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physical bullying definition

Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

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‘Want to know what you should do if you endure physical bullying. Here are the self-protection measures I and many other overcomers of bullying swear by.

physical bullying

Being punched, kicked, choked, and shoved plagues millions of victims in school, at work, in the neighborhood, and in the home each year.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the physical bully. Moreover, you’ll discover the mindset behind this kind of abuse.

Once you learn all about these types of people, you will be better able to protect yourself against them. Here is what you can do if a bully thinks they’re entitled to put their hands on you.

This post is all about physical bullying so that you can know what’s behind it and how to defend against it.

First, let’s learn the exact mindset and motives of this dangerous type of abuse.

The Psychology Behind Physical Bullying

These types of bullies use force because of an inner sense that they otherwise would have no influence over people. When people dare to disagree with, defy, thwart, or worse, ignore them, they automatically think:

  • “Nobody will listen to me.”
  • “I can’t get anywhere with anyone.”
  • “They don’t value me.”
  • “They don’t respect me.”
  • “I can’t get any cooperation out of anyone.”
  • “I can’t get any satisfaction.”

And the list goes on and on…

This causes them to feel weak and defeated. Therefore, they use force and violence to get their point across because it’s the only thing that works for them.

People who use force Are the Weakest of All

However, that is weakness because people only submit because they don’t want the bully to beat them up. In other words, they never do it because they want to, but to keep themselves safe from harm.

True persuasion or influence is having someone do something for you because they want to do it. When people have a choice and they choose to do something you want, the result is so much more rewarding.

Understand that these bullies see everything as zero-sum: They either have total control, or no control at all. There’s no in-between. If they can’t have complete influence, they feel ineffective and powerless.

People who uses Physical bullying often compare themselves with others.

They see themselves as less effective than others when it comes to persuasion and influence. They feel that they’re no good at getting others to cooperate or at being in command of circumstances and situations.

Therefore, in their intense anger and rage, these bullies shift the blame. They shift blame from their own sense of powerlessness to the behavior of their targets.

In other words, hese people then see their targets as their enemies or adversaries. So, they feel that they must punish and destroy these targets.

Using this kind of Violence for Anything Other Than Self-Defense is Weakness.
  • “(The target) is wrong for defying me.”
  • “He never listens to me.”
  • “She never pays attention to me.”
  • “That loser is not giving me the respect they owe me.”

When these people shift the blame onto their targets, they are able to blunt the pains of their frustrations and disappointments. Why? Because anger and rage are less unpleasant than sadness and hopelessness.

Again, I want you to realize that this is weakness in and of itself.  These individuals may look strong and mighty as they’re beating up on some poor helpless human being. However, what they really are is weak.

In fact, they’re the weakest of all other types of bullies. And it’s simply because they can’t get power any other way. The only way they can get it is to use the fear of physical harm and yes, even murder.

Outside of their use of fear and bodily harm, these bullies are totally ineffective. They have no gift of gab, charm or seductive powers. In other words, they cannot get people to do what they want them to do through the use of persuasion.

those who use physical bullying are No Different Than Rapists

I’ll use rapists as an example: The reason why most rapists rape isn’t only about power over another. Put bluntly, it’s because they couldn’t get sex any other way.

Maybe they have no game- they have a hard time seducing a woman to go to bed with them. It could be that they don’t know how to flirt with or court a woman effectively.

Moreover, they may be creepy or unattractive and women find them repulsive. Either way, they’re a turn off to them, which means that they are ineffective and powerless.

Therefore, the only way they can get sexual gratification is to use force and violence- rape!

Anytime anyone has to physically threaten you to make you do what they want, it only means that you have all the power, not them. Yes, they may beat the crap out of you, but chances are good that you don’t have to resort to that kind of behavior to get your needs met.

And your scratches, bruises, and broken bones will heal. But your bullies’ stupidity and lack of social intelligence, powers of persuasion, and people skills are things they are stuck with- forever!

And if nothing else, remember this! You have a God-given, animal right to defend yourself from harm. If a bully is pounding on you, it’s no use to rely on the school, workplace, and sometimes the law to protect you. You must learn to protect yourself and if that means throwing up your dukes, so be it!

Should you defend yourself from physical bullying by hitting back?

This seems to be the question on everyone’s mind these days, especially in the notoriously politically correct climate in which we live. The media and politicians vehemently discourage fighting violence with violence.

Moreover, you’ll hear statements from others, such as:

  • “Be the bigger person and walk away.”
  • “Two wrongs don’t make a right?”

I’ve heard them all.

Using more peaceful solutions, walking away from the bully and reporting it sounds good. However, sometimes peaceful solutions don’t work because they won’t let you be peaceful.

If you don’t stand up for yourself, the bully will only continue to come after you and hurt you. Also, everyone who knows you will see you as a punching bag at school or work and everywhere else.

Why? Because when word gets around that one person can hit you and get away with it, everyone else will think they can too. They’ll peg you as the school or the community whipping boy. That’s no way to live.

In the middle of a physical attack, the last resort is the only option you take.

So, How do you respond to it? here it is:

When a bully physically attacks you, you have a God-given, primal, animal right to defend yourself from being harmed. I state this with full conviction!

Therefore, if a bully hits you first, haul off and knock his block off! And when you do, don’t just give him a love pat. Deck the creep with the strength of your entire body- hit so hard that the bully has difficulty getting back up.

Then unleash a hail of hard licks so that he doesn’t get up. Because once the bully gets up, he will charge you!

Yeah. I know it isn’t the “politically correct” thing to do. But when someone is harming you, all that jazz about political correctness and being the bigger person goes out the window, and the gloves are off.

Make physical bullies Not want to put their hands on you ever again!

The only thing you should think of at this point is how to disable the bully. Additionally, you want to give him such a bad memory that he’ll never even think about coming for you again.

You aren’t a troublemaker or a brute for this, folks! It’s called self-defense!

Again, punch the bully’s lights out! School stuff may suspend you from school, and managers may fire you from work. You may even go to jail for a night or two. However, people are much more vicious with physical attacks nowadays.

Furthermore,  if you just let someone smack you around, they’ll only intensify the beatings until they hurt you bad enough to send you to the hospital or worse! And you’d much rather them suspend me, fire me, or take me to jail than to spend a month in the hospital or end up six feet under.

Nevertheless, you may not condone fighting. Although you may need to fight many times in school, you may hate it each time you have to. However, when you’re a 5’4″, 120-pound girl being jumped and most of the time by multiple assailants, it may be your only option.

Also, if you are a small-built male and the attacker is much bigger than you, it’s not the time to play patty-cake. There will be times when you’re boxed in and cannot go anywhere.

When there’s no other choice, it’s either fight or risk your bullies possibly maiming or killing you. Sometimes the last resort is the only way to protect yourself.

You must let the bully know that you’re not the one to mess with and that you aren’t afraid to fight back if necessary.

There will be others who may disagree with this post, and that’s okay. I am very thick-skinned now and rarely do I get offended. I can agree to disagree. But I will do what I have to do to protect my well-being and my life if ever I’m in physical danger.

So, if all else fails, go ahead and whoop that ***!

This post was all about physical bullying and why you should defend yourself against it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

3. Bullying is Abuse: 9 Ways Bullying and Abuse are The Same

4. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

5. Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out: 11 Must-Know Facts about Bullies

Bullying and Plausible Deniability

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Most bullying is emotional and psychological torture. Sure, there are many physically violent bullies out there and they are psychologically traumatizing enough using their fists. However, physical bullies are either (a)not very socially intelligent and persuasive, (b) attack in groups wearing masks over their faces to give them anonymity, (c) so well-connected that they’re almost untouchable, or (d) couldn’t care less about the consequences they will face.

The reason most bullies prefer psychological violence is because there are no bruises, cuts, wounds, scars, or any visible marks on the target’s body. And without visible marks, there’s no proof of the abuse. Therefore, when you report the abuse, the perpetrators aren’t likely to get into trouble for it and you stand more of a chance of being accused of being too sensitive, paranoid, or mentally ill.

These are the reasons I recommend being prepared when you know you must walk into a snake pit.

Here are ways to gather evidence:

1. Document the abuse- I’ve said it many times before and I’ll say it many more. It’s crucial to document each bullying incidence and do it in detail. Use the 5W method- (What, who, why, when, where…and sometimes how) write down what happened, who was involved, who were the bystanders and witnesses, why the bullying incident happened (retaliation for reporting a prior bullying incident?) when it happened (date and exact time of incidence) and where it happened (school bathroom, locker room, gym, behind the school, the parking lot, etc.).

2. Wear a body camera- If you live in a one-party consent jurisdiction and the laws permit you to wear one, I recommend you wear a body camera. In fact, I can’t stress it enough! Body cams that record both video and audio are your best bet, but if you can only get a cam that records video, that’s fine too as you can still capture physical attacks and body language. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but a video is worth a thousand pictures because if bullying is caught on video, there’s no question that it’s happening and it’s the best evidence you can get!

3. Keep a digital recorder handy- These are good for recording verbal altercations and many of them today can play recorded sound that is clear and not muffled.

4. Make 3-4 Copies of your evidence- Whether it’s documentation, body cam recordings, or digital audio recordings, it’s always best to make several copies of the evidence because schools, companies, and other entities are notorious for (deliberately) misplacing and losing a target’s evidence of bullying. Yeah, I know. Convenient, isn’t it?

5. Keep each of your copies in different (undisclosed) locations- This is so important! Because, if you think school districts and companies haven’t snooped through a target’s office, or worse, hired people to break into their houses to search for evidence they can dispose of, you’re wrong! When it comes to the threat of being sued, schools and companies will resort to anything, and I mean anything!

6. Screenshot and save any nasty and abusive emails, texts, or private messages- Very important! Any time bullies resort to cyber-bullying you via email, text, or private message, they automatically leave a paper trail! Screenshot it, save it, and, if need be, print them all out. Make copies of them and the files. Store each copy in an entirely different place (your house, your grandma’s house, your lawyer’s office, etc.) Store them in a fireproof safe!

They snoop through your garbage when you put it out on the street for the trash-men to pick up the next morning, break into your vehicle, and other nefarious things to cover their butts. I’ve read many an article about these things happening to targets of bullying, whether in school, the workplace, or community. And in today’s world, bullies are now targeting their victims for surveillance drones and school boards are targeting parents with electronic surveillance as well, then spreading their private information and pictures of children to some evil entities.

It’s a very dangerous world nowadays and you never know what sick people you just might be dealing with.

gavel and soundblock of justice law and lawyer working on wooden desk background

I can’t stress enough how important it is to gather your own evidence. Quietly do your own investigation. It’s pointless to rely on the school or workplace to investigate for you because the results will only be in the bullies’ and the investigating entity’s favor, not yours! Never, ever trust anyone else to gather evidence or investigate for you. When you’re targeted for bullying, you cannot afford to trust anyone but yourself and I’m not joking! When you’re bullied, it’s not the time to be lazy. The only person you can depend on is you. Only you can gather the evidence you need to prove that you’re targeted by bullies, take legal action, and get justice.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

When Cyber-Bullying Becomes Dangerous- Doxxing

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Not long ago, I wrote a post entitled, “Cyber-Bullies, Stalkers, and Trolls.” In it I mentioned the importance of not letting faceless cowards get to you. I also mentioned that most of the above were a bunch of losers who were living in their mom’s basements and were bored and miserable with their existences and were to be laughed at or pitied.

And that’s most certainly true with most keyboard warriors. But!

What happens when online bullying goes too far? What happens when you encounter a more sinister troll- one who doxxes you and finds out your address, cellphone number, where you work, go to school, hang out- or, even scarier, who your family members are?

Then, it’s no laughing matter! This is a situation you must take seriously because things can get dangerous fast. If a troll doxxes you and finds out all this information, who’s to say the cyber-stalking bully won’t show up at your door and try to break in? Who’s to say the creep won’t go after your spouse and kids?

Anytime you have a doxxer on your tail, you’re dealing with a very vindictive, diabolical, and mentally disturbed individual(s) and you don’t know what the person is capable of!

In recent years, we’ve heard many, many stories of people being doxxed and creeps showing up on their doorsteps wanting to deal with them personally. Some people have had to go into hiding and a few have even had to go underground. It’s terrifying!

This is not paranoia; these are real and legitimate fears. And it’s plain to see that the law isn’t doing enough to protect innocent, law-abiding citizens when it comes to cyber-bullying and doxxing.

I believe the reason why people aren’t protected, and laws aren’t passed to crack down on trolling, cyber-bullying, cyber-stalking, and doxxing is because neither Big Tech nor the government takes it seriously, and may even condone the behavior.

Big Tech is too powerful. Also, many of our lawmakers, especially oones with an evil agenda, secretly encourage this kind of behavior. How else could they keep track of, instill fear in, and censor those who do not go along with their narratives and who don’t live their lives the way theu think they should?

So, why would they regulate their own minions and tools who’ve been working for them and risk Big Tech de-funding their causes and campaigns?

Sadly, I don’t expect any laws to be passed to protect private citizens against doxxing anytime soon. In fact, if certain wealthy people (like George Soros, for instance) actually hire people to cyber-bully, troll, and dox “dissenters,” it’s a given that nothing will be done to protect the innocent.

With that said, if you’re ever in a situation where you’ve been cyber-stalked and doxxed by a cyber-bully, you must do what you must do to protect your privacy (or what little of it we all have left). Be aware of your surroundings and if anyone approaches you or breaks into your home, do what you’ve got to do to stay safe!

Doxxing cyber bullying

You have a  God-given, primal, and Constitutional right to protect yourself and the people you love. Yeah! You know what I’m saying. If someone inters your home uninvited and has clear intentions to hurt you and your family, you know what to do!

I may get some heat from the PC “woke” crowd over this post, but I don’t care. When it comes to safety and protection of human lives, any feelings and opinions automatically take a back seat. Period. Full stop!

Because, if some creep ever invades my house and it comes down to the lives of myself and my family, it’s no holds barred! I believe in the right to bear arms and to use them when the lives of you or your loved ones are threatened.

And I’d much rather be judged by twelve than carried by six- or worse, one of my family members get carried by six.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Cancel Culture- A Breeding Ground for Cyber-Bullies Who Are Twice as Dangerous (Part 2)

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 (…Continued from Part 1)

For the life of me, I cannot understand why these things have been allowed to go on. Why doesn’t the law do anything about terroristic threats like the ones above? Before the internet, if you stalked someone and threatened to kill them, you were arrested. You were charged with Terroristic Threatening, Stalking, or both and you went to jail. And back then, if you slandered or libeled someone without any evidence to back up your claims, you got your pants sued off.

You can’t tell me that this can’t still be done with the robust cyber-security agencies that we have today. You cannot tell me that the law hasn’t caught up with technology and can’t find the criminals who are destroying the lives of innocent people. How hard is it to ping an IP address? Even if the cyber-bully is hiding behind a proxy and cloaking their IP address, we have cyber-security teams who could still find ways to track them.

And what really blows my mind is that you don’t see many pedophiles and child sex traffickers being cancelled, which is pretty odd (and suspicious) to me. But I’ll save that for a future post.

Most of the time, cancel culture isn’t even justifiable. Cyber-bullies in the age of cancel culture attack people and publicly shame them for the most absurd, ludicrous, and ridiculous reasons! All it takes is for a person to say something, anything that someone else takes the wrong way, or for the wrong person to see an old high school photograph of a guy in drag at a Halloween party back in the 70’s. And back then, a lot of men dressed as women on Halloween, and no one thought anything of it. It was just a Halloween costume and some crazy kids out having fun. Yet the guy gets cancelled over it 40 years later. It’s ridiculous!

Alas, despite the deaths from suicide and murder that have arisen from cancel culture, people still allow this scourge on humanity to persist. And it’s so widespread that it will come knocking on your door sooner or later. Being a blogger, I already know that it could show up on my doorstep too! Cancel culture doesn’t discriminate, anyone can be cyber-bullied and cancelled. It can happen to you, me, anyone!

In fact, three years ago, I got attacked online for “walking on the wrong side of the street” during my power walk. Walking with traffic has always seemed like a death wish to me. I’ve always walked toward traffic just in case there’s a distracted driver on the road. And if a driver is going to veer off the road toward me, I want to see them coming so I can get the hell out of the way and avoid being hit.

Granted, I never got cancelled for it, but I was told that I was the most despicable person in the world- for walking toward traffic instead of with it. Sadly, I’ve heard of many other people getting cancelled over silly stuff like that.

People go so far as to dig up their target’s personal lives and find out where they work, where their spouses or their mothers work and get them all fired from their jobs. And for what? Some stupid Halloween costume they wore forty plus years ago? Over something stupid they may have said while drunk at a kegger thirty years ago? Or because they worked at a company or for a person that is now on the cancel culture hit list twenty year ago, ten years ago, or five years ago?

It seems that cancel culture cyber-bullies must search, and search far and wide for something- anything- even the tiniest little social infraction to get the pleasure of cancelling someone. And these people will find one even if they must invent it.

It only shows that the cyber-bullies who do these kinds of things have entirely too much time on their hands. Cancel culture does nothing to make people better or teach them a lesson. What it does is make cyber-bullies that much more brazen and much more dangerous.

It gives these bullies exactly the power they need to completely obliterate the lives of innocent people who are just trying to make a living, take care of their families, and live in peace- these targets are mostly people who mind their own business, go on about their lives, and just want to be left alone.

You may disagree with me and you have every right to your opinion. But I think cancel culture should be against the law. I think it should be a Class A Felony at that! No one should be given carte blanche to screw around with someone else’s livelihood and personal life just because they don’t like them- or don’t like what they say, how they do things, the way they live their lives, or who they associate with. If that person isn’t committing a crime, their livelihoods and personal life should be off limits!

Just by the very nature of cancel culture, the cyber-bullies that go to these lengths to destroy their targets may say that they want to “teach them a thing or two” but, they’re not trying to teach any lessons here. They’re only using that as an excuse to deliberately cause trouble and ruin someone’s life strictly for the satisfaction of having the power to do so.

This is how they get the rush of power they so crave because they certainly can’t get it any other way. Understand that these people are life-losers. They’re zeroes trying to look like heroes. And the sad part of it is, they know they’re zeroes. They can’t get self-actualization, power, respect, nor notoriety through creativity and hard work because they’ve got no skills nor redeemable qualities to survive on merit.

Engaging in cyber-bullying and cancel culture is the only way these people can get those things and they will attain them even if it means destroying many lives and breaking laws to do so. And the power that cancel culture gives these people is dangerous and terrifying to those of us law-abiding citizens who only want to work, come home, enjoy the love of our families, and live our lives in peace.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

School Bullies Grow Up and Produce Little Bullies

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gavel and soundblock of justice law and lawyer working on wooden desk background

If you’re a target and you feel that life just isn’t fair and that bullies never get the justice they deserve, here’s hope. Bullies do eventually get their comeuppance, and often, the payback comes through their own children.

I have found that several of my bullies from school have gone on to become criminals, and the children they had either during high school or after were born mostly out of wedlock.

I don’t judge anyone who becomes a single parent, nor do I glory in the misfortunes of others. I’m mentioning a few truths to establish a typical pattern of most school bullies and what many of them become later.

Interior of cell block in abandoned State Correctional Institution, or jail., common room with jail cells.

Many of my school bullies had babies during high school, and now these children are adults. For many years, I’ve avidly read the newspaper and seen many of my former bullies’ mugshots. Now I see the mugshots of their now-adult children and read the public list of indictments, usually located on the second or third page of the county’s newspaper.

Many of my school bullies have been to prison or jail, and now their children are following in their footsteps, being charged or convicted of crimes ranging from assault and drug-charges to armed robbery and murder. One of my old school harassers, along with her adult son, has recently been charged with abuse and neglect of a vulnerable, elderly adult and theft of over $60,000.

The son of another girl who bullied me in middle school is charged with kidnapping, shooting, and killing a pregnant woman in cold blood two summers ago and is now serving a life sentence. Even more ridiculous is that the mother is talking her murdering son up, saying, “He’s really a good boy. He’s just…”, making all kinds of lame excuses for him.

She and a few others are even calling for the authorities to “Free” him. “Free So-and-so!” (I won’t mention anyone’s name here) “Free So-and-so!” is what people hear from her.

Remember that bullies are self-entitled morons who think that you and the rest of the world owe them. They believe that rules and laws do not apply to them (or their offspring).

Handcuffed hands of a prisoner behind the bars of a prison with orange clothes – Crispy desaturated dramatic filtered look

They are willing to lie, cheat, browbeat, threaten, rob, and even murder their way through life and get what they want. They also teach their children to steamroll over others, and sadly, this is what you get…a new generation of budding criminals, prison-rats, and jailbirds.

Understand that bullies may be having their heyday now. High school may be their kingdoms. But once they are out of school, their kingdoms will crumble and fall. They will find out (the hard way) that the real world doesn’t care about them or their self-perceived status. Bullies may think they’re superior, but they’re in for a very rude awakening.

Bullies may think (or attempt to make everyone else think) that they’re invincible and indestructible but rest assured that there will come a day when they will be given a generous dose of Karma. And that Karma will either visit them or worse…their perfect little darlings.

Then you will have the opportunity to see just how small, insignificant, and irrelevant those bullies really are. At the same time, you get to enjoy life’s goody-bag of a loving family, a great career, and much success!

Stay strong! Be patient! Your reward and your justice are coming! Mine did!

Cancel Culture Only Breeds Cyber-Bullies Who Are Twice as Dangerous

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Cancel Culture is just the newest and a fancier name for cyber-bullying. People often say that it was intended for the purpose of shaming racists. And maybe it was intended that way. However, as the old saying goes, “the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.” And it’s definitely true when it comes to cancel culture.

What cancel culture does is give cyber-bullies a green light to bully anyone they deem unworthy of existing on this green earth. It only breeds cyber-bullies who are more dangerous. It even breeds cyber-criminals!

Many celebrities have been cancelled. However, they’re already rich and set for life. Stars already have a nest egg of tens of millions of dollars to fall back on, if they ever get canceled. Therefore, cancel culture won’t affect them like it would a normal, everyday person with a job, bills, and a family to feed.

Normal, everyday people are the ones who suffer the most when they are canceled. And they’re the ones cyber-bullies love to drag through the mud because, as mentioned, they don’t have much of a financial cushion to rest on. Therefore, cyber-bullies will come after them before they will those who are already set.

Why? Because they want their attacks to have the maximum negative effect, so they will most likely pick people who don’t have the wherewithal to protect themselves, their families, and their assets.

Cancel culture has only groomed cyber-bullies who are twice as dangerous as earlier cyber-bullies.

As if the incendiary comments, criticism, public shaming, threats of physical violence and death aren’t bad enough, cyber-bullies are more than willing to go to extreme lengths to destroy people’s lives. Nowadays, many cyber-bullies will dox their target. They will find out where the target works or goes to school, where the target lives, who the target’s friends and family are. These cyber-bullies are the most dangerous because they get the target’s information with plans to do evil things with it.

Many targets of cancel culture cyber-bullying have had people call their places of employment and gotten them fired. Cyber-bullies have gotten their targets kicked out of school, and even shown at the target’s houses, broke in, and beat their target within an inch of their lives. A few targets have even been murdered or driven to suicide.

Many cancel culture bullies have even gone after the target’s families and friends either when they couldn’t find the target, or after they were done with the target. This kind of cyber-bullying is especially terrifying because it puts people and their loved ones in grave danger!

It’s so sad that there are so many people nowadays with this much vileness and hate eating away at their souls. I’ve been on twitter and I’ve seen so much hate directed at a lot of innocent people- comments such as,

“You have such a punchable face,”

“People like you need to hurry up and die off,”

“I want to break into your house and rape your wife and daughter,”

“You don’t belong on our planet,”

And the worst comment I’ve ever seen, which was directed toward a CEO of a small company:

“We won’t stop at killing you, we’ll kill your family too and destroy your entire bloodline!”

I could actually feel the intense hatred in each comment as I read them. And the people that post this kind of stuff? You can tell that they’re in such a bad place- a horrible place! A place I never want to be in, and I kid you not, some of the vitriol on that platform will leave you speechless!

I’m no longer on Twitter. I deleted my account last year because it seemed that everywhere I looked, I saw a slush pile of hate. I didn’t have a lot of followers on Twitter, so I was just a little fish in a huge pond who nobody was interested in cyber-bullying. Lucky me- and I say it in all seriousness!

I’m so glad I got out of that cesspool when I did!

(Continued in Part 2…)