I can tell you what happened when I deleted one of my former classmates. Before I go any further with my story, I’ll tell you this.
Nobody likes being rejected and dismissed – especially by someone they think is inferior to them. That’s a blow to the ego like one other!
When a bully gets dismissed by the victim, he thought for so long was too weak to stand up to him, oh my God! He. LOSES it! Why? Because in an instant, the victim finally stood his ground, he snatched his power back and left the bully powerless over him for once! Now the bully must go through the headache of finding a new target! Gasp!
This is precisely what happened with my old bully classmate when I unfriended her for a few offhand and snide comments she made on a few of my posts. She became furious! She couldn’t stand it! And I’ve got to tell you. I’m laughing as I’m typing this and thinking back about two years ago.
This half-crazed woman blew up my inbox. And with such vitriolic rage!
Oh, my goodness! How dare I! The nerve! The audacity! The chutzpah of me! O-M-G! I’m such a fake! I’m such a pissy person who deleted her because I got called out! Oooooo! Poor baby! I’m such a weak little bitch who can’t take constructive criticism!
Those were her words before I laughed and pushed that little godsend of a block button. I would’ve pushed the button sooner, but to tell you the truth, I was getting a real kick out of her reaction, and I wanted to give her time to shoot herself in the foot. Sure enough, she did.
I took screenshots of her messages, one in which she repeatedly asked, “Why did you delete me?”, then plastered them all over the internet. The icing on the cake was that the other classmates saw the screenshots too and they were shocked.
Knowing she’d been punked before the eyes of some of her old high school buddies, this she-bully went even more berserk. And it was so fun to watch!
I kid you not. There wasn’t enough popcorn in the world!
You see, this woman thought that I was weak in high school and never bet on the possibility that I might have smartened up a little in the three decades since. So, I went ahead and let her assume what she wanted and trapped her with it.
Realize that anytime you reject a bully, you immediately take your personal power back and you automatically put the bully in a position of weakness- you put her in a position of inferiority. You flip the script and take the position of power over the bully. This is why bullies cannot handle rejection because they feel that they must always be in the position of power in a relationship, especially the bully/target relationship.
I want you to know that standing up to and ditching a bully isn’t as hard as you think. It’s quite easy if you don’t let fear or any intense emotion get in your way. Remember that bullies get their power from getting you emotional. And when you finally come to a place where you’re no longer intimidated or angered by them, the better you’ll be able to use your head, find some leverage, and use it as a weapon.
You must understand that when bullies fly into a rage, they no longer have the ability to think clearly. You then have the opportunity to use it to your advantage and make them look like a complete doorknob.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
0 thoughts on “When a Target Has the Chutzpah to Reject a Bully”
I think even 50 years on, my bullies would assume I was the same weak person I was back then. They will probably never find out otherwise. Well done to you for calling that she-bully out.
You’re right, Michael. They more than likely would. Thank you for your kindness and encouragement! 😊
As always, my pleasure.
to lose the blues
power more hour by hour
Hi Cherie 🙂
up above, you write “I deleted one of my former classmates” — and immediately stopped reading and went to this comment box.
You didn’t delete anyone (of course) — it doesn’t matter which so-called “platform” you were using. What *maybe* happened is something more akin to: you informed your dear “platform” that you want to change your settings *on that platform* such that one particular profile *on that platform* ought to be excluded from your “filter bubble” *on that platform*. I wonder if your real former classmate could still reach you *on that platform* via advertising *on that platform* — like, “is there an app for that?” 🙂
Thank you for your thoughts. She probably could reach me on another platform, but I’d block her there too. As far as advertisements, I’ve never heard of trolls using ads to reach their targets, this is not to say that it doesn’t happen, but it’s news to me.
Regardless of how many platforms you use, though (save a platform that you yourself manage, because it is your own platform), you would not be blocking anyone by informing the platform that you do not want them in your “filter bubble”. Like I said above, I stopped read when you said that — but now that you have shown me such consideration, I will DL & read the rest (and perhaps also “review” it sometime 😉 )
The fact that you stopped reading a the beginning of the article before commenting says a lot. Thank you for your time. 🙂
I am actually posting about a closely related topic (roughly, along the lines of the spectrum from *indifference* to *ignorance*) today (maybe I’ll be done in an hour or so). I could drop a link if you like (?)
Thank you for your reflections — they offer me a great deal of insight in the way you perceive me!
Thank you. I’d like that.
Here it is: http://socio.business.blog/2022/02/19/things-you-dont-know-that-you-dont-know — it’s part of a “book” I’m writing … LOL, well, if you want to follow *the whole story* you can also see the “wiki” link in the navigation bar @ the top of the blog / post / whatever 🙂
Thank you, I’ll definitely check it out. 🙂
I would also. Willful ignorance and willful neglect is common amongst abusers.
My narc ex-husband hoovered “by proxy” as I called it, randomly signing me up for dubious email lists without my permission. Nobody has that address. He also went around downvoting my youtube videos, usually ones for which we shared the DVD. Since I left him, I blocked him on all socials and my phone, email, etc. I wish he and others like him would get a hobby or two. He is clearly bored.
Hee-hee-hee! 😂🤣 I know right! Narcissists don’t have a life, especially their flying monkeys! They sure don’t have a life because they let the narco-path control and use them to get to you! But you can bet that as soon as these weak little worker bees have served their purpose, the narc will discard them like yesterday’s trash!
I keep reminding myself that he is not my problem anymore, and envision him doing the same crapitty crap to his flying monkeys which he had done to me. they can have him
That’s right! And another thing about narcissists, Jen. They usually get theirs in the end because as they get older, they lose their charm. I’ve know a few narcissists who grew old and died and they ended up old, alone, and miserable because no one wanted anything more to do with them. Narcs usually come to a very bad and sad end.
Indifference truly is a wonderful thing 😉 In economics, there’s a very fundamental thing called an “indifference curve” — you can exchange X amount of this for Y amount of that + be just as happy (nice line by Kurt Cobain / Nirvana: “maybe just happy…” 🙂
It sure is! 💯🎯😉 And I’ve heard of that when I took economics- bartering. And I also like many songs by Nirvana- “Heart Shaped Box” being my favorite! 💖
Indeed. I am glad I found the strength to get to that point, writing helped me get there. ♥️
I agree, Jen! Writing is one of the most healthy, healing, and grounding things you can do! 💯💖🦋
Good for you. My father used to go ballistic whenever I had the nerve to say NO to him: “Nobody ever says NO to me…I am perfect, I am always right, I always know what to do, I am always in charge, How dare you defy me?” I am exagerating, but
not by much…😢😢😢
Mine also. I am sorry you went through all that. Narc mother and father abused me in secret, demanding I tell nobody, meanwhile publicly appearing like “angels” 🙁
Yeah, mother was an alcoholic and the whole family was enlisted into supporting her. My father was like an armed guard protecting her from me and my siblings. And everything had to appear completely normal…no one could talk about what was happening, not with each other or anyone. We still never talk, and my mother died anyway, for all our “support.”
oh man, how awful. my heart goes out to you. I believe you and your feelings are valid.
Thank you, that means a lot to me. I hope you are healing wherever you are 🤗🤗🤗
I’m “betraying” my family every time I talk about this…everyone else is “fine” AKA numb…I’m the “sick” one…c’est la vie
That’s usually how abusers spin it, unfortunately. They don’t want to be seen as the bad people they really are so they demonize you for speaking out. They’re truly pathetic. Again, my heart goes out to you, Jim. 💔😢
Thanks angel…your blog keeps me vigilant! I’m fine today, hope you are too. Even more hugs 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
You don’t know how it warms my heart to hear you say this! Sending you love and hugs as well, Jim. <3
Oh, I’m going to cry….thanks 🙏
sounds like he was an enabler aka flying monkey. we cannot pick our parents, and i remind myself that. it is okay to go.no contact with toxic people, blood or not
yes, I’ve had no contact for years 😊
Thank you so much, Jen! 💖
Each of your posts makes you more adorable. I am highly impressed with you. You have inspired me a lot with your fabulous posts.
Thank you so much! 💖 I really appreciate you!
Good for you. You showed real power and strength in the situation.
Thank you so much! 💖 I so appreciate your kindness and encouragement! 😊
You did it! No chances for bullies. I couldn’t help laughing though. You kicked the tick in the as 🤣🤣! Away with her. I’m learning some new important tricks. Thanks, Cherie. 💕🌟🌟💕
You’re most welcome! And thank you for your kind and inspiring words! 🤗❤
The pleasure is all mine. ❤🙏
What you posted reminds me of a “collapsed narcissist,” all bumhurt because their con game to gain supply failed. Boo-hoo I say as I play the world’s tiniest violin.
😂🤣 You said that perfectly! Don’t you just love to watch a narc react when they can’t manipulate you! Bwahaha! 😜
thank you. i laugh at the absurdity of it all
I do too, girl! How I wish If done that all along, huh? 😂🤣😜
How funny that they think they can make snide remarks a lot on your posts then go on a rage frenzy when you block them. Haha I am so glad you got that person out of your life!
Thank you so much, Sara! 🕊 And yes, this woman felt quite entitled, didn’t she? 😂🤣
They lash out the most when they realize they can’t get to you anymore.
Amen on that one, Sara. They’ve been getting to you for a long time and have grown so comfortable and accustomed to it that when you finally get bored with their childish antics, they don’t know what to do nor how to handle it. It’s quite hilarious!
That’s very true. Suddenly they become cry bullies. LOL
Hahaaaa! 🤣😂 Crybullies is right! In fact, I posted a few posts last year about “Crybullies” and I may have to repost them soon because this blog has grown so much. Every now and again, I repost old posts for new followers to read. I still post fresh content, however, if there’s a post from a while back that got good readership, sometimes it pays to repost after about six months or so. ❤️
That’s a good idea! I admit I binged on your blog a few months ago and saw some of the cry bully posts and thought it was hilarious – and very relatable. They are mean to you – but when you call them out, you’re suddenly the bad guy and they’re the victim. I like the idea of posting older posts, too, especially as your blog grows! I might try that myself as a lot of my older posts have been buried now.
Thank you, Sara. I have a bloggiversary coming up! March 7th will mark six years for this blog. ❤️❤️❤️
That’s amazing! 🙂 I will definitely be there to celebrate your bloggiversary.
Thank you so much, Sara! That’d so sweet! 💖💐🌹
Good for you girl! That is exactly what bullies want. The get power thinking they put you in your place. And I will tell you when you know you have got them. They will start taking the low road by saying things like calling a person a Bitch (By the way though that is a word normally used on females, I have heard males called that before usually by another male trying to esmaculate them) or other names. The truth is they never had any real power to begin with. It takes guts to stand up to a bully but a lot of times the power we think they have is power we assume they have. And you know what? Here is how you can tell who your friends are and who decent people are. Friends have your back and would stand up and fight for you and good decent people who may not even know you that well or at all, see through bullies as well and will never condone their behavior and sometimes even stand up for someone they do not know.
You’re spot on with everything you said here. Bullies do call guys that word to attack their manhood. And I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had the “bitch” word thrown at me when I stood my ground. It didn’t work but only solidified my position not to give them what they wanted. Thank you so much for your thoughts here! 💖💐🌹🦋🕊
And let me address this “Constructive Criticism” thing that bullies use to justify their behaviors. First of all, constructive criticism needs to primarily come from true friends, family that loves you, teachers, pastors, employers, etc that love and care about you and truly want to see you do better. Not to get political here and I am talking about both sides and media and everything (so if anyone wants to try to defend one side over the other don’t, it is bad on both ends), but we live in such a politicized world that we spend most of our time yelling at the other side, telling them they are wrong about everything, never listening to opposing points of view and always riding the insult train. It is one thing to offer true constructive criticism. Most people don’t do anything constructively. They do things to try to control and attempt to bully.
Right again! Bullies use the name constructive criticism to gaslight. There’s constructive criticism and then there’s destructive criticism. Bullies only use DESTRUCTIVE criticism.
I’m curious why you were friends with her in the first place!
I hadn’t seen her in many years and figured she’d grown up when she sent me her friend request back in 2014. I’m willing to give people the benefit of a doubt, and maybe yes, that’s a fault of mine, Dawn. Thank you so much for asking, sweetie. 💖🤗
You’re a kind-hearted person, and you’re right, you gave her a chance.
Thank you, Dawn. 💖🕊🦋
Haha this post reminds me of old days, back then I didn’t even know I was bullied because I was much more understanding than normal! 😁
It shows you were an empath, Chaymaa. And most targets of bullies are indeed empaths.
Reading..and looking at comments..do ya thing girl! U definitely got a shield around u.. hate gonna gravitate towards you because you are creative and intriguing..
You don’t know how much this means! 😊🤗 Thank you so much! You just made my night! 💖💐🌹
Well now, looks like you ignited somebody’s fuse box! 🧨🤯😬😱💣 I think I see a few splatters of brain matter outside my window! LOL 🤭🤫🤕 Well, if ya can’t take it don’t dish it out, and as Forrest Gump says, “That’s all I have to say about that!” Let the Side Show begin! 🤨😲😜
😂🤣😂🤣 Girrrl! You’re a trip! I love your silly butt! 💖💐🌹😜 And Forrest Gump is one of my FAVE movies! 📽🎞🎬
Well sistah, you were on target! 🎯. Speak your truth!!! 👏🏼👍🏼🤜🏼🤛🏼
I sure will! Thank you so much! 💖 💐🌹🕊
Thank you so much! 🤗
Sensitivity to bully’s when I grew up was so less in India.. It was kind of given.. Or as made to understand “Harmless fun” 😒
Right. When I was growing up, it was considered normal and a part of being a kid.
Nice and great article, thank you
Thank you so much, Abubaker! 🕊
Don’t we though! Haters give us entertainment! 😀
Thats the best way to look at it 😜
You are so right! I have found that walking away from confrontational people has more power than trying to fight back. Leave them alone in their misery.
Sometimes, though, peoples words and negativity stick with me even when I had the strength to walk away. I need to learn to let these things go and live in joy.
Absolutely right, Kristi! You don’t know how much I appreciate your thoughts on this topic. 💖