As a result, no one helped them.

Therefore, they had to rely on themselves to survive. If they needed something, they had to find ways to get it themselves.

You see? They learned that nobody would give them a damn thing. Experience taught them that they didn’t need anyone to get where they wanted to go.

And when you have no one to support you but you, you learn real fast that only you are responsible for your own life.

This post was all about the positive and negative long-term effects of bullying so that you can use this knowledge to rebuild your life and take back your happiness.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Survivors of Bullying: How It Feels to Overcome

2. Adult Survivors of School Bullying: 19 Things They Do Differently

3. The Effects of Bullying: 17 Negative Results on Victims

4. Effects of Bullying on the Victim: 13 Symptoms of Bullied People

5. Your Gut Feeling: Reasons It Can Save You from Bullying

silent treatment synonym

Silent Treatment: Why Bullies Give It and What You Should Do

What is the silent treatment? Here’s what it is, why bullies use it, and how you should handle it.

silent treatmentIt’s not what you say; it’s what you don’t say. When bullies wish to harm someone, the silent treatment can be the most effective way of doing so. It is a cruel and sneaky way of control.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about the silent treatment and why bullies use it. You will also learn how to handle it and ways to look at it.

Once you learn all these vital tips, you will be able to embrace their silent treatment and be unbothered by it.

This post is all about how bullies weaponize the silent treatment and how to deal with it so that it doesn’t faze you.

Silent Treatment

Silence can be a powerful weapon. Bullies use it for control. How do they control you with silence? You may ask.

They do it to keep you on the back foot, wondering what you did wrong. In other words, they give you the silent treatment to control the way you feel.

Bullies also use it as a form of manipulation. Their goals are to induce feelings of guilt, fear, and insecurity in you. And if you don’t realize this, they will eat you alive with it.

This is why you must understand why people weaponize silence and how you should view it.

Reasons why People Use the Silent Treatment

Remember that those who use this tactic are cowards. And they know that this is the most effective and least noticeable way to dig at you.
.
Here are other reasons they use this tactic.

1. It’s least noticeable by others.

It leaves no bruises, cuts, or scratches. Therefore, there’s no physical evidence. This type of bullying is also hard to prove because people don’t see it as easily.

This is why it isn’t wise to report this type of bullying. Moreover, you should never respond to this type of abuse emotionally.

For instance, you wouldn’t want to react out of anger and tell the bully off. And you wouldn’t want to burst into tears over it. Why?

Because silence is invisible, others may see you as overly sensitive or mentally unbalanced.

2. It’s the most effective.

Again, the silent treatment is emotional manipulation. So, you must see it as just that. When you’re able to see it for what it is, the less likely you are to be affected by it.

Bullies know that it’s the most covert way to assert control over you. It keeps you confused and makes you doubt yourself.

And as long as they can induce self-doubt, they can have power over you.

3. Silent Treatment:

For control, dominance, and intimidation

Again, bullies use this dirty trick to control how you feel and to dominate you. You see? If they can control how you feel about yourself, they have power over you.

The last thing bullies want is to see you happy. Therefore, this is a powerful tool to bring you down. Most bullies are miserable. Therefore, they want to make you as miserable as they are.

People also use the silent treatment to intimidate you. Why? Because if they can instill fear in you, then they can manipulate you like a puppet on a string.

4. To manipulate you into doing what they want you to do.

Everyone has a desire for approval. However, bullies will dangle the carrot of acceptance to keep you under control. Therefore, they will never accept you.

Instead, you’ll end up spinning your wheels for nothing.

If someone has to use manipulation to force you to do what they want, it’s time to cut ties. Why? Because they don’t respect your boundaries.

A person who truly approves of you would respect your rights and freedom to choose. Never seek approval from those who abuse and use you.

5. Silent Treatment:

To make you feel guilty

You didn’t give the bullies what they wanted. Now, they intend to make you feel as if you did something wrong. You didn’t!

Realize that the silence tactic is a childish way of handling conflict. It is used by those who don’t know how to regulate their emotions.

And if you let it get to you, it will only encourage the bullies to keep doing it anytime you don’t cave in and do their bidding.

6. To punish you.

Bullies may use the silent treatment to punish you for a perceived slight. It could be that you didn’t do what they wanted. So they stop talking to you and begin talking about you.

Maybe you didn’t give them the reaction they wanted when they tried to bully you the last time. And now, they want to punish you for not reacting the way they wanted you to.

Sometimes, bullies don’t stop when you refuse to react. They only get sneakier with their tactics.

7. Silent Treatment:

to bully you while covering their asses.

The silent treatment is the invisible kind of bullying. It leaves no physical marks. But psychologically, it can be devastating if you don’t know how to handle it.

Therefore, bullies use this tactic to get you to react emotionally. Then, they can brand you as unstable while silently ripping you to shreds.

And they’ll continue to go undetected by bystanders and witnesses. Your emotional outburst will be the cover they need.

So, how can you respond to this type of bullying?

1. See it for what it is – emotional manipulation.

When you finally recognize it as it is, you’ll be less bothered by it. Moreover, when you know what the goal of it is, the easier it is to defend against.

2. Mirror the bullies by returning the silent treatment.

Two can play that game. Therefore, give it right back to them. Don’t let them control or intimidate you. And most importantly, never come back at them with an emotional response.

When you return the silent treatment, you’re not begging or attacking them out of anger. The trick is to repay silence with silence.

If someone is giving you the silent treatment. Give them the same thing. This is how you preserve a sense of power over your life.

3. Don’t let them phase you.

These people are bullies. So, do you really care?

4. Cut those childish buffoons out of your life.

Do it either entirely or have as little to do with them as humanly possible. You don’t need to be around these confidence thieves.

Realize that you don’t have to put up with that.

5. Stay calm.

Don’t get emotional. Exhibit self-control and don’t get sucked into the bullies’ mind games.

6. Call them out.

Tell them, “Look. What you’re doing is called the silent treatment. You can’t possibly keep up this childish behavior forever, and it’s not going to work.

7. Silent Treatment:

Enjoy the peace and quiet.

Believe it or not, there’s a bright side to this tactic. At least the bullies aren’t in your face for the time being. You get a reprieve from hearing them bitch and pitch their sissy fits!

When they give you the silent treatment, they’re leaving you the hell alone. When it happened to me, I enjoyed the quietness that it brought. As long as they stayed the hell away from me, I was happy.

Woohoo! Who doesn’t love that!

And you can do it too. You can get enjoyment out of it when your bullies do the same to you. Just imagine the relief. Another thing to consider is that bullies aren’t the type of people you give a damn about anyway.

 They’ve probably treated you horribly for so long that you couldn’t care less if they ignore you.

Do all the above, and the bullies might leave you alone and move on to an easier target. And, you’ll feel much better about yourself knowing you stood up to them and asserted yourself.

In Closing

Though the silent treatment is hurtful, especially if it comes from someone you love. However, it also has a positive side. All you have to do is look at it from a different perspective.

The silent treatment can be a good thing because you don’t have to listen to the garbage bullies spew. When people are avoiding you, you don’t have to worry about them being under your butt all the time.

Nobody bothers you, so that’s a huge plus!

However, be warned! Once bullies get the message that you either don’t care or enjoy the quiet of their silent treatment, they will be furious. Then, they will quickly change their tactics. So, get ready for them to really act out!

Reverse psychology is a beautiful thing. Because when you know how to use it against bullies, it gives you confidence you never thought you had.

So, when you reverse this tactic on them, who’s really in control here? You or them?

This post is all about the silent treatment, why bullies use it, and what you can do to counter it and keep your power.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Encouraging Words for Bullying: You Can Overcome!

2. Character vs Reputation: 4 Tactics Bullies Use to Smear You

3. Family Bullying: 9 Powerful Tips to Buffer Yourself Peacefully

4. How to Stop Being Too Nice: 5 Powerful Changes that Win Respect

5. Why Bullies Target Quiet People: 11 Must-Know Reasons

facts about bullying in school

Facts About Bullying

Want to know all the facts about bullying? Here is everything you need to know.

facts about bullying

There are certain facts about bullying that you must know before you can overcome it. These truths will encourage you to stand up to bullying and overcome it. How does she know, you may ask. Because they did me.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the crucial facts about bullying so you can stand up and defend yourself.

Once you learn all about these life-changing truths, you will be encouraged to take care of yourself and take back your power.

This post gives you all the facts about bullying that you need to gather the courage to stand up to it and take your life back.

Facts about Bullying

Before you can gather the courage to stand up to bullying, there are hard truths you need to know. These are facts that I had to learn the hard way. So, let’s dive right in!

Here they are.

1. Bullying and freedom cannot coexist.

Bullying and personal freedom can never coexist. Why? Because bullying is zero-sum. Always. When you suffer from bullying, it’s akin to being held hostage.

In essence, they bind and gag you. In short, they take away your personal power! And without that power, you have no freedom.

Either you’re free to be yourself, or people bully you for it. You either have personal power or people bully you and take it away.

Freedom means being free to be a human being and make mistakes. It also means being allowed to learn from those mistakes. However, when people constantly bully you for those things, that’s not freedom. It’s enslavement.

Instead, they brutally punish you for making mistakes that anyone else could’ve made. Moreover, anyone else would have gotten a pass because all humans make mistakes.

2. Facts about Bullying:

It takes away your humanity.

When you’re bullied, there’s no margin for error. On the other hand, if you’re fortunate enough to be on equal footing with everyone else around you, you have that luxury.

Others will look at you and realize that we’re all imperfect humans. Therefore, they’ll cut you some slack.

Understand that bullying dehumanizes you. Others either see you as a human being or they don’t. Bullying will strip you of any shred of humanity.

It renders you sub-human in the minds of not only bullies but, in many cases, bystanders.

Moreover, this process can happen quickly, in as little as a few months. Bullies bully you so frequently that bystanders grow accustomed to it and become desensitized.

And why not? They watch them brutalize you every day, sometimes several times per day.

3. No one likes a victim of bullying.

 It’s a fact. No one respects a victim. No one likes a victim.

In your mind, you may not be a victim but a target. And that’s a good thing. However, because others see you being beaten down all the time, they will view you as a victim.

And most people don’t have the critical thinking skills to know the difference.

Therefore, you must document everything that happens in detail. Or you must find a way to leave the bullying environment. Otherwise, if it goes on long enough, it will take a toll on your mental health.

Your mental health is important here. You must take steps to reclaim your freedom.

4. Facts about Bullying:

You can never appease a bully.

Never! No matter what you do to satisfy the bullies. You may tell them what they want to hear. You may submit to them. And sure, they may go away and leave you alone. But only for the time being.

That small reprieve bullies give you will always be short-lived.

Why? Because your submission has always worked. It gave your bullies what they want. In your submission, you are rewarding their behavior.

You may have told them what they want to hear. Or you could have let them cheat off you during an exam. Maybe you allowed them to take credit for your idea

Nevertheless, you rewarded their behavior. Therefore, they will always come back for more. And the same goes whether you endure bullying in school, the workplace, or in your community.

Additionally, your bullies get psychological rewards from your having to constantly tiptoe around them. Why? Because it gives them a sense of power and domination.

Bullying is all about power… raw power! And they will never give that up. Not without a fight!

5. Facts about Bullying:

You can never submit your way out of being Bullied.

I cannot stress this enough. Again, you can never appease a bully. Any attempts to do so will only have the opposite effect.

Trying to appease a bully only makes you appear weak. It then emboldens them to come back for more later. Why? Because it is what has been working for them all along!

You will spend years jumping through hoops. You will bend yourself into a pretzel. And you will be stuck, wondering when your bullies will be back in your face again.

This is no way to live. Life is too short to waste one second being an emotional slave to someone else.

Eventually, you will need to take a hard stand before they will finally leave you alone. The last thing you want is to spend the rest of your life being someone else’s doormat.

The only way to stop being bullied is to buck up!

You must get tired of it and confront them head-on when they come for you. Speak out against them, to their faces, if need be. And when you say it, say it bluntly and mean it!

Then, if they respond with physical threats and violence, be ready to hit back and defend yourself.

Sometimes it takes a final showdown before your bullies will finally give you the respect you deserve. Do you remember the movie “Tombstone”?

A band of bullies had terrorized an entire boom town. They killed one Earp brother and wounded another. Afterwards, Wyatt Earp and his buddies made their final stand.

They hunted down each member of the Cowboys gang. And they all but eradicated them, which eventually led to their disbandment.

This is not to say you should hunt down your bullies, but you get the point.

6. Facts about Bullying:

Bullies thrive on your fear of retaliation and further harm.

Your fear of retaliation and suffering further harm is understandable. It is a natural human response to danger. So, in no way am I blaming you for it.

However, realize that your bullies thrive on your perfectly normal fear response. And they will exploit it every chance they get! And why not?

Your fear has thus far gotten them what they want. It has rewarded your bullies both psychologically and, more than likely, materially. So, why would they stop now or ever, for that matter?

Understand that rewards feel good! And if it feels good, humans want more and more of it! So, again, why would your bullies stop trying to get more of it?

Moreover, why would they stop doing the very things to you that have proved to be successful?

Human nature dictates that your bullies will always come back for more rewards! And they will return to the source of the rewards (you). Moreover, they will repeat the same methods that have enabled them to attain those rewards.

For example, a prospector finds a gold mine loaded with gold. There’s nothing to stop him from stealing it. Therefore, he’s not going to stop mining for it just because there’s more gold in it than he can carry.

No. He’s going to return to the mine later to get more gold. Consequently, if there’s no barrier to stop him, he will keep going back until there’s no more gold left in the mine.

Facts about Bullying:

if there’s more free gold in the mine, why not go back for it?

People are greedy like that. Bullies are no exception to this rule when it comes to power. You are the goldmine, and your personal power is the gold.

Each time they return, they will chip away at your self-esteem more and more to get that gold. Therefore, the trick here is to stop supplying “the gold.”

There’s a reason for boundaries.

Stop rewarding their behavior and set boundaries! Remember that mine owners usually had armed guards posted to prevent greedy prospectors from robbing them.

The guards are the boundaries for the mine. They protect the mine by keeping the robbers out.

Also, nations have boundaries to keep out foreign invaders. And people should have them as well to ward off others who would otherwise use and abuse them.

These Facts about Bullying will make you angry – at yourself!

In most cases, realizing these truths will make you angry. Then, you will grow so sick of being crapped on.

You’ll be angry with yourself for having allowed them to abuse you for so long. Also, you will reach the point where you stop caring how the bullies respond.

In other words, you will be willing to face the possibility of getting beaten within an inch of your life. However, you won’t care anymore. Damn the consequences!

Your attitude will be, “They may whip me, but I’ll go down swinging and get a few good licks in! I’ll leave a few marks on them, and they’ll know I’ve been there!”

You will be so furious that you’ll flatly refuse to live in fear any longer, come what may.

7. Facts about Bullying:

Bullies only understand strength and power. They do not understand reason, diplomacy, nor politeness.

You cannot handle bullies with kid gloves. In other words, there are no nice or polite ways to deal with them. You cannot be nice when setting boundaries.

Bullies only see niceties, pleasantries, and politeness as weaknesses to exploit and manipulate. They do not respect you for having those things.

Also, you can never reason with bullies. Bullies only perceive any form of diplomacy and reasoning to be signs of weakness.

Therefore, you must communicate with your bullies in the only language they understand. You must meet them exactly where they are. When you set your boundaries, do so firmly and bluntly. And mean it!

You cannot just set boundaries and expect your bullies to respect them. You must also enforce those boundaries with consequences because bullies will see this as a challenge. And you can best believe they will rise to that challenge.

In other words, they will violate your newly established boundaries. And they’ll do it to dare you and to prove that they can. Also, they may try to gaslight you.

That’s when you impose harsh consequences. And when you do, make sure that the consequences are severe enough to make them stop!

The consequences must be so severe that your bullies won’t even want to look in your direction again, much less mess with you.

Facts about Bullying:

You must speak from a position of power and strength.

To put it figuratively, unleash hellfire and put the fear of God in them! Think Hiroshima and Nagasaki after the Pearl Harbor attack. Japan never attacked us again afterwards.

We eventually won their respect, and they became one of our closest friends. And we continue to be friends with Japan today.

Here it is, in a nutshell. When you’re dealing with bullies, it’s either put up or shut up.

In Closing

 The bullying you suffer may get worse before it gets better. Why? Because bullies always fight the hardest when they know they’re losing their power over you.

Therefore, don’t give up. Stick to your guns. And know that eventually, after you severely school your bullies enough times, they will eventually get the message. They will give up and go find another chump to jerk around.

This will be very difficult, if not terrifying. However, if you don’t want to waste years tiptoeing around bullies, you must realize these facts. These aren’t opinions, they’re facts.

These essential truths were the ones I had to realize before I could muster the courage to defend myself. Then, I could finally put a stop to the years-long nightmare I was living in.

THis post gave you all the facts about bullying so that you will be emboldened to stand up for yourself once and for all.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

2. Opinions are Not Facts: 7 Reasons Those of Bullies Don’t Matter

3. Why People Reward Bullies

4. Bullying and Gaslighting: 7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims

5. Facts About Respect: 9 Time-Tested Truths You Must Know