survivors of bullying at work

Survivors of Bullying: How It Feels to Overome

‘Want to know about the resilience of survivors of bullying? If you’re one of them, this post should make you feel proud that you not only survived, but you overcame!

survivors of bullying

The survivor of bullying who escapes the abuse first comes out with shock, anger, and sadness. But once the healing is underway, they’re filled with renewed hope.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about the resilience and strength of survivors of bullying and why you should be proud of overcoming bullying and regaining your happiness and peace of mind.

Once you learn about what it means to overcome bullying, you will feel nothing short of victorious.

This post is all about survivors of bullying and what it feels like to finally rise above bullying and feel that renewed confidence that those like me feel to give you hope if you’re currently being bullied.

Survivors of Bullying

When school or workplace bullying experiences have exposed you to the darkest sides of human nature, you have a stronger sense of your own endurance and capability. This is all because of what you have endured and were able to overcome.

You never know your own strength until you’ve overcome bullying, especially severe and chronic bullying and mobbing.

They have an enhanced ability to read people and their intentions.

Another takeaway is that the survivor has a stronger sense of people. They can smell fakery and BS from a mile away. Additionally, they can identify bullies before even speaking to them.

The survivor pays closer attention to how people carry themselves. They also notice their body language and the vibes and energy others emit.

As a result, they are better able to avoid people who might want to harm them. Why? Because they’ve learned the hard way the importance of listening to their gut instinct and heeding it.

Anytime something is even the slightest bit “off” about a person, they notice right away. The survivor of bullying has learned that it’s essential to trust himself. Additionally, they realize that it’s equally important to trust his feelings and judgment.

Survivors of Bullying make it a point not to follow the crowd.

On the other side of bullying, a survivor learns and develops the determination never to conform to the standards of others. They live life on their terms because they know what it’s like to be a slave to the approval of others.

In other words, they know what it’s like to be a prisoner to outside influences. And they see the powerlessness of having one’s pleasure depend on the permission of others.

They know what it’s like when others force them to apologize for simply being who they are. And they aren’t having any of it!

They know that following the crowd will only suppress who they are. Therefore, they refuse to lose themselves in the crowd! They’ve learned this the hard way.

They know their worth.

Overcoming past abuse gives the survivor a restored and refined sense of their worth. In other words, they gain insight into the immense value they bring to the world.

He awakens to his goodness and realizes that yes! They are worthy of love, friendship, affection, and all the best things in life.

He also realizes that there are people who love him and there always have been, no matter what those vile bullies told him. The survivor of bullying ends up with a much clearer vision of what she will not tolerate or settle for.

She is unmovable in her refusal to kiss butt or bow down to anyone no matter what the cost may be. She’s wasted enough years living on her knees. And if others are going to punish her for her unwillingness to kowtow, she’ll suffer those consequences standing up.

Survivors of Bullying stand up for other victims.

The survivor of bullying is also a fierce warrior for other victims. If he sees another person being bullied, he will stand up for that person. He will go toe-to-toe with the bullies to protect the target.

And they will fight for that victim, then take them under their wing. They will also teach them how to defend themself.

They know what it’s like to take crap off of people. Therefore, they bestow onto other victims what they’ve endured and what they’ve learned from it.

They make it a point to set boundaries and enforce them if they must.

The survivor who has overcome bullying isn’t afraid to say no. And they aren’t too scared to walk away from any relationship that doesn’t fulfill them.

Additionally, they aren’t afraid to call out bad behavior. They will stand up to anyone who tries to abuse them. Predatory people may try to bully them, but they’ll only do it once.

They’ve been through that bullshit before and they aren’t about to endure it a second time.

Survivors of Bullying are selective of the people they allow to come around them.

They automatically gravitate toward relationships that nourish them. Moreover, survivors of bullying keep their circles small. This is because they choose the quality of friends over quantity.

In other words, they’re highly selective of who they allow into their lives. If they ever find out that someone they thought was a friend is betraying them, they aren’t afraid to cut that person off.

Moreover, they aren’t afraid of being alone and friendless for a while. The survivor of bullying knows that they can always make new friends. And they would much rather be by themselves than tolerate those who only pretend to be their friends.

Loyalty is a characteristic that survivors look for in potential friendships. And once you break their trust, they rarely give second chances.

If they do, they make you work like a dog to prove yourself worthy of their friendship.

They refuse to stay in toxic places.

Survivors of bullying refuse to stay in any environment that doesn’t allow them to grow and flourish. They avoid toxic environments like the plague.

For example, if a survivor of bullying works in a toxic work environment. They won’t stay there long. They’ll quickly and quietly search for employment with a healthier company, then submit a letter of resignation.

Survivors of Bullying don’t settle for anything less than what they want.

The survivor realizes what she deserves and goes after it with resilience and tenacity. Life’s given her enough of what she doesn’t want. And now, the time has come for her to claim what she knows she deserves and has a right to.

The survivor realizes, probably more than anyone, that life is short. And you only get one shot in this world. Therefore, they work diligently to create the life they know they deserve. And they do it without guilt.

The survivor knows that she’s neither entitled nor privileged. She realizes that the big, bad world owes her nothing. And that’s okay. She’s willing to work for what she wants.

They are self-reliant. 

Survivors of bullying are fiercely independent. They realize that there’s no such thing as a free ride. Why? Because, damn! No one ever gave them anything but hell.

What they understand more than anything is that all you have is you. The only person you can depend on is you.

So, they know that reaching their goals and dreams is up to them and them alone. And they work toward those goals with fervor.

Survivors of bullying never take their friends and loved ones for granted.

The survivor of bullying makes it a point never to take anyone for granted. They let their family and friends know they love and value them. Why? Because they know what it is like to be alone, unwanted, and abused.

And they would never want anyone, especially the people they care about, to feel that way or endure what they have.

They see the people who love them as blessings, and they appreciate them.

They are grateful for everything positive in their lives.

The survivor of bullying savors every wonderful moment, every positive encounter, and every happy event because he has seen enough negativity.

What the survivor enjoys more than anything else is wonderful relationships. Why? Because they were relationships they never had when people were bullying them.

Survivors of bullying are also thankful for every happy moment they are blessed with. Moreover, they create more of them.

They enjoy helping others who go through what they once endured. And they use their experiences to encourage them and give them hope. This also creates positive rewards for them.

In Closing

Bullying can be traumatic. But sometimes, others must tear you down before you can build yourself back up again. Sometimes, fake friends must abandon you now before you can truly appreciate the family and friendships you have later.

And sometimes, it takes having others deny you approval and validation before you can enjoy the freedom of self-love. When you finally regard others’ opinions with indifference, you set yourself free.

When you learn to discard the opinions of those who don’t matter and, perhaps, never should have mattered, your self-esteem skyrockets and you take back your power and live life on your terms.

Surviving and overcoming bullying gives you a renewed sense of your value, independence, and overall freedom. It changes everything! And for the better! And, if you’re an adult survivor of school bullying, congratulations! You’re getting an earlier start!

And there’s nothing that tastes sweeter than that!

Therefore, never be ashamed of having been bullied. Be proud that you overcame it!

This post was all about survivors of bullying so that, if you survived bullying and overcame, you can feel good about that!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Adult Survivors of School Bullying: 19 Things They Do Differently

2. Bullying and Trauma

3. How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem: 7 Easy Ways 

letter to a bullied girl in school

Letter to a Bullied Girl

Here is a letter to a bullied girl. It is a letter that I wrote to my teenage self several years ago. However, this is a letter to everyone who is bullied. I would be grateful if you could read it as well, so that it will encourage you and give you hope.

letter to a bullied girl

Being bullied is the fight of your life. It is the kind of stress that no one, adult or child, deserves, and only those with the most determination survive.

Therefore, in this post, you will read a letter to a bullied girl, so that you can find the courage and hope you need to keep pushing forward.

Once you have read this letter, you will be encouraged to persevere even when you want to give up. And you will be more likely to find the determination you need to stick with it and eventually overcome.

This post is a letter to a bullied girl, so that you feel empowered to stand firm, put yourself first, and show yourself the compassion you need. 

Letter to a Bullied Girl

I know it’s tough. But sometimes you must first live with what you hate before you can move on to what you love. You must weather the storm before you can see sunlight. Understand that only when we’ve been through hell do we appreciate heaven so much more.

Although your mind tells you that there’s something wrong with you, it says that it’s your fault and that you must be doing something to rub these people the wrong way. Your heart tells you differently.

Your heart tells you that you did nothing wrong. It suggests that your classmates dislike themselves and are projecting their negative energy onto you.

However, this war between your mind and your heart leaves you exhausted.

You’re tired of fighting. I get that.

You’re tired of all the drama that surrounds you and wants to overwhelm you. I understand because I’ve been there. However, no matter how tough things get, I see that small glimmer of hope in your eyes. Please don’t lose it.

Although you carry an enormous amount of pain, you’re still holding on, taking it one day at a time. Keep it up! Keep loving yourself and continue to forge your path, regardless of how others may treat you.

And please don’t hate your classmates. Instead, feel sorry for them- take pity on them. Because their lives aren’t as perfect as they let on, believe it or not, your classmates are hurting too.

Letter to a Bullied Girl:

Hurt people hurt people.

They have mental problems of their own that they never confessed to or got help for. Only they’ll never tell you about it in this lifetime.

Understand that they’re only keeping up appearances, which is such hard work. And they’re angry at you because you don’t have to work as hard as they do.

Realize that many of them are abused at home. Some have parents who are into prostitution, drugs, and alcohol. Others hear their parents fighting all the time.

Many of them are also dirt poor, surviving on welfare.  And they’re ashamed of it! Many of your peers have home lives you couldn’t imagine! School is their happy place.

Open your eyes and see that your home life is better than that of many kids your age. Be thankful for it. Your home is a sanctuary compared to most.

And they’re also scared. Bystanders are scared of becoming just like you- a target! Therefore, they feel compelled to join in the bullying.

But understand that all this makes them cowards, and again, they’re to be pitied, not hated.

You don’t yet realize how strong, brave, and resilient you are. But you are. You are all those things simply because you haven’t dropped out of school, unlike many of your peers. You haven’t quit the race! And you haven’t given up on life!

You don’t realize your own strength.

You expect to be bombarded with a barrage of taunts and insults, or worse, physically attacked once you pass through the school entrance. However, you still gather the courage to get up every morning and go to school. And you do it scared!

So, who are the weak ones now?

They may have favor with most of the teachers. And many of those teachers have little hope for you. However, most of them will never leave this town.

This is a small town- only a dot on the map. In a small town, it doesn’t take much effort or very long to maximize one’s potential.

Even though you feel so small and insignificant, understand that each of your bullies feel the same way you do. And the only way they can feel big and powerful is to make you feel bad.

Letter to a Bullied Girl:

One day, you’re going to see just how they end up.

Only a few will make it. The rest will be living in loveless and abusive marriages. Many will be poor and wondering how they’ll pay the rent. Some will join gangs or begin slinging dope.

Several of your bullies will immerse themselves in drugs and alcohol to cope with their failures in life. A good portion of them will end up behind bars. And many will have kids who disrespect and hurt them.

Most of your classmates will be on a desperate and never-ending search for love. They will go through numerous divorces and broken relationships. And the sad thing is that they’ll never learn to fall in love with themselves and with life first.

They’ll be on an endless quest for happiness and never realize that happiness comes from within themselves.

You want to fix it so badly, but you don’t know what’s broken.

You’ll laugh at me when I tell you what I’m about to say to you. You’ll probably tell me I’m nuts and that I don’t know what I’m talking about. But I’m going to tell you anyway.

There’s nothing wrong with you. Your classmates are the ones with the issues! They are the ones who are mentally imbalanced. And to keep everyone from figuring it out, they put it all on you.

I want you to know that you pose a significant threat to them. That’s right. You are a threat to your bullies. Do you know why?

It’s because you’re smart. You’re smart enough to see right through them, and they know it. They also hate it!

You are a beautiful girl! You’re also talented. You can sing, for crying out loud! Your classmates know you can sing, and they’re jealous of your beautiful voice.

They’re afraid that you’ll expose the bullying and let all their skeletons out of the closet. Why do you think they shout you down and tell you to “shut up” every time you start to open your mouth?

And why do you think they scream at you and tell you to sit down every time you get up to so much as sharpen a pencil or turn in homework?

But they’re very much afraid that you’ll humiliate them. Therefore, they keep you from speaking up.

Letter to a Bullied Girl:

Your very presence terrifies their demons.

They hate it when you write. But understand that they’re afraid you might be writing about them and their cruelty. Isn’t that why they had your journal taken?

But know this. You have so much potential. Only you don’t realize it yet. Why? Because they have programmed you to think that you’re no good. And they’ve brainwashed you into thinking that you’ll never amount to anything.

I know that sometimes you want to die. But if you keep living.  I promise that things will get better- much better! You’re going to accomplish things you never thought you would. You will end up surprising yourself!

Although you think this is a load of feel-good garbage now, the truth is that your classmates bully you to keep you down. Why? Because they fear that if you ever rise, you’ll cause them to fade into the background.

You feel you have nowhere to go to find peace.

I realize that your home life isn’t so hot either. Your father doesn’t believe in you and treats you more like a stepchild than a child. He acts like you’re not one of his.

But understand that he’s battling demons of his own.

You’re anxious for your mother to remarry so you’ll have a replacement dad. I see that you dream of having a stepdad who’ll legally adopt you as his own. But honey, no one else will ever replace your daddy, and someday, you’re going to realize it.

It seems that you and Mom don’t see eye to eye. And the easiest way to avoid any fights is to stay in your room. You want to keep it in a safe place, where you can write and get lost in the music you play so loudly.

You feel like she’s ashamed of you and wishes she had a different child. She isn’t, and she doesn’t.

She loves you very much, and the bullying you suffer hurts her too. Know that she’s on your side. Only she’s at a loss as to what to do about it.

And you’re going to find out later that if you open your heart to her and talk, even cry to her, she’ll listen while she holds you. Then, you’ll grow closer than ever before.

Every kid goes through times when they’re at odds with their parents. And I’ll go back to a point I made earlier- your home life is a lot better than most.

Letter to a Bullied Girl:

You’re withdrawn.

You’ve closed yourself off to people. You’re scared to talk to people because you’re afraid they’ll make fun of anything you have to say. You have so much you want to say to your classmates, but you’re scared of what they might do to you. Take the risk anyway.

Open your heart to people. Laugh and have fun with them. I promise you that they just might see your golden heart and love you for it.

School is worse than anything. Inside, you want to laugh, you want to sing, and you want to dance. However, you’re afraid. Rest assured that one day, you’ll have the courage to let yourself do and be.

What you’re going through now is only temporary.

It won’t always be this way.

People won’t always bully you. And your classmates won’t always be in your life.

Your stomach won’t always be in knots, and you won’t always be running to the bathroom and throwing up because of the intense stress. Moreover, you won’t always have to wonder when some snake at school is going to attack you in the halls or the girls’ room.

You look in the mirror and try different outfits, makeup tricks, and hairstyles. Why? Because you think that if you make yourself more attractive than you already are, the bullying will go away.  That will soon end, too.

Letter to a Bullied Girl:

You’ll no longer wonder if you’re good enough.

The constant worrying that you’re not good enough and worthy of love? This will go away as well. The consistent question of whether you’ll ever be allowed to be yourself and relax will pass.

The worry that you might never have true friends – friends who will love you for being you, stick up for you, and take care of you? Friends, you don’t have to explain yourself to? In a few years, none of it will even be an issue.

Trust me. There will come a day when you won’t have the fake friends you have in school. And when that day arrives, you will have real friends. People who will love you for all that you are and all the beauty you bring to this world!

There will come a day when you’ll have the courage to walk away from toxic people. You will have the courage to let go of those who are no good for you. And you won’t be afraid to stand alone until better people find you.

The bullying you endure now won’t even matter anymore.

There will come a day when you’ll be so confident and secure in yourself that the cruel words of others will no longer matter. The time will come when you’ll have a family of your own and friends who’ll love you for you.

Letter to a Bullied Girl:

People will no longer only tolerate you. They’ll celebrate you!

Your courage is astounding! And each rejection, each bad name, each cruel taunt hurled; each punch, each kick, shove, and blow to your body will piss you off a little more, and a little more. But that anger will give you the dogged determination to tune out the naysayers, follow your dreams, and reach success!

Each incident of bullying is only preparing you for what you’re meant to do later. It’s preparing you for a rewarding and prosperous future.

Each blow you take – each bruise, each disappointment, each humiliation, each pull of your hair, and each tear you cry is only making you better. It’s making you the woman you’re meant to become —a more compassionate, empathetic, stronger, and wiser person.

Your loneliness now will be a source of appreciation for the circle of friends and abundance of love you’ll have later. Naivete will become wisdom.

Your persecution will become your launchpad. And your bullies, your motivation.

I know it hurts. It hurts terribly! But the pain you suffer today will be the power you enjoy tomorrow!

This post was a letter to a bullied girl to help encourage you to keep going when things are at their worst. Also, it’s to give you determination, hope, and courage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Open Letter to Bullies: From One who Overcame

2. Having the Courage to be Disliked: 7 Reasons to be Okay with It

3. There’s Always Hope: 11 Things to Remember When People Bully You

4. Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out: 11 Must-Know Facts about Bullies