Knowing the Truth About a Bully

October 8, 20224 Comments

Sadly, it seems that the more fake a person is, the more others adore them, and the more real a person is, the more people hate them. The reason for this is because “truth” scares people. Truth is uncomfortable, even painful.

As the old quote goes, “It’s much easier to fool people than to convince them that they’ve been fooled.”

Bullies have a way of using seductive charm and drawing others to them. They have a knack for making people like, even love them. These people are so successful at making connections with people. Bullies will agree with everyone on anything, tell others what they want to hear. They say all the right things at the right times. They’re the best actors in the business and sometimes it’s hard to see the snake behind the charm.

This is how workplace bullies get promoted in the workplace. It’s how school bullies become the teacher’s pets and the golden boys and girls of the school. It’s how bullies are liked and yes, even loved by unsuspecting others.

Bullies Thrive on Deception

It’s frustrating, isn’t it? When you know a person is fake, yet others think they’re the best thing since sliced bread? The person is evil, manipulative, and lies without a conscience, yet nobody knows it but you. Why? Because you’re the only one who sees that side of them.

You know the real person behind the façade of charisma, smiles, and waves. Plain as day, you watch them take pleasure in hurting others and ruining lives. At the same time, these bullies have a talent for sucking everyone else in by their fakery.

Arrogant young Caucasian man with three female admirers

For example, A high school bully boy beats up a smaller kid on the ball field. As a result, all the girls who watch from the bleachers love him for it. Or, maybe the bully gropes a poor girl in the hallways who clearly does not want them touching her. Sadly, the female groupies and admirers who hang with them only laugh and signal approval. After all, the girl the creep groped is “a slut who was asking for it.” Right?

You can almost see what they’re thinking as you watch their eyes and their body language.

“Wow! What a man!”

Bullies Can’t Survive Without Putting Someone Else Down

Take the workplace bully, for instance. She seems so in control, so smart, and so attractive when she’s berating another employee for a minor mistake. Or, maybe she’s attacking another, more talented person to undermine their abilities.

These are the type of people who are blind to their own selfishness. They tell lie after lie and ruin life after life.

They lack consideration for others and aren’t responsible for their own screw-ups. However, you can be sure that they have no qualms about pointing out the mistakes and imperfections of others. Additionally, they have no problem deflecting their issues onto someone else.

What’s even more baffling is that, you’d think that once this creep dumps on enough people, others would begin to see through the smokescreens. However!

Au contraire! Some of them just keep going back after being dumped on only to have the bully rub it in. It’s enough to make you sick.

The Idiocy of The Bully’s Followers

You may try to warn others about the real person behind the façade. Also, you may defend yourself when they attack you but you’re shocked when others take their word and their side over yours.

Moreover, you hear people talk- saying what a fine, upstanding person the bully is and it’s clear they don’t know the person you and only few others know. Therefore, it’s hard to bite your tongue when you hear it.

The bully can be so horribly evil that if he stood side by side with the devil himself, you’d have a hard time distinguishing between the two. Furthermore, this person puts on the pathetic but convincing act of being bullied when they’re the ones doing the bullying.

It’s amazing how easily the people around you are fooled!

But realize that not only the bully, but the weak and gullible followers who enable the bully, need professional help.

The People Who Surround the Bully are Followers, Nothing More.

Understand that these bullies are toxic souls and wastes of space. They’re the people who cannot keep a relationship- they’re the ones who are always in and out of relationships, whether friendships or romances. Eventually, these bullies get a little too prideful, a little to bold…then they get stupid!

They screw up somehow, the mask falls off, and finally! People see their true colors!

I’ve seen this happen and I won’t lie to you. It gave me a since of justice and I was ecstatic when I watched them fall. Karma is a booger!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Male and Female Bullies: The Differences

October 2, 202210 Comments

Female bullies can be the most vicious because they seem to be better at going undetected than male bullies. Granted, there are always exceptions to this rule, but this is true for the most part. Male bullies lean more toward outward physical bullying and females lean more toward bullying of the psychological variety.

Female Bullies:

I’ll say again but more descriptively. Although there are exceptions, most are passive-aggressive and commit much of their bullying on a psychological level. However, thanks to radical feminism and the moral decline in today’s young girls and women, physical assaults perpetrated by females are increasing at an alarming rate.

Females bully by Dividing and Conquering – attacking the targets’ relationships. Girls and women use smear campaigns, gossip, rumors, and witch hunts. These tactics are all designed to turn everyone against the target- ’Isolation of the target’.

They also use projection- projecting all of their own shortcomings onto the target. Bullies do have flaws and their greatest fear is having them exposed. Projection is the best way to keep their own imperfections hidden.

Therefore, they project their imperfections onto the target. Also, these bullies will use distraction- distracting others’ attention away from their own shortcomings and evil deeds. Bullies do this by pointing out the negative qualities in their targets.

Psychological v/s Physical Bullying

Girls and some boys, use psychological warfare. Psychological bullying includes but is not limited to exclusion, dirty looks, taunts, insults, rumors and lies. Also, it can include thievery, invasion of the target’s privacy and destruction of the target’s property and relationships.

If this does not work, they then may resort to violence although not as often as male bullies. If females want to cause bodily harm to their target, they are more likely to persuade someone else to do their violence for them.

They may send a male friend or a bigger and tougher female friend, to catch the target alone and physically assault them. Moreover, they get them to comply by offering incentives. These girls may offer either illicit sex to their male friend to get them to do what they want. On the other hand, they may offer a tougher female friend inclusion into their particular clique and the chance to climb up the social ladder.

Passive-aggressive bullies may also offer money.

By primal instinct, females are nurturers. Nature has hardwired girls and women toward maintaining relationships whether they be familial, friendships, or romantic. Many young girls plan to eventually get married and have families of their own.

Thus, female bullies aim to sabotage the target’s relationships. Most girls and women, from the time they are small, dream of one day finding a mate and having children because they have an instinct to nurture. They are usually the caretakers of the family and home.

Covert v/s Overt Bullying

Therefore, it should not be any surprise that female bullies are notorious for calling their targets names like ‘whore’, ‘slut’, ‘tramp’, ‘floosy’ and other names which attack the femininity and virtues.

Moreover, anytime you as a young lady are called either one of these names, there is an even deeper meaning behind it. Therefore, here’s the hidden meaning. It’s that you are not marriageable. Also, you are not worthy of a mate or children, and you are not considered to be a woman.

A female bully wants to brainwash you. Hence the reason why her attacks are so vicious and repetitive. She wants to convince you that you are worthless and will stop at nothing to make you believe it!

toxic brainwashing

Additionally, she knows that if she can make you believe the lies, there is a strong chance that you will live up to them. We are what we believe. This vicious shrew knows that if she could drum it into your head, she will succeed in breaking your spirit. Thus, making you prove her right.

Females Aren’t Always the Weaker Sex

Get this straight. Female bullies WANT you to live up to the names that they call you. If they call you a whore, what they really want is for you to BE one.

So don’t live up to it! Show her up! However, she will not give up so easily. Girls tend to hang on to their hatred of another girl to the point of obsession. The bullying becomes a ritual. And when you stand up to a bully, don’t expect things to get better anytime soon.

Male bullies:

Because nature has hardwired most males to be the hunter and gatherer, guys tend to be more physical. And why not? Back during prehistoric times, males had to hunt and bring home the food to feed their families. Often, they had to fight off wild animals and human males of other groups in order to survive.

Although there are exceptions, males are more likely to use physical aggression. Young men are expected to be strong and tough…to display manhood. Therefore, if the target is another male, the boy bully will not only use his fists, but will also try to feminize their target by repetitively emasculating him.

Emasculation of Male Targets

Male bullies often call their targets names like, “sissy”, “pussy”, “bitch” and other names which attack the male pride and cause them to feel less like men. They try to strip their target of his manhood.

And if the male target speaks out against the treatment, the male bully will trivialize it by referring to the target as a “whiner” and tell him to “toughen up”, or “man up”. The male bully may also accuse his male victim of going against what is seen as “man-code” if he dares to report the bullying.

And male bullies who are physically violent usually beat up on males and females. However, there are a few who are so cowardly that they’ll never stand up against another guy but only beat up on girls.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

More on Dealing with Catty Women and Girls

September 28, 20226 Comments

Not long ago, I created a post entitled “Catty Women and Girls.” In it I described these females, pointing out their toxic personalities, their attitudes, their tactics to bring other women down, and the sickening vibes they put out into the universe.

A commenter on the post, Petrina, made the perfect point when she quoted in her comment:

“…If a woman knows her worth, she won’t be like this. If a woman does not make an idol out of men, she won’t see other women as such a threat. Much of women’s cattiness revolves around the fact that they feel threatened that their idols (men) are going to find other women attractive and prefer them. These types of insecure women are falsely validated by men’s attention….”

Petrina’s words really drive the point home and I thank her for her comment!

Cattiness in Women Comes from One Thing- Fear and Insecurity!

What makes these fraulines so dirty and trifling can be summed up in one word:

Fear!

Again, if these poor things had a modicum of self-esteem, confidence- any security whatsoever in themselves as women, they wouldn’t need to walk around with such funky attitudes and making trouble for others. They would not feel the need to compare themselves to another woman. They would not be hating on women they feel have lives that are so much better than theirs.

If these women were genuinely happy with their lives and knew their worth, they wouldn’t be so obsessively jealous. Catty women are insanely jealous of women who have their lives in order and everything going for them.

Women who are catty are usually women who are hungry for attention, especially male attention. They are the kind of girls you see humiliating themselves by chasing and throwing themselves at men in bars or at parties.

Understand that their snooty demeanors alone reveal so much about them. And the sad thing is that they are totally oblivious to it. These toxic broads are under the delusion that their snotty behavior makes them look powerful and goddess-like. They believe that walking around with their noses in the air and upper lip snarled like a dog is cute.

Catty Women are Thirsty!

And yes, there are people, especially guys, who are attracted to that kind of behavior in girls. It’s true that every day, you see many men fall all over themselves to get close to these bitchy fem-fatales. However, you have to consider that these guys are usually those who have no self-esteem nor self-respect. Because the maneaters they’re desperately trying to get next to will only chew them up and spit them back out!

Yes, they may look like and put on the facade of the alpha male, but, under the surface, they’re only beta males who are insecure and have serious doubts of their own masculinity.

If the wannabe alpha guys who dig these broads were cars, they would be shiny, flashy muscle-cars that look sharp and fast on the outside but would be total wrecks under the hoods and wouldn’t make it out of the driveway before sputtering out and breaking down. Otherwise, they would not be such gluttons for punishment. They wouldn’t bow down to these shrews, kiss their behinds, and become, for lack of a better term, “whipped.”

A guy with any self-esteem, self-respect, or common sense, would have nothing to do with these self-absorbed, egotistical twits. After all, they only have the power others give them.

**Oh, but wait! This also says something else!**

Any quality woman- a woman who is worth her salt- desires a partner she can respect, not some spineless wimp she can walk on. And men of quality desire a quality woman of strength they too can respect and who respects them back.

And when a catty, insecure woman has her partner, or other guys groveling at her feet, it says one of either two things about her:

A. She is a controlling, domineering shrew who’s fearful of a strong, secure, self-respecting partner and would actually prefer a man who’s a sniveling weakling she can keep under the heel of her high-heeled shoe.

B. A strong, secure, and self-respecting man of quality would never in this lifetime have her nor even consider her! Ouch!

A real woman, one who knows there’s no need to act catty to prove anything to anyone, will be successful in achieving a relationship with a quality partner she can respect and who respects her back. This is a girl who will never get into a relationship with anyone she cannot respect. For love to take place, there must first be respect!

Catty Women are Fearful of Strong, Secure, Self-Respecting Men

In contrast, women of the catty variety are fearful women. They fear being outshone or outdone. They are to be pitied because they are truly pathetic.

They’re only beta-females who, by their actions and behavior, reduce themselves to the lowest common denominator. Sadly, these women are many- they’re a dime a dozen. But women who are confident and have their mental stuff together are few. They’re rare. And anything that is rare is and always will be of higher value. Many would deem it priceless. The Laws of Scarcity dictates this.

Therefore, if you are one of those rare and special women and it seems that so many other females are working like the devil to bring you down, know that they are already beneath you. Otherwise, they wouldn’t expend so much effort to tear you apart and bring you to their level.

Always remember that because you are rare, you hold more value than your mean girl bullies ever will. Believe that with every fiber of your being!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Dealing with Catty Women and Girls

September 26, 20229 Comments

Sadly, we have so many women who are jealous of other women. They seek to tear another woman down if she dares to be too pretty, too smart, too rich, too talented, too anything positive.

You’ll have a clique of queen bees and mean girls at school or work, and they’ll see another woman outside their little group who is happy with her life. She’s confident and strong. She knows who she is and what she wants. This woman may be successful at her job or have a huge bank account. She may be talented, smart, have a good family life, or gasp! All of the above.

Do you think that they’ll be happy for a fellow female who managed to defy the odds? Will these women want to learn from her or see her as a role model? Do you think they will look up to her?

Most Females May Act Like They Support Other Women. But Do They Really?

No chance. They will only hate her and wish for her downfall. These vixens will want to tear her to pieces. They will plot against her and try to sabotage whatever success she has. It’s both sad and pathetic!

Understand that the reason these women are so catty is because they’re highly insecure in themselves. They subconsciously see themselves as inferior to any woman who’s got her shit together. So, they’ll do everything they possibly can to pull her down to their level.

Also, if a catty woman has a husband with a roving eye, look out if you’re the woman in his sights! Because she won’t lay into her hubby with the wandering eyes. No. She will come after you! And with a vengeance!

Catty women are mostly the passive-aggressive types and if you’re in their line of fire, you’ll feel their eyes bore into you like a needle. You’ll pick up the sickening vibrations these girls put off. Also, you’ll feel the negative energy they exude grip you and try to squeeze the life out of you. And these females will almost seem demonic- as if they’re possessed with an evil spirit.

If You Become the Target of Catty Women, BEWARE!

These shrews will try to get information from you. Moreover, they’ll pump your friends, associates, even your family members for information about you.

They’ll warn everyone who will listen not to associate with you and try to damage your good relationships. They will also sabotage your job prospects, invade your privacy and snoop through your office and sometimes even your belongings, to find anything they can use against you.

Some may even stalk you to find out where you live and who your family members are. Understand that these women see you as an adversary- someone they must compete with. Your success causes them to compare themselves to you and question their own achievements and overall value as women.

They hate you because they think you have it better than them. You can hear the venom in their voices and sense the poison in their minds. You see clearly the ignorance in their attitudes. Also, you’ll observe their huffy impatience and haughty demeanors.

If they ever sink their claws into you, they’ll never let go. You’re the enemy– the usurper of their perceived girl-code, and they have an evil laser focus on you.

**Women and Girls can be Worse Bullies Than Men and Boys**

These girls strut around the school, workplace, or community with funky dispositions and their noses turned up. They have their upper lips raised in contempt, eyes blazing under those fake eyelashes, and eyebrows narrowed. Overall, they have snooty and snotty attitudes.

And the woman I mentioned earlier? The one with the ogling husband? Should it be any wonder the guy has a roving eye?

You must realize that these women are miserable human beings, and they suck the oxygen out of every room they walk into. They are to be pitied and dismissed, not hated. Avoid them and have nothing to do with them, not only for your sanity, but your overall safety. And the further away you get from these hussies, the better.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Bullies Who Tattle on Their Targets

September 20, 20229 Comments

Bullies, especially school bullies, are notorious tattletales. And they often tattle on their targets for even the tiniest of infractions. If it so happens, they cannot find anything to tell on their targets about, they will make something up. Furthermore, they will make sure it’s something believable.

These bullies watch their targets closely, waiting with bated breath for the target to do or say something- anything that even smacks of being outside the category of right. They then run and tattle to a teacher, principal, supervisor, or manager.

How noble these bullies must feel, sitting on their moral high ground, working as little gestapos. Moreover, they feel entitled to ensure that everyone is good little peasants, following the rules down to the letter! Or, at least, that’s what they want those in authority to think.

The reality is that everyone, other than the target, is free to do as they wish. They only do these things to their targets. Why? To keep them from being able to defend themselves or report bullying.

Therefore, if you are a target of bullying, all your bullies must do is smear your name to any member of staff and you’re marred for good. They then clear the path to bully you in the future without fear of being reported. After all, who’s going to take the word of a troublemaker and rule-breaker?

Also, if enough people tattle on you, those in positions of power are more likely to believe them. Why? Because, “if you aren’t guilty of whatever they accuse you of, then why are so many people pointing the finger at you?” Right?

It’s Like a Game of Chess, Bullies are Setting Everything Up Against You

Besides, in tattling on you or telling lies about you, these bullies are setting up a system where you will be discredited. In that, they’ll render you powerless to stop the bullying or escape it. Tattling is also a way to silence you. Think about it. If you know that no one will believe you anyway, you’re more likely to find it easier and less painful just to keep your mouth shut.

Remember that bullies are master chess players. Therefore, this is how they set the stage beforehand to make you powerless. Because, once you’re completely powerless, they’ll bully you openly and in plain sight.

Besides, who’s going to stop them? After all, you’re a troublemaker, a rebel-rouser, a riffraff! And people aren’t bullying you, they’re only reacting to something you must have done to them. Right?

Bullies and everyone else-good. Target-bad! You’re bad, so you deserve it.

And the tattlers? They’re only “good kids” who want to learn in a clean environment. They serve as the extra pairs of eyes that the staff need because the staff can’t be everywhere at once. They’re the little helpers.

So, let’s give them a cookie for their efforts to make our jobs a little easier!

Tattling is a technique to eventually block the target from any help they’ll need and otherwise receive.

Afterwards, when the damage is done, the bullies will boast about how they succeeded in taking away your power and ruining your life.

Moreover, bullies use tattling as a veneer to hide their own bad behavior, and project it onto you. If they can slither their way into the good graces of those in power while demonizing you, their plot will work perfectly, and the bullies be virtually untouchable.

I cannot stress enough the importance of being prepared for this type of thing. And the more you prepare, the better you’ll be able to counter this slick tactic, and the better you’ll protect yourself.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Behind the Bullies’ Most Vicious Attacks

September 7, 20227 Comments

A crowd of people surrounded the red man. Accusation of crime, mob law over a person, lynch court. The leader in the center of the crowd, the leader, an example for diving. Angry crowd

The subconscious mind is a funny thing. And when we call out the deplorable behavior of bullies, their knee-jerk reaction is to get highly defensive. These people panic! They get irate, raise their voices, scream, curse, and call you the most horrible names in the English language. Even worse, some bullies get physically violent. Have you ever wondered why?

It’s because, in the deepest parts of their subconscious minds, the bullies know they are wrong. However, they were counting on your silence to shield them from exposure and accountability. They didn’t get that from you (your silence).

No. You called the bullies out in public. You put them on blast- exposed them naked before the rest of the class, school, workplace, or community. Now, the bullies must put in a lot of extra work in order to do damage control.

You had to open your mouth. You challenged the bullies’ (perceived) authority. Having the gall to defend yourself, you refused to be controlled (Gasp! How dare you!). And now, your bullies are scared to death. But more than that, they’re furious, and they’re out for blood this time. And you can be sure that your bullies’ fury has roots- and those roots are fear!

Bullying. Marginalized child. Concept illustration. Scene shows a child suffering harassment and marginalization from other children.

When bullies attack you the fiercest, that’s when you know they’re scared to death!

Think of it this way. When a warplane is over it’s target, that’s when the battle is at it’s absolutely worst. All at once, every anti-aircraft gun around ground zero unloads their full firepower on the plane. The enemy releases a fury unlike any other. Why? Because the plane is too close! And the closer to the target the plane gets, the worse the battle will rage.

It’s the same with bullies. When they know that you’re right over the mark and that you’re exposing them. They panic! Because they’re afraid that their skeletons just might come out to play and, boy! Do they come unglued and launch an attack like you’ve never seen! That’s when you know you’ve got your bullies figured out.

And when people get scared, they get desperate! And when people get desperate, they get crazy- they can even get dangerous!

Bullies know what happens if they are exposed. They risk losing face, then ultimately, losing power!

The second most common fear your bullies have is that you just might reach success of some kind and threaten their sense of superiority. Why, because, again, your success may help shine the light on the bullies’ own failures and shortcomings. It may cause others to compare the bullies to you and they just might figure out that the bullies aren’t so hot after all and that you aren’t so weak, dumb, and unimportant after all.

Therefore, again, anytime it seems that your bullies are attacking you the hardest and the most frequently- anytime the bullying you suffer is at it’s absolute worst- it’s usually because you’re onto something.

With knowledge comes power!

Reasons to Leave a Toxic Environment

September 2, 20226 Comments

A Positive Environment

When we’re in the right environment, one that is accepting, loving, and nurturing, we not only survive, but we also thrive. We can grow and flourish.

Therefore, in a positive environment, under the right conditions, we feel free to be ourselves. We can express our own ideas and opinions without fear. Also, we can feel safe and secure. We can be confident and build positive relationships with others. This gives us the freedom to be creative and show our talents.

The people around us encourage and support us. They are cooperative and give us the freedom to be and do. Most importantly, they nudge and push us to be our best. This is the kind of environment that nurtures our souls.

Whereas, in the wrong environment, one that is toxic, oppressive, restrictive, and harmful, we may only survive. We may only squeeze by. Instead of grow, we only stagnate, or worse, regress. Instead of flourish, we only wither.

A Toxic Environment

In a toxic environment, under terrible conditions, we aren’t free. We’re only prisoners, slaves, and victims.

Furthermore, humans need more than just food and water to survive, which means they also need positivity from their environments. They need positive people around them. Also, human beings need diverse experiences instead of sameness.

Sadly, a toxic, bullying environment only promotes sameness. It doesn’t tolerate any form of diversity because it loathes anything different. Environmental stimuli have a huge impact on our psyches and social interactions. It can make us bitter or better. Our environments can cause progression or regression.

Therefore, it is so important that, if you find yourself in an environment that sucks the oxygen out of you, you must remove yourself from it. Though it may not always be easy to do, it’s a must if you want to salvage your self-esteem and mental health. In doing so, you will save yourself a lot of stress and heartache. Also, you will save yourself months of recovery.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Compliments v/s Flattery

August 27, 20224 Comments

Targets of bullying must know the difference between the two. And, surprisingly, many people think that compliments and flattery are one and the same. They aren’t.

A compliment is genuine. Whereas flattery is fake.

A compliment comes from the heart and is truthful. Also, compliments are earned. They’re reserved for people who deserve them. Compliments are given to praise someone for an accomplishment. They are an acknowledgement for a good deed, or a job well done.

Flattery, on the other hand, is used for self-servitude. It is insincere, deceptive, and can be an insult to the recipient. Because, again, it is strictly used for usery and selfish purposes. Flattery and insincere compliments are both the same.

Therefore, bullies never pay sincere compliments, especially to their targets. However, they will use flattery to butter their targets up all for the purpose of manipulating and exploiting them. Bullies may also use flattery as a form of subtle sarcasm. And if the target happens to be gullible, he may confuse it for genuine compliments. Bullies will then watch the target’s face light up with overexcitement, then laugh later.

Remember that many targets of bullying are often thirsty for any sign of approval and praise because they don’t get enough of it, if any at all. Therefore, anything that even looks like approval, they’ll be excited to receive, even overly so.

So, how can you tell the difference between fake flattery and a sincere compliment?

Simple. You can tell by the kind of relationship you have with the person giving you the compliment. In other words, if the person giving you the compliment is a bully who normally mistreats you, then you can be sure that it’s flattery. And the compliment is fake, phony, and false.

I can’t stress this enough. Never take seriously any “compliment” you receive from a bully. When a bully is suddenly nice to you and gives compliments, it is clearly to manipulate you. A bully who gives you a compliment is only flattering you. They are looking for an eventual payoff, be it psychological or otherwise.

In contrast, if the person is a true friend or family member, someone who loves you and has never intentionally harmed you, you know that the compliment is for real. Even if the praise comes from a total stranger, it would be more acceptable than if it came from a bully. Still, even with strangers, you should be gracious, but cautious because they haven’t established a relationship with you yet.

Make Sure Your Own Compliments are Sincere

Just the same, if you are the one making the compliment, make sure the person you compliment is a close friend or family member. In other words, make sure that person damn well deserves it from you and that they’ve done something that warrants it.

Understand that most people know their strengths and weaknesses. And if you give them a false accolade on something they know they aren’t good at, they will know that you’re lying to them. Also, they will wonder what ulterior motives you have in giving them such a fake compliment. Moreover, you can easily lose respect for it.

And last and most importantly, never compliment a bully! Ever!

Here’s why:

Bullies get their behinds kissed all the time and it’s exactly how they’ll perceive it.
You will be giving the bully a juicy opportunity to turn it against you and steamroll you with it.
Bullies are the last people who deserve praise. Never give anyone anything they haven’t earned.

Follow these three rules and I promise you that your value will go up tremendously. It may not seem so, but it will.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Hate Only Damages the Hater Not the Hated

August 11, 202214 Comments

As a survivor of severe bullying and peer-abuse, I’ve seen the faces of hate- up close and personal. And let me tell you, it’s ugly! And dangerous!

I know what it looks like. I’ve felt it’s powerful and painful sting and have been paralyzed by it. As much as I hate to admit it, I’ve even had it directed toward others in those days. But hatred is worthless. Most people don’t understand the damage it does to not the hated, but the hater!

The reality is that hate causes the hater more pain than it does the hated. I say this because I’ve witnessed it. In the past, I’ve looked into the eyes of my bullies- deep into their eyes- down into their souls! And I truly believe that if there wasn’t a law against murder or manslaughter, I probably wouldn’t be here today.

On the Receiving End of Hatred

That was the kind of hate many of my classmates had for me. I saw how it would burn them up inside. ‘You see? That’s what hate does. When you have hatred for another person, you’re only hurting yourself.

Because it will eat you up inside and make you crazy. Hate is a sick and twisted obsession and it can take over your life if you allow it to.

Hatred can destroy your happiness and prospects. It skews your judgement and ability to think clearly. It causes you to make horrible decisions- decisions that can alter the entire trajectory of your life.

Hate is Harmful on Both Sides

When a person has hatred for another human being, it numbs their conscience, dulls their reasoning capabilities. They will condone things they would otherwise deem immoral and evil. The hater will approve of the most depraved, heinous, and atrocious atrocities directed toward the hated person. Yet they would disapprove of it, even condemn it, if it’s against with anyone else, even a total stranger.

Hate turns even the kindest, most caring people into depraved monsters. Realize that hate destroys haters and targets alike. Hate kills.

Indifference is a better option than hate. Because with indifference, you could absolutely care less, You could care less if the person is doing good or bad, what he thinks, what he says, or what he does.

Indifference is Much Better than Hate

On the other hand, with hate, you care because all you want is for the hated person to suffer. There’s a strong desire to make sure nothing good happens for the hated. And you obsessively seek to destroy them and their life. You want to make sure all opportunities are closed off to the hated person. This is what hate does. It causes haters to obsess over the hated.

So, if you’re a target of bullies, let them go ahead and hate on you. But don’t hate them back. Instead, be indifferent toward them, and how you do that is to stop caring what others think and do your thing, baby!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Which Would You Rather Be?

August 9, 202219 Comments

Hated for Being Smart or Pitied for Being Dumb?

I ask this question because many intelligent people try to hide their smarts for fear of hatred and bullying. They let others convince them that, because of their smarts, they come off as know-it-alls. Others tell them to dumb down because they “don’t want to make others feel bad about themselves.” They may even tell them to tone it down a little or they just might offend some people.

This is total BS!

I want you to know one thing right now! It is not your responsibility to make someone else feel good about themselves. Whether your intelligence offends others is not your problem. Their hatred of you is also not your problem.

Continue to be Your Smart Self

Understand that the reason why your intelligence may offend some people is because they are either jealous, intimidated, or insecure. It’s because of their own unaddressed psychological issues- issues that they’re trying to lay off on you.

Your intelligence may inspire some to doubt their own smarts and mental capabilities. Also, it may provoke others to compare themselves to you. Again, not your responsibility. They are the ones doubting and questioning their own intelligence. They are the ones who are making comparisons. You aren’t doing these things to them. They are doing it to themselves!

You are Not Responsible for Someone Else’s Feelings

Again, you are not responsible for another person’s self-esteem. Only they can do the inner work needed to raise their confidence levels. Therefore, if they’re too lazy to do that inner work, that’s on them!

Here’s another point I want to make: The hate that’s directed at you never feels good and can be frightening. But always remember that there’s dignity in being hated, but none in being pitied.

Yes, you read that correctly. When people hate you, you still have your dignity. But when they pity you, you’ve lost all dignity and respect!

Others hate smart people, but they pity the stupid.

Therefore, never hide your intelligence from anyone. Let yourself stand out and shine. And never feel tempted to hide your brilliance because you’re afraid of being bullied, ridiculed, or hated by others. Instead, ask yourself,

“Would you rather be hated for being smart or pitied for being dumb?”

I rest my case.

A New Perspective on Betrayal

August 7, 202219 Comments

Targets of Bullying are most susceptible to betrayal by those who masquerade as friends. The reason for this is that they long for friendship so much so that they attract abusers and users who will only exploit this longing to achieve their own ends. However, at different times in our lives, we’ve all experienced betrayal. Someone we thought was a friend did the unthinkable. And, when it happens, it’s like being kicked in the stomach.

It hurts much worse when you’re screwed over by a friend because you trusted this person. You may have even loved them. This is something you expect from an enemy, but never a friend. Therefore, when an enemy strikes against us, it’s much easier to deal with. However, when it’s someone we trusted and thought highly of, the pain is much worse. In fact, it can be devastating.

Therefore, once you’ve been betrayed, it can be hard to trust anyone else who comes into our lives, even those who may be sincere. When we meet new people thereafter, we proceed with caution and regard others with suspicion. This isn’t good either.

Why? Because, when we allow a past betrayal to cause us not to trust, we only push away those who may be sincere. We, in essence, give the creep who betrayed us power over our future relationships.

Sadly, I went through a phase during my twenties when I too was suspicious of everyone. I thought they all had ulterior motives and kept them at arm’s length. I let the fear of being hurt cause me to push others away and as a result, my relationships suffered.

Don’t Give The Person Who Betrayed You Power over Future Relationships

However, I’ve since realized that, with each person we meet and each new friend we make comes a degree of risk. Everything comes with a certain amount of risk and here’s no getting around it. And you either take the risk or you end up miserable and lonely.

Everything we do comes with risk, whether it’s going for a walk or driving to the supermarket. But you wouldn’t stop driving because of the chance of having an automobile accident. So, why would you refuse to meet and make friends because of the chance of being betrayed?

Again, life’s full of risks and you can’t allow fear to stop you from living. You must live life and you must live it to the fullest!

With Every New Person You Meet Comes a Degree of Risk

Therefore, I refuse to allow some lowlife from my past to cause distrust in humanity. Hell, no! I believe in giving the new people I meet a chance and not making them pay a debt they don’t owe. If they blow that chance, then that’s on them, and they would only reveal their true colors.

In closing, you must know that anytime you’re betrayed, the best you can do is to drop the person and move on to someone who’s deserving of your time. Understand that your time and you company are valuable. And you shouldn’t waste it with some chump who doesn’t deserve the privilege of being in your life. So, ditch and switch, baby!

But, whatever you do, don’t let betrayal cause you to distrust humanity and shut new people out! That’s a recipe for misery!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

How Redundancy Backfires on Bullies

July 28, 20226 Comments

Have you noticed how bullies tend to repeat the same personal attacks over and over again? It’s true that a lie repeated a thousand times become truth. However, it can also have the opposite effect- it can become boring.

Sometimes, the attacks go on for so long, they become boring to the point that they actually lose their effect on the target…and everyone else. Why?

Because, instead of tapering off a bit once the attacks do have their desired effect, the bullies only increase them, trying to make absolute sure the labels stick. They want to ensure that others don’t forget how disgusting and revolting the target is.

bored

But! What the bullies end up doing is repeating the same tired, worn-out lines and narratives that they end up losing support. In other words, it all backfires right in their faces.

Let Them Repeat, Repeat, Repeat!

This is good because the target now has leverage and can use it to their advantage.

If you are a target of bullying and your bullies are pulled this broken-record tactic, all you must do is to sit back and let your bullies do what they will do. You never know. They just might end up shooting themselves in the foot!

Then you get to smile as you watch them make complete fools of themselves. Also, you get to listen as people laugh at your bullies behind their backs. And, it you think they won’t dare laugh at the bullies, wrong. They may not do it to their faces, but trust me, they’ll go wild with the jokes and laughs behind the bullies’ backs. I guarantee it!

So, align yourself with those your bullies have bullied in the past. Enjoy listening to the ridicule as you laugh with your newfound friends and allies. Because that will be the fun part!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Why Bullies Usually End Up Eating Their Own

July 24, 20227 Comments

Bullies want to have a target or a victim. In fact, they need targets. To feel almighty and powerful, bullies must have people to dominate and subjugate. And having power over is extremely addictive to them. It’s like a drug. It’s why bullies repeatedly bully their targets over a a long period of time, years even. Because that “drug” wears off rather quickly and it won’t be long before your bullies come back for their next “fix.”

However, what happens when you finally realize who your bullies really are behind the tough facades, they put up? What happens when the masks fall off, and your bullies’ cowardice and insecurity come to light? Oooo! This is beginning to sound delicious, isn’t it?

Here’s what happens. Once the target sees these revelations, his confidence will get a big boost. The target will realize that she isn’t and never was the one with the issues. In this, he will find that it was the bullies who had the issues all along. Then, the target will finally have the courage to give the bullies the old proverbial middle finger and tell them all to go eat a fat one.

Moreover, the power dynamic will take a sudden shift and the scales will automatically tip in the target’s favor. In other words, the person will be a target no more. Remember that the best way to disempower bullies is to empower targets.

Because, once the target ceases to be a target, bullies no longer have power over him. Therefore, the bullies must go search for another target.

The Sudden Power Shift

When these bullies spot several potential targets, they’ll test the waters by performing several tests on these “potentials.” They will test these potential targets by watching them closely and launching subtle attacks and insults just to see how they react. But! What will the bullies do next, when things don’t go quite the way they expect? What happens when the potentials also give them the double middle finger?

Uh-oh, now they can’t find someone they can target! Curses! Now, what’s a poor bully to do? Simple. They begin eating their own. In other words, they turn on a member of their in-group.

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen! Once the bullying in-group runs out of targets on the outside, they have no choice but to turn their bullying inward and start bullying people within their group.

Remember that bullies need a target victim. They need someone to dominate and subjugate to have power because they can’t get power any other way. Without someone to ride roughshod over, to tell what to do, and to exert control over, bullies feel powerless. And you know what? They are!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

When Bullies Label You “Mentally Ill”

July 20, 202212 Comments

When people label you “mentally ill,” “crazy,” “unhinged,” take your pick, based on the lies of bullies; no one has to take you seriously ever again. People will automatically doubt everything you do, good or bad. Anytime society sticks a person with the “mentally imbalanced” label, it can be worse than if they deemed them a criminal. Because at least people take criminals, even murderers and rapists more seriously. What a crying shame!

Therefore, when bullies can con an entire community into deeming you crazy, they can make you disappear and become irrelevant. And they can do it even after you’re dead.

The most insidious thing about this label is that it can make the labelled person doubt their own sanity. In other words, it’s not so much that they think you’re crazy, it’s that they want you to believe it. Why? Because, if they can make you believe it, then you’re more likely to live up to it.

Further, the crazy card is the easiest for bullies to play. Although they can never prove you’re a basket case, there’s no way you can prove that you aren’t one.

The label, “crazy” is worse than the label, “criminal.”

This is why the crazy label is the most widely used among bullies and society as a whole. Also, it’s the most common form of gaslighting. “Crazy” can be used as a last resort when bullies run out of options and can’t pin anything else on you.

Think about it. They can’t as easily label you a whore if you haven’t slept around. Just the same, they can’t as easily label you a criminal if you don’t have a police record to prove it. And they can’t easily label you a thief if you never took anything that wasn’t yours.

Whereas, you can’t as easily disprove crazy.

Therefore, the more we understand the ins, outs, and reasons behind the use of this label, the better we can defend against it.

The best thing you can do in this situation is to keep your head and continue showing them up. It may take a while, but eventually, the label does get old and wear itself out. And when that happens, it will lose it’s effect.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

A Blessing that Feels Like a Curse

July 18, 202220 Comments

Now, more than ever, we must stand up for our God, our beliefs, and convictions. We must be true to ourselves, our hearts, and to the people who love us, and we must do it boldly and confidently. We must know ourselves inside and out.

In short, we must have the courage to be different.

The blessings of critical thinking and self-care can be dangerous today.

Sadly, in the last two years, this country has gotten so divided that people have lost family and who were once close friends over their beliefs, their convictions, their values, and their traditions. I’ve lost a few friends myself. However, I’m not afraid to lose people. It’s only God’s way of removing the people who were imposters all along and never deserved to be in my life in the first place.

Hey! I know it’s hard. But if you’ve lost people the last few years because of our divisive government and society, I want you to know that you did nothing wrong. Your beliefs and convictions are yours and you own them. And again, God is taking out your trash for you.

Therefore, sometimes, what is a blessing can feel like a curse. Some blessings require pain and sacrifice. But it’s always worth it in the end. And, who knows? You might end up with much more than you ever lost.

The blessing of seeing who people really are.

Although these blessings are quite painful, I truly believe that these last two years are a test. They’re a test to see if you’re strong enough to stand in your truth no matter what it may cost you. Never be afraid to be yourself, speak your truth, and risk losing a person you only think is a friend.

These last two years have revealed so much to us. Among the revelations are the true faces of those we thought were friends and were smarter. Moreover, these last couple of years have shed new light on the true intentions of our so-called leaders, whom we thought were loyal to us.

If nothing else, remember this:

You don’t lose friends, you lose frauds.

With knowledge comes empowerment!