bullying and mental health stigma among students

Bullying and Mental Health Stigma: 5 Reasons Bullies Use It

Bullying and mental health stigma are, sadly, close relatives. This is because the stigma on mental health can lead to bullying. Moreover, it’s the perfect weapon. Here’s why bullies and abusers use mental health as a weapon.

bullying and mental health stigma

You can be a victim of mental health stigma whether or not you have mental health issues. All it takes is for someone to claim that you have mental problems and your reputation will take a huge hit.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about bullying and mental health stigma. Moreover, you’ll learn why bullies weaponize this stigma so you recognize it for what it is and what it’s designed to do.

Once you learn all about this game-changing information, you will be able to call it out with confidence and protect yourself against it.

Bullying and Mental Health Stigma

Sadly, the mental health label has loads of staying power. Also, it’s the hardest to get rid of. It’s the most common form of gaslighting there is.

Do you ever wonder why most bullies attach labels, such as “unstable,” or “mentally disturbed” to targets who stand up against abuse?

Here are 5 reasons bullies stick you with the cr*zy label:

1. The cray-Cray label is a last option.

Bullies attack your sanity when they’ve run out of bad things to pin on you. Think about this. They can’t as easily label you a whore if you haven’t slept around.

Just the same, they can’t as easily label you a criminal if you don’t have a police record to prove it. And they can’t easily label you a thief if you never took anything that wasn’t yours.

Therefore, the mental illness label is the last option your bullies have.

2. A mental imbalance is the most difficult to disprove.

If you are a target of bullying, and you have the guts to stand up against the abuse, the bully may tell everyone that you’re nuts. Moreover, everyone else may believe it too.

However, the bully can’t prove that you are, in fact, cr*zy, there is also no way you can prove that you aren’t.

You may not even have any record of mental illness. But those records are protected by HIPAA. Therefore, again, you have no way of proving that you don’t have psychological issues.

So, it’s the most difficult to debunk.  In fact, it shouldn’t be this easy and be so successful. But it is.

3. Bullying and Mental Health Stigma:

People tend to see the worst in others.

Another reason the “cr*zy” label is just too easy to stick on anyone is because people have a strong tendency to see the worst in others.

Moreover, the burden of proof is on you. It is damn hard to prove that you aren’t mentally unstable, especially when bullies attack you from every direction and wear you down.

The natural human response is to react and defend yourself when attacked, and others can mistake it for mental illness.

It happens when people walk in on you as you’re telling your bullies where to stick it. Many times they only catch the tail end of the confrontation.

Then they draw the wrong conclusions. Understand that this is what your bullies are counting on. Often, they provoke you just to set you up to look like you’ve completely lost it.

Unfortunately, the label of mental instability is the easiest and most effective label to stick to a person. And the thing that makes it so difficult to disprove is the stress you’re likely under when your being bullied and mobbed.

4. Bullying tends to make you an emotional wreck.

Any target of bullying will be an emotional mess because of the chronic abuse they suffer. This is another reason the MH label is such a clever label for your bullies to pin on you.

‘You see? When bullies label you unstable, it doesn’t mean they actually think that you are.

Remember that bullies are big cowards. If they really and truly thought you were bonkers, they wouldn’t mess with you at all.

In, fact, they wouldn’t come near you. Instead, they would do everything they could to stay out of your way and avoid poking the bear.

They’d go out of their way to be on their best behavior around you. Why? Because they know that if a person is, in fact, a mental case, that person would tear their heads off. That person would go postal and wipe them all out, then go home and eat a sandwich.

If a person with any common sense knows someone who is factually batshit loony, their first instinct is to walk lightly around them. They’ll do their due diligence to keep from setting them off!

5. Bullying and Mental Health Stigma:

To discredit you.

Your bullies aren’t clueless. They know that eventually, you’re likely to get fed up with their crap. They figure that you’ll either report them or stand up to them.

Therefore, if everyone thinks you’re loony, who’s going to take you seriously when you report the bullying?

Understand that bullies do this all the time to discredit their victims and cover their behinds when they know they’re wrong!

Again, if your bullies can make you look like you just escape the nuthouse, then who’s going to believe you when you report them? And who’ll take you seriously the next time you let the bully have it?

They’ll only sigh and think, “Uh-oh! There she goes again! She’s having another mental episode! That girl has gone completely berserk!”

6. To make you afraid to speak out or stand up to them.

Again, just in case you begin standing your ground or speaking out about the abuse, bullies employ this tactic to keep you quiet. In that, they can save their own behinds.

If you know that people think you’re mentally unstable, chances are that you’re going to be too afraid to open your mouth. Why? Because you know that people probably won’t believe you.

They will only say that, because of your “mental instability,” you’re probably just having a bout of paranoia.

You’ll also be too afraid to fight back. You know that the bullies will only reverse roles and play victim. Then, others will only assume that you threw a temper tantrum and began shouting and cursing people out for no reason. All because you’re a “mental case.”

7. Bullying and Mental Health Stigma:

Your bullies don’t really think you’re cr*zy. They think you’re weak.

Your bullies know that you’re as sane as everyone else. However, they push that label because weakness or helplessness in a person does have a certain allure and appeal.

As a result, others may feel compelled to come to that person’s aid. Helplessness sparks a natural tendency in people to want to take care of the person who is helpless.

On the other hand, people are less likely to help the person who is deemed a basket case. Bullies instinctively know this. Therefore, they stick you with the mentally unhinged label to strip you of that allure.

In labeling you mentally disturbed and making it stick, bullies are better able to avoid being held accountable. If they can successfully dodge responsibility for their abuse, then they get to continue abusing you freely and with impunity.

Understand that there’s a method behind the label of mental instability. If you’re aware of the motives behind that label, the better you’ll be able to catch it and counter your bullies with it.

When Bullies Magically Become Board-Certified Shrinks

Isn’t it funny how quickly bullies can become board-certified shrinks? And they can do it overnight, without reading as much as a single word out of a psychology textbook.

As we all know, bullies are legends in their own minds. Also, they only make themselves look foolish when they “diagnose” anyone they cannot manipulate.

This little phenomenon is called “pop-psych,” and, it empowers bullies to conduct, “remote analyses.” All while holding little to zero education in the field of Psychology!

If you’re a target of bullying who’s been diagnosed by bullies, you can counter these accusations of insanity by reading a basic psychology 101 textbook. Then, you can challenge your bullies  by asking questions that challenge their narrative.

Bullying and Mental Health Stigma:

Here’s an Example:

Jack: “Don’t hang out with Jill. She’s cr*zy.”

Kelly: “Cr*zy? That sounds like a pretty serious accusation. Cr*zy in what way?”

Jack: “Uh…I don’t know. Like schizo or something.”

Kelly: There are five categories of schizophrenia, which one do you think she falls into?”

Jack: “Uhhhhh…having paranoia?”

Kelly: “I’ll have you know that paranoia is a common trait in many psychopathologies.”

Jack: “Uhhhh. I dunno. She’s talking about people talking about her and thinking they’re after her or something- that’s cr*zy.”

Kelly: “Jack, have you ever considered that possibility that Jill may be a target of bullying?”

Jack: “Oh, no! We’re not allowed to talk about that.”

Kelly: (Rolls her eyes and scoffs at Jack, then walks away.)

When bullies use pop-psychology, they do it out of ignorance and entitlement. They use mental health and mental illness as a weapon and end up making themselves look ignorant.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

For more information, go to:

https://antiss.net

If They Can’t Manipulate You, They’ll Attack Your Mental Health

It’s the oldest and most used tactic in the book! My classmates were no different. Bullies will always come back at you with the “mentally imbalanced” label to discredit you.

Moreover, they get to control how others see you when they can no longer control you. It only goes to show that they see you as a threat.

Also, it proves that they’re both desperate and afraid. When you refuse to be manipulated, it sends several messages to your bullies. These messages threaten their sense of superiority, positions, and their power.

  • It tells them that you see through their smokescreens.
  • It tells them that you’re not afraid to tell them to go kick rocks.
  • Also, it tells them the opposite of what they think of you- that you’re strong and intelligent, not weak.
  • Your refusal to be manipulated puts them in their place.
  • It tells them that they can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.
  • Moreover, it tells them that you don’t give a crap about what they say or think about you.
  • It tells them you could care less about impressing them.
  • Finally, it tells them they don’t matter to you and that you don’t value their insults or do you accept their definitions of you.

Bullying and Mental Health Stigma:

How to defend Against the Label.

Understand that bullies have an over-inflated sense of their own importance. Thus, they feel entitled.

They despise being told no and they loathe anyone who will not be controlled. Therefore, if they can’t manipulate you, they’ll manipulate your relationships, and the way others perceive you.

Don’t fall for it! Stand up to them! Look them in the eye, and calmly tell them,

“You’re wrong, and you know you’re wrong! I’m not going to debate this any further with you!”

Then walk away and leave them standing there slack-jawed. If your bullies follow you and ask, “What’s your problem?” don’t explain it to them.

They’re not five years old, they already know, and you don’t owe them any more than what’s necessary. So, say as little as possible.

Tell them, “You know what my problem is!”

The bully may continue to follow you and ask, “What did I do to you?”

You say, “You know what you did! Now get bent!”

Short responses are key here.

Don’t beat around the bush. Get to the point and say it like you mean it. Be firm but don’t yell. Yelling makes you look like a basket case.

Your bullies may not change their ways and their attitudes toward you. But I promise! You’ll feel so much better about yourself knowing that you put your foot down. Also, you didn’t look unstable to any bystanders!

Know that there are ways to stand up to the mental illness label.

This post was all about bullying and mental health stigma and why bullies stick you with the mental health label so that you can see it for what it is and what it’s designed to do.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Weaponizing Mental Health: 7 Reasons Bullies Label You Mentally Ill

2. Bullying Those with Mental Illness

3. The Cycle of Bullying: Psychological Injuries and Care of Victims

Confident Person Example: Who Are the Most Confident People?

‘Want to be a great confident person example? First, you must know who the most confident people are and use them as your guides. Here’s who the most confident people are and they are those you don’t expect.

confident person example

What do confident people do differently? And who are these confident people? You must know the answers to these questions to learn to do what they do.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn which group of people are the perfect confident person examples.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be able to see these examples and let them inspire you to do what you must do to boost your own confidence.

This post will guide you on how to be a good confident person example so that you can grow and repair your self-esteem.

Confident Person Example

People under 4 years old are the perfect examples of pure confidence. Why? Because they don’t worry about what others think of them.

What Babies can Teach Us about Confidence

Babies are so adorable! They have that charm and innocence that no other age group has. Also, they don’t worry about what others think of them and they never try to impress others.

These little darlings display open sweetness, purity, complete authenticity, and hearts of gold. Babies don’t have a care in the world.

They have no inhibitions whatsoever. They’re not afraid to cry and express their wants and needs. You can see it in the way little toddlers shamelessly coo, laugh, babble, skip, run, and dance.

And they’ll do it in front of anyone. These little sweeties are fearless. They’re not afraid to show their emotions, express their thoughts, or show their creativity.

Furthermore, their precious little souls are completely open. They give, share, and receive love with an open and grateful heart. They love being loved and doted on and will receive it with a squeal of joy.

They are the perfect examples of confidence!

Confident Person Example:

Everything starts with self-love and babies are a perfect example of it.

Sadly, as time passes and these babies grow bigger and lose their confidence, bit by tiny bit. The ways of people and the world slowly and incrementally taint their little hearts.

Many grow up in toxic environments. Some live with parents who excessively criticize and abuse them.

Therefore, as these babies grow, they slowly build a protective wall around themselves. And that do it to try and keep the contamination out.

Because family members and others discount, ridicule, even punish them for their feelings, they learn to mask their emotions. Consequently, babies collect emotional baggage as they become preschoolers, school-aged kids, then teenagers, and finally, adults.

Many are raised by drug-addicted, mentally ill, and neglectful adults. Therefore, they build walls to protect themselves from that as well. Some of these children learn to raise themselves.

No one is born with low self-esteem and lack of confidence. However, bullies and abusers force-feed them to us over time. Also, well-meaning family members, wanting to keep us humble and sweet, can accidentally wreck our self-esteem.

Consequently, many adults cause a baby to grow up thinking that they are unlovable. They don’t feel they deserve to have their wants and needs met. Thus, they grow up angry or sad and depressed.

Confident Person Example:

Life Has Ways of Eroding The Confidence and Goodness We Were Born With.

We all go through these terrible changes, even those who aren’t bullied. Only few people in this world manage to keep that confidence and joy they were born with.

Furthermore, life’s disappointments, hurts, and heartaches have ways of changing us. However, the worse changes happen to targets of bullying and abuse.

Victims of bullying stop expressing emotions and give up asking for anything. Why? Because other people have conditioned them. They programmed them to think that they’re selfish for ever needing or wanting anything out of life.

Therefore, they resign themselves to the attitude that, things are “just the way they are.” They feel that there’s nothing they can do to change anything.

When you wait too late to tell them about self-love, they wince at the idea because it makes them uncomfortable. Again, other people program them to think that self-love is somehow selfish and evil.

I can relate to this because, when I was thirteen and fourteen years old, I did the exact same when I was first told about the idea of self-love and self-care.

The thought of looking at myself in the mirror every day and making positive affirmations felt weird. In fact, it felt downright sickening.

Why?

Because many of the adults in my life had taught me that stuff like that came from vanity. And that vanity was wrong. But confidence isn’t vanity. It’s a necessity!

Confident Person Example:

Learning to love yourself can be Uncomfortable.

Self-love can feel downright painful after you’ve wasted years hating and degrading yourself. After all, it’s not something you’re accustomed to.

So, anything new and out of the ordinary feels painful at first. Like all things, it must first become a habit. And it can only become habit through rigorous learning and practice.

‘You see? Bullies and abusive people will brainwash you. They’ll put ideas in your head that any form of self-care or self-love is self-serving. In fact, they’ll convince you that they’re abhorrent!

Evil people will keep you under the misguided belief that self-degradation and self-criticism is a virtue. They’ll try to tell you that they’re signs that you’re humble and meek.

Therefore, I thought that was what average people did. And why not? I watched a few family members do the same thing.

Some of my family members still do this at times and it breaks my heart. If only they could see their value. If they could only see what I see. In my eyes, their worth is more than gold.

Self-hatred is the equivalent of a ball and chain. You drag it around everywhere you go and it’s exhausting. Therefore, it zaps your energy.

Moreover, it takes the magic, wonder, and excitement from your life. It keeps you stuck and invites more disrespect and abuse from others.

Confident Person Example:

Self-love isn’t Vanity, It’s Virtue!

Self-love can only come from within, never from without. It doesn’t come from a partner, a spouse, or a boatload of friends.

Moreover, it can’t come from a banging body or fancy clothes, hairdos, or makeup. Money can’t buy self-love. Power doesn’t give it to you and neither does prestige. Self-love comes from the heart and only the heart.

Additionally, self-love is about self-acceptance and being perfectly okay with your imperfections. It comes from being comfortable in your own skin and not caring even the slightest what others think or say of you.

Therefore, to find peace and joy in life, self-love is a must-have. It helps you to achieve your goals and realize your dreams and aspirations.

It determines your outcomes- whether you succeed or fail. Also, it helps you to better re-frame bad situations and see them as learning experiences. Self-esteem and self-love give you peace of mind.

Furthermore, self-love gives you complete freedom! It is the key to happiness and joy! Don’t you think you deserve to be at peace with yourself? Don’t you think you deserve happiness and joy?

Therefore, do what babies do. Love yourself. Know that your true colors are vibrant and never be afraid to show them.

So, dance like you’ve never been ridiculed. And play like you’ve never fallen and scraped your knee. Express your emotions. Love, laugh, and live.

You’ll be surprised at how everything changes for the better! I promise!

This post describes the perfect confident person example so that you can get a better picture of confidence and use it as your guide.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Confident Body Language: 11 Ways to Look Confident

2. The Importance of Confidence

3. Benefits of Self-Love: 13 Reasons to Love Yourself No Matter What

confirmation bias and bullying in schools

Confirmation Bias and Bullying

‘Want to know how confirmation bias and bullying relate? They relate a lot more than most would think. Here are all the details you need to know.

confirmation bias and bullying

Confirmation bias and bullying go hand in hand. When bullies spread rumors and lies to smear you, they have ways of making the lies look truthful. That’s what confirmation bias is, it’s when people go along with what makes lies look like the truth, even when they know it’s wrong.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about confirmation bias and bullying so that you can recognize it when you see it.

Once you learn all about this game-changing information, you will know what to look for and you will use what you learned to your advantage.

This post is all about confirmation bias and bullying so that you can use it as a weapon to defend yourself.

Confirmation bias and bullying

People will believe what they want to believe. Therefore, no amount of solid evidence will convince them if they refuse to believe it.

Sadly, the only way confirmation bias has anything to do with facts is when they match the belief. If cold, hard facts don’t match the person’s beliefs, chances are they’ll only deny it and look elsewhere for evidence that contradicts them.

Understand that your bullies do the same when it comes to you. They seek to justify and explain away their cruelty and abuse.

Moreover, they find arguments that support their opinions of you. And this only creates bigger problems for you.

What is confirmation bias?

It’s the tendency to recall, interpret, and favor information in a way that confirms a pre-existing belief.

In other words, if there’s evidence that debunks a person’s belief, that person is likely to reject it. Then they’ll search for evidence that confirms what they believe.

Therefore, there’s where the bias comes in. Hence, it is confirmation bias.

Bullies will find evidence to back up their lies, even if they must invent it themselves.

Any time bullies disregard information that contradicts their beliefs, they usually know what they’re doing. However, they don’t care.

All they care about is making you look bad to everyone else.

For instance, your bullies get caught beating the crap out of you. And later, they are standing tall before a member of authority.

They don’t want to face any accountability for abusing you. So, they tell the person in authority that there’s a good reason why they beat you up.

 Therefore, they make up a cockamamie excuse for their brutality. They blame you, saying that you instigated the fight.

They tell the staff member that you started it by spreading a rumor that could cost them their reputations. So, they just had to teach you a lesson.

Confirmation Bias and Bullying:

CB is another tactic in the bully’s playbook.

Your bullies will have this type of bias when they desperately search for evidence that supports their pre-existing beliefs of you. They will be selective in their stories about you.

They’ll spin the story until it best fits what they want to believe. Therefore, there are good reasons why you should never try to prove yourself to bullies or anyone else. Don’t waste your time trying to clear up any rumors.

Instead, just let them think what they want because they’re going to do that anyway.

Bullies Rarely tell boldface Lies.

Bullies have been lying and telling half-truths for so long that they have it down to an art. Most bullies rarely tell blatant falsehoods. Why? Because the boldface lies are easiest to figure out.

Bullies deceive by telling half-truths and adding their own spin. Therefore, your bullies will deceive by either adding to or taking away from the truth. In other words, they use the “Tiny Grain of Truth Technique.”

This is what facilitates confirmation bias. Here’s how they do it.

Bullies use that tiny grain of truth as a starting point any time they decide to defame you to others. If you are a bully, the beauty of this is that others can mistake it for the whole truth.

With the smallest grain of truth to a rumor, the rumor can be spun, twisted, and completely taken out of context. This not only benefits your bullies, but it causes more damage to you.

Therefore, no matter how much a story has been changed and rearranged, that grain of truth is all your bullies need to make the story believable to others.

Confirmation Bias and Bullying:

No wonder bullies are such believable liars!

As I have said a million times before, bullies are very practiced and convincing liars.  This is one of the ways they make their lies so convincing.

Again, they rarely tell straight up lies, they only take one tiny grain of truth and embellish on it. This is one of the bully’s most powerful deception tactics.

They Use Distortions and Exaggerations

It’s the same thing, really. Bullies either blow it up, water it down, or heavily distort facts. They conveniently take things out of context.

For example, your bullies begin to provoke you. They keep it up until you get fed up and, in a low but angry growl, tell them to buzz off.

Your bullies then tell everyone else about the altercation, making sure to blow it up, and make it bigger than it was.

They tell others that you started the confrontation. Therefore, they distort it. The truth is that there was a confrontation between you and your bullies.

However, they distort it by claiming that you started it when they were the ones who provoked you. They then exaggerate what happened by telling others that you yelled at them and cursed them out.

 Also, they leave out the part where they kept provoking and pushing you and didn’t stop until you got tired of the bullshit and told them to buzz off.

Confirmation Bias and Bullying:

They cherry-pick different parts of the story.

Understand this right now. Bullies do this deliberately. They distort anything to shoehorn it and make it fit their narrative.

Bullies will even cherry-pick different parts of the truth. In other words, they select the parts that fit their beliefs and add their own spin to it.

Then, they’ll glue the pieces together to create their own version of the truth and make it sound believable. Therefore, it now fits the bullies’ existing beliefs.

This is the same thing the media does.

Think about it. The media does this all the time. For instance, a witness may pull out their phone and film something terrible that is happening right before their eyes. They then send it to a news station to be broadcasted.

When the new media gets a hold of the film, they will edit out anything that doesn’t fit their narrative.  They’ll only show the bits and pieces of the film that best fits the story they wish to put out.

If they get an audio recording, they will also edit it and create soundbites. Therefore, they’ll only broadcast snippets of the recording that best fits the story they want to tell the public.

It’s all the same.

Confirmation Bias and Bullying:

Everyone is capable of confirmation bias.

Granted, each one of us looks at things from our own perspective, therefore, we all have a tiny bit of confirmation bias in us because everyone looks at the world differently.

However, bullies will take this to a whole different level. They will twist, distort, embellish, and lie to get the answers they desire.

And if it means denying solid evidence- any solid, concrete evidence which goes to your favor, then that is what they’ll do.

Understand that the reason bullies do this is to discredit you and skew the perspectives of  others. This is all designed to create prejudicial and negative views of and attitudes about you.

It’s so important that you understand the mindsets of bullies, their tactics, and their intentions behind such tactics. Moreover, it’s also important that these tactics have names and that you know those names and how to describe them.

Only then will you be better able to speak out about them and be your own advocate.

People who believe the lies are showing you who you should cut out of your life.

Unfortunately, there will be many people who fall for your bullies’ lies. Some, may even be those you think are your friends.

However, look at it this way. These people are showing you their true colors. They’re showing you exactly who you should cut ties with.

The people who matter will believe you. The ones who don’t believe you don’t matter. Therefore, walk away from anyone who believes any lies and rumors about you. And don’t look back!

It’s the smartest way to handle fake friends who can’t wait to believe the worst of you.

This post is all about confirmation bias and bullying so that you can know what’s happening and call it out when it happens to you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullied for Being Smart? Here are 5 Positive Ways to Look at It

2. The Horns Effect: Bully-Induced Bias Against Victims of Bullying

how to outsmart bullies at work

How to Outsmart Bullies: 4 Unconventional Ways to Do So

‘Want to know how to outsmart bullies in ways they’ll never expect? Here are the sneakiest ways you can do it!

how to outsmart bullies

There are ways to outsmart bullies that most people don’t think about.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to outsmart bullies in the sneakiest ways so that you can lure them out in the open and finally expose them for the creeps they are.

Once you learn all these clever tricks, you will be better able to trick your bullies into outing themselves. Moreover, you will not only have the possibility of exonerating yourself and repairing your unfairly ruined reputation, you’ll also be able to defend yourself more effectively.

This post is all about how to outsmart bullies so that you can take back your personal power and your life.

How to Outsmart Bullies

When you trick your bullies, the last thing you won’t to do is to make it obvious. Therefore, here are the sneakiest ways to out your bullies so that you can keep yourself safe while you use your bag of tricks.

1. Draw Your Enemies Out in the Open

We think we know all the people in our lives, especially those closest to us. However, many are not who they make us think they are.

In life, there will be fakers and imposters. There will be those who infiltrate your inner circle and pretend to be your friends.

These people will seem to latch onto you like a tick to a dog. Then, they’ll figure out everything about you. They’ll suss out your soft spots and most intimate details of your life. T

Moreover, they’ll discover what your goals, dreams and plans are. Then these creeps will work behind the scenes to sabotage and crush you.

But what if I told you that there is a clever way to flush out all the rats? Before we go any further, be forewarned. This won’t be easy.

In fact, it just might be the hardest thing to do. Why? Because it requires unshakeable confidence and self-belief. Here’s what I’m talking about.

How to Outsmart Bullies:

Draw your bullies out by appearing weak.

Sometimes, you must play the loser and appear weak to make the people around you feel safe. Only then can you draw them out and trick them into removing their fake husks. This is what you do anytime you have any shred of doubt about a person or persons.

You must realize that when people feel untouchable, they become brazen. And this is when you see their true nature. Therefore, to make them feel untouchable, you must give them the impression that they’ve already won.

I won’t kid you. This will be hard to do because it will feel like a huge blow to your pride. No one wants to look weak. It feels better to appear strong even if you’re not.

It’s a blow to the ego when you’re defeated. Moreover, it’s the same even when we aren’t defeated but appear that way to the rest of the world.

You’ll be ridiculed, your bullies will gloat, and it won’t feel good at all. In fact, it’ll feel terrible, even humiliating at times.

You can also pull this trick on friends you suspect are fake.

However, this is something most people wouldn’t dream of doing. Why? Because, as I just mentioned, it’s downright terrifying.

Very few want to know of any possibility that a long-trusted friend could turn out to be a snake. I get that. It feels so much better (and safer) to live in denial and act as if everything is peachy king.

But trust me, it is only when you’re at your lowest that you find out who’s really in your corner. And those who aren’t, never were.

So, again, if you can make everyone think that you’ve been knocked on your ass, you’ll be surprised at the snakes who shed their skins. Many will reveal themselves, and some will more than likely be people you’d never expect.

Very few people realize who their enemies are until thing get hairy.

How to Outsmart bullies:

When you’re at your lowest, the snakes will shed their skins.

Any time you appear to be at your weakest and lowest, not only will your secret enemies reveal themselves, they’ll also be more emboldened to act against you.

And when they do, they’ll do it openly! And the reason these people will be so open with their dirt is because they’ll mistake you for being too powerless to fight back.

But realize that this is the only way for you to clear the human clutter from your life. And you do it by unmasking it first. After all, you must know who to get rid of beforehand.

If you do this right, you can ensure your safety and peace of mind in the future. Moreover, you can remove any obstacles to your progress. More importantly, you can make yourself available only to the people who are your tried and true friends.

So, in closing, any time you have doubts about a friend or two, do something to make yourself appear weak or down and out. Then see what they do.

2. Fake a Surrender.

If your bullies are extremely powerful, it’s best to fake a surrender if you want them to leave you alone. This may not feel good. However, sometimes, real power comes with swallowing your pride and giving in to them first.

Why? Because if you fight back, you might be fighting an unwinnable war. Showing weakness can be a strength if you know how to do it correctly.

You can get what you can out of the surrender, then fight later when your bullies are not so strong. Believe it or not, bullies do eventually lose power.

You don’t surrender because you give up. You do it to humor them by fooling them into thinking they’ve won.

Understand that bullies love to show dominance and superiority. Therefore, if you make it look like you surrender to them, it’ll be too easy to trick them.

Submitting, for the time being, makes your bullies feel satisfied and powerful. In this, they become easier targets for a later counter-attack.

3. How to Outsmart Bullies:

Use Their Attacks Against them.

You can do this by dragging out the attacks. For example, when they attack you with insults, you simply say, “That’s your opinion,” or “Opinions vary.”

When you do, you will only force the bullies to repeat the attacks over and over again. Therefore, you drag them out until they become boring and redundant.

I won’t kid you; this technique won’t be an easy thing to do. Any time we are attacked, our first instinct is to jab back with attacks of our own. But sometimes that’s not wise to do.

This method can be effective in the workplace.  However, it’s much harder and usually takes longer to have an effect. Why? Because adults are more tenacious and stealthier with their bullying.

Respond, Don’t React!

This strategy works much better in the school environment. So, respond. But never react.

And how you respond is with short comebacks like those above. Then walk away and leave the bullies standing there, running their mouths and looking defeated. Why?

Because, when you don’t give them the response they want (which is for you to attack them back by name-calling, yelling, screaming, or cursing), their natural reactions will be to repeat, repeat, repeat like a broken record.

In other words, you force the bullies to repeat the same attacks over a long time. By doing it this way, you force them to wear them out until they get so old and stale that others outside the bully/target dynamic get thoroughly sick of hearing them.

And once people get tired of hearing it, they’ll no longer pay attention to it.

In deploying this neat little method, you expose the childishness of their attacks. You also expose the weakness of the bullies’ position, which they thought was their strength.

Instead of winning others over to their side, your bullies only alienate them. Why? Because people get bored after hearing the same old shit for so long.

4. How to Outsmart Bullies:

Rattle Your Bullies to Expose Them

Sometimes, to expose your bullies, you must rattle them. If you’re not sure how to do it, think Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam!

Getting a bully rattled is as easy as smiling. Therefore, say nothing to them; only look at them and smile like you know something they don’t. I promise you. It’ll drive them nuts!

They’ll ask you what the hell you’re smiling at. Don’t get defensive. Don’t say anything. Just walk away, snickering.

Your bullies will be madly bewildered. They’ll look at each other, wondering why you seem so smug.

Next, they’ll wonder what it is you’re up to, and curiosity will get the best of them. You’ll throw them off! Trust me. Bullies always think you’re up to something when you act this way.

Also, They’ll go on the hunt to find answers like hounds sniffing a trail.

Here’s another possibility. Your bullies may think you’re making fun of them and get super angry. But, all the better for you.

Here’s why:

  • When someone is really pissed off, they lose the ability to think straight and control their emotions.
  • When you stir someone up, you throw them off balance. When this happens, they usually screw up and do something foolish.

If they challenge you to a fight, don’t fight unless it’s necessary. You want to get the bully in front of a crowd of people. Then get them so mad they start yelling and throwing a hissy fit in front of everyone.

Your goal is to get them to expose themselves in front of bystanders and those in authority! Oops! BUSTED!

Sadly, this is the only way you can expose a bully by allowing others to see with their own eyes. But before you employ this tactic, be sure that the bully isn’t one who carries a deadly weapon and isn’t criminally violent.

Outsmarting bullies is easy if you know the right tactics to use.

This post was all about how to outsmart bullies so that you can expose them without being obvious and take back your personal power.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them: 5 Ways to Counter Bullying

2. 7 Secrets to Instantly Expose Bullies

3. Outsmarting Bullies: 3 Clever Ways that Expose Them

bullying and psychological effects in children

Bullying and Psychological Effects: 10 Emotions Victims Feel

‘Want to know all the bullying and psychological effects? Here are all the emotions that come with being a victim of bullying.

bullying and psychological effects

Bullying and psychological effects are closely related. Targets go through so many raw emotions. They go from anger, to sadness, to hopelessness and so much more.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the emotions victims feel so that you can know what you’re feeling and know when to get help.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be able to better take care of yourself.

This post is all about bullying and psychological effects so that you can show yourself compassion and get profession help when you need it.

Bullying and Psychological Effects

If you’re a victim of bullying, here are all the emotions you’ll likely feel so that you can understand what you’re feeling and why. Self-knowledge is one of the steps to overcoming bullying.

Emotions Victims of Bullying Feel

Targets of bullying endure a hell that no one can comprehend. Unless they have experienced bullying, others won’t understand what it does.

It’s the same with the range of resulting emotions they feel. Unless you’ve been there, you can’t imagine the intense stress and the wide array of powerful emotions that come with it. The psychological effects cannot be underestimated!

1. Grief

Once bullies select you as their object of bullying, life as you know it changes. You mourn for the way your life used to be and long to get things back to the way they were.

You also grieve the loss of the dignity and respect you once had. Moreover, you mourn the loss of your reputation and good standing. In fact, you’ve lost your entire identity.

You grieve for your friends and in some cases, your spouse and family. There’s nothing worse than to endure grief over a loved one who’s still alive.

2. Bullying and Psychological Effects:

Bewilderment

You don’t understand why this is happening to you. You can’t fathom why people are bullying you because you know you’ve done nothing to deserve it.

You’re shocked that people you love and who you thought loved you have turned against you. You’re also at a loss as to what you did to bring about such hatred.

In your heart, you know that you’re a great person. You’re fully aware of the good you bring to this world.

3. Bullying and Psychological Effects:

Confusion

You don’t know which way to turn. Who do you turn to? How do you remedy the situation? Each time you do something to make things better, the bullying only intensifies. Therefore, you feel stuck!

4. Terror

Anytime you’re targeted, the fear can be paralyzing. You’re afraid to speak but afraid not to speak.

Moreover, you’re frightened of the people around you. You’re scared to make any moves or decisions. Why? Because you know that people will scrutinize anything you do.

They’ll only see it in a negative light. You’re afraid to come to school or work because you know what’s waiting for you when you get there.

You know that none of it is just your imagination. They’re all out to get you and if you show up, they’ll only blindside you with another bullying attack.

5. Sadness

You cry in your car to and from your school or your job. You cry in your pillow at night when you go to bed.

It seems that no one will give you a chance. Therefore, you’re isolated and alone. When you try to make new friends, the bullies always seem to intervene.

They turn the new people against you too. The type of sadness you feel is the kind that is deep, dark, and overwhelming.

6. Bullying and Psychological Effects:

Depression

Depression is the lowest point bullying can drive you to. Why? Because it comes from feelings of powerlessness. When you think that you have power over nothing, it’s as if your life has been set to autopilot.

Therefore, you feel like a leaf being blown around in the wind. This is the epitome of hell on earth. Why? Because it seems that there’s nothing you can do to change the situation. It’s the feeling of being bound and gagged.

Bullying makes you feel trapped like a rat. And there’s nowhere to go where the bullies won’t find you. Therefore, it seems that things will never get better.

When you’re depressed, you don’t fight back because you’re exhausted from all the bullying you’ve endured. Therefore, you resign yourself after so long.

After bullying has knocked you on your ass enough times, you want to give up. However, it’s not that you want to quit, you only want a break from the bullying.

Moreover, you want to feel some semblance of peace. You want to rest because you’re so damn tired!

Depression Also Comes from Exhaustion.

Therefore, you lose the will to fight.

This is why bullies love picking on the depressed because they’re least likely to push back. Understand that when you’re depressed, they’ve already diminished you. Therefore, the bullies don’t have to work so hard to bring you down.

They’ve already accomplished that mission. Therefore, all the bullies have to do is keep you down. After all, it’s much easier to keep someone on their knees than it is to bring them to their knees.

In other words, it’s always easier to maintain something than it is to change it.

If this describes you, don’t lose hope! Know that things will get better and you will heal. You many need lots of therapy, but you can regain their confidence and feel good again.

Moreover, you can take your life back.

It won’t be easy. In fact, it will be hard, even exhausting at times, but will be worth it later. If you are battling depression brought about by bullying, or anything else, know that there are people who care. You are not alone and it’s okay to not be okay.

7. Bullying and Psychological Effects:

Rage

This is, by far, THE most powerful emotion you can have. With each physical or psychological attack, the fury grows.

Therefore, it festers until you just want to rip the bullies’ heads off and shove them up their butts. Oh, yes! Rage does that to you. It gives you such evil thoughts!

If you aren’t careful, the bullying can make you feel homicidal! In other words, you’ll loathe your bullies so intensely that you’ll just want them all to drop dead.

But please! Use your brain. Don’t allow yourself to snap and take any lives. Instead, think about your future. Moreover, think about the consequences you’d face.

The bullying you suffer will only last for a little while. Therefore, your bullies aren’t worth you ruining your future.

Also, they’re not worth the pain you’d cause the people who love you. Rest assured that, eventually, a door will open for you. And you will be able to transfer to a new school or job where things will be so much better.

8. Suicidal thoughts

It’s not that you want to die. You just want the torment to stop. Therefore, when the torture reaches a certain level, death seems to be the only escape.

These thoughts happen when you feel you’ve exhausted every possible option to make things better. However, don’t give up.

As long as you’re alive, there’s always a good chance that things will change. If you hang tough, things will get better and you’ll come out victorious on the other side of it.

I want you to know that if you suffer bullying, things may seem hopeless but they aren’t. Things are going to change for the better. And it will happen when you least expect them to.

9. Bullying and Psychological Effects:

shame

Bullying comes with a high level of shame. Bullies can ritually torment you to the point that you may begin viewing yourself through their eyes.

Toxic shame is, perhaps, the worst effect of bullying. Why? Because once you begin seeing yourself through the eyes of your abusers, that’s when you know you’ve hit rock bottom.

Your abusers’ contempt, disgust, and aversion toward you have rubbed off on you. Therefore, you began to hate yourself.

But I want you to understand that this is what your bullies want. They want you to hate yourself. Because the bullies know that once they finally get you to hate yourself, they’ve won.

Your bullies aren’t dimwitted. They know that you’ll submit to the abuse because when a person hates themselves, they think they deserve abuse.

When a target of bullying suffers from toxic shame, they accuse themselves of sins of which they aren’t guilty. They apologize incessantly over things that aren’t their fault. Ultimately, targets feel guilty for merely existing!

There, you must fight like the devil to keep your self-esteem and confidence. Educate yourself on the psychology of bullies and bullying. Then, you will have the knowledge to empower yourself.

10. You Grow Numb to the bullying

Some people endure bullying and gaslighting for so long they seem to grow accustomed to it. Therefore, they become emotionally numb.

This is one of the most heartbreaking effects of bullying. When the bullying has gone on for so long that the attacks don’t even hurt anymore. You may think you’ve finally toughened up.

However, here’s what’s really happening here. You’ve gotten so used to the torment that the more subtle attacks no longer sound cruel.

Now, some people think that targets are better off when they no longer realize they’re being bullied. But are they really?

In some instances, yes, and in others, no. If you don’t react because you don’t know to, some bullies will get bored with the lack of response and leave you alone.

But others will only bully you worse.

Either way, there comes a point when the target just says, “F it!” and doesn’t care anymore. In order to survive and keep your sanity, sometimes it becomes a necessity not to give a damn until you can find a way out.

The effects of bullying are no joke and you shouldn’t take them lightly. So, get wise to your bullies’ mind games.

I can’t stress this enough! Things may seem utterly hopeless now but it won’t always be this way. This is the time to dig in your heels and fight to keep your self-esteem intact. Whatever you do, don’t give up!

Look to the future because you never know what tomorrow will bring! Things eventually improved for me. And they will for you too.

Know that one day, you’ll finally live in peace.

This post was all about bullying and psychological effects so that you’ll recognize them and do what you must to keep your sanity and heal from bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Effects of Bullying on the Victim: 13 Symptoms of Bullied People

2. The Effects of Bullying: 17 Negative Results on Victims

3. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

how to deal with a bullying partner reddit

How to Deal with a Bullying Partner

‘Want to know how to deal with a bullying partner? Here are all the details you need to know.

how to deal with a bullying partner

Bullying partners can be dangerous and life-threatening.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about how to deal with a bullying partner. Also, you will learn the tactics they use to make you stay with them and what you can do to escape and get your life back.

Once you learn all about this life-saving information, you will have the encouragement to leave and to take control of your personal safety and your life.

This post is all about how to deal with a bullying partner so that you can recognize the tactics they use to keep you trapped and gather the courage to get out of the relationship.

How to Deal with a Bullying Partner

Whether you call it domestic abuse or spousal abuse, it is still a form of bullying. Only the bullying takes place in the home against a significant other. The reason this is a form of bullying is because there is a clear power imbalance between the abuser and the target.

 Moreover, the attacks, whether physical, verbal, or psychological, are repetitive. They become a pattern and go on over a period of months, years, or decades.

Domestic Abuse is a form of bullying

The bully in the home, (or domestic abuser) abuses the target verbally, emotionally, and/or physically. They do this to assert power and dominance and keep their partner from leaving the relationship.

If the abused partner succumbs to the abuse, the bullying partner traps them in a cycle of torment. Also, the abuser blocks them from defending themselves and gaining any kind of independence.

If you find yourself in this type of situation, the bully feels they must use force to keep you in line. Why? Because your abuser is a life loser who have no social intelligence and no redeeming qualities.

If the bullying and abuse you suffer is in the late stages, Things can become life-threatening really fast. And you may wonder how things got so out of control. Here’s how.

Somewhere along the way, your abuser learned through experience that being a loving partner didn’t work. Moreover, they may have been taught that calmly talking out any issues, or seduction and soft persuasion were signs of weakness.

Most domestic abusers grew up in an abusive household. They were either abused by a parent or they watched a parent being abused by the other parent.

Nevertheless, they never learned how to love. They never learned social skills and how to use positive re-enforcement. Also, they never mastered the art of charm or soft persuasion.

Therefore, the only thing these pathetic souls have left in their toolbox is the use of intimation, force, and violence.

How to Deal with a Bullying Partner:

Here are ways that domestic bullies keep control and dominance over their partners:

1. Verbal abuse.

If you have a partner that subtly puts you down through jokes or offhand comments, it is still verbal abuse. Only you are in the early stages and the abuse is so subtle you hardly recognize it.

However, you must understand that this stage is the safest time to leave the relationship. And the longer you stay, the worse the abuse will get and the more danger you’ll face when you finally do walk away.

 Know that you deserve to live a peaceful life on your own for a while. And when you’re ready to love again, you deserve a partner who respects you. And you should select one who treats you with love.

Again, you owe it to yourself to get out of the relationship before the abuse gets any worse. 

Anyone who screams, yells, curses you, or calls you degrading names does not love you. They only want to exert power and control over you. They may claim they love you but actions speak louder than words..

Therefore, you must find a path of escape and disappear. Why? Because verbal bullying tends to turn physical if you don’t address it.

Do what you must do to get yourself to safety. I realize that it’s hard to leave someone you love. However, if your partner doesn’t love you enough to treat you with respect, you’re better off alone.

At least you can live in peace when you’re by yourself. Also, you make room for someone who truly loves you to come into your life.

2. How to Deal with a Bullying Partner:

Domestic abusers may use Physical abuse.

Nobody wants to be physically beaten. Therefore, many people will submit to a bully just to keep from getting hurt.

However, submission only provides physical safety in the short term. Why? Because bullies and abusers always come back for more.

If nothing else, know this! If they hit you once, they’ll do it again. Like school bullying, workplace bullying, and neighborhood bullying, spousal or domestic bullying can intensify quickly.

It can become a pattern and escalate because bullies and abusers grow comfortable with abusing you. They always pushing the envelope.

In other words, when they get bored with verbal abuse, they will begin to commit “borderline physical abuse,” which is shoving or tripping. Next, they’ll up the ante to blatant physical abuse through punching, choking, kicking.

After that, they’ll progress on to severe beatings. And the beatings will get more brutal until your abuser ends up killing you.

If you are being physically abused, it’s imperative that you call police and a battered partner’s shelter to get help. Find a way to get out of the relationship.

The last thing you want is to end up dead and any children you have to become orphaned.

3. Controlling the purse strings.

Domestic bullies are notorious for keeping a tight fist on any household income. They refuse to give their partners any money for things they need.

Moreover, spousal bullies may prevent their partners from going to work and making their own money. If the abused partner happens to have a job, the abusive partner will demand that they give them the money. Or they may force them to quit their jobs.

Understand that the reason these bullies are so stingy with the money is because they want to control you. They know that having your own money brings freedom and independence.

Your abuser is afraid that you just might skip out on them one day, while they’re at work. Therefore, the last thing your abuser wants is for you to have the resources to live on your own.

And what better way is there to keep you stuck in the relationship than to keep you broke?

4. How to Deal with a Bullying Partner:

Abusers keep control of you by Isolating you from family and friends.

Domestic abusers try to cut you off from your family and friends because they’re afraid of any support you might receive. Therefore, they isolate you from anyone outside the relationship.

Another reason they try to prevent you from seeing the people you care about is that they’re afraid you might talk about the abuse. Moreover, the abuser is scared that your family and friends might advise you to drop them.

And gasp! You just might take their advice!

Therefore, they keep you all to themselves to abuse and degrade at will. Again, you must find a way to get away from this person…fast!

5. Using children as leverage.

Many spousal bullies will threaten to take the children and never allow the abused partner to see them again. I’ve heard and read many stories like this.

Spousal bullies use the love you have for your children to intimidate you into staying with them. Therefore, you stay with them out of fear and they get to continue the abuse.

However, understand that when an abusive partner does this, they don’t really love the children nor want what’s best for them. They only use the poor kids as pawns to keep you under their control. 

How to Deal with a Bullying Partner:

How to Escape Your Abuser?

If you want to protect yourself and your children, you must find a way to leave the relationship. Otherwise, your children can end up with long-term emotional trauma if you don’t take them and get away.

So, please. I beg you. Get your ducks in a row and leave this person, not only for your own safety, but for that of your precious children.

1. Get Legal and Financial Help.

Anytime there’s physical violence, get the police involved. They may or may not arrest the abuser, but if you make a police report, it will be on record.

Also, there are assistance programs that can help victims of abuse. Look into them.

2. Keep a Hidden Stash of Money, if possible.

Depending on your situation, keeping money hidden away can make it easier for you to escape your abuser.

3. Find People who can help you.

Besides your friends and family, there are organizations that can assist you if you suffer domestic violence. There are battered women’s shelters and government assistance programs that can help you get on your feet.

4. Get Therapy.

Getting therapy can not only help you heal, it can also give you records of any psychological trauma.

How to Deal with a Bullying Partner:

In Conclusion

Understand that anyone who must bully and abuse their partner is highly insecure in the relationship. They are the weak ones. They are the cowards.

If you are the target in an abusive relationship, I want you to know that none of it is your fault. Realize that it’s not your responsibility to fix this person.

Know that you owe it to yourself, your children, and your family and friends to find a way out of the relationship. And you must do it so that you can lead a better, happier, and more productive life.

Moreover, you must leave so that your children, family, and friends do not risk losing a loved one to murder.

Know that you’re worth it. And you deserve to be free of bullying and lead a life of peace and safety!

If you’ve suffered domestic abuse, please feel free to tell your story in the comment section below. Also, if I’ve left anything out, let me know in the comments.

This post was all about how to deal with a bullying partner so that you can know what to look for and have the courage to get out of the relationship sooner rather than later.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Deal with Physical Bullies

2. Physical Bullying Information: 5 Must-Know Secrets Bullies Don’t Want You to Know

3. How to Deal with Bullies: 7 Do’s and Don’ts You Need to Know

imbalance of power in bullying examples

Imbalance of Power in Bullying: 3 Sources of Power for Bullies

‘Want to know all about the imbalance of power in bullying? Here are all the sources bullies draw their power from.

imbalance of power in bullying

Too many victims of bullying don’t know what to do to reclaim their power. They’re at a loss as to where to start.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the imbalance of power in bullying. You’ll also learn exactly what it is that unfairly tips the scales of power in your bullies’ favor.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be able to take back your personal favor and tip the scales back in your favor.

This post is all about the imbalance of power in bullying so that you know where it comes from and you can finally take back control of your life.

Imbalance of Power in Bullying

As most of you know, bullying arises from an imbalance of power. In other words, the bullies have way more power than you do. This is why they selected you as their victim.

However, exactly what is it that determines this power imbalance? Here are 5 sources your bullies get their power from.

1. A Bully’s Power is Your Lack of Knowledge.

You’ve heard people say that knowledge is power. And they’re right. Knowledge is power. Having knowledge is the first step in problem-solving.

Your bullies get their power because you simply don’t know the power you have. To know your power, you must also have knowledge of your goodness, your strengths, and your rights as a human being.

Power you don’t know you have is power you don’t have. In other words, if you don’t know your power, you might as well not have it.

Here’s exactly what you need to know.

You must have self-knowledge. This means not only knowing your power, but also your worth! Furthermore, you must also know your potential and the good things you’re capable of.

You must believe in yourself. And you must realize that you deserve love and respect just as much as the next person

You must know all about human predators. This means knowing all about bullying and how bullies operate. Therefore, have knowledge of he  nature, mindset, and tactics of bullies.

In short, you must have self-knowledge and know your enemies. Once you do, their moves and power plays will no longer have any effect on you.

Again, your lack of self-knowledge and that of your bullies is where they draw their power over you. This is why many victims of bullying beg for approval.

However, when you seek approval from others, you only hand over more of your power. There’s a name for this. It’s called, “simping.”

Imbalance of Power in Bullying:

When You Simp, You Only Hand Over Your Power.

Many targets beg for approval, attention, and popularity. And the sad thing is that most don’t realize they’re doing it.

As a result, you’ll only get bullied worse. Also, people lose respect for you. Even bystanders will mistreat you too. And it’ll be because you don’t respect yourself.

Understand that if you don’t respect yourself, no one else will respect you either.

Therefore, you must respect yourself and do it in the early stages of bullying. Because once the bullying has gone on for so long, it will be too late.

And the way to self-respect is to have knowledge of your value and your power. Also, setting boundaries is a way to respect yourself. Know your worth and you will know your power!

And once you do, you will be able to defuse bullying like a champ.

2. Naivete.

Naivete and lack of knowledge are closely related. However, the latter comes more from lack of life experiences.

We all have been naïve at some point in our lives. But over time, we grew and accumulated knowledge. This knowledge came from lessons learned from good and bad life experiences.

This is how wisdom is acquired. Some people become sage quicker and others slower. What counts is that we eventually learn. It doesn’t matter the pace.

However, some people take years to learn. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes, the learning process takes longer due to the environment you’re stuck in.

Maybe you live in a sheltered home. Maybe you have a secure family and home life. Therefore, you believe that all people have goodness in them.

Again, this is not a bad thing. However, it can mark you for bullying and abuse. It can set you up for someone to take advantage of you.

Imbalance of Power in Bullying:

Bullies Can Smell Naivete A Mile Away.

It’s what helps them choose their victims. Any time you’re a target of bullying, you can’t afford to be naïve. Moreover, the sad reality is that most people targeted for bullying are.

And it’s why their bullies selected them in the first place.

When I was young, I was not very smart when it came to people. I believed that all people were inherently good, and I believed it to a fault. I can admit that today.

Therefore, the bullying I suffered years ago wised me up when it came to the duality of human beings.

Most victims hold the same belief. They believe that all people are inherently good. They cannot fathom how anyone could deliberately harm another person without a darn good reason.

In other words, they were raised to believe that things will work out for the best. This is not to say that we shouldn’t think positively.

However, many fail to take into consideration that the world is full of bad people with evil intentions. Also, we live in a competitive world.

And there are people who want to take what we have. There are people who want to hurt us. Failure to realize these harsh truths will only subject targets of bullying to years of abuse.

You must learn to spot bullies before they strike.

Bullies, especially those in power, will always win unless you learn to spot them ahead of time. Moreover, you must learn strategies to counter their attacks.

You can only learn to counter them when you accept the truth that bad people exist in the world.

You must realize that once bullies have their sights set on you, they won’t just disappear. Bullies are very persistent with their goals to harm you and ultimately destroy you.

 This is hard to swallow because we all want to believe that all humans are good. However, the fact is that many of them are monsters. Not everyone believes in treating others as they would like to be treated.

When you’re naïve, you’re vulnerable. Why? Because without people-knowledge, you’ll continue to take abuse. Therefore, you must gain knowledge of the bully mindset. And you must learn the motivations and intentions behind each tactic bullies use.

Only then will you be able to protect yourself and keep them away.

3. Imbalance of Power in Bullying:

Bullies also get their power from Your Predictability.

Being predictable is dangerous. Why? Because if bullies can predict your next move, it’s game over.

Remember that most bullies are socially intelligent. They can spot behavior patterns in their victims.

All they have to do is carefully observe you. They look for any patterns of behavior, habits, and weaknesses. Your bullies closely monitor your reactions to everything. They notice what ticks you off, what makes you happy, and what excites you.

Moreover, they study your body language to suss out your moods and emotional state. And when they watch you, bullies leave no stone unturned.

They even scrutinize the way you do things. For example, the way you arrange objects.

Bullies are like bank robbers who case out a bank before pulling off the heist. The robbers get the bank’s layout and search for any vulnerabilities in the security system. Also, they look for any patterns of patrols and the comings and goings there.

Is it any wonder that being targeted for bullying can feel like being under a microscope? Like you’re being watched? It’s because you are!

It’s always best to be unpredictable.

Being too predictable is unwise, especially if a pack of bullies are on your tail. Instead, make it a point to be unpredictable. In other words, do things as randomly as possible.

I know it won’t be easy because we’re all creatures of habit. However, if you do things people don’t expect, you won’t be so easy to figure out.

Therefore, it’s best to be versatile.

If you’re a target of bullying, you want to make it look you have no clear strategy. You must scramble your behavior patterns and your reactions.

This will confuse the bullies and force them to back off. In fact, it’ll scare the hell out of them!

Again, by doing something unexpected, you gain a huge advantage over your bullies. Therefore, when bullies can’t figure out what you’re going to do, it scares them to death.

As a result, they’ll either leave you alone or react out of fear!

Nothing is more frightening than when you make a move nobody would ever expect. It’s the reason natural disasters are so scary because no one knows when and where they’ll hit next.

Moreover, it’s why deer hunters can track down their prey and kill them. They know the habits and behavior patterns of the deer they hunt.

Understand that habits and patterns are the worst things for you. Bullies pick up on your routines and use them against you.

Imbalance of Power in Bullying:

In closing

you must learn to unsettle your bullies by allowing them to see you do things they’d never expect. If a bully launches an attack, you should counter-attack suddenly.

The attack should come without warning. You should hit them in a way they wouldn’t expect, and when they least expect it.

You must purposefully mislead your bullies to trick them into an emotional reaction!

If you’re going to be predictable, don’t stay that way. Do it for long enough that your bullies get used to your patterns.

 What you want is to lull them into a false sense of security. Then, you can strike suddenly with something unexpected! And that’s how you get them to leave you alone!

This post is all about the imbalance of power in bullying so that you’ll know all the sources your bullies draw their power from. Moreover, with this knowledge, you’ll be able to counter bullying much more effectively.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. False Sense of Power: Real Power versus the Fake Power of Bullying

2. Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some 

why do bullies get away with bullying at work

Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying? 15 Must-Know Answers

Why do bullies get away with bullying? ‘Want all the answers to this question? Here are all the answers you’ve been searching for.

why do bullies get away with bullying

Most bullies get away with their behavior and it’s a fact we all need to face. They have a knack with escaping accountability and making you look like the bad guy.

Therefore, in this post, you will get all the answers to the question, “Why do bullies get away with bullying.”

Once you learn all about these important details, you will be better able to outflank your bullies when they try to lay the blame on you.

This post will give you all the answers to the frequently asked question, “Why do bullies get away with bullying,” so that you can use this information to your advantage.

Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

Every victim has at some point asked either themselves or another person these questions.

  • “Why am I always to blame?”
  • “Why do my tormentors always get away with abusing me?”
  • “Why do bullies get away with bullying?”

Here are the answers, and there are many.

1. Bullies are notorious suck-ups.

They have a knack for appealing to those in authority and winning them over to their side. Understand that these types of people are very convincing liars. They use charm and allure to disarm anyone in authority.

Also, most people in authority love it when people suck up to them. And bullies instinctively know this. Therefore, they will eagerly kiss ass if it gets them what they want.

 Because they kiss the right butts, supervisors, managers, and HR are more likely to overlook their rotten behavior. They also tend to thumb rides on others’ coattails.

Moreover, in school, bullies often suck up to teachers, principals, and school officials.

Sucking up is one of the reasons they gain power.

2. Why Do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

They’re High Performers and scholars.

Many school bullies also impress school staff with academic excellence and being stars of the sports teams. In that, they make the school look good.

Therefore, the school is less likely to punish them. Instead, they’ll accuse you of picking on them.

3. They know people in high places.

Add that to their parents having connections with town and city big-shots, and they have the freedom to bully at will.

Why? Because people will be too afraid to hold them responsible for anything. They fear that their big connections just might come after them.

4. Bullies are convincing liars.

They’ve been lying and covering up bad behavior all of their lives. They have been doing this for long enough that they have learned what works and what doesn’t.

Therefore, they are master manipulators who have great skill in the arts of deception.
You must realize that these types are also very good at rationalizing and justifying their unacceptable behavior.

They are wordsmiths and con artists, who often use charm to deceive those in authority.

5. Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

They’re masters at projection.

In other words, they project all their faults and shortcomings onto their victims. In doing this, they successfully reverse the roles, making you look like the bully and themselves the victim.

Anytime these abusers face possible accountability for their evil actions, they often cry those crocodile tears to feign victim-hood. This tactic is usually employed by females.

6. They’re charming to the right people.

Consequently, they can use this as another weapon against a victim. Bullies seem to emit an oozing charm. Nevertheless, they have a way of winning people over and making them their allies.

“How are these people able to use their good reputations as weapons?” You may wonder. Here’s a simple explanation.

When the bully has a good name among the majority, it’s much easier for her to fool everyone except you. Others find it hard to believe that “this sweet, innocent, pretty little girl” would harm anyone.

Moreover, take a look at the outgoing guy that everyone loves. No one is going to believe that this “fine young man” would ever beat up a smaller boy unless he was provoked.

7. Because they have so many friends who cherish them.

And the sad reality is this. Even if the bully’s friends did witness them attack you, their loyalty will override their sense of right and wrong. Therefore, these friends will lie for them to hide their bad behavior and place the blame on you.

8. Why Do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

There is strength in numbers.

Unfortunately, most bullies have a large number of friends behind them. And people in large numbers wield a cumulative power that can be overwhelming for victims.

In other words, if enough people actively hate a certain person, that person is powerless, no matter how strong, smart, beautiful, or easy-going they may be.

9. They use gaslighting to keep you silent.

They’re good at placing the blame on you to make you feel like you did something wrong by defending yourself. Bullies may also lay guilt trips or hurl insults at you.

Also, they try to convince you that it’s your own fault or that the abuse is just your imagination.
Bullies are masters at this, especially females who use feminine charm to deceive bystanders and authority figures.

They will deny their abuse and trivialize everything you are experiencing. “Don’t believe your eyes, ears, nor how you feel. You’re too sensitive.”

And the most effective tactic is to make you look like you have a mental imbalance. Why? Because the tough reality is that there’s nothing that will discredit you more than the mental illness label.

10. Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

They malign you to destroy your reputation.

They’ll recruit followers and start a campaign of hate and viciousness against you. They will spread rumors and lies about you to turn everyone against you.

Moreover, they’ll even turn your friends against you if they can.

It happens in school, the workplace, and in communities. Many times, this is how bad people retaliate against victims who have the gall to stand up to them.

Bullies hate it when you refuse to take their abuse.

11. They appeal to the self-interests of the school or workplace.

For example, the bullies may excel academically or be stars of one of the school’s sports teams. You must realize that schools have a vested interest in their sports teams and want to win championships.

Why? Because it boosts the school’s image. Also, if the school has a low number of dropouts and high graduation rate, this also reflects highly on the school.

Schools also get recognition for cranking out college-bound graduates. This adds to a schools good reputation.

And if the school has a great reputation, the larger number of students in attendance. Moreover, more parents want their kids to go to this school.

Additionally, the more students a school has, the more federal and state funds they get.
Do you see where I’m going with this?

So, right or wrong, the school won’t take your word over those of its brightest stars and highest achievers.

I want you to realize that in most cases of bullying, it’s not about who’s right or wrong. It’s about which people have the most power.

Again, most care less about right and wrong. What they care about is power and how you can benefit them in some way, shape, or form.

“What’s in it for me?”

12. Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

They’re good at victim-blaming.

Evil people will blame you to protect one another from accountability. Moreover, they do it to protect their reputations.

Here’s something to think about. Most students in school get into two, maybe three fights in their entire twelve years of school. This sounds perfectly normal.

However, too many fights and people will likely label you a troublemaker. Teachers and school staff will see you as a problem child. And this goes whether or not your harassers provoked you.

Destroying your name with the school lessens your chances any chances of anyone listening to you. Your abusers can’t have you running and snitching.

Therefore, they may hit you first just to provoke you to fight. As soon as you hit back in self-defense, the bully draws everyone’s attention to you. And they make it look like you started it.

No one sees them hit you first. But they conveniently catch the tail end of it, when you hit back. Understand that this is how bullies set the stage.

The do this to protect themselves from discipline at school or work. Whereas, you get a bad reputation. Thus, it gives them the freedom to bully you again later.

This is also meant to silence you and make you afraid to report them or speak out about the harassment.

When people give you a bad rap, people won’t believe you when you try to get help.

Bystanders and people in authority will only think,

  • “Why would so many kids have it in for her if she’s not provoking them somehow?”
  • “Nobody likes him, so there has to be a reason that justifies it.”
  • “She’s a lowlife, so she deserves it!”

Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

People with bad reputations are the easiest to point the guilty finger at anytime a confrontation arises.

In other words, if people expect trouble to come from a certain place, that is where they’re going to look. Therefore, who’s going to look any further than the child with the worst reputation at school? Who’s going to look anywhere else other than the employee who isn’t a team player?

If you’re the one others suspect, the bullies get off scot-free.
Again, they provoke you to manipulate school staff and save their behinds from having to face repercussions.

Therefore, you don’t only need the confidence to fight bullying. You also need to know all about these types of people and how they operate.

The first step of defense is knowing the mindsets and intentions of bullies and the tactics they use.

13. Relationship is the determiner in many cases of bullying

Many times, if you’re a target of such torment, whether people believe you or not depends on their relationship with you and your abuser.

If the bully is someone they either like or love, they’ll act out of loyalty and take their word over yours. It won’t matter that the other person is in the wrong.

In fact, people may know the person is wrong. They may even witness the person’s bad behavior.

However, they’ll still may take that person’s side because that’s their friend or family member. Another possibility will be that they they dislike or may even hate them. But they dislike or hate you even more.

Therefore, they choose who they perceive to be the lesser of two evils. People tend to believe those they care about the most and disbelieve those they care about the least.

14. Why Do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

They feign sympathy and compassion for you in front of others.

It’s not easy for people to distinguish between the real bully and the victim. Bad people are good at making you look guilty.

They show only you the worst, most brutal, and evil sides of themselves. And they do it all while showing everyone else their best, sweetest, and most loving halves of their personalities.

Fake sympathy and false compassion are powerful weapons for bullies!

They may tell others, “I feel so terrible for Jackie. I sincerely hope she gets the help she needs before it’s too late.”

These types of people very sweetly accuse their victims of attacking them when it’s the exact opposite. Therefore, they can easily confuse people, causing them to not know who did what to who. This is one reason it’s so easy to blame the wrong person.

15. They’re are in positions of power.

Anytime you’re up against people in powerful positions, it only multiplies an already bad situation. Why? Because people tend to listen to those in power.

Their positions alone give them credit, even if they haven’t earned it. Sadly, people tend to follow these types of people blindly.

My advice to you is this: It pays to have friends and connections. If you don’t have them, find ways of making them. Do it even if you must establish those connections outside of the toxic workplace or learning environment.

Friends may not be able to help you with your situation in the toxic environment. But what they can do is help you feel better about yourself. Moreover, you won’t feel alone.

Also, establishing connections and relationships now may pay off in the long run. Why? Because if people target you at your job, chances are you won’t be working there for much longer.

And maybe your outside friends and connections just may work at your next job. Therefore, life will be much easier there. And you’re least likely to get blamed if you suffer bullying.

This post gave you all the answers to the question, “Why do bullies get away with bullying” so that you’ll have the knowledge you need to not only feel better, but use to your advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How Bullies Gain Power: 9 Astonishing Ways They Do It.

2. Social Bullying Examples: 7 Reasons Bullies Destroy Relationships

3. Stop Victim Blaming: 8 Reasons People Blame Targets for Bullying

bullied for being smart reddit

Bullied for Being Smart? Here are 5 Positive Ways to Look at It

Are you being bullied for being smart? Here are all the reasons you need to know. And these are reasons you should be proud of.

bullied for being smart

Many victims get bullied simply because they’re smart. Many bullies are smart too. However, they like to bully anyone who’s intelligence rivals theirs.

If you fall into this lucky category, you will learn all the reasons you get bullied for being smart.

Once you learn these details, you will feel so much better about yourself. At the same time, you will only pity your bullies.

This post is all about the reasons you’re bullied for being smart so that your self-esteem will get the boost it needs.

Bullied for Being Smart

When you have exceptional intelligence, it can attract bullying. However, don’t feel bad about yourself because you have a gift that few others have.

Both a Blessing and a Curse

You have a sharp BS detector and are able to see through fake people. Moreover, you may have the ability to see and behind their meanness. Realize that you have a special gift.

And you can use it to more easily avoid the pitfalls that bullies, shysters, and con artists set up for you.

However, having this gift can feel more like a curse. Although being awake and alert to lies, deceit, and bad intentions is both freeing and empowering, it can also be an excruciating and alienating journey.

Also, it can be lonely, confusing, and frightening. You often struggle as you try to process the insanity around you.

There is a reality that no one talks about. And that is the suffering that often goes along with having this kind of sight. In fact, you may even grieve for what you thought for so many years was the truth.

When you realize that everything you were taught turned out to be lies, it’s the most difficult pill to swallow.

Furthermore, when the people you once trusted and the principles you had turn out to be false, it can flip your life upside down. Its not easy to ditch the beliefs you once held, and the life you once lived.

Bullied for being Smart:

The Truth Hurts

Having your illusions shattered is never an enjoyable experience. However, with growth comes pain and discomfort and it doesn’t stop there.

With these newfound revelations, you will often find yourself grieving again. You’ll grieve the loss of relationships with people you thought were friends. Also, you’ll be disappointed in them because you thought they were smarter.

You’ll feel alone. Moreover, people will ridicule you. And not only by acquaintances and passers by but sometimes by friends and family! You’ll realize that you never had nearly as much in common with them as you originally thought.

Therefore, again, when you grow wise to bullshit, people will judge and mock you. Why? Because they may not see the things you do. Or, maybe, they do see it but don’t want to believe it.

Instead, they’re either living in denial or they’re too chicken to call it out.

You might even grieve the loss of your own ignorance. Why? Because ignorance is bliss and reality is harsh. Moreover, you might find yourself wishing that you were still just as ignorant as they are. Because, if you were, you’d still fit in with them.

Having the sense to see through all the smoke screens can be a lonely road to travel. There’s no sugarcoating it. Once you wise up to the realities of the world and the people around you, life can be brutal!

Bullied for being Smart:

Most People Can’t Handle the Truth

Furthermore, the ability to dive down into the deepest, darkest rabbit holes and to remain functioning in daily life is a skill that we don’t talk about enough.

I’ve lost many people I thought were friends. However, I still consider myself one of the lucky few. Why? Because most of my family and my small circle of true friends? They get it and they get me.

However, many of you aren’t so lucky. You’re struggling with feeling disconnected from your family and friends and it’s as though they exist in another world.

Just know that you’re not alone. Not only are you not alone, but you also have an entire team standing behind you. We may be separated by miles, but we’re deeply connected in purpose and spirit.

So, hold on to your faith and your dignity. Hold onto your truth and stand on it. Continue to be yourself and to press forward.

Know that we’re here and we’ve got you! Most importantly, know that God’s here and He’s got you!

Having the courage to stand up for your beliefs won’t be easy.

Now, more than ever, we must stand up for our God, our beliefs, and convictions. We must be true to ourselves, our hearts, and to the people who love us. Moreover, we must do it boldly and confidently. We must know ourselves inside and out.

In short, we must have the courage to be different. Why? Because the blessings of critical thinking can be dangerous nowadays.

Sadly, in the last ten years, this country has gotten so divided that people have lost family and those who were once close friends. All because they held onto their beliefs, convictions, and traditions.

I’ve lost a few friends myself. However, I’m not afraid to lose people. It’s only God’s way of removing the people who were imposters all along and never deserved to be in my life in the first place.

Hey! I know it’s hard. However, if some of the people you cared about turned on you these last few years, I want you to know that you did nothing wrong. Your beliefs and convictions are yours and you own them. Again, God is taking out your trash for you.

Therefore, sometimes, what is a blessing can feel like a curse. Some blessings require pain and sacrifice. But it’s always worth it in the end. And, who knows? You might end up with much more than you ever lost.

Bullied for being Smart:

Sometimes these things happen so that you’ll see who people really are.

Although quite painful, I truly believe that this last decade was a test. That’s right. It was a test to see if you’re strong enough to stand in your truth, no matter what it may cost you.

Therefore, never be afraid to be yourself, speak your truth, and risk losing people you think are friends.

Why? Because life can reveal so much to you. And among those revelations are the true faces of those you thought highly of.

Moreover, life can shed new light on the true intentions of a few so-called leaders, whom we thought were loyal to us.

Therefore, if nothing else, remember this. You don’t lose friends, you lose frauds.

Here are 5 positive ways to look at it.

1. Bullies always go after the best of The best

Being the best- having smarts, working hard, striving toward goals, and excelling at high levels all come at a high cost. A lot of people will resent you. Moreover, they may try to sabotage you.

You must realize that there’s usually a social penalty for smarts. This also goes for authenticity, hard work, creativity, and ethics. In fact, if you have any positive qualities, bullies will likely give you a difficult time over it.

2. Your bullies only bully you out of jealousy.

Jealousy is why peers don’t nominate you even if you deserve any awards and accolades. Also, it’s the reason they don’t recognize you for your successes.

These people may think you work too hard or too fast. Maybe they feel that you’re too passionate. Others may think you’re too perfect or excessively detailed.

Realize that jealousy, envy, and resentment are often disguised as cold silence and ignorance. However, you must see these things for what they are.

 They’re only intentional slights from classmates, coworkers, and superiors designed to hold you back. Peers who are secretly angered by your successes will only undermine by stealth silence.

Why? Because to do it openly would be too obvious. It would look to much like sour grapes. In other words, it would only show that these people feel inferior to you.

And most people are careful not to give off even the slightest stink that they might feel a little inferior.

3. Bullied for being Smart:

You raise the bar for everyone else.

When you’re smart, you tend to excel. You may reach heights no one else can reach. Therefore, you unwittingly raise the bar for everyone else.

For example, blue-collar workers often penalize those for working too fast. Classmates hate other classmates who get top scores. Peers covertly hate those who are record-breakers.

But why?

Again, it’s because any person who breaks records unwittingly raises the bar. Therefore they raise teacher or management expectations for the rest. They create new goals that are much harder to attain.

The best of the best only threaten the rest.

4. Bullies experience your intelligence as their inferiority.

In other words, in you, they see their flaws and imperfections reflected back at them.

Socially, it never pays to be a little too perfect in an imperfect world. You don’t score points by being a ray of light in an environment of dark souls.

To bullies, the feeling that someone else is better than them is uncomfortable. Moreover, it nags at them until they find a way- any way possible, to level the playing field.

Many times, people perceive the best to be the worst.

5. Bullied for Being Smart:

You’re not easy to manipulate.

They know that if they try to manipulate you, they won’t get very far. In other words, your bullies instinctively know that you’re smart enough to see through their mind games and facades.

Moreover, when you have high intelligence, you also know yourself. And to know yourself is to trust yourself. When you trust yourself, you trust what you see and experience.

This means that you’re wise to any lies and abuse when you see them. Therefore, you threaten their power.

Bullies hate anyone who has a chance of outsmarting them.

So, never feel bad for being smart! Ever! Know that your intelligence is a gift, and, that’s how you should look at it!

If you allow your bullies to make you feel bad for being smart, allow me to ask you the following question.

Would you rather be bullied for Being Smart or Pitied for Being a dummy?

I ask this question because many intelligent people try to hide their smarts for fear of bullying and hatred. They let others convince them that, because of their smarts, they come off as know-it-alls.

People tell you to dummy down because you’re “likely to make others feel bad about themselves.” They tell you to tone it down a little or you just might offend some people.

This is total BS!

I want you to know one thing right now! It is not your responsibility to make someone else feel good about themselves. Whether your intelligence offends others is not your problem. Their hatred of you is also not your problem.

Bullied for Being Smart:

Continue to be Your Smart Self

Understand that the reason why your intelligence may offend some people is because they are either jealous, intimidated, or insecure. It’s because of their own unaddressed psychological issues. And they’re only trying to lay their insecurity off on you.

Therefore, realize that your intelligence may tempt some to doubt their own smarts and mental capabilities. Also, it may provoke others to compare themselves to you.

Again, that’s not your responsibility. They are the ones doubting and questioning their own intelligence. They are the ones who are making comparisons.

You aren’t doing these things to them. They are doing it to themselves!

You aren’t responsible for someone else’s feelings.

Again, you are not responsible for another person’s self-esteem. Only they can do the inner work needed to raise their confidence levels. Therefore, if they’re too lazy to do that inner work, that’s on them!

Here’s another point I want to make: The hate that’s directed at you never feels good and can be frightening. But always remember that there’s dignity in being hated. On the other hand, there’s  no dignity in being pitied.

Yes, you read that correctly. When people hate you, you still have your dignity. But when they pity you, you’ve lost all dignity and respect!

Others may hate smart people, but they pity the foolish.

Therefore, never hide your intelligence from anyone. Let yourself stand out and shine. And never feel tempted to hide your brilliance because you’re afraid of being bullied, ridiculed, or hated by others. Instead, ask yourself,

“Would you rather be hated for being smart or pitied for being a dummy?”

This post was all about the reasons you’re being bullied for being smart so that you can feel better about yourself and continue being an inspiration to others.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims? Here are Your Answers.

2. What Do Bullies Fear Most? 10 Things that Terrify Bullies

3. How Bullies Gain Power: 9 Astonishing Ways They Do It.

Wallowing in Self Pity: 7 Good Reasons to Stop Doing It

If you’re a victim of bullying, do you want to know why you should stop wallowing in self pity? Here are all the reasons you need to know.

wallowing in self pity

Too many victims of bullying resort to wallowing in self pity when people bully them. It’s okay to feel hurt and it’s okay to cry. However, when you constantly feel sorry for yourself, you only make life worse for yourself.

Therefore in this post, you will learn why wallowing in self pity is counterproductive and that there are better ways to solve your problems.

Once you learn these important truth, you will seek better ways to overcome bullying.

This post is all about wallowing in self pity and why it’s not good for you so that you can begin handling bullying more constructively.

Wallowing in self pity

It’s okay to cry when someone hurts you. It’s okay to be hurt, angry, and sad. In fact, you need to allow yourself to feel.

Therefore, allow yourself to feel bad. Permit yourself to cry it out. Just don’t unpack your things and live in that dark place.

Never let the cruel words and actions of a bully alter your outlook on the world around you. And don’t allow them to cause you to distrust humanity or yourself!

Know that your bullies’ behavior does not reflect on you! It reflects on the bullies themselves and their issues. I realize that this isn’t always easy.

However, it all comes down to you. You are responsible for your successes and your happiness. Happiness is a choice. It’s not something that magically happens to only certain people.

1. Your bullies are cowards and they’re fighting their own demons.

They’re only fighting the wrong way. And their mistreatment of you is only proof of it.

In most cases, the reason why bullies point out your shortcomings is to distract people’s attention from their own. They’re so afraid that somebody will find out what their weaknesses are.

Bullies are notorious for projecting their flaws onto you to keep other people from seeing theirs. It’s pathetic when you think  about it.

And trust me, we all have imperfections. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t. Distraction and projection are how bullies operate.

They would be the top two tactics in the “How To Bully” handbook if there ever were such a guide. Understand that bullies bully out of only, fear and insecurity!

Therefore, never let your tormentors decide how you should feel about yourself. And never allow them to cause you to feel sorry for yourself.

2. Wallowing in Self-Pity:

Self-Pity is not attractive.

In fact, it’s socially repelling! I’m telling you this because there were times when I made the same mistake. And the only thing it did was bring more misery and drive people away.

So, I tried something different. I began countering everything with comebacks, affirmations, and positive thoughts.

When you begin to counter your bullies’ statements, their words won’t have such an effect on your self-esteem. In other words, your new, positive self-talk will become a buffer to the bullies’ insults and name-calling. Therefore, you won’t be nearly as hurt or saddened by it.

No matter what anyone says about you, you must look in the mirror every single day and convince yourself that you’re an awesome person. That you are the best, and sometimes, people treat the best the worst.

Moreover, you may need to have this self-talk every minute of every day. Why? Because you must do it often enough for it to sink in.

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, try positive self-talk. Begin praising yourself for all your good qualities. And know in your heart the good you bring to this world and the blessing you are to the people who love you.

Why? Because the more you love yourself and the less self-pity you live in, the easier it will be to find solutions. You’re worth it! Don’t you think?

3. Life Isn’t fair.

It’s the truth. It never has been and never will be. God deals each of us a hand of cards. Some people get a crappy hand and some, a lucky hand.

However, the trick is to play the hand you’re dealt and to play it wisely. Some people are born poor, some middle-class, and others are born rich.

Some are born with disabilities and others aren’t. One person may have access to certain things and another person may not. It’s the luck of the draw.

Nevertheless, you have the choice of whether to move up, stay where you are, or descend. In other words, if you don’t like where you are, you have the ability to move upward.

It may take a while. It may require years of hard work. But if you want it bad enough, you will do what you must do to achieve it. Complaining only keeps you stuck!

Therefore, empower yourself by ditching the word, “fair.”

4. Wallowing in self Pity:

No one owes you anything. You owe it to yourself.

Whether you’ve been mistreated and cheated, no one owes you anything. However, you do owe it to yourself. You have every right to pursue and achieve happiness.  And you can make a good life for yourself.

Only you are responsible for your life

Understand that nobody can achieve anything for you. Therefore, it’s your responsibility to get where you want to go.

Each of us has our own lives to improve and each person is responsible for their own destiny.

5. No one else will improve your life for you.

Governments really don’t care about you. Though they may try to legislate blessings, luck, and chance, they only do it out of their own self-interest.

Moreover, they cannot legislate fairness. You only have yourself to depend on and you should never depend on the government, your school, your parents, anyone else to improve your life.

You must do it all on your own by taking risks and doing the work required to reach your goals. On the other hand, whining and complaining gets you nowhere. Also, anger and bitterness only make things worse for you.

Today, I hear more and more whining, “it’s not fair.” I see people act out and throw tantrums, as if its going to get them somewhere.

Understand that this is victim-mentality. And those kinds of thought processes only serve to keep you down and out.

People need to grow up and accept that the world isn’t all unicorns, rainbows, fairies, and pixie dust. In short, life isn’t fair.

Sadly, I see many victims of bullying do this. Though I hate to admit it, I did the same once upon a time.

The only way you can take back your happiness is to banish the word, “fair” from your vocabulary. Then, work toward your goals. Stop depending on other people and entities to get you what you want.

And once you do, I guarantee that you’ll instantly empower yourself and be much happier.

6. Wallowing in Self Pity:

Complaining won’t help you any.

Moreover, when you whine and complain, you only focus on the problem and not a possible solution. This is why others don’t like, nor do they respect a complainer. If you need to get something off your chest, that’s okay. However, there’s a time and place for it.

Throughout my life, I’ve known such chronic complainers, that complaining seemed to be the default mode for them. They even whined after they found a solution to their problem.

“But it didn’t happen fast enough!” they might have said. To that, I wanted to say, “Hey, buddy! Nothing good comes quickly nor easily! Life’s tough! Get used to it!”

Moreover, I’ve even known whiners who really didn’t want a solution to their problems. They just wanted to gripe, thinking it would get rid of all that pinned-up energy and make them feel better. Sadly, I was guilty of these things when I was young.

whining and complaining always comes from powerlessness!

Understand that complaining comes from weakness. It stems from feelings of powerlessness and a victim-mentality.

Moreover, you only unleash all your anger and frustration. Not that it’s necessarily a bad thing every once in a while. Even the most resilient must vent every now and then.

Everyone has times when they must blow off a little steam. However, when you do it constantly, it becomes a problem.

The people around you will only get sick of listening to it. After a while they will lose respect for you.

Also, complaining invites bullying to come your way. Why? Because bullies will use it as a weapon against you. Therefore, all that complaining becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If you are a victim of bullying, I want you to realize that whining about it, rather than taking action against it, will make you an even bigger target!

Wallowing in Self Pity:

chronic complaining also stems from laziness and lack of personal responsibility.

Hey! I understand how you feel. You have every right to be angry. Being bullied sucks and it hurts. I get that.

However, as I said earlier, complaining comes from powerlessness and weakness. Moreover, it comes from laziness and lack of personal responsibility.

Complaining alone does nothing to solve the problem. You must take action.

On the other hand, if you’re an empath and you hear someone else constantly complaining, it may be tempting to lend the person your ear. This is a bad idea because you’re not helping the person.

You may be enabling them to complain more. Also, you might be setting yourself up to be their go-to person anytime they need to unload.

As a result, the person won’t feel better. They’ll only drain your energy.

7. You only alienate people who might otherwise help you.

In other words, others won’t want to be around you. Moreover, you’ll kill any support you might otherwise have if you took action instead of having a pity party.

Only victims complain, targets take action. You’ll score more points by doing something about the bullying than you will by whining and complaining about it.

When you’re a target of bullying and not a victim, you understand that life doesn’t have to be fair. Moreover, you take action by standing up for yourself and reporting it.

And, in doing that, you empower yourself and continue to stand strong. Therefore, if you have a problem, find solutions.

Instead of consistently whining and complaining, begin taking action. Empower yourself. Be your own hero!

This post was all about wallowing in self pity and why you should take action and find solutions instead.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters

2. How to Overcome Victim Mentality: 5 Proven Mind Hacks

3. Negative Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: 9 Ways it Plagues Victims of Bullying

there's always hope

There’s Always Hope: 11 Things to Remember When People Bully You

If you’re a victim of bullying, know that there’s always hope and that you can overcome it. Here are several things you need to remember when people bully you.

there's always hope

In this post you will learn that there’s always hope when people bully you. Moreover, you will know that as long as you stay alive, this sad chapter in your life won’t last forever.

Once you learn all these things, you’ll want to fight so that you can look forward to a better future.

The purpose of this post is to assure you that there’s always hope when you’re being bullied. Also, it’s to give you encouragement and let you know that your life won’t always be this way. You can overcome bullying and a wonderful life is waiting for you on the other side of it.

There’s always hope

Things may seem hopeless now. But take heart. You won’t have to deal with bullying forever. Life does get better!

Hope, Your Best Ally Against Bullying

Bullying is a war unlike no other. It’s the fight of your life. It’s a battle in which there’s no clear cut enemy.

Bullying is a situation in which hope is your only ally. Don’t lose it! Because, in losing it, you also lose morale and the strength to keep going.

Hope enables you to look to the future. It gives you strength and the wisdom to know that whatever you endure in the present will eventually pass.

It encourages resilience and gives you the endurance to go on. Hope gives you confidence. And with confidence comes the determination to reach the finish line and win the race.

Hope opens doors. It’s that still, small voice that whispers, “Keep going. You’ve got this!” Holding onto hope fuels success in helping you to attain your goals and desires. It’s the will to persevere during the toughest of times and go after your dreams in life.

Never lose hope. Because if you lose it, there’s nothing left.

There’s Always Hope:

Please Hold On! The Best is Yet to Come!

People may bully you now but they won’t always. Although the bullying is intense- even unbearable, the struggle is only temporary. And I do not say this lightly.

Some of you may be thinking… “But she doesn’t understand! Nobody understands!”

“She’s isn’t suffering, and she doesn’t understand the hell I go through every day at work or at school!”

However, I do. Why? Because, once upon a time, I was stuck in the same spot that you are in today.

I know what it is like to want to smile, laugh, sing, and dance only for others beat it out of you. Also, I understand the pain of wanting to believe in yourself and see your own value.

You try to feel good about yourself, only for others to repeatedly and seemingly deliberately drum into your head that you are nothing.

I Feel Your Pain because I Experienced it.

To want to speak and use your voice, only for people to silence you! You want to just live in peace but others won’t let you.

 They only threaten physical harm, further degradation and humiliation. School staff threatens suspension or expulsion. Your supervisor may threaten you with the loss of your job and livelihood.

Moreover,  others may sabotage your opportunities! I know all too well the desire to move forward and go places, only for bullies to hold you back.

To want to escape the torment, only to be stuck in a toxic environment with toxic people, against your will! I know the horror of knowing that others curse your very existence and bombard you with death threats.

I know what it feels like to have others force you to sacrifice your own needs and wants for their own satisfaction! And to see others getting gratification and entertainment- all at your expense!

I know what it’s like to be marginalized, shut out, and devalued as a person. Additionally, I know what it’s like to even be slapped, kicked, beaten, scorned, disregarded, walked on!

There’s Always Hope:

“Are you dead yet?”

It is a feeling of being run over by a truck, whose driver then stops, throws it into reverse, and backs over you again. The driver then shifts back into drive and mows over you- yet again. He then stops the truck, opens the door, sticks his head out, and asks, “Are you dead yet?”

Bullies don’t only want to hurt you, they want to destroy you.

And any signs of life- any whimper or movement only encourages the driver to close the door, shift into reverse again, and back over you again. He just keeps running and backing over you until you finally succumb to the trauma and die.

Yes. This is akin to what targets of bullying endure. Bullies want to destroy you. And it seems that they won’t relent until they are sure that they have done just that.

But know this. You will not have to deal with these people forever, and Karma does repay – in spades! If you keep believing in yourself, you will become successful and happy. And when you finally get there, your bullies won’t even matter to you.

The Resilience of The Target of Bullying

Understand that we, as humans, know what we need to nourish and flourish. Therefore, if we’re not getting what we need and want in our current environment, we’ll get it somewhere else.

Targets of bullying are like flowers that lean toward the sunlight to grow. So, if you’re a target of bullying, you will find someplace where you’re accepted. You will find friends. You’ll find love, and you’ll find happiness.

My bullies weren’t able to keep me bullied and broken. After I moved to a new school, their power ended.

I was no longer within their reach. As badly as they wanted to, they couldn’t keep me under their bootheel forever. I moved on to a place with people who accepted me as I was.

Understand that bullies can only keep you down for so long. They can’t do it forever. There’s always somewhere people will accept you – just for being your awesome self. Always remember that. There’s always a better tomorrow!

There’s Always Hope:

If You’re a Target of Bullying, Here’s a Message for You

Many bullied kids (and adults) are dying by suicide. This should hit home with many people because the suicide rate among bullied kids and teens is astronomical!

It certainly hits home with me because I attempted suicide at age fourteen after being bullied for several years. But I survived, and things got much better once I left that toxic learning environment I was bullied in.

Therefore, I want you to know these truths.

1. You can overcome bullying and move on to a better life.

Know that You CAN Overcome Bullying!

You are beautiful! Smart! Awesome! And one day, you will cross paths with people who will see your worth and love you.

Moreover, they will love you unconditionally – just for being YOU! You will find a teacher, school, supervisor, or employer who will see the good you bring to the table.  A

These people will view you as the asset you truly are! Don’t give up. You are worth fighting for!

2. The situation you’re in is only one chapter of your life, not the entire book.

Whether you’re being bullied in school or the workplace, know that this is only one chapter. It’s a trial. Therefore, things won’t always be this way.

You’ll move through it and better days will come. I promise!

3. There’s Always Hope:

There are better ways to handle bullying other than taking your own life.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Moreover, if you take your own life, your bullies automatically win!

But as long as you have breath in you, chances are that your life will get better. Moreover, these people won’t always be in your life.

Therefore, don’t let them win. Stay strong and push forward. Know that life eventually gets better!

4. You must love yourself regardless of what others think.

Loving yourself in an environment that hates you is an act of rebellion. Therefore, be a rebel. Continue to love yourself, no matter what.

Why? Because it will pay huge dividends in the end.

5. You are just as good as anyone else, regardless of what people tell you.

All you have to do is believe it with every fiber of your being. Never allow your bullies to make you feel inferior.

Hold onto your self-belief!

6. There’s Always Hope:

You can do anything you set your mind to if you believe in yourself.

Self-belief is powerful! Therefore, if you have a goal, work on it until you achieve it. Don’t give up!

7. You Can educate yourself about bullies.

This means you must learn their mindsets, their tactics, and the damage they can do. Therefore, read and study everything you can about bullying.

The more you know about bullies and how they think and operate, the better off you’ll be. Why? Because knowledge is power! Therefore, the more you learn about bullies, the better you’ll be able to protect yourself against them.

8. Recognize the beginning symptoms of low self-esteem and find ways to fight it.

The key to protecting your self-esteem is to know when it’s about to take a nosedive. That’s the time to double down on your self-belief.

Moreover, it’s also the time for self-care. Therefore, show yourself compassion and do the things that make you feel good. It’s the only way you’re keep your self-esteem healthy.

9. Know that if bullies take your confidence, they can alter the course of your life.

Your life is yours. Therefore, when people bully you, you must fight like the devil to keep your confidence intact.

Why? Because it could be the difference between a life that’s rewarding or a life that’s difficult.

10. There’s Always Hope:

You have more power than you know.

Power isn’t only power you have. It’s also power you think you have. Never allow bullies to fool you into thinking you’re powerless.

Keep standing up to bullies no matter what. That’s how you keep your power.

11. Confidence is the key to a better and more rewarding life.

When bullies are attacking you at every turn, it’s easy to lose confidence. Moreover, it’s easy to lose that positive attitude you once had.

If you aren’t careful, you’ll begin to doubt yourself and give up on your goals.

Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying, I want to encourage you to hold your head high and keep the faith. Stay true to your own heart and follow your dreams. Know that it won’t last forever and one day soon, things are going to change for the better! I guarantee it!

There’s always hope! the purpose of this post is to give you the encouragement you need to stay in the fight and continue looking forward to a better future.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

2. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

3. Encouraging Words for Bullying: You Can Overcome!

How to Deal with Bullies: 7 Do’s and Don’ts You Need to Know

‘Want to know how to deal with bullies? There’s a right way and a wrong way to handle them. Here are the 7 do’s and don’ts you need to be aware of.

how to deal with bullies

Bullies have all kinds of tactics in their bag of tricks. They have tactics you probably haven’t thought about yet. Moreover, there’s a wrong and right way to deal with them.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to deal with bullies. You will learn the wrong and right ways to handle them so that you know what measures to avoid and which to use.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be better able to make yourself less a target and handle bullies wisely.

This post is all about how to deal with bullies so that you can take care of yourself in any bullying situation.

How to Deal with Bullies

In order to better know the right ways to handle bullying, you must first know what ways to avoid. Here are the wrong ways of dealing with bullying that you need to know.

The Don’ts:

1. Don’t Ask them, “Why”.

Why? Because they will never tell you why they treat you so inhumanely. Understand that keeping you guessing is half the power bullies have over you.

Bullies are notorious for withholding information. In fact, withholding information is a silent bullying tactic all it’s own. Therefore, they’ll never tell you why they bully you.

In some cases, the bullies, themselves, don’t really know why. However, if they did, they probably wouldn’t tell you the truth.

So, why won’t they tell you the reasons they mistreat you?

Simple. It’s to keep you confused and bewildered. Keeping you befuddled is a power all its own. Because when you’re confused, you can’t think clearly.

And if you can’t think clearly, the less likely you are to figure out what to do to escape the bullies and their abuse. Or worse- how to defend yourself, conquer your bullies, and win your power back.

Keeping you confused is a huge chunk of the power bullies have over you.

Understand that bullies will never relinquish their power. Never! And to be truthful as to why they bully you would be like giving secrets to the enemy.

To be honest and tell you what they hate about you would be like giving their power away to you, and they’ll be damned if they ever!

I want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with you. You must know in your heart that you never did anything to deserve the brutal treatment your bullies continuously dish out to you.

They are the messed up ones. They are the ones with the problem. Moreover, they are the ones who will have to answer for what they’re doing one day, either in this life or the next.

Therefore, instead of focusing your attention on trying to find out why your bullies are giving you problems, focus on self-care.

Instead of asking, “Why me?” ask, “What can I do to take care of myself?” or “What can I do to remove myself from the situation?”

Think about what options you have and weigh each of them carefully. Then quietly begin making plans to get out of there as soon and as safely as possible.

2. How to Deal with Bullies:

Don’t give them any apology. Ever!

For anything!

Why? Because bullies will only see your apologies as weakness. And you can never appease a bully. Realize that when you apologize to a bully, you’re taking responsibility for things that aren’t your fault.

And when you give bullies apologies that are undeserved, you take accountability for their deplorable behavior. Furthermore, you’re giving your bullies exactly what they want and they know it.

Bullies and abusers will try to force you to apologize for something you know isn’t your fault. In other words, they’ll try to make you sorry for things that are beyond your control.

Moreover, they’ll even try and make you apologize for something that doesn’t need an apology. Therefore, respond but don’t apologize.

In other words, don’t say, “I’m sorry,” or “I apologize.”

Here are ways you can respond to bullies who pull this crap. And these are very powerful responses. When you use these, you respond to these bullies without accepting blame. You also respond with strength and power.

  • You’ll get over it.
  • You’ll be alright.
  • By the end of the day, this won’t even matter.
  • It’s no big deal.
  • This isn’t a crisis. Everything’s going to be okay.

3. How to Deal with Bullies:

Don’t explain anything to them.

When having a conversation with bullies and abusers, they will often try to trick you into explaining yourself to them. This is a trap because, no matter how you much explaining you do, they’ll never accept anything you have to say.

It doesn’t matter how logical your explanation may be, bullies will only pretend that they don’t understand. They’ll only keep challenging and criticizing your explanations just to get you to give even more of them.

Know that they do this on purpose.

You must see this tactic for what it is and what it’s meant to do. It’s all designed to throw you off balance. Moreover, bullies want to keep you running in an endless hamster wheel of explanations and justifications.

Therefore, the important thing to bear in mind is that this is a trick! Bullies really don’t need an explanation from you. In fact, they don’t even want one.

They only pretend to want it. What your bullies really want is to bamboozle you and keep you interacting with them.

Why? Because the longer your bullies can keep you engaging with them, the more chances they have to twist the things you say. Then, they can use them as proverbial bullets to fire back at you later.

Therefore, don’t explain a damn thing to them. You must realize that you don’t own them any explanations. You don’t owe them squat!

How to Deal with Bullies:

Do’s

1. Do stand up to them.

You must stand up to bullies. Never ignore them and never handle them with diplomacy or politeness.

Remember that bullies don’t respond to politeness, diplomacy, or pleasantries. They only respond to strength and power. Therefore, you must communicate to them in the only language they understand.

In other words, you must respond with strength and power! And sometimes that means being brutal!

For instance, physical bullies only understand the language of fists. So, you must be prepared to put up your fists and fight if necessary!

2. Gather your own evidence of bullying.

If you’re a victim of bullying, it’s crucial that you get evidence of it. Keep a daily journal and document the bullying, using the 5W Method.

Also, save any electronic evidence of cyberbullying. Why? Because if they bully you at school or work, they’ll probably find you online and bully you there as well.

Therefore, save any mean and threatening texts, emails, social media posts, and private messages on three or more flash drives.

Furthermore, depending on the laws in your state, you may be able to wear a body cam or record the bullying on a digital audio recorder.

And save any medical records and doctor’s reports if you ever need medical attention because of a physical bully.

3. How to Deal with Bullies:

Report the bullying to authorities.

Report the bullying to the principal, human resources, or the police. If the bullying is happening at work, fill out a grievance form. They also have bullying forms at school that you can fill out.

If all else fails, report the bullying to the police and get a restraining order. They may not do anything. However, the idea is to establish a paper trail.

And be sure to get copies of the paperwork. If there are reports on file and copies of them in your possession, you will establish evidence of a pattern of bullying.

This is a must in case you have to take it to court later.

Here’s another thing I want to mention. When you report bullying, schools and workplaces may try to assure you that they’ll do an internal investigation.

However, most of them don’t. And if they do conduct an investigation, it’s usually a sloppy one. This is why you must quietly do your own investigation.

This may require a lot of work on your part. Moreover, you may have to go through many channels. You will need patience because it will take some time.

But when you’re being bullied, you can’t afford to be lazy. Be proactive. Gather your own evidence. Be your own detective. I guarantee you that it will be worth it in the long run!

In Closing:

There are right and wrong ways to handle bullies. However, if you do everything right, you can overcome bullying. And you can emerge a winner!

This post was all about how to deal with bullies so that you can know what to do and what not to do when you encounter bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying

2. Saying Sorry Too Much: 4 Reasons You Do and How to Stop It

3. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond

Bullies Eat Their Own: 3 Reasons Bullies Bully within Their Group

Would you believe that bullies usually eat their own? ‘Want to know why? Here are all the details you need to know about.

bullies eat their own

This happens at school and in the workplace. When there’s are no targets available to degrade and dehumanize, bullies will begin turning on one of their own in the peer group.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why bullies eat their own so that you can use it to your advantage.

Once you learn all about this strange phenomenon, you will be more knowledgeable about the mentality of bullies. Also, you will find a way to use it to your advantage.

This post is all about why bullies eat their own so that you can have more knowledge about the mindsets of bullies.

Bullies Eat Their Own

Understand that even the inner circle of the clique has a pecking order. Every clique has a leader, second in command, third and so forth (depending on how many members in the group), all the way down to the bottom rat.

Therefore, if you aren’t available, the members of the clique will turn on that bottom rat and they will be the target of the day.

And if it so happens that the bottom rat’s not available either, then the poor sucker on the second rung up is the one who will catch hell. And so on.

Crap always rolls downhill and lands on whoever is unfortunate enough to be in the basement. Moreover, what was really scandalous is that sometimes, the typical victim didn’t have to be unavailable.

If you pay attention, you can stand back and watched a lot of back-biting between the members of the bully cliques. You’ll notice that a few may go out with the other friends’ boyfriends or girlfriends behind their backs.

You’ll then notice how they smile in their faces at school or work the following Monday. However, stay out of it. Let them backstab each other all they want.

It’s their business and you know that any sane person would no part of such strange, twisted, and dysfunctional friendships.

Bullies Eat Their Own:

Sometimes, not being a part of “the clique” is a blessing!

You should consider yourself damn lucky not to be in with the cool crowd!

Why? Because, with them it’s back to back ego trips. While most targets, followers, and wannabes consider it a curse, you should consider it a blessing.

You can deal with not being in the in-crowd, that’s fine and dandy. The only thing you should have an issue with is when none of those creeps will leave you alone.

When they won’t go on about their business, and get a life, you should realize that it’s because of their own issues.

Bullying is all about power!

Remember that bullies must always have a victim. In other words, they must have someone to abuse.

Bullies need a person to look down on, to dump on, and to tell what to do and ride roughshod over. Therefore, if their usual targets aren’t available on any given day, the bullies at the top will turn on the lowest members of their own group and continue demeaning them until their regular targets return.

This is yet another reason why you should never accept being in one of the in-cliques. Must you be in one to feel validated? No.

You’re just as awesome without them. You’re also freer! Because if you’re not in a clique, you don’t have to live up to anyone’s unwritten rules or standards. Therefore, you’re free to be yourself and do your own thing. And there is nothing better!

Why Bullies Eat Their Own

Bullies can’t live without a power rush. Therefore, again, they want to have a target or a victim. In fact, they need targets. To feel almighty and powerful, bullies must have people to dominate and subjugate.

And having power over is extremely addictive to them. It’s like a drug. It’s why bullies repeatedly bully their targets over a a long period of time, years even.

Because that “drug” wears off rather quickly and it won’t be long before your bullies come back for their next “fix.”

However, what happens when you finally realize who your bullies really are behind the tough facades they put up? What happens when the masks fall off, and your bullies’ cowardice and insecurity come to light?

Oooo! This is beginning to sound delicious, isn’t it?

Here’s what happens. Once you see the real people behind the masks, your confidence will get a big boost. You’ll realize that you aren’t and never were the one with the issues.

In this, you will find that it was the bullies who had the issues all along. Then, you will finally have the courage to give the bullies the old proverbial middle finger and tell them all to go eat a fat one.

The Sudden Power Shift

Moreover, the power dynamic will take a sudden shift and the scales will automatically tip in your favor. In other words, you will no longer be a victim. Remember that the best way to dis-empower bullies is to empower yourself.

Because, once you stop being a victim, bullies no longer have power over you. Therefore, they must go search for another victim.

When these bullies spot several potential victims, they’ll test the waters by performing several tests on these “potentials.” They will test these potential targets by watching them closely and launching subtle attacks and insults just to see how they react.

However, what will the bullies do next, when things don’t go quite the way they expect? What happens when their potentials also give them the double middle finger?

Uh-oh, now they can’t find someone they can target! Curses! Now, what’s a poor bully to do? Simple. They begin eating their own. In other words, they turn on a member of their in-group.

That’s right! Once the bullying in-group runs out of targets on the outside, they have no choice but to turn their bullying inward and start bullying people within their group.

Remember that bullies need a target victim. They need someone to dominate and subjugate to have power because they can’t get power any other way.

Without someone to ride roughshod over, to tell what to do, and to exert control over, bullies feel powerless. And you know what? They are!

Bullies Eat Their Own:

Here are 3 reasons bullies bully within their in-group.

1. Power Struggle.

Bullies will fight like hell to be on top. And if that means bullying members of their own group to do it, don’t think they won’t.

It’s human nature. Everybody wants to be on top. And if they can’t, they’ll do everything they can to stay off the bottom.

Therefore, the top two or three bullies may do things to each other to get on top. Or they may take turns bullying the bottom rats to compete with one another on who’s the toughest.

2. Their primary victim isn’t available.

When their usual victim is no longer available, bullies must search far and wide to find a replacement. In other words, when a victim finally leaves the toxic environment, it puts bullies right back to square one.

Therefore, again, they must find someone else to be their victim. And if they can’t find one, they’ll turn on one of the members of their in-group.

Understand that once a victim leaves, the bullies’ power goes with them. Without power, bullies don’t know what to do with themselves.

Here’s another thing to note. Bullies often become very angry when their target victim transfers or moves away. Why? You may wonder.

Again, it’s because they lose power over you. Understand that, bullies have a sick, twisted obsession with their victims. Therefore, if bullies have grown comfortable with jerking you around and you up and leave, the game is over. They lose power over you.

You’re out of their reach and they can’t handle it.

It’s why abusive partners won’t let their victims leave. Once the abused partner is gone, so is the power the abuser had over them. It’s the same with bullies.

And it’s the reason the thought of you leaving terrifies them.

3. Bullies Eat Their Own:

The victim pool is sparse or has shrunken.

I’ve said it many times before. Bullies don’t only want victims. They need them! Therefore, if the victim pool is non-existent, they will create victims for themselves. And this usually requires that they select someone in their friend group.

Once the selected victim leaves, it basically turns the entire environment on it’s ear. People will begin turning on each other and there will be a lot of in-fighting.

So, see this for what it is. Bullying is an obsession. It’s all about having power over someone else.

This post is all about the reasons bullies eat their own to give you another reason to feel good if you’re a victim of bullying and finally decide to get the hell out of dodge.

1. What Do Bullies Fear Most? 10 Things that Terrify Bullies

2. Social Bullying Examples: 7 Reasons Bullies Destroy Relationships

3. How to Deal with Physical Bullies

Encouraging Words for Bullying: You Can Overcome!

If you’re being bullied, I want to give you some encouraging words for bullying. Also, you need to know why you deserve better and why the bullying isn’t your fault. Here are some truths you need to hear so that you can feel better and stronger.

encouraging words for bullying

When people target you for bullying, you hear mostly destructive and negative words.

Therefore, in this post, you will find encouraging words for bullying so that you can finally see yourself for the wonderful human being you are. Moreover, you’ll realize that the bullying you suffer won’t last forever and there will come a day when you won’t even have to see your bullies’ faces anymore.

Once you learn all about these exciting probabilities, you will feel so much better. Also, you will look forward to a future with true friends who love you for you.

This post will give you encouraging words for bullying that you suffer. Moreover, it will remind you that you, as much as anyone else, deserve happiness and fulfillment. Lastly, it will assure you that what you’re going through is only temporary and that brighter days are ahead of you.

Encouraging Words for Bullying

People may bully you now but they won’t always. Although the bullying is intense- even unbearable, the struggle is only temporary.

I know what you’re going through because I’ve been there. You want to speak and be heard, but you’re only told to shut up by your classmates or coworkers.

You want to just live in peace. However, no one will let you. They only threaten physical harm, further degradation and humiliation.

School staff may threaten suspension or expulsion. HR at work may threaten to terminate you. Your supervisor may also threaten you with the loss of your job and livelihood.

Moreover, others may sabotage your opportunities! I know all too well the desire to move forward and go places, only for bullies to hold you back.

You only want to escape the torment. However, you’re stuck in a toxic environment with toxic people, against your will! I know the horror of knowing that others curse your very existence and bombard you with death threats.

I know what it feels like to have others force you to sacrifice your own needs and wants for their own satisfaction! And to see others getting gratification and entertainment- all at your expense.

Also, I know what it’s like to be marginalized, shut out and devalued as a person. Additionally, I know what it’s like to even be slapped, kicked, beaten, scorned, disregarded, walked on!

Bullies Don’t only want to hurt you. They want to destroy you!

It is a feeling of being run over by a truck, whose driver then stops, throws it into reverse, and backs over you again. The driver shifts back into drive and mows over you- yet again.

He then stops the truck, opens the door, sticks his head out, and asks, “Are you dead yet?”
And any signs of life- any whimper or movement only encourages the driver to close the door, shift into reverse again, and back over you again.

Therefore, he just keeps running and backing over you until you finally succumb to the trauma and die.

Yes. This is akin to what targets of bullying endure. Bullies want to destroy you, and it seems that they won’t relent until they are sure that they have done just that.

But know this. You will not have to deal with these people forever, and Karma does repay- in spades! If you keep believing in yourself, you will become successful and happy.

And when you finally get there, your bullies won’t even matter to you.

Encouraging Words for Bullying:

Know that You CAN Overcome Bullying!

You are beautiful! Smart! Awesome! And one day, you will cross paths with people who will see your worth and love you. Even better, they will love you unconditionally- just for being YOU!

You will find a teacher, school, supervisor, or employer who will see the good you bring to the table. And these people will view you as the asset you truly are!
Don’t give up. You are worth fighting for!

There is Life After Bullying

People may bully you now. They may taunt you, call you ugly names and physically beat you. They may humiliate you, and turn others against you. Those around you may make you feel sad, alone, unattractive, and rejected in the present.

But rest assured, it won’t always be this way.

Take it from someone who has been there. I had no friends in middle school nor high school until I finally transferred to my new high school during my senior year.

Once I left *Oakley High School and began attending *Roseburg High School, that’s when life began. And I took back my power and started rebuilding every part of me that my bullies from the old school had torn down.

Leaving Oakley was the free feeling you get after walking away from a toxic and abusive boyfriend.

Encouraging Words for Bullying:

As an adult, my confidence and self-esteem blossomed.

Today, I’m a very happy adult woman and have so much to be thankful for. I have a family of my own. I enjoy my job and am comfortable in my own skin. I’ve accomplished more than I thought I ever would.

I also have grown to love myself- imperfections and all.

I don’t worry about what others think of me, and I permit myself to be me and to say no when I don’t want to get involved in or do something that doesn’t feel right to me.

These are freedoms that I will never again give up. Not without one hell of a fight!

Therefore, don’t Give Up! There’s beauty on the other side of bullying
I want you to know that the bullying you’re subjected to now will not last. And there’s a beautiful life waiting for you once it’s over.

So, whatever you do, don’t give up! Stay your course, and keep fighting. Hold on to your faith and your dignity with everything you have.

It may not seem like it now, but the best is yet to come, and the right people will find you.
Today, I’m surrounded by family and friends who love and accept me for me.

Moreover, I have friends I never have to explain anything to and who love my flaws and quirks along with my good qualities. I’m so secure with being myself that I can make fun of myself and have a good time doing it.

I’m relaxed, worry-free, and best of all, safe! I’ve found my group, and you will find yours. And once you find them, they’ll be well worth the wait!

You’re worth fighting and living for. Don’t give up now. Stick around! It gets better! Much better!

Encouraging Words for Bullying:

8 Things You Must Always Remember If You’re a Target of Bullying

1. It’s Not your fault.

Realize that you can never control someone else’s behavior. People have their own minds and they will do what they want. Therefore, you’re not responsible for anyone else’s actions but your own.

Don’t let your bullies blame you for their bad behavior!

2. There is nothing wrong with you.

Understand that the issue isn’t with you. It’s them. Anyone who sets out to harm someone else always has the problem.

Also, no one is perfect. We all have flaws and quirks. Therefore, embrace yours. Never allow bullies to make you feel bad over an imperfection.

If it’s something that you can change and that you want to change, then change it. However, if you can’t, then accept and embrace it.

3. You don’t have the issue. Your bullies do.

Again, you don’t have the problem. Your bullies do. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be so hell bent on hurting and destroying another human being.

4. Encouraging Words for Bullying:

It’s not about you. It’s about them.

In other words, bullying comes from self-servitude. Bullies bully to hide their own insecurities and keep up an image.

So, it’s about them. They’re only trying to make it about you.

5. You have value.

Everyone has value, even you. Realize that you’re just as good as the next person. You are beautiful just the way you are.

And you’re worthy of love and friendship. There will come a day when the right people come along and they will love you for you.

The things your bullies bully you for now will be the things people love you for later! Even now, you still have people who love you and believe in you.

6. You are stronger and braver than your bullies ever will be.

Bullies are cowards. The reason they bully you is to make themselves look bigger and better than you. Also, they do it to hide their own weaknesses.

Therefore, you are much stronger and braver than your bullies ever will be. Why? Because you don’t have to resort to such meanness. And that alone makes it so.

Keep being your awesome self!

7. You’re more powerful than you realize

You can do a lot more than you think you can. Moreover, you’re much smarter than they give you credit for. Realize that you’re a threat to your bullies’ power.

Also, know that most bullying comes from jealousy, fear, or insecurity. And the best are usually treated the worst.

Therefore, know that you’re here for a great purpose!

8. Life always gets better.

It may not seem like it at present, but life will eventually get better. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

Therefore, please hold on. The best is yet to come!

The purpose of this post was to give you encouraging words for bullying you suffer. stay in the fight. don’t throw in the towel just yet! you never know what the future will bring.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Be Happy Be Yourself: 3 Benefits You Reap When You Stop Caring What Others Think

2. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

3. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

mobbing in the workplace

Mobbing in the Workplace: How it Progresses, Step-by-Step

‘Want to know how mobbing in the workplace progresses step by step? Here are all the dirty but tiny details you need to know.

mobbing in the workplace

In this post, you will learn all about mobbing in the workplace. Also, you will learn how it begins and how it progresses, step by tiny step, in chronological order so that you’ll know what to expect if it ever happens to you.

Once you learn all the small details, you will be better able to predict it and, more importantly, outflank workplace bullies when they come for you.

This post is all about mobbing in the workplace so that you’ll be better prepared when workplace bullies set their sights on you.

Mobbing in the workplace

What is Mobbing?

Mobbing is extreme bullying by large groups. It can involve an entire school, workplace, or community.

The mob often acts under the influence of a ringleader or someone in a position of power. Mobbing almost always happens out of retaliation. Maybe the target became fed-up with being bullied and finally spoke out. Maybe they did something about it.

However, most people resort to mobbing when they’re pissed off at someone and want to teach them a lesson.

Mobbing has other names as well. People often refer to it as collective bullying.

Remember that bullies and their followers expect the target to stay quiet about the abuse. They may even demand that he bow down to and submit to it.

And when a targeted individual stands up to the bullies, they’ll punish them by working everyone else into a mob.

Chronic Bullying is Mobbing

Bullying becomes Chronic when the bullying has gone on over time. Moreover, once bullies repeat the behavior for any length of time,  it escalates to a dangerous level. It doesn’t take long for bullying to reach epic proportions.

After a while, bullies grow so comfortable with bullying you that they skyrocket the torment. Moreover, they pursue you obsessively and non-stop.

When there’s chronic bullying, there’s usually no accountability. And where there’s no accountability, there’s no incentive to stop.

Authorities refuse to address the bullies’ behavior. Then, the bullies become brazen and cocky. Therefore, their actions grow in strength, frequency, and level of cruelty.

Also, the bullies’ apathy toward you grows to a point where they lose all empathy. Consequently, they come to feel nothing but blind hatred and fury toward you.

Bullies and bystanders take the attitude that anything they do to you, no matter how cruel or dangerous, is good. Why? Because, to them, you have no value, and your life is worth nothing.

Bullying at work usually happens at the behest of a bully in power.

Bullies in power usually have followers and minions backing them up. Moreover, they enlist these human worker bees to do their dirty work.

Bullying becomes mobbing when an entire group unites to mob one person. And the bullying becomes so significant, so ingrained, and so severe that it seemingly takes on a life of its own.

Therefore, there’s no stopping it at this stage.

Members of the bullying group become drunk on their own power. Furthermore, bullying and tormenting you is all they can focus on.

Instead of the bullies controlling their evil emotions and actions, their feelings and actions begin to control them! Your bullies are so blinded by senseless rage that their very hatred controls their every move.

Mobbing in the Workplace:

When Bullying Morphs into Mobbing

They have become so addicted to power and control that they must constantly bully you to get their fix. It’s the only way they can maintain the high that this power gives them.

Understand that when bullying becomes mobbing, bullies don’t see you as a human being. They see you as so worthless and inferior that, you don’t deserve oxygen, much less any respect.

This is why mobbing is dangerous. Because, if you’re a victim of it, you the chance of either dying by suicide or murder. Yes, bullies do murder their victims.

This is why it’s so important to get out of the environment any time you suffer mobbing. Transfer to another school. Go to work for another company, or move to another area.

Never stay in an environment that hates you. It isn’t worth the cost to your mental health! The only way you’ll ever find peace is to leave without telling anyone. Only then will you be safe and have peace of mind.

Here’s a description of mobbing:

A large group of people (or mob) targets you because you opened your mouth about their abuse. Slowly, over time, they become increasingly aggressive.

Also, the number of attackers grows until they strip you of every ounce of power and completely isolate you.

Group aggression, or collective bullying, serves to reinforce a shared negative view of you. Moreover, this happens regardless of your prior value or reputation.

Vicious gossip about you circulates throughout the environment. People stick destructive labels to you and throw damaging accusations at you until they completely isolate you.

The mob will expand to include several teachers and school staff if you’re a victim of mobbing at school. Also, managers and supervisors may join the mob if you’re a target at work.

Bullies may even encourage people who are mostly peaceful and kind to join in. In other words, those who normally treat others with kindness may hate you.

Again, a bully in power directs them to gossip about you. Moreover, they instruct them to bully and abuse you.

Therefore, even the sweetest, most compassionate people can suddenly become brutal and nasty.

Peer pressure and group behavior have truckloads of influence!

Mobbing in the Workplace:

One by one, people you thought were friends begin turning on you.

And, one by one, the entire student body, workplace, or community turns their backs on you. They start slandering you. Moreover, they begin accusing you of one infraction after another.

In most cases, the people who are generally good, kind people won’t see themselves as participants of mobbing. No.

They’ll only think of themselves as defenders against an evil enemy. Therefore, they view their atrocious behavior as justified. To them, the nasty behavior is necessary.

Why? Because to know themselves as bullying participants goes against their sense of decency.

Even Sweet and Kind People Act Differently in a Group.

Always! They will be totally different people because they feel they must conform. They’ll be so different that you’ll no longer recognize them.

In fact, people who are normally sweet and kind are exponentially meaner than those who were already bullies to begin with. Why? Because they feel they have something to prove to the group.

Again, once bullying escalates to mobbing, it’s nearly impossible to stop.

The reason mobbing damages you the most is because of the support you lose so quickly. As more and more people jump on the hate bandwagon, you become radioactive.

Therefore, before long, everyone avoids you. Moreover, they continue blaming you for any tiny thing that goes wrong. Even things you couldn’t possibly have any control over.

In other words, they close ranks, thereby eliminating any help or escape from the abuse.

Sadly, there isn’t much you can do once the violence has escalated to this point.

Mobbing in the Workplace:

Step-by-Step Description of Mobbing in Progress

I can’t stress this enough. Mobbing is THE severest form of bullying. Once the bullying reaches the stage of mobbing, this is when the bullying becomes life-threatening! And if you ever a target of it, you’ll know firsthand how destructive it is.

This is how mobbing starts.

A bully or small group of bullies start a successful smear campaign. Mind you, these bullies are in positions of power. Moreover, they’re well-practiced in the arts of persuasion and influence.

Here’s something I want you to realize. A smear campaign is nowhere near as tricky as it looks. You’d be amazed at just how simple it is to smear someone. It’s so easy that it shouldn’t be so effective, but it is!

To quote the old Geico commercial, it’s “so easy; a caveman can do it.”

Here’s a chronological, step-by-step recap of how bullies do it and succeed at it:

1. The bullies Spot a specific individual who refuses to conform to their standard of who she should be.

Let’s call her “Cindy.”

Before, the bullies could influence everyone else and get them to submit to their every whim. Then, low and behold, along comes Cindy, who’s stubborn. She subtly resists the bullies’ control and doesn’t allow them to change her personality.

Moreover, Cindy doesn’t realize their motives. She doesn’t know that, just by doing her thing, she’s enraging the bullies.

Therefore, she goes on about her business and makes plans for her future. She accomplishes achievement after achievement.

Maybe she gets loads of positive attention and praise from others because she’s so successful and well-liked.

2. Mobbing in the Workplace:

Next, the bullies begin to smear Cindy.

To implement their smear campaign, they watch Cindy closely. They studying her behavior and the way she reacts and responds to stimuli. And they continue to watch her until they can anticipate her reactions.

3. The bullies then train their audience to expect a certain behavior out of Cindy.

They point out those behaviors when they occur. The bullies then associate Cindy’s completely innocent behavior with something bad or evil.

For example, let’s say that Cindy is sweet, playful, and likes to engage in a little banter. The bullies watch as Cindy banters with people.

She playfully calls someone a “dummy” or a “goofball.” However, others know that it’s all for harmless jokes. Therefore, they think it’s funny because Cindy is a genuinely kind person.

4. Next, the bullies begin making offhand comments.

They remark that Cindy’s kindness is only an attempt to kiss ass because she wants something from people. The bullies tell others that Cindy thinks they really are dummies. She only covers it under a veil of fun jokes and playfulness.

The bullies also make statements that Cindy thinks she’s cute. They also accuse her of thinking she’s smarter than everyone else.

5. The Bullies Then Repeat them.

And they repeat the same lies over and over again. To quote Josef Goebbels, “Tell a lie once, and it remains a lie. Tell a lie a thousand times, and it becomes the truth.”

 The next time others see Cindy being kind to and playfully bantering with someone, she doesn’t look so cute. Moreover, the banter isn’t so funny anymore.

Now people begin to see a side of Cindy they can’t believe they never noticed before.

6. Feeling smug, the bullies look at themselves, then at Cindy with smirks on their crooked faces and try the same thing all over again.

Therefore, they continue repeating the same lies again and again.

Before you know it, everyone wonders what they ever saw in Cindy, to begin with. Soon, they start having negative feelings toward the poor girl.

7. Cindy picks up on the negative vibes and begins to withdraw.

She doesn’t understand what she did for others to begin treating her so coldly. Therefore, she doesn’t speak to people like she did before. And why should she?

People have begun turning on her. Therefore, Cindy isn’t going to put herself in a situation to be rejected.

8. The bullies then notice that Cindy is growing distant.

They make sure to point this out to everyone. Moreover, they use Cindy’s distance as confirmation that she really does think less of everyone at work.

“Hey, look! Do you see that? Now, what did we tell you? Cindy really does think we’re all dummies! She really does think she’s smarter than the rest of us!”

“And her ass-kissing didn’t work, so now she’s too good to speak to anyone!”

9. Cindy’s withdrawal only makes people resent her more.

Although she only grew distant out of self-protection, others mistake it for arrogance. Maybe they know that Cindy isn’t being smug. However, they don’t want to believe it. They only want to believe the running narrative.

10. Things only snowball from there.

Understand that people are human, and they make mistakes. They misjudge innocent others all the time.

A smear campaign is most effective when bullies can condition a group to see any quality in you as a bad thing.

Therefore, people can become extremely cold and cruel to you. And they repeat the same cruel behavior, over and over again.

Understand that smear campaigns are effective because they quickly become bullying. Then, they escalate to mobbing.

And once it increases to mobbing, it’s unstoppable. And, sadly, the only way you can take your life back is to leave the toxic environment altogether.

This post was all about mobbing in the workplace so that you can recognize it while it’s happening and make your escape before it’s too late.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The 4 Stages of Bullying

2. What Not to Share at Work When You Suffer Workplace Bullying