Many targets are abused for so long that they simply lose trust in people and withdraw from everyone. And in social situations, many targets mistakenly assume that those they’re with are laughing at them when they’re really laughing with them. And this can cause a rift between the target and a person who’s a mean-meaning friend.
So, how can you tell the difference?
1. Laughing with you: Eye contact. The person is looking at you and interacting with you while laughing.
Laughing at you: Lack of eye contact. The person is looking around at everyone else but you while laughing.
2. Laughing with you: The person doesn’t hold the laughter in. Instead, the laughter happens automatically and spontaneously.
Laughing at you: The laugher usually pauses first. And they don’t laugh out loud but only snicker.
3. Laughing with you: How does the person treat you once the laughter is over? They’re generally good to you and they enjoy being around you.
Laughing at you: The person treats you with contempt and they won’t hang around. They may even make a snide remark to you on their way out to go laugh at you behind your back.
And it depends on context.
4. Laughing with you: The laughter is deep and the person’s natural laugh.
Laughing at you: There’s “mocking laughter”, where the person imitates your laugh. The person isn’t laughing because you’ve done anything wrong or stupid, or because there’s anything wrong with you. They’re laughing at you to bring you down and boost their own social status or to feel better about themselves.
5. Laughing with you: The person generally has good feelings toward you and is having fun or being playful.
Laughing at you: The person has a hostile and hurtful attitude toward you. They’re enjoying your pain, humiliation or weakness.
The sooner you recognize the differences, the sooner you’ll avoid the wrong people and the better relationships you’ll have with the people who truly love and care about you. And ultimately, the better you’ll feel!
0 thoughts on “How to Tell Whether They’re Laughing With You or At You”
They say a lot can be revealed by what and whom you choose to laugh at. There is usually an undertone to the snide remarks made. On point observations Cherie!
Thank you so much, Lilly. I so agree with you- what you choose to laugh at says so much! 💖💖💖
This is all so true! They laugh a little too hard and will poke other people so they can be part of your joke.
You nailed it, girl! That’s exactly what they do! 💯🎯
Hey Cherie, if you laugh back at them the same way they are laughing at you, then whatever their reasons, which we know is nasty and insincere, they won’t know that you giving them a dose of their medicine right back. Hence, the joke is on them!!! 🤣😆😂
Thats true, Kym. It works with most bullies. However, it can also make some bullies violent because you didn’t give them the reaction they wanted. It can depend on who you’re dealing with. ❤💕🌹💐
Yep, good point Cherie! No matter how you slice it, their actions are utterly dysfunctional. Have a FANtabulous weekend my dear! 🤩🥳😁
Thank you, Kym. 💖 You too, honey! 💐🌹
This is something I could have done with back in the day. I always found it hard to tell the difference due to my Asperger’s.
I completely understand, Michael.
Thank you 😊
some very good observations and soo true!
Thank you so much, Shanthy. 😊
Very well explained…Yes we got to understand who is laughing with us and at us.
Stay blessed always
Thank you so much, Krish. May you be blessed as well. 😊🙏
Exuberant narrative, Dear Cherie
Thank you so much, Anand. 😊
So perfectly explained!
Thank you so much! 😊