Bullying Journal: 8 Reasons You Should Keep One

June 7, 2025June 18, 20256 Comments

‘Want to know the importance of a bullying journal and why you should keep one? Here are all the reasons you should keep a journal of the attacks if you suffer bullying.

If you’re a victim of bullying, it can have long-term, devastating effects on your life. Sadly, school officials, corporate managers, parents and even law enforcement still can’t fully comprehend the daily torment victims endure.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why it’s crucial that you keep a daily bullying journal and document everything.

Once you learn all about the reasons for keeping one, you will be more proactive in ensuring your safety.

This post is all about the importance of keeping a bullying journal so that you can do your own investigation and build your own case against your bullies.

Bullying Journal

Journals are one of the best ways for you to get evidence of bullying.

Moreover, you especially need one if the bullying becomes physical and you need medical attention. Therefore, here are all the reasons this documentation is important to have.

1. Bullying is Hard to Prove.

Bullies are experts at acting charming and polite in front of other people. However, they do this to hide their bad behavior. This is why people often don’t believe you when you report the bullying.

In fact, they may blame you. They may ask what you did to make the bully attack you.

Why? Because the bully will only rationalize and explain away their bad behavior. Moreover, they’ll make it sound like you asked for it.

‘You see? Bullies are very convincing liars. They’re experts at turning others against you. Thus, you should always keep written documentation of their abuse.

Here’s another reason bullying is so difficult to prove.

Bullies often disguise their behavior as harmless jokes and teasing. Therefore, people in authority probably won’t take it very seriously when you report it.

They’ll just think that you’re too sensitive and need to lighten up.

2. Reasons to Keep a Bullying Journal:

Bullies are experts at making you look like the bad guy.

This goes back to number one. However, it bears repeating. Bullies can charm the panties off a nun. Here are ways they charm people in authority and make their lies sound so believable.

Many bullies use good looks and impeccable dressing to impress others. In this, they use the halo effect, to their advantage. The Halo Effect is a phenomenon where those who look the best are the most trusted and respected by others.

Also, bullies will use your emotions against you. Let’s face it, being bullied can turn you into an emotional mess. Therefore, if you react to bullying with intense anger or crying, bullies will put on a calm and collected demeanor.

As a result, you’ll come off looking unhinged. And people in authority will take the bullies’ word over yourself. Why? Because of the calm, cool front they put up.

Moreover, while looking calm, they’ll point out your emotional reaction and twist it to convince everyone that you’re unstable.

Bullies will also play the victim and burst into tears to gain sympathy from other people.

Seasoned bullies are master wordsmiths. They can spin a story that is so convincing that teachers and supervisors will find it hard not to believe it.

2. Reasons to Keep a Bullying Journal:

Most Schools and Workplaces Protect Bullies.

If your bullies are high performers, they’re able to impress teachers, principals, and supervisors. Therefore, it’s likely that reporting them won’t help

In fact, it might make things worse.

Understand that schools and workplaces look out for their own interests. Therefore, if your bullies impress them or make them look good, you’re screwed.

It’s not uncommon for schools or workplaces to cover up incidences of bullying. The reasons they do this is to protect their precious reputations.

Moreover, they may like the bullies, a lot! So, they’ll hide bullying to protect them as well. There are countless stories of schools retaliating against bullied kids for opening their mouths.

For example, the school might contact Child Protective Services and send them to their homes to break up their families.

Remember that school officials, mainly school board members, are elected officials.

3. IT Gives You Evidence to present in court or tribunals.

The school or company may tell you that they’ll investigate the bullying. However, they either won’t do it at all or they’ll do a sloppy investigation.

Also, here’s another thing you need to think about. Any investigations they conduct will be geared toward keeping their own asses out of hot water, not to protect you.

Therefore, you must be your own detective and build your own case. Keeping a bullying journal is one of the ways you can do this.

In fact, journals are the best way you can gather evidence of bullying.

4. Reasons to Keep a Bullying Journal:

It Establishes a pattern of the bullying events.

To establish a pattern, you must write in your journal every day. Even if you have days when the bullies leave you alone, which will probably be rare, write those days down too.

This will prove how often these people bully you and will provide prove of that if the bullying is severe and ritualistic.

5. Documenting the bulling gives you a voice.

In other words, it gives you equal say when no one else listens to you. By documenting the abuse, you can tell your side without being ignored or having their experiences trivialized by the bully or anyone else.

Journals cannot trivialize your experiences. Moreover, they can’t invalidate your suffering in any way. Journals are also confidential. Therefore, they’re the safest.

If you’ve tried telling a staff member how people bully you, only for them to silence or blame you, you owe it to yourself to document the harassment in your daily journal.

In short, if you can’t talk about it, write about it! It will probably be the only outlet you have.

6. Your story will be more credible.

Writing your bullying journal is a clear, legible, and organized manner helps you to keep your story straight. Therefore, you’ll look more credible to anyone who’s in a position to help you.

When you’re emotional from all the bullying you suffer, you’re more likely to forget important parts of what happened.

Also, emotions may cause you to ramble when you explain what’s been happening. And, the last thing you want to do is start rambling when you’re trying to report bullying.

The reason for this is that high emotions block your ability to think straight. But if you have your journal, you’ll be more likely to stay calm and tell the entire story.

7. Reasons to Keep a Bullying Journal:

It’s Admissible in Court.

Keeping a journal gives you a legal record of the bullying. Therefore, In case the bully hurts you badly enough to send you to the hospital, you’ll have your journal to present to law enforcement.

Moreover, if you have to go to court, you can use the journal as evidence of bullying.

8. It’s good therapy for you.

Keeping a journal is cathartic and therapeutic. It allows you to express the emotions you can’t show any other way.

What to do and what NOT to Do When You Journal

When you document bullying in your journal, you must think about the quality of the information. Here’s what not to do when documenting in your bullying journal.

1. Don’t be Vague.

Write down everything in detail. Record the what, who, when, where, why, and how. Also, avoid using subjective language. And never write down your conclusions of the bullying that’s been happening.

Examples of vague statements include,

She made me feel humiliated.
He embarrassed me in front of everyone.
He physically assaulted me.
They isolated me from everyone.

Focus on what happened and the bullying behaviors you encountered, not what you feel! For example, what do the bullies do? What did they say to you? Write down your bullies’ exact words, complete with quotation marks.

For instance, if a bully got in your face and slapped you, include that in your journal. Those are the bullying behaviors you need to describe. If they yelled at you, cursed you out, and threatened you, write that down too. Be sure to write down exactly what they said to you.

2. Reasons to Keep a Bullying Journal:

Do Stick to the facts.

In other words, avoid any primal responses. Keep the inflammatory language to a bare minimum. Now’s not the time for emotional writing. Just share what they did to you in the tiniest details possible.

3. Use the 5W Rule (what, who, when, where, why, and sometimes How).

Again, write down what happened in full detail. Also, record the names of those present when the attack took place. Write down the names of bullies, bystanders, teachers, EVERYONE!

Record the time, date and place the altercation occurred. Do this with every incident that takes place. Leave nothing out!

Even if the attacks are minor, you must still record it in your journal. For example, if the confrontation is verbal, write it down.

Why? Because verbal aggression often precedes a physical one.

In Closing:

I can’t stress this enough! Keeping a journal can be the difference between people listening to you or blowing you off.

Therefore, keep very detailed records of any taunts, threats and altercations no matter how small they may seem.

Also, write everything down while it’s fresh in your mind. The last thing you want to do is procrastinate and end up forgetting a few important details.

Write your daily journal in secret. This should go without saying. You wouldn’t want anyone to see it.

Bullies are known to destroy property and rummage through your belongings. Therefore, keep your journal in a safe place. If you worry about the wrong people finding it and snooping through it, keep your journal at home.

But write in it as soon as you get home, while your memory of the days events are still fresh. The sooner you record, the better.

Keeping a bullying journal is crucial when people bully you. Don’t depend on anyone else to do an investigation for you. Do your own. Gather your own evidence.

Build your own case. It could save your life.

This post is all about why you should keep a daily bullying journal so that you can gather your own evidence and build a rock solid case against your bullies and the people in power who allow them to abuse you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Document Bullying: 5 Things to Record in Your Journal

2. Bullying Evidence: 5 Smart Ways to Get Evidence of Bullying

3. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

Walking Away from Fake Friends

June 6, 2025June 18, 202514 Comments

‘Want to know why walking away from fake friends is the best thing you can do for yourself? Here are all the details you need to know about.

Having pure enemies is better than having fake friends. Why? Because with an enemy, you know where you stand with them.

However, fake friends are worse than enemies because they get close enough to you to get you.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why walking away from fake friends is smart so that you won’t feel guilty about it.

Once you learn all about these important reasons, you will be able to walk away with confidence instead of guilt.

This post is all about walking away from fake friends so that you won’t beat yourself up when it’s time to say adios to imposters.

Walking Away from Fake Friends

Ditching those you thought were your friends can be a difficult thing to do. Why? Because there are feelings of guilt involved. Moreover, you might be afraid of being alone and friendless.

However, if you have friends who are stabbing you in the back and trying to sabotage you in life, it’s the wisest thing you can do.

Don’t drink dirty water because you’re thirsty.

You might look at the title of this post and think, “Well, duh!” So, let me put it another way.

Just because you’re thirsty doesn’t mean you have to drink dirty water. Even if it seems that dirty water is all that’s available.

In other words, don’t let loneliness cause you to go back to toxic people just because good people are hard to find.

“Settling for toxic friends because you’re lonely is like drinking dirty water because you’re thirsty.” – Cherie White –

When you finally get enough of being used and abused by fake friends and decide to walk away, you may be alone for a while. In fact, life may put you to the test to see if you’re really and truly done with those creeps.

Even worse, life may decide to drag it out over a few weeks or months just to test your strength. This happens to many victims of bullying. They may ditch the fakes who only pretended to be their friends.

Afterwards, they may be friendless. And they may wait a little while. However, eventually they cave in and go back to the same assholes who treated them so badly.

You may do the same thing.

You may allow your frenemies to sweet-talk you back into the friendship. However, what happens once you go back?

Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Patience is a Must!

It’s true that these fakes may be extra friendly. They treat you well for a few days, weeks, or maybe even a month. However, they will eventually go back to treating you like crap again.

Why? Because they see the second chance you gave them as weakness. To them, it’s evidence that you were only bluffing when you broke off the friendship.

You only look desperate, or, as the kids say today, “thirsty.” And ewww! That’s not a good look at all! Cringe is what it is!

Therefore, these fakers only lose respect for you and no longer take you seriously. Even worse, if you get tired of the abuse again and walk away a second time, they’ll only look at each other and say, “She’ll be back. She just needs time to cool off.”

There’s a reason for the old saying, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” I’m all for giving second chances, don’t get me wrong. Why?

Because people screw up from time to time. However, you should use judgement when doing so. Who is it that you’re giving the chance to?

And have they blown any chances you’ve given in the past? This is very important!

Don’t Give Chances to Those Who Only Abuse Them

Again, second chances are fine. Just make sure you don’t end up giving them a third chance, fourth chance, and so on. Moreover, realize that there are instances when even a second chance isn’t deserved.

Why? Because there are some things you just can’t come back from. So, if you decide to give another chance, make this your rule of thumb.

Walking Away from Fake Friends:

**The Second Chance is the last chance!**

The second chance is always the last chance. If they blow that chance, that’s it and it’s on them.

When it comes to situations such as this, you must stick to your guns. Otherwise, your fake friends, your bullies, and others who are around to see it will only use you as a cat toy.

Therefore, when you get rid of imposters, do it and mean it! Do it with the presumption that you may have to wait a spell before better friends find you.

Then stick it out! Wouldn’t you rather be by yourself rather than with people who only use and abuse you?

If you’re going to be alone anyway, it might as well be for a damn good reason. Because nothing feels worse than being alone in a group!

So, the next time you get fed up with shabby treatment and decide to walk, don’t let loneliness cause you to go back to toxic assholes.

Be patient and wait it out! I promise you that better people will come along eventually. Dry spells don’t last forever.

If you hold true to yourself and stick it out, you will have better friends. And they will be people who are worth your time and consideration- people who deserve to have you in their lives.

Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Choose Quality over quantity

I have only a small circle of friends and associates and I like it that way. I’d much rather only five true friends than to have a million fake ones.

And the truth is that you can have millions of frenemies and fair-weather friends who don’t value you as much as you deserve to be valued and still be lonely. You are no better off than you’d be if you had no friends at all.

But you can have only one friend, two friends, three or five, true friends who genuinely love you, enjoy being around you, and have your back and never feel abandoned.

Quantity is always zero without quality.

You can own a hundred houses, but it does not mean you’re rich. If your hundred houses are all infested with termites, rats, and cockroaches; and about to fall apart, do you really have anything of value?

A hundred cars don’t make a dealership if they’re all old beaters that don’t run. No. What you have is a junkyard.

The same goes with the friends you keep around. You can have thousands of friends but if they all treat you like crap, never have your back, and bail out at the first sign of trouble, they aren’t worth a damn, and you should ditch and switch.

Pick friends who know your worth and who earn the privilege of being in your life.

Signs of Fake Friends

You must add value to yourself and that means that your time and your friendship must come at a cost. And that cost is reciprocation.

If a so-called friend constantly gives you shabby treatment, you must immediately withdraw your friendship. Tell that person to take a walk and to not even look back. That’s how you add value to yourself.

You must teach others how they should treat you.

I realize that it won’t be easy to walk away, especially if you endure bullying and your toxic, fake friends seem to be the only options you have.

Nobody wants to be lonely and friendless. However, wouldn’t you rather be by yourself than to be friends with a bunch of sorry pieces of shit who only let you down? I know I would!

Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Know your worth.

You must know your worth. Know that you deserve more than the crumbs you’ve been getting. Moreover, know that you can have true friends if you ditch these creeps.

Think of it like this: You’re getting rid of them to make room for the better friends you’re about to meet. I’m not saying that you won’t be friendless for a while because you just might be.

And, if you must wait, here are a few things you can do to lift your spirits while you wait:

Dive into your hobbies.
Spend time with family and friends.
Do the things you enjoy doing.
Exercise.
Treat yourself to a pampering session- get a spa treatment, go on a trip to the beach, etc.

There are so many things you can do that will put a smile on your face. Only you know what they are. Self-care is so important during times like these.

But I promise you. You will meet better people and you will make better friends. And once you do, they will be worth the wait! Don’t you think you’re worth it? I do.

And always remember. Quality over quantity!

Signs of Fake Friends and what you should do

Nefarious people are experts at hiding their evil. And they do it under the cover of concern and love. Bullies and fake friends are such people. However, it can be difficult to spotlight them.

After they’ve harmed you, you’re often left shocked and bewildered.

Fortunately, there are signs you can look for if you know what they are. Here’s what you can do to spot frenemies, fakes, and undercover bullies.

1. Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Always observe the people around you.

But do it without looking like you’re watching, of course. Use your peripheral vision to scan them and your environment.

Once you do this, you’ll quickly pick up on their moods and sense the elephant in the room (if there is one).

2. Look for body language that isn’t congruent with words and context.

Actions speak louder than words. If their body language isn’t congruent with words, background, or the situation and shows even a hint of hostility and discomfort when they’re around you, then “Houston, we have a problem.”

3. Watch for micro flashes.

If you’re not careful, you’re likely to miss those tiny, split-second micro flashes of contempt people give without realizing it or when they think you aren’t aware of it. There are good actors; don’t get me wrong.

However, there are certain things the body gives away involuntarily. And, if you look for it, you’ll see it.

When you’re around fake friends, sometimes, as you turn your back, you’ll see a tiny micro flash of contempt on their faces out of the corner of your eye. Then, you’ll get that nagging feeling in the pit of your gut.

Don’t ignore that because you aren’t only imagining things! Eighty-six these creeps fast!

4. Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Notice the person’s feet

You can tell a lot by the feet! If the person is talking to you, facing you, but their feet are pointing away from you, that means they aren’t as “with you” as you think.

Put some distance between you and that person.

5. Watch for crossed arms while talking to the person.

If you’re having a conversation with the person and they cross their arms over their chest, that’s a dead giveaway! They’re exhibiting closed body language. And, they’re closing themselves off to anything you have to say.

Therefore, it’s time to make an excuse to end the tete-a-tete and walk away. You don’t want this person around you.

6. Looking at you without blinking.

If they do this, it’s a sure sign of contempt, or they’re trying to intimidate you. Either way, this person is not the person you want to be around.

7. Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Here are other signs you should look for.

If you notice a furrowed brow or one corner of the lip slightly raised, it’s time to ditch this person. Also, if you see an icy, piercing stare, or they’re smiling at you with their mouth but not the eyes (no crinkles around the eyes), it’s a bad sign.

Therefore, you might want to distance yourself.

8. What if they look at you, then look at each other when you walk away?

It’s a red flag. Therefore, you want nothing more to do with these people.

9. Watch what you share

Very important! Don’t tell anyone anything they don’t need to know. Not even to those who seem friendly.

In other words, don’t reveal information that’s better off private. And, don’t badmouth anybody, especially the bullies, to anyone.

Fakers may smile in your face, but you can be sure they’ll report back to the bullies with anything you say and try to fan the flames.

10. Watch for eavesdroppers.

If you have an innocent conversation with someone in the hall, be on the lookout for eavesdroppers. Don’t talk near corners or open doors.

Why? Because, many times, people will listen in on your discussion, then report back to the bullies with it. Pay attention to people who walk by.

And if you see other people standing around while you’re speaking and those people aren’t a part of the conversation, take the discussion to a place more private. And, be sure you aren’t being followed.

In order to protect yourself, you must keep your eyes and ears peeled and be an avid people-watcher. Only when you pay attention to other people, will you be able to see behind the masks bullies and fake friends wear.

Here are other ways you can spot fake friends.

This post is all about walking away from fake friends so that you can know when to do it and do it with confidence and without feeling guilty.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Fake Friend: 11 Easy Ways to Spot One with Bad Intentions

2. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You

3. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

4. 10 Signs of a Toxic Friendship (And How to Cut Ties)

when bullying gets out of control at school

When Bullying Gets Out of Control: 5 Signs You’re in Danger

June 5, 2025June 18, 20255 Comments

‘What happens when bullying gets out of control? Here are all the signs that you’re in danger.

When bullying reaches new levels, it can feel as if the abuse has taken on a life of it’s own. This is when things become dangerous really fast.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what to look for when bullying gets out of control.

Once you learn all about these signs and symptoms, you will be compelled to make the appropriate decisions to get out of the situation.

This post is all about what happens when bullying gets out of control so that you can take the necessary steps to ensure your safety.

When Bullying Gets Out of Control

When bullies select a victim to abuse, their bullying tends to escalate quickly. Moreover, it can last for years. In fact, others may join in. After so long, people grow comfortable with abusing you. Therefore, bullying becomes a natural occurrence.

When this happens, bullying can become unstoppable no matter what you do to defend yourself. Moreover, things can become dangerous, even life-threatening if you aren’t aware of the signs.

Here are all the signs that the bullying you suffer has reached dangerous levels.

1. Your Bullies Become Brazen

You’ll notice that your bullies getting cocky. They’ll do their bullying out in the open, for everyone to see.

In fact, they’ll no longer try to hide it. Why? Because they fear no consequences.

Those in positions of power won’t stop the bullying. They have no intentions of protecting you. Therefore, there’s little chance they’ll hold the bullies responsible for their behavior.

Make no mistake! When your bullies bully you in plain sight, in front of peers and authority, it’s a bad sign.

It means that you’re in grave danger. Why? Because, when the abuse reaches this level, there’s no limit to the brutality your bullies will inflict.

When bullying gets out of control, there’s no incentive to stop. Then Bullies quickly become full of themselves.

It’s the same with criminals. When there’s no accountability for wrongdoing, it only emboldens them to do more of it.

And their arrogance only sends these unspoken messages:

“We can do whatever we want and there’s nothing you can do.”
“Who’s going to stop us?”
“Who’s going to help you. You’re ours now.”

Most bullies would stop if they thought someone would hold them accountable. Or, they’d at least try to hide their behavior.

No one wants to have to answer for anything. Moreover, they don’t want the shame and humiliation that comes with it.

Therefore, they either wouldn’t do the bad deeds at all, or they would do their dirt behind closed doors.

Lack of accountability only emboldens bad people.

On the other hand, once a bully has gotten away with it a few times, they catch on that there are no consequences. They get the message that what they’re doing is okay.

Therefore, they have no shame in continuing the behavior.

And once there’s complete impunity, it’s no holds barred. In other words, your bullies are unrestrained in what they could do to you.

So, if you’re a target of bullying, you’re shit out of luck.

it sets a precedent.

It sets a bad standard for people who wouldn’t normally mistreat another person. In that, it encourages them to jump on the bandwagon and bully you too.

Why? Because bystanders notice the bullies getting away with abusing you. Therefore, they’ll think it’s okay to bully you. In fact, they’ll think that it’s the in-thing to do. So, they’ll be more than happy to join in on the torment.

It’s the science of group behavior.

2. When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

Others become Outraged when you stand up for yourself.

When you defend yourself against a bully’s attacks or demands, bullies will often retaliate. Anytime you stand up to bullies, they will often try to get back at you for it. Even bystanders will be pissed at you.

In fact, they either won’t help you or they join in.

Why do bullies become angry when you defend yourself? Because you put them in a weaker position and threaten their power.

Understand that bullies are entitled little twits. They need gratification and satisfaction, and when you refuse to give it to them, they will resent you and desire to punish you for it.

Moreover, it will offend others as well.

Why? Because, once bullying you has become the norm, it’s gone on for a long time. People have grown comfortable with seeing bullies abuse you.

And once people get comfortable with something, they resist anyone that tries to change it.

3. People Believe anything bad about you, no matter how ridiculous the lie may sound.

If you suffer bullying, you’ve probably had bullies tell the most outrageous and ridiculous lies about you. Moreover, the lies may be laughable at best.

And shockingly, everyone in the place will probably believe it! It will seem as if everyone around you is smoking crack.

Why? Because you’ll wonder how they can believe such tripe!

People will believe the big, outlandish lies before they accept the little white lies. For example, others might hear something huge and horrible about a certain person from someone they trust.

Maybe it comes from someone who has a little bit of power. They may feel shock and disbelief at first. However, they’ll eventually believe it.

But, why do they believe it? It’s because the penalty for severe wrongdoing is so big that people don’t want to think that anyone would tell such a big fat lie about someone if there isn’t some truth to it.

When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

IF someone is audacious enough to tell such a bold lie, we’re more likely to believe it.

We cling to the belief that if a person is audacious enough to make such an accusation about another person, then somewhere, there must be evidence to back it up.

Otherwise, they wouldn’t dare make such bold accusations and risk someone proving them wrong!

So, we hold on to the idea that where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Moreover, we allow caution and speculation to supersede any logic. And if we expect trouble to come from a specific place, that’s where we’re going to look.

And when we look for a specific thing, we usually find it.

Also, if a lie goes against the target’s character, we’re more likely to believe it. Why? Because any story of hypocrisy has a certain amount of shock value and entertainment to it. That is, as long as the story is about someone else and not us.

We’re more prone to believe a big fat lie because it frightens the crap out of us. Therefore, when people hear a lie so big and outrageous about you, it makes them wonder if they ever really knew you at all.

And the idea that someone they know could do such a horrible thing scares people to death.

4. You will be emotional and people will weaponize it.

Understand that anytime you suffer bullying, you’re at your absolute worst! Anyone would be a total emotional wreck under that kind of pressure.

Anytime a person is bullied by everyone, it doesn’t matter how strong they are. Moreover, it doesn’t matter how brave, how beautiful, nor how awesome their personalities are.

The bullying will eventually exhaust them and take them down.

In other words, if enough people bully you for long enough, you’ll only be able to withstand it for so long. Why? Because you’re only human. And no human being can hold up under that kind of stress for long.

Bullies instinctively know this. Therefore, if they’re determined to break you, they’ll increase the abuse until they get the outcome they want.

You will be overwhelmed with so many emotions. In fact, you’ll have paranoia. And, with good reason!

Therefore, they’ll twist it and make you look unstable.

And, why not? They’ve seen you morph from a cheerful person to a stressed out, hot mess of a train wreck who’s barely able to function.

5. When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

No One Will Help you.

If you’re a kid that other kids bully in school, you know that schools are supposed to protect children. Moreover, some schools do help targets of bullying.

I’ve read quite a few stories with this happy ending. And to those schools, I extend my love and respect.

However, I’ve also read and heard stories in which the school either failed or refused to help the victim. They only sided with the bullies.

I also found this out years ago from experience. Sadly, this ending is much more common than the first.

Therefore, if you are an object of bullying at your school, do take the proper channels to address the problem. Report the bullying to the teacher, principal, or district.

However, if the school does nothing about it, sweeps it under the rug, or worse, blames you, don’t let it surprise you. And don’t let it shock you if you face retaliation not only from the bullies but from school staff as well.

In most cases, schools side with bullies.

Understand that in these cases where the school doesn’t act on your behalf, it is because the school district has their own interests in mind.

Many schools only care about their sports programs. They care about how many points an athlete can score for their team and getting their teams into the playoffs.

Also, they care about how many kids they can send to colleges.

Another thing to consider is that school bullies likely have connections with several local politicians and other high-ranking officials. Also, many bullies excel academically.

Or, they may be are star athletes. Therefore, they make the school look good.

And if a student makes a school look good, why would they hold them accountable for bullying some throw-away kid?

Seasoned bullies also tend to be exceptionally socially intelligent. In other words, they know how to ingratiate themselves into the good graces of teachers and school staff.

Moreover, they’re also wordsmiths who talk a good game. They’re experts at feigning victimhood when you report them. They’re also good at explaining everything away, and rationalizing their bad behavior.

What they’re best at is making you look like the bully. Therefore, you must thing of these things when the school fails to respond to your pleas for help.

This is why you must do your own investigations and gather your own evidence. You must document each bullying incident to the letter and record it if the laws in your area allow.

But don’t give up. Remember. You are worth fighting for!

This post is all about what happens when bullying gets out of control and how to recognize it so that you can can the appropriate steps needed to ensure your safety.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Stop Victim Blaming: 8 Reasons People Blame Targets for Bullying

2. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

3. Bystanders to Bullying: 5 Reasons They Join In.

4. Deliberate Indifference: 7 Reasons Bystanders Won’t Help Victims

Gatekeeper Bullying: 10 Ways Bullies Act as Gatekeepers

June 4, 2025June 18, 20253 Comments

Want to know about gatekeeper bullying? Here are all the ways bullies act as gatekeepers.

Gatekeepers are those who allow only certain people in and keep others out.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about gatekeeper bullying so that you can recognize it when it happens to you.

Once you learn about this sneaky form of bullying, you will be able to find ways to skirt around the gatekeeper and protect yourself.

This post is all about gatekeeper bullying to give you the signs you need to recognize.

Gatekeeper Bullying

This kind of bullying occurs mainly in the workplace. However, it can happen anywhere, at school, in the neighborhood, or even in the family.

Before we get into this topic, let’s find out what gatekeeping is. Therefore, what is gatekeeping? It is the act of taking control over resources, time, materials, information and chance opportunities.

Again, gatekeeper bullying happens mostly in the workforce. However, it can happen anywhere. Gatekeepers can be individuals or groups. They’re the type of bullies who specialize in letting only certain people in and keep others out of the loop.

As a result, they limit the choices and opportunities of those they deem unworthy and give them all to others. Therefore, understand that gatekeeping is a form of bullying.

Why? Because it’s specifically designed to leave out people the gatekeeper either hates or doesn’t like.

Here are all the ways bullies act as gatekeepers.

Gatekeepers are passive bullies.

Why are they passive? Because they aren’t out there, actively doing things to make their victims’ lives hell. In fact, they don’t have to do anything at all.

The problem is not what they do, it’s what they don’t do. These bullies are passive because they take a more indirect approach. Therefore, they’re much harder to detect.

While other bullies are out there, actively doing bad things to ruin their targets’ lives, gatekeepers do their dirt on the sly.

This is what makes gatekeeper bullying so hard to prove.

The weapons this type of bully uses are their talents, resources, time, materials, and their access to information. Therefore, they have the power to either withhold those things or use them as leverage against you. Also, they have the power to control deadlines.

In doing these things to the people they can’t stand, they create undo stress for them. So, what tactics do these people use against you?

1. Gatekeeper Bullying:

They Withhold resources.

These resources could be money or material like paper and ink cartridges for the printer. ‘You see? Gatekeepers like to bully those who are bold, resourceful, innovative, and creative. And if you’re that type, look out!

Why? Because you threaten them. Therefore, these bullies will withhold resources just to slow you down. And when you ask them where the materials are? They’ll only sweetly reply that they either can’t find them or that they’re running low.

Therefore, they’ll make plausible excuses.

But see this for what it is and the goal behind it. They do this to sabotage you on the job. And it’s designed to make you look incompetent or that you just don’t give a crap.

Without the tools to do your job, you appear to be a bad employee. And, who’s going to believe you when you tell them that Sally didn’t give you the supplies you needed to do your assignment?

If nothing else, know this! These bullies have a vested interest in keeping you out of the loop.

2. Controlling Your Access to Accurate Information.

This person will control your ability to have the information you need to complete a task. They’ll do this by either completely withholding it or only giving you bits and pieces of it.

For instance, they might give you a five-step process to an assignment when the job requires ten steps to complete.

Also, if there’s a company meeting that starts at eight o’clock, the gatekeeper may tell you that the meeting starts at eight-fifteen.

They may even “accidentally” forget to tell you about a mandatory Zoom call. Gatekeepers may also discourage others from helping you out.

And you won’t think to question it because this person has probably worked with the company longer than you have. Therefore, you’re likely to trust them.

Even if you don’t, who’s going to believe you when you tell them that Kathy gave you the wrong information?

You must know the intentions behind it. And the gatekeeper’s objective is to make you look like you can’t do your job.

3. Gatekeeper Bullying:

Giving Unrealistic Deadlines.

For example, these types of bully bosses may give you deadlines that are impossible to reach. Moreover, they might pile so much work on you that you don’t have a chance in hell of getting it done in time.

And, are you likely to question the boss? Would you have the guts to tell him that there’s no way you can make that deadline or complete all that work in time?

And if you did, what do you think the boss would say? He’d likely hit you with a barrage of gaslighting.

Make no mistake! Your boss really doesn’t want you to make that due date. He wants you to fail. Why? Because it makes you look bad.

4. Controlling Opportunities.

This bully will block any chances of advancement. For instance, you may be up for a well-deserved promotion and get passed over. Instead, they may give it to someone who isn’t qualified.

In fact, they’ll give it to anyone who isn’t you. Why? Because if they gave it to you, they would have to admit that you’re damn good at your job.

And when you’re good at your job, you outshine them. Therefore, in order for the boss to look like he’s better than you, he has to make you look like crap.

5. Gatekeeper bullying:

Controlling Your Life-Chances.

These bullies might throw a monkey wrench in your life-chances. So, what are life chances?

According to EBSCO Research Starters, they “refer to the probabilities of opportunities to individuals in society, influencing their potential for success and upward mobility.

Gatekeepers love to control your life chances and keep you stuck. Why? Because it gives them a rush of power. Also, it keeps them on top.

So, how do they do it? They do it by giving a potential employer a bad reference when you leave the toxic workplace.

Therefore, how do you protect yourself from an undeserved bad reference? You do it by just putting in your resignation, fulfilling the conditions of your two-weeks notice, and getting the hell out of Dodge!

Also, if possible, you don’t put them down as a reference. I know this sounds dishonest. However, if you quit a workplace you were bullied in, it’s never a good idea to even let on to a new company that you ever worked for them.

Because workplace bullies will find ways to block you from future employment if they get the opportunity to do so. Therefore, it’s best not to give them that chance.

6. Destroying Your Chances of Success.

This is what their shenanigans are all about. To keep you from having any successes. Again, the bully’s entire mission is to set you up to fail.

They trip you up, then stand back and smile as they watch you fall on your face. And they pat themselves on the back for a job well-done.

They’ve contained the threat and now they can breathe easier and work in peace, knowing that their little corner is safe again.

7. Gatekeeper Bullying:

Excluding you from meetings, classes, and workplace social functions.

These bullies will also conveniently forget to tell you about any meetings or social gatherings. Moreover, they’ll make sure no one else tells you either.

Why? They do it simply to make you feel like you don’t belong there. Also, they do it to make success feel like it’s out of reach.

8. Adding more steps than needed to do your job.

Bullies may tell you that your job requires more steps than it really does. Understand that they do this to slow you down.

Why? Because you just might make that deadline and upstage them. Trust me when I say this. These people will pull out all the stops to keep you from finishing tasks.

9. They distract you from your work.

Workplace bullies deliberately distract you from your projects with constant interruptions, which are time-consuming. Why? Because they know that if they can stall you, they may cause you to miss a deadline.

Moreover, they may call your office phone with constant memos and reminders. But realize that it’s all a ploy to throw you off your game.

10. Gatekeeper Bullying:

Giving you meaningless or degrading assignments.

Bully bosses will often take you off you regular work assignments and give you degrading or subservient jobs. For instance, they may select you to clean the office bathrooms.

Also, they may designate you to make coffee runs for everyone else. Or he may give you the task of serving coffee to the rest of the team.

You might even be tasked with emptying all the trash.

However, see this for what it is. He’s doing it to degrade you. In other words, he’s demoting you, only without making it official.

In closing

If you recognize three or more of these signs and they occur repeatedly, it might be time to quietly begin looking for new employment.

You won’t to create an exit plan early in the game. Why? So that you can get out before the bullying has time to do any lasting damage to your mental health.

You must do what you can to protect yourself.

This post is all about gatekeeper bullying on the job so that you can recognize it when it happens to you, cut your losses, and quietly find new employment.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For

2. What Not to Share at Work When You Suffer Workplace Bullying

3. Mobbing in the Workplace: How it Progresses, Step-by-Step

How to Stop a Bully: 9 Powerful Hacks You Can Use

June 3, 2025May 26, 20257 Comments

‘Want to know how to stop a bully? Here are the mind hacks you need to know about.

If you don’t learn the tricks to stop them in their tracks, bullies will continue to steamroll you until you have no self-esteem left.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to stop a bully by using clever mind hacks almost no one thinks about.

Once you learn all about these mental tips and tricks, you will be better able to more confidently counter bullies each time they attack.

This post is all about how to stop a bully so that you can spare your self-esteem and dignity from being raked over the coals.

How to Stop a Bully

To stop a bully from bullying you doesn’t only take physical strength. It takes a lot of mental power as well. Remember that bullies are mostly bluff.

To call their bluff, you must know what to expect and be ready for it. Therefore, before we get into the hacks, let’s first talk about the reactions you should expect from your bully and where it comes from.

7 Things That Happen When You Call a Bully’s Bluff

When you finally stand up to a bully and call out their abuse, these are the reactions you should expect.

1. They’ll try to avoid the subject.

They’ll change the subject to an irrelevant topic. Moreover, they’ll do it while appearing to be busy doing a task. Females are notorious for this trick.

2. They’ll become irate and go on a tirade.

They may even yell and curse at you. They may turn it back on you and accuse you of having paranoia. Moreover, they may call you mentally unstable, a crybaby, or any other label that discredits you.

However, realize that anyone who becomes this defensive only looks desperate and afraid. Know that this is just another dead giveaway.

Why? Because most bullies get highly defensive when they’re afraid they’re busted. They will get loud. They will scream, yell, and pound their fists, curse, and swear when they fear exposure.

However, don’t let this scare you because the dramatics and theatrics they display only mean that the bullies are desperate!

3. How to Stop a Bully:

They will lay guilt trips on you.

For instance, if a fake friend is stabbing you in the back and you call them out on it, you’re likely to hear the following.

“Well, if you were my friend, you wouldn’t believe XYZ”

“If you were a true friend to me, you wouldn’t even question my loyalty.”

Don’t buy that garbage. The person is just trying to make you feel guilty. Or they’re trying to intimidate you into silence.

If your so-called friend was the only person you told any secrets to, then you can bet that they’re guilty. Moreover, if enough people tell you that the person is saying things behind your back, they’re likely telling the truth.

4. They will escalate the harassment.

Bullies do this to either punish you or intimidate you and shut you down. Again, understand that the bully is afraid of being exposed and facing accountability.

Moreover, they fear losing face. So, your bully will stop at nothing to silence you.

5. They will justify themselves.

“If you didn’t always make trouble, I wouldn’t have had to hurt you!”
“If you weren’t so ditzy, I wouldn’t give you such a hard time!”
“You made me do it because you always do this when you should do that!”
“If you would just do this, I wouldn’t have to do that!”
“You won’t shut up, so you deserve it!”

Again, don’t believe a word of it! Continue calling them out. You must protect yourself by speaking just as loud and with just as much conviction as the bully.

Therefore, make plenty of noise because the wheel that squeaks loudest gets the grease!

6. How to Stop a Bully:

The bully will slander you.

Again, understand that this bully is afraid of being exposed. Therefore, they spread rumors and lies to discredit you.

Also, they do it to distract others from their appalling behavior by making you look bad. ‘You see?If the bully can make you look bad and turn everyone else against you, they reap several benefits.

The bully can intimidate you into silence and avoid any future risks of exposure.
They can discredit you.
The bully can make themselves look like the victim and gain sympathy from other people.
They can successfully cut you off from any support you might otherwise receive.
The bully gets the green light to bully you again later.
They get to move up the social ladder and win more friends and allies.
The bully gets the satisfaction of maintaining power, domination, and control over you.

Like the old quote goes, “Accuse the other side of that which you are guilty.”

Slander is designed to protect bullies from being exposed and shift blame onto you. People have used this tactic since the beginning of time!

So, don’t shut up no matter what! Continue to call out the bullies’ behavior!

**7. They’ll stop talking to you and begin talking about you.**

If you have a bully who’s a fake friend and you bust them, they’ll stop talking to you. However, once they quit talking to you, they’ll talk about you to justify themselves to others.

Here is what they’ll likely tell them.

“She’s unstable.”
“He’s just mad because I called him out!”
“She’s so fake.”
“She’s too sensitive.”
“She doesn’t want to admit when she’s wrong.”
“I was just trying to help them.”
“She’s just jealous of me because… ”

Again, this person is exposing themselves through their behavior. Therefore, see this as a giveaway and have no more to do with them.

How to Stop a Bully:

Here are all the hacks you can use.

1. See your bullies’ most vicious attacks as a sign of fear and desperation.

Have you ever wondered why bullies are so aggressive with you when they could care less about you? When someone doesn’t care a lick about you, they show no emotion, positive or negative. In other words, they’re indifferent.

However, when the bully is aggressive, it shows that they are bothered by something about you. It could be something you said, did, or conveyed. In fact, it may be your very presence that bothers the person.

Whatever the case may be, there’s something about you that’s motivating the attacks. However, realize this.

It’s not that they care one iota about you. What they do care about is the possibility of your taking your power back from them. The bully is also afraid of you becoming independent of their opinions of you.

Most bullies go into panic mode when you stand up to them. Moreover, they really lose it when you stand up to them confidently.

This is because your bullies are scared to death that they’re losing power over you. Any time you call a bully’s bluff, you automatically put them in the weaker position.

Bullies know this and it drives them batty!

2. How to Stop a Bully:

Maintain a healthy and positive sense of self.

Don’t lose sight of your worth. Find ways to maintain your confidence. And, how you do this is to know what motivates your bully to attack you.

Knowing why your bullies do what they do is the best way to preserve a healthy self-esteem when you’re under siege.

3. Refuse to accept your bullies’ definition of you.

And this goes no matter how powerful or influential they may seem. After all, they’re only people just like you.

To accept someone else’s definition of you, you must first discard your own. When you allow bullies to dictate your inner reality, you lose bits and pieces of yourself.

Also, little by little, you lose the awareness of your emotions each time you allow them to do it. Then, you eventually grow numb.

Many targets fall for the garbage bullies feed them because there’s more to countering the attacks than words or fists. It also takes mind power.

Therefore, never let anyone else define you. Stop caring what people think.

Bullies may think they know you and they may attempt to define who you are. But only you know the definition of who you are.

By trying to tell you who you are, your bullies attempt to force you to replace your definition of yourself with theirs. Moreover, they try to play God.

So, stop allowing your bullies fool you into thinking that they know you better than you know yourself.

4. How to Stop a Bully:

Stand up to bullies, even if you’re afraid to.

When a bully tries to tell you what you are, you can stand with confidence and say, “No, I’m not. You are.” Then, you can walk away with more pride in yourself because you stood up to them.

Moreover, if the bully challenges you to a fist fight, don’t back down. There’s nothing wrong with hitting back if someone strikes you first.

Even if someone doesn’t hit you and gets in your face, you must assume that they’re getting ready to physically attack you. In this situation, offense is the best defense.

Knock the ever-loving hell out of them.

5. Have a clear vision of your value as a human being.

Know beyond a shadow of a doubt who you are and that you’re a great person who doesn’t deserve shabby treatment.

This means having a crystal-clear understanding of who you are. Moreover, it means know what you will and will not put up with.

6. Keep company only with strong people who are positive influences in your life.

Only associate with people who consistently validate and affirm your positive qualities. Keep company with those who know the good you bring to this world.

On the other hand, refuse to have anything to do with those who are toxic. Any time someone makes you feel bad, walk away and stay away.

It’s okay to be selective in who you let into your life. This is how you protect your mental health from unsavory people.

7. How to Stop a Bully:

Hold onto your principles and convictions.

Hold onto your standards. Moreover, stand up for your beliefs, and convictions. Be true to yourself and follow your heart. And do it boldly and confidently.

Don’t be afraid to think critically. In short, have the courage to be different.

This is how you protect your mind from bullies. Your mind and your thoughts are free! Keep them that way!

8. Trust your gut.

Listen to your gut feeling because it will always tell you the truth. Therefore, if something doesn’t feel good, your gut will tell you.

Remember that the sensations of the body never lie. And when something feels off about a person, move away from them.

This is one of the ways you protect yourself from bullies.

9. Set and enforce your boundaries.

This goes back to number four. Set your boundaries. Then, enforce those boundaries if a bully ever crosses them.

If a bully verbally attacks you, don’t ignore it. Counter that attack with a good burn so that the bully thinks twice before messing with you again.

And if they physically attack you, haul off and knock them on their ass.

However, staying strong physically is only part of the battle. Maintaining a strong mind is the very foundation of self-defense and protection. Put them together and you’ll be able to stop a bully from ever bullying you again.

This post is all about how to stop a bully and all the ways to do it so that you can protect your self-esteem and live in peace.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Stop a Bully from Bullying You: 7 Powerful Strategies

2. Raising Self-Esteem: 5 Easy Mind Hacks that Help

3. When You Stop Caring: 9 Positive Results You’ll See

The Impacts of Bullying: 10 Negative Outcomes on Victims

June 2, 2025May 21, 20256 Comments

‘Want to know the impacts of bullying on your life? Here are all the negative outcomes you’ll face if you aren’t careful.

It’s true that bullying undermines your confidence. However, the impacts go much deeper.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the impacts of bullying that you probably haven’t thought about and other reasons it’s important that you protect yourself against bullies.

Once you learn all the deeper issues it causes, you will be more compelled to guard your mental health against bullies.

This post is all about the impacts of bullying and all the deeper issues it causes so that you can beware and be aware.

The Impacts of Bullying

Although bullying can crush your self-esteem and instill fear into you. The consequence go much deeper. It can actually rewire your brain, therefore brainwashing you in nefarious ways.

Here are all the other negative things bullying does to your mental health.

1. Bullying Conditions You to accept Bigger and More Severe Abuses.

Bullies start with subtle attacks. In fact, the assaults are so subtle that if you don’t watch out, you won’t even notice it. This is called gradualism and incrementalism.

In other words, bullies begin by taking teeny-weeny bites out of your self-esteem. It happens drop by drop. They take it up ever so slowly, step by itsy-bitsy step.

Again, they escalate their bullying so slowly and so tiny that it isn’t noticeable. However, you may feel that something is off when you interact with these people.

You may notice that something doesn’t feel too good but you can’t quite put a finger on it. It’s that subtle!

But here’s your first clue.

The Impacts of Bullying:

Your body will know if you pay attention to it.

When you meet your bullies for the first time, you will pick up some pretty creepy vibes from them. Moreover, you’ll feel it in the pit of your stomach.

You’ll sense something about these creeps that feels “off.” And sometimes, you’ll feel it before the first words are exchanged.

You’ll sense your bullies watching your every move. They’ll scope you out, studying you like a specimen.

You may look up from whatever you’re doing or turn around and happen to see them of the corner of your eye. These people will be eyeing you from a distance.

Then you,ll see them look at each other and smirk. And you’ll notice that eerie twinkle in their eyes. You might even see a micro-flash or two of contempt.

Don’t ignore this!

Understand that these bullies are sizing you up. In other words, they’re probing you to see how you respond.

If you respond the way they want you too, your bullies will start committing slightly bigger violations. Understand that bullies do this deliberately. They do it to soften you up by making the abuse virtually unrecognizable.

They will continue to take the abuse up little by little until it’s no longer unrecognizable.

By the time it’s recognizable, the abuse may be so severe that everyone around you sees it too. When you begin defending yourself, your bullies and everyone else will likely gaslight you.

Moreover, the bullying will be so out of control that the bullies can no longer help themselves. In fact, they won’t even try to hide it anymore.

At this point, why would they hide it?

Why put in the work to hide something you’ve gotten away with for so long? When there’s no incentive to stop, they can bully you out in the open. Right?

By the time the abuse becomes obvious, it’s usually too late. Why? Because everyone has grown accustomed to bullying you. In fact, they’ve gotten completely comfortable with it.

And once people have grown accustomed to harming you, it’s almost impossible to get them to leave you alone. And this goes no matter what you do to protect yourself.

Therefore, when you finally get fed up and begin asserting your boundaries, they’ll only ignore you and keep right on abusing you. Through their actions, they’ll implicitly communicate that they don’t give a damn about your feelings or your pain.

Your bullies and everyone else will only see you as their victim. And they’ll damn well make sure you to stay that way.

2. The Impacts of Bullying:

People grow comfortable bullying and abusing you.

And why not? They’ve been getting a huge, psychological payoff from it. And hell will freeze over before they give up those benefits.

At this stage, your bullies will only respond with anger and resentment when you finally stand up to them. They will be like, “How DARE you! How dare you take away our fun!”

Therefore, bullies get offended when someone they deem inferior finally grows a spine. And they’ll do everything they can to break it! All to keep getting their sick, sadistic jollies!

Again, the conditioning starts small. You must know how to recognize bullying when it first begins. Why? Because, the longer it goes on, the bigger the abuses get.

Moreover, the harder it is for you to defend yourself and put a stop to it.

Again, to recognize bullying in the early stages, you must listen to your body. Why? Because your body will feel it. You’ll sense it in the vibes bullies put out. So, pay attention!

3. It Diminishes Your Ability to Trust Yourself.

Why? Because bullies constantly attack your judgement, decisions, and feelings. Moreover, bystanders may also negate and condemn them.

Therefore, when people bully you, they teach you that, you have no right to be angry or sad because you deserve the abuse. And bullies are experts at blaming you for the bullying you suffer.

The impacts of bullying run much deeper than you realize.

4. The Impacts of bullying:

It forces you to take blame for the abuse.

You may be conditioned by bullies and bystanders. Moreover, people in authority, friends, and family may also condition you.

They may demand that you suck it up and negate your own painful feelings. In that, they’ll train you to deny that they’re abusing you.

Your bullies and their minions will train you to believe that other people’s vile behavior is your fault. Also, they’ll try to make you believe that something is wrong with you.

They’ll make statements, such as, “If you weren’t such a troublemaker, people wouldn’t mess with you all the time!” Your bullies will also snooker you into thinking that everything that goes wrong is because of you.

In short, your bullies will claim that their abuse is somehow justified.

5. You withdraw from people.

As a result, you may withdraw. Why? Because you’ll fear attracting bullies and bullying behavior from the people around you.

Bullies will make you believe:

That you take things wrong.
You’re too sensitive.
That you had it coming.
That there’s something wrong with the way you are.
There’s something wrong with the way you express yourself.
There’s something wrong with the way you come across to people.

6. The Impacts of Bullying:

You stop believing in yourself.

In short, you stop believing in yourself. Even worse, you lose trust in yourself. You begin doubting your abilities, and capabilities. And once this happens, you become a perfect victim for more bullies.

Bullying doesn’t only attack your physical body, but also your psyche and emotional well-being. It breaks your spirit and your very soul. Therefore, the impacts of it can be devastating!

Being a target of bullying is a hell that no one who hasn’t been there can possibly comprehend. When you’re bullied, you’re in the fight of your life.

Moreover, you fight for your life!

Fighting for your life can mean fighting for your personal power and dignity. It can mean fighting to keep your confidence and self-esteem. Also, it can mean making sure the abuse doesn’t affect your performance at school or work.

You’re fighting to make sure that it doesn’t negatively impact your ability to make smart decisions and life-choices. And you’re fighting to maintain your health and your sanity. Ultimately, you’re fighting to keep the abuse from effecting your entire future.

Why? Because you know that if you allow them to break you, you give them power over your life. You may not end up dead, but you won’t really live. You’ll only exist.

7. Bullying Negatively Affects Your School or Work Performance.

Bullying puts you in survival mode. This can have a devastating effect on grades and performance.

Anytime you are a victim of bullying, bullies forcibly put you on constant alert for an attack. It’s as if you have a target on your back and you must grow eyes in the back of your head.

You become hyper-vigilant. This only breeds anxiety and leads to exhaustion. Not only is your body tire, but also your mind.

When you need to focus on survival, safety takes priority over school lessons and work performance. How can one concentrate when they’re constantly bombarded with threats, taunts, name-calling, and physical violence?

How can a person work or learn effectively when they’re stuck in fight-or-flight mode? It’s almost impossible!

When you’re in survival mode over a long period of time, the overabundance of cortisol will cause your memory to atrophy. Moreover, it will effect your emotional regulation and ability to maintain positive relationships.

Therefore, should it be any wonder that the majority of victims of bullying have such poor school grades and work performance?

8. The impacts of Bullying:

It causes learned helplessness.

After people have berated you for so long, you begin to believe it yourself. And because it shows up in your every day performance, you simply stop trying altogether.

In conclusion, bullying can impact ALL areas of your life.

9. It Stunts Your Social Development.

Although social intelligence won’t necessarily keep you from becoming a target of bullying, it will most certainly lessen your chances of it.

Social intelligence always has and always will supersede book-smarts. It will get you much further than college degrees, awards, and credentials alone.

It’s the reason high school dropouts have become millionaires. It is also why many college graduates have ended up flipping burgers at McDonald’s.

Social intelligence is THE most important quality you can have. It’s the highest paid skill and most important asset in the entire universe.

Luckily, Social Intelligence can be taught!

In the past, people thought that social intelligence was the one skill that could never be taught. They believed that you were either born with it, or you weren’t. And if you weren’t, it was something that you had to accept.

Thankfully, we now know differently.

Sadly, if you’re a target of bullying, the abuse you suffer can batter your self-esteem into oblivion. As a result, you withdraw from the rest of the world.

When you’ve been bullied for so long, you come to believe that you’re inferior to everyone else. You’re afraid to talk, afraid to mix and mingle, afraid of any social situations.

10. The impacts of bullying:

You creative a fantasy world to live in.

In other words, you retreat into yourself and live inside your own head. You create a fantasy world, where you feel safe, wanted, and loved.

In other words, you create a world of imaginary people who accept you.

As a result, you shut out the “real world” and live in this fantasy world- this safe haven you’ve created. However, this is not good because, when this happens, you stop watching people and the world around you.

Also, you stop learning the social graces and nuances that you need to know in order to nurture relationships. And, before you know it, you become socially awkward.

You become too quiet, shy, and reserved. Moreover, you look through people instead of at them.

Instead of smiling and saying hello, you pass others by without saying a word to them.

Also, you become sullen and spaced out instead of upbeat and engaging. You feel numb instead of the emotions you should feel at different times.

In Closing:

This is why it’s important that you make a conscious effort to save your self-esteem. How you do it is to keep your heart open.

Therefore, meet new people and make friends outside the bullying environment. Create positive interactions and experiences away from your bullies or anyone else who knows you from the toxic place.

Do what you must do to keep your self-esteem intact and continue to grow your social intelligence.

No matter what happens, stay strong. Hold on as much of your confidence as possible. And most of all, know that none of the bullying you suffer has anything to do with you.

Let me assure you. There are people out there who care. Keep the faith, keep believing in yourself, and stand strong!

This post is all about the impacts of bullying so that you know what to watch for and begin taking care of your self-esteem.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

2. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You