Tag: self belief

self-acceptance

Why is Self Acceptance Important? 21 Must-Know Reasons

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Sadly, many people go through life without self-acceptance. But why is self-acceptance important?

why is self-acceptance important

You may have heard the term “self-acceptance” many times before and may be asking yourself, “Why is self-acceptance important?” Moreover, you may not even know what it is.

Here you will learn the definition of if, why it’s important, and how you can achieve it in order to better your life.

Once you learn all these important details and put them to use, your confidence will soar and you’ll finally be able to take more control of your life and it’s trajectory.

This post will give you the answers to the question, “Why is self-acceptance important?” so that you can reap the benefits of it and reclaim your personal power.

Why is self-acceptance important?

Again, there are many reasons. However, first, lets discuss exactly what self-acceptance is and how it relates to bullying and it’s victims.

Anyone who has ever been bullied will tell you that it sometimes takes years to overcome the after-affects, get completely comfortable with yourself and find happiness.

Because of the torment they suffer, victims often withdraw and become shy. Moreover, the shyness can last a lifetime if they aren’t careful.

This reserved condition often comes from not only fear, but a lack of self-acceptance. Shyness is painful. Therefore, self-acceptance is the most important gift you can ever give yourself.

Here are the reasons that self-acceptance is so important.

1. you can see your own beauty.

A lack of self-acceptance blinds you to your own individual beauty. Therefore, once you accept yourself for all that you are, you will easily see your beauty and every good quality you have. You will then relax and just be.

2. you give yourself permission to make mistakes.

You realize that everyone screws up, including yourself. Therefore, you’re okay with making errors. You may not necessarily like goofing on a project, or singing off key. However, you’re still okay with the blunders you make throughout your life simply because everyone else does it too.

Moreover, you won’t try so hard to be perfect because you realize that perfection is impossible for anyone to reach. So, you’re able to just relax and go with the flow.

3. Why is self-acceptance important? You feel free to express yourself.

The reason many victims of bullying don’t practice self-expression is because they’re afraid that others won’t approve. In other words, they spend too much time worrying about what other people think or what they’ll say.

Therefore, they live in an invisible prison they don’t know how to escape from. The prison of whether they get other people’s approval. What they don’t realize is that they don’t need approval from anyone else.

However, when you express yourself, you don’t feel restricted. Therefore, you feel free to express yourself and aren’t the least bit concerned with what the people around you might think about it.

Why? Because you know that you don’t need the approval of others to live your truth and be who you are.

4. You feel free to be yourself.

In other words, you know you don’t need to try and be someone you aren’t. You don’t have to put on a big front to impress others. You’re completely comfortable in your own skin and as discussed in number three, you express yourself more freely.

Moreover, when you can be yourself, you’re relaxed, calm, and content with who God made you to be.

5. You accept all your flaws.

Why? Because you realize that everyone has imperfections. Therefore, you understand that you’re no different and you’re fine with it.

In other words, you accept all parts of yourself, the good and the not so good.

6. Why is self-acceptance important? You’re not afraid to display all your talents, gifts, and natural abilities.

Though others may criticize you for it, mostly out of jealousy, you keep showing what you can do best. Moreover, you’re not concerned with the way people may feel about it.

Sure. You like to display your natural gifts before others, but you do it because you enjoy it and not to impress anyone.

7. You feel free to have your own opinions, feelings, and beliefs.

In other words, you’re not afraid to voice those opinions. In today’s world, being an individual and having your own opinions is of the utmost importance.

Why? Because now more than ever, society frowns on differences of opinions and beliefs.  Agreeing to disagree is, sadly, becoming more and more out of date with the majority of people attacking those with differences in thought, taste, and opinion.

Understand that no two people are going to agree on everything. That’s why you must have the courage to have your own beliefs and convictions even if it causes others discomfort.

8. you work on getting to know yourself better.

You can begin keeping a journal and writing in it everyday. Also, you can take a few courses and try new things. These are a few ways to get to know yourself better.

9. You’re not afraid to grow, learn, and try new things.

Learning and trying new things brings growth. Moreover, it’s also exciting! Therefore, never stop learning, no matter how old you get. Because, when you stop learning, you become stagnant.

10. Why is self-acceptance important? Because You’re more likely to face your fears head-on.

Self-acceptance takes courage. Moreover, when you accept yourself, flaws and all, you’re more likely to take risks.

Risk taking is important because it brings you out of your comfort zone. And when you step out of your comfort zone and put yourself out there, amazing things happen!

11. you discover talents and abilities you never thought you had.

When you accept yourself, you’re more willing to try new things. And when you try new things, you’ll find those hidden natural gifts and abilities. Also, you’ll have the patience to practice them and the courage to show them to others.

12. You believe in yourself.

In other words, you believe that you can succeed at what you set out to do. You have confidence in yourself and are much less afraid to take on projects and tasks.

Moreover, you’ll be more confident in tackling anything life throws your way. Why? Because you know that you’re strong and that you’ll triumph over it.

13. Why is Self-Acceptance Important? Because You’re not afraid to set goals, work on those goals, and pursue your dreams.

People who accept themselves have goals to work toward and dreams to fulfill. They’re usually so busy that they don’t have time to worry about what others think and seek approval.

Therefore, accept yourself and be too busy doing you! This will only bring you success and happiness down the road if you don’t give up.

14. You practice self-care.

When you accept yourself, you love yourself. And when you love yourself, you’re more likely to take care of your body. In other words, you’ll make sure you eat right and exercise everyday.

Also, you’ll get plenty of rest at night and see the doctor if you get sick.

You will take care of your mental health as well. Moreover, you’ll do this by protecting your peace from bullies, abusers, and other toxic people.

15. You’re not afraid to set boundaries nor to enforce them if you need to.

In other words, you don’t put up with bad behavior from anyone. Again, you’ll protect your mental health by keeping toxic people out of your life and protecting your peace.

Moreover, you’re not afraid to set boundaries and call out anyone who verbally abuses you. And you aren’t afraid to walk away from people who take advantage of your goodness or get abusive with you.

16. Why is self-acceptance important? When you accept yourself, new opportunities and better situations open up for you.

You’ll think that the floodgates of heaven have suddenly opened and you are being washed away in a river of blessings.

In other words, your relationships will improve and you’ll suddenly begin attracting better people into your life. You’ll make new friends and associates.

Moreover, other opportunities will come through these new people, such as great jobs, careers, and travel.

17. You’re not afraid to show your silly side and have fun.

In fact, you’ll enjoy having fun and goofing off a little. Also, the people around you will enjoy it too because you’ll be a fun person to be around!

18. You’re better able to have compassion and empathy for others.

The prerequisite to loving others is to love yourself and that takes self-acceptance.

If you can’t accept yourself, you won’t be able to accept others either. This is why a lot of people become bullies and most bullies haven’t achieved self-acceptance.

Being a bully doesn’t score any points. Moreover, it doesn’t make bullies feel any better in the long run. Sure, they may feel better about themselves the instant they put someone else down.

However, that feeling won’t last long. In fact, it fades rather quickly. They’ll then need to attack someone else to get that fix and it will only make them look like insecure little cowards.

But when you accept yourself, you don’t worry about the opinions of others and are better able to give love and compassion to the people around you. Even better, you won’t feel the need to bully anyone.

Therefore, work on changing the way you see yourself and begin loving yourself more.

 Only then will you be able to properly love others.

19. Why is self-acceptance important? Your personal relationships improve.

Because you accept yourself, you accept others. You love yourself and give the same to others. This can only improve your personal relationships.

People love those who love them and they accept those who accept them. Therefore, your relationships can only get better, not worse.

20. You’re social life improves.

You become much more attractive to people and they are drawn to you like a magnet. And the individuals who are waiting for you to mess up actually get bored, give up and stop watching you. I know this from experience. Acceptance of self (all aspects) is such sweet freedom!

No one likes to be around a self conscious and insecure person with a victim-mentality who doesn’t like themselves.

Again, when you accept yourself, others will too.

21. You find peace and happiness.

Self-acceptance is one of the main stepping stones to happiness. When you accept yourself as you are, quirks and all, you release yourself from the enslavement of others’ approval. Moreover, you stop concerning yourself with how others see you.

In that, you lift a huge weight off your shoulders. This brings peace and happiness into your life.

This post is all about the importance of self-acceptance and the amazing life-changes it brings.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Benefits of Positive Thinking: 6 Positive Changes You’ll See

2. The Advantages of Having Enemies: 7 Powerful Positives

3. Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out: 11 Must-Know Facts about Bullies

4. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

5. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

How to Overcome Self Doubt: 7 Easy Mind Hacks to Achieve Success

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‘Want to know how to overcome self doubt? Here are the time-tested mind hacks you need to know about.

how to overcome self doubt

When it seems that bullies attack you from every direction, it doesn’t take long for you to begin doubting yourself. As someone who’s been there and triumphed, I’m giving you the proven steps you need to know to overcome self doubt.

In this post, you will learn all the mental tricks you need to go from doubting yourself to believing in yourself.

Once you learn all these clever mind exercises, you will slowly develop the self-belief you need to stand up to bullying and gaslighting. Moreover, you will feel more confident than you thought possible.

This post shows you how to overcome self doubt using the psychological techniques below so that you can grow more confident and live a happier and more productive life.

How to Overcome Self Doubt

Before we get into the mind hacks, let’s discuss the relationship between being bullied and doubting yourself and how it can negatively alter your life.

Many victims of bullying are filled with self-doubt. However, it isn’t only bullying victims that suffer this malady.

Self-doubt ranks right up there with fear. It’s a close second to it as it kills your dreams and causes you to live in mediocrity. Therefore, fear and self-doubt are the catalysts to life-failure. So, please don’t let this happen to you.

Many have been bullied so long that doubting themselves has become like second nature. Understand that abuse has a way of resetting your default mode from confident to diffident.

And once that default has been changed, it’s much more difficult to change it back. Therefore, this is one of the reasons why bullying is so devastating for a target.

To put it simpler, once you’re bullied, it changes you. Either it turns you into a scared, helpless victim, an angry and bitter monster, or an empty shell.

You can overcome it and still, you won’t be the person you once were.  Moreover, even if you do the inner work, get to know yourself again, win back your confidence, and manager to heal, you’re still not the same.

You’re stronger, yes. You’re a winner, yes. But I’ll say again, you’re still never the same as you were before you were bullied. Therefore, there will be times when you’ll feel self-doubt creep back in and have to fight it.

How to overcome self doubt: It’s an ongoing battle.

In other words, you don’t just conquer bullying, get confident again and say, “Whew! I won! I’m glad I don’t have to worry about self-doubt or bullying again!”

Why? Because you will at some point. There will be times when that unwelcome and uninvited guest, Mr. or Ms. Doubt will quietly try to slither their way back. Situations in life will trigger it and you will have to fight it.

It’s an ongoing battle. You might experience lulls, where you feel so self-assured that you don’t believe you could ever doubt yourself again. Moreover, these feel-good periods may last days, weeks, months, even years

However, circumstances will arise and unsavory people will come into your life to bring that old devil back again. And, once again, you will have to fight with everything you have to kick that pesky, uninvited guest out.

Self-doubt comes with many symptoms. They include lack of confidence in yourself, your appearance, your abilities, and your potential.

Additionally, lack of self-belief  breeds lack of self-determination or, Learned Helplessness. It also comes with anger, sadness, depression, feelings of jealousy, and later, regret.

Giving into self-doubt is dangerous because it has a huge negative affect on your life. In fact, it can absolutely destroy your future. So, how does self-doubt effect your life? It does so in several ways:

1. It zaps your motivation and inspiration.

When you think you can do nothing right or can’t be very effective, you won’t want to try at anything. Why? Because you’ll be so fearful of failing.

Without motivation nor inspiration, you’ll either never do anything at all or you’ll do just enough to get by and that’s it. Instead of living, you’ll only end up existing.

Instead of being successful at life, you’ll only squeeze through it by the skin of your teeth. In other words, you’ll end up in toxic relationships that don’t fulfill you. Also, you’ll bust your tail in dead-in job after dead-end job.

Consequently, you’ll have nothing to show for it in the end.

2. If you don’t learn how to overcome self doubt, It Will cause you to miss opportunities.

When you constantly doubt yourself, you’ll be blind to your chance opportunities and let them pass you by. This will only lead to a mountain of regret later.

There’s nothing that feels worse than knowing you had an good opportunity and missed it because you didn’t see it.

3. It gives you a defeatist attitude.

Self-doubt can morph into the acceptance of failure. Moreover, it can cause you to give up too soon and forfeit success.

Understand that challenges are the most difficult right before your breakthrough and this is when most people give up. In other words, most throw in the towel when success is just around the corner.

Also, once you get into the habit of giving up, you’ll see no point in trying at anything anymore. Therefore, you will only see more failure and defeat.

Finally, you’ll end up with the attitude that you can never reach success. You’ll feel that nothing meaningful or positive can ever come your way.

Moreover, you’ll feel as if God has cursed you, is punishing you and that His will is for you to suffer without ceasing.

This is the absolute wrong attitude to have.

4. Not knowing how to overcome self doubt only stunts your growth, and keeps you feeling “stuck.”

If you don’t believe in yourself, you can’t grow as a person. You’ll only  feel like a victim of circumstance. As a result, you’ll feel helpless to change any of the things you don’t like about your life.

In other words, you will feel that no matter how hard you try, you can never accomplish anything.

5. It causes you to procrastinate.

Because you think you’re going to fail anyway, you dread even trying. Therefore, you put off everything until tomorrow. And, day by day, you keep putting off the things you know you need to do.

Consequently, you let it all pile up until the problem becomes so big it overwhelms you.

So, how do you stop doubting yourself? And how do you continue to work bravely on your goals no matter how long it takes to achieve them?

Overcoming self doubt starts in the mind.

Here are the 7 mind hacks to help you stop doubting yourself.

1. Remember how far you’ve come.

In other words, congratulate yourself for making it this far. Doing this will encourage you to go the entire distance and finish the race.

2. Remember the battles you’ve fought and won.

This includes the small wins that are barely noticeable. Moreover, keep in mind that little victories lead to big victories!

3. Remember the fears you’ve faced and overcome.

For example, if you were afraid of water when you were five and you overcome it by taking swimming lessons. Go back to that memory anytime you feel scared of doing something you know you must do.

Remember the quote, “Courage is not the absence of fear, it’s acting in spite of fear.”

4. Remember all the bullies and mean people you’ve overcome.

In other words, remind yourself that you’re still standing even after so many people tried to bring you down. That is a victory in and of itself!

5. How to overcome self doubt: count your blessings.

This means counting the good things that have ever happened to you in your lifetime. You’ll be surprised when you find that they are so many that you can’t count them all.

6. Remember all the things you’ve accomplished- even the tiniest of assignments and projects you’ve completed.

Whether you finish the Fall cleaning of your house, got a good grade, or learned to ride a motorcycle, it’s a win and you must see it as one. Therefore, count your victories, no matter how insignificant they may seem. A win is a win.

7. lastly, believe that if anyone else can do it, you can too.

Seeing someone else succeed can be a huge motivator. Therefore, instead of being envious, let the other person’s victory give you encouragement to keep trying.

Understand that we all come to roadblocks and hit brick walls. Moreover, we all have our down times and, sadly, sometimes those bumps in the road can cause us to doubt ourselves from time to time.

However, don’t you dare quit. If you need to rest, than rest. Even the Energizer Bunny has to recharge his batteries at some point.

The trick is to get up, dust yourself off, and keep pushing on. The difference between those who succeed and those who fail is whether they give in to self-doubt and give up or push it away and keep going.

In conclusion

No matter what bullies have told you nor how many times you’ve faced adversity, you can overcome self-doubt. It may take a while and you make need to work hard and fight many battles but you can overcome it.

Know that you have the power to change the way you think. Many people who grew up in extreme poverty or abusive homes have gone on to become doctors, lawyers, famous writers and inventors. Therefore, know that the same power is within you too.

You can change your life.

This post was all about learning how to overcome self doubt so that you can change your life for the better.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

2. Bullying is Abuse: 9 Ways Bully and Abuse are The Same

3. How to Overcome Victim Mentality: 5 Proven Mind Hacks

4. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

5. How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem: 7 Insanely Easy Ways

hope

Benefits of Positive Thinking: 6 Positive Changes You’ll See

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‘Want to know the benefits of positive thinking so that you can create a positive mind and reap those advantages?

benefits of positive thinking

When you have people in your life who bully and abuse you, it can be difficult to think positive. However, if you knew the benefits of positive thinking even during unpleasant circumstances, you would probably be more willing to put in the extra work to create a positive mind.

In this post, you will learn all the benefits of positive thinking and how it will change your life.

Once you learn these seemingly unfair advantages, you will be more compelled to think positive even if you don’t feel like it. As a result, you’ll begin to attract better things into your life. Even better, you’ll be amazed at how it will better your world!

This post is all about the benefits of positive thinking so that you can attract better things to you and be happier and healthier!

Benefits of positive thinking

Before we go directly to the benefits, let’s discuss how all this works.

I’ve always heard people make the statement, “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

The problem with this is that our attitudes shape our perspectives and perspectives shape what we see. In other words, our perspectives can blind us to a lot of stuff, even to what’s right in front of our faces.

Why? Because, if you have the mindset that you’ll believe it when you see it, the chances are that you never will see it.

This is the reason many targets are bullied. It’s the reason why innocent people are convicted of crimes they didn’t commit. It’s also the reason why many bullies and criminals are promoted to high positions. Because, to a degree, it’s all about our attitudes!

However, know that this doesn’t mean that what happens to you is your fault. Because, it isn’t! I repeat! You’re not to blame for what happens to you!

Most people often base their judgments of others on our attitudes towards them. Moreover, people assess others by what they’ve heard about them, or whether they like them.

Many times, people judge others too harshly because they can’t see past our dislike or hatred of them. Understand that this is how bullies are made and it’s a dark part of human nature!

The Drawbacks of Negative Thinking

Sadly, we also do this with our own lives as well. If we’ve had a string of adversity throughout our lives, we usually come to expect more of the same. Consequently, we end up getting just that! We get more of the same!

Moreover, we come to see ourselves as unlucky, undesirable, unlovable, and incapable of success. As a result of our thinking, we get more and more adversity because our attitudes and perspectives about our lives will blind us to opportunities.

Also, what is more shocking is opportunities we end up missing are, more than likely, right in front of us. These are opportunities that others may see and seize.

Then, we’ve missed out once again and thus, the cycle only continues.

Therefore, our thought patterns have ways of shaping and influencing our lives. Moreover, the ways that we think shape the things that happen in our lives, and where life takes us. And yes, our outlook even attracts people and events.

The benefits of positive thinking and why you should change the way you think

This is why we must do the inner work to change our thought patterns. We must check our attitudes and work to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

The only way you will have a positive life is to have a positive attitude, then a positive perspective, which can only develop by having positive thoughts.

I know it’s hard to do when it seems that adversity is coming at you from every possible direction. Believe me, I understand because I’ve been there.

In fact, it won’t be easy, and it won’t happen overnight. But I promise you this. If you start now by catching each negative thought and replacing it with a thought that’s positive, you’ll be surprised at how much better your life will get!

“What if it doesn’t work out?” Oooooh! But “What if it does?”

It worked for me and it’ll work for you too!

Therefore, change your mindset.

You are what you think.

You’ve heard the quote, “You are what you eat.” So, it goes with your thought processes. You are also what you think.

Targets of bullying can start off as confident and outgoing people. However, after years of bullying and abuse, they become insecure, afraid, and withdrawn.

Sometimes, they can turn against themselves. They began to think that they aren’t worthy of anything good in life. Moreover, they stop believing in their own good qualities.

Sadly, they no longer think they’ll ever be loved, ever be accepted, or ever be successful and that nothing will ever go right for them.

Then soon, things begin to happen that matches their thoughts and feelings. These poor people, began to fall out with friends and family and suffer back-to-back bad breaks. They finally develop feelings of self-loathing and end up alone, rejected and unsuccessful.

Benefits of positive thinking: Here’s how it works

Thought patterns determine outlook (attitude).

Outlook determines choices, decisions and behavior.

Decisions and behavior determine outcomes.

Outcomes determine events that happen in your life and your life’s trajectory.

All this then re-enforces your outlook (attitude).

This becomes a cycle and cycles always repeat themselves.

To put it simpler, anytime you think a thought, you send a message out into the universe.  Sooner or later, you get a response that matches. Moreover, this response always returns as an event, situation, or circumstance. And once it becomes a vicious cycle in your life, it’s damn hard to break that cycle.

However, know that this cycle can be broken, but it takes a lot of time, patience, and hard work. I can tell you from experience that the changes won’t happen overnight.

The reason for this is that, once a pattern is set, unseen forces (like your subconscious mind, for instance) will, at first, fight against any change you try to make. You could say that these unseen forces (your subconscious) have become comfortable with the way things are.

Just as most people hate change, so do the higher powers at work.

But know that if you keep at it, your breakthrough will present itself eventually. It has to after a while because of your refusal to give up.

On the other hand, the same order also goes with positive thoughts.

Positive thoughts equal a positive mind. A positive mind brings positive opportunities.

Therefore, positive opportunities lead to positive results. Altogether, they bolster confidence, which gives you a positive and extraordinary life!

It’s a shame most people go through life without learning this little nugget of wisdom. They go to the grave never learning this and so many other life secrets.

The benefits of positive thinking should motivate you to alter your outlook for the better.

Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying, you must be very careful that you don’t allow your bullies to cause you to mentally self-destruct. In other words, don’t allow the lies and toxic messages they send to influence the way you think of yourself.

You must fight like the devil to hold on to your self-belief. Your life and its trajectory depend on it!

If you hold on to your positive attitude and sense of self from the very beginning, you’ll save yourself a lot of time and hard work in the future. Most of all, you’ll save yourself from a lot of future pain and misery.

So, be aware that when bullies are attacking you at every turn, it’s too easy to allow your self-esteem to erode. As a result, you end up losing the initial positive attitude.

Moreover, if you aren’t careful, you’ll begin to doubt yourself and give up on your goals. Here are 3 Life Secrets that everyone (especially targets) should learn. And once you learn them, hold them close no matter how others may treat you.

You can use them to keep your self-esteem from tanking.

Finally, the 6 benefits of positive thinking:

1. You Have Improved Mental Health.

It uplifts your mood! You begin to feel better and more hopeful. Therefore, you’ll see a better path forward. And the best part is that you’ll experience joy!

2. You’ll attract better people into your life.

Your good mood will spread to others and they’ll take notice. The right people will want to be around you because they will want some of the feel-good that you’ve got!

In other words, you’ll be more pleasant to be around. Understand that others who aren’t bullies love being around those who have a positive mindset.

Why? Because your mindset has a way of radiating outward through the vibrations and energy you unconsciously put out.

So, if you have a positive mindset, the people around you will feel it and they’ll gravitate toward you. This is how you will meet dates, partners, and lifelong friends.

3. Benefits of positive thinking: You’ll attract better opportunities.

That includes better job opportunities and better social and romantic opportunities as well. Managers love potential employees who are positive. Moreover, it’s the same for potential business partners, dates, friends, and associates.

Most people love those who have a positive attitude. Because a positive attitude is a winning attitude! Everyone loves a winner! That is, everyone, except bullies and abusers.

4. You’ll be grateful with what you have instead of resentful over what you don’t have.

You’ll focus on what you do have and not moan about the things you don’t have. Moreover, you’ll work toward achieving your desires instead of just sitting around wishing for them.

And because you work for it, you will more than likely attain it because no one every got anything by wishing for it.

5. Your positive attitude will become ironclad.

In other words, if you practice positive thinking long enough, it will become a habit! You’ll think positive without even thinking about it and your happiness will increase several-fold!

6. You’ll begin to score wins left and right!

In other words, you’ll see success after success! And who doesn’t want that! With a positive outlook, you’re likely to make the right choices and decisions, which will lead to accomplishments you never thought possible!

this post was all about the benefits of positive thinking and why you should change negative thought patterns.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

2. Acceptance and Tolerance: 5 Best Ways to Know the Difference

3. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

4. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

5. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

Bullying Only Diminishes the Target’s Ability to Trust Him/Herself

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Why? Because the target’s judgement, decisions, and feelings are constantly attacked, negated, and condemned by others. When a target is bullied, they’re taught that, although the abuse they suffer is painful, they either shouldn’t feel, or they have no right to feel that pain because they’re to blame for the abuse they suffer.

Targets are conditioned by bullies, bystanders, even people in authority, friends, and family to just suck it up and negate their own painful feelings. In that, they’re trained either not to understand or to deny their own suffering and that bullies and others are abusing them.

Targets are trained to believe that other people’s vile behavior is their fault and that something is wrong with them, otherwise the bullying wouldn’t be happening to them. Targets are also snookered that everything that goes wrong is because of them. In short, they’re taught that the abuse they’re getting is somehow justified.

As a result, targets often withdraw because they become afraid that they’ll only attract bullies and bullying behavior from the people around them. As a result, targets are left feeling confused and inadequate.

Targets are made to think that:

They take things wrong.

They’re too sensitive.

They asked for it or had it coming.

There’s something wrong with the way they are.

There’s something wrong with the way they express themselves.

There’s something wrong with the way they come across to people.

Therefore, targets stop believing in themselves. Even worse, they lose trust in themselves, their abilities, and their capabilities. And once this happens, they become perfect victims for bullies.

Understand that targets suffer many attacks to not only their physical body, but also their psyche and their emotional being.

Even worse, their very souls are tired, their spirits broken, and they don’t understand their own pain nor why they feel it inside.

Being a target of bullying is a hell that no one who hasn’t been there can possibly comprehend. When you’re bullied, you’re in the fight of your life, and for your life. And when I say fight for your life, this doesn’t only mean fighting to stay alive, although it can.

“The fight for your life” can mean fighting for your self- esteem. It can mean fighting for your personal power and dignity. It can mean fighting to keep your confidence up and self-esteem from being broken so that the abuse doesn’t affect your grades, performance (at school or work), or worse, your ability to make smart decisions and life-choices. You’re fighting to keep the abuse from effecting your entire future. Most importantly, you’re fighting to maintain your health and your sanity.

Because you’re very much aware that if you allow these people to cause you to lose any of the above, then you unwittingly give them power over your entire life and every aspect of it. You may not end up dead, but you won’t really live, you’ll only exist. And that’s no way to live!

No matter what happens, stay strong. Hold on to everything mentioned above, or as much of it as possible. And most of all, know that none of the bullying you suffer has anything to do with you and that there are people out there who care. Keep the faith, keep believing in yourself, and stand strong!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

2 Reasons Why Bullies Like to Target Classy Chicks and Good Girls

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Before I start, I want everyone to know that in no way am I judging anyone who is sexually liberated. If it’s what makes you happy, then do your thing. Live how you want because we all have free will. So, I won’t attempt to do a job that’s only God’s to do.

But when bullies who are sexually liberated (and the vast majority of them are) mistreat and label classy women and good girls because they choose not to live the same lifestyle as they do and to save themselves for true love, that’s when I’m going to have something to say and I can tell you that some people won’t like it.

So, here goes.

Have you noticed that it’s almost never the not-so-good women and butt-floss wearing females who get targeted for bullying? It seems that it’s mostly the girls who are discreet and have self-respect who are the worst treated. They’re excluded, ridiculed, and made to feel like they don’t matter. Moreover, it seems to be the former who go after the latter.

But why?

1.Pop culture and music. We get subliminal messages from the music, movies, TV, and other media outlets that push the narrative that it is okay to act like a, dare I say, “ho.” Girls listen to a lot of “thot-pop” and watch videos of overrated stars like Cardi B and Miley Cyrus, who bare it all and commit blatant sexual acts for all the world to view right from their livingrooms. Who remembers either watching or hearing of Cardi B’s raunchy performance with Megan whatshername live to her infamous “WAP” song?

Sadly, our girls are getting the message that it’s okay, and worse, completely normal to let it all hang out and to act inappropriate in public- that it’s completely fine to cheapen themselves and make themselves nothing more than a sex object- that it’s better to use your behind rather than your mind to get ahead in life. Society is embracing the wrong values and bullies are persecuting the classy ladies who don’t or won’t jump on board the illicit “sexualize yourself” bandwagon.

(This?)

(or this?)

The running narrative is that anything goes, and that showing belly, boobs, and butt is what it takes to get a man, when, in reality, no guy who’s worth his salt would even consider a long-term relationship, much less marriage with such a woman.

2. Bullies and sadly, most of society, are under the false belief that classy women are old-fashioned and boring. It’s no secret that bullies prioritize the wrong things (attention, approval, admiration, and popularity). So, they’re all for engaging in indecent behavior and stripping down to nothing if it will get them lots of those social benefits. Because bullies are all about being idolized and worshiped while sneering at others who aren’t ratchet and slutty like they are.

But! Here’s the thing. Maybe, just maybe, it isn’t only that bullies consider classy women and good girls to be old-fashioned and boring. It just might be that bullies know that classy women and good girls would never bow down and worship them- these are the females who won’t give them the validation they’re seeking and worse, who might reject them! Gasp!

So, again. Why do people bully good girls and classy women?

Because a good, classy, down-to-earth lady respects herself too much to kneel before anyone. And the narcissistic she-bullies are more than likely to be the butt-cheek baring, all-eyes-on-me, girls. And the lady deems attentions-seekers to be of the lowest common denominator. Therefore, such females aren’t worth her time, and the she-bullies know that and are angered by it.

God forbid that anyone they deem inferior rejects them. I mean, think about it. Maybe that’s why these she-bullies are so hell bent on bringing the decent and classy women down is because, deep down, they know these women already look poorly on them. They have an I’m-gonna-get-you-before-you-get-me kind of attitude.

So, to all the good, decent, and self-respecting classy young ladies out there, this is my message to you.

Know that your worth is so much higher than the she-bullies and their tomcat male counterparts who bully you. Because you have standards, a strong sense of self and know that you’re not sex objects, you chose to expose your mind and not your behind. And one day, it will be highly valued by a real man who truly deserves you and wants to love you.

Know that your worth isn’t determined by the eye candy and cheap appearances you can offer men, nor is it determined by what you can do for them. Your worth is determined by what you can do for yourself and how well you treat yourself and others.

That’s why the best thing you can do is to be a lady because it is the ladies who end up being the winners. They don’t have to resort to cheapening themselves to get male attention or to fit in and they don’t accept attention from the cheap tomcats who crawl up behind the she-bullies.

The beautifully decorated, yet half-naked she-bullies are a dime a dozen. The she-bully only attracts the dogs- the beta-men who only pose as alphas- the cheap playboys who are only there to hit it then quit it.

But a lady is a keeper. She’s not a one-date wonder or a one-night stand because she knows she’s worth more than just her body. The lady doesn’t care what petty people think of her. She doesn’t give a hoot that the she-bullies and their tomcats look down their noses at her because they don’t matter.

It is the lady, the once-bullied classy chick and good girl who will score a high-value man because she is a high-value woman. And because of this, the lady will live a good life because she has good morals she chooses to live by. And the morals they have are, in fact, so strong that they’re unchanged by the decaying society in which we unfortunately live.

Instead of being half-naked to fit in, the lady will stand out by keeping her clothes on. This doesn’t mean she dresses like a nun, but she keeps it classy. And that’s why you’re already ahead of the game.

She-bullies are only good for a one-time roll in the sack.

Ladies, on the other hand, are wife for life material.

I can’t stress this enough. Don’t let the desire to fit in cause you to relax your values, your morals, your beliefs, and your convictions. Hold on to your standards. Things may be lonely for you now but the things about you that your bullies snub and ridicule will be the very qualities that real people, men and women, with strong beliefs, values, and confidence will cherish. You just wait!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Reaching Your Full Potential

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bullying faith hope

One of the greatest victories against bullies is reaching your full potential. Here are ways you can do it!

1. Don’t worry about what other people think. In life, there will be those who will try to tear you down, especially if they know you’re striving to reach a goal. But you don’t mind because they don’t matter. Don’t let them discourage you. No matter what they say, keep shooting for the stars. And don’t stop until you reach your dreams.

2. Weed out all the Negative Nancies and Debbie Downers. Yes! Get rid of all the gossips, whiners, complainers, bullies, and all the people who make you feel bad and suck the oxygen out of you. Surround yourself with positive and uplifting people- people who help you, not those who hinder you.

positive hope never give up don't quit

3. Never be afraid to be alone. Trust me; you’d rather be by yourself than keep company with people who are negative and drain the lifeblood out of you. Negative people are exhausting, and you will need all your energy stores to reach your highest potential. And if you have a partner who doesn’t treat you right nor appreciates the value you bring to a relationship, then perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate the partnership, get clear on the kind of partner you want in your life and give this person their walking papers.

4. Don’t quit. Don’t give up when it seems like progress isn’t happening fast enough or when the going gets rough. Keep plugging at it! Because sometimes, things are their toughest just before you finally get your breakthrough.

5. Believe in yourself. To succeed at anything, you must believe in yourself. If you don’t, no one else will, and you won’t accomplish anything. Without faith in yourself and your abilities, you won’t have the morale to keep working toward your dreams. If you need to rest, then do so. But whatever you do, don’t quit!

You will have to do all of these before you ever find your confidence and reach peace and happiness. It won’t be easy but I promise. It’ll be worth it in the end!

Why You Should Never Believe nor Internalize the Labels Bullies Give You

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We’ve all heard of self-fulfilling prophecies or the Pygmalion Effect. It’s a phenomenon in which our thoughts become things. People also call it the power of expectation.

” What we believe we also become.”

When people (adults at work AND kids at school) are told they are smart and will do well, they usually end up doing just that. Whereas, if a person is told he is stupid and will never amount to anything, he will also live up to what he hears.

Bullying and life – pictured as a word Bullying and a wrecking ball to symbolize that Bullying can have a bad effect and can destroy life, 3d illustration

High expectations= high performance= high outcomes.

Low expectations= low performance= low outcomes.

Understand that bullies are brain-washers. They are repetitious in their verbal attacks, and if you aren’t careful after they have repeatedly suggested that you’re stupid, ugly, or no good long enough, they will force you to believe it too. You won’t even know it’s happening until it’s too late.

‘You see? A bully knows that if you tell a person something enough times for long enough, that person is more likely to believe it.

Understand that bullies do this on purpose. Their goal is to derail you, your goals, and your future by manipulation, to turn you against yourself.

Because bullies know that once they make you believe you’re worthless and can’t do anything right, you will unwittingly and ultimately live up to their expectations.

You must realize that any name a bully calls you, they want you to be. Anytime a bully tells you that you will never be loved, never be successful, etc., the goal is to crush your self-esteem and any prospect for the future.

Law of Attraction on Blackboard with Words

And people want to be right! Bullies want so badly to be right about you so that they can eventually point at you and tell others,

“See? What did I tell you? I told you he was a jackass!”

“I told you she would (screw up, fly off the handle, get into trouble, etc.).

“Uh-huh! What did I tell you? Huh?”

Therefore, should it be any wonder why bullies continuously bombard you with horrible names and accusations? If a person calls you a lowlife, they want you to be a lowlife because they want you to prove them right!

There is a reason why cycles repeat themselves over again! Everything becomes a cycle. What you expect is what you will end up getting. Even worse, it’s what you’ll eventually live up to. Always! It’s only the Law of Attraction at work, and it never fails.

It won’t be easy to do. It’s challenging to think positively and to keep loving yourself when you’re continually having horrible names and negative comments hurled at you from every direction. It’s tough to keep your heart open when the hearts of people around you are closed and locked tight. It feels impossible to love yourself when it seems that everyone hates you. I feel your pain because I’ve been right where you are now.

 

However, you can only break the cycle of abuse and negativity by continuing to love yourself even when it seems that nobody else does, by finding a reason to live when life seems hopeless, and by refusing to lose sight of your goals, your dreams, and most of all, your value as a human being.

Be mindful of your thoughts and always replace any negative thinking with thoughts that are positive.

If a bully calls you stupid, counter his statement by saying something as simple as,

“No! I’m smart! You’re the stupid one!”

You may have to work hard at it, but you can do it.

Don’t Worry About Who Does or Doesn’t Like You

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Why? Because liking of any person or thing is always subjective, and no two people have the exact likes, dislikes, tastes, or opinions. Know that there will always be those who do not like you and be okay with it because it bears no reflection on you. We all move in different circles and directions.

It’s just how life works and how we were made.

Continue to love and embrace yourself as the person God created you to be. Continue to enjoy the friends and loved ones you do have and never mind the people you don’t have. They aren’t important.

Embrace your differences because no two people are the same. Accept every flaw and quirk you have. Accept no one’s ignorant, cookie-cutter version of what you should be. You are enough!

Imagine how utterly and downright boring life would be if we were all the same. Imagine a world full of white people, black people, or Hispanics- a world full of people with blonde hair and blue eyes or dark hair and dark eyes- a world full of skinny people…or overweight people- or if everyone had the same tastes opinions or beliefs!

It would be like living in a town where all diners were pizza parlors and served pizza but nothing else. Yuck! I love pizza, but I wouldn’t want to eat that every day!

So love being different. Know that there are people who love you and are begging to spend time with you. And above all else, know that God loves you. You will be alright.

Never Apologize for Who You Are

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Make no apologies for who you are nor what you stand for. And make no apologies for any successes nor victories you’ve had. Most importantly, make no apologies for loving yourself and going after what you want and deserve.

Bullies will get jealous of your successes and victories and try to undermine them. They give you backhanded compliments, accuse you of having “freak luck,” or call you an imposter.

Also, if you’re a confident and happy person, bullies will be jealous of that too. They will accuse you of being “full of yourself,” “arrogant,” “conceited,” and other such nonsense.

Turn a deaf ear to these haters!

Many times, bullying targets, after having been bullied for so long, end up apologizing for or explaining away the beautiful parts of their personalities because they have been forced by others to believe that something really is wrong with them. If this applies to you, I want you to stop doing that! You owe no one any apologies nor explanations for being YOU.

I want you to think about this: Perceptions are often wrong, and just because others “perceive” you to be less than does not mean that you are. Accept yourself, embrace the imperfections. You know the imperfections I’m talking about- the ones you can do nothing about, because we all have them. We wouldn’t be human if we weren’t a little flawed in some way, shape, or form. Stop apologizing, stop explaining, and begin loving yourself for all that you are.

Even The Most Confident Have Their Moments

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A few years ago, a thought occurred to me that even the most confident people have moments and days when they don’t feel so confident. I most certainly have them. I know where my talents are, I know all of my good qualities and bad, and I know who I am and what I want. However, I also know my limitations- it pays to know those too because confidence doesn’t mean arrogance.

If I don’t like something, I take steps to change it, and if it cannot be changed, I find ways to embrace it.

For the past decade, I have felt peace I never before knew. Yet, there are still days when I don’t feel as confident as I should.

There are times when I feel a tad insecure and nervous. There are times when I feel my old shyness trying to creep back in. After all it’s only human.

Only I refuse to give in to it. I give myself psychological pep talks to make the insecurity go away, then face the fear head-on.

Everyone has those days. So, when this happens to you, don’t toil over it. Accept it as a part of being human, and when insecurity does rear its ugly head, either use your mind to lessen the feelings or make them go away.

Even if you are a happy and confident person, there will be days when things go wrong, and there’ll be days when you just aren’t feeling it.

So, I hope you remember that just because you are having a day when you don’t feel so good, it does not mean that you are not a strong, resilient, and confident person. It just means that you are human, and just like everyone else, you will have downtimes and bad times. Just keep the faith because those times never last.