4 Ways Bullies Use Your Friends Against You

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Judgemental girls tauting fellow student

First, let me say this. If your friends are allowing themselves to be used by your bullies to get personal information and deep secrets about you and your life, then they aren’t friends at all. What they are, is a bunch of traitors, back-stabbers, two-faced sellouts!

They’re worse than enemies because, with enemies, you know exactly where you stand with them. Therefore, you know it’s best to keep your distance from them, or better yet, tell them to keep their distance from you. You know to keep these people out of your life.

Not so with traitors. A traitor will be sneaky, and they’ll make it a point to stick close to you so that they can continue to get juicy information about your life, with which to report back to your bullies with.

So, what are ways bullies use your so-called friends to bait you?

1. They have them ask you questions- personal Understand that these traitors won’t seem nosy when they ask you. They’ll act concerned for your well-being. They’ll have you fooled, thinking they really care about you when they’re only trying to gather your private information.

2. They have them stick extra close to you. Your so-called friends will latch onto you like a tick to a dog. This is so they can watch you closely and scrutinize everything you say and do. They will also try to find out who you associate with besides them, who your family members are, where you live, everything.


3. They have them go through your belongings when you aren’t around. Oh, yes! Your fake friends will go through your purse. They’ll go through your notebook to see what you’re writing in it, and they’ll snoop through your email. When they’re visiting you at home and you must excuse yourself to the bathroom, don’t be surprised if they even nose through your mail. They may even swing by the night before trash pick-up day and grab your trash after you set it out by the street to be picked up, then take it somewhere safe and snoop through it.

4. They have them hawk your social media profiles and pages. Sadly, many people must a lot of things on social media they really shouldn’t. Or they post things that are too easily taken out of context. In the early days of Facebook, I’ll admit that I posted a complaint from time to time- posts about bad service, idiot drivers, and ignorant people (without name-dropping, of course). Although I didn’t post anything personal, it still wasn’t good policy. Understand that these are posts that can very easily be taken out of context, so it’s probably better to keep any complaints private.

If nothing else, realize this- anyone who claims to be a friend while doing any of the four above-mentioned sins has no place in your life and if you find out they’ve betrayed you, it’s time to ditch and switch to new friends.

It’s best to make friends outside the bullying environment. Then you can show these new friends the awesome you that you can’t show in the environment you’re bullying in.

And understand that when you drop these people, you might be friendless for a while, but think about this. Did you have any friends in the first place while your fake friends were betraying you? Wouldn’t you rather be alone than to deal with fakers who only pretend to be for you when they’re really siding with the enemy?

With knowledge come empowerment!

0 thoughts on “4 Ways Bullies Use Your Friends Against You

  1. Stella Reddy says:

    Great Post Cherie and great advice! I am making new friends where I currently live! I didn’t have many really close friends that could be turned against me, but family, that’s a different story. It wasn’t so much they went against me, they didn’t have the patience, or tolerance, to put up with the mess I had become. I became someone they didn’t know and have since learned they didn’t know what to say, so avoided me instead. They felt uncomfortable being around me the way I was back then. It is still a traitor to me. I forgave them, but I still don’t talk to them.

      • Stella Reddy says:

        Yes, it is. It’s one of the hardest things about being Bullied for me, but as with all things, time does heal and I am healing from it all. In the end, that is all that matters to me now, myself and my own healing from all this mess.

  2. Anonymous says:

    The struggle is so on point, thank you for highlighting the less obvious scenarios out there. Yes, there are those friends who easily swayed by bad rumours and joined the enemy chat instead of re-checking the facts. It also shows that God is filtering who are friends and who’s not.

  3. RespectAll44 says:

    I think one of the keys is ask yourself how many true friends we have. Who do we trust? Who can we share things with? The list gets short. And we need to also be careful not to neglect friends. We have to make time for them and it is a major red flag when our significant others are jealous of our friends or try to keep us away from them. Friendships are important!

  4. LaShelle says:

    Yes yes YES! I had a bully who sucked others in and used them against me. Unfortunately I thought she was my best friend and I didn’t realize that she wasn’t my friend until it was too late. Gut wrenching.

  5. Kym Gordon Moore says:

    Oh those little busy bodies. 🤨 They never stop do they? 😲 Our friends need to realize that if bullies connive and use them to get dirt on us, they will do the very same thing to them! 🤔 It’s a double edged sword you’re playing with! ⚔🗡🏹 Very good post Cherie!!! 👏🏼👍🏼🙌🏼

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