Tag: Life Lessons

Life Lessons from Bullying: 16 Powerful Takeaways to Remember

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 ‘Want to know all the life lessons from bullying? Here are all the morals of your bullying story that you need to know about.

life lessons from bullying

To endure bullying is the fight of your life. Though it’s painful, even excruciating, there are lessons you learn from it.

In this post, you will learn all the life lessons from bullying that you can take.

Once you learn all about these important lessons, you will feel much better about yourself. Moreover, you will look back one day and be glad you kept going when you wanted to give up.

This post is all about the life lessons from bullying to give you the strength to push forward instead of quitting.

Life Lessons from Bullying

I know it’s tough. But keep pushing on! Don’t quit! Don’t give up! I promise you that it will all be worth it in the end.

Here are all the takeaways from being a victim of bullying.

1. You learn that Sometimes you must live with what you hate before you can move on to what you love.

In other words, you must weather the storm before you can see sunlight. Why? It’s only when you’ve been through hell, you learn to appreciate heaven so much more.

Although your mind keeps telling you that there’s something wrong with you, know that there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s not your fault.

I know you want so badly to fix it, but you don’t know what’s broken.

You may think that you must be doing something to rub these people the wrong way. You aren’t. And if you listen to your heart, it will tell you differently.

Your heart will tell you that you did nothing wrong. Also, it will tell you that the bullies who bully you don’t like themselves and that they’re putting all that negative energy off on you.

This war between your mind and your heart leaves you exhausted. But, no matter how bad things get, don’t lose that small glimmer of hope in your eyes.

Although you carry an enormous amount of pain, you’re still holding on, taking it one day at a time. Keep it up.

Please love yourself. Continue to forge your path despite how others may treat you.

2. Life Lessons from Bullying:

You learn to Never hate those who bully you.

You can never repay hate with hate. Therefore, please don’t hate your bullies. Instead, feel sorry for them- take pity on them.

Hate only eats you up and rots out your very soul. It does nothing to your bullies. It only hurts you. There’s dignity in being hated.

Therefore, in your hate, you give your bullies dignity they don’t deserve. Feeling pity for them is so much better because there’s no dignity in pity.

3. You learn that Bullies fight demons of their own.

Their lives aren’t as perfect as they let on. Believe it or not, your bullies are hurting too. They have mental problems of their own that they never confessed to or got help for.

Only they’ll never in this lifetime tell you about it. Understand that they’re only keeping up appearances, which is such hard work.

Moreover, they’re angry at you because you don’t have to work as hard as they do.

If you’re being bullied at school, a lot of your bullies are indeed spoiled and coddled. However, many of them are abused at home. Some have parents who are into prostitution or drugs and alcohol, and who fight.

Also, many bullies are dirt poor, surviving on welfare and ashamed of it. Many of those you go to school with have home lives you couldn’t imagine! And school is their happy place.

Therefore, they’re only taking all their pain and frustrations out on you.

Looking back on my own experiences, I realize that my home life was better than most kids my age. I’m thankful for that. My home was a sanctuary compared to those of most of the other kids.

4. Life Lessons from Bullying:

You learn that You’re stronger than you realize.

You don’t yet realize how strong, brave, and resilient you are. But you are, just for the fact that you haven’t dropped out of school like so many of your classmates. You haven’t quit the race! You haven’t given up on life!

Even though others will bombard you with a barrage of attacks once you pass through the school entrance, you manage to find the courage to get up every morning and go to school. And you do it scared!

So, who are the weak ones now?

5. You learn that Most of your bullies will only end up miserable later on.

They may have favor with most of the teachers, even the ones who have little hope for you. However, most of them will never leave this town. This is a small town- only a dot on the map.

And, in a small town, it doesn’t take long to maximize one’s potential.

You may feel so small and insignificant. However, each of your classmates feels the same way.

The only way they can feel big and powerful is to make you feel bad. And one day, you’re going to see just how they end up.

Only a few will make it. The rest will be living in loveless and abusive marriages. Many will be poor and wondering how they’ll pay the rent. Some will join gangs or begin slinging dope.

Several will immerse themselves in drugs and alcohol to cope with their failures in life. Also, a good portion of them will end up behind bars. And many will have kids who disrespect and hurt them.

6. Life Lessons from Bullying:

You learn that Most of your bullies will never learn to love themselves.

Instead of letting love come from within, they’ll look outside of themselves for it.

Most of your classmates will be on a desperate and never-ending search for love. They’ll go through numerous divorces and broken relationships.

They’ll never learn to fall in love with themselves and with life first.

Instead, they’ll be on an endless quest for happiness. And they’ll never realize that happiness comes from within themselves.

7. You learn that Your bullies see you as a threat.

You must realize that you’re a major threat to your bullies. Do you know why? It’s because you’re smart.

You’re smart enough to see right through them, and they know it. They also hate it. Why? Because they’re afraid that you’re exposing the bullying and letting all their skeletons out of the closet.

Why do you think they shout you down and tell you to “shut up” every time you start to open your mouth? Why do you think they scream at you when you answer a teacher’s question in class?

And, why do you think they tell you to sit down every time you get out of your seat to sharpen a pencil or turn in homework?

It’s because they’re very much afraid that you’ll upstage them somehow. So, they keep you afraid to open your mouth or be noticed.

You’re also talented. And your classmates know it, and they’re jealous of it.

They hate it when you display your talents. Again, understand that they’re afraid that you just might outshine them.

You have so much potential. You just don’t know it yet. Why? Because your bullies have programmed you to think that you’re no good and will never amount to anything.

8. Life lessons from Bullying:

You learn that The Bullying you suffer is only temporary.

Life won’t always be this way. Bullies won’t always bully you. They won’t always be in your life.

Trust me. There will come a day when others will accept you. They will no longer just tolerate you but celebrate you.

You will have friends one day. Not fake ones, but real friends who’ll love you for all that you are and the beauty you bring to this world.

Also, you’ll have the courage to walk away from toxic people who are no good for you. And you won’t be afraid to stand alone until better people find you.

9. You learn to read people.

You learn to recognize threatening body language and facial expressions very quickly.

Being bullied will make you a very accurate people reader. If there’s anyone who will teach you the level of evil human beings are capable of, it’s bullies.

Once you’ve suffered the vicious onslaught of bullying for long, your people senses sharpen tremendously. This allows you to more accurately pick up on body language, facial expressions, tonality, and the hidden emotions/intentions of others around you.

Even better, you learn to read those split-second flashes or micro-expressions most others miss. Why? Because it becomes key to your survival!

This is only natural. An example would be a person who has lost their sight. We’ve heard stories of people who have suddenly gone blind. The same people reported that the other four senses automatically sharpened to compensate for the lost ability to see.

This is a natural survival mechanism of the body. It is the same when someone is bullied.

A victim of bullying is in a constant state of being threatened, both physically and psychologically. To survive, the person’s “sixth sense” and the ability to read non-verbal communication heightens to near perfection.

Again, this is only the brain’s and body’s way of protecting them. Understand that what compels a person to hone certain powers is always…ALWAYS necessity.

In other words, if our survival depends on how well we read the emotions, moods, and intentions of those around us, we will find a way to tap into that power. And we will learn it forward, backwards, upside down, and sideways!

10. Life Lessons from Bullying:

You learn that The bullying you suffer sharpens your BS detector.

The bullying you suffer now will turn you into a radar for bullshit. Bullying is never good, but it does have its payoffs for victims later.

You won’t see the benefits until after the bullying is over and you’ve healed. However, I can tell you that a bullied past has its positive takeaways.

And one of them is a fine-tuned ability to smell bullshit from a mile away. Being a target of bullies has ways of giving you an almost psychic ability to see through people.

Moreover, you can detect true motives and intentions. Having dealt with bullies allows you to observe a large group of people, then spot and pick out the fakes and troublemakers.

And you can do it at lightning speed and with accuracy. You don’t have to say a word. All you do is stand back and watch.

Think of it this way. A person who loses his sight experiences a much keener sense of hearing. Therefore, it’s the same concept with survivors and targets of bullying.

A victim of bullying quickly grows the ability to read people like a newspaper. Why? Out of sheer necessity. Many bullying survivors can read body language like an FBI agent, deciphering the tiniest of micro-expressions.

One can even pick up on the vibes others put out…especially negative ones. When a certain skill is mandatory for survival, nature gives you no choice but to quickly hone that skill.

This is a gift. However, it comes at a heavy price.

11. Life lessons from Bullying:

You learn that your safety is your responsibility.

If you’re a victim of bullying, can you truly rely on people in authority to help you? Can you rely on them to do something about the bullying you suffer?

Moreover, can you depend on them to hold your bullies accountable for their horrible behavior? Can you rely on others to bring you justice?

The answer is a resounding NO!

Life is but a vapor, and we only get one chance in this world. Therefore, it’s your responsibility to make that chance count.

If bullies make a derogatory statement to you. It’s your responsibility to counter that statement. So, start today by countering every negative statement your bullies may throw at you.

Tell yourself that you are awesome. Also, tell yourself that you’re a trooper and you deserve much better than the shit people have been giving you.

Only you have control over your life. Therefore, isn’t it time that you got pissed and took your life back?

Why not become a force to be reckoned with? Stand up to these confidence thieves! Let them know that they have no control over your life. Reclaim your power and do it NOW!

Only you have the responsibility to defend yourself from bullying. Your safety is on you!

12. Life Lessons from Bullying:

You learn that No one else is coming to rescue you.

No one is coming to save you from bullying. Not your teachers, your principal, your supervisors, or managers! Moreover, neither the police nor the government is coming to rescue you either.

Again, it’s your responsibility to stand up to your bullies.

It’s up to you to report your bullies. And if that doesn’t work, it’s up to you to defend yourself against them.

13. You learn that Governments can’t legislate bullying out of Bullies.

In other words, you cannot pass laws against it and think that it will go away. Passing laws against bullying will get a lot of innocent victims of it in trouble.

I used to be all about laws against bullying. And yes, the idea sounds great. I won’t pretend it doesn’t.

However, I’m beginning to gravitate away from making bullying a crime. Why? Because most people aren’t going to protect targets until it happens to them or one of theirs.

Here’s another reason I’m gravitating away from making bullying a crime. It’s because most seasoned bullies are believable liars.

They have a flair for flipping the script and painting their victims as the bad guys. Therefore, if lawmakers make bullying an imprisonable crime, many innocent targets would end up behind bars.

If you’re a victim of bullying, you must learn to take care of yourself.

14. Life Lessons from Bullying:

You learn that Anti-Bullying policies aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on.

You cannot rely too much on policies. Why? Because they have no teeth!

Schools and workplaces can write all the anti-bullying rules and policies they want. However, until they enforce those policies, they’re cheap. As cheap as the ink and paper that administrators use to make them!

What good are laws and policies if these entities don’t enforce them? And, at what point do we stop relying on the system to protect us and start protecting ourselves?

Understand that, no matter what anyone says, you don’t have to put up with anyone else’s crap. Therefore, it’s up to you to stand up to bullies and do it properly.

And if defending yourself doesn’t work, you have the option to remove yourself from the situation and environment.

15. You learn that bullies will keep bullying you unless you stand up for yourself.

Too many victims have been conditioned to think that self-defense is wrong. It isn’t!

And those who condition these victims to think this way are mostly bullies themselves. Therefore, if bullies select you for bullying, you must stand up for yourself. And you do it by setting boundaries!

Also, you must know your enemies. How you do this is to do a lot of study and research on bullies. Then, you can use the knowledge you gain to outmaneuver them.

16. Life Lessons from Bullying:

You learn to stop caring about what others say or think.

Opinions are just that – opinions! They’re the cheapest commodities on earth! Therefore, you shouldn’t give much value to them.

For someone to offend you, you must first value their opinion. And, to value someone’s opinion, you must also value them. So, stop giving undue value to ignorant people. They damn sure haven’t earned it!

The value you give to an opinion depends on the person giving it and your relationship to them. Put simply, the value of your loving mother’s opinion holds much more value than that of some jerk at work!

In Conclusion

Bullying is painful as hell. No doubt about it. However, if you look for the lessons it can teach you, you will come out on the other side, a winner!

This post was all about the life lessons from bullying so that you can more easily overcome it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. 5 Things to Never Do with a Bully

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Opinions are Not Facts: 7 Reasons Those of Bullies Don’t Matter

Know Your Worth As a Woman: 5 Rules to Live by

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Do you know what it means to know your worth as a woman? Here are rules you should live by to increase your value.

know your worth as a womanWhen you know your worth as a woman, you’re least likely to settle for anything less than what you want and what you know you deserve.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what it is to know your worth as a woman. Moreover, you’ll live by your beliefs and convictions so that you can increase your value and live the life you deserve.

Once you know this life-changing information, you will successfully increase your feminine value. Moreover, you’ll be more capable of creating the good life you deserve because you won’t settle for crap.

This post is all about what it is to know your worth as a woman so that you can know your true value and live up to it.

Know Your Worth as a Woman

A high-value woman is worth more than gold. However, with the moral decline of today’s females, she’s a rare commodity. Even so, potential partners still hope to find her.

First, here’s a scenario. A fourteen-year-old girl comes home from school to find both her grandmother’s sitting at the kitchen table.

Having both grown up during the Great Depression and been daughters of farmers, the grandmothers only have fifth-grade and seventh-grade educations, yet they are geniuses in common sense and street smarts!

As they sit together, sipping coffee and having just finished a card game, the girl’s maternal grandmother tells her the story of how her grandfather cheated on her many times but only dropped the other woman in the end.

She also tells her how she ended up divorcing him. After she tells her the story. Her sweet grandmas then give her 5 Rules all women should live by.

Rule Number 1

“Never, ever have an affair with a married man because you only settle for second place when you do, sweetheart. You decrease your value as a woman when you go with another woman’s husband”

“In other words, you cheapen yourself. Wouldn’t you rather find your own husband and be his one and only?”

Naturally, the young girl’s answer is an emphatic “YES!”

Know Your Worth as a Woman:

Her maternal grandmother continued:

“When a woman dates a married man, she decreases her worth as a woman- and she does it immensely. She reduces herself to the lowest common denominator.”

“Moreover, she lives on the fantasy and false promise that the man will leave his wife for her. In most cases, he doesn’t. She only waits, with bated breath, wasting her valuable time on someone who doesn’t deserve her love let alone his wife’s.”

“Philanderers don’t change. And if he does leave his wife and marries the mistress, he’ll only eventually cheat on her too. When you have an affair with a married man, you sell yourself short. You set yourself up for a huge letdown later. Therefore, you must choose someone who isn’t already committed and who you can call your own.”

“That’s right.” the girl’s paternal grandmother agreed. Then she began to speak.

Rule Number 2

“And never ever throw herself at a man, or worse- crawl up behind someone who doesn’t want you. I see a lot of young girls in your age group doing this and the only thing it does is make them look desperate.”

“Moreover, the guys they chase only get an ego rush from it, them sit back with the buddies and laugh at the girl behind her back. Now, I know you haven’t begun dating yet, but I want to let you know now, so that you’ll avoid these pitfalls when you do begin to date.”

As the girl’s paternal grandmother, a widow, spoke her words, she listened attentively and the maternal grandmother nodded in agreement as she looked at the young girl with those beautiful, wide, but serious eyes.

Now before I go on, I realize that times have changed since I was a young girl and that I may offend a few people out there who may accuse me of using stereotypical gender roles and such. However, the girl in the story was I and this is the conversation we had.

Therefore, for those of you who are thinking about sending me a flamer about how “politically incorrect” this post sounds and that I should be more “gender neutral,” do not!

Know Your Worth as a Woman:

Don’t listen to the in things of today, listen to your heart.

Don’t waste both your time and mine by trying to “school” me on the unwritten rules of identity politics because I’m not interested! This post isn’t about identity politics.

What it is about is knowing your worth as a woman and a person. Also, it’s about the importance of self-value, which, sadly, is in short supply in people these days.

Getting back to the subject, my grandmothers sure knew what they were talking about. They were two of the smartest and socially savviest women I knew. God rest their souls, I considered them life-geniuses! They were both masters at human nature and the hidden motivations and intentions of people!

Our little talk really made an impression on me that day. I never forgot that conversation and continued to live by it.

Know Your worth as a Woman:

Rule Number 3

You must value yourself. Therefore, my point to the above story is that no matter what relationship you choose, heterosexual, homosexual, or otherwise, you should always know your worth. You should value yourself enough not to even begin a relationship with someone who’s already taken. Know that there are always better options.

I say this not to judge anyone, but to convince you to see that you’re worth so much more than you think. In other words, you’re worth so much more than being a side-partner to some creepy toad who doesn’t value women.

The same goes for men who have affairs with married women or settle for fem-toads who either don’t value them or who cheat on them. You must start treating yourselves better!

When you date someone who’s already in a marriage or committed relationship, you set yourself up to play second fiddle. To be okay with lapping up someone else’s sloppy seconds? Yuck! Why would anyone settle for that pathetic crap?

Here’s something else I’ll bet you haven’t thought of. If you have an affair with someone else’s romantic partner, you might as well be wearing their underwear! Egads!

Rule Number 4

Don’t settle. In other words, don’t be okay with someone who wants to only shack up with you!

Know Your Worth as a Woman:

The Value of a Wedding Band

Too many women these days don’t value themselves like they should, especially women who have suffered past bullying and abuse. And many predatory men will take advantage.

Take it from someone who made that mistake when she was young and naive. Shacking up isn’t what it’s cracked up to be.

A woman who prefers marriage over living together knows her value and isn’t afraid of making it clear what she wants out of life. She is confident and a man who is worth her time will respect her and be willing to commit his life to her and make her his wife.

In no way am I telling people how to live. If you’d rather live together than to be married, then that’s your business and I won’t judge you for it. And there are couples who live together and eventually marry but that’s a rare occurrence these days.

Know that you’re worthy of so much more.

If a man wants you to live with him but doesn’t want to marry, how much does he actually think of you? Really think about it.

He expects you to cook, clean, and go to bed with him every night, and yet, he doesn’t think enough of you to make it official? Remember that you teach people how to treat you by what you accept. Seriously, don’t you think you deserve better?

Rule Number 5

Don’t be afraid to go after the relationship you want.

Don’t be like the woman in the video!

Know Your Worth as a Woman:

Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve.

There are reasons why marriage is so much better than shacking up

1. There’s much more security.

Marriage is more legally binding than living together ever will be. Understand that people who marry make much more of a commitment to their partners than those who only live together.

2. There are higher levels of trust between partners.

The average couple who is married trusts each other more than the average couple who lives together outside marriage. I know that many will counter me with statistics of a high divorce rate. However, this should not deter you from getting married if that’s what you want.

When my husband and I were dating and the subject came up, I made it absolutely clear that the only man I would even consider living with would be the man I married. I knew what I wanted, and I didn’t fear speaking up about it.

Moreover, Mike loved and respected me for it. He thought a lot more of me, and eventually, he asked me to marry him. And the real kicker is that the first few times he asked, I said no because I wasn’t ready yet.

But he never gave up and eventually, I said yes.

3. Know Your Worth as a Woman:

Know your value. You are not free neither are you cheap.

There’s an old saying that was popular when I was growing up and it pertained to the attitudes of those who didn’t want the responsibility of marriage but wanted the perks of it:

“Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”

Nothing is free. There’s always a price in some way, shape, or form.

If I perform the duties of a wife, then I’m damn sure going to have the title. If I’m going to wash some guy’s dirty underwear, clip his toenails, or wash his funky feet when he’s sick and cannot do it himself, you can believe I’m going to do it with a marriage certificate and a wedding band.

When two people are truly in love, the chances are high that they will marry.

Realize that you have value. If you want marriage and your boyfriend doesn’t want to step up to the plate after you’re together for a few years, then let him go.

It won’t be easy, but don’t be afraid to walk away if your guy isn’t emotionally mature enough for marriage. Then you can make room for a man who deserves you. Understand that you deserve to be a wife, not a forever girlfriend.

Know Your Worth as a Woman:

Don’t be afraid to walk away from emotionally immature partners.

Therefore, love yourself enough to walk away from a man of low quality. Value yourself enough to wait for a high-quality man who deserves you and who wants your hand in marriage. You’re worth it, don’t you think?

http://www.thebridalbox.com/articles/benefits-of-marriage_0051522/

http://www.thelist.com/41041/surprising-benefits-married/

If you don’t learn to value and be true to yourself, how do you expect a potential partner to value and be true to you?

You value yourself by getting absolutely clear on what you will not settle for and what you won’t tolerate. Also, you value yourself by avoiding such partners who are known for cheating on their significant others.

You also value yourself by avoiding any toxic person, commanding respect, and being selective of friends and even choosier of dating and romantic partners.

Know that you deserve so much more. You deserve to be one and only in someone’s life and that should be non-negotiable. Anything less than that is unacceptable!

This post was all about what it means to know your worth as a woman so that you can start treating yourself better and going after what you know you deserve.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why is Self Acceptance Important? 21 Must-Know Reasons

2. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

3. Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some

4. Be Happy Be Yourself: 3 Benefits You Reap When You Stop Caring What Others Think

5. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence