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bullying and narcissism at work

Bullying and Narcissism: 7 Secret Powers of Narcopathic Bullies

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‘Want to know about bullying and narcissism and how they connect? Here are several ways they’re related and how you can use it to protect yourself.

bullying and narcissism

Bullies with narcissism truly believe they’re better than anyone else. They believe the world revolves around them.

Also, they think others should bow down to them like they’re royalty. Bullies with NPD have grandiose opinions of themselves. Also, they have distorted views on how others are supposed to treat them, and how the world is supposed to work.

If you’re a victim of bullying, you probably deal with many bullies like these.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying and narcissism. Also, you will learn how they connect. Thirdly, you’ll learn the powers they have.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will know what to expect from a good majority of your bullies. In that you’ll also have knowledge of how to handle them.

This post is all about bullying and narcissism, how they connect, and the powers they possess so that you’ll know what to expect.

Bullying and Narcissism

Narcopathic bullies will take advantage of you and exploit your weaknesses for their benefit. They have no empathy and have no care how they harm you. They pass unfair judgements on you and anyone else they deem inferior.

However, people with narcissism have very fragile egos, and they feel threatened by anyone who outshines them. They put up mental walls to keep threatening messages and info from penetrating their sense of self-importance.

 Moreover, those walls are supported by the insults they hurl at you.

Narcissism as a protective barrier

Bullies with Narcissistic Personality disorder can’t handle social rejection and they react fiercely to people they feel threatened by. For example, less than perfect evaluations shatter their grandiose self-image and send them into a fury.

Therefore, they protect and re-enforce their enormous but fragile egos by criticizing any negative evaluations and feedback. Many narco-bullies also use grandiosity as a cover-up for their feelings of vulnerability, inadequacy, and incompetence.

They’re deathly afraid that their shortcomings will be exposed. So, they hurl disparaging remarks and ugly names at others to distract others from their own flaws.

That’s why they need targets. They must have people like you to blame for their problems. They are really pathetic when you stop and think about it.

Bullying and Narcissism:

Seeing through the mask of perfection

It’s easy to see why these types of people are so hateful and hurtful. They need to hurt people to feel better about themselves.

Most people, especially confident people, don’t feel the need to constantly fire off zingers to intentionally hurt other people. Therefore, they don’t have to have a victim because they have a healthy sense of self.

No. People who are truly confident like to get along with everyone and enjoy seeing others happy. They have a love for other people and empathy for those who are hurting.

On the other hand, people who are infected with narcissism degrade others. Again, they need victims to collect psychological trophies from.

Healthy and confident people have a more favorable view of everyone, including people who are targets of bullying. Confident people who love themselves do not need to put others down.

But someone with NPD feels that the only way they can love themselves is to put others down. And those others include those who aren’t necessarily a threat to their grandiose views of themselves.

Narcissists feel their value comes from having power, riches, good looks, and popularity. Whereas, confident people get their value from having healthy relationships with the people who mean the most to them.

Moreover, they also place value on having positive experiences.

Therefore, these are the differences between narco-bullies and people who are truly confident.

Bullying and Narcissism:

Narco-Bullies Who Are Physically Violent

It comes down to the bully’s views of him/herself and others. Although, most narcopaths prefer subtle and indirect bullying, there are a few who use physical violence to get what they want.

The reason these bullies use physical force and violence is because they feel vulnerable in conflicts. Therefore, they go to the only problem-solving technique they’re most comfortable and familiar with- physical force.

Physical violence is the only way they feel they can punish their victims and, therefore, restore their self-esteem.

These types tend to crave instant and immediate gratification. Physical violence gives them that- an immediate rush of power and dominion. In other words, it gives them a thrill, a sense of control and that they’ve won.

Many physically violent bullies are egocentric and have delusions of grandeur. Therefore, when you stick up for yourself against them. They’re ready to kick your butt.

Moreover, all you have to do is say something, anything back to the bullies in defense and they’ll be ready to throw fists. Why? Because it shatters their grandiose image of themselves as tough guys who are always at the top.

It makes them feel weak and foolish. Then, they fly into a rage and use violence to restore that sense of power and invincibility.

Bullying and Narcissism:

In using physical aggression, these narcopaths feel they can restore their image.

Understand that these types of people are self-serving and feel superior to anyone else.  Moreover, they think they have innate entitlements that supersede even the most basic human rights of their victims.

In other words, these bullies believe they’re entitled to harm you and do it freely. And they feel that you’re just supposed to “shut up and take it.”

In fact, in their mixed-up minds, you’re to just take the abuse without so much as a question.

And when you oppose and protest the abuse, these narcopaths will take it as an insult. Therefore, they’ll use forceful and violent measures to take you down.

These people derive feelings of pleasure when beating on you. Moreover, they feel no shame unless the wrong people find them out.

In most cases, they are open with their violence and don’t fear retaliation nor accountability. Why? Because they know that they have most people fooled. Or, maybe others are too scared to address the behavior and confront them.

As mentioned earlier, physical bullies with narcissism have no qualms about asserting their dominance over others.

Bullying and narcissism:

Physical bullies with nPD have a low threshold for frustration.

They feel their entitlement is supreme to your basic rights. Therefore, they confidently encroach on your time, your space, and your safety.

These bullies have a low threshold for frustration and will make you pay dearly for causing it. And where most people would feel guilt and shame over hurting someone, these bullies only feel powerful and victorious.

Sadly, there’s not much you can do to help these types of people. Most people with narcissism are resistant to any help or change.

Moreover, people who are physically violent and have narcissism usually end up in prison for battery or murder.

Unless you’re a black belt, there’s also not much you can do to protect yourself from these people. Why? Because the more you defend yourself, the more they’ll come back until they wear you down, maim you, or worse, kill you.

Therefore, if you are a target of these types, the only way you can ensure your safety is to go no contact. And, if that doesn’t work, you’d best either relocate, transfer schools, or find another job.

So, what are the 7 secret powers of narcopathic bullies?

1. They’re Skilled at Baiting you.

Bullies with narcissism are skilled at baiting you into an altercation. They may do it by saying something to trigger you or hauling off and hitting you first to get you to hit them back.

Why do they do this? So that they can play the victim and make you look like the instigator. And, trust me! They’re good at it. So, beware!

2. Bullying and Narcissism:

They’re Masters at Playing the Victim.

Again, they’ll provoke you when no one is looking, then play the victim when you respond in kind. Therefore, you must learn how they operate and be willing to call them out calming and confidently. The last thing you want to do is over-react by screaming and yelling.

That will only make it easier for them to paint you as mentally imbalanced or bully and make you take the blame for their behavior.

3. They Prefer indirect bullying.

The reasons bullies with narcissism prefer indirect bullying is because it’s much harder to detect. Therefore, the best thing to do is to never over-react. Also, never go into dramatics. You must handle these types of people calmly and coolly. Why?

Because, the last thing you want is give a narco-bully any ammunition that they can use against you. So, handle this situation with care.

4. They’re highly skilled at projecting their faults onto you.

In other words, they’ll accuse you of doing the same disgusting shit that they themselves do. Therefore, keep sight of your goodness and see this for what it is. Projection! Just the knowledge of this technique will buffer your self-esteem immensely!

5. Bullying and Narcissism:

They’re experts at distraction.

“Don’t look over here! Look over there!” In other words, these people will take your mistakes and use them to distract others’ attention away from their own flaws.

Therefore, once you see this tactic in it’s true form, you’re mental health won’t take such a big hit and you’ll be able to call it out confidently.

6. They’re geniuses at gaslighting.

Bullies with NPD will gaslight you to make you doubt your own perception of what happened. Therefore, don’t fall for this. You know what happened and you know what they did. So find good comebacks to respond to their gaslighting. And shut them down.

7. They’re Masters at charm and persuasion.

People with narcissistic personality disorder know how to pour on the charm. However, realize that the charm and niceness they so masterfully display is a facade. Moreover, it’s designed to not only gain them supply, but also flying monkeys to use against people who threaten them.

Therefore, again, see this for what it is and what it’s designed to do and you’ll be more likely to overcoming their abuse.

This post was about bullying and narcissism so that you can prepare yourself by knowing what to expect.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How Bullies Gain Power: 9 Astonishing Ways They Do It.

2. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

3. A Bully’s Perspective: What Your Bullies Want to Say to You 

4. What is a Crybully and How Do You Spot One?

5. Gaslighting Examples: 11 Notable Tactics Gaslighters Use

why people bully others

Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

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‘Want to know why people bully and the benefits bullies reap at your expense? Here are the things your bullies feel they have to gain from bullying you so that you can call it out and bust them.

why people bully

If you’re a victim of bullying, you probably wonder what it is your bullies have to gain from bullying you. Therefore, here are the exact benefits your bullies get at your expense and what you can do to protect yourself.

In this post, you will learn why people bully and exactly what it is that motivates them.

Once you learn all about the psychological payoffs of bullying, you will be able to more clearly call out their behavior so that you will have a better chance of defending yourself.

This post gives you all the reasons why people bully so that you can know what motivates your bullies and call it out by name.

Why People Bully

Someone came to me with a burning question that I used to ask all the time. I am certain that millions of people worldwide have asked the same question, “Why do People Bully?”

There are many answers, and they all depend on the individual bully. Therefore, before we get into the reasons for bullying and the benefits bullies look for, let’s discuss three different types of bullies.

1. Spoiled, Coddled bullies with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

These kinds of bullies bully because they are arrogant and overconfident. They truly believe that they are superior to you and better you and anyone else.

Therefore, they’ll stop at nothing to let you know who’s boss. You must understand that these creeps are self-entitled, self-serving, and have no empathy.

With these types, the ends always justify the means. They do everything possible to keep the spotlight on themselves and hog all the attention. Moreover, they consider themselves highly privileged.

Also, they’re jealous of anyone who outshines or outdoes them in any way. Why? Because they believe that any happiness, successes, accolades, and victories should be reserved for only them.

Therefore, if you have a talent that brings you recognition, look out! Because these bullies will punish you for it. And they will pull out all the stops to crush your self-esteem and kill your confidence to bring you down.

You’ll often find these people in the popular and preppy crowd at school. Also, they’ll be in the “Good Ole Boy” clique at work. Moreover, these bullies will often be jocks, cheerleaders, and sorority/fraternity nuts at school. They may also work in management or be one of the suck-ups at work.

2. Why People Bully:

Hurting and Victimized Bullies (Bully-Victims)

These bullies bully because they are being bullied themselves. The abuse could be happening either in the home, at school, in the workplace, or all three.

These aggressors feel powerless. Therefore, to reclaim some of the power that has been stripped away from them, they bully those even weaker than they are.

Bully-victims have a strong need to feel like they have control over something in their lives.

Here’s an example:

A child is yelled at by his parents, then he gets mad, goes outside, and kicks the dog. This is why I call this type of bullying, “Kicking the Dog.”

Moreover, no one wants to be at the bottom of the pecking order. As the age-old saying goes, “Shit rolls downhill and lands at the bottom.”

So, to stay off the bottom, these types will often find someone else to bully, so they don’t feel like they’re the ones stuck in the basement.

Just as people fight to stay on top of the social hierarchy, there are also those who fight just as hard to stay off the bottom. Hence, the reason victims of bullying often become bullies themselves.

3. Why People Bully:

Bullies who Are Followers, Drones, and Wannabes

These bullies are to be pitied because they are quite pathetic when you really think of it. This is because they will suck up to the in-crowd (the narc bullies).

Therefore, they do this by either bullying those lower on the social totem pole. Or, they’ll simply join the popular bullies in tormenting you.

Figuratively, when a person from the in-crowd tells them to jump. These wannabes will ask, “How high?” Moreover,  these people often become followers, minions, groupies, and flying monkeys.

They’ll do the dirty work of the bullies with narcissistic personality disorder. In other words, they’ll serve as their yes-men.

However, understand that these people are only kiss-butts and brown-noses. They’re only bully you hoping for acceptance into the popular crowd.  Also, they do it because they’re afraid of becoming the next target.

Different people bully for different reasons. When we can distinguish the reasons each bully bullies we can better prepare and protect ourselves.

Why people Bully:

What are the benefits Bullies gain at your expense?

Understand that the laws of human nature dictate that no one does anything without some sort of psychological payoff. Therefore, bullies reap several benefits at your expense if you’re a target. Here is a list of those benefits:

1. A sense of power

Simply put, bullies bully for power, control, and domination. Therefore, anytime a bully takes you down, they get a tremendous rush of power. They also become addicted to that rush.

This is why bullies never bully once. They always come back for more. It’s no different from having a drug addiction. The evil actions, cruelty, and power become a drug in and of themselves.

Also, as with any drug, the same tactics and frequency of bullying lose their potency after a while. Therefore, the bullies must escalate the torment to keep getting the rush they crave.

For example, when name-calling and verbally abusing you lose their thrill, your bullies will grow bored with it. Therefore, your bullies will often escalate the abuse.

They’ll resort to either cruel pranks, humiliation, or physical assault and battery to keep getting the rush they look for. It’s the same as when a junkie builds a drug tolerance and begins taking higher doses.

2. Why People Bully:

Popularity

Bullies bully because, sadly, many people think it’s cool or cute. Therefore, they see it as a means for increased social status.

‘You see? Bullying gives the bully lots of attention and visibility. Bullying isn’t only a way for bullies to exert power but it gains them the popularity they crave.

 And sadly, it works like a charm. The reason it works so well is that the bullies’ social status is increased, while yours is reduced.

Moreover,  having the respect and admiration of their peers is of more value to some people’s sense of self-worth than money and material wealth.

Although one can achieve elevated social status through wealth and material things, it can also be attainable though bullying if your bullies are dead broke.

On the other hand, if the bully does have money and material wealth, the social status he gets from bullying is just icing on the cake. In other words, it’s not something he feels he must do. It’s something he wants to do because he thinks it’s fun.

3. To Compensate for a shortcoming

We’ll use a lack of money and material wealth, for example.

Most bullies don’t have a lot of money. And these are the types who achieve social status through exploitation of your mistakes, flaws, and shortcomings.

Bullying is not a healthy way to achieve social status. Therefore, a healthy way of increasing one’s social ranking requires some type of achievement.

The achievement could be joining a positive movement or donating to a charity. However, one tiny mistake can instantly tarnish one’s reputation and all the good they’ve done.

The world is, sadly, quick to blame a person for any negative qualities or actions while slow to forgive or to give credit for good deeds. Moreover, bullies instinctively know this and take full advantage of it.

However, the only way that broke bullies can excel up the social hierarchy is by demeaning others. And they do it by taking the tiniest mistake you make, adding to it, and blowing it up to decrease your social ranking.

4. Why People Bully:

Superiority

Bullying gives the bully an appearance of strength. Moreover, it sends a message to you and others that he’s a badass, and that they’d be a fool to mess with him. The bully also gives the appearance that he’s top dog.

Therefore, your bullies will torture you to keep up that facade.

5. Attention and Sympathy

Many people do it to distract others’ attention away from their own behavior. Therefore, if the bully can make you look the devil reincarnate, people won’t pay so much attention to her evil deeds.

For example, if she picks a fight with you and you stand up to her, she can make you look like the villain. Afterwards, she gets to enjoy the attention and bask in the sympathy others give her.

6. Distraction from their own shortcomings

Bullies are experts at making you look weak and pathetic. If the bully can distract everyone else’s attention to your weaknesses, he can keep the spotlight off his own defects.

Why? Because if people expect to see trouble coming from a specific place, that’s where they’re going to look.

7. Why People Bully:

Projection of their own flaws onto someone else

Bullies have a flare for accusing you of the same deplorable shit that they do themselves. Therefore, if your bullies can make you look like the troublemaker, then they can go unpunished.

 Moreover, they can continue to attack you freely and with impunity. Again, this also takes the focus off their own misdeeds.

8. The satisfaction and gratification of seeing you suffer

Your bullies love to see you suffer. For them, your misery is entertainment and gives them a rush of power. In other words, just knowing that they can determine how you feel and how your day goes gives them a feeling of dominance.

Therefore, don’t give them the satisfaction. Be a waste of time and energy to them. The way to do this is to see your bullies for the weak wusses they really are.

Realize that bullies bully because they’re great big cowards. They have no persuasion skills. In fact, they have no redeemable qualities. Therefore,  the only way they cam be effective is to bully their way through life.

Keep this in the back of your mind.

9. To tighten the bonds in their group

By tormenting you, bullies garner support from others who are just like them and who share the same values. After all, bullying is most effective in group situations, where people unite to serve a certain objective.

Therefore, know that bullies never work alone. They always have people backing them.

Group bullying gives talentless bullies a sense of belonging. Also, it tightens the bonds among members of the group.

Furthermore, this collective bullying also makes them more successful in bringing you down than if the bullies worked alone.

Another advantage to group bullying is the mob mentality it produces. It’s a dark part of human nature that people conform and imitate the behaviors of other members of the group. Therefore, in groups, bullies have more power and can make a much bigger impact.

Bullies Never Work Alone, They’re Too Cowardly

10. Why people Bully:

They Can’t Achieve Social Power any other way.

Understand that people who bully others to achieve social gain can never achieve it any other way.

These types of people are the talentless, the lazy, and the incompetent. Moreover, they have no redeemable qualities, no personalities, and no real intelligence.

You must see these bullies exactly as they are – empty suits with zero substance. And, once you see them clearly, your confidence won’t take such a big hit when they come for you.

11. They See Bullying As An Aphrodisiac

That’s what bullying is to bullies, an aphrodisiac. In other words, it’s the only way these people can feel good. Again, hurting you is like a drug to them. It’s highly addictive because it gives them a massive rush of power.

You must understand that targeting others for bullying is how they find meaning in their lives. And the only excitement they can add to their meaningless lives is through mistreating you.

In short, bullies bully because they enjoy it.

People crave power, fame, notoriety, and influence- even the best of them. But most can get those through love, through their hobbies, jobs, talent, and creativity.

On the other hand, bullies don’t have these things going for them. Some might have jobs but aren’t satisfied in their positions. So, they abuse people instead.

And once you’re no longer available to them because you either quit or move away, the aphrodisiac isn’t there anymore. So, what will they do?

They’ll search for a new victim to get their next fix.  Moreover, they may even turn on one of their friends if they can’t find a target outside their peer group.

Why People Bully:

It’s Not You, It’s Them!

If you’re a target of bullies. You are not the one with the issues.

Your bullies are the ones who have the problems. They are the ones who are mentally unbalanced. Therefore, they are the ones who belong in mental institutions.

However, they only hide it behind their undermining and degrading of you and others. Realize that they’re only projecting their problems onto you.

Your bullies are using you as a distraction. And they have to work hard at it, which doesn’t make for a good life.

Always remember that, and their insults and stupidity won’t bother you as much. I promise you!

This post was about the reasons why people bully and where their abuse comes from so that you can know what bullies are really about and have more confidence in yourself when they come for you.

1. Why is Self Acceptance Important? 21 Must-Know Reasons

2. What is a Crybully and How Do You Spot One?

3. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

4. School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids!

5. How to Disarm a Bully: 13 Clever Comebacks that Work Wonders

All About Bully Privilege

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In most cases, bullies have the benefit of followers and bystanders covering for them when they terrorize and brutalize their targets. Targets, on the other hand, get no leniency whatsoever, so, they must make extra efforts to keep their hands clean because, unlike the bullies, they can’t afford to break any rules. IF targets dare to engage in the same behaviors the bullies do, they’d quickly be fired, expelled, prosecuted, or worse, killed.

What targets are severely punished for bullies get away with. You see it all the time- in the schools, workplaces, and communities. For a target of bullying, there’s no margin for error. Targets don’t have the benefit of a cheering section. And if bullies can’t find anything to hold against the target, they’ll make something up.

Understand that bullies and their enablers don’t play by the same rules. When bullies engage in bad behavior, people are silent, and the bullies are exempt from accountability. While bullies get a pass for the worst behaviors, targets are persecuted for perceived or made up slights or normal human errors that anyone could make.

Realize that this is a clear-cut example of “bully privilege” and it’s real. It’s been around since the beginning of time.

During the Medieval Period, kings had scapegoats who were blamed for mistakes and wrongdoing- scapegoats, who were executed. If targets expect to defend themselves properly, they must stop being so shocked about it and realize that such things exist.

Targets must prepare and stop being blindsided because it will only throw them off balance and hinder their ability to think properly.

Realize that we live in a fallen world and one that isn’t just. Also, understand that nothing is impossible and that we should expect the unexpected.

Only then will you be able to come up with a strategy and protect yourself more effectively.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Triumphing Over Workplace Bullying (Part 4)

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(Continued from Part 3…)

I remember a night when one of the flying monkeys, Shelly, a CNA, approached me in the hall, from behind and began screaming, cursing, and threatening to jump me over a rumor that had it that I was stabbing her in the back.

She threatened to attack me there on the spot physically, and there were bystanders!
When I turned around, faced her, and called her out for being unprofessional, Shelly became twice as angry.

Later, I was afraid that I might face termination because Shelly had escalated the confrontation to an unprecedented level. Also, I’d seen so many others whom these people had pulled the same tactic on getting fired left and right!

I remember thinking,

“Well, if I do get canned, they won’t be able to say they didn’t have to work hard at achieving that goal! At the very least, I’ll leave here knowing I put up one hell of a fight!”

One of the bystanders was Deb, the charge nurse, and Shelly’s supervisor and buddy. Therefore, I knew that Deb would sweep Shelly’s behavior under the rug and paint me as the instigator.

Sure enough, she did. These people had a way of turning everything around to fit their narrative and getting others to agree with it.

The other guy was always to blame.
It was always the other guy’s fault.
It was never their fault, and they were never wrong.

They reported the incident to Darnell and suggested that he terminate me right then and there. When he talked to me about it, I calmly explained that Shelly had approached me from behind in a very threatening manner, that I feared for my physical safety, and didn’t know what she would do had I not faced her down.

And by this time, I’d worked under Darnell long enough that he knew the kind of person I was and that I was only taking care of myself.

So, again, Darnell went to bat for me. Also, I had made an awesome friend out of Jane, who was another charge nurse at the nursing home. She, too, went to bat for me as did several of my coworkers.

Each time nothing happened to me, the bullies only became angrier and crazier, until they were all out for blood!

It was then that I starting noticing Jules hovering around in the hall just outside the door to the laundry room. Later, I’d see him milling around nearby anytime I’d stop in the hallway to greet and talk to friends. And I’ve got to tell you! He gave me such a creepy vibe!

Next, I began seeing him standing across the street from my apartment, smoking a cigarette. And I could tell he was watching my apartment. Now that freaked me out!

I found out that he and the neighbor across the street had begun dating and that he was there to see her. She didn’t allow smoking in her house, so he had no choice but to smoke outside. Still, I didn’t feel any better. I felt as if I was being stalked!

I knew why he was hanging around so close. Jules was an eavesdropper for Cammie and her group, listening in on our convos in the laundry room and my discussions with friends in the hallway. Everybody knew it because he’d eavesdropped on many others.

My instinct also told me they’d enlisted him to watch my house. He was watching to see what company I had over- looking for any information with which to report back to Cammie.

The fact that Jules’ girlfriend lived across the street from me was a convenient cover for him and they knew it. Although I knew what was going on, I didn’t speak of it because I knew I couldn’t without sounding completely nuts. I did the best thing by keeping it to myself but filing it in the back of my mind. The only people I told were my closest family and they knew I wasn’t kidding.

Luckily, his girlfriend was a good friend of mine and I knew she only kept him around because she was lonely. So, I used it to my advantage, and cozied up to her a little bit more so she would volunteer to tell me little tidbits about what he was doing. Sure enough, she confirmed my suspicions.

Not much later, Darnell, having himself become a target of the vitriol that inflected the workplace, announced to us that he had put in his two-week notice of resignation and was moving on to a better job and a better work environment.

Although we were happy that he’d finally found something better and was getting out of that hellhole, we were also deeply saddened because we’d miss him so much. We saw Darnell as our fearless leader, our Captain Ahab, and our hero!

What kind of leader would the new supervisor be? And would they protect us from those devils down the hall as Darnell had?

Choosing not to leave anything to chance, I decided that I’d put in my notice as well. Being the type of woman who would always think ahead, I knew that once Darnell was gone, I’d be totally at their mercy. I had a sickening feeling that the next supervisor would toady up to the bullies in the upper echelons of management and the social order.

Strict Boss: Angry upset young business woman with blank speech bubble on white on gray background. Vector illustration.

I knew that Cammie had long waited, with bated breath, for the day when Darnell would either quit or get fired. Then, she could begin working on the new supervisor, ingratiate herself in them, and turn them against us.

Sure enough, my closest coworker told me she’d overheard Cammie saying precisely that, and she was recommending that the new supervisor terminate three of us. Knowing I was one of the three, I quickly filled out my two weeks notice of resignation and gave it to Darnell.

Darnell introduced us to the new supervisor. She was a short, dumpy woman in her forties and by her facial expression, which was hard and cold, I made the conclusion that putting in my notice was the smartest thing to do and gave myself a pat on the back.

Spy Snooping Spiders Spies Covert Intelligence 3d Illustration

Off and on during the last two weeks, I’d catch those tiny micro flashes of suspicion and contempt the new supervisor would flash toward me and a few others. And the bullies were completely enraged once word of my pending exit reached their ears. But once I was out of there, I breathed a sigh of relief.

I was quite proud of myself for having escaped that toxic place and walked away from the job with confidence and my self-esteem still intact.

But the best and juiciest part is yet to be told!

(Continued in Part 5…)

How “Good People” Become Willing Participants in Bullying

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Even the best and kindest of people can help bullies to destroy a target. Oh yes! It’s true!

Many times, good people are either scared or duped into joining bullies in destroying targets. Understand that your bullies have either intimidated or lied to these people until they finally succeeded in turning them all against you.

What’s worse? These people really and truly do not believe they’re bullying you. They don’t see it as meanness and an attempt to cause another human being to suffer intense pain. People who willingly join with bullies and take part in torturing and tormenting another person do not think that what they’re doing is evil and sadistic. No.

What these people believe is that what they’re doing is good and morally right. Remember that you’ve been labeled immoral. Bullies have painted you as an evil adversary who needs to be punished.

Although the reality is that you’re totally innocent and wrongly persecuted, perceptions (opinions and attitudes) are everything, and bullies can easily distort others’ perceptions to fall in line with their narratives. And sadly, everything in life is based on appearances, and no one cares about what’s behind them.

Understand that, one by one, the “good” people will be sucked into the bullies’ smoke screens. And, one by one, they’ll join forces with the bullies in defeating “the evil enemy.”

These good people will gradually distance themselves from you. Then, little by little, they’ll join in the gossip and defamation of your character.

Again, these bystanders and witnesses don’t see what they’re doing as bullying. They genuinely believe that what they’re doing is a good thing- they’re only doing it for the greater good- the good of the school, alumni, and staff. They’re doing it for the sake of the company and people in it. They’re only showing loyalty and trustworthiness to the group. They’re heroes.

I want you to realize that this is how good people do bad things to innocent people. When this happens, the fact that you’re innocent and undeserving of the abuse and brutality just doesn’t come into it.

Also, understand that there are benefits that come with siding with a group against “the enemy” and few people will forgo those benefits.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

4 Surefire Signs Someone’s Having Their Strings Pulled

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In most cases of bullying, many targets suffer at the request of a ringleader. They may have friends and allies at first but slowly, one by one, these supporters disappear until there aren’t any left. Do you know why? It’s because the bullies have gotten to these allies and either threatened them for having something to do with the target or offered generous incentives to turn against the target.

Anytime there’s bullying, people outside the bully/target relationship will be influenced and persuaded by the bullies. Many people will instantly conform to the bullies’ way and I discussed why in the post entitled, “10 Reasons Why People Make Excuses for Bullies,” just a couple of days ago. But how do we know when someone has been influenced by bullies? How do we know when our friends have been compromised? Believe it or not, it’s easy to tell when someone is being told what to say, what not to say, and what to and not to do.

Here’s how:

1. They will be wishy-washy and flip-flop back and forth. This person will say whatever they’re told to say and that often means they must flip-flop. They say one thing, then later, say the opposite. They say whatever they think will benefit them, or what they believe will keep them out of trouble.

2. They say anything they think people want to hear. You can easily pick these people out if you listen and observe them around different types of people. Understand that folks in this category are puppets!


3. They go with the prevailing belief or narrative. If the prevailing belief or narrative (started by the bullies) is that the target is evil, crazy, a criminal, a whore, take your pick, that’s what the puppets around them will believe. And they won’t dare ask questions. They won’t care if proof to the contrary is available. They’ll only go along with whatever the word of the day is.

And understand that narratives are very flexible. They change like the weather. If you’re a target of bullying, one day you may be deemed crazy or stupid, the next day, you might be a cunning and shady con artist, and a week from now they’ll deem you an ax-murderer. You get the point.

4. They’re social chameleons. They speak and act one way around this group of people, then the exact opposite around another group of people.

Understand that these are people who can’t think for themselves. They flex and bend to anything others tell them. They’re sheep who are easily lead and persuaded.

Such people have no real personality, no backbone, and no beliefs and convictions of their own. When it comes down to it, they’re really quite pathetic and those who are true, real, and authentic (like the target), have no respect for them.

If you’re a target of bullying and you have friends who seem to turn on and off, hot and cold, because of things they hear about you and they don’t even bother to get the facts, you might want to shit-can these wimps and find better friends. Ditch and switch, baby!