Understand that a bully’s standards are unachievable. No matter what you do, who you are, where you’re from, or what you have; bullies will always- always move the goalposts, change the rules, and find something else to use against you. Bullies will even weaponize your best qualities.
Therefore, you should always be yourself, no matter how difficult it may be. Don’t change for anyone. Realize that anytime you conform to someone else’s standards, you only lower your own.
The way you dress, your interests, etc.
Bullies will often make fun of the way you dress- even if you dress fashionably. Understand that with bullies, it’s not about the way you dress. It’s not about your hair, makeup, your attire, hobbies, favorite music, your family, or anything they make fun of. No!
Its about power and control.
It’s about having the power to make you feel bad about yourself and taking away your confidence, your pride, your happiness, your health, peace of mind, everything that matters.
We all have quirks. Never change your personality. Continue to be yourself. Realize that anything you change to appease a bully today will be ridiculed tomorrow. Again, bullies have a desire to control you to get that ego boost they’re seeking. So, understand that they get their kicks from making you jump through hoops to win their approval.
And you know what? You don’t need their approval.
Just continue to be yourself and calmly blow the bullies off. Eventually, they’ll get bored and find another target.
Only you know what you like and don’t like. Only you can know what feels right to you and what’s best for you, so, don’t sell yourself short by living up to someone else’s expectations. They don’t know you the way you do and you’re a separate person from them. Always remember that.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
9 thoughts on “Never Conform to a Bully’s Standards”
I know this all too well, Cherie. One person told me that the reason I was bullied was because I wore babyish things, like a baseball jacket. While I was never bullied when I came out of the service, I was branded ‘weird’ because of my long hair and wearing Native American moccasin boots, (These days I would be criticised for cultural appropriation.) What frustrated me was that I dressed that way as a reaction for four years of having to wear a crew cut and dress the same while serving my country. I couldn’t believe people’s ignorance.
Unfortunately, people will always try to destroy anyone who’s different.
Thank you so much, Shanti! 💖
Bullies will always find a flaw as a way to control others. Even if you do what they ask, the next time they will find something new that you did wrong.
Absolutely, Vanya! They move the goalposts.
The thing you said about the goalposts always being moved and never being able to please a person like this really resonated with me. Thanks for your constant encouragement Cherie, Hugs, C
You’re most welcome, Cheryl! And thank you for your kindness and support. 😍🥰