Tag: bullying

unwanted, aggressive behavior among school-aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.

sub-types of bullies and how to deal with them

Sub-types of Bullies: 7 Personalities of Bullies

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Understanding the sub-types of bullies is crucial. It’s not just about knowing there are types of bullies, but also recognizing the sub-types. Here’s everything you need to know to protect yourself.

sub-types of bullies

Types of bullies include physical bullies, verbal bullies, cyberbullies, social bullies, and so on. With sub-types, we go deeper.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about all the sub-types of bullies so that you can easily identify them when they come for you.

Once you learn all about these categories of bullies, you will be better equipped to defend yourself from bullying and ensure your safety.

This post is all about the sub-types of bullies so that you know who they are and can better protect yourself.

Sub-types of Bullies

Bullies come in different kinds. You can never assume how your bullies will react, as different people respond to other things in various ways.

Speak out against and expose some bullies, and they might leave you alone. Talk about others, and they’ll go to the ends of the earth to get back at you.

Therefore, you must tailor your defense strategies to the particular bully you’re dealing with. To do this, you must be able to distinguish the blowhards from the truly vindictive.

You must differentiate between the smart and the foolish. You must also separate the aggressive and the passive-aggressive.

Never deal blindly with bullies. Why? Because if you handle them willy-nilly, you’ll be at their mercy. And they’ll toss you around like a tornado tosses debris.

To successfully combat bullying, it is essential to recognize the various personality types. Otherwise, you won’t survive.

Here are all the personality types (sub-types) of bullies you likely deal with.

1. Bullies with Narcissism

They may try to hide it. However, their self-importance gives them away. They have excessive pride and an overly inflated sense of entitlement.

All this combined makes them dangerous. They believe they are beyond reproach. Therefore, if they think for a moment that you slighted them, they will pay you back with severe brutality.

Logic and rationality don’t apply to these people. They overreact to what even looks like opposition.

Sub-Types of Bullies:

All you don’t have to do anything to them for them to come after you.

You don’t have to provoke them. In fact, you don’t have to do anything at all. All you have to do is be good at something. In other words, if you outdo them at anything, they’ll take offense to it.

They’ll call you a showoff and take it as you’re trying to be better than them. And they’ll make you pay dearly. If you get recognition for a project well done, these people won’t tolerate it. They hate being in anyone’s shadow!

Bullies with narcissism are usually in the popular crowd at school or in management at work.

Don’t bother trying to second-guess them. Avoid them like the plague! Because they live to cause pain.

It’s in their psychology.

2. Sub-Types of Bullies:

Arrogant Bullies

Arrogant bullies don’t have to have narcissism. Why? Because, in many cases, arrogance comes from insecurity. People may put on an air of arrogance to hide their insecurities.

This kind of bully may have low self-esteem, but they hide that by acting like they’re better than you.

They are a close second to the bullies with narcissism. The only thing that separates them from the narcs is that the narcs really do think they’re superior.

However, the arrogant bullies want you to think they’re superior.

These bullies are harder to spot and less violent. Like those with narcissism, they have extremely fragile egos.

They are highly insecure. Moreover, if they dislike you, they’ll attack in small nibbles. You won’t realize it until they begin taking bigger swipes at you.

These bullies are usually the wannabes. They are groupies to the popular crowd at school or the suck-ups to management at work.

Avoid these people as well because they will bully you to prove their worth to the popular crowd.

3. Suspicious Bullies

These bullies only see the worst in you. They see you as a threat and think that you’re out to get them when you aren’t.

Suspicious bullies aren’t as dangerous as the previous two. You can fool these bullies much easier. And sometimes you must resort to trickery to protect yourself.

To counter these bullies, you must use their suspicions and turn them to someone else. As long as they’re bullying someone else, they’re leaving you alone.

4. Sub-Types of Bullies:

Those with photographic memories

These bullies never forget you. If you were to run into them again 30 years later, you can bet that they will target you again. They’ll pick up where they left off.

If you’re a target of these bullies, they won’t show their hatred outwardly. But they will keep their eyes on you.

They’ll lie in wait as they plot. Then, when the time is right, they’ll exact their brutality with a frigid coldness. These bullies are usually stoic.

To protect yourself, you must punish these bullies so severely that they won’t even think of coming for you again.

5. Bullies who aren’t very bright

These individuals are easy to counter and won’t anticipate your counterattack. These are the bullies you can most easily defend yourself against. Also, they’re easy to expose.

Again, you must know your bullies if you expect to overcome them. Knowing your bullies means understanding their personalities and being able to predict their future actions.

Only then will you be able to protect yourself against them.

6. Sub-Types of Bullies:

Passive-Aggressive Bullies

These types of bullies are slick with their attacks. They catch you off guard, taunting you in such a way that it can be tricky to figure out if it’s you they’re aiming their attacks at.

Sometimes, you don’t even know until it’s too late for you to deliver a good comeback.

Why? Because the bully may not necessarily address it to you. In other words, you may not know they’re talking about you.

However, bystanders will immediately know who the covert nastiness was meant for. It’s funny how we tend to see so much clearer from the outside.

What’s so terrible about this is that the stealthy insults are usually hurled at you in front of an audience. And they can quickly fly over your head.

As a result, you end up looking like a clueless idiot for not catching it in time. The bully’s words are vague and unclear. But they’ll still nibble at your self-esteem.

Passive-aggressive bullies are cowards.

They take a chunk out of your pride, whether you want them to or not. Why? Because you usually figure it out sooner or later. It only goes to prove how vicious these covert attacks can be.

The bully and a few others think they’re being cute and witty. And they slap you with burn after burn. However, see these people for who they are and why they’re so slick with their mouths.

They’re nothing but cowards. Why? Because they lack the courage to make a direct attack. They’re afraid of how you might respond, so they hit you with sneak attacks to stun you into silence.

Here’s how you protect yourself from these creeps. Learn to read between the lines. Also, learn to read the room when they get slick-mouthed with you.

Also, listen to your gut. If you have a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach, don’t ignore it.

Watch the people around you. Notice their reactions. Also pay attention to any clusters. If you see any of these expressions below, you are the target of the insult.

  • Witnesses’ eyes suddenly widen and they immediately look at you funny after the bully opens his mouth
  • They alternate uncomfortable glances from the bully to you, then back to the bully.
  • You hear light gasps and grunts of shock from the “audience.”
  • Their faces suddenly change and mouths slightly gape open.
  • You hear soft but derisive giggles, chuckles, or laughter
  • You see or hear snickering

If you notice any of these things, let the bully have it!

7. Sub-Types of Bullies:

Those who are easily Offended

For people who love to dish out the bullshit, bullies are the most easily offended. They have such fragile egos that it takes zero effort to offend them.

Understand that people who are easily offended take things completely out of context. They attach meaning to your behavior when it’s completely devoid of personal meaning.

Even if you are neutral, these bullies will find ways to turn it into a personal affront or confrontation.

With these pansies, it’s always:

  • “She doesn’t agree with everything I say, do, and think, so that means she doesn’t like me!”
  • “He has a different opinion than me, so that means he’s looking down his nose at me!”
  • “She doesn’t like the same things I like, so that means she hates me!”

When they do this, they presume to know what you’re thinking and feeling.

In Closing

In life, you will run into all kinds of bullies. This is why you must understand their personality types so that you can better predict their behavior. Then, you can tailor your defense tactics

This post was all about the sub-Types of bullies so that you can predict their next move and tailor your defense against them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Narcissism: 7 Secret Powers of Narcopathic Bullies

2. Sadistic Personality: Bullies who Bully for Pleasure 

How to Prove Workplace Bullying: 3 Types of Proof You Need

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‘Want to know how to prove workplace bullying? Here are three types of proof you should be familiar with.

how to prove workplace bullying

Workplace bullying is often more challenging to prove than school bullying. The reason for this is that adults are generally more skilled at concealing their intentions than schoolchildren and teenagers.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to prove workplace bullying so that you will have the materials you need to present during company tribunals or in court.

Once you have learned all about this crucial information, you will be able to gather your evidence and prove your case confidently.

This post is all about how to prove workplace bullying so that you can save your reputation and get the justice you deserve.

How to Prove Workplace Bullying

Workplace bullying is the most difficult to prove. Why? Because adults are much better at hiding their bullying than kids in school. Moreover, companies are good at covering up bullying incidents and protecting themselves from legal consequences.

Therefore, you must gather your evidence on your own.

When you report bullying at work, HR will likely tell you that they will conduct an investigation and get back with you. However, never rely on that. Here’s why.

1. HR will only look out for the company’s interests, not yours.

They may tell you that they’ll protect you. However, this is a lie that has sold many bullied employees down the river.

Additionally, if the bully is a superior, such as a supervisor or manager, you can be certain that HR will likely protect them rather than you.

Just by being higher up than you on the corporate ladder, HR will more than likely take their word over yours. That’s just how it works.

2. How to Prove Workplace Bullying:

By reporting bullying, you automatically become a liability.

HR will never tell you this. However, once you report bullying and submit that grievance form, they will consider you a threat to the company.

They may claim to have an open-door policy. But the reality is that most companies despise employees who complain even once.

When you complain, you make waves. Therefore, they’ll begin watching you and looking for any reason to terminate you.

Therefore, it would be best if you quietly gathered your evidence before reporting bullying and submitting a grievance form. Why? Because if you already have the proof you need, you will throw HR off balance.

You may even throw them into panic mode. Then, they will more than likely make mistakes that benefit you.

So, What are the three types of evidence you need?

The workplace can be very cutthroat. Therefore, gather your evidence quietly. The trick is not to let on that anything is happening until you have already collected your proof.

If you keep it quiet while gathering evidence, your workplace bullies won’t need to watch their behavior. Therefore, let them think that they have you over a barrel. Keep them comfortable with their abuse.

Why?  Because when someone is relaxed, they expose themself. That’s what you want!

Here is the proof you’ll need.

1. How to Prove Workplace Bullying:

Your own documentation.

If you want to gather evidence that people are bullying you at work, writing about it can be the first step to making a record of the attacks.

The best way to do this is to keep a bullying journal. Journals are the best way for you to protect yourself.

When you keep a journal of bullying, you establish a pattern of bullying that is believable. Moreover, you also provide evidence to present in court if you decide to go the legal route.

Also, keep your journal safe at home. Never take it to work with you. Why? Because bullies are known for plundering through your office and your desk after you’ve gone home for the day.

Therefore, you risk them finding your journal and snooping through it. So, keep it home.

Write about any of the day’s bullying events as soon as you get home, while your memory is still fresh. The sooner you write about it, the better.

When documenting bullying in your journal, be sure to use the 5-W method.

the 5-W Method

1. What

Write in your journal what happened. And when you write about it, describe the incident exactly as it unfolded. Include any exchanges of dialogue and by whom.

2. Who

Identify the bullies by writing down their full names. If necessary, include their titles and positions. Also, include the names, titles, and positions of any bystanders and witnesses.

If any supervisors are present, please add their names, titles, and positions as well. They may not want to provide any testimonies. Additionally, they may even deny witnessing the bullying incident.

However, if you document correctly, your bullying journal will expose them for the liars and cowards they are.

3. How to Prove Workplace Bullying:

When

Record the date and exact time of the incident. This is very important!

4. Where

 You must include where the incident happened. For instance, did it happen in the company bathroom? Record that. Did it occur in the parking lot? Write that in your journal.

5. Why

Write down why it happened. For example, was the bully retaliating because you reported prior harassment?. Write down every detail!

If you don’t know why it happened, write that down. Moreover, if necessary, also describe how the incident occurred. You owe it to yourself to document the bullying.

How not to record in Your Journal

Pay attention to the quality of your documentation. Make sure that you write everything neatly and legibly. The last thing you want is writing that isn’t easy to read.

Don’t be vague. And don’t write how they made you feel. Here are examples of wrong statements in documentation.

  • “Her words made me feel hurt and embarrassed.”
  • “He assaulted me.” This is why detailed documentation is so crucial.

Always write everything down in the tiniest details possible. And no hearsay. In other words, none of the “he said, she said” stuff. Ever!

If you didn’t hear it with your own ears, it’s best not to write about it. Instead, only record your own experiences.

If people are bullying you, I can’t stress enough how important it is to have documentation of it. Documentation gets more credit than spoken words.

Why? Because when you use the spoken word to describe what you’ve experienced, you can become emotional. Then, you will end up rambling about it. And it will hurt you more than it will help.

When you’re being bullied, it’s not the time to be lazy. You must be proactive and document! It’s truly the best defense there is!

2. How to Prove Workplace Bullying:

Recordings.

You can use a hidden body camera or a digital recorder. You can use both, if you prefer. However, here’s a word of caution. You must get familiar with the laws in your state on recordings.

Some states have a one-party consent rule, and others have a two-party consent rule. If you live in a one-party consent state, using recordings to gather evidence is illegal.  And it could easily backfire on you.

On the other hand, if you live in a two-party consent state, you are free to record. Therefore, consider wearing a hidden body camera or carrying a digital voice recorder to work.

But read the company’s policy first. Some companies have clauses that prevent recordings on their property.

3. How to Prove Workplace Bullying:

Electronic Evidence: Screenshots, saved emails, and saved messages.

Take screenshots of any company email exchanges between you and your bully. However, chances are that your company has software that monitors the entire network. In other words, they will be watching you.

Moreover, they will watch and record every keystroke you make. So, if you use the company computer to take screenshots, they’ll know it.

Therefore, use your phone to take pictures of the email exchanges. When you do it this way, you won’t blow your cover, and you’ll continue to keep your investigation secret.

If bullies bully you at work, there’s a good chance they’ll stalk your social media pages, get your email address, and bully you online too.

Therefore, save everything on three or more different flash drives. Then, keep each flash drive in a different place. The trick is to take precautions in case someone connected to your bullies breaks into your house to conduct a little snooping.

This doesn’t happen often. However, it has happened, and you want to take precautions.

If your workplace bully sends you a mean or threatening text, save it. The more evidence you gather, the more you build your case. Therefore, the more likely you are to get justice.

In Closing

When you’re being bullied or mobbed at work, I want to emphasize the importance of gathering your own evidence. HR may try to assure you that they’ll conduct an investigation. However, you should never take that at face value.

Realize that HR is only looking out for the company’s best interests. Therefore, you must look out for yours.

This is not the time to by lazy. So, do what you must do to gather evidence of bullying and build your case. Nobody can watch your ass but you.

This post was all about how to prove workplace bullying so that you can build a good case and win!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying Evidence: 5 Smart Ways to Get Evidence of Bullying

2. How to Document Bullying: 5 Things to Record in Your Journal

3. Bullying Journal: 8 Reasons You Should Keep One

reactive bullying meaning

Reactive Bullying: What is It?

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‘Ever heard of reactive bullying? Here’s what it is and why it can lead to trouble.

reactive bullying

When bullies force you to tolerate their bullying, the pressure builds over time. You become angry, and that anger also builds. Everyone has a breaking point. And when people push you to yours, you snap and show your ugly side.

This happens all the time, and it can lead to mayhem if you aren’t careful.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about reactive bullying and its potential impact on you.

Once you learn all about this important, even life-saving information, you will be able to save yourself a lot of drama down the road.

This post is all about reactive bullying, so that you can take steps to save yourself from having it weaponized against you.

Reactive Bullying

What is reactive bullying? Reactive bullies tend to be victims of bullying. Reactive bullying happens when bullies taunt you until you finally snap out of rage and launch a verbal tirade or physical attack against your bullies.

The victim who snaps

You snap after you’ve ignored the bullying for so long. You’ve tried handling it calmly, but it doesn’t help. The bullies only intensify the bullying.

As time passes, the pressure builds slowly. For example, you take a bottle of Coke and shake it up. If you keep shaking it up, it will eventually spew.

This is what happens after people have targeted you for so long.  The pressure boils over, and you ultimately explode with rage, lashing out at your tormentors. Realize that you can’t hold it in forever.

So, you let them have it! In other words, you bully them back. Is blowing up and going off on your bullies the wisest thing to do?

No. Why? Because an explosive reaction is precisely what your bullies want. They want you to snap. And, the reason they want you to blow up on them is so they can play the victim and make you look like the bully.

Reactive Bullying:

Your bullies will only weaponize your reaction.

I realize that people can only take so much. I understand that when you’ve had enough, you’ve had enough, and I’m with you.

However, bullies are experts at baiting you. Although your reaction may be justified, your bullies will only use it against you. They’ll paint it as proof that you’re mentally unstable.

They’ll say that you’re too sensitive or you’re a drama queen. Also, they may use it to blame you. They may say,

  • “Well? Maybe if you wouldn’t get so overly emotional, you’d have friends!”
  • “If you didn’t overreact to everything, people would want to be around you more!”
  • “Maybe if you’d control your temper, we wouldn’t give you such a hard time!”

Your reaction is a tool they can use to Blame you.

However, see this for what it is. It’s gaslighting of the highest extent. Your bullies mistreat you, then punish you for reacting to their abuse.

They also use it to make excuses for the behavior and deflect the blame back onto you. Sadly, it works like a charm, and bystanders and witnesses believe them.

For example, we’ll use a scene in the movie “Home Alone 2.”

In this scene, the McAllisters are having a family meeting in their living room. The main character, Kevin, is in trouble for pushing his older brother, Buzz, after Buzz humiliated him at the Christmas choir concert.

Buzz gives a fake apology to Kevin and the rest of the family. He then turns toward his little brother and sneakily calls him a trout-sniffer. Then, Buzz baits Kevin into a reaction. Therefore, Kevin gets into trouble with the family, while Buzz gets off scot-free.

Bullies pull the same trick on you.

Reactive Bullying:

Superiors won’t punish your bullies for abusing you, they’ll punish you for your reaction to it.

If you blow a gasket and tear into your bullies, it doesn’t undercut the fact that they initiated it. After all,  your bullies are the ones who asked for it and drove you to get out of character.

Every single human one of us is capable of losing our cool after we’ve endured vile treatment for so long. However, many superiors will punish you because they feel that you overreacted.

There will be those who feel that the punishment outweighs the crime.

Therefore, teachers, supervisors, and others in authority must learn to distinguish between provocation and reaction. Then, they will be able to identify the real bully and target.

You must also learn to distinguish between the two so that you can call it out when it happens to you. Fortunately, there are a few reliable ways to differentiate between a provocation and a reaction. In that, you identify the real victim who is only reacting to bullying.

How do you know which person is the bully and which is the victim?

Simple! You can determine this by observing each person’s behavior.

A victim who has only reacted always feels terrible about how they acted once they’ve calmed down. They are usually the first to apologize for it.

A real target will also not be afraid to admit they’ve made a mistake.

On the other hand, a bully must always be right. They will never admit they’ve done anything wrong. Instead, a bully will continue to blame the victim.

They will be overly critical of the target and their reaction. Moreover, bullies will also use the tiniest mistake or imperfection and exaggerate it beyond its actual size. Bullies are also excessively dramatic.

Now, if the bully is a smooth talker, he might even admit to a few minor mistakes or wrongdoings. However, they will always follow that with the claim that the victim is at fault.

Therefore, always look for these signs. Then, you can easily peel the mask off the bully, layer by layer! Moreover, you can protect and care for the victim.

Reactive BULLYING:

Damned if you do and damned if you don’t

As mentioned earlier, the pressure of bullying builds until you snap. Bystanders and superiors may feel that your reaction subtracts from the fact that they drove you to overreact.

As a result,  you may stop defending yourself. Why? It seems that every time you stand up for yourself, they punish you for it. Therefore, it may discourage you from standing up for yourself.

As a result, you may feel you have no other choice but to stay silent. You may think it easier to resign yourself, stay quiet, and allow them to keep bullying you.

The fear of them making you the villain overrides your natural desire to defend yourself. And, in your silence, you may hope that others take notice of your passivity and realize that you are, in fact, the target.

However, in most cases, this doesn’t work either. Why? Because, when you suffer bullying, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

What happens when bullies make you out to be the bad guy?

If your bullies make you look like the instigator when you defend yourself, they become brazen. Then, they have carte blanche to bully you any time they feel like it.

Moreover, they will bully you more frequently, more severely, and more openly.

Reactive Bullying:

So What can you do?

You can react to bullying in positive ways. What do I mean by this?

For instance, you can become an advocate against bullying. You can speak for others who suffer from bullying.

Also, you can focus more on your life goals. You can get busy working on those goals and following your dreams. This will buffer your self-esteem from the effects of bullying.

And you can tell your story of how people bully you. And you must, no matter how they shout you down.

Continue to talk about it, no matter how they blame and punish you. Tell your side of the story, even if no one wants to listen to it.

Just having your say can give you such relief. The fact that you got it off your chest and out in the open keeps you from internalizing everything. Also, it saves your self-esteem from being destroyed.

This is all a part of self-care.

The Importance of self-Care

When you’re against these types of odds, self-care is most important. Realize that, although the bullies may never change their behavior toward you, they can never stop you from taking care of yourself.

In these situations, all you have is you. So, practice self-care. Show yourself compassion and do what you must do to preserve your safety and mental health. Be your own best friend. Fight for yourself.

You’re worth fighting for.

Reactive Bullying:

In closing

Reactive bullying is a natural reaction to bullying. However, it can also give bullies a tool to use against you. Therefore, respond to bullying the right way. Never allow your bullies to get you so riled up that you snap.

Why? Because once you lose your cool, you lose your ability to think clearly, and you give your bullies a chance to lay the blame on you.

This post was all about reactive bullying for you to learn what it is and how bullies can use it to their advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Punished for Defending Yourself: What You Can Do

2. Baiting: 5 Ways Bullies Bait You Into a Reaction 

3. Unhealthy Ways to Deal with Bullying: 11 No-No’s to be Aware of

4. Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up

why being too nice is bad for you

Why Being Too Nice is Bad and 5 Ways to Grow a Pair

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‘Want to know why being too nice is bad and how to grow a backbone? Here are all the details you need to know.

why being too nice is bad

Too much sugar is never good because it not only eats away at your teeth, but it also eats away at your self-esteem and your life.

In this post, you will learn why being too nice is bad and five ways to grow a pair so that you can save yourself a ton of trouble and avoid people who take your niceness for weakness.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be better equipped to set boundaries and keep users, abusers, and bullies at bay.

This post is about why being too nice is bad, so that you can develop a sense of self-protection and repel people who would use and abuse you. 

Why Being Too Nice is Bad

In a world with so many evil people, it isn’t wise to be a pushover, as being too nice means having no backbone and no boundaries.

There will be users and bullies who’ll take your kindness for being a fool. And don’t think they won’t take advantage of you.

Here are signs that you’re too danged nice.

1. You tolerate crappy behavior from people.

When you are too nice, you tend to take shit off of others. You overlook subtle zingers and other stealth forms of bullying. You smile to cover up the hurt when people disrespect you. And because of it, others think you’re pathetic.

Therefore, you attract people who don’t respect you. Why? Because you don’t impose consequences on those who mistreat you. And they know that you aren’t going to do a damn thing about it.

So, more and more people begin bullying and abusing you. Once you allow one person to bully you, others will notice and think that they can do it too. Then, you’ll have two bullies on your trail, then four, then six, and so on.

And, more and more will pile on until, before you know it, everyone is taking a bite out of your ass.

The best way to deal with this is to stand up for yourself the first time someone disrespects you. Call out their lousy behavior and let them know that you aren’t going to take any crap off them.

2. Why Being Too Nice is Bad:

You over-apologize.

You apologize for things that aren’t your fault.  And you’re sorry for things that have nothing to do with you. Keep this up, and others will find it too easy to lay guilt trips on you whenever you can’t give them what they want.

As a result, they will begin blaming you for the tiniest of things. Why? Because they know that you’ll bow down and take the blame.

So, stop apologizing so doggone much! Realize that some things don’t need an apology. Save your “sorries” for legitimate things that need them.

3. You end up a slave to the demands of others.

You bend over backward to take care of everyone else. And often, they don’t appreciate it. Instead, they only demand more of you.

Therefore, you always feel tired and exhausted. Why? Because you’re so busy pleasing others that you don’t have time to take care of yourself.

How you change this is to set boundaries. Gather the guts to say no. And when you say it, mean it! Some may not like it. However, should you care?

They never cared enough about you not to take advantage of you. So, why should you care if they get angry at your having boundaries?

Stop caring so much about what others think and how they react. Set boundaries. And stick to your guns. Also, be prepared to enforce those boundaries if necessary. In other words, be ready to show your ugly side if anyone gives you any grief.

4. Why Being Too Nice is Bad:

You say yes when you want to say no.

You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or piss anyone off. So, against your better judgment, you say yes when you want to say no.

You may be dog-tired and want to go to bed. However, someone shows up at your door at eleven o’clock at night with a problem.

You agree to help them with their problem. But what you should do is tell them to take a walk and never to darken your doorstep at such a ridiculous hour!

You’ll also rescue people from self-inflicted bad situations. In other words, you’re an enabler. Therefore, stop rewarding this kind of behavior.

The next time someone shows up at your door in the middle of the night and it’s not an emergency, crawl their butt! Give them an ass-chewing they’ll never forget, and I promise you. They’ll pick a better hour to come by, or they won’t show up ever again.

Either way, you win!

5. You take on others’ moods.

Instead of refusing to let some Negative Nancy get you down, you allow their funky mood to rub off on you. Not good!

Why Being TOO Nice is Bad:

Why are you too nice?

There are many reasons why you may be too nice. You may feel that you aren’t enough. Perhaps you think that you have no right to say no to anything —that you don’t deserve to take care of yourself.

You may be afraid of conflict.

It’s natural to want to be approved of, liked, and loved. However, when you feel that the only way to do it is to bust ass for others, that’s when it’s unhealthy.

Additionally, you often end up with the opposite of what you want. Why? Because people lose respect for you! No one respects a pushover!

And you won’t realize all of this until you reach your limit and get fed up! But you don’t have to waste years of your life being a doormat if you follow the guidelines below.

Here are 5 ways to grow a pair.

1. Stand up to shabby treatment.

Life’s too short for that. You must stand up for yourself when someone violates a boundary, whether it be physical or psychological.

Realize you deserve to be treated well, and you deserve it just as much as the next person. Therefore, you must always speak up for yourself.

2. Why Being too Nice is Bad:

Stop apologizing so much.

Realize that some things don’t warrant an apology. And standing up for yourself and saying no are only two of those things.

When you apologize too much, you invite bullying to happen to you. Why? Because you care too much about what people think, you also attract bullies and abusers into your life. And they will take advantage of you.

Stop apologizing and taking responsibility for things you aren’t guilty of. When you do this, you’ll repel all the creeps who are looking for someone to use.

3. put yourself first.

Take care of yourself first. Only then will you have enough energy to take care of others.

4. Say no.

Don’t be afraid to say no if you don’t want to do something. If you don’t feel like fulfilling someone else’s request, no law says you have to.

For example, if you have adult children who need your help with their rent, you can assist them if you know they’re responsible and trying. Sometimes, unexpected things happen.

People get sick and have unexpected medical bills. Cars break down, and repair bills take all the money for rent.

However, if they’re out blowing money on drinks and partying, then you don’t have to help them. Sometimes you must let them fall on their butt before they’ll take responsibility for their lives.

5. Why Being too Nice is Bad:

don’t let the moods of others around you affect your mood.

If you have a Debbie Downer who is always negative, there’s nothing wrong with calling them out on it or staying away from them. Whatever you do, don’t try to rescue them or argue with them. It won’t work.

Leave them to stew in their juices. Their emotional state isn’t your responsibility.

Why Being Too Nice is Bad.

1. It’s exhausting.

You waste a lot of energy trying to appease ungrateful people when you could be taking care of yourself.

2. People take you for granted.

People will only take your kindness for weakness. They will take advantage of you every chance they get.

3. You attract bullies, users, and abusers.

Human predators will see you coming a mile away. Therefore, they will approach you just to obtain what they want from you.

4. Why Being Too Nice is Bad:

People see you as a pushover.

This is never good because once others see you as a pushover, they’ll likely take advantage of you. Additionally, you’ll appear pathetic to them.

5. You lose respect.

No one respects a doormat. On the other hand, they do respect someone who sets boundaries.

6. You have no time for yourself.

When you’re too busy solving other people’s problems, you have no time to take care of your own. So, take care of your issues first.

Why Being Too Nice is Bad:

In closing

Sometimes, taking care of yourself means facing conflict, as some people can be selfish and demanding. They won’t be able to see past their own needs and desires.

Never be afraid to set boundaries. It’s okay to take care of others. But don’t forget to take a little back for yourself. Only then will people respect you and recognize that you also have feelings and rights.

You will be amazed at the benefits!

It’s okay to be kind, but never be too nice!

1. How to Stop Being Too Nice: 5 Powerful Changes that Win Respect

2. Saying Sorry Too Much: 4 Reasons You Do and How to Stop It

3. What Happens When You Set Boundaries: 7 Amazing Outcomes

4. When You Stop Caring: 9 Positive Results You’ll See

5. Benefits of Setting Boundaries

comebacks for bullies at school

Comebacks for Bullies: 12 Phrases that Shut Them Up

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‘Want to know the best comebacks for bullies so that you can shut them up for good? Here are all the burning clap-backs you need to know about.

comebacks for bullies

Bullies are forever on the attack. They are pretty inventive when it comes to verbal sparring. Sadly, many victims get stumped because they can’t think of anything to counter the verbal abuse.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn several comebacks you can use to get them to shut up and leave you alone once and for all.

Once you learn these clap-backs, you will lessen the chances of them coming for you again. Additionally, your confidence will receive a significant boost.

This post provides a list of comebacks for bullies, so you can give them a dose of their own medicine and force them to go away for good.

Comebacks for Bullies

Understand that bullies thrive on power and control. Therefore, if they can’t control you, they’ll control how others view you. This is why they like to throw cute little zingers and burns at you in front of an audience.

They want to diminish you in the eyes of others.

Also, they’ll use redundancy and repetition to make you believe their lies, too. Here’s what they say to brainwash you into seeing yourself through their eyes. Also, here’s what you should come back with.

Examples

1. Bullies: “Apart from us, you can do nothing, you are nothing, and you never will be.”

You: “Apart from you, I’m better off. I can do anything I set my mind to do, and who are you to make predictions?”

When you respond this way, you completely counter the bully’s statement. In that, you buffer your self-esteem and confidence. They may not stop talking. They may even repeat themselves.

However, the important thing is that you countered their attack. You didn’t take it lying down. So, you dealt a blow, and that’s what matters.

2. Bullies: “You’ll never find happiness.”

You: “Really? Why’s that? Because you never found any? I don’t need your permission to be happy. I’m much happier without losers like you.”

3. Bullies: “Nobody will ever like you.”

You: “And who’s ‘nobody?’ You? Maybe you never will, but I don’t mind because you don’t matter.”

4. Bullies: “You’re nothing without our approval.”

You: “I’m nothing with it because you are nothing. I don’t need your approval.

Always counter your bullies’ verbal attacks. Even counter the unspoken ones. You’ll be surprised at what it’ll do for your self-esteem and spirit!

Comebacks for bullies:

Universal comebacks you can use to counter any verbal attack.

1. If I want to hear from an ass, I’ll fart.

2. Were you born a jackass or did you have to work at it?

3. Take a break. You don’t have to be a moron every day of your life.

With the above three comebacks, you are insulting the bully’s intelligence. Making someone out to be an idiot is worse than yelling and cursing them out. Why? Because you can be calm and cool as a cucumber when you counter with these kinds of comebacks.

4. Boneheads like you are the reason abortion is legal.

Not only are you calling the bully an idiot, you’re also sending the message that the world would be a better place if they weren’t around. Therefore, this is a two-in-one.

Comebacks that weaponize your bully’s emotions.

5. Are you mad? Fix your face, sweetie.

This is a great counter-jab because it highlights your bully’s anger. Also, you get to take their outrage and rub their noses in it. Now, who doesn’t love that?

6. You’re not a happy person, are you?

When you come back with this, you’re letting the bully and everyone else within earshot know that they’re a miserable human being. Ouch!

Moreover, this is embarrassing to bullies, and they’ll likely quickly leave you alone and find someone else to jerk around.

Comebacks for bullies:

Calling out their behavior.

7. Are you so miserable that you have to put someone else down to feel better about yourself?

By saying this, you’re not only calling out their behavior, you’re exposing the bully as the pathetic loser they are. Anyone who must berate others to feel powerful can’t be about much.

Therefore, you instill some shame into the bullies, and they’ll likely decide that you aren’t the one they want to tangle with.

8. You can’t insult me. I’d have to care about your opinions first.

With this little gem of a comeback, you’re telling your bullies that they’re wasting their breath on you. And if you’re a bully, it’s nowhere near as fun to take pot shots at someone who doesn’t give a damn what you think.

In fact, it takes the wind out of a bully’s sails. Remember that bullies are counting on a big, emotional reaction from you. And when you calmly counter them with this little firecracker, you take the fun out of the game.

Therefore, they’ll decide that you aren’t worth the energy and find an easier target.

When Using these comebacks, remember to use them calmly.

9. Why are you so obsessed with me? That’s creepy, and I don’t like you that way.

This is a great clap-back because you’re humiliating the bullies by highlighting their obsession with you. Also, you’re making it look to bystanders as though they are romantically interested in you, but don’t know how else to get your attention.

10. You must bully people to compensate for your shoe size.

The most effective counter-jab is to reframe the bully’s behavior as a response to a shortcoming.  When you do it this way, you can reduce the bully’s power and make them look foolish if an audience is present.

11. You need to stop outing yourself.

This is a good one because you make it seem to others as if your bullies are projecting their issues onto you. And, in most cases of bullying, they are.

12. Whatever.

You can use this little one-word wonder in almost any verbal situation. Also, it can be used as a response to any verbal attack.

A cool response of “whatever” is the comeback of the ages! It’s short and sweet, and it’s the perfect blow-off to any bully.

Comebacks for Bullies:

The less words you use, the better!

Let’s face it, being blown off with this magic word is a real pisser-offer to every bully. Why? Because they’re looking for a big reaction from you. Any time you calmly make this little response, it sends the message to the bully that they bore you. Ouch!

Another reason this little beauty of a word infuriates bullies so much is that there’s no good comeback to counter it. It stops them dead in their tracks and leaves them looking nine kinds of dimwitted!

Bullies may verbally retaliate with a “whatever” of their own, but it will only make them look unoriginal and childish. The trick with this comeback is to strike first. Why? Because he who says it first automatically wins the day!

More Comebacks for bullies.

For example, your bully may ask you, “‘You want to fight me?”  Then, you can say, “I would but shit splatters.”

If your bully tells you to get a life, you say, “Like yours? Nah. I’ll pass.”

If the bully tells you that you’re an arrogant jerk, you could say, “That’s a compliment coming from you.”

And, if the bully tells you that your shirt looks like it’s from the Salvation Army, you could come back with, “Oh, you shop there too, huh?”

If a bully flips you off, you could say, “Behind every bird is a pile of shit.”

In Closing

If you’re a target of bullying, I cannot stress how important it is for you to have a few zingers filed away in the back of your mind. Moreover, you must be quick! You must be able to think on your feet!

With these comebacks, you will look calm, cool, and collected while making your bullies look defeated.

You will throw your bullies off balance. You will infuriate them so much that they won’t be able to think straight. They will probably react out of emotion. And when they do that, they will only expose themselves.

Moreover, you will instantly boost your self-esteem and save your mental health from any damage that verbal bullying can cause.

So, put this in your little toolbox, because with these comebacks, you can’t go wrong! Just remember to say it calmly and coolly. Then watch your bullies’ reactions as they search and stumble to find a comeback without repeating you and looking utterly ridiculous.

Once you learn how to disarm bullies, you will throw them for a loop and discourage them from ever coming for you again.

This post was all about comebacks for bullies so that you can be ready with a quick counter-jab when your bullies come at you with verbal abuse, and you can save your self-esteem and overall mental health.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Disarm a Bully: 13 Clever Comebacks that Work Wonders

2. How to Shut Down a Bully: 11 Comebacks that Stop Them Cold

3.  Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

4. How to Respond to Darvo: 7 Powerful Ways to Shut it Down 

How to Love Yourself when Everyone Hates You

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‘Want to know how to love yourself when everyone hates you. It won’t be easy, but here are some things you can do to keep loving who you are when it seems others don’t.

how to love yourself when everyone hates you

Continuing to love yourself is the most important thing you can do when you’re stuck in a place where everyone else hates you.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to love yourself when everyone hates you so that you can maintain your confidence and self-esteem.

Once you learn all about these crucial tips, your self-esteem won’t take such a big hit, and you’ll come away from it with minimal damage to your psyche.

This post teaches you how to love yourself when everyone hates you, so that you can preserve the most precious things you have- your confidence and self-esteem.

How to Love Yourself When Everyone Hates You

Life can get tough when you work or go to school in an environment where everyone else hates you. Here are twelve tips you can use to maintain self-love and protect your mental health.

1. Practice self-compassion.

In other words, treat yourself with the same kindness you would give to your best friend. When you practice self-compassion, you eliminate negative self-talk and encourage your inner voice to speak to you in a kind and gentle manner.

Also, you practice positive thinking. Look for the bright side when bad things happen or when people treat you unkindly. Maybe they’re jealous of an achievement you made.

Another part of self-compassion is re-framing every negative thing your bullies say to you. For instance, if a bully tells you that you’re no good, you reframe it. How? You do it by telling yourself that the bully is only projecting their own self-hatred onto you.

2. Practice self-care

If you don’t put yourself first, you’ll only end up finishing last. Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential! When you love yourself enough to take care of yourself, you boost your self-esteem and feel better about yourself.

So, how do you practice self-care? There are several ways to do so.

Practicing self-care means setting boundaries and saying no when necessary. It means prioritizing your own needs before those of others. Additionally, practicing self-care means treating yourself occasionally and engaging in activities you enjoy.

When you’re around those who hate you and want to harm you, you must make yourself top priority. And to hell with anyone who doesn’t like it.

3. How to Love Yourself When Everyone Hates You:

Be Yourself

If you continue to be yourself even when others try to change you, you keep your power. On the other hand, when you put on fronts to win approval from others, you only give it away. And you place it in the hands of people who couldn’t care less about you.

So, be yourself and think independently. Stop apologizing for your flaws and learn to embrace them. Start doing what you enjoy. Avoid the people who drain your energy and make you feel bad.

This is how you reclaim control of your life and start living life on your terms.

4. Walk away from toxic people

And be willing to walk away from those you care about if they don’t treat you with the same goodness in return. If they’re toxic family members whom you love, the hardest thing you can do is walk away. I understand that.

Loving yourself means making some tough decisions. Sometimes, you have to walk away from people you love and care about. And you must do it knowing full well that there is always a chance that they may never see your worth.

This means letting go of the outcome. In other words, you must come to the point where you no longer care even the slightest about the results.

However, if it’s a family member, there’s a strong chance that your choosing to walk away may shock the person. Moreover, they may suddenly realize your value and regret having taken you for granted. And they will eventually see your worth and treat you better than you ever thought possible.

It may not happen overnight. In fact, it may take up to several years, but it can happen.

But! If it doesn’t, don’t feel guilty. Realize that you didn’t turn your back because you did not love them. You did it only because they did not love you enough to treat you with the love and respect that you deserve.

5. How to Love Yourself When Everyone Hates You:

Stop caring what other people think

When you care too much about what others think, you make yourself a slave to them. You jump through hoops to prove your worth. You say yes all the time because you won’t have the guts to say no.

Additionally, you may do things you don’t want to do and agree with things that contradict your beliefs. And you sacrifice your time, energy, and resources for people who only take you for granted.

You fall for their lies accept their crappy behavior to avoid conflict. Consequently, others notice, and they only see you as a doormat. Then, they lose respect for you.

So, buck up and stop giving undue value to other people’s opinions. Stop wondering if they like you and start asking yourself if you like them!

Instead of making everything about what others think, start making it about what you think! That’s how you take your power back!

6. Keep a journal or diary

Keeping a daily journal is one of the healthiest things you can do! Moreover, it’s even more critical when you deal with bullies and other people who hate you.

Keeping a journal allows you to document any instances of bullying and aggression. Moreover, it’s the best outlet you have when you have no one to turn to.

7. How to Love Yourself When Everyone Hates You:

Treat Yourself every now and again

There are many ways to treat yourself. For instance, you can go on a trip to the beach. If you’d rather stay home, you can treat yourself to a long soak in the bathtub with bubbles or a bath bomb.

You can even curl up in front of the fireplace and read a good book. However you like to treat yourself, do it. You’ll feel so much better when you do.

8. Take care of your health and hygiene

Taking care of your physical and mental health is of the utmost importance when you’re being bullied by people who hate you. In other words, exercise and eat healthy.

Eating a healthy diet provides the fuel you need to cope with life’s challenges. And when you pair that with exercise, you keep up your stamina.

And here’s another important point about exercise. It releases endorphins, these feel-good hormones that instantly lift your spirits.

Also, you must keep yourself clean. Bath often. Why? Because it helps you relax. You’ll be surprised at how much better you feel after a good bath or shower.

9. How to Love Yourself When Everyone Hates You:

Dress your BEST. 

Taking pride in your appearance is crucial when you’re being bullied. If you look good, you feel good. Therefore, practice good grooming and dressing habits. The better you dress, the better you feel.

And here’s another point I want to make. The way you dress and the style you choose give you a little bit of control over your life. It’s true!

So, continue to dress well. Do not let yourself go! You will be amazed at what this does for your self-esteem.

10. Make Positive Affirmations

To make positive affirmations, create loving ‘I-Am’ statements to yourself every day. For example, look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I am a great person,” “I am smart,” “I am beautiful,” and so on.

This is how you protect your confidence and self-esteem when people mistreat you. And you would be amazed at how much better it makes you feel about yourself!

11. Do the things that make you happy and fill your soul

Indulge in your hobbies. Do the things you enjoy the most. When you’re too busy doing the things you love, you won’t have time to think about your bullies and how they treat you.

In other words, you won’t dwell on their abuse and feel sorry for yourself. Self-pity is the killer of confidence. Therefore, do the things you love most, and you’ll keep your confidence from spiraling downward.

12. How to Love Yourself When Everyone Hates You:

See through their hatred of you.

Realize that their hatred hurts them more than it does you. Hate will fool you. Why? Because when a person hates someone, the person they hate either doesn’t know about it or they don’t care.

Therefore, realize that your bullies’ hatred of you is fruitless. It isn’t getting them anywhere. The only thing it does is rot out their very souls.

While they’re burning with their hatred of you, you’re going about your business and living your life. Even worse for them, you’re living your life in peace. You’re doing the things you enjoy and taking care of yourself.

Therefore, your bullies are wasting their time and energy hating on you. Moreover, they only cause themselves misery.

So, let them hate.

In Conclusion:

One of the hardest things to do is to love yourself when everyone hates you. However, you must love yourself or nobody will love you. Never look outside of yourself for love and validation. Never depend on others to validate you. Let love come from within!

That means loving yourself enough to know when it’s time to let go. It also means doing everything you can to take care of yourself and maintain your happiness and fulfillment.

This post was all about how to love yourself when everyone hates you so that you can be more resilient and resistant to the attacks of bullies.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Loving Yourself First: 7 Amazing Benefits of Treating Yourself Well 

2. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

3. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You

4. When You Stop Caring: 9 Positive Results You’ll See

5. What Bullies Hate Most: 9 Things Bullies Despise

letter to a bullied girl in school

Letter to a Bullied Girl

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Here is a letter to a bullied girl. It is a letter that I wrote to my teenage self several years ago. However, this is a letter to everyone who is bullied. I would be grateful if you could read it as well, so that it will encourage you and give you hope.

letter to a bullied girl

Being bullied is the fight of your life. It is the kind of stress that no one, adult or child, deserves, and only those with the most determination survive.

Therefore, in this post, you will read a letter to a bullied girl, so that you can find the courage and hope you need to keep pushing forward.

Once you have read this letter, you will be encouraged to persevere even when you want to give up. And you will be more likely to find the determination you need to stick with it and eventually overcome.

This post is a letter to a bullied girl, so that you feel empowered to stand firm, put yourself first, and show yourself the compassion you need. 

Letter to a Bullied Girl

I know it’s tough. But sometimes you must first live with what you hate before you can move on to what you love. You must weather the storm before you can see sunlight. Understand that only when we’ve been through hell do we appreciate heaven so much more.

Although your mind tells you that there’s something wrong with you, it says that it’s your fault and that you must be doing something to rub these people the wrong way. Your heart tells you differently.

Your heart tells you that you did nothing wrong. It suggests that your classmates dislike themselves and are projecting their negative energy onto you.

However, this war between your mind and your heart leaves you exhausted.

You’re tired of fighting. I get that.

You’re tired of all the drama that surrounds you and wants to overwhelm you. I understand because I’ve been there. However, no matter how tough things get, I see that small glimmer of hope in your eyes. Please don’t lose it.

Although you carry an enormous amount of pain, you’re still holding on, taking it one day at a time. Keep it up! Keep loving yourself and continue to forge your path, regardless of how others may treat you.

And please don’t hate your classmates. Instead, feel sorry for them- take pity on them. Because their lives aren’t as perfect as they let on, believe it or not, your classmates are hurting too.

Letter to a Bullied Girl:

Hurt people hurt people.

They have mental problems of their own that they never confessed to or got help for. Only they’ll never tell you about it in this lifetime.

Understand that they’re only keeping up appearances, which is such hard work. And they’re angry at you because you don’t have to work as hard as they do.

Realize that many of them are abused at home. Some have parents who are into prostitution, drugs, and alcohol. Others hear their parents fighting all the time.

Many of them are also dirt poor, surviving on welfare.  And they’re ashamed of it! Many of your peers have home lives you couldn’t imagine! School is their happy place.

Open your eyes and see that your home life is better than that of many kids your age. Be thankful for it. Your home is a sanctuary compared to most.

And they’re also scared. Bystanders are scared of becoming just like you- a target! Therefore, they feel compelled to join in the bullying.

But understand that all this makes them cowards, and again, they’re to be pitied, not hated.

You don’t yet realize how strong, brave, and resilient you are. But you are. You are all those things simply because you haven’t dropped out of school, unlike many of your peers. You haven’t quit the race! And you haven’t given up on life!

You don’t realize your own strength.

You expect to be bombarded with a barrage of taunts and insults, or worse, physically attacked once you pass through the school entrance. However, you still gather the courage to get up every morning and go to school. And you do it scared!

So, who are the weak ones now?

They may have favor with most of the teachers. And many of those teachers have little hope for you. However, most of them will never leave this town.

This is a small town- only a dot on the map. In a small town, it doesn’t take much effort or very long to maximize one’s potential.

Even though you feel so small and insignificant, understand that each of your bullies feel the same way you do. And the only way they can feel big and powerful is to make you feel bad.

Letter to a Bullied Girl:

One day, you’re going to see just how they end up.

Only a few will make it. The rest will be living in loveless and abusive marriages. Many will be poor and wondering how they’ll pay the rent. Some will join gangs or begin slinging dope.

Several of your bullies will immerse themselves in drugs and alcohol to cope with their failures in life. A good portion of them will end up behind bars. And many will have kids who disrespect and hurt them.

Most of your classmates will be on a desperate and never-ending search for love. They will go through numerous divorces and broken relationships. And the sad thing is that they’ll never learn to fall in love with themselves and with life first.

They’ll be on an endless quest for happiness and never realize that happiness comes from within themselves.

You want to fix it so badly, but you don’t know what’s broken.

You’ll laugh at me when I tell you what I’m about to say to you. You’ll probably tell me I’m nuts and that I don’t know what I’m talking about. But I’m going to tell you anyway.

There’s nothing wrong with you. Your classmates are the ones with the issues! They are the ones who are mentally imbalanced. And to keep everyone from figuring it out, they put it all on you.

I want you to know that you pose a significant threat to them. That’s right. You are a threat to your bullies. Do you know why?

It’s because you’re smart. You’re smart enough to see right through them, and they know it. They also hate it!

You are a beautiful girl! You’re also talented. You can sing, for crying out loud! Your classmates know you can sing, and they’re jealous of your beautiful voice.

They’re afraid that you’ll expose the bullying and let all their skeletons out of the closet. Why do you think they shout you down and tell you to “shut up” every time you start to open your mouth?

And why do you think they scream at you and tell you to sit down every time you get up to so much as sharpen a pencil or turn in homework?

But they’re very much afraid that you’ll humiliate them. Therefore, they keep you from speaking up.

Letter to a Bullied Girl:

Your very presence terrifies their demons.

They hate it when you write. But understand that they’re afraid you might be writing about them and their cruelty. Isn’t that why they had your journal taken?

But know this. You have so much potential. Only you don’t realize it yet. Why? Because they have programmed you to think that you’re no good. And they’ve brainwashed you into thinking that you’ll never amount to anything.

I know that sometimes you want to die. But if you keep living.  I promise that things will get better- much better! You’re going to accomplish things you never thought you would. You will end up surprising yourself!

Although you think this is a load of feel-good garbage now, the truth is that your classmates bully you to keep you down. Why? Because they fear that if you ever rise, you’ll cause them to fade into the background.

You feel you have nowhere to go to find peace.

I realize that your home life isn’t so hot either. Your father doesn’t believe in you and treats you more like a stepchild than a child. He acts like you’re not one of his.

But understand that he’s battling demons of his own.

You’re anxious for your mother to remarry so you’ll have a replacement dad. I see that you dream of having a stepdad who’ll legally adopt you as his own. But honey, no one else will ever replace your daddy, and someday, you’re going to realize it.

It seems that you and Mom don’t see eye to eye. And the easiest way to avoid any fights is to stay in your room. You want to keep it in a safe place, where you can write and get lost in the music you play so loudly.

You feel like she’s ashamed of you and wishes she had a different child. She isn’t, and she doesn’t.

She loves you very much, and the bullying you suffer hurts her too. Know that she’s on your side. Only she’s at a loss as to what to do about it.

And you’re going to find out later that if you open your heart to her and talk, even cry to her, she’ll listen while she holds you. Then, you’ll grow closer than ever before.

Every kid goes through times when they’re at odds with their parents. And I’ll go back to a point I made earlier- your home life is a lot better than most.

Letter to a Bullied Girl:

You’re withdrawn.

You’ve closed yourself off to people. You’re scared to talk to people because you’re afraid they’ll make fun of anything you have to say. You have so much you want to say to your classmates, but you’re scared of what they might do to you. Take the risk anyway.

Open your heart to people. Laugh and have fun with them. I promise you that they just might see your golden heart and love you for it.

School is worse than anything. Inside, you want to laugh, you want to sing, and you want to dance. However, you’re afraid. Rest assured that one day, you’ll have the courage to let yourself do and be.

What you’re going through now is only temporary.

It won’t always be this way.

People won’t always bully you. And your classmates won’t always be in your life.

Your stomach won’t always be in knots, and you won’t always be running to the bathroom and throwing up because of the intense stress. Moreover, you won’t always have to wonder when some snake at school is going to attack you in the halls or the girls’ room.

You look in the mirror and try different outfits, makeup tricks, and hairstyles. Why? Because you think that if you make yourself more attractive than you already are, the bullying will go away.  That will soon end, too.

Letter to a Bullied Girl:

You’ll no longer wonder if you’re good enough.

The constant worrying that you’re not good enough and worthy of love? This will go away as well. The consistent question of whether you’ll ever be allowed to be yourself and relax will pass.

The worry that you might never have true friends – friends who will love you for being you, stick up for you, and take care of you? Friends, you don’t have to explain yourself to? In a few years, none of it will even be an issue.

Trust me. There will come a day when you won’t have the fake friends you have in school. And when that day arrives, you will have real friends. People who will love you for all that you are and all the beauty you bring to this world!

There will come a day when you’ll have the courage to walk away from toxic people. You will have the courage to let go of those who are no good for you. And you won’t be afraid to stand alone until better people find you.

The bullying you endure now won’t even matter anymore.

There will come a day when you’ll be so confident and secure in yourself that the cruel words of others will no longer matter. The time will come when you’ll have a family of your own and friends who’ll love you for you.

Letter to a Bullied Girl:

People will no longer only tolerate you. They’ll celebrate you!

Your courage is astounding! And each rejection, each bad name, each cruel taunt hurled; each punch, each kick, shove, and blow to your body will piss you off a little more, and a little more. But that anger will give you the dogged determination to tune out the naysayers, follow your dreams, and reach success!

Each incident of bullying is only preparing you for what you’re meant to do later. It’s preparing you for a rewarding and prosperous future.

Each blow you take – each bruise, each disappointment, each humiliation, each pull of your hair, and each tear you cry is only making you better. It’s making you the woman you’re meant to become —a more compassionate, empathetic, stronger, and wiser person.

Your loneliness now will be a source of appreciation for the circle of friends and abundance of love you’ll have later. Naivete will become wisdom.

Your persecution will become your launchpad. And your bullies, your motivation.

I know it hurts. It hurts terribly! But the pain you suffer today will be the power you enjoy tomorrow!

This post was a letter to a bullied girl to help encourage you to keep going when things are at their worst. Also, it’s to give you determination, hope, and courage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Open Letter to Bullies: From One who Overcame

2. Having the Courage to be Disliked: 7 Reasons to be Okay with It

3. There’s Always Hope: 11 Things to Remember When People Bully You

4. Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out: 11 Must-Know Facts about Bullies 

causes of bullying at work

Causes of Bullying: 9 Proven Factors That Trigger Bullying

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‘Want to know the causes of bullying so that you can feel better about yourself, knowing that it isn’t you who provokes it? As someone who was on the receiving end of it years ago, I’m giving you the proven triggers of bullying that you need to know about.

causes of bullying

Bullying can cause victims to ask themselves questions such as, “What am I doing wrong?” If this is you, know that you aren’t to blame for someone else’s attacks against you.

In this post, you will learn the exact causes of bullying so that you can sleep easily knowing that you did nothing wrong.

Once you learn about all these triggers that bring about bullying, you will finally be guilt-free and at ease. Even better, you will be able to stand up to your bullies confidently and refuse to accept blame for their monstrous actions.

This post is all about the causes of bullying so that you can live without guilt and boldly stand up to bullies who make these accusations.

Causes of Bullying

There are many causes of bullying. However, what I’m about to mention is one. Bullies bully because they have fragile but overinflated egos. Believe it or not, the ego is a huge factor in bullying- perhaps the biggest.

1. Ego.

We all have egos. However, most of us know how to handle them. Bullies, on the other hand, do not.

Bullies will often bully you anytime they see you get recognition for an achievement. This is because bullies interpret any praise you receive from others as a massive blow to their ego.

When you achieve success in something, bullies start thinking about their own accomplishments (or lack thereof). They then begin comparing them to yours. Once they do that and feel that your wins outmatch theirs, they become highly jealous of you.

Bullies become absorbed in how your success reflects on them. Moreover, they personalize it. To them, it feels like you are an adversary competing for the same award.

Because of the bullies’ exaggerated self-focus, they become angry and want to attack you for being so fortunate.

2. Jealousy

They compare themselves to you according to their own egocentric views.

They fear that others will consider them less important than you. Think about it. You are “supposed to be” inferior to them. Yet, you are the one who’s scoring all the achievements. You are the one getting all of the praise and glory. Ouch!

Your bullies see you getting more attention than they are. All this combined only infuriates them. But, there’s a reason it enrages them so much. It’s because your success directly contradicts their belief that you are inferior.

Bullies absolutely despise being shown up. As such, they feel a sense of injustice whenever you achieve success and receive recognition for it.

If you’re a target of bullying and a high achiever, you’ll often hear one or more of these statements.

Causes of Bullying:

“You think you’re better than mE.”

This remark is a dead giveaway, given the context. What this suggests is that they’re afraid you’re better than they are. In fact, it scares them to death!

You think you’re this and you think you’re that. These kinds of statements only come from fear and a bruised ego.

Making such bold statements tells you that your bullies fear what you might think of them.  So, your bullies are trying to project that onto you. They act as if they know what you are thinking of them.

Bullies claim to be mind readers. And what’s so bad is that they presume the worst of you without any evidence to back it up.

The bullies then have an urgent need to attack you. Why?  Because they feel that you slighted them simply by being successful and making achievements.

But see this for what it is! Your bullies are jealous. They’re envious of anyone who outshines them somehow.

3. Self-Servitude

Bullies are self-serving. This is the reason why they get their egos involved in the first place.  Any form of bullying is always about the bully; it’s never about you. They’re only using you as a dumping group for all their mental issues.

Understand that it’s about their mental health issues. It’s about their feelings of inferiority. It’s about their insecurities. Also, it’s about their incompetence. And it’s about their ignorance.

There’s nothing about you that needs examining. It’s about their lack of intelligence, their cowardice, and their jealousy.

It’s about their false bravado, their over-inflated sense of importance, and their fragile egos. They are the pathetic ones, not you!

Remember that your bullies see you as a threat. They’re afraid you’ll expose their weaknesses and shortcomings. They’re worried your talents and gifts will outshine theirs. In their efforts to make you feel inferior, they only make themselves more inferior.

4. Causes of Bullying:

Low Self-Esteem

Bullies have low self-esteem. And they often project their self-esteem issues onto others.

They also hold unrealistic, negative views of your morals. All the while, they think that their morals are superior to yours. Bullies will also end friendships with friends, even lifelong friends, who dare to have positive associations with you.

Many bullies love to virtue signal and trumpet their moral superiority. And they do it especially while comparing it to yours. Many bullies become social justice warriors and moral crusaders. But they only do this for show.

“Look at me. Look at all the good I’m doing for the world! I’m not a bully, I’m standing up for the downtrodden!”

5. The quest for power

Bullies will deliberately bring up offensive topics and attack others. They’ll especially attack you over your differences in values. They’ll shame you for your convictions and opinions.

Realize that moral superiority feels good- it’s empowering. Virtue signaling and moral crusading are often driven by low self-esteem and a desire to prove oneself.

Again, the unwritten message is, “Hey! Look at me! I’m fighting for justice, so I’m not such a bad person after all!” Bullies will say that the world sucks and needs to be changed.

And they’ll do it to send the message that they’re better than everyone else. In thinking that they’re better than everyone else, bullies get to avoid feeling so crappy about themselves.

6. Causes of Bullying:

Hypocrisy

Bullies can violate rules and laws because they think they’re exempt from them. However, if they ever see you do it, they’re quick to call you out and crucify you for it.

Bullies think that they can do any damn thing they want but nobody else should have that luxury. It’s an example of the self-entitlement and privilege these people think they have the right to bestow on themselves.

Bullies have highly needy egos, and the ego is the source of bullying, abuse, meanness, and hatred. They hate and want to hurt you because you are the antithesis of them.

7. The need for someone to take down

Bullies want to destroy you because they think that they will feel better afterwards. However, we know that they would only feel better for a little while. Then they would need to search for another victim.

Remember that Alexander the Great wept because there were no more worlds to conquer. In other words, he could no longer find a conquest. That’s what you are to your bullies, a conquest!

Therefore, once you are no longer available, your bullies will search for another victim. And if they can’t find one, they won’t know what to do with themselves.

Understand that bullies are psychop@ths. They love only themselves and have no regard for anyone else. Any morality and ethics they claim to have are only a mirage. And they hate anyone who dares not agree with their grandiose views of themselves.

Bullies are masters at faking the good guys. They lie without a conscience, saying anything they think will make them look good in the eyes of others.

8. Causes of bullying:

The need to look big

Bullies try to look intelligent, and it may work for a little while. However, they eventually end up doing or saying something to reveal their stupidity.

Bullies will flip-flop, saying one thing now, then saying the opposite later. And they do it thinking (or hoping like the devil) that others have forgotten what they said the first time.

And when you dare to call them out on their BS, they will throw a real monster of a tantrum. Moreover, they will attack you to try and shut you up.

9. The craving for admiration

Bullies are in constant need of praise. They expect people to uplift their egos and put them on a pedestal.

Bullies are simply hate-filled individuals who put on a farce of being good, upstanding people to win admiration, and with it, raw power.

Causes of Bullying:

In Closing

When you learn the tactics of these ego-driven creeps, only then will you be able to take back your power and send them packing!

So, I want you to know that if you ever find yourself in this kind of predicament, know that you did nothing wrong. Also, realize that it isn’t about you.

It’s about your bullies, their insecurities, and their own shattered egos. They are the ones with the issues. You, on the other hand, are a winner, and you are on the side of truth and right. Always remember that! So, stay confident and keep winning!

This post is all about the causes of bullying so that you will feel more confident just knowing that you don’t have to resort to your bullies’ kind of behavior to get through life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims? Here are Your Answers.

2. Jealousy and Bullying: 7 Proven Signs Your Bullies are Jealous

3. Confident Body Language: 11 Ways to Look Confident 

bullying and the fight or flight response system

Bullying and the Fight-or-Flight Response

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‘Want to know all about bullying and the fight or flight response? Here’s all the information you need to know.

bullying and the fight or flight response

When you suffer bullying, you automatically go into fight or flight mode.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying and the fight-or-flight response so that you can use this as cause when you defend yourself from bullying.

Once you learn all about this crucial information, you will be able to speak on your own behalf when you are called to the principal’s office or charged by police after a fight with a bully.

This post is all about bullying and the fight-or-flight response, so that you can have a good reason to defend yourself against any bully who corners you and attacks you.

Bullying and the Fight-or-Flight Response

Bullying and the fight-or-flight response go hand in hand.

According to the Psychology Tools website, “The fight or flight response is an automatic physiological reaction to an event that is perceived as stressful or frightening.

The perception of threat activates the sympathetic nervous system. It triggers an acute stress response that prepares the body to fight or flee. These responses are evolutionary adaptations to increase chances of survival in threatening situations.”

Any time bullies target a person with relentless bullying at work or school over an extended period of time, they force that person into a constant state of high alert. Although useful in short, immediate circumstances, this hyper-vigilance is unhealthy if the person remains in this state for too long. As a result, it causes stomach issues, headaches, and fatigue, among many other ailments.

Even worse, facing continuous danger can also cause the person to overreact in response to certain occurrences.

The Fight or Flight Response is Innate. Every Creature on earth has it.

Every living creature has an innate and perfectly natural physiological reaction in the event of a threat or attack. Called the Fight or Flight Response, it protects us from harm in dangerous situations.

And it does so by releasing adrenaline. When adrenaline is released into the blood, it’s nearly impossible not to do either of two things: fight or flee.

When others are consistently bullying and abusing you, escape is usually not an option. Your bullies will corner and surround you.

With flight cut off as an option, what do you have left? Fight! Long-term bullying can cause a person to live on this adrenaline every day, all day long.

All your aggressors have to do is come around you, and they can put your body and mind on constant alert. It’s a horrible way to live.

Getting on the school bus and walking through the school’s entrance can feel like a death march. Moreover, horrible headaches and violent nausea will plague you.

You may shake uncontrollably, and your palms may sweat. Also, you may feel a lump in your throat. All of these are signs of being in fight-or-flight mode.

For example, you may feel that lump in your throat when your bully boss calls you into his office. Or, you may even feel nauseated. If you’re in school and your bullies come near you, you may begin to shake uncontrollably.

Again, it’s only adrenaline pumping through you, preparing you for a possible fight.

Bullying and the fight-or-flight response:

You live in a constant state of survival mode.

Even teachers can join the other kids against you once they hear enough rumors and falsehoods that bullies spread about you. This can place you in a very lonely and heartbreaking position.

As time passes, the fear of going to school or work and facing your bullies grows. It’s like an infected tumor that grows bigger with each passing day. Your stomach draws up every morning when you walk out of your house.

The next eight hours are like walking through a minefield. You never know when your next step could be your last. Others begin bombarding you with a torrent of taunts, insults, and names. Or, they may start hitting, kicking, and shoving you.

It is a situation that seems endless, and to say you are afraid is an understatement. You are petrified.

Unless you have experienced it firsthand, you can’t imagine the fear. Also, there are health consequences of living in a perpetual state of fight or flight. The impact on your physical health may not be immediately apparent. However, it may rear its ugly head later in life.

But this doesn’t only happen in school; it also occurs in the workplace. What people once believed only happened to children and teens also happens to adults in the workplace. Bullying knows no age group.

superiors usually blame you for defending yourself.

You may get into serious trouble when the bullying finally escalates and becomes physical. Every day, school staff unjustly suspend or expel innocent students for defending themselves against unjust actions.  Moreover, managers in the workplace often terminate innocent employees for trying to protect themselves.

Bullying and the Fight-or-Flight Response:

But why do they usually punish you for self-defense?

It’s because bullies are talented at charming superiors and making them like them. They lie convincingly and make you look like the bad guy. Therefore, the higher-ups may punish you for nothing more than trying to protect yourself.

If, on the off chance, they do punish your bullies, they usually give them a mild reprimand. However, most bullies escape with impunity. This is because others typically side with the bullies, and you have no support whatsoever!

Just like all God’s creatures, you have this fight-or-flight instinct. And you have the right to defend yourself if you can’t run from an attack.

And when bullies are attacking you left and right, it’s up to you to take care of yourself. You cannot just stand there and let these creeps beat the living daylights out of you. You must fight back to keep from getting hurt!

Even animals have the fight-or-flight instinct.

For example, you corner a dog and kick it. And you keep kicking it. Sooner or later, that dog is going to bite you! It’s all a part of nature. Humans also have the right to self-defense.

People can’t expect you to roll over and let bullies have their way with you. They should expect you to fight back if you can’t run.

Bullying and the Human Stress Response go hand in hand. Why? Because bullying automatically activates this response in targets. Whenever bullies accost you, your body instinctively goes into survival mode.

Therefore, the automatic response is either to fight or flee. But what happens when your body stays in that state due to long-term bullying?

Bullying and the Fight-or-Flight Response:

the sympathetic nervous system.

According to the Cleveland Clinic website, “Your sympathetic nervous system is a network of nerves that helps your body activate its fight-or-flight response. This system’s activity increases when you’re stressed, in danger, or physically active.

Its effects include increasing your heart rate and breathing ability. It also improves your eyesight and slows down processes like digestion.

After so long, bullying can screw up your Sympathetic Nervous System. It can cause you confusion and emotional numbness.

Moreover, the constant bullying puts the fight-or-flight response into overdrive. After bullies have bullied you for so long, adverse changes in the victim’s brain begin to occur. Your brain rewires itself to prepare for a hostile environment.

You come to expect threats. Your first instinct is flight. If flight isn’t possible, then you go into fight mode. When this happens, the logical brain shuts down and the primal brain takes over.

And when that part of your brain is turned on all the time, your mind starts to decline.

what long-term bullying does to mental health

Long-term bullying affects your decision-making and emotional control the most. Why? Because your mind is in a constant state of survival mode.

Moreover, you lose your cognitive abilities, ability to control emotions, and ability to think clearly and rationally. Once this happens, it will blind you to any alternatives to your situation.

This is why you will often snap and do irrational things when the pressure of bullying builds to the breaking point. And, because children’s brains are still developing, kids stand a higher chance of damage to the mind and the sympathetic nervous system.

Bullying and the Fight-or-Flight Response:

People cannot thrive in a bullying environment.

Relentless bullying can cause a child or teen to lose the ability to discern and make choices to get them to safety due to their brain’s negative changes. Look up Pavlov’s dogs and you’ll see what I mean.

If this is happening to you at work, you must find a way to leave the toxic environment and find employment elsewhere. If you’re a parent and you know your child is being bullied, you must help them transfer.

A new learning environment will help their minds begin to heal and restore their ability to make good decisions. Moreover, their cognitive and reasoning abilities will also improve.

Remember that a plant cannot thrive in a climate of no sunlight or water. And neither can human beings grow in a hostile environment of bullying and abuse.

This post was all about bullying and the fight-or-flight response, so that you can use it to justify self-defense. This post will also help you to recognize when it’s time to TRANSFER YOUR CHILD, IF you are a parent of a bullied child.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Self-Preservation Instinct: Defending Yourself from Bullies is Okay!

2. Fight Flight Freeze Fawn: 4 Stress Responses of Bullying Victims

3. The Bullied Brain: 7 Ways Bullying Effects Mental Health

4. Bullying Survival Mode: 5 Things Victims of Bullying Do Wrong

tearing the mask off the bully at work

Tearing the Mask off the Bully: 3 Tools That Build Their Facade

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Tearing the mask off the bully isn’t easy. Therefore, do you want to know the real people behind the fake facades bullies put up? Here are all the details you need to know.

tearing the mask off the bully

The reality for many victims of bullying is that they seem to be the only person in the world who knows the real people behind the masks their bullies wear.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to tear the mask of the bully so that you can not only expose them for the creeps they are, but also preserve your good name and ensure your safety.

Once you learn all about this game-changing information, you will be able to easily expose bullies who try to play victim and use charm to fool others.

This post is all about tearing the mask off the bully so that you can expose your bullies and ensure your safety.

Tearing the mask of the bully

Realizing the truth about your bully is not always easy. Sadly, it seems that the more fake a person appears to be, the more others adore them. On the other hand, the more real a person is, the more others hate them.

The reason for this is that the truth scares most folks. The truth is uncomfortable, even painful. As the old quote goes, “It’s much easier to fool others than to convince them that they’ve been fooled.”

Bullies have a way of using seductive charm and drawing others to them. They have a knack for making others like, even love them. These individuals are exceptionally skilled at forming connections with everyone.

Bullies will agree with everyone on anything and tell others what they want to hear. They say all the right things at the right times. They’re the best actors in the business, and sometimes it’s hard to see the snake behind the charm.

This is how workplace bullies get promoted in the workplace. It’s how school bullies become the teacher’s pets and the school’s sacred cows. It’s how bullies are liked and yes, even loved by unsuspecting others.

Bullies Thrive on Deception

It’s frustrating, isn’t it? When you know a person is fake, yet others think they’re the best thing since sliced bread?

The person is evil, manipulative, and lies without a conscience, yet nobody knows it but you. Why? Because you’re the only one who sees that side of them.

You notice the real person behind the facade of charisma, smiles, and waves. Plain as day, you watch them take pleasure in hurting others and ruining lives. At the same time, these bullies have a talent for sucking everyone else in by their fakery.

For example, A high school bully boy beats up a smaller kid on the ball field. As a result, all the girls who watch from the bleachers love him for it.

Or, maybe the bully gropes an innocent girl in the hallway. And he does it, knowing that she clearly does not want them touching her.

But, sadly, the female admirers who hang with them only laugh and signal approval. After all, the girl the creep groped is “a slut who was asking for it.” Right?

You can almost see what they’re thinking as you watch their eyes and their body language.

“Wow! What a man!”

Tearing the mask off the bully:

Bullies can don their masks but Can’t Survive Without Putting Someone Else Down

Take, for instance, the workplace bully. She seems so in control, so smart, and so attractive when she’s berating another employee for a minor mistake. Or, maybe she’s attacking another, more talented person to undermine their abilities.

These are the type of folks who are blind to their own selfishness. They tell lie after lie and ruin life after life.

They lack consideration for others and aren’t responsible for their own screw-ups. However, they have no qualms about pointing out the mistakes and imperfections of others.  Additionally, they have no problem projecting their issues onto someone else.

What’s even more baffling is that you’d think that once this creep dumps on enough people, others would begin to see through their smokescreens. However!

Au contraire! Some of them keep going back after being dumped on, only to have the bully rub it in. It’s enough to make you sick.

The Idiocy of The Bully’s Followers

You may try to warn others about the real person behind the facade. Also, you may defend yourself when they attack you, but others take their word and their side over yours.

Moreover, you hear others talk, saying what a fine, upstanding person the bully is. Furthermore, they don’t know the person. You and only a few others know. Therefore, it’s hard to bite your tongue when you hear it.

The bully can be so horribly evil that if he stood side by side with the devil himself, you’d have a hard time distinguishing between the two. Furthermore, this person puts on the pathetic but convincing act of being bullied when they’re the ones doing the bullying.

It’s amazing how easily the people around you are fooled! But realize that not only the bully, but the weak and gullible followers who enable the bully, need professional help.

Tearing the mask of the bully:

Those Who Surround the Bully are Followers, Nothing More.

Understand that these bullies are toxic souls and wastes of space. They’re the people who struggle to maintain a relationship. Eventually, these bullies get a little too prideful, a little too bold…then they get sloppy!

They screw up somehow, the mask falls off, and finally! Everyone sees their true colors!

I’ve seen this happen, and I won’t lie to you. It gave me a sense of justice, and I was ecstatic when I watched them fall. Karma is a booger!

3 Ingredients Bullies Use to Build Their Image of Perfection

We all know that bullies are cowards who hide behind a facade. But what makes that facade? What are the exact ingredients that make up the bully’s facade?

Bullies are like peacocks. They like to strut around and fan out their tails, displaying their most vibrant colors.

And they do this to collect admirers, followers, and allies. That’s exactly what the bully’s facade is used for. And bullies are skilled at deceiving their peers into believing that they’re perfect and untouchable.

Only you know what’s behind the masks. Victims know the real personalities these masks hide. So, again, what exactly are the ingredients that bullies use to build their carefully crafted facades and promote those fake images?

1. Tearing the Mask off the Bully:

Impeccable Attire.

Most seasoned and well-practiced bullies dress in the best and latest fashions. These creeps love to be pleasing to the eyes.

Why? Because they understand that most humans are materialistic and obsessed with beauty. They also understand that everything is based on appearances.

So, they wear the fanciest clothes, the trendiest hairstyles, and the sexiest makeup.

They showcase these things to present themselves in the best possible light. Moreover, they give the impression that they’re rolling in money and have the perfect life, all to impress others. Most of all, bullies do it to make themselves appear better than others.

Many of them don’t have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out. Not that being poor makes a person bad, but!

Most bullies will go flat broke buying fancy clothes and sporty cars to pimp around town in to keep up a fake persona. And they’ll be up to their eyeballs in debt.

As a result, many of these types constantly struggle to pay or fail to pay their bills.

They’re the types who will run to mommy and daddy for bailouts and handouts. Yet they continue to spend a fortune on clothes, hairstyles, manicures, pedicures, facials, cosmetic surgeries, and more.

Facades are challenging to maintain.

Many workplace bullies have committed crimes such as theft, embezzlement, and forgery. All because they lived way beyond their means. They got their butts in a crack they couldn’t get out of. And they got caught!

2. Tearing the mask off the Bully:

They put on a good show.

Seasoned bullies are also the best showmen. They put on an act to gain admiration, support, or sympathy.

They make grand gestures. They’re skilled at reading people and determining their likes and dislikes, as well as deciphering how they react to various stimuli. They are fully aware of the people and moods around them and adapt to them.

You’ll often find these bullies standing in the very center of the rooms they’re in. Also, they’re the types who despise being outshone, outsmarted, or outdone.

3. Bullies are master wordsmiths.

They use clichés, euphemisms, and loaded words to impress others with their speech. They also use big words to prove how smart they are when, in reality, they’re as incompetent as they come.

And they tell others what they want to hear and say everything with conviction. This is why bullies are such convincing liars and so good at making you look like the bad guy.

But here’s something else you need to know.

Although seasoned bullies are very popular among people, they’re also hated and feared by rivals and enemies. And they do eventually get brought down. I’ve seen it happen many times.

Julius Caesar was one such example.

“Caesar had his Brutus and Charles I, his Cromwell…” – Patrick Henry.

Abraham Lincoln quoted, “You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time. But you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.”

You can easily outsmart and expose bullies. It just takes strategy.

Eventually, the masks fall off and facades crack. Facades and just those. Facades! And no matter how much the bully may play the victim and put on fronts, others eventually find them out!

This post was all about tearing the mask off the bully to assure you that bullies always end up being discovered for who they are.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullies and Victim-Mentality: 9 Behaviors of Bullies Who Play Victim

2. How to Outsmart a Bully: 1 Proven Strategy.

3.  How to Outsmart Bullies: 4 Unconventional Ways to Do So

4. 7 Secrets to Instantly Expose Bullies

mobbing in schools reddit

Mobbing in Schools: 9 Warning Signs Bullying is Out of Control

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The subject of workplace mobbing is common but we barely hear or read about mobbing in schools. Sadly, it happens a lot more than we know. If you want to know the warning signs that bullying at school has progressed to mobbing, read further.

mobbing in schools

Bullying can become chronic when the bullying has gone on over time.  Also, it tends to escalate until it reaches to dangerous levels and epic proportions.

In this post, you will learn about mobbing in schools and all the warning signs that the bullying you suffer at school has gotten out of control.

Once you learn about all these symptoms, you will know that you’re, in fact, being mobbed. Also, you will better be able to make the right decisions and take the right steps to ensure your safety.

This post is all about mobbing in schools so that you can understand what’s happening to you and take the appropriate measures to protect yourself from further harm.

mobbing in schools

Before we get into the warning signs, let’s further explain this type of bullying so that you can get a better understanding of what you or someone you know is dealing with.

Chronic Bullying (bullying that has lasted for over a year) has a strong chance of progressing to mobbing. Several people have described mobbing as bullying on steroids.

Bullying becomes mobbing once bullies have skyrocketed the torment and begun pursuing their targets obsessively and non-stop. Moreover, you bullies’ behavior has gone ignored and unaddressed by authority.

As a result, your bullies have now become so brazen that their actions have grown in strength, frequency, and cruelty over several years.

Now, it seems that everyone is bullying you for everything. Furthermore, the apathy they hold has grown such that the only feelings they have for you are fury and blind hatred.

In other words, the entire student body, even several teachers lose all humanity toward you.

The prevailing attitude is that anything they do to you, no matter how cruel or how dangerous is a good thing. Why? Because, in their minds, you have no value as a human being, and you life is worth nothing.

mobbing in schools: the entire student body, even several teachers lose all humanity toward you.

People who bully to these extremes usually have tons of followers and minions backing them. And they enlist members of their following to do their dirty work. It is when the bullying becomes so significant, so ingrained, and so severe that it seemingly takes on a life of its own.

The bullies and the vast majority of the school are seemingly drunk on hate. Moreover, the bullying and torment of you seem to be all they can focus on.

Instead of the bullies (and virtually everyone else) controlling their evil emotions and actions, their feelings and actions begin to control them. The alumni are seemingly enslaved by hatred and blinded by senseless rage.

They have become so addicted to power and control that the torture they inflict is constant. Put another way, they can’t get enough of the high this power gives them.

Therefore, realize that, in a case of school mobbing, the bullying has progressed beyond disrespect and ridicule. Moreover, your classmates don’t see you as an equal nor do they see you as a little bit different.

They see you as so worthless that you don’t deserve to breathe the same air as them. In fact, many of them may feel you don’t even deserve to breathe at all!

This is why school mobbing is so dangerous because you run the chance of either breaking and dying by suicide or being murdered by someone at school.

In short, the intense hatred and blind rage of your school mates and a few staff reach levels of derangement!

It seems that everyone at school has become deranged.

Derangement happens when the hatred and outrage toward you reaches a fever pitch. Also, for everyone else, the unwritten rule becomes to believe the lies about you or to act like it. Why? Because their safety depends on it!

To keep from becoming targets themselves, everyone outside the bully/victim relationship must believe the lies without question or without even blinking!

Moreover, they must believe it as long as it’s negative. And the more negative and condemning the rumors, the better and more suiting and convenient.

People will also believe the lies, no matter how ridiculous they may sound. Therefore, anytime you hear lies that sound absolutely and utterly absurd to any rational and sane person, that’s when you know that derangement has taken hold!

In short, if you’re a target of other peoples derangement, you are, in a sense, burned in effigy!

9 Warning signs of mobbing in schools

1. Others seem to jump at the chance to diminish anything positive about you.

If  you do a good deed that is either visible or gets positive recognition, others in the school will only disregard it and make statements such as:

  • “She’s only trying to score brownie points, kiss ass, (etc.).”
  • “Haha! He’s just doing that because he thinks it’s going to get him on everyone’s good side!”

When the target reaches a success, others will only rain on it, saying things like:

  • “Oh, God! Anyone could’ve accomplished that!”
  • “He’s trying to show out! He thinks he’s so special!”
  • “She only did that to make herself look good.”

2. People in the school are open with their brutality against the target.

Bullies, their followers, and any other bystander who wants to join in the mistreatment won’t even try to hide it anymore. Why?

Because they know that those in authority won’t do anything about it. Therefore, staff have insulated them from any accountability.

Any abuse toward you is widely accepted, encouraged, and even celebrated!

Moreover, they know that if anyone even dares to speak out for you or help you, that person will suffer mobbing right along with you.

Therefore, know that when others openly abuse you, it’s gotten to a very dangerous level! You might even wonder what they’re likely to do to you next if they can brutalize you so openly.

3. Warning signs of mobbing in schools. People in the toxic environment are blinded by their own hatred of you.

In other words, schoolmates don’t know why they hate you so intensely. They just do.

If anyone on the outside were to ask them what you did or said to them to make them hate you so much, they either wouldn’t be able to answer them at all. Also, they would throw just any ridiculous answer out there, without having the goods to back it up.

Moreover, they’ll hope to the heavens that the person asking is lazy and won’t press the issue further, or worse- (gasp!) challenge them to provide evidence that you’re such a despicable and deplorable person.

They’ll use ad hominem responses such as:

  • “Because she’s just a bitch and I hate her”
  • “Because I just hate the bitch!”
  • “Because he just rubs me the wrong way!”
  • “Because he’s a jerk and a know-it-all!”

And be prepared for your haters to viciously attack the person asking the questions. Why? Because the person asking the questions poses the threat of making them look like the demonic monsters they are!

4. These people will be intensely angry each time anything positive comes your way.

For example, if you win an award, they may not say it to you, but you’ll see it in their faces and body language. They also may talk through their teeth to one another as their eyes blaze at you.

5. They’ll try to destroy your good mood because they’ll hate the possibility that you might be happy and feel good.

If they see you so much as laugh or crack a smile, here are a few responses you’re likely to hear from them:

  • “What the hell are you laughing about!”
  • “What the @&%# are you smiling about!”
  • “What have you got to be so happy about, bitch!”
  • “Shut up, asshole! You laugh like a hyena!”
  • “I don’t see anything funny!”
  • “I wish she’d wipe that goofy smile off her face!”

6. warning signs of mobbing in schools: Your classmates will shout you down and tell you to shut up, every time you even look like you’re about to open your mouth.

Understand that, in their minds, you don’t deserve to be heard, nor have the right to speak.

7. They’ll all rise against you when you defend yourself.

When you have “the audacity” to stand up to them, they’ll punish you for it.  In other words, once you assert your right not to be abused, they will all gang up on you.

They’ll try to gaslight you into believing you asked for the abuse. Moreover, your schoolmates will smear you to others.

If that doesn’t silence you, the next step is a brutal physical attack. Always! If they can’t bring you down emotionally, they will do it physically and no one will jump in to help you. I’ve seen this happen and have had it happen to me.

8. They will watch you like a hawk.

Understand that they and everyone else in the bullying environment will be watching you very closely- looking for a reason to attack you. In other words, they’ll wait for you to screw up even the tiniest bit!

They will then beat you down with your mistake and never let you hear the end of it.

Realize that these people are only looking for the slightest infraction to maximize and use against you. They will twist, spin, or add to the most trivial thing you do that’s not quite right to make it bigger and more severe.

For example, if you do something as minuscule as knocking over a glass of milk, others will make it into a Federal case and they’ll swear you did it deliberately.

9. warning signs of mobbing in schools: You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

In other words, if they see you talking to a potential date, they’ll swear up and down you’re trying to get laid. But if you happen to be saving yourself for your wedding night, they’ll only call you a prude.

If you take one sip of wine, they’ll call you a sloppy, fall-down drunk. But if you don’t drink, they’ll call you a party-pooper or a stick in the mud. They’ll make statements like, “Well, he just doesn’t know how to have a good time!”

In conclusion

You must realize that when it gets this bad and seems to permeate the whole of the environment, the hatred and contempt for you reaches such a crescendo that it’s has turned into mass mental illness in those around you.

Therefore, at this point, it more than likely won’t get better. It will only get worse until either one of them murders you or forces you to do it yourself.

At this juncture, the best thing you can do for yourself is to run! These people are dangerous and you must get as far away from them and stay away! Keep these schoolmates out of your life because these are people you’ll never be safe around!

 It may or may not be feasible. But find a way to transfer to another school or convince your parents to move to another area. Maybe ask them to allow you to go live with an aunt or uncle in another school district.

The only way you’ll ever find peace is to leave without telling anyone. Only then will you be safe and have peace of mind. Moreover, you will get to start fresh in a new place, where you can finally relax and be yourself.

This post was all about mobbing in schools and signs of it so that you will finally know what to do if you even face that situation.

Related posts you’ll enjoy

1. Bullying by Teachers in School: 7 Steps to Protect Yourself

2. School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids!

3. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

4. Bullies in School: 5 Ways They Tell Off on Themselves Without Realizing It

5. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

Punished for Defending Yourself: What You Can Do

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Want to know why you get punished for defending yourself and what you can do? Here are all the details you need to know.

punished for defending yourself

Sadly, many victims of bullying end up getting punished for defending themselves. Therefore, in this post, you will learn why you get punished for defending yourself if you’re a victim of bullying. Also, you will learn what you can do about it.

Once you learn all this vital information, you will be able to push back effectively and protect your right to self-preservation.

This post is all about why you get punished for defending yourself and what you can do to assert your rights to safety.

Punished for Defending Yourself

You can take a lot of crap from bullies and no one else says a word. However, once you get sick of the bullshit and begin defending yourself, suddenly, they are surprised! But not only are they surprised, they’re pissed off.

It’s like, “How dare you,” and “Who do you think you are!” That is essentially what everyone else thinks once you stand up to bullies.

Bullies not only CONDITION you to Accept Bigger and More Severe Abuses, they condition bystanders to get comfortable with seeing it.

Gradualism and Incrementalism- drop by drop, bullies start by taking teeny-weeny bites out of your self-esteem. They take it up ever so slowly and step by itsy-bitsy step.

In fact, they escalate it so slowly and so subtly that it isn’t noticeable. Yet you feel that something is off and that something doesn’t feel good. But you can’t quite put a finger on it. It’s that subtle!

But here’s your first clue: Your body will know if you pay attention to it. When you meet your bullies for the first time, you will pick up some pretty creepy vibes from these people, and you’ll feel it in the pit of your stomach.

You’ll sense something about these creeps that feels “off.” And sometimes, you’ll feel it before the first words are exchanged. You will sense them watching your every move, scoping you out, studying you like a specimen.

You may look up from whatever you’re doing or turn around. Then you’ll see, out of the corner of your eye, a few of these people eyeing you from a distance.

Then you’ll see them look at each other and smirk. And, when they do, you’ll also notice that eerie twinkle in their eyes. You might even notice a micro-flash or two of contempt. Don’t ignore this!

Understand that these bullies are sizing you up and probing to see how you respond or react. But, more importantly, these bullies are slowly conditioning you and everyone else that it is normal for them to bully you.

Punished for Defending Yourself:

Bullies Always size you up at first.

Next, bullies start committing slightly bigger violations. Understand that bullies do this deliberately to soften you. Again, they start by making the abuse almost unrecognizable. That is, until it isn’t anymore.

By the time you recognize it, the abuse is so out of control that your bullies can’t help themselves. And they don’t even try to hide it anymore.

Why continue to put in the work to hide something you’ve gotten away with for so long that there’s no incentive to stop? Right?

By the time the abuse becomes obvious, it’s usually too late because everyone has grown accustomed to bullying you. And once they’ve grown accustomed to it, it’s almost impossible for you to get them to leave you alone, no matter what you do to protect yourself.

Therefore, when you finally get fed up and begin asserting yourself, bullies and everyone else become outraged. You must understand that they don’t give a crap about your pain. Why? Because you’re their target and they intend for you to stay that way.

They get a psychological reward from bullying you. And hell will freeze over before they give that up. This is why, at this stage, bullies respond with anger and resentment when you finally stand up to them.

Bullies have big egos. And when ego is involved, bullies become offended when someone they deem inferior finally develops a backbone. Therefore, they’ll do everything they can to break your will. And they’ll do it to keep getting their sick, sadistic jollies.

The unspoken message is, “How dare you take away our fun!”

Punished for defending yourself:

This is why you should always put a stop to it in the early stages.

Conditioning always starts small. Therefore, you must stand up to it in the early stages. You must know how to recognize it when it is barely recognizable.

Why? Because the longer bullying goes on, the more severe the abuses become. And the bigger the violations get, the harder it is to defend yourself and put a stop to it. I can’t stress this enough!

And how you recognize it is by listening to your body, because your body will feel it. You’ll also sense it in the vibes the people put out. So, pay close attention.

Bullies Want You TO BE Dependent on their approval.

Deep down, many targets are brainwashed into thinking that they must depend on their bullies for something. It’s true. I know this leaves you scratching your head. You may ask, “Depend on bullies? For what?”

Your bullies want you to be dependent on their approval and acceptance. They want to have control over your ability to meet people and make friends. In short, they want to have power over your social life.

It’s how they keep you begging for it. They dangle carrots of acceptance to keep you under their thumb and doing what they want you to do.

Punished for Defending Yourself:

Domestic Abusers Do the same to their PARTNERS.

Think about it. Domestic abusers do the same to their abused partners. They keep them dependent to maintain control and domination over them.

Only spousal abusers keep their victims dependent on financial resources. How? They do so by controlling the purse strings. They withhold money from them. Also, they shut down opportunities for the partner to make their own money by forbidding them from working.

Another control tactic of the spousal abuser is cutting the partner off from their family and friends. They do this to cut their partner off from any support they may get from them.

Again, know the early signs of bullying and abuse. If you defend yourself in the early stages, others are less likely to punish you for it.

Why? Because they haven’t gotten comfortable with seeing others bullying you yet.

Abuse is abuse, whether it comes in the form of bullying in school or the workplace, or domestic abuse in the home.

Oppressive Governments do the same to their CONSTITUENCIES. 

Socialist and Communist governments also do the same to their citizenry. They manipulate events and media narratives. Moreover, they deliberately crash their countries’ economies to force the people to become dependent on them.

They even set up terrorist regimes to beat any dissenters into submission and burn their homes and businesses. This is nothing new. Those in power have used these tactics throughout history!

And they have done it solely to wrest control of the people’s behavior, thoughts, and very lives. Why? Because if you can keep someone dependent on you, you can make rules for them to follow.

In other words, you can tell them what to do and have complete domination over their lives. You can also force them to put up with the most unspeakable and evil of abuses. And you can silence them by keeping them in a state of fear.

You can make them afraid that you will withdraw whatever it is they need from you. With bullies, it is approval, acceptance, and the ability to make friends with others. With spousal abusers, it is love, money, or even food and medicine to keep you alive.

And with government despots, it’s basic needs like food, water, and other vital resources. And they can have complete control over every aspect of your life if they can keep you dependent on them for your very safety and survival.

Again, it always starts small. So, defend yourself before others have time to grow accustomed to it. This way, you won’t wait too long and get punished for it.

Punished for Defending Yourself:

Bullies will strip you of freedom and autonomy if you let them.

Understand that when control freaks use these methods of control, they strip you of your freedom and autonomy. They keep you too afraid to be your own person and exercise your human rights.

Also, they take away your ability to speak freely, be creative with your life, and flourish. They also keep you too afraid to stand up to them, call them out on their abuse, and assert your God-given right not to be controlled and abused.

The controlling person does this by keeping you under the threat that they will retaliate and unleash even worse pain on you if you disobey or step out of line.

The problem with this is that bullies, abusers, and oppressive governments only get drunk on their power. You can never satisfy them, and they can never get enough power. They must always up the ante and take more and more control.

Reasons You Get Punished for Defending yourself

Here’s something you need to realize. In your bullies’ minds, you’re only here for their convenience, their purpose, their agenda, and their pleasure. Never your own.

They need you to stay powerless. In other words, they need the scales of power to keep tipping in their favor.

Therefore, when you defend yourself against a bully, you automatically restore the balance of power. In other words, you reclaim your power. You snatch back the very thing your bullies are trying to keep from you.

When this happens, your bullies panic! Why? Because they feel that if they lose power over you, they’ll lose power over everyone else.

As a result, they will lose face. The bullies will lose respect, credibility, allies, and support. Then, they will become the bullied.

Bullies fear becoming targets.

Bullies have an obsessive fear of going from hunters to the hunted. And why not? You aren’t the only person they’ve bullied. There were many others before you. Moreover, bullies know all too well that most average people hate people like them.

They also know that most love to see bullies get their comeuppance. And once someone brings a bully down, no one will ever allow that bully to get up again.

This is why bullies will go to great lengths to keep you under control. If they cannot control you, they control nothing. Most people are still under the presumption that victims are weak. Therefore, if a victim stands up to a bully, others will see that and the bully will be at everyone else’s mercy.

Others will look at the failed bully and think, “Wow! If he can’t handle a wimp like them, then he really couldn’t handle me! This is a juicy opportunity! I can punk this creep out so easily!”

The bully then becomes the new man on the bottom. Gasp! Because if they can’t overpower the person who’s deemed the weakest link in the bunch, then they become the new weakest link! Ouch! Talk about a humbling situation!

Punished for Defending Yourself:

Bullies fear becoming the new man on the bottom.

Therefore, the bully and everyone else punish you for daring to defend yourself once the bullying reaches the late stages. And with each provocation from the bully and each counter you deliver, the more determined they are to tip the scales of power back in their favor.

With your counter jab comes pain and humiliation for bullies. Therefore, the human reflex is always to punish or eliminate the cause of that pain and humiliation.

When you stand up to a bully, they feel vulnerable because you just upset that power imbalance. Therefore, the bully punishes you to restore the power imbalance.

What do you do?

In a situation like this, you have three choices: either keep defending yourself with counterattacks or give up and feel even worse about yourself later. Or, you can leave the toxic environment altogether.

My advice is to defend yourself. However, you must punish the bully so severely that they won’t ever want to mess with you again. You must give the bully a traumatic memory they never want to relive.

It’s the only way they will stop. And if you can’t do this, then the next best thing to do is to remove yourself from the environment and relocate to a place where you can live in peace.

This post is all about what happens when you’re punished for defending yourself and what you can do about it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses 

2. Self-Preservation Instinct: Defending Yourself from Bullies is Okay!

3. The 4 Stages of Bullying 

4. Bullying and Psychological Conditioning 

5. Conditioning: 5 Signs You’re Being Conditioned 

when the bullied become bullies later

When the Bullied Become Bullies

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‘Want to know what happens when the bullied become bullies? Here are all the mechanics of it that you need to know.

when the bullied become bullies

It’s too easy to become a bully yourself when you’re a victim of bullying. It’s just too easy!

After others have abused you for so long, you search for ways to take the edge off the pain. You search for any band-aid, as long as it takes away some of the pain, even if it’s only temporary.

Most of all, you search for ways to take back some of the power that they have taken from you.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what happens when the bullied become the bullies. Also, you will how they do so that you will recognize it if it happens to you.

Once you learn all about these details, you will be able to catch it before you become an abuser and begin working on yourself so that you don’t become one.

This post is all about what happens when the bullied become bullies and how they become aggressors, so that you can make sure that it doesn’t happen to you, too.

When the Bullied Become Bullies

Sadly, many targets become bullies themselves because they’re just plain tired of feeling powerless. They want to have control over something- or someone!

We all want to be in control of something because to have power over nothing is the very definition of hell!

It’s hard to feel empathy when you’re being bullied by everyone.

When you’re a victim of bullying, people often accuse you of being selfish and out for your interests. However, anytime people bully you, the pain of it only blunts your capacity to feel for others.

In other words, any time you suffer severe abuse long-term, your pain overrides any ability to empathize with those around you, who may also be hurting.

It’s like lying in the emergency room after a car accident with both legs broken. The pain is so intense that you couldn’t care less about the patient in the next room.

All you’re thinking of is how soon a doctor will see you and give you something for pain.

For instance, you’re a teenager and you’re mistreated in high school. Two classmates die in a horrific car accident. You may not admit it. But, chances are that you probably won’t care less.

Now, you probably won’t feel the same later. However, right now, you just don’t give a damn. You have no feeling for them because they bullied you when they were alive.

Moreover, you may think that the two bitches got what was coming to them. You’ll even feel a sense of sweet justice. Even worse, you may wish for a few more of them to drop dead soon.

Nevertheless, if your class picks on you badly and for long enough, you probably won’t even have it in you to care.

This is why it’s important to get out of the environment. And you must leave before the bullying you suffer has time to harden your heart.

When the Bullied Become Bullies:

When people mistreat you, you soon turn cold.

After people jerk you around long enough, you withdraw from others and put up a barrier. Next, you turn mean and begin to harden yourself just to numb feelings of rejection and the pain that comes with it.

Before long, you look at the feelings and suffering of others with indifference. Again, you just don’t give a damn about anyone, how they feel or what they think.

Moreover, you no longer have any respect for others, much less yourself. Lastly, you come to that evil place where schadenfreude takes hold, and you secretly take pleasure in seeing others, especially those you despise, suffer.

In short, you turn cold and unfeeling. And it only brings resentment from people who might otherwise offer love and support.

being tormented can make you powerless if you let it.

And nothing makes you powerless like having people abuse you left and right. Especially if they get physical!

When you’re constantly picked on, you feel powerless. So, you’ll do anything, and I mean anything, to have some semblance of power.

You learn very quickly to become a bully yourself to reclaim that power. Because you’re being tormented, you find others to torment. You learn that, to stay off the bottom of the pecking order, you must find victims of your own to degrade and humiliate.

Often, bullied children and teens feel helpless. They feel that they have no control over anything in their lives. Therefore, they become aggressors to feel some sense of power and control over something.

When the Bullied become Bullies:

Crap Rolls Downhill and Lands on the bottom.

They often mistreat others who are even more powerless than they are. And they do it just to make themselves feel better. Crap always rolls downhill and lands at the bottom.

Therefore, no one wants to be at the bottom of the social hierarchy. Some people fight to stay on top.  However, others fight just as hard to stay off the bottom.

For example, a child gets yelled at by parents, then goes outside and kicks the dog. It is the same with most victims. You’ve got to have control over something.

In Mistreating you, They teach you to torment others.

Your bullies teach you that bullying another person is what you must do to feel good about yourself. Moreover, they teach you that it’s what it takes to climb the social ladder.

You think, “Why not? It’s keeping my bullies off the bottom, so it should keep  me off it too.”

I tell you this because I did the same thing. And I’m sorry to admit this. I allowed my tormentors to change me from a caring, loving child to a vicious teenager.

I had become someone I no longer recognized. I had once been friendly and accepting of everyone, regardless of what they had. And now, I was this cruel and mean human being.

I was beautiful to look at. But I was ugly as hell on the inside. Because others judged me, I judged others. Because I was being bullied, I began bullying others.

And how did I learn to do that? My bullies taught me! And they taught me by doing the same to me.

Even worse, I was cunning with it. There were times when I got caught and was punished. However, there were more times when I avoided accountability.

When the Bullied become Bullies:

You sow discord because you become jealous of others’ friendships. 

I got my kicks out of seeing others’ friendships end. At different times in high school, I instigated fights between other people. Then, I stood back and watched the results of my handiwork.

And I did it proudly! I enjoyed watching the two girls that I had very stealthily turned against each other. They would duke it out while I laughed inside while and hid it with a false look of concern.

I had no real friendships. So, I wanted to destroy other people’s friendships to feel like I was not the only one.  It was better to have someone else suffering along with me than to suffer alone.

But here’s the problem. Bullies are weak, cowardly, and pathetic. So, I was no better than they were. I was worse than they were because I knew firsthand how it felt. I knew better, but I did it anyway.

Today, I’m sorry for the way I treated those victims.

Take it from someone who’s tried it. If you mistreat others, you may get a rush of power. However, it won’t last long. It wears off quickly. Then, you’ll be back to square one.

And if you don’t typically bully, it will only eat away at your conscience! Therefore, set boundaries so that you won’t feel the need to bully others.

Why not make friends with other victims? Be a Buddy to them, not a bully!

And, instead of tormenting other victims, align with them. Become their friend and their protector. I guarantee you! You’ll feel much better about yourself.

More importantly, you’ll make a positive difference in their lives, and there’s no better feeling than that!

You’ll help uplift them. And you’ll make them feel better about themselves! Heck! You might even save a life!

Today, droves of victims are dying by suicide. If you could be the difference between someone ending their life and deciding that life’s worth living? Wouldn’t that feel great? Knowing you kept someone from taking their life?

It’s more rewarding than you realize! Knowing that you were possibly the difference that kept that person from ending their own life is a feeling so wonderful, words can’t describe it! I promise you!

So, if you know that someone is weaker than you, give them strength by being a friend. If you know someone else who people abuse just like they do you, align with them. Why? Because they need a friend, and so do you. You can’t lose!

This post is all about what happens when the bullied become bullies so that you can be a buddy instead of a bully yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Physical Bullying Information: 5 Must-Know Secrets Bullies Don’t Want You to Know 

2. Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some 

3. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

4. Bullying by Teachers in School: 7 Steps to Protect Yourself

bullying and trauma symptoms

Bullying and Trauma

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Bullying and trauma go hand in hand. ‘Want to know how bullying causes trauma? Here is a list of trauma symptoms that bullying causes that you must know about.

bullying and trauma

You don’t have to be a combat soldier or veteran to have PTSD. Victims and survivors of rape and incest can develop it. Targets and survivors of severe bullying and abuse can also have it.

In this post, you will learn all about bullying and trauma. You will also learn about the symptoms of trauma that are caused by bullying.

Once you learn about these informative topics, you will be better equipped to recognize trauma and seek the help you need.

This post is all about bullying and trauma, so that you can recognize it in yourself and a bullied loved one and know when to get help.

Bullying and Trauma

Although many people survive and, better yet, overcome whatever or whoever tried to harm them, it still leaves scars on their psyches. Therefore, your ability to regulate emotions is deeply affected, as is your ability to find stability, happiness, joy, love, and intimacy.

I know this from firsthand experience.

If you’re anything like I was back in the 1990s, during my twenties, all it takes is for someone to stare or look at you the wrong way. Then, you’ll ask them very belligerently what their major malfunction is.

Moreover, if someone gets in your face, approaches you in a threatening manner, or does anything to provoke you, you’ll do one of two things:

You’ll get away from the person, or you’ll do what I did: put up your fists and dare them to try something.

So, what are the bullying and trauma symptoms?

1. Hyper-Vigilance

When you’re hyper-vigilant, you constantly stay on guard for whatever it is that threatened you in the past. Therefore, if you were a victim of bullying, you should consistently watch out for bullies. Also, you’re determined that no one will ever bully you again.

Constantly having to watch your back can get exhausting. Therefore, find a therapist. If you can’t find one, talk to a trusted friend or family member. If that isn’t possible, write it down in a journal or diary.

The point is to get it out and begin healing, because you can’t live this way for the rest of your life.

2. You’re constantly ready to fight.

This goes along with hyper-vigilance.

For example, you’re 23 years old and five years out of high school. You’re standing in the checkout line at the supermarket.

While having your groceries rung up by the clerk, the woman behind you is cursing and shouting at you to “hurry up.” Moreover, she’s a woman you’ve been at odds with for a while now.

When you hand the cashier your cash to pay for the groceries, the woman points her finger right in your face. Consequently, your automatic response is to grab her by the back of her head and slam her face against the checkout counter.

Understand that this is a knee-jerk reaction. However, knee-jerk responses get people into trouble.

Therefore, the best thing to do is to tell them off in as few words as possible. Then, walk away. In other words, never stay silent; instead, get your point across using concise language, then move on. There’s no need to get physical.

This is a better alternative when someone is running their mouth. However, if they put a finger in your face, no law says you can’t grab their finger and shove it away.

And if the person tries to hit you, then it’s time to throw up those dukes and defend yourself.

There’s nothing wrong with self-defense. It’s how we set boundaries. It’s how we teach people to respect our personal space and keep their hands to themselves.

3. Bullying and trauma:

you have Trust issues.

Targets want to trust, relax, and feel comfortable in social situations. Only they don’t know who to trust. Therefore, it’s much safer not to trust anyone- safer to put up walls and keep the rest of the world out.

Survivors have built invisible fortresses around themselves for protection. The problem with this is that these protective fortresses can become prisons and sometimes tombs!

This is what trauma does.

Here’s why this happens:

  • You’ve been an outcast for so long that you don’t trust invitations to events. Even worse, you don’t trust people enough to talk to them.
  • People have mistreated you for so long that you’ve lost faith in humanity.
  • Bullies and their followers have, in the past, baited you into trusting them somehow, only to pull some cruel joke on you. Therefore, you no longer risk being fooled again.

Understand that you need a human connection. And trust issues are a factor that reinforces isolation. It’s a terrible existence and can sometimes create a temptation for suicide.

Therefore, you must force yourself to get out of the house. Visit a family member or go to a museum if you must.

Moreover, if a loved one is struggling, speak to them lovingly. Do some investigating and find out why.

4. Bullying and Trauma:

You Fear Conflict.

Conflict is a part of life and something we all face at some point. However, many victims and survivors of bullying are afraid of conflict.

Why? Because bullies have forced so much of it on them in the past that they can no longer bear the thought of another confrontation.

Moreover, they haven’t dealt with the hurts. And they don’t know their worth. Many targets and survivors of bullying have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Therefore, they remain stuck in a state of survival mode.

As a result, they cave in and give others what they want to keep from pissing them off. The unspoken message is, “Look! Just take what you want and get lost!”

However, this can become a problem. If you go out of your way to avoid conflict, people will soon mistake you for being weak, and they’ll walk all over you. Therefore, you must set boundaries.

Realize that the time will come when you must say no. There are even times when you may have to show your ugly side to get your point across, that no means no, and enough is enough.

Understand that this requires guts. It means you must step out of your comfort zone and take risks.

You must risk hurting others’ feelings and making people angry. You must risk being lashed out at and retaliated against. Moreover, you must also risk losing relationships, and none of it feels good.

Never run from conflict. Because if you do, you’ll end up running from it for the rest of your life!

5. Bullying and Trauma:

You have stunted social development.

Although social intelligence won’t necessarily keep you from becoming a target of bullying, it will most certainly lessen your chances of it.

Social intelligence has always and will always supersede book smarts. It will get you much further than college degrees, awards, and credentials alone. High school dropouts have become millionaires, while many college graduates have ended up working at McDonald’s.

This occurs primarily due to the level of social intelligence.

Social intelligence is THE most important quality you can have. It’s the highest-paid skill and most important asset in the entire universe.

For many years, people thought that it was a skill that no one could teach. The prevailing school of thought was that one was either born with it or not.

And if you weren’t, it was something that you had to accept and deal with. Thankfully, we now know differently.

This is why it’s so crucial that you make a conscious effort to save your self-esteem. You achieve this by keeping your heart open, meeting new people, and forming new friendships.

 In other words, create positive interactions and experiences that are separate from the bullying environment.  Social opportunities multiply exponentially once you’re away from your bullies or anyone else who knows you from the bullying environment.

This is how you maintain your self-esteem and continue to develop your social intelligence.

6. Bullying and Trauma:

You’re painfully shy.

Many targets of bullying, after people bully them so severely for so long, become painfully shy.

When others scrutinize everything you say down to the tiniest detail, it’s easy for you to withdraw. As a result, you shut out the rest of humanity and hide in plain sight.

Moreover, you do this because you think it’s the safest thing to do. However, it’s a terrible way to live. Shyness is like a prison without walls.

Why? Because it stops you from being your true, authentic self, and you end up missing out on so much. Shyness keeps you from having fun and enjoying life.

Therefore, be brave and continue to put yourself out there. Again, establish good connections outside the place where people bully you. I guarantee that this is a great start.

7. You have Social Anxiety.

After being bullied for so long, victims can develop social anxiety. In other words, they withdraw from people because they fear future attacks.

This happens when your spirit has been beaten down and broken. You’ve been abused to the point of losing faith in humanity. Also, nefarious people have programmed you to believe that you aren’t worthy of love and friendship.

Therefore, you’re under the presumption that it’s much safer not to engage in any social interaction.

Bullying and trauma:

Covert Signs of social anxiety

Social anxiety can also be more covert, showing itself in less obvious ways:

  • Excessive laughing and giggling
  • Over-apologizing
  • Appearing normal on the outside but nervous and shaky on the inside
  • Excessive humor and being overly funny or having no sense of humor at all
  • Excessive sarcasm/having a smart-alecky attitude
  • Being overly friendly/too nice
  • Shutting down/freezing up- unable to talk or move
  • Meanness/rudeness
  • Fidgeting/can’t sit still
  • Lack of or too much eye contact
  • Poor posture/looking down all the time
  • Having a hard time keeping up with a conversation
  • Talking too loudly, too fast, too soft, too slow, or not at all
  • Indifference
  • Excessive use of foul language
  • Promiscuity/raciness
  • Wearing attire that is provocative or super-revealing
  • A style that is “perceived” as separatist or out of the ordinary (goth, punk-rock, etc.)

Fortunately, survivors of bullying can overcome the trauma by learning to love themselves again and studying tips on how to raise their confidence levels. Although bullying can be traumatic, you can learn many life lessons from it that can help you grow.

This post was all about bullying and trauma so that you can take steps to lessen the aftereffects.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Adult Survivors of School Bullying: 19 Things They Do Differently 

2. Life Lessons from Bullying: 16 Powerful Takeaways to Remember 

Excuses Schools Make for Bullies: Here are 7 Most Common

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‘Want to know all the excuses schools make for bullies? If you’re the parent of a bullied child, here are all the excuses you need to prepare yourself for.

excuses schools make for bullies

Many schools shirk responsibility when bullying occurs. And sadly, they usually protect the bullies. They either blame the victim or hide incidents of bullying altogether.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about the excuses schools make for bullies so that you will know what to expect and be prepared for them.

Once you learn all about these popular responses, you will know what to expect when you report your bullies for bullying you.

This post is all about the excuses schools make for bullies, so that you will know what to expect and be ready for it.

Excuses schools make for bullies

There are news articles everywhere with stories of schools that failed to notify parents when their child was seriously injured by bullies. Moreover, there are even stories of schools that neglected to call 911 when a kid desperately needed medical attention.

Every day, schools pretend not to notice when they see bullies making some innocent student’s life hell. Instead, they turn a deaf ear and blame the victim when they report the bullying.

In extreme cases, schools have retaliated against the victim’s family because they wouldn’t keep their mouth shut. And, they usually retaliated by making false claims to CPS and having the child unfairly removed from their home. Therefore, they only break up entire families!

The reasons school officials resort to this kind of evil are to save the school’s reputation. Therefore, they do everything possible to make the victim’s family look bad and hide the bullying that is rampant in their schools.

It is because of this that parents lose trust in the public school system. And I don’t blame them. In recent years, homeschooling has skyrocketed. Should it be any wonder?

You must realize that school officials are elected officials, politicians! And when bullying happens and schools fail to act, you can best believe that politics is behind it. Teachers and principals would rather make excuses for bullies than protect the bullied child.

Here are the most common excuses schools make for bullies.

1. “Kids will be Kids.”

“Yep. And some of them can be real hellions, like this one right here,” you say as you point to your bully.

Many teachers, principals, and even the bullies’ parents will use this excuse to sweep incidents of bullying under the rug. They also use this line to trivialize any bullying the targeted student suffers.

The “kids will be kids” response is a cop out. And it’s designed to protect only the bullies, not the child who needs the protection.

Know that school officials have a legal responsibility to keep kids out of harm’s way while they’re at school, all kids. Not just a select few. But most neglect that responsibility.

Therefore, see this as one of many excuses. In most cases, it doesn’t pay to wait for the school to help you. Sometimes, you must take responsibility for your own safety and stand up to your bullies.

2. “It’s just a personality conflict”

“You got that right. Her personality sucks and mine doesn’t. There’s the conflict.”

When your teacher or principal tells you that the altercation between you and your bully is a personality conflict, see this excuse for what it is. They’re only trying to downplay the bullying you suffer.

Realize that bullying has become an ugly word nowadays. The very term, bullying, raises a lot of heckles. Moreover, it stirs up a lot of bad emotions. It’s no wonder that school officials cringe just hearing it.

Therefore, school staff won’t even mention the word “bullying.”  They won’t say that what you endure is bullying. Why? Because they would have to admit that bullying goes on in their school, and they can’t do that!

Therefore, they call it a personality conflict because that doesn’t sound as bad.

But, continue to call it what it is. They may not like it. But your priority is not to spare their feelings. It’s to keep yourself from harm.

3. Excuses Schools make for Bullies:

“That’s just the way she is.”

“Really? Then she needs to stay the hell away from me.”

That may very well be how your bully is. However, you don’t have to put up with their bullshit. Therefore, don’t accept any excuses from the school or the bully.

You must see the subtext of this excuse. And the subtext of it is, “This kind of behavior is typical of her. So, you should overlook her.”

But don’t overlook it. Stand up to your bully and put her in her place! Let her know in no uncertain terms that you won’t take her crap.

Also, let your school staff know that they’re the adults and they’re supposed to protect bullied students. Then, tell them that they’re not doing their jobs.

And, when you say it, say it point-blank!

4. “They’ve had a hard life.”

“Most people have, but not all of them use it as an excuse to treat others like crap.”

Just because your bully has had it rough doesn’t give them an excuse to abuse you. It’s okay to have empathy for those who are having a tough time.

However, when they use it as a crutch, that’s when the empathy stops! Their feelings are valid, yes. But their evil actions aren’t.

You can feel sorry for them if you want. However, that doesn’t mean you have to let them use you as a dumping ground for all their issues.

Again, don’t take any shit off of them. Stand up and defend yourself against bullying, no matter what!

5. Excuses schools make for Bullies:

“he’s a nice person once you get to know Him.”

This is just a polite way of saying, “He’s a real asshole but, after a while, you’ll get used to it.”

If nothing else, understand this right now! Bullying and abuse are not things you should ever get used to! Ever!

You do not have to put up with that garbage!

Anytime someone makes that kind of excuse for a bully, what they’re telling you is that they’ve been putting up with their crap. So, you should put up with it too.

Can I get a “hell no?”

You must realize that just because other people think they need to cower to some creep doesn’t mean you have to. If they want to let the bully dump all over them, it’s their life. Let them have at it!

But you don’t have to! Stand up to the bully and let them know that you aren’t the one!

6. “She’s just blowing off some steam.”

“Really? Then, maybe she should go somewhere else to blow it off!”

And that’s exactly what you should say. You are not a toxic waste dump! Therefore, don’t let some creep dump their toxic waste in your creek.

You are not responsible for their problems. And they shouldn’t be taking all their frustrations out on you! So, don’t let them do that.

7. Excuses schools make for bullies:

“He’s just having a bad day.”

“Everyone has those days now and then, but most of them don’t take it out on someone else.”

If your bully is having a bad day, that’s not your fault. And it’s not your problem. So, don’t let them try to make it your problem.

Buck up. Stand up. And let the bully know that you’re the wrong person to mess with. You must realize that bullies act this way because others have allowed them to get away with it for a long time.

Instead, they tiptoe around them to keep from setting them off. And because people have kissed the bully’s ass for so long, the bully has grown comfortable with being an asshole.

If nothing else, know this. You don’t have to put up with that! Other people may walk on eggshells around this person. But it doesn’t mean you have to.

So, tell the bully to buzz off. Also, tell them not to come around you until they calm their ass down.

In Conclusion

Schools and workplaces are full of bullies and other messed-up people. The world is full of them. And it’s a shame that most adults, at home and school, don’t teach kids to stand up for themselves like they used to.

If we don’t teach young people to take care of themselves now, they’ll only grow up to be spineless adults who submit to those who abuse power. And sadly, they won’t think to question it.

Schools can make all the policies they want. But until they enforce them, innocent students will continue to suffer bullying. And school officials will continue to make excuses for bullies and blame victims.

Therefore, know what to expect and be prepared. And stand up for yourself no matter how they may gaslight you. If that doesn’t work, it might be time for a school transfer.

This post was all about excuses schools make for bullies so that you’ll know what they are and be prepared to counter those excuses.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids! 

2. Signs Someone is Gaslighting You: The 13 Must-Know Symptoms 

3. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices