Tag: bullying

unwanted, aggressive behavior among school-aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.

popularity and bullying in school

Popularity and Bullying

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‘Want to know how popularity and bullying can go hand in hand. Here is all the information you need to know.

popularity and bullying

In this post, you will learn about popularity and bullying so that you can call it out and protect yourself from it.

Once you learn all the ins and outs of this kind of bullying, you will be able to recognize it, call it out, predict your bullies’ behavior, and defend yourself.

This post is all about popularity and bullying, so that you can recognize how they connect and protect yourself from popular bullies.

Popularity and bullying

Most popular people like to bully others. It’s just what they do. Here’s why they do it and what you can do to protect yourself.

Bullying for Increased Social Status

Bullies not only use bullying to control you. They also use it as a vehicle to achieve a higher social status.

And sadly, it works like a charm. The reason it works so well is that, when someone bullies you, their social status rises, while yours falls. They benefit at your expense.

For many, having their peers admire them is the end-all be-all. It adds more value to their sense of self-worth than money and material wealth.

One can achieve an elevated social status through wealth and material possessions. However, they can attain it through bullying if the bully lacks financial means.

On the other hand, if the bully does have material wealth, the social status he gets from bullying is just icing on the cake.

It’s not something he feels he must do to raise his status. It’s something he wants to do because he thinks it’s fun.

Popularity and Bullying:

Why DO popular people bully?

1. Because they have social capital.

It’s because they have the social capital to protect them from wrongdoing. Bullies with social capital are the most destructive

These are the bullies who enjoy the most social connections and friends in high places. A vast majority of people either think well of them or fear them.

This includes classmates at school and coworkers at work. They can also be those in the neighborhood or community.

Bullies can be the “cool kids” at school, the “Good Old Boys” clique at work, or the dominant group in town. These bullies can also include local politicians, businessmen, or members of prominent families in a particular area.

Their popularity is their weapon.

It doesn’t matter how much money you have, it’s how much power you have.

Although money does help, these folks don’t necessarily have to be rich to have these connections. I’ve known many who were quite poor and had a lot of power. Why? Because of the relationships they maintained with influential people.

What gives them the power they have is their connections with the right people. This is why bullies in these select groups are particularly dangerous and can cause you the most harm.

These types of bullies proactively build a network of social relationships. Moreover, they do this to reinforce their power and get protection from any accountability for wrongdoing.

In many cases, they already have well-established ties that date back several years. I can’t stress this enough. So, I’ll repeat it.

Those who are popular do not have to be rich. In fact, most of them aren’t. I’ve met many people who were poor but popular, and wealthy individuals who weren’t.

Money does not equal popularity.

Popularity and Bullying:

Bullies with social connections.

Bullies build connections that benefit them with protection and keep them above reproach. Moreover, these connections give them carte blanche to ride roughshod over anyone freely and with impunity.

They may perpetuate a culture of bullying.

These are the types who will watch their enemies closely. They know they have good name recognition. Therefore, they take advantage of it.

Whenever a bully has a significant amount of social capital, others are less likely to risk pissing them off. Why? Because they may become the next target.

And chances are that if they target you, their groupies and flying monkeys will only follow their lead.

Bullies with power have many wannabes who surround them. These groupies will bully you simply because it’s what the bigger bullies expect of them.

This is why the most popular and well-connected bullies get away with deplorable behavior. Heck! They can do anything they want to anyone.

Therefore, if you become a target of one of them, they will use their influence and connections to destroy every aspect of your life. And they’ll never stop coming after you.

Popular bullies are very influential, persuasive, and, most of all, convincing.

It’s how they were able to achieve their popularity in the first place.

Their names alone carry significant weight behind them. They possess trust, mutual understanding, and shared values and behaviors that promote unity and strengthen their group.

When one of these bullies says something, others, even those outside their circle, listen.  And they take their word as fact!

Popularity and Bullying:

Sacred Cows.

I call these people “sacred cows”. Why?  Because they are the most popular. They have the most power and influence in a school, corporation, or community. They have so much of it that others don’t dare question or speak against them, even if they’re wrong.

In fact, they may get rewarded for their behavior.

Therefore, with sacred cows, people may not necessarily like them. They may even hate them but, you can be sure that they fear them.

So, even haters are careful not to speak against them publicly or within earshot of the wrong people.

If you’re a target of bullies who have social capital, know that they can make your life hell. They can tarnish your name with smear campaigns.

And others will believe it simply because of who the rumors and lies come from. They can also cause the loss of your job and block you from finding new employment. As a result, these bullies can rob you of your ability to make a living.

Popularity can be a powerful weapon!

These bullies can destroy your ability to make new friends because others will be too afraid to associate with you. In other words, you become radioactive!

When bullies are popular and well-liked, no one wants to do anything that might upset them. Therefore, they play it safe and avoid you like a bad disease.

If you own a business, bullies with popularity can discourage customers from patronizing it. They can also have their worker bees set fire to it and burn it down.

And don’t put it past them to trump up false charges against you. They may set you up to be arrested.

For example, if they know a few crooked law enforcement officers, they may have them pull you over on the way home from work.

And these bad cops may plant drugs in your car to have an excuse to throw you in the slammer. If that doesn’t work, they may send henchmen to visit you or meet you on the street somewhere.

Popularity and Bullying:

These bullies are the biggest crooks because they’re popular.

Your self-esteem can also take a harder hit because of these bullies’ popularity. And you’re likely to be paralyzed with fear, especially if you’re a kid in school.

Here are a few things you can do to insulate yourself from popular bullies.

Remember that even the most popular bullies have enemies. And some of those enemies may be just as powerful. Also, bear in mind that you aren’t the only person these creeps have bullied.

There were others before you, and there will be others after you. Bullies with popularity love to throw their weight around. And if they can’t do it with you, they’ll find someone else to buffalo.

Build your own social capital.

Find out who else these brutes have tormented. Then, befriend and align yourself with them..

If you can find those who were once a part of the bullies’ circle but were ousted, that’s even better! These former friends likely have private and sensitive information about each of the bullies.

Moreover, they probably know some damaging info about their sycophants as well. These individuals will likely be seeking some form of retribution.

Therefore, they’ll be only too happy to give you all the juicy details!

Establish tight connections with your fellow victims. Cozy up to anyone the bullies have double-crossed. Band together with them. Why? Because nothing unites people like the shared anger and hatred toward an enemy.

Popularity and Bullying:

Establish connections with your bullies’ enemies.

Pal around with them. Eat out with them. Be sure you’re seen with as many of these victims as possible. This will provide you with a little protection!

The more targets and outcasts you connect and bond with, the better! And always have their backs and make sure they have yours!

Also, make friends, take jobs, and seize opportunities that are outside the bullies’ element. If necessary and all else fails, consider moving to a new area.

Tell no one of your plans or where you’re moving to. Sometimes, it’s just best to vanish!

Do these things, and you’ll be much safer!

This post is all about popularity and bullying, so that you know what to expect from popular bullies and ways to protect yourself from them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why People Reward Bullies

2. Reasons Why People Bully – 7 Most Common Motives

3. Bullying Culture: When Bullying is the Status Quo

4. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

passive-aggressive bullying at school

Passive-Aggressive Bullying: 7 Hallmarks of Sneak Dissing

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‘Want to know about passive-aggressive bullying, better known as sneak-dissing? Here is everything you need to know.

passive-aggressive bullying

This type of bullying isn’t easy to recognize. It’s even harder to call out because you risk looking foolish.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about passive-aggressive bullying. Additionally, you will learn how to recognize it using context and identify it accordingly.

Once you learn all about this critical information, you will be better able to see it and point it out. Moreover, you will be able to expose the bully for who they are. A coward! And you will help others see the real person inside them, too.

This post is all about recognizing and calling out passive-aggressive bullying so that you can do so confidently.

Passive-Aggressive Bullying

Being bullied by someone who is passive-aggressive is the most demeaning and humiliating experience for a person. I say this because when these types of people insult you, they’re slick about it.

They catch you off guard. They taunt you in such a way that you may have difficulty figuring out who it’s aimed at. Sometimes, you don’t even know it’s directed at you. That is, until it’s way too late for you to deliver a good comeback.

Why? Because the bully may not necessarily address it to you. Instead, they’ll tell it to everyone else around you… right in front of you. 

However, they’ll do it in a way that leaves you in doubt. You will question yourself.

  • “Am I hearing this correctly?”
  • “Is this creep talking to me without saying it directly to me?

It’s understandable. The last thing you want is to look foolish if the person is talking about someone else and not you. However, your gut is nagging the hell out of you.

And while you may not be sure, you can bet that any bystanders and witnesses nearby immediately know who the covert nastiness is meant for. It’s funny how we tend to see so much clearly from the outside.

What is Sneak Dissing?

What I just described above is known as a sneak diss. Sneak dissing is a form of attack where a passive-aggressive bully talks about someone without mentioning their name.

If they do it within earshot, they won’t call you by name, but they will talk about you. The reason bullies do this is to avoid a direct conflict with you. In other words, the bully is a coward.

Passive-Aggressive bullying:

Sneak Dissing is a coward’s way of addressing an issue.

Therefore, it’s easier for you to stand up to this kind of bullying once you recognize it. Believe me. You’ll know they’re talking about you.

How? Your gut instinct will be nagging you like an alarm clock that won’t shut off.

What’s so terrible about sneak dissing is that the stealthy insults are usually hurled at you in front of an audience. They can quickly fly over your head. And you end up looking weak and like a clueless idiot for not catching it in time.

And even though the bully’s words are vague and unclear, they will still nibble at your self-esteem. They will take a chunk out of your pride whether you want them to or not.

Because you usually figure it out sooner or later. It only goes to prove how vicious these covert attacks can be.

The bully and a few others might think he’s witty. Moreover, bystanders might believe that the creep slapped you with a good burn. However, there are reasons why these types are so slick with their mouths.

Why some bullies use passive-aggressive abuse.

 

1. They’re great big cowards.

Passive-aggressive bullies don’t have the guts to make a direct attack.

In fact, they hope the insults go over your head. They want to confuse you and throw you off-balance. Why? Because if the can confuse you, the least likely you are to clap back.

The last thing this bully wants is for you to come back with a good counter-attack and make them look like a punk.

2. Passive-Aggressive Bullying:

They think it makes them look cute.

Passive-aggressiveness is also used to get attention and look intelligent in front of others. The only way these bullies can achieve this is to humiliate you. And if they can make you look and feel foolish in public, all the better!

3. To stun you and keep you silent.

Often, the shock value of the insults is such that it leaves the recipient and bystanders speechless. Shock shuts down the ability to think clearly. Therefore, it causes you to pause for a second or two.

In other words, it leaves you stunned. As a result, you’re standing there with your mouth hanging open and unable to respond quickly and appropriately.

This makes you appear slow and feeble-minded to bystanders, while the bully looks smart and witty.

It can also strike fear into you and keep you from speaking out. Therefore, you’ll stay silent. And why not? You’ll be afraid that the bully will only verbally beat you down with more wisecracks.

4. Easy Deniability.

If the insults are vague and indirect, there’s a higher chance the bully will escape accountability. If you catch it right away and respond to it, you may appear to be the instigator.

Then, your bully can easily misconstrue the message. They can defensively claim, “Oh, that’s not what I meant,” “No harm intended,” “I wasn’t referring to you,” or “You took that the wrong way.”

The garbage that comes out of their mouths may be vile and directed at you. However, it will have several different meanings.

And because of those multiple meanings, the bully can very innocently explain away the put-downs. Therefore, they can make you look mentally unstable.

Passive-Aggressive Bullying:

Here’s how to read between the lines.

But here’s the good news! There are ways to read between the lines. Then you can stonewall these lowlife cowards anytime they get slick-mouthed with you.

1. Listen to your gut.

If that nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach feels off and you sense something is amiss, don’t ignore it. Your gut feeling is often right, so trust it!

2. Quickly observe any surrounding bystanders.

Make a split-second micro-glance at the witnesses. Note their reactions and who they’re looking at.

Notice their facial expressions and gestures. If you see any of these expressions below, and you’re likely to notice many of them together, you are the target of the insult.

Here’s what to look for.

1. If the witnesses’ eyes widen suddenly and they immediately look at you funny after the bully opens his mouth.

Bystanders will do this because they know the bully aimed their remark at you. They also know that you should have picked up on it.

Moreover, they’re wondering why you stand there and take it. You can bet that they’re thinking, “Damn! Why doesn’t she tell this asshole to go to hell? I sure as shit would!”

Some of them are probably thinking, “Man! What a wimp! No way I’d take that!”

If nothing else, understand this! Anytime a bully makes a wisecrack, your gut will let you know, and so will the reactions of the people around you. Therefore, tell the bully in no uncertain terms to get bent!

2. Passive-Aggressive Bullying:

If they alternate uncomfortable glances from the bully to you, then back to the bully.

Again, if your bully insults you and you’re unsure about it, others’ reactions will confirm that they did. Bystanders may do this because they’re waiting on you to buck up and let the bully have it.

Moreover, they’re wondering why you don’t.

So, tell the bully to go screw themselves. A small response is better than no response.

3. If you hear light gasps and grunts of shock from the “audience.”

Realize that the bystanders are both shocked and embarrassed for you. Again, you know what to do! Let the bully have it!

4. If you see their whole faces change suddenly, and their mouths slightly gape open.

Counter the bully’s attack.

5. If you hear soft but derisive giggles, chuckles, or laughter

Bystanders may laugh at you because they’ve lost respect for you. Moreover, they may even hate you. Therefore, they enjoy seeing people humiliate you in front of everyone.

Again, don’t take this crap lying down. Say something back. Slap the bully with a good burn. Hit them in the face with their own shit. Or tell them to get lost.

However, you respond. It’s better to counter them than to remain silent and appear a victim.

6. Passive-Aggressive Bullying:

If you see or hear snickering

Do what you must do to keep your dignity. Counter the attack.

Any number of these reactions from bystanders will give you a yes. Therefore, you can address the problem accordingly.

Here are the Hallmarks of Sneak Dissing

  1. Silent Treatment
  2. Backhanded compliments
  3. Indirect criticism
  4. Subtle wisecracks and insults.
  5. Shifting blame
  6. Insinuations and Innuendos
  7. Ambiguous Language

In Closing

When some snake tries to sneak diss you, don’t ignore it. Don’t let them get away with it. Always counter passive-aggressive bullying. It’s easier than you think! Here are a few quick responses you can use.

  • “Don’t be a moron.”
  • “Blow it out your ass.”
  • “Go screw yourself.” Or, use the other word if you prefer more colorful language.

But whatever you do, don’t stay silent because you’ll only allow the bully to defeat you. Then they will repeat their behavior every time they see you.

So, don’t be an easy target. Take care of business the first time it happens.

This post was all about passive-Aggressive Bullying and sneak-Dissing so that you can Recognize it when it happens and respond accordingly.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target 

bullying and school shootings statistics

Bullying and School Shootings: 8 Facts You Need to Know

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‘Want to know about bullying and school shootings and why you should think before you act?

bullying and school shootings

According to Science Direct, “Approximately 88% of school shooters had at least one social media account, and 76% posted disturbing content of guns and threatening messages. Over 72% of shooters had at least one reported adverse childhood experience, and 60% reported being bullied in-person or online.”

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about bullying and school shootings. Moreover, you will learn why taking a gun to school is wrong whether or not you were bullied. And thirdly, you will learn all the consequences of it to yourself and everyone else.

Once you learn all about this life-saving information, you will be compelled to seek out better ways to handle it if you’re a victim of bullying.

Bullying and School Shootings

Many victims of bullying end up destroying their own lives and the lives of others by taking a gun to school and murdering their classmates. This must stop now!

However, before we get into the nitty gritty of this topic, let’s first talk about the widespread occurrences of victims using their victim-hood as an entitlement to wrongdoing.

The Dangers of Copping Out Behind Victimization

Sadly, too many victims use victimization as justification for wrongdoing. They feel that because they suffered, life owes them somehow.

In fact, I’ve seen people mistreat others merely because of the bullying they suffered in the past. Why? Because they think it’s the only way they can feel empowered again.

For example, some people may choose to rob a bank. Maybe they burn down a corporate building because they grew up poor and didn’t get a fair shake in life.

Again, they feel that the world owes them. Moreover, they feel justified in striking back against a system they believe screwed them over.

Moreover, when the law finally catches them and hauls them off to jail, they become even more embittered. Why? Because the perpetrator feels that accountability only further evidences that they aren’t getting a fair shake.

However, here’s the reality many don’t want to accept. We’re still responsible for our actions regardless of what happened to us in the past.

Here are 8 facts you need to know!

1. Bullying and School Shootings:

Victim-hood does not exempt you from consequences.

Evil behavior always brings consequences. You reap what you sow.

Therefore, past victimization does not justify wrongdoing. Ever! A reason does not equal an excuse.

Even if you’re a victim of bullying, you’re still responsible for your life.

Therefore, why not learn from the bullying you suffer. Because, believe it or not, there are lessons in it. Let it teach you something. Also, let it motivate you to create a better life for yourself later.

Realize that school is only one chapter of your life, not the entire book. And know that things will get better. They did for me and they will for you too.

Many school shootings have happen in the past thirty years. We have Columbine, Santa Fe, Parkland, and Marjory Stoneman Douglas.

Therefore, it compels me to write about something which isn’t discussed enough. It’s no surprise that bullying is a factor most school shootings.

It seems that most of today’s kids don’t have the emotional strength that those of mine and older generations had. So again, let me remind you.

Being bullied is no excuse for taking human lives.

2. Your feelings are valid but your actions aren’t.

Not if you shoot someone.

Yes. Bullying can push you to the breaking point. And yes, after years of relentless and repetitive bullying, it’s easy to snap.

Believe me, I know how it feels when school staff cruelly rebuff you when you report bullying. However, bringing a gun to school and using it isn’t the answer.

Even if you do knock off a few of your bullies and turn the gun on yourself after you’re done, you’ll still leave death and mayhem in your wake!

Those left behind will still be here to deal with what you did. And, I promise you. You’ll leave your family and the families of the ones you took in utter devastation! In fact, you’ll destroy an entire community!

And people will remember what a coward you were. All because you chose to use a gun instead of your fists! They’ll always remember how you offed yourself to avoid going to prison.

And they will talk about it for years to come. Is that the legacy you want to leave behind? You have to think before you act!

Bullying and school Shootings:

Columbine

I have read many articles about the Columbine Shooting in April of 1999. Many experts stated that the perpetrators, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, had been bullied for years.

They said that the boys had gotten fed up with the continuous negative treatment. As a result, they finally went into a rage and lashed out. Sadly, many more victims of bullying have followed their example since.

I cannot stress enough how counterproductive it is to bring a gun to school! However, I believe there is something we’re missing here.

Somewhere along the way, parents have lost the ability to talk to kids about the consequence of their actions. Moreover, the mental health industry has also failed.

I know I’m going to piss a lot of people off. But, I’m going to be honest. I think that they’re in it more for the money than they are to help bullied kids. This is only my opinion.

3. public schools and the mental health industry work together.

It’s no secret that public schools and the mental health industry work together. Also, bullying in schools keeps the mental health machine humming.

It keeps the lobbies of mental health centers packed with fresh, young patients. Moreover, it keeps the pharmaceutical companies purring too.

They profit from shoving anti-depressants down these kids’ throats. Then, they send them on their way. In many cases, schools are the ones that recommend kids to these mental health facilities.

Hmmm… is it any wonder public schools do nothing to reduce bullying rates? ‘Gotta keep those mental health centers cashing in! Right?

And they have to keep Big Pharma’s pockets fat too. Mental health has become a cash cow these past few decades.

Not to mental, bullying, mental health, and school shootings make good political fodder. It keeps the left pushing for gun control and the right pushing to arm teachers and tighten school security.

Therefore, it keeps the political machine humming as well.

Bullying and School Shootings:

Teaching Bullies and Victims Personal Responsibility

Each incidence could have been prevented. Moreover, we CAN prevent the next shooting… before it happens?

Many want to preach about gun control. But, how about holding bullies accountable and teaching them better ways to deal with their emotions? How about teaching victims confidence and proper ways to defend themselves?

 And what about telling victims the truth? The cold, hard truth! That no one is coming to rescue them and it’s their responsibility to defend themselves!

Why? Because life’s not fair and it never will be. Most bullies are charming and convincing. Moreover, they will find ways of escaping accountability.

The point is that everyone has a responsibility here.

4. When You Shoot Bullies, You make them the victims.

Again, no matter how horribly you are treated, it doesn’t give you the right to harm someone. No matter how angry, sad or lonely you are, it is never okay to take a life. NEVER!

A cause is never an excuse. The only thing that justifies killing another human being is if they’re threatening your life or the lives of your family.

Murder is wrong. Moreover, there are better and more productive ways to handle bullying.

Let’s put it another way.  When you kill someone, you no longer get to claim victim-hood. Instead, you immediately become the aggressor and make your bully the victim!

Sorry. It is what it is!

You must understand that this is exactly what bullies want. They want to look like the victim in the eyes of others.

And they want to do it while sneakily torturing you and making you look like the bad guy. Therefore, by shooting them, you only make it so much easier for them to do that.

Remember that bullies are masters at feigning victim-hood. It’s the reason they go unpunished while you look guilty as hell.

Think about it. And think hard! Your bullies have looked innocent and vilified you for so long!Why then would you want to help them look like bigger victims?

5. Bullying and School Shootings:

When you shoot someone, your bullies’ lies about you become the truth!

Your bullies have already destroyed your reputation. Shooting them would only transform their lies into the truth.

You’ll only prove that you really are despicable person. In other words, you’ll only confirm that they were right about you all along.

Here’s another possible scenario. If you shoot your bullies, you will make them heroes. People will engrave their names on a memorial at the school. On the other hand, they’ll regard your name with contempt and disgust.

You will go down in infamy. People will view you as a disgusting and vile monster. Whereas, they’ll remember your bullies as martyrs. Seriously! Is that what you want???

Therefore, when you take the life of another human being, you not only put shame on yourself. You also put shame on your  family!

Do you really want to put the people who love you through that kind of humiliation? Once you kill someone, you can never correct it! You can never bring them back!

6. If you take a life, it won’t matter that you suffered bullying.

Nicolas Cruz didn’t think about this when he snapped and decided to go to Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School and shoot his classmates. Yes. He was a victim of bullying.

 The other kids considered him to be “weird”. One of his classmates, Emma Gonzales even admitted to bullying him.

However, he chose to handle it incorrectly. He picked up a gun and shot several classmates.

Therefore, the fact that he was bullied is no longer relevant. That’s. Just. Reality!

Bullying and School Shootings:

7. If you shoot someone without just cause, no one will care why you did it.

They won’t give a damn what your reasons were! And it’s the same attitude with Nicholas Cruz. Nobody cares that he was bullied. Nobody cares that he was pushed over the edge

The only thing that matters is that several kids are dead because of him. And if you allow your bullies to drive you to committing murder, the same will go for you.

Yes, bullying is a hell only few can comprehend. I understand the intense rage. It builds to a climax after so many years of putting up with abuse.

Moreover, I understand the feeling of hopelessness. I’ve been there… in the trenches! But! You must think before you act.

Keep your wits about you no matter how badly people bully you.

You must learn to think ahead. This means thinking of the possible consequences you’ll face. Moreover, it means considering how it’ll devastate your family, not only theirs.

Think about what it would do to your future! How many prospects and opportunities would disappear, just like that!

8. Your bullies aren’t worth it!

Don’t do it! Think before you act! There are better ways to conquer bullies and bullying.

Therefore, take revenge by taking care of yourself. Make positive changes in your life. Transfer to another school and reinvent yourself if you must. It’s what I did!

Find your purpose. Set and accomplish your goals. Strive for self-betterment! If people don’t value you, then you need to create your own value.

This could be as simple as doing something you’re good at and winning an award for it. Or making an A on a test!

Instead of picking up a gun, pick up as many successes as you can. Instead of a gun, let SUCCESS be your weapon of choice! Why? Because, as Frank Sinatra quoted, “being wildly successful is the best revenge you can ever take.”

It’s about self! Make it about you and what you can achieve! Screw your bullies! They don’t matter. In fact, they don’t deserve the privilege of being in your life!

Make a lot of money! Win a truckload of awards! Write a book! Cut a CD… whatever fulfills you!

Make as many accomplishments and happy moments as humanly possible! Create your own value with SUCCESS!

This post is all about bullying and school shootings so that you’ll think before you do something drastic. Moreover, you’ll find more constructive ways to handle bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Self-Preservation Instinct: Defending Yourself from Bullies is Okay!

4. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

5. How to Shut Down a Bully: 11 Comebacks that Stop Them Cold

why do schools protect bullies reddit

Why Do Schools Protect Bullies? 5 Common Reasons

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Why do schools protect bullies? This is the question on the minds of most school bullying victims. If you’re one of them, here are all the detailed reasons you need to know.

why do schools protect bullies

When a student is bullied and reports the abuse, many schools will protect the bullies instead of the kid who needs protection. They never hold them accountable for their bad behavior. Instead, they blame the victim.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the answers you need to know.

Once you learn all the answers and the details around them, you will no longer need to ask, “Why do schools protect bullies?”. Moreover, you will realize that protecting yourself from bullying is your responsibility. And you will feel better about taking the initiative and standing up to your bullies.

This post will give you all the answers when you ask, “Why do schools protect bullies,” so that you will no longer let it confuse you.

Why Do Schools Protect Bullies?

If you’re bullied in school, you should follow the proper channels. You can report the bullying to your teachers and the principal. It’s only legal.

However, when you are bullied and report the abuse, many schools will only protect the bullies and blame you.

There are several reasons why schools protect bullies. However, first, let’s discuss how and why they attempt to conceal bullying.

Why do schools try to hide bullying?

Here are all the ways schools try to hide bullying.

1. They vehemently deny bullying in their facilities.

The reason they do this is to protect the school’s reputation and that of the school district. Bullying has been a topic of widespread news coverage over the last twenty-five years or so.

Moreover, the last thing any school wants is to be plastered all over the media because of a bullying incident. Therefore, they will deny that anything happened to cover it up.

2. They don’t contact the victim’s parents.

When a bully injures a child, schools often fail to report the incident to the child’s parents.  Moreover, they refuse to show any videos of bullying or fights to the bullied child’s parents. I’ve read about this many times.

Again, the reason they do this is to prevent the school’s reputation from being tarnished. Additionally, this also protects the bullies.

3. Why Do Schools Protect Bullies?

They answer any questions with vague statements or refuse to comment AT ALL.

The reason schools do this is to confuse the parents. They also do it to stonewall them and make them go away.

They think that if your parents give up, everything can go back to the way it was, and they won’t have to worry about their school’s reputation taking a hit.

4. They Retaliate against the bullied kid or their family.

When your parents get involved and refuse to shut up about the bullying, your school may retaliate. This doesn’t happen often, but it happens.

How schools retaliate against Bullied Students.

Many schools are vindictive toward bullied students and families who refuse to shut up about incidents of bullying. Here are the ways they retaliate.

1. They threaten to call Children’s Services

Schools do this to scare your parents into being quiet. If they can put you at risk of being removed from your home, they are more likely to silence you and your family.

Additionally, this shifts the negative spotlight away from the school and onto your family.

2. Why Do Schools Protect Bullies?

It’s easier to ban your parents from the school.

Parents who complain about bullying pose a threat to the school. Therefore, the school may ban the parent from school property.

If the parent is violent, then the school should ban them. However, in many cases, the parent did not resort to violence. All they did was simply bring up a bullying incident, and that was all it took for the school to ban them.

No. This doesn’t happen every day. Some schools do protect bullied kids. However, they are few and far between. And the bullying of innocent parents does happen. And it’s heartbreaking.

3. They have your parents arrested.

Again, if the parent comes to the school threatening violence and acting like a fool, I’m all for banning them and having them arrested.

However, many innocent parents have been arrested for simply addressing bullying. Sometimes this happens even if the parent handles the situation with diplomacy.

I’ve read many heartbreaking stories about similar situations.

4. Why Do Schools Protect Bullies?

It’s easier to Threaten you.

This happened to me years ago. Because I defended myself against many bullies, the staff made out an unruly child report and almost had me sent away.

Fortunately, I dodged that bullet. But many bullied victims don’t. And it’s sad.

5. They have you arrested and sent to the juvenile detention center.

I’ve read many stories of innocent bullying victims being sent away to juvenile detention because they fought their bullies in self-defense.

Unfortunately, zero-tolerance policies often fail to deter bullying. Sometimes, they get innocent kids in trouble for simply trying to defend themselves from physically violent bullies.

6. Why do schools protect bullies?

It’s easier to hide behind Sovereign Immunity.

Also, understand that schools have Sovereign Immunity and they will hide behind it. Sovereign Immunity is the stipulation that protects federal or state entities from litigation.

Therefore, it’s difficult to file a lawsuit against a school or school district. Parents have filed lawsuits against schools. And, yes, some have even won those lawsuits.

However, the statistics for successful cases are low.

This is why Sovereign Immunity for schools must be abolished. Moreover, they must be held accountable if a bullied student is maimed, murdered, or dies from suicide.

So, why do schools protect bullies?

1. Because the bullies have connections to people in power.

In other words, they are connected to local politicians and crime kingpins. This is especially true in small towns.

It’s because schools are afraid of pissing off those in power. If they suspend the bullies, their grades will likely drop.

Then, their powerful parents, who are likely to be adult bullies, would show up the next morning. They will demand to know why their little darlings were suspended.

If nothing else, know this. In most cases of bullying, it’s not about who’s right or wrong. It’s about who has the most power.

In other words, most people care less about right and wrong. What they care about is power and how you can benefit them in some way, shape, or form.

“What’s in it for me?”

2. Why do schools protect bullies?

Because the bullies often score high academically, which makes the school look good.

Schools are rated by the grades their students receive. Their graduation and dropout rates are also taken into account.

Therefore, if a school can maintain a high graduation rate and a low dropout rate, it enhances its reputation. In short, they look good.

Therefore, why would the school side with anyone other than its brightest stars and highest achievers?

If schools can crank out college candidates with high honors, all the better. And sadly, because of bullying, many targets drop out.

3. Why Do Schools Protect Bullies?

The bullies are athletes on the school sports teams.

Many bullies are stars of the school’s sports teams. Let’s face it. Schools have an interest in their sports teams.

They want to win games and to win in regional, state, and national championships. Why? Because it bolsters the school’s image.

And what school board member or principal wouldn’t want these things?

If the school has an excellent reputation, it’s likely to have a larger number of attending students. And more parents will likely want their kids to attend.

And the more students a school has, the more funding it receives from its state. Therefore, schools have a vested interest in maintaining a positive image.

4. The bullies are on the cheerleading squad and in sororities and fraternities.

Only students with good grades and high marks are accepted into these groups. So, it goes without saying. If they make superior grades, the school will protect them.

5. Why do schools protect bullies?

The bullies’ parents are boosters.

In other words, they are those who provide funding for the school’s programs. And trust me when I say that schools won’t risk losing these funders!

Therefore, schools will always side with the bullies and blame you because appealing to any entity’s self-interest equals POWER! And most victims of bullying, I’m sorry to say, don’t have the power that bullies have.

Remember that an imbalance of power is a primary characteristic of bullying.

6. The bullies suck up to faculty.

Like it or not, most people in power love being sucked up to. Teachers and school officials are no exception. Therefore, sucking up gives bullies many brownie points.

And school staff will protect bullies. And they will do it out of loyalty.

Why do schools protect bullies?

Schools THAT bully parents

Schools have more power than you realize. If their reputation is at risk, they will do anything to silence you and your family. They will take measures to prevent anything bad from getting out.

Sadly, many parents of bullied kids are single. And they are raising children on one paycheck. How do they fight against such powerful entities?

Understand that school officials are elected officials- politicians. And schools will protect their reputations at all costs.

How Parents can protect their children from bullying

1. Put in for a school transfer.

Although not always feasible, transferring your child to a new school is one of the best things you can do for them. A transfer will give them a fresh start with a clean slate.

And, because they’ve had no history with the other students at the new school, it will be much easier for them to make friends there.

However, what if you can’t afford it? Luckily, there’s a government program called school choice. With the school choice program, you get vouchers to send your child to any school they want to attend, even a private school.

Ways you can appeal to the school’s interests and level the playing field

If you can find a way to appeal to the school’s self-interest, then you have an ace in the hole. Here are ways you can do it!

1. Excel and keep your grades up.

I realize that this can be hard to do when you’re a target of relentless bullying. Bullying can break your concentration.

Instead of focusing on schoolwork, you naturally focus on ways to be safe. That’s completely understandable. However, you must make your bullies your motivation to excel.

There’s nothing wrong with compensating. And sometimes you must compensate to buffer your self-esteem and protect your mental health.

Therefore, if you lack friends and social connections, compensate for this by excelling in academics and improving your class performance.

It will pay huge dividends. And you’ll feel so much better about yourself.

3. Find ways to benefit the school with your talents and gifts.

If you can use your talents to bolster the school’s image, that’s a win for you. And the school will more likely support and protect you from bullies.

If you can sing, join the school choir and win in the all-state championships. Not only will you look good, but your school will also look good!

In closing:

It’s a fact that most schools ignore bullying and protect bullies. Bullies get away with bullying all the time, and some teachers may join in on the torment. It’s heartbreaking.

But don’t give up. There are things you can do to protect yourself.

This post answered the question, “Why do schools protect bullies” to get rid of any confusion and bewilderment you might have.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

2. Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying? 15 Must-Know Answers 

3. Bullying by Teachers in School: 7 Steps to Protect Yourself

sub-types of bullies and how to deal with them

Sub-types of Bullies: 7 Personalities of Bullies

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Understanding the sub-types of bullies is crucial. It’s not just about knowing there are types of bullies, but also recognizing the sub-types. Here’s everything you need to know to protect yourself.

sub-types of bullies

Types of bullies include physical bullies, verbal bullies, cyberbullies, social bullies, and so on. With sub-types, we go deeper.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about all the sub-types of bullies so that you can easily identify them when they come for you.

Once you learn all about these categories of bullies, you will be better equipped to defend yourself from bullying and ensure your safety.

This post is all about the sub-types of bullies so that you know who they are and can better protect yourself.

Sub-types of Bullies

Bullies come in different kinds. You can never assume how your bullies will react, as different people respond to other things in various ways.

Speak out against and expose some bullies, and they might leave you alone. Talk about others, and they’ll go to the ends of the earth to get back at you.

Therefore, you must tailor your defense strategies to the particular bully you’re dealing with. To do this, you must be able to distinguish the blowhards from the truly vindictive.

You must differentiate between the smart and the foolish. You must also separate the aggressive and the passive-aggressive.

Never deal blindly with bullies. Why? Because if you handle them willy-nilly, you’ll be at their mercy. And they’ll toss you around like a tornado tosses debris.

To successfully combat bullying, it is essential to recognize the various personality types. Otherwise, you won’t survive.

Here are all the personality types (sub-types) of bullies you likely deal with.

1. Bullies with Narcissism

They may try to hide it. However, their self-importance gives them away. They have excessive pride and an overly inflated sense of entitlement.

All this combined makes them dangerous. They believe they are beyond reproach. Therefore, if they think for a moment that you slighted them, they will pay you back with severe brutality.

Logic and rationality don’t apply to these people. They overreact to what even looks like opposition.

Sub-Types of Bullies:

All you don’t have to do anything to them for them to come after you.

You don’t have to provoke them. In fact, you don’t have to do anything at all. All you have to do is be good at something. In other words, if you outdo them at anything, they’ll take offense to it.

They’ll call you a showoff and take it as you’re trying to be better than them. And they’ll make you pay dearly. If you get recognition for a project well done, these people won’t tolerate it. They hate being in anyone’s shadow!

Bullies with narcissism are usually in the popular crowd at school or in management at work.

Don’t bother trying to second-guess them. Avoid them like the plague! Because they live to cause pain.

It’s in their psychology.

2. Sub-Types of Bullies:

Arrogant Bullies

Arrogant bullies don’t have to have narcissism. Why? Because, in many cases, arrogance comes from insecurity. People may put on an air of arrogance to hide their insecurities.

This kind of bully may have low self-esteem, but they hide that by acting like they’re better than you.

They are a close second to the bullies with narcissism. The only thing that separates them from the narcs is that the narcs really do think they’re superior.

However, the arrogant bullies want you to think they’re superior.

These bullies are harder to spot and less violent. Like those with narcissism, they have extremely fragile egos.

They are highly insecure. Moreover, if they dislike you, they’ll attack in small nibbles. You won’t realize it until they begin taking bigger swipes at you.

These bullies are usually the wannabes. They are groupies to the popular crowd at school or the suck-ups to management at work.

Avoid these people as well because they will bully you to prove their worth to the popular crowd.

3. Suspicious Bullies

These bullies only see the worst in you. They see you as a threat and think that you’re out to get them when you aren’t.

Suspicious bullies aren’t as dangerous as the previous two. You can fool these bullies much easier. And sometimes you must resort to trickery to protect yourself.

To counter these bullies, you must use their suspicions and turn them to someone else. As long as they’re bullying someone else, they’re leaving you alone.

4. Sub-Types of Bullies:

Those with photographic memories

These bullies never forget you. If you were to run into them again 30 years later, you can bet that they will target you again. They’ll pick up where they left off.

If you’re a target of these bullies, they won’t show their hatred outwardly. But they will keep their eyes on you.

They’ll lie in wait as they plot. Then, when the time is right, they’ll exact their brutality with a frigid coldness. These bullies are usually stoic.

To protect yourself, you must punish these bullies so severely that they won’t even think of coming for you again.

5. Bullies who aren’t very bright

These individuals are easy to counter and won’t anticipate your counterattack. These are the bullies you can most easily defend yourself against. Also, they’re easy to expose.

Again, you must know your bullies if you expect to overcome them. Knowing your bullies means understanding their personalities and being able to predict their future actions.

Only then will you be able to protect yourself against them.

6. Sub-Types of Bullies:

Passive-Aggressive Bullies

These types of bullies are slick with their attacks. They catch you off guard, taunting you in such a way that it can be tricky to figure out if it’s you they’re aiming their attacks at.

Sometimes, you don’t even know until it’s too late for you to deliver a good comeback.

Why? Because the bully may not necessarily address it to you. In other words, you may not know they’re talking about you.

However, bystanders will immediately know who the covert nastiness was meant for. It’s funny how we tend to see so much clearer from the outside.

What’s so terrible about this is that the stealthy insults are usually hurled at you in front of an audience. And they can quickly fly over your head.

As a result, you end up looking like a clueless idiot for not catching it in time. The bully’s words are vague and unclear. But they’ll still nibble at your self-esteem.

Passive-aggressive bullies are cowards.

They take a chunk out of your pride, whether you want them to or not. Why? Because you usually figure it out sooner or later. It only goes to prove how vicious these covert attacks can be.

The bully and a few others think they’re being cute and witty. And they slap you with burn after burn. However, see these people for who they are and why they’re so slick with their mouths.

They’re nothing but cowards. Why? Because they lack the courage to make a direct attack. They’re afraid of how you might respond, so they hit you with sneak attacks to stun you into silence.

Here’s how you protect yourself from these creeps. Learn to read between the lines. Also, learn to read the room when they get slick-mouthed with you.

Also, listen to your gut. If you have a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach, don’t ignore it.

Watch the people around you. Notice their reactions. Also pay attention to any clusters. If you see any of these expressions below, you are the target of the insult.

  • Witnesses’ eyes suddenly widen and they immediately look at you funny after the bully opens his mouth
  • They alternate uncomfortable glances from the bully to you, then back to the bully.
  • You hear light gasps and grunts of shock from the “audience.”
  • Their faces suddenly change and mouths slightly gape open.
  • You hear soft but derisive giggles, chuckles, or laughter
  • You see or hear snickering

If you notice any of these things, let the bully have it!

7. Sub-Types of Bullies:

Those who are easily Offended

For people who love to dish out the bullshit, bullies are the most easily offended. They have such fragile egos that it takes zero effort to offend them.

Understand that people who are easily offended take things completely out of context. They attach meaning to your behavior when it’s completely devoid of personal meaning.

Even if you are neutral, these bullies will find ways to turn it into a personal affront or confrontation.

With these pansies, it’s always:

  • “She doesn’t agree with everything I say, do, and think, so that means she doesn’t like me!”
  • “He has a different opinion than me, so that means he’s looking down his nose at me!”
  • “She doesn’t like the same things I like, so that means she hates me!”

When they do this, they presume to know what you’re thinking and feeling.

In Closing

In life, you will run into all kinds of bullies. This is why you must understand their personality types so that you can better predict their behavior. Then, you can tailor your defense tactics

This post was all about the sub-Types of bullies so that you can predict their next move and tailor your defense against them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Narcissism: 7 Secret Powers of Narcopathic Bullies

2. Sadistic Personality: Bullies who Bully for Pleasure 

How to Prove Workplace Bullying: 3 Types of Proof You Need

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‘Want to know how to prove workplace bullying? Here are three types of proof you should be familiar with.

how to prove workplace bullying

Workplace bullying is often more challenging to prove than school bullying. The reason for this is that adults are generally more skilled at concealing their intentions than schoolchildren and teenagers.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to prove workplace bullying so that you will have the materials you need to present during company tribunals or in court.

Once you have learned all about this crucial information, you will be able to gather your evidence and prove your case confidently.

This post is all about how to prove workplace bullying so that you can save your reputation and get the justice you deserve.

How to Prove Workplace Bullying

Workplace bullying is the most difficult to prove. Why? Because adults are much better at hiding their bullying than kids in school. Moreover, companies are good at covering up bullying incidents and protecting themselves from legal consequences.

Therefore, you must gather your evidence on your own.

When you report bullying at work, HR will likely tell you that they will conduct an investigation and get back with you. However, never rely on that. Here’s why.

1. HR will only look out for the company’s interests, not yours.

They may tell you that they’ll protect you. However, this is a lie that has sold many bullied employees down the river.

Additionally, if the bully is a superior, such as a supervisor or manager, you can be certain that HR will likely protect them rather than you.

Just by being higher up than you on the corporate ladder, HR will more than likely take their word over yours. That’s just how it works.

2. How to Prove Workplace Bullying:

By reporting bullying, you automatically become a liability.

HR will never tell you this. However, once you report bullying and submit that grievance form, they will consider you a threat to the company.

They may claim to have an open-door policy. But the reality is that most companies despise employees who complain even once.

When you complain, you make waves. Therefore, they’ll begin watching you and looking for any reason to terminate you.

Therefore, it would be best if you quietly gathered your evidence before reporting bullying and submitting a grievance form. Why? Because if you already have the proof you need, you will throw HR off balance.

You may even throw them into panic mode. Then, they will more than likely make mistakes that benefit you.

So, What are the three types of evidence you need?

The workplace can be very cutthroat. Therefore, gather your evidence quietly. The trick is not to let on that anything is happening until you have already collected your proof.

If you keep it quiet while gathering evidence, your workplace bullies won’t need to watch their behavior. Therefore, let them think that they have you over a barrel. Keep them comfortable with their abuse.

Why?  Because when someone is relaxed, they expose themself. That’s what you want!

Here is the proof you’ll need.

1. How to Prove Workplace Bullying:

Your own documentation.

If you want to gather evidence that people are bullying you at work, writing about it can be the first step to making a record of the attacks.

The best way to do this is to keep a bullying journal. Journals are the best way for you to protect yourself.

When you keep a journal of bullying, you establish a pattern of bullying that is believable. Moreover, you also provide evidence to present in court if you decide to go the legal route.

Also, keep your journal safe at home. Never take it to work with you. Why? Because bullies are known for plundering through your office and your desk after you’ve gone home for the day.

Therefore, you risk them finding your journal and snooping through it. So, keep it home.

Write about any of the day’s bullying events as soon as you get home, while your memory is still fresh. The sooner you write about it, the better.

When documenting bullying in your journal, be sure to use the 5-W method.

the 5-W Method

1. What

Write in your journal what happened. And when you write about it, describe the incident exactly as it unfolded. Include any exchanges of dialogue and by whom.

2. Who

Identify the bullies by writing down their full names. If necessary, include their titles and positions. Also, include the names, titles, and positions of any bystanders and witnesses.

If any supervisors are present, please add their names, titles, and positions as well. They may not want to provide any testimonies. Additionally, they may even deny witnessing the bullying incident.

However, if you document correctly, your bullying journal will expose them for the liars and cowards they are.

3. How to Prove Workplace Bullying:

When

Record the date and exact time of the incident. This is very important!

4. Where

 You must include where the incident happened. For instance, did it happen in the company bathroom? Record that. Did it occur in the parking lot? Write that in your journal.

5. Why

Write down why it happened. For example, was the bully retaliating because you reported prior harassment?. Write down every detail!

If you don’t know why it happened, write that down. Moreover, if necessary, also describe how the incident occurred. You owe it to yourself to document the bullying.

How not to record in Your Journal

Pay attention to the quality of your documentation. Make sure that you write everything neatly and legibly. The last thing you want is writing that isn’t easy to read.

Don’t be vague. And don’t write how they made you feel. Here are examples of wrong statements in documentation.

  • “Her words made me feel hurt and embarrassed.”
  • “He assaulted me.” This is why detailed documentation is so crucial.

Always write everything down in the tiniest details possible. And no hearsay. In other words, none of the “he said, she said” stuff. Ever!

If you didn’t hear it with your own ears, it’s best not to write about it. Instead, only record your own experiences.

If people are bullying you, I can’t stress enough how important it is to have documentation of it. Documentation gets more credit than spoken words.

Why? Because when you use the spoken word to describe what you’ve experienced, you can become emotional. Then, you will end up rambling about it. And it will hurt you more than it will help.

When you’re being bullied, it’s not the time to be lazy. You must be proactive and document! It’s truly the best defense there is!

2. How to Prove Workplace Bullying:

Recordings.

You can use a hidden body camera or a digital recorder. You can use both, if you prefer. However, here’s a word of caution. You must get familiar with the laws in your state on recordings.

Some states have a one-party consent rule, and others have a two-party consent rule. If you live in a one-party consent state, using recordings to gather evidence is illegal.  And it could easily backfire on you.

On the other hand, if you live in a two-party consent state, you are free to record. Therefore, consider wearing a hidden body camera or carrying a digital voice recorder to work.

But read the company’s policy first. Some companies have clauses that prevent recordings on their property.

3. How to Prove Workplace Bullying:

Electronic Evidence: Screenshots, saved emails, and saved messages.

Take screenshots of any company email exchanges between you and your bully. However, chances are that your company has software that monitors the entire network. In other words, they will be watching you.

Moreover, they will watch and record every keystroke you make. So, if you use the company computer to take screenshots, they’ll know it.

Therefore, use your phone to take pictures of the email exchanges. When you do it this way, you won’t blow your cover, and you’ll continue to keep your investigation secret.

If bullies bully you at work, there’s a good chance they’ll stalk your social media pages, get your email address, and bully you online too.

Therefore, save everything on three or more different flash drives. Then, keep each flash drive in a different place. The trick is to take precautions in case someone connected to your bullies breaks into your house to conduct a little snooping.

This doesn’t happen often. However, it has happened, and you want to take precautions.

If your workplace bully sends you a mean or threatening text, save it. The more evidence you gather, the more you build your case. Therefore, the more likely you are to get justice.

In Closing

When you’re being bullied or mobbed at work, I want to emphasize the importance of gathering your own evidence. HR may try to assure you that they’ll conduct an investigation. However, you should never take that at face value.

Realize that HR is only looking out for the company’s best interests. Therefore, you must look out for yours.

This is not the time to by lazy. So, do what you must do to gather evidence of bullying and build your case. Nobody can watch your ass but you.

This post was all about how to prove workplace bullying so that you can build a good case and win!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying Evidence: 5 Smart Ways to Get Evidence of Bullying

2. How to Document Bullying: 5 Things to Record in Your Journal

3. Bullying Journal: 8 Reasons You Should Keep One

reactive bullying meaning

Reactive Bullying: What is It?

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‘Ever heard of reactive bullying? Here’s what it is and why it can lead to trouble.

reactive bullying

When bullies force you to tolerate their bullying, the pressure builds over time. You become angry, and that anger also builds. Everyone has a breaking point. And when people push you to yours, you snap and show your ugly side.

This happens all the time, and it can lead to mayhem if you aren’t careful.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about reactive bullying and its potential impact on you.

Once you learn all about this important, even life-saving information, you will be able to save yourself a lot of drama down the road.

This post is all about reactive bullying, so that you can take steps to save yourself from having it weaponized against you.

Reactive Bullying

What is reactive bullying? Reactive bullies tend to be victims of bullying. Reactive bullying happens when bullies taunt you until you finally snap out of rage and launch a verbal tirade or physical attack against your bullies.

The victim who snaps

You snap after you’ve ignored the bullying for so long. You’ve tried handling it calmly, but it doesn’t help. The bullies only intensify the bullying.

As time passes, the pressure builds slowly. For example, you take a bottle of Coke and shake it up. If you keep shaking it up, it will eventually spew.

This is what happens after people have targeted you for so long.  The pressure boils over, and you ultimately explode with rage, lashing out at your tormentors. Realize that you can’t hold it in forever.

So, you let them have it! In other words, you bully them back. Is blowing up and going off on your bullies the wisest thing to do?

No. Why? Because an explosive reaction is precisely what your bullies want. They want you to snap. And, the reason they want you to blow up on them is so they can play the victim and make you look like the bully.

Reactive Bullying:

Your bullies will only weaponize your reaction.

I realize that people can only take so much. I understand that when you’ve had enough, you’ve had enough, and I’m with you.

However, bullies are experts at baiting you. Although your reaction may be justified, your bullies will only use it against you. They’ll paint it as proof that you’re mentally unstable.

They’ll say that you’re too sensitive or you’re a drama queen. Also, they may use it to blame you. They may say,

  • “Well? Maybe if you wouldn’t get so overly emotional, you’d have friends!”
  • “If you didn’t overreact to everything, people would want to be around you more!”
  • “Maybe if you’d control your temper, we wouldn’t give you such a hard time!”

Your reaction is a tool they can use to Blame you.

However, see this for what it is. It’s gaslighting of the highest extent. Your bullies mistreat you, then punish you for reacting to their abuse.

They also use it to make excuses for the behavior and deflect the blame back onto you. Sadly, it works like a charm, and bystanders and witnesses believe them.

For example, we’ll use a scene in the movie “Home Alone 2.”

In this scene, the McAllisters are having a family meeting in their living room. The main character, Kevin, is in trouble for pushing his older brother, Buzz, after Buzz humiliated him at the Christmas choir concert.

Buzz gives a fake apology to Kevin and the rest of the family. He then turns toward his little brother and sneakily calls him a trout-sniffer. Then, Buzz baits Kevin into a reaction. Therefore, Kevin gets into trouble with the family, while Buzz gets off scot-free.

Bullies pull the same trick on you.

Reactive Bullying:

Superiors won’t punish your bullies for abusing you, they’ll punish you for your reaction to it.

If you blow a gasket and tear into your bullies, it doesn’t undercut the fact that they initiated it. After all,  your bullies are the ones who asked for it and drove you to get out of character.

Every single human one of us is capable of losing our cool after we’ve endured vile treatment for so long. However, many superiors will punish you because they feel that you overreacted.

There will be those who feel that the punishment outweighs the crime.

Therefore, teachers, supervisors, and others in authority must learn to distinguish between provocation and reaction. Then, they will be able to identify the real bully and target.

You must also learn to distinguish between the two so that you can call it out when it happens to you. Fortunately, there are a few reliable ways to differentiate between a provocation and a reaction. In that, you identify the real victim who is only reacting to bullying.

How do you know which person is the bully and which is the victim?

Simple! You can determine this by observing each person’s behavior.

A victim who has only reacted always feels terrible about how they acted once they’ve calmed down. They are usually the first to apologize for it.

A real target will also not be afraid to admit they’ve made a mistake.

On the other hand, a bully must always be right. They will never admit they’ve done anything wrong. Instead, a bully will continue to blame the victim.

They will be overly critical of the target and their reaction. Moreover, bullies will also use the tiniest mistake or imperfection and exaggerate it beyond its actual size. Bullies are also excessively dramatic.

Now, if the bully is a smooth talker, he might even admit to a few minor mistakes or wrongdoings. However, they will always follow that with the claim that the victim is at fault.

Therefore, always look for these signs. Then, you can easily peel the mask off the bully, layer by layer! Moreover, you can protect and care for the victim.

Reactive BULLYING:

Damned if you do and damned if you don’t

As mentioned earlier, the pressure of bullying builds until you snap. Bystanders and superiors may feel that your reaction subtracts from the fact that they drove you to overreact.

As a result,  you may stop defending yourself. Why? It seems that every time you stand up for yourself, they punish you for it. Therefore, it may discourage you from standing up for yourself.

As a result, you may feel you have no other choice but to stay silent. You may think it easier to resign yourself, stay quiet, and allow them to keep bullying you.

The fear of them making you the villain overrides your natural desire to defend yourself. And, in your silence, you may hope that others take notice of your passivity and realize that you are, in fact, the target.

However, in most cases, this doesn’t work either. Why? Because, when you suffer bullying, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

What happens when bullies make you out to be the bad guy?

If your bullies make you look like the instigator when you defend yourself, they become brazen. Then, they have carte blanche to bully you any time they feel like it.

Moreover, they will bully you more frequently, more severely, and more openly.

Reactive Bullying:

So What can you do?

You can react to bullying in positive ways. What do I mean by this?

For instance, you can become an advocate against bullying. You can speak for others who suffer from bullying.

Also, you can focus more on your life goals. You can get busy working on those goals and following your dreams. This will buffer your self-esteem from the effects of bullying.

And you can tell your story of how people bully you. And you must, no matter how they shout you down.

Continue to talk about it, no matter how they blame and punish you. Tell your side of the story, even if no one wants to listen to it.

Just having your say can give you such relief. The fact that you got it off your chest and out in the open keeps you from internalizing everything. Also, it saves your self-esteem from being destroyed.

This is all a part of self-care.

The Importance of self-Care

When you’re against these types of odds, self-care is most important. Realize that, although the bullies may never change their behavior toward you, they can never stop you from taking care of yourself.

In these situations, all you have is you. So, practice self-care. Show yourself compassion and do what you must do to preserve your safety and mental health. Be your own best friend. Fight for yourself.

You’re worth fighting for.

Reactive Bullying:

In closing

Reactive bullying is a natural reaction to bullying. However, it can also give bullies a tool to use against you. Therefore, respond to bullying the right way. Never allow your bullies to get you so riled up that you snap.

Why? Because once you lose your cool, you lose your ability to think clearly, and you give your bullies a chance to lay the blame on you.

This post was all about reactive bullying for you to learn what it is and how bullies can use it to their advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Punished for Defending Yourself: What You Can Do

2. Baiting: 5 Ways Bullies Bait You Into a Reaction 

3. Unhealthy Ways to Deal with Bullying: 11 No-No’s to be Aware of

4. Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up

why being too nice is bad for you

Why Being Too Nice is Bad and 5 Ways to Grow a Pair

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‘Want to know why being too nice is bad and how to grow a backbone? Here are all the details you need to know.

why being too nice is bad

Too much sugar is never good because it not only eats away at your teeth, but it also eats away at your self-esteem and your life.

In this post, you will learn why being too nice is bad and five ways to grow a pair so that you can save yourself a ton of trouble and avoid people who take your niceness for weakness.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be better equipped to set boundaries and keep users, abusers, and bullies at bay.

This post is about why being too nice is bad, so that you can develop a sense of self-protection and repel people who would use and abuse you. 

Why Being Too Nice is Bad

In a world with so many evil people, it isn’t wise to be a pushover, as being too nice means having no backbone and no boundaries.

There will be users and bullies who’ll take your kindness for being a fool. And don’t think they won’t take advantage of you.

Here are signs that you’re too danged nice.

1. You tolerate crappy behavior from people.

When you are too nice, you tend to take shit off of others. You overlook subtle zingers and other stealth forms of bullying. You smile to cover up the hurt when people disrespect you. And because of it, others think you’re pathetic.

Therefore, you attract people who don’t respect you. Why? Because you don’t impose consequences on those who mistreat you. And they know that you aren’t going to do a damn thing about it.

So, more and more people begin bullying and abusing you. Once you allow one person to bully you, others will notice and think that they can do it too. Then, you’ll have two bullies on your trail, then four, then six, and so on.

And, more and more will pile on until, before you know it, everyone is taking a bite out of your ass.

The best way to deal with this is to stand up for yourself the first time someone disrespects you. Call out their lousy behavior and let them know that you aren’t going to take any crap off them.

2. Why Being Too Nice is Bad:

You over-apologize.

You apologize for things that aren’t your fault.  And you’re sorry for things that have nothing to do with you. Keep this up, and others will find it too easy to lay guilt trips on you whenever you can’t give them what they want.

As a result, they will begin blaming you for the tiniest of things. Why? Because they know that you’ll bow down and take the blame.

So, stop apologizing so doggone much! Realize that some things don’t need an apology. Save your “sorries” for legitimate things that need them.

3. You end up a slave to the demands of others.

You bend over backward to take care of everyone else. And often, they don’t appreciate it. Instead, they only demand more of you.

Therefore, you always feel tired and exhausted. Why? Because you’re so busy pleasing others that you don’t have time to take care of yourself.

How you change this is to set boundaries. Gather the guts to say no. And when you say it, mean it! Some may not like it. However, should you care?

They never cared enough about you not to take advantage of you. So, why should you care if they get angry at your having boundaries?

Stop caring so much about what others think and how they react. Set boundaries. And stick to your guns. Also, be prepared to enforce those boundaries if necessary. In other words, be ready to show your ugly side if anyone gives you any grief.

4. Why Being Too Nice is Bad:

You say yes when you want to say no.

You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or piss anyone off. So, against your better judgment, you say yes when you want to say no.

You may be dog-tired and want to go to bed. However, someone shows up at your door at eleven o’clock at night with a problem.

You agree to help them with their problem. But what you should do is tell them to take a walk and never to darken your doorstep at such a ridiculous hour!

You’ll also rescue people from self-inflicted bad situations. In other words, you’re an enabler. Therefore, stop rewarding this kind of behavior.

The next time someone shows up at your door in the middle of the night and it’s not an emergency, crawl their butt! Give them an ass-chewing they’ll never forget, and I promise you. They’ll pick a better hour to come by, or they won’t show up ever again.

Either way, you win!

5. You take on others’ moods.

Instead of refusing to let some Negative Nancy get you down, you allow their funky mood to rub off on you. Not good!

Why Being TOO Nice is Bad:

Why are you too nice?

There are many reasons why you may be too nice. You may feel that you aren’t enough. Perhaps you think that you have no right to say no to anything —that you don’t deserve to take care of yourself.

You may be afraid of conflict.

It’s natural to want to be approved of, liked, and loved. However, when you feel that the only way to do it is to bust ass for others, that’s when it’s unhealthy.

Additionally, you often end up with the opposite of what you want. Why? Because people lose respect for you! No one respects a pushover!

And you won’t realize all of this until you reach your limit and get fed up! But you don’t have to waste years of your life being a doormat if you follow the guidelines below.

Here are 5 ways to grow a pair.

1. Stand up to shabby treatment.

Life’s too short for that. You must stand up for yourself when someone violates a boundary, whether it be physical or psychological.

Realize you deserve to be treated well, and you deserve it just as much as the next person. Therefore, you must always speak up for yourself.

2. Why Being too Nice is Bad:

Stop apologizing so much.

Realize that some things don’t warrant an apology. And standing up for yourself and saying no are only two of those things.

When you apologize too much, you invite bullying to happen to you. Why? Because you care too much about what people think, you also attract bullies and abusers into your life. And they will take advantage of you.

Stop apologizing and taking responsibility for things you aren’t guilty of. When you do this, you’ll repel all the creeps who are looking for someone to use.

3. put yourself first.

Take care of yourself first. Only then will you have enough energy to take care of others.

4. Say no.

Don’t be afraid to say no if you don’t want to do something. If you don’t feel like fulfilling someone else’s request, no law says you have to.

For example, if you have adult children who need your help with their rent, you can assist them if you know they’re responsible and trying. Sometimes, unexpected things happen.

People get sick and have unexpected medical bills. Cars break down, and repair bills take all the money for rent.

However, if they’re out blowing money on drinks and partying, then you don’t have to help them. Sometimes you must let them fall on their butt before they’ll take responsibility for their lives.

5. Why Being too Nice is Bad:

don’t let the moods of others around you affect your mood.

If you have a Debbie Downer who is always negative, there’s nothing wrong with calling them out on it or staying away from them. Whatever you do, don’t try to rescue them or argue with them. It won’t work.

Leave them to stew in their juices. Their emotional state isn’t your responsibility.

Why Being Too Nice is Bad.

1. It’s exhausting.

You waste a lot of energy trying to appease ungrateful people when you could be taking care of yourself.

2. People take you for granted.

People will only take your kindness for weakness. They will take advantage of you every chance they get.

3. You attract bullies, users, and abusers.

Human predators will see you coming a mile away. Therefore, they will approach you just to obtain what they want from you.

4. Why Being Too Nice is Bad:

People see you as a pushover.

This is never good because once others see you as a pushover, they’ll likely take advantage of you. Additionally, you’ll appear pathetic to them.

5. You lose respect.

No one respects a doormat. On the other hand, they do respect someone who sets boundaries.

6. You have no time for yourself.

When you’re too busy solving other people’s problems, you have no time to take care of your own. So, take care of your issues first.

Why Being Too Nice is Bad:

In closing

Sometimes, taking care of yourself means facing conflict, as some people can be selfish and demanding. They won’t be able to see past their own needs and desires.

Never be afraid to set boundaries. It’s okay to take care of others. But don’t forget to take a little back for yourself. Only then will people respect you and recognize that you also have feelings and rights.

You will be amazed at the benefits!

It’s okay to be kind, but never be too nice!

1. How to Stop Being Too Nice: 5 Powerful Changes that Win Respect

2. Saying Sorry Too Much: 4 Reasons You Do and How to Stop It

3. What Happens When You Set Boundaries: 7 Amazing Outcomes

4. When You Stop Caring: 9 Positive Results You’ll See

5. Benefits of Setting Boundaries

comebacks for bullies at school

Comebacks for Bullies: 12 Phrases that Shut Them Up

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‘Want to know the best comebacks for bullies so that you can shut them up for good? Here are all the burning clap-backs you need to know about.

comebacks for bullies

Bullies are forever on the attack. They are pretty inventive when it comes to verbal sparring. Sadly, many victims get stumped because they can’t think of anything to counter the verbal abuse.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn several comebacks you can use to get them to shut up and leave you alone once and for all.

Once you learn these clap-backs, you will lessen the chances of them coming for you again. Additionally, your confidence will receive a significant boost.

This post provides a list of comebacks for bullies, so you can give them a dose of their own medicine and force them to go away for good.

Comebacks for Bullies

Understand that bullies thrive on power and control. Therefore, if they can’t control you, they’ll control how others view you. This is why they like to throw cute little zingers and burns at you in front of an audience.

They want to diminish you in the eyes of others.

Also, they’ll use redundancy and repetition to make you believe their lies, too. Here’s what they say to brainwash you into seeing yourself through their eyes. Also, here’s what you should come back with.

Examples

1. Bullies: “Apart from us, you can do nothing, you are nothing, and you never will be.”

You: “Apart from you, I’m better off. I can do anything I set my mind to do, and who are you to make predictions?”

When you respond this way, you completely counter the bully’s statement. In that, you buffer your self-esteem and confidence. They may not stop talking. They may even repeat themselves.

However, the important thing is that you countered their attack. You didn’t take it lying down. So, you dealt a blow, and that’s what matters.

2. Bullies: “You’ll never find happiness.”

You: “Really? Why’s that? Because you never found any? I don’t need your permission to be happy. I’m much happier without losers like you.”

3. Bullies: “Nobody will ever like you.”

You: “And who’s ‘nobody?’ You? Maybe you never will, but I don’t mind because you don’t matter.”

4. Bullies: “You’re nothing without our approval.”

You: “I’m nothing with it because you are nothing. I don’t need your approval.

Always counter your bullies’ verbal attacks. Even counter the unspoken ones. You’ll be surprised at what it’ll do for your self-esteem and spirit!

Comebacks for bullies:

Universal comebacks you can use to counter any verbal attack.

1. If I want to hear from an ass, I’ll fart.

2. Were you born a jackass or did you have to work at it?

3. Take a break. You don’t have to be a moron every day of your life.

With the above three comebacks, you are insulting the bully’s intelligence. Making someone out to be an idiot is worse than yelling and cursing them out. Why? Because you can be calm and cool as a cucumber when you counter with these kinds of comebacks.

4. Boneheads like you are the reason abortion is legal.

Not only are you calling the bully an idiot, you’re also sending the message that the world would be a better place if they weren’t around. Therefore, this is a two-in-one.

Comebacks that weaponize your bully’s emotions.

5. Are you mad? Fix your face, sweetie.

This is a great counter-jab because it highlights your bully’s anger. Also, you get to take their outrage and rub their noses in it. Now, who doesn’t love that?

6. You’re not a happy person, are you?

When you come back with this, you’re letting the bully and everyone else within earshot know that they’re a miserable human being. Ouch!

Moreover, this is embarrassing to bullies, and they’ll likely quickly leave you alone and find someone else to jerk around.

Comebacks for bullies:

Calling out their behavior.

7. Are you so miserable that you have to put someone else down to feel better about yourself?

By saying this, you’re not only calling out their behavior, you’re exposing the bully as the pathetic loser they are. Anyone who must berate others to feel powerful can’t be about much.

Therefore, you instill some shame into the bullies, and they’ll likely decide that you aren’t the one they want to tangle with.

8. You can’t insult me. I’d have to care about your opinions first.

With this little gem of a comeback, you’re telling your bullies that they’re wasting their breath on you. And if you’re a bully, it’s nowhere near as fun to take pot shots at someone who doesn’t give a damn what you think.

In fact, it takes the wind out of a bully’s sails. Remember that bullies are counting on a big, emotional reaction from you. And when you calmly counter them with this little firecracker, you take the fun out of the game.

Therefore, they’ll decide that you aren’t worth the energy and find an easier target.

When Using these comebacks, remember to use them calmly.

9. Why are you so obsessed with me? That’s creepy, and I don’t like you that way.

This is a great clap-back because you’re humiliating the bullies by highlighting their obsession with you. Also, you’re making it look to bystanders as though they are romantically interested in you, but don’t know how else to get your attention.

10. You must bully people to compensate for your shoe size.

The most effective counter-jab is to reframe the bully’s behavior as a response to a shortcoming.  When you do it this way, you can reduce the bully’s power and make them look foolish if an audience is present.

11. You need to stop outing yourself.

This is a good one because you make it seem to others as if your bullies are projecting their issues onto you. And, in most cases of bullying, they are.

12. Whatever.

You can use this little one-word wonder in almost any verbal situation. Also, it can be used as a response to any verbal attack.

A cool response of “whatever” is the comeback of the ages! It’s short and sweet, and it’s the perfect blow-off to any bully.

Comebacks for Bullies:

The less words you use, the better!

Let’s face it, being blown off with this magic word is a real pisser-offer to every bully. Why? Because they’re looking for a big reaction from you. Any time you calmly make this little response, it sends the message to the bully that they bore you. Ouch!

Another reason this little beauty of a word infuriates bullies so much is that there’s no good comeback to counter it. It stops them dead in their tracks and leaves them looking nine kinds of dimwitted!

Bullies may verbally retaliate with a “whatever” of their own, but it will only make them look unoriginal and childish. The trick with this comeback is to strike first. Why? Because he who says it first automatically wins the day!

More Comebacks for bullies.

For example, your bully may ask you, “‘You want to fight me?”  Then, you can say, “I would but shit splatters.”

If your bully tells you to get a life, you say, “Like yours? Nah. I’ll pass.”

If the bully tells you that you’re an arrogant jerk, you could say, “That’s a compliment coming from you.”

And, if the bully tells you that your shirt looks like it’s from the Salvation Army, you could come back with, “Oh, you shop there too, huh?”

If a bully flips you off, you could say, “Behind every bird is a pile of shit.”

In Closing

If you’re a target of bullying, I cannot stress how important it is for you to have a few zingers filed away in the back of your mind. Moreover, you must be quick! You must be able to think on your feet!

With these comebacks, you will look calm, cool, and collected while making your bullies look defeated.

You will throw your bullies off balance. You will infuriate them so much that they won’t be able to think straight. They will probably react out of emotion. And when they do that, they will only expose themselves.

Moreover, you will instantly boost your self-esteem and save your mental health from any damage that verbal bullying can cause.

So, put this in your little toolbox, because with these comebacks, you can’t go wrong! Just remember to say it calmly and coolly. Then watch your bullies’ reactions as they search and stumble to find a comeback without repeating you and looking utterly ridiculous.

Once you learn how to disarm bullies, you will throw them for a loop and discourage them from ever coming for you again.

This post was all about comebacks for bullies so that you can be ready with a quick counter-jab when your bullies come at you with verbal abuse, and you can save your self-esteem and overall mental health.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Disarm a Bully: 13 Clever Comebacks that Work Wonders

2. How to Shut Down a Bully: 11 Comebacks that Stop Them Cold

3.  Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

4. How to Respond to Darvo: 7 Powerful Ways to Shut it Down 

How to Love Yourself when Everyone Hates You

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‘Want to know how to love yourself when everyone hates you. It won’t be easy, but here are some things you can do to keep loving who you are when it seems others don’t.

how to love yourself when everyone hates you

Continuing to love yourself is the most important thing you can do when you’re stuck in a place where everyone else hates you.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to love yourself when everyone hates you so that you can maintain your confidence and self-esteem.

Once you learn all about these crucial tips, your self-esteem won’t take such a big hit, and you’ll come away from it with minimal damage to your psyche.

This post teaches you how to love yourself when everyone hates you, so that you can preserve the most precious things you have- your confidence and self-esteem.

How to Love Yourself When Everyone Hates You

Life can get tough when you work or go to school in an environment where everyone else hates you. Here are twelve tips you can use to maintain self-love and protect your mental health.

1. Practice self-compassion.

In other words, treat yourself with the same kindness you would give to your best friend. When you practice self-compassion, you eliminate negative self-talk and encourage your inner voice to speak to you in a kind and gentle manner.

Also, you practice positive thinking. Look for the bright side when bad things happen or when people treat you unkindly. Maybe they’re jealous of an achievement you made.

Another part of self-compassion is re-framing every negative thing your bullies say to you. For instance, if a bully tells you that you’re no good, you reframe it. How? You do it by telling yourself that the bully is only projecting their own self-hatred onto you.

2. Practice self-care

If you don’t put yourself first, you’ll only end up finishing last. Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential! When you love yourself enough to take care of yourself, you boost your self-esteem and feel better about yourself.

So, how do you practice self-care? There are several ways to do so.

Practicing self-care means setting boundaries and saying no when necessary. It means prioritizing your own needs before those of others. Additionally, practicing self-care means treating yourself occasionally and engaging in activities you enjoy.

When you’re around those who hate you and want to harm you, you must make yourself top priority. And to hell with anyone who doesn’t like it.

3. How to Love Yourself When Everyone Hates You:

Be Yourself

If you continue to be yourself even when others try to change you, you keep your power. On the other hand, when you put on fronts to win approval from others, you only give it away. And you place it in the hands of people who couldn’t care less about you.

So, be yourself and think independently. Stop apologizing for your flaws and learn to embrace them. Start doing what you enjoy. Avoid the people who drain your energy and make you feel bad.

This is how you reclaim control of your life and start living life on your terms.

4. Walk away from toxic people

And be willing to walk away from those you care about if they don’t treat you with the same goodness in return. If they’re toxic family members whom you love, the hardest thing you can do is walk away. I understand that.

Loving yourself means making some tough decisions. Sometimes, you have to walk away from people you love and care about. And you must do it knowing full well that there is always a chance that they may never see your worth.

This means letting go of the outcome. In other words, you must come to the point where you no longer care even the slightest about the results.

However, if it’s a family member, there’s a strong chance that your choosing to walk away may shock the person. Moreover, they may suddenly realize your value and regret having taken you for granted. And they will eventually see your worth and treat you better than you ever thought possible.

It may not happen overnight. In fact, it may take up to several years, but it can happen.

But! If it doesn’t, don’t feel guilty. Realize that you didn’t turn your back because you did not love them. You did it only because they did not love you enough to treat you with the love and respect that you deserve.

5. How to Love Yourself When Everyone Hates You:

Stop caring what other people think

When you care too much about what others think, you make yourself a slave to them. You jump through hoops to prove your worth. You say yes all the time because you won’t have the guts to say no.

Additionally, you may do things you don’t want to do and agree with things that contradict your beliefs. And you sacrifice your time, energy, and resources for people who only take you for granted.

You fall for their lies accept their crappy behavior to avoid conflict. Consequently, others notice, and they only see you as a doormat. Then, they lose respect for you.

So, buck up and stop giving undue value to other people’s opinions. Stop wondering if they like you and start asking yourself if you like them!

Instead of making everything about what others think, start making it about what you think! That’s how you take your power back!

6. Keep a journal or diary

Keeping a daily journal is one of the healthiest things you can do! Moreover, it’s even more critical when you deal with bullies and other people who hate you.

Keeping a journal allows you to document any instances of bullying and aggression. Moreover, it’s the best outlet you have when you have no one to turn to.

7. How to Love Yourself When Everyone Hates You:

Treat Yourself every now and again

There are many ways to treat yourself. For instance, you can go on a trip to the beach. If you’d rather stay home, you can treat yourself to a long soak in the bathtub with bubbles or a bath bomb.

You can even curl up in front of the fireplace and read a good book. However you like to treat yourself, do it. You’ll feel so much better when you do.

8. Take care of your health and hygiene

Taking care of your physical and mental health is of the utmost importance when you’re being bullied by people who hate you. In other words, exercise and eat healthy.

Eating a healthy diet provides the fuel you need to cope with life’s challenges. And when you pair that with exercise, you keep up your stamina.

And here’s another important point about exercise. It releases endorphins, these feel-good hormones that instantly lift your spirits.

Also, you must keep yourself clean. Bath often. Why? Because it helps you relax. You’ll be surprised at how much better you feel after a good bath or shower.

9. How to Love Yourself When Everyone Hates You:

Dress your BEST. 

Taking pride in your appearance is crucial when you’re being bullied. If you look good, you feel good. Therefore, practice good grooming and dressing habits. The better you dress, the better you feel.

And here’s another point I want to make. The way you dress and the style you choose give you a little bit of control over your life. It’s true!

So, continue to dress well. Do not let yourself go! You will be amazed at what this does for your self-esteem.

10. Make Positive Affirmations

To make positive affirmations, create loving ‘I-Am’ statements to yourself every day. For example, look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I am a great person,” “I am smart,” “I am beautiful,” and so on.

This is how you protect your confidence and self-esteem when people mistreat you. And you would be amazed at how much better it makes you feel about yourself!

11. Do the things that make you happy and fill your soul

Indulge in your hobbies. Do the things you enjoy the most. When you’re too busy doing the things you love, you won’t have time to think about your bullies and how they treat you.

In other words, you won’t dwell on their abuse and feel sorry for yourself. Self-pity is the killer of confidence. Therefore, do the things you love most, and you’ll keep your confidence from spiraling downward.

12. How to Love Yourself When Everyone Hates You:

See through their hatred of you.

Realize that their hatred hurts them more than it does you. Hate will fool you. Why? Because when a person hates someone, the person they hate either doesn’t know about it or they don’t care.

Therefore, realize that your bullies’ hatred of you is fruitless. It isn’t getting them anywhere. The only thing it does is rot out their very souls.

While they’re burning with their hatred of you, you’re going about your business and living your life. Even worse for them, you’re living your life in peace. You’re doing the things you enjoy and taking care of yourself.

Therefore, your bullies are wasting their time and energy hating on you. Moreover, they only cause themselves misery.

So, let them hate.

In Conclusion:

One of the hardest things to do is to love yourself when everyone hates you. However, you must love yourself or nobody will love you. Never look outside of yourself for love and validation. Never depend on others to validate you. Let love come from within!

That means loving yourself enough to know when it’s time to let go. It also means doing everything you can to take care of yourself and maintain your happiness and fulfillment.

This post was all about how to love yourself when everyone hates you so that you can be more resilient and resistant to the attacks of bullies.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Loving Yourself First: 7 Amazing Benefits of Treating Yourself Well 

2. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

3. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You

4. When You Stop Caring: 9 Positive Results You’ll See

5. What Bullies Hate Most: 9 Things Bullies Despise

letter to a bullied girl in school

Letter to a Bullied Girl

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Here is a letter to a bullied girl. It is a letter that I wrote to my teenage self several years ago. However, this is a letter to everyone who is bullied. I would be grateful if you could read it as well, so that it will encourage you and give you hope.

letter to a bullied girl

Being bullied is the fight of your life. It is the kind of stress that no one, adult or child, deserves, and only those with the most determination survive.

Therefore, in this post, you will read a letter to a bullied girl, so that you can find the courage and hope you need to keep pushing forward.

Once you have read this letter, you will be encouraged to persevere even when you want to give up. And you will be more likely to find the determination you need to stick with it and eventually overcome.

This post is a letter to a bullied girl, so that you feel empowered to stand firm, put yourself first, and show yourself the compassion you need. 

Letter to a Bullied Girl

I know it’s tough. But sometimes you must first live with what you hate before you can move on to what you love. You must weather the storm before you can see sunlight. Understand that only when we’ve been through hell do we appreciate heaven so much more.

Although your mind tells you that there’s something wrong with you, it says that it’s your fault and that you must be doing something to rub these people the wrong way. Your heart tells you differently.

Your heart tells you that you did nothing wrong. It suggests that your classmates dislike themselves and are projecting their negative energy onto you.

However, this war between your mind and your heart leaves you exhausted.

You’re tired of fighting. I get that.

You’re tired of all the drama that surrounds you and wants to overwhelm you. I understand because I’ve been there. However, no matter how tough things get, I see that small glimmer of hope in your eyes. Please don’t lose it.

Although you carry an enormous amount of pain, you’re still holding on, taking it one day at a time. Keep it up! Keep loving yourself and continue to forge your path, regardless of how others may treat you.

And please don’t hate your classmates. Instead, feel sorry for them- take pity on them. Because their lives aren’t as perfect as they let on, believe it or not, your classmates are hurting too.

Letter to a Bullied Girl:

Hurt people hurt people.

They have mental problems of their own that they never confessed to or got help for. Only they’ll never tell you about it in this lifetime.

Understand that they’re only keeping up appearances, which is such hard work. And they’re angry at you because you don’t have to work as hard as they do.

Realize that many of them are abused at home. Some have parents who are into prostitution, drugs, and alcohol. Others hear their parents fighting all the time.

Many of them are also dirt poor, surviving on welfare.  And they’re ashamed of it! Many of your peers have home lives you couldn’t imagine! School is their happy place.

Open your eyes and see that your home life is better than that of many kids your age. Be thankful for it. Your home is a sanctuary compared to most.

And they’re also scared. Bystanders are scared of becoming just like you- a target! Therefore, they feel compelled to join in the bullying.

But understand that all this makes them cowards, and again, they’re to be pitied, not hated.

You don’t yet realize how strong, brave, and resilient you are. But you are. You are all those things simply because you haven’t dropped out of school, unlike many of your peers. You haven’t quit the race! And you haven’t given up on life!

You don’t realize your own strength.

You expect to be bombarded with a barrage of taunts and insults, or worse, physically attacked once you pass through the school entrance. However, you still gather the courage to get up every morning and go to school. And you do it scared!

So, who are the weak ones now?

They may have favor with most of the teachers. And many of those teachers have little hope for you. However, most of them will never leave this town.

This is a small town- only a dot on the map. In a small town, it doesn’t take much effort or very long to maximize one’s potential.

Even though you feel so small and insignificant, understand that each of your bullies feel the same way you do. And the only way they can feel big and powerful is to make you feel bad.

Letter to a Bullied Girl:

One day, you’re going to see just how they end up.

Only a few will make it. The rest will be living in loveless and abusive marriages. Many will be poor and wondering how they’ll pay the rent. Some will join gangs or begin slinging dope.

Several of your bullies will immerse themselves in drugs and alcohol to cope with their failures in life. A good portion of them will end up behind bars. And many will have kids who disrespect and hurt them.

Most of your classmates will be on a desperate and never-ending search for love. They will go through numerous divorces and broken relationships. And the sad thing is that they’ll never learn to fall in love with themselves and with life first.

They’ll be on an endless quest for happiness and never realize that happiness comes from within themselves.

You want to fix it so badly, but you don’t know what’s broken.

You’ll laugh at me when I tell you what I’m about to say to you. You’ll probably tell me I’m nuts and that I don’t know what I’m talking about. But I’m going to tell you anyway.

There’s nothing wrong with you. Your classmates are the ones with the issues! They are the ones who are mentally imbalanced. And to keep everyone from figuring it out, they put it all on you.

I want you to know that you pose a significant threat to them. That’s right. You are a threat to your bullies. Do you know why?

It’s because you’re smart. You’re smart enough to see right through them, and they know it. They also hate it!

You are a beautiful girl! You’re also talented. You can sing, for crying out loud! Your classmates know you can sing, and they’re jealous of your beautiful voice.

They’re afraid that you’ll expose the bullying and let all their skeletons out of the closet. Why do you think they shout you down and tell you to “shut up” every time you start to open your mouth?

And why do you think they scream at you and tell you to sit down every time you get up to so much as sharpen a pencil or turn in homework?

But they’re very much afraid that you’ll humiliate them. Therefore, they keep you from speaking up.

Letter to a Bullied Girl:

Your very presence terrifies their demons.

They hate it when you write. But understand that they’re afraid you might be writing about them and their cruelty. Isn’t that why they had your journal taken?

But know this. You have so much potential. Only you don’t realize it yet. Why? Because they have programmed you to think that you’re no good. And they’ve brainwashed you into thinking that you’ll never amount to anything.

I know that sometimes you want to die. But if you keep living.  I promise that things will get better- much better! You’re going to accomplish things you never thought you would. You will end up surprising yourself!

Although you think this is a load of feel-good garbage now, the truth is that your classmates bully you to keep you down. Why? Because they fear that if you ever rise, you’ll cause them to fade into the background.

You feel you have nowhere to go to find peace.

I realize that your home life isn’t so hot either. Your father doesn’t believe in you and treats you more like a stepchild than a child. He acts like you’re not one of his.

But understand that he’s battling demons of his own.

You’re anxious for your mother to remarry so you’ll have a replacement dad. I see that you dream of having a stepdad who’ll legally adopt you as his own. But honey, no one else will ever replace your daddy, and someday, you’re going to realize it.

It seems that you and Mom don’t see eye to eye. And the easiest way to avoid any fights is to stay in your room. You want to keep it in a safe place, where you can write and get lost in the music you play so loudly.

You feel like she’s ashamed of you and wishes she had a different child. She isn’t, and she doesn’t.

She loves you very much, and the bullying you suffer hurts her too. Know that she’s on your side. Only she’s at a loss as to what to do about it.

And you’re going to find out later that if you open your heart to her and talk, even cry to her, she’ll listen while she holds you. Then, you’ll grow closer than ever before.

Every kid goes through times when they’re at odds with their parents. And I’ll go back to a point I made earlier- your home life is a lot better than most.

Letter to a Bullied Girl:

You’re withdrawn.

You’ve closed yourself off to people. You’re scared to talk to people because you’re afraid they’ll make fun of anything you have to say. You have so much you want to say to your classmates, but you’re scared of what they might do to you. Take the risk anyway.

Open your heart to people. Laugh and have fun with them. I promise you that they just might see your golden heart and love you for it.

School is worse than anything. Inside, you want to laugh, you want to sing, and you want to dance. However, you’re afraid. Rest assured that one day, you’ll have the courage to let yourself do and be.

What you’re going through now is only temporary.

It won’t always be this way.

People won’t always bully you. And your classmates won’t always be in your life.

Your stomach won’t always be in knots, and you won’t always be running to the bathroom and throwing up because of the intense stress. Moreover, you won’t always have to wonder when some snake at school is going to attack you in the halls or the girls’ room.

You look in the mirror and try different outfits, makeup tricks, and hairstyles. Why? Because you think that if you make yourself more attractive than you already are, the bullying will go away.  That will soon end, too.

Letter to a Bullied Girl:

You’ll no longer wonder if you’re good enough.

The constant worrying that you’re not good enough and worthy of love? This will go away as well. The consistent question of whether you’ll ever be allowed to be yourself and relax will pass.

The worry that you might never have true friends – friends who will love you for being you, stick up for you, and take care of you? Friends, you don’t have to explain yourself to? In a few years, none of it will even be an issue.

Trust me. There will come a day when you won’t have the fake friends you have in school. And when that day arrives, you will have real friends. People who will love you for all that you are and all the beauty you bring to this world!

There will come a day when you’ll have the courage to walk away from toxic people. You will have the courage to let go of those who are no good for you. And you won’t be afraid to stand alone until better people find you.

The bullying you endure now won’t even matter anymore.

There will come a day when you’ll be so confident and secure in yourself that the cruel words of others will no longer matter. The time will come when you’ll have a family of your own and friends who’ll love you for you.

Letter to a Bullied Girl:

People will no longer only tolerate you. They’ll celebrate you!

Your courage is astounding! And each rejection, each bad name, each cruel taunt hurled; each punch, each kick, shove, and blow to your body will piss you off a little more, and a little more. But that anger will give you the dogged determination to tune out the naysayers, follow your dreams, and reach success!

Each incident of bullying is only preparing you for what you’re meant to do later. It’s preparing you for a rewarding and prosperous future.

Each blow you take – each bruise, each disappointment, each humiliation, each pull of your hair, and each tear you cry is only making you better. It’s making you the woman you’re meant to become —a more compassionate, empathetic, stronger, and wiser person.

Your loneliness now will be a source of appreciation for the circle of friends and abundance of love you’ll have later. Naivete will become wisdom.

Your persecution will become your launchpad. And your bullies, your motivation.

I know it hurts. It hurts terribly! But the pain you suffer today will be the power you enjoy tomorrow!

This post was a letter to a bullied girl to help encourage you to keep going when things are at their worst. Also, it’s to give you determination, hope, and courage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Open Letter to Bullies: From One who Overcame

2. Having the Courage to be Disliked: 7 Reasons to be Okay with It

3. There’s Always Hope: 11 Things to Remember When People Bully You

4. Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out: 11 Must-Know Facts about Bullies 

causes of bullying at work

Causes of Bullying: 9 Proven Factors That Trigger Bullying

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‘Want to know the causes of bullying so that you can feel better about yourself, knowing that it isn’t you who provokes it? As someone who was on the receiving end of it years ago, I’m giving you the proven triggers of bullying that you need to know about.

causes of bullying

Bullying can cause victims to ask themselves questions such as, “What am I doing wrong?” If this is you, know that you aren’t to blame for someone else’s attacks against you.

In this post, you will learn the exact causes of bullying so that you can sleep easily knowing that you did nothing wrong.

Once you learn about all these triggers that bring about bullying, you will finally be guilt-free and at ease. Even better, you will be able to stand up to your bullies confidently and refuse to accept blame for their monstrous actions.

This post is all about the causes of bullying so that you can live without guilt and boldly stand up to bullies who make these accusations.

Causes of Bullying

There are many causes of bullying. However, what I’m about to mention is one. Bullies bully because they have fragile but overinflated egos. Believe it or not, the ego is a huge factor in bullying- perhaps the biggest.

1. Ego.

We all have egos. However, most of us know how to handle them. Bullies, on the other hand, do not.

Bullies will often bully you anytime they see you get recognition for an achievement. This is because bullies interpret any praise you receive from others as a massive blow to their ego.

When you achieve success in something, bullies start thinking about their own accomplishments (or lack thereof). They then begin comparing them to yours. Once they do that and feel that your wins outmatch theirs, they become highly jealous of you.

Bullies become absorbed in how your success reflects on them. Moreover, they personalize it. To them, it feels like you are an adversary competing for the same award.

Because of the bullies’ exaggerated self-focus, they become angry and want to attack you for being so fortunate.

2. Jealousy

They compare themselves to you according to their own egocentric views.

They fear that others will consider them less important than you. Think about it. You are “supposed to be” inferior to them. Yet, you are the one who’s scoring all the achievements. You are the one getting all of the praise and glory. Ouch!

Your bullies see you getting more attention than they are. All this combined only infuriates them. But, there’s a reason it enrages them so much. It’s because your success directly contradicts their belief that you are inferior.

Bullies absolutely despise being shown up. As such, they feel a sense of injustice whenever you achieve success and receive recognition for it.

If you’re a target of bullying and a high achiever, you’ll often hear one or more of these statements.

Causes of Bullying:

“You think you’re better than mE.”

This remark is a dead giveaway, given the context. What this suggests is that they’re afraid you’re better than they are. In fact, it scares them to death!

You think you’re this and you think you’re that. These kinds of statements only come from fear and a bruised ego.

Making such bold statements tells you that your bullies fear what you might think of them.  So, your bullies are trying to project that onto you. They act as if they know what you are thinking of them.

Bullies claim to be mind readers. And what’s so bad is that they presume the worst of you without any evidence to back it up.

The bullies then have an urgent need to attack you. Why?  Because they feel that you slighted them simply by being successful and making achievements.

But see this for what it is! Your bullies are jealous. They’re envious of anyone who outshines them somehow.

3. Self-Servitude

Bullies are self-serving. This is the reason why they get their egos involved in the first place.  Any form of bullying is always about the bully; it’s never about you. They’re only using you as a dumping group for all their mental issues.

Understand that it’s about their mental health issues. It’s about their feelings of inferiority. It’s about their insecurities. Also, it’s about their incompetence. And it’s about their ignorance.

There’s nothing about you that needs examining. It’s about their lack of intelligence, their cowardice, and their jealousy.

It’s about their false bravado, their over-inflated sense of importance, and their fragile egos. They are the pathetic ones, not you!

Remember that your bullies see you as a threat. They’re afraid you’ll expose their weaknesses and shortcomings. They’re worried your talents and gifts will outshine theirs. In their efforts to make you feel inferior, they only make themselves more inferior.

4. Causes of Bullying:

Low Self-Esteem

Bullies have low self-esteem. And they often project their self-esteem issues onto others.

They also hold unrealistic, negative views of your morals. All the while, they think that their morals are superior to yours. Bullies will also end friendships with friends, even lifelong friends, who dare to have positive associations with you.

Many bullies love to virtue signal and trumpet their moral superiority. And they do it especially while comparing it to yours. Many bullies become social justice warriors and moral crusaders. But they only do this for show.

“Look at me. Look at all the good I’m doing for the world! I’m not a bully, I’m standing up for the downtrodden!”

5. The quest for power

Bullies will deliberately bring up offensive topics and attack others. They’ll especially attack you over your differences in values. They’ll shame you for your convictions and opinions.

Realize that moral superiority feels good- it’s empowering. Virtue signaling and moral crusading are often driven by low self-esteem and a desire to prove oneself.

Again, the unwritten message is, “Hey! Look at me! I’m fighting for justice, so I’m not such a bad person after all!” Bullies will say that the world sucks and needs to be changed.

And they’ll do it to send the message that they’re better than everyone else. In thinking that they’re better than everyone else, bullies get to avoid feeling so crappy about themselves.

6. Causes of Bullying:

Hypocrisy

Bullies can violate rules and laws because they think they’re exempt from them. However, if they ever see you do it, they’re quick to call you out and crucify you for it.

Bullies think that they can do any damn thing they want but nobody else should have that luxury. It’s an example of the self-entitlement and privilege these people think they have the right to bestow on themselves.

Bullies have highly needy egos, and the ego is the source of bullying, abuse, meanness, and hatred. They hate and want to hurt you because you are the antithesis of them.

7. The need for someone to take down

Bullies want to destroy you because they think that they will feel better afterwards. However, we know that they would only feel better for a little while. Then they would need to search for another victim.

Remember that Alexander the Great wept because there were no more worlds to conquer. In other words, he could no longer find a conquest. That’s what you are to your bullies, a conquest!

Therefore, once you are no longer available, your bullies will search for another victim. And if they can’t find one, they won’t know what to do with themselves.

Understand that bullies are psychop@ths. They love only themselves and have no regard for anyone else. Any morality and ethics they claim to have are only a mirage. And they hate anyone who dares not agree with their grandiose views of themselves.

Bullies are masters at faking the good guys. They lie without a conscience, saying anything they think will make them look good in the eyes of others.

8. Causes of bullying:

The need to look big

Bullies try to look intelligent, and it may work for a little while. However, they eventually end up doing or saying something to reveal their stupidity.

Bullies will flip-flop, saying one thing now, then saying the opposite later. And they do it thinking (or hoping like the devil) that others have forgotten what they said the first time.

And when you dare to call them out on their BS, they will throw a real monster of a tantrum. Moreover, they will attack you to try and shut you up.

9. The craving for admiration

Bullies are in constant need of praise. They expect people to uplift their egos and put them on a pedestal.

Bullies are simply hate-filled individuals who put on a farce of being good, upstanding people to win admiration, and with it, raw power.

Causes of Bullying:

In Closing

When you learn the tactics of these ego-driven creeps, only then will you be able to take back your power and send them packing!

So, I want you to know that if you ever find yourself in this kind of predicament, know that you did nothing wrong. Also, realize that it isn’t about you.

It’s about your bullies, their insecurities, and their own shattered egos. They are the ones with the issues. You, on the other hand, are a winner, and you are on the side of truth and right. Always remember that! So, stay confident and keep winning!

This post is all about the causes of bullying so that you will feel more confident just knowing that you don’t have to resort to your bullies’ kind of behavior to get through life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims? Here are Your Answers.

2. Jealousy and Bullying: 7 Proven Signs Your Bullies are Jealous

3. Confident Body Language: 11 Ways to Look Confident 

bullying and the fight or flight response system

Bullying and the Fight-or-Flight Response

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‘Want to know all about bullying and the fight or flight response? Here’s all the information you need to know.

bullying and the fight or flight response

When you suffer bullying, you automatically go into fight or flight mode.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying and the fight-or-flight response so that you can use this as cause when you defend yourself from bullying.

Once you learn all about this crucial information, you will be able to speak on your own behalf when you are called to the principal’s office or charged by police after a fight with a bully.

This post is all about bullying and the fight-or-flight response, so that you can have a good reason to defend yourself against any bully who corners you and attacks you.

Bullying and the Fight-or-Flight Response

Bullying and the fight-or-flight response go hand in hand.

According to the Psychology Tools website, “The fight or flight response is an automatic physiological reaction to an event that is perceived as stressful or frightening.

The perception of threat activates the sympathetic nervous system. It triggers an acute stress response that prepares the body to fight or flee. These responses are evolutionary adaptations to increase chances of survival in threatening situations.”

Any time bullies target a person with relentless bullying at work or school over an extended period of time, they force that person into a constant state of high alert. Although useful in short, immediate circumstances, this hyper-vigilance is unhealthy if the person remains in this state for too long. As a result, it causes stomach issues, headaches, and fatigue, among many other ailments.

Even worse, facing continuous danger can also cause the person to overreact in response to certain occurrences.

The Fight or Flight Response is Innate. Every Creature on earth has it.

Every living creature has an innate and perfectly natural physiological reaction in the event of a threat or attack. Called the Fight or Flight Response, it protects us from harm in dangerous situations.

And it does so by releasing adrenaline. When adrenaline is released into the blood, it’s nearly impossible not to do either of two things: fight or flee.

When others are consistently bullying and abusing you, escape is usually not an option. Your bullies will corner and surround you.

With flight cut off as an option, what do you have left? Fight! Long-term bullying can cause a person to live on this adrenaline every day, all day long.

All your aggressors have to do is come around you, and they can put your body and mind on constant alert. It’s a horrible way to live.

Getting on the school bus and walking through the school’s entrance can feel like a death march. Moreover, horrible headaches and violent nausea will plague you.

You may shake uncontrollably, and your palms may sweat. Also, you may feel a lump in your throat. All of these are signs of being in fight-or-flight mode.

For example, you may feel that lump in your throat when your bully boss calls you into his office. Or, you may even feel nauseated. If you’re in school and your bullies come near you, you may begin to shake uncontrollably.

Again, it’s only adrenaline pumping through you, preparing you for a possible fight.

Bullying and the fight-or-flight response:

You live in a constant state of survival mode.

Even teachers can join the other kids against you once they hear enough rumors and falsehoods that bullies spread about you. This can place you in a very lonely and heartbreaking position.

As time passes, the fear of going to school or work and facing your bullies grows. It’s like an infected tumor that grows bigger with each passing day. Your stomach draws up every morning when you walk out of your house.

The next eight hours are like walking through a minefield. You never know when your next step could be your last. Others begin bombarding you with a torrent of taunts, insults, and names. Or, they may start hitting, kicking, and shoving you.

It is a situation that seems endless, and to say you are afraid is an understatement. You are petrified.

Unless you have experienced it firsthand, you can’t imagine the fear. Also, there are health consequences of living in a perpetual state of fight or flight. The impact on your physical health may not be immediately apparent. However, it may rear its ugly head later in life.

But this doesn’t only happen in school; it also occurs in the workplace. What people once believed only happened to children and teens also happens to adults in the workplace. Bullying knows no age group.

superiors usually blame you for defending yourself.

You may get into serious trouble when the bullying finally escalates and becomes physical. Every day, school staff unjustly suspend or expel innocent students for defending themselves against unjust actions.  Moreover, managers in the workplace often terminate innocent employees for trying to protect themselves.

Bullying and the Fight-or-Flight Response:

But why do they usually punish you for self-defense?

It’s because bullies are talented at charming superiors and making them like them. They lie convincingly and make you look like the bad guy. Therefore, the higher-ups may punish you for nothing more than trying to protect yourself.

If, on the off chance, they do punish your bullies, they usually give them a mild reprimand. However, most bullies escape with impunity. This is because others typically side with the bullies, and you have no support whatsoever!

Just like all God’s creatures, you have this fight-or-flight instinct. And you have the right to defend yourself if you can’t run from an attack.

And when bullies are attacking you left and right, it’s up to you to take care of yourself. You cannot just stand there and let these creeps beat the living daylights out of you. You must fight back to keep from getting hurt!

Even animals have the fight-or-flight instinct.

For example, you corner a dog and kick it. And you keep kicking it. Sooner or later, that dog is going to bite you! It’s all a part of nature. Humans also have the right to self-defense.

People can’t expect you to roll over and let bullies have their way with you. They should expect you to fight back if you can’t run.

Bullying and the Human Stress Response go hand in hand. Why? Because bullying automatically activates this response in targets. Whenever bullies accost you, your body instinctively goes into survival mode.

Therefore, the automatic response is either to fight or flee. But what happens when your body stays in that state due to long-term bullying?

Bullying and the Fight-or-Flight Response:

the sympathetic nervous system.

According to the Cleveland Clinic website, “Your sympathetic nervous system is a network of nerves that helps your body activate its fight-or-flight response. This system’s activity increases when you’re stressed, in danger, or physically active.

Its effects include increasing your heart rate and breathing ability. It also improves your eyesight and slows down processes like digestion.

After so long, bullying can screw up your Sympathetic Nervous System. It can cause you confusion and emotional numbness.

Moreover, the constant bullying puts the fight-or-flight response into overdrive. After bullies have bullied you for so long, adverse changes in the victim’s brain begin to occur. Your brain rewires itself to prepare for a hostile environment.

You come to expect threats. Your first instinct is flight. If flight isn’t possible, then you go into fight mode. When this happens, the logical brain shuts down and the primal brain takes over.

And when that part of your brain is turned on all the time, your mind starts to decline.

what long-term bullying does to mental health

Long-term bullying affects your decision-making and emotional control the most. Why? Because your mind is in a constant state of survival mode.

Moreover, you lose your cognitive abilities, ability to control emotions, and ability to think clearly and rationally. Once this happens, it will blind you to any alternatives to your situation.

This is why you will often snap and do irrational things when the pressure of bullying builds to the breaking point. And, because children’s brains are still developing, kids stand a higher chance of damage to the mind and the sympathetic nervous system.

Bullying and the Fight-or-Flight Response:

People cannot thrive in a bullying environment.

Relentless bullying can cause a child or teen to lose the ability to discern and make choices to get them to safety due to their brain’s negative changes. Look up Pavlov’s dogs and you’ll see what I mean.

If this is happening to you at work, you must find a way to leave the toxic environment and find employment elsewhere. If you’re a parent and you know your child is being bullied, you must help them transfer.

A new learning environment will help their minds begin to heal and restore their ability to make good decisions. Moreover, their cognitive and reasoning abilities will also improve.

Remember that a plant cannot thrive in a climate of no sunlight or water. And neither can human beings grow in a hostile environment of bullying and abuse.

This post was all about bullying and the fight-or-flight response, so that you can use it to justify self-defense. This post will also help you to recognize when it’s time to TRANSFER YOUR CHILD, IF you are a parent of a bullied child.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Self-Preservation Instinct: Defending Yourself from Bullies is Okay!

2. Fight Flight Freeze Fawn: 4 Stress Responses of Bullying Victims

3. The Bullied Brain: 7 Ways Bullying Effects Mental Health

4. Bullying Survival Mode: 5 Things Victims of Bullying Do Wrong

tearing the mask off the bully at work

Tearing the Mask off the Bully: 3 Tools That Build Their Facade

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Tearing the mask off the bully isn’t easy. Therefore, do you want to know the real people behind the fake facades bullies put up? Here are all the details you need to know.

tearing the mask off the bully

The reality for many victims of bullying is that they seem to be the only person in the world who knows the real people behind the masks their bullies wear.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to tear the mask of the bully so that you can not only expose them for the creeps they are, but also preserve your good name and ensure your safety.

Once you learn all about this game-changing information, you will be able to easily expose bullies who try to play victim and use charm to fool others.

This post is all about tearing the mask off the bully so that you can expose your bullies and ensure your safety.

Tearing the mask of the bully

Realizing the truth about your bully is not always easy. Sadly, it seems that the more fake a person appears to be, the more others adore them. On the other hand, the more real a person is, the more others hate them.

The reason for this is that the truth scares most folks. The truth is uncomfortable, even painful. As the old quote goes, “It’s much easier to fool others than to convince them that they’ve been fooled.”

Bullies have a way of using seductive charm and drawing others to them. They have a knack for making others like, even love them. These individuals are exceptionally skilled at forming connections with everyone.

Bullies will agree with everyone on anything and tell others what they want to hear. They say all the right things at the right times. They’re the best actors in the business, and sometimes it’s hard to see the snake behind the charm.

This is how workplace bullies get promoted in the workplace. It’s how school bullies become the teacher’s pets and the school’s sacred cows. It’s how bullies are liked and yes, even loved by unsuspecting others.

Bullies Thrive on Deception

It’s frustrating, isn’t it? When you know a person is fake, yet others think they’re the best thing since sliced bread?

The person is evil, manipulative, and lies without a conscience, yet nobody knows it but you. Why? Because you’re the only one who sees that side of them.

You notice the real person behind the facade of charisma, smiles, and waves. Plain as day, you watch them take pleasure in hurting others and ruining lives. At the same time, these bullies have a talent for sucking everyone else in by their fakery.

For example, A high school bully boy beats up a smaller kid on the ball field. As a result, all the girls who watch from the bleachers love him for it.

Or, maybe the bully gropes an innocent girl in the hallway. And he does it, knowing that she clearly does not want them touching her.

But, sadly, the female admirers who hang with them only laugh and signal approval. After all, the girl the creep groped is “a slut who was asking for it.” Right?

You can almost see what they’re thinking as you watch their eyes and their body language.

“Wow! What a man!”

Tearing the mask off the bully:

Bullies can don their masks but Can’t Survive Without Putting Someone Else Down

Take, for instance, the workplace bully. She seems so in control, so smart, and so attractive when she’s berating another employee for a minor mistake. Or, maybe she’s attacking another, more talented person to undermine their abilities.

These are the type of folks who are blind to their own selfishness. They tell lie after lie and ruin life after life.

They lack consideration for others and aren’t responsible for their own screw-ups. However, they have no qualms about pointing out the mistakes and imperfections of others.  Additionally, they have no problem projecting their issues onto someone else.

What’s even more baffling is that you’d think that once this creep dumps on enough people, others would begin to see through their smokescreens. However!

Au contraire! Some of them keep going back after being dumped on, only to have the bully rub it in. It’s enough to make you sick.

The Idiocy of The Bully’s Followers

You may try to warn others about the real person behind the facade. Also, you may defend yourself when they attack you, but others take their word and their side over yours.

Moreover, you hear others talk, saying what a fine, upstanding person the bully is. Furthermore, they don’t know the person. You and only a few others know. Therefore, it’s hard to bite your tongue when you hear it.

The bully can be so horribly evil that if he stood side by side with the devil himself, you’d have a hard time distinguishing between the two. Furthermore, this person puts on the pathetic but convincing act of being bullied when they’re the ones doing the bullying.

It’s amazing how easily the people around you are fooled! But realize that not only the bully, but the weak and gullible followers who enable the bully, need professional help.

Tearing the mask of the bully:

Those Who Surround the Bully are Followers, Nothing More.

Understand that these bullies are toxic souls and wastes of space. They’re the people who struggle to maintain a relationship. Eventually, these bullies get a little too prideful, a little too bold…then they get sloppy!

They screw up somehow, the mask falls off, and finally! Everyone sees their true colors!

I’ve seen this happen, and I won’t lie to you. It gave me a sense of justice, and I was ecstatic when I watched them fall. Karma is a booger!

3 Ingredients Bullies Use to Build Their Image of Perfection

We all know that bullies are cowards who hide behind a facade. But what makes that facade? What are the exact ingredients that make up the bully’s facade?

Bullies are like peacocks. They like to strut around and fan out their tails, displaying their most vibrant colors.

And they do this to collect admirers, followers, and allies. That’s exactly what the bully’s facade is used for. And bullies are skilled at deceiving their peers into believing that they’re perfect and untouchable.

Only you know what’s behind the masks. Victims know the real personalities these masks hide. So, again, what exactly are the ingredients that bullies use to build their carefully crafted facades and promote those fake images?

1. Tearing the Mask off the Bully:

Impeccable Attire.

Most seasoned and well-practiced bullies dress in the best and latest fashions. These creeps love to be pleasing to the eyes.

Why? Because they understand that most humans are materialistic and obsessed with beauty. They also understand that everything is based on appearances.

So, they wear the fanciest clothes, the trendiest hairstyles, and the sexiest makeup.

They showcase these things to present themselves in the best possible light. Moreover, they give the impression that they’re rolling in money and have the perfect life, all to impress others. Most of all, bullies do it to make themselves appear better than others.

Many of them don’t have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out. Not that being poor makes a person bad, but!

Most bullies will go flat broke buying fancy clothes and sporty cars to pimp around town in to keep up a fake persona. And they’ll be up to their eyeballs in debt.

As a result, many of these types constantly struggle to pay or fail to pay their bills.

They’re the types who will run to mommy and daddy for bailouts and handouts. Yet they continue to spend a fortune on clothes, hairstyles, manicures, pedicures, facials, cosmetic surgeries, and more.

Facades are challenging to maintain.

Many workplace bullies have committed crimes such as theft, embezzlement, and forgery. All because they lived way beyond their means. They got their butts in a crack they couldn’t get out of. And they got caught!

2. Tearing the mask off the Bully:

They put on a good show.

Seasoned bullies are also the best showmen. They put on an act to gain admiration, support, or sympathy.

They make grand gestures. They’re skilled at reading people and determining their likes and dislikes, as well as deciphering how they react to various stimuli. They are fully aware of the people and moods around them and adapt to them.

You’ll often find these bullies standing in the very center of the rooms they’re in. Also, they’re the types who despise being outshone, outsmarted, or outdone.

3. Bullies are master wordsmiths.

They use clichés, euphemisms, and loaded words to impress others with their speech. They also use big words to prove how smart they are when, in reality, they’re as incompetent as they come.

And they tell others what they want to hear and say everything with conviction. This is why bullies are such convincing liars and so good at making you look like the bad guy.

But here’s something else you need to know.

Although seasoned bullies are very popular among people, they’re also hated and feared by rivals and enemies. And they do eventually get brought down. I’ve seen it happen many times.

Julius Caesar was one such example.

“Caesar had his Brutus and Charles I, his Cromwell…” – Patrick Henry.

Abraham Lincoln quoted, “You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time. But you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.”

You can easily outsmart and expose bullies. It just takes strategy.

Eventually, the masks fall off and facades crack. Facades and just those. Facades! And no matter how much the bully may play the victim and put on fronts, others eventually find them out!

This post was all about tearing the mask off the bully to assure you that bullies always end up being discovered for who they are.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullies and Victim-Mentality: 9 Behaviors of Bullies Who Play Victim

2. How to Outsmart a Bully: 1 Proven Strategy.

3.  How to Outsmart Bullies: 4 Unconventional Ways to Do So

4. 7 Secrets to Instantly Expose Bullies

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Mobbing in Schools: 9 Warning Signs Bullying is Out of Control

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The subject of workplace mobbing is common but we barely hear or read about mobbing in schools. Sadly, it happens a lot more than we know. If you want to know the warning signs that bullying at school has progressed to mobbing, read further.

mobbing in schools

Bullying can become chronic when the bullying has gone on over time.  Also, it tends to escalate until it reaches to dangerous levels and epic proportions.

In this post, you will learn about mobbing in schools and all the warning signs that the bullying you suffer at school has gotten out of control.

Once you learn about all these symptoms, you will know that you’re, in fact, being mobbed. Also, you will better be able to make the right decisions and take the right steps to ensure your safety.

This post is all about mobbing in schools so that you can understand what’s happening to you and take the appropriate measures to protect yourself from further harm.

mobbing in schools

Before we get into the warning signs, let’s further explain this type of bullying so that you can get a better understanding of what you or someone you know is dealing with.

Chronic Bullying (bullying that has lasted for over a year) has a strong chance of progressing to mobbing. Several people have described mobbing as bullying on steroids.

Bullying becomes mobbing once bullies have skyrocketed the torment and begun pursuing their targets obsessively and non-stop. Moreover, you bullies’ behavior has gone ignored and unaddressed by authority.

As a result, your bullies have now become so brazen that their actions have grown in strength, frequency, and cruelty over several years.

Now, it seems that everyone is bullying you for everything. Furthermore, the apathy they hold has grown such that the only feelings they have for you are fury and blind hatred.

In other words, the entire student body, even several teachers lose all humanity toward you.

The prevailing attitude is that anything they do to you, no matter how cruel or how dangerous is a good thing. Why? Because, in their minds, you have no value as a human being, and you life is worth nothing.

mobbing in schools: the entire student body, even several teachers lose all humanity toward you.

People who bully to these extremes usually have tons of followers and minions backing them. And they enlist members of their following to do their dirty work. It is when the bullying becomes so significant, so ingrained, and so severe that it seemingly takes on a life of its own.

The bullies and the vast majority of the school are seemingly drunk on hate. Moreover, the bullying and torment of you seem to be all they can focus on.

Instead of the bullies (and virtually everyone else) controlling their evil emotions and actions, their feelings and actions begin to control them. The alumni are seemingly enslaved by hatred and blinded by senseless rage.

They have become so addicted to power and control that the torture they inflict is constant. Put another way, they can’t get enough of the high this power gives them.

Therefore, realize that, in a case of school mobbing, the bullying has progressed beyond disrespect and ridicule. Moreover, your classmates don’t see you as an equal nor do they see you as a little bit different.

They see you as so worthless that you don’t deserve to breathe the same air as them. In fact, many of them may feel you don’t even deserve to breathe at all!

This is why school mobbing is so dangerous because you run the chance of either breaking and dying by suicide or being murdered by someone at school.

In short, the intense hatred and blind rage of your school mates and a few staff reach levels of derangement!

It seems that everyone at school has become deranged.

Derangement happens when the hatred and outrage toward you reaches a fever pitch. Also, for everyone else, the unwritten rule becomes to believe the lies about you or to act like it. Why? Because their safety depends on it!

To keep from becoming targets themselves, everyone outside the bully/victim relationship must believe the lies without question or without even blinking!

Moreover, they must believe it as long as it’s negative. And the more negative and condemning the rumors, the better and more suiting and convenient.

People will also believe the lies, no matter how ridiculous they may sound. Therefore, anytime you hear lies that sound absolutely and utterly absurd to any rational and sane person, that’s when you know that derangement has taken hold!

In short, if you’re a target of other peoples derangement, you are, in a sense, burned in effigy!

9 Warning signs of mobbing in schools

1. Others seem to jump at the chance to diminish anything positive about you.

If  you do a good deed that is either visible or gets positive recognition, others in the school will only disregard it and make statements such as:

  • “She’s only trying to score brownie points, kiss ass, (etc.).”
  • “Haha! He’s just doing that because he thinks it’s going to get him on everyone’s good side!”

When the target reaches a success, others will only rain on it, saying things like:

  • “Oh, God! Anyone could’ve accomplished that!”
  • “He’s trying to show out! He thinks he’s so special!”
  • “She only did that to make herself look good.”

2. People in the school are open with their brutality against the target.

Bullies, their followers, and any other bystander who wants to join in the mistreatment won’t even try to hide it anymore. Why?

Because they know that those in authority won’t do anything about it. Therefore, staff have insulated them from any accountability.

Any abuse toward you is widely accepted, encouraged, and even celebrated!

Moreover, they know that if anyone even dares to speak out for you or help you, that person will suffer mobbing right along with you.

Therefore, know that when others openly abuse you, it’s gotten to a very dangerous level! You might even wonder what they’re likely to do to you next if they can brutalize you so openly.

3. Warning signs of mobbing in schools. People in the toxic environment are blinded by their own hatred of you.

In other words, schoolmates don’t know why they hate you so intensely. They just do.

If anyone on the outside were to ask them what you did or said to them to make them hate you so much, they either wouldn’t be able to answer them at all. Also, they would throw just any ridiculous answer out there, without having the goods to back it up.

Moreover, they’ll hope to the heavens that the person asking is lazy and won’t press the issue further, or worse- (gasp!) challenge them to provide evidence that you’re such a despicable and deplorable person.

They’ll use ad hominem responses such as:

  • “Because she’s just a bitch and I hate her”
  • “Because I just hate the bitch!”
  • “Because he just rubs me the wrong way!”
  • “Because he’s a jerk and a know-it-all!”

And be prepared for your haters to viciously attack the person asking the questions. Why? Because the person asking the questions poses the threat of making them look like the demonic monsters they are!

4. These people will be intensely angry each time anything positive comes your way.

For example, if you win an award, they may not say it to you, but you’ll see it in their faces and body language. They also may talk through their teeth to one another as their eyes blaze at you.

5. They’ll try to destroy your good mood because they’ll hate the possibility that you might be happy and feel good.

If they see you so much as laugh or crack a smile, here are a few responses you’re likely to hear from them:

  • “What the hell are you laughing about!”
  • “What the @&%# are you smiling about!”
  • “What have you got to be so happy about, bitch!”
  • “Shut up, asshole! You laugh like a hyena!”
  • “I don’t see anything funny!”
  • “I wish she’d wipe that goofy smile off her face!”

6. warning signs of mobbing in schools: Your classmates will shout you down and tell you to shut up, every time you even look like you’re about to open your mouth.

Understand that, in their minds, you don’t deserve to be heard, nor have the right to speak.

7. They’ll all rise against you when you defend yourself.

When you have “the audacity” to stand up to them, they’ll punish you for it.  In other words, once you assert your right not to be abused, they will all gang up on you.

They’ll try to gaslight you into believing you asked for the abuse. Moreover, your schoolmates will smear you to others.

If that doesn’t silence you, the next step is a brutal physical attack. Always! If they can’t bring you down emotionally, they will do it physically and no one will jump in to help you. I’ve seen this happen and have had it happen to me.

8. They will watch you like a hawk.

Understand that they and everyone else in the bullying environment will be watching you very closely- looking for a reason to attack you. In other words, they’ll wait for you to screw up even the tiniest bit!

They will then beat you down with your mistake and never let you hear the end of it.

Realize that these people are only looking for the slightest infraction to maximize and use against you. They will twist, spin, or add to the most trivial thing you do that’s not quite right to make it bigger and more severe.

For example, if you do something as minuscule as knocking over a glass of milk, others will make it into a Federal case and they’ll swear you did it deliberately.

9. warning signs of mobbing in schools: You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

In other words, if they see you talking to a potential date, they’ll swear up and down you’re trying to get laid. But if you happen to be saving yourself for your wedding night, they’ll only call you a prude.

If you take one sip of wine, they’ll call you a sloppy, fall-down drunk. But if you don’t drink, they’ll call you a party-pooper or a stick in the mud. They’ll make statements like, “Well, he just doesn’t know how to have a good time!”

In conclusion

You must realize that when it gets this bad and seems to permeate the whole of the environment, the hatred and contempt for you reaches such a crescendo that it’s has turned into mass mental illness in those around you.

Therefore, at this point, it more than likely won’t get better. It will only get worse until either one of them murders you or forces you to do it yourself.

At this juncture, the best thing you can do for yourself is to run! These people are dangerous and you must get as far away from them and stay away! Keep these schoolmates out of your life because these are people you’ll never be safe around!

 It may or may not be feasible. But find a way to transfer to another school or convince your parents to move to another area. Maybe ask them to allow you to go live with an aunt or uncle in another school district.

The only way you’ll ever find peace is to leave without telling anyone. Only then will you be safe and have peace of mind. Moreover, you will get to start fresh in a new place, where you can finally relax and be yourself.

This post was all about mobbing in schools and signs of it so that you will finally know what to do if you even face that situation.

Related posts you’ll enjoy

1. Bullying by Teachers in School: 7 Steps to Protect Yourself

2. School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids!

3. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

4. Bullies in School: 5 Ways They Tell Off on Themselves Without Realizing It

5. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You