Bullying and trauma go hand in hand. ‘Want to know how bullying causes trauma? Here is a list of trauma symptoms that bullying causes that you must know about.

You don’t have to be a combat soldier or veteran to have PTSD. Victims and survivors of rape and incest can develop it. Targets and survivors of severe bullying and abuse can also have it.

In this post, you will learn all about bullying and trauma. You will also learn about the symptoms of trauma that are caused by bullying.

Once you learn about these informative topics, you will be better equipped to recognize trauma and seek the help you need.

This post is all about bullying and trauma, so that you can recognize it in yourself and a bullied loved one and know when to get help.

Bullying and Trauma

Although many people survive and, better yet, overcome whatever or whoever tried to harm them, it still leaves scars on their psyches. Therefore, your ability to regulate emotions is deeply affected, as is your ability to find stability, happiness, joy, love, and intimacy.

I know this from firsthand experience.

If you’re anything like I was back in the 1990s, during my twenties, all it takes is for someone to stare or look at you the wrong way. Then, you’ll ask them very belligerently what their major malfunction is.

Moreover, if someone gets in your face, approaches you in a threatening manner, or does anything to provoke you, you’ll do one of two things:

You’ll get away from the person, or you’ll do what I did: put up your fists and dare them to try something.

So, what are the bullying and trauma symptoms?

1. Hyper-Vigilance

When you’re hyper-vigilant, you constantly stay on guard for whatever it is that threatened you in the past. Therefore, if you were a victim of bullying, you should consistently watch out for bullies. Also, you’re determined that no one will ever bully you again.

Constantly having to watch your back can get exhausting. Therefore, find a therapist. If you can’t find one, talk to a trusted friend or family member. If that isn’t possible, write it down in a journal or diary.

The point is to get it out and begin healing, because you can’t live this way for the rest of your life.

2. You’re constantly ready to fight.

This goes along with hyper-vigilance.

For example, you’re 23 years old and five years out of high school. You’re standing in the checkout line at the supermarket.

While having your groceries rung up by the clerk, the woman behind you is cursing and shouting at you to “hurry up.” Moreover, she’s a woman you’ve been at odds with for a while now.

When you hand the cashier your cash to pay for the groceries, the woman points her finger right in your face. Consequently, your automatic response is to grab her by the back of her head and slam her face against the checkout counter.

Understand that this is a knee-jerk reaction. However, knee-jerk responses get people into trouble.

Therefore, the best thing to do is to tell them off in as few words as possible. Then, walk away. In other words, never stay silent; instead, get your point across using concise language, then move on. There’s no need to get physical.

This is a better alternative when someone is running their mouth. However, if they put a finger in your face, no law says you can’t grab their finger and shove it away.

And if the person tries to hit you, then it’s time to throw up those dukes and defend yourself.

There’s nothing wrong with self-defense. It’s how we set boundaries. It’s how we teach people to respect our personal space and keep their hands to themselves.

3. Bullying and trauma:

you have Trust issues.

Targets want to trust, relax, and feel comfortable in social situations. Only they don’t know who to trust. Therefore, it’s much safer not to trust anyone- safer to put up walls and keep the rest of the world out.

Survivors have built invisible fortresses around themselves for protection. The problem with this is that these protective fortresses can become prisons and sometimes tombs!

This is what trauma does.

Here’s why this happens:

• You’ve been an outcast for so long that you don’t trust invitations to events. Even worse, you don’t trust people enough to talk to them.
• People have mistreated you for so long that you’ve lost faith in humanity.
• Bullies and their followers have, in the past, baited you into trusting them somehow, only to pull some cruel joke on you. Therefore, you no longer risk being fooled again.

Understand that you need a human connection. And trust issues are a factor that reinforces isolation. It’s a terrible existence and can sometimes create a temptation for suicide.

Therefore, you must force yourself to get out of the house. Visit a family member or go to a museum if you must.

Moreover, if a loved one is struggling, speak to them lovingly. Do some investigating and find out why.

4. Bullying and Trauma:

You Fear Conflict.

Conflict is a part of life and something we all face at some point. However, many victims and survivors of bullying are afraid of conflict.

Why? Because bullies have forced so much of it on them in the past that they can no longer bear the thought of another confrontation.

Moreover, they haven’t dealt with the hurts. And they don’t know their worth. Many targets and survivors of bullying have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Therefore, they remain stuck in a state of survival mode.

As a result, they cave in and give others what they want to keep from pissing them off. The unspoken message is, “Look! Just take what you want and get lost!”

However, this can become a problem. If you go out of your way to avoid conflict, people will soon mistake you for being weak, and they’ll walk all over you. Therefore, you must set boundaries.

Realize that the time will come when you must say no. There are even times when you may have to show your ugly side to get your point across, that no means no, and enough is enough.

Understand that this requires guts. It means you must step out of your comfort zone and take risks.

You must risk hurting others’ feelings and making people angry. You must risk being lashed out at and retaliated against. Moreover, you must also risk losing relationships, and none of it feels good.

Never run from conflict. Because if you do, you’ll end up running from it for the rest of your life!

5. Bullying and Trauma:

You have stunted social development.

Although social intelligence won’t necessarily keep you from becoming a target of bullying, it will most certainly lessen your chances of it.

Social intelligence has always and will always supersede book smarts. It will get you much further than college degrees, awards, and credentials alone. High school dropouts have become millionaires, while many college graduates have ended up working at McDonald’s.

This occurs primarily due to the level of social intelligence.

Social intelligence is THE most important quality you can have. It’s the highest-paid skill and most important asset in the entire universe.

For many years, people thought that it was a skill that no one could teach. The prevailing school of thought was that one was either born with it or not.

And if you weren’t, it was something that you had to accept and deal with. Thankfully, we now know differently.

This is why it’s so crucial that you make a conscious effort to save your self-esteem. You achieve this by keeping your heart open, meeting new people, and forming new friendships.

 In other words, create positive interactions and experiences that are separate from the bullying environment.  Social opportunities multiply exponentially once you’re away from your bullies or anyone else who knows you from the bullying environment.

This is how you maintain your self-esteem and continue to develop your social intelligence.

6. Bullying and Trauma:

You’re painfully shy.

Many targets of bullying, after people bully them so severely for so long, become painfully shy.

When others scrutinize everything you say down to the tiniest detail, it’s easy for you to withdraw. As a result, you shut out the rest of humanity and hide in plain sight.

Moreover, you do this because you think it’s the safest thing to do. However, it’s a terrible way to live. Shyness is like a prison without walls.

Why? Because it stops you from being your true, authentic self, and you end up missing out on so much. Shyness keeps you from having fun and enjoying life.

Therefore, be brave and continue to put yourself out there. Again, establish good connections outside the place where people bully you. I guarantee that this is a great start.

7. You have Social Anxiety.

After being bullied for so long, victims can develop social anxiety. In other words, they withdraw from people because they fear future attacks.

This happens when your spirit has been beaten down and broken. You’ve been abused to the point of losing faith in humanity. Also, nefarious people have programmed you to believe that you aren’t worthy of love and friendship.

Therefore, you’re under the presumption that it’s much safer not to engage in any social interaction.

Bullying and trauma:

Covert Signs of social anxiety

Social anxiety can also be more covert, showing itself in less obvious ways:

• Excessive laughing and giggling
• Over-apologizing
• Appearing normal on the outside but nervous and shaky on the inside
• Excessive humor and being overly funny or having no sense of humor at all
• Excessive sarcasm/having a smart-alecky attitude
• Being overly friendly/too nice
• Shutting down/freezing up- unable to talk or move
• Meanness/rudeness
• Fidgeting/can’t sit still
• Lack of or too much eye contact
• Poor posture/looking down all the time
• Having a hard time keeping up with a conversation
• Talking too loudly, too fast, too soft, too slow, or not at all
• Indifference
• Excessive use of foul language
• Promiscuity/raciness
• Wearing attire that is provocative or super-revealing
• A style that is “perceived” as separatist or out of the ordinary (goth, punk-rock, etc.)

Fortunately, survivors of bullying can overcome the trauma by learning to love themselves again and studying tips on how to raise their confidence levels. Although bullying can be traumatic, you can learn many life lessons from it that can help you grow.

This post was all about bullying and trauma so that you can take steps to lessen the aftereffects.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Adult Survivors of School Bullying: 19 Things They Do Differently 

2. Life Lessons from Bullying: 16 Powerful Takeaways to Remember