Want to know the best phrases to shut down a gaslighter? The phrases that you’re about to read are the most powerful statements you need to make the next time a bully tries to gaslight you.
When people gaslight you, it can leave you confused and feeling unnecessary guilt. If you’re like I was, you probably wish you knew powerful phrases to shut down gaslighting. As one who’s had multiple bullies, I’m giving you the most powerful statements you can use to shut your bullies down for good.
You will learn about the top, most powerful phrases to shut down a gaslighter.
After learning about all these cool comebacks, you are going to be a pro and on the ready the next time your bullies even attempt to gaslight you.
This post is all about the most powerful phrases to shut down a gaslighter. This is information that every person with integrity should know.
9 most powerful phrases to shut down a gaslighter
Before we get to the phrases, here’s a quick question. Have you ever had a situation when a bully was gaslighting you and you were stuck without a good comeback? I have and it was pretty humiliating.
Gaslighting can make it’s victims feeling not only confused and bewildered, but also embarrassed. It’s extremely difficult to pull out a good comeback, on the fly, when you’re in the middle of a gaslighting session.
However, one thing you should never, ever say to a gaslighter is this:
“I’m sorry.”
“You were right, it’s my fault.”
To bullies, apologies are not only submissions, but admissions of guilt. Moreover, telling the bully that they were right and admitting fault is surrendering to them. This is just how bullies think.
Although, it may tempting to go ahead and accept blame just to avoid further conflict or to keep the peace, I implore you. DON’T! Not under any circumstances!
Never take responsibility for a bully’s behavior, or anyone else’s for that matter. You are only responsible for your own words and actions, no one else’s.
The reason you should never capitulate like this is because the bullies will only take it and run with it. In other words, they will only weaponize it against you from here on out. And they will do it for the next several years or decades even.
Here’s what you SHOULD say:
1. “The truth hurts sometimes.”
This phrase is brilliant because it does two things:
It infuriates gaslighters because it reverses the sting back onto the gaslighter by turning the tables on them.
Also, it exposes your bully’s inability to handle the truth.
Your bullies may become angry after hearing this comeback. However, it can only work in your favor because their emotions will only further give them away.
Why? Because bullies don’t get emotional unless they’re so afraid they’re losing control of the conversation that they begin feeling desperate. Always remember that.
2. “I don’t see it that way.”
This is a good comeback because you’re making it clear to the gaslighter that you don’t agree with them.
Keep in mind that gaslighters gaslight because they want you to feel crazy, or like their behavior is your fault. They want you to doubt yourself and think, “well, maybe she’s right. I probably did have it coming.”
No you didn’t. Remember that you aren’t responsible for anyone else’s behavior but yours. Your bullies’ behavior is a reflection of their choices, not yours.
3. one-word phrases to shut down a gaslighter:
“Whatever.”
This little one-word response is so potent and powerful. It’s short and sweet, and it’s the perfect blow-off to any gaslighter.
Why? Because it sends the message that you refuse to engage with them. Also, through that response alone, you communicate to your bullies that they’re a waste of your time. And really, they are!
Therefore, you end up taking the wind right out of the gaslighter’s sail. Why? Because, your bullies are excepting a big reaction from you and when you blow them off with a “whatever,” you stun them.
Any time you calmly use this comeback, you send the message to bullies that they don’t hurt nor intimidate you, they only bore you. Ouch!
It’s very difficult to counter a response of, “Whatever.”
Moreover, another reason this little beauty of a response infuriates bullies so much is that there’s no way to counter it. It stops them dead in their tracks and leaves them looking dumb.
Bullies may verbally retaliate with a “whatever” of their own. However, it will only make them look like they’re not very creative. Additionally, the bully will also look childish and stupid.
Therefore, the trick with this little one-worded bomb is to draw first blood. In other words, he who says it first automatically wins the day!
Do it this way and you look calm, cool, and collected while making your bullies look defeated. Most importantly, you preserve your own sanity by refusing to argue or to agree with their drivel.
So, keep this on your list of comebacks because with it, you can’t go wrong! Just remember to say it calmly and coolly. Then watch your bullies’ reactions as they search and stumble to find a comeback without repeating you and looking utterly ridiculous.
However, whether they comeback with a childish response or not, your “whatever” has already shut down the toxic conversation. So, the only reason they respond is because they know they’re beat. Your bullies are only having to scramble to find a comeback, which is why they usually fail miserably.
This is definitely to your advantage.
4. I’m sorry you feel that way.”
This really ticks off bullies and gaslighters because, just like number 1, it turns the tables on the gaslighter. You send the unpoken message that you refuse to apologize for something you didn’t do or something that isn’t your fault.
Using this sarcastic comeback isn’t an apology. It’s a dig. It shows bullies and gaslighters that you could care less about their feelings. Also, it communicates to them that nothing they have to say to you is worth the effort you must put in to argue.
Again, this is how you respond to a gaslighter. Gaslighters get no respect because they don’t give any.
5. “that’s your opinion, not mine.”
This comeback also turns the tables on gaslighters in that it boomerangs their initial words back to them. Also, it lets them know that you could care less about what they think of you or what they have to say.
Bullies will seethe when you use this gem of a comback. I guarantee it!
6. “You have your reality and I have mine.”
Gaslighters are notorious for trying to undermine your reality and call your perception into question. Anytime you give your bullies this response, you tackle the problem up front.
Moreover, they get the message that you’re not one to be swayed from your perception, which will shut them down completely. In other words, they’ll know instantly that you’re immune to any manipulative mind games they try to play.
And this is what you want so they’ll leave you alone and go find some other sucker to jerk around
7. Phrases to shut down a gaslighter can also be questions.
“How?” or “Like WhO (what, when, where)?”
What you are doing here is asking for details. You’re responding to the gaslighter with questions and they will absolutely hate that. Gaslighters always avoid details because when you ask questions, you change the focus from opinions and emotions to hard facts.
In essence, you force them to come up with hard evidence to back up their argument. Most gaslighting bullies can’t do that simply because they only speak from emotions rather than facts.
Ask a bully questions referring to context and evidence. Then, laugh as you watch them stutter and stammer, trying to come up with an intelligent-sounding answer.
8. “You’ll get over it.”
This is the perfect response in lieu of a direct apology.
Now, this may seem callous, unfeeling, and cold. However, the “you’ll get over it” response allows you to respond without accepting blame and
Always remember that bullies lack integrity and a conscience. Any of the two shown in the presence of those who don’t have it will be shot down.
Moreover, this comment will more than likely rile your bullies’ emotions up because they’ll get the message that you don’t take them seriously. And you shouldn’t. Therefore, they will expose themselves through their outbursts of anger and indignation.
Respond without taking responsibility for their bad behavior and do it with power!
9. The Softer version of one of the phrases to shut down gaslighters:
“Don’t worry. You’ll be alright.”
This response is the same as number 8 but with a softer touch. Again, this deflects the gaslighting away from you and back to the bully. The “Don’t worry” part highlights the bully’s anger or upset emotional state while buffering you from the bully’s initial attack.
It’s one of the perfect verbal boomerangs that can force bullies to expose themselves because most bullies will explode at this comeback even if it is a softer one. Why? Because they will get the message that you take their frantic gaslighting with a grain of salt.
So, what bully wouldn’t flip out at a response like this? Remember that bullies want you to get emotional. Or, they want you to hang your head low and walk away, feeling like you wronged them somehow.
Don’t do either of these things. Use these responses and pretty soon, no one will bully or gaslight you. These responses worked for me and they can work for you too.
the post was all about the most powerful phrases to shut down a gaslighter to help you stand up to gaslighting and preserve your self-esteem and overall mental health.
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I cracked up at “Don’t worry, you’ll be alright.” LOLOL I love learning what to say in that situation. Thank you.🩷🌸
You’re very welcome, Kymber! I’m so glad you got a few laughs from it. That always makes me smile.
Once again, great advice Cherie! However, I did use number 5 once, “That’s your opinion” and the gaslighter came back with, “That’s everyone else’s opinion too. I didn’t know at the time, mainly down to my Asperger’s, how to respond.
I can give an example of one way not to respond. When I was in the service, there was this one target, when gaslighted, would respond with “F*ck you mother f*cker.” He then wondered why he got his butt kicked all the time.
Thank you, Michael! And yes. Sometimes bullies do come back with something like the statement you mentioned. To which, I probably would have responded, “That’s right, it’s their ‘opinion,’ and opinions aren’t facts. And opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. So, you can take your opinion and shove it up yours.” I probably would’ve gotten hurt. However, physical wounds heal. The psychological wound of not standing up to that would last for years, at least it would for me. The target you mentioned in the Marines got his butt kicked because he probably thought the same way I do.
Getting beat down isn’t fun for anyone, but he healed from it and continued to stand his ground. Bullies don’t understand that for every action or vile word, there is always a response.
Unfortunately, bullies don’t and I wish I had those responses to the one who said it was everyone’s opinion.
I completely understand. When in a bullying situation, it can be difficult to put out a comeback.