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Enemies Are Better Than Frenemies: 5 Reasons Bullied Victims must Beware Fake Friends

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‘Want to know why enemies are better than frenemies? Here are the reasons that a fake friend is worse than an enemy.

enemies are better than frenemies

With clear-cut enemies, you know exactly where you stand. Therefore, you know to avoid them. Not so with frenemies. These people can put on a perfect act and fool you into thinking that they’re for you when they really aren’t.

In this post, you will learn why enemies are better than frenemies. Also, you will learn the signs of a frenemy so that you can spot them and protect yourself against them.

Once you learn all this pertinent information, you will be able to spot fake friends and avoid them before they have a chance to do real damage.

This post is all about frenemies so that you can spot them and protect yourself from being harmed by them.

Enemies are better than frenemies

Every single one of us has had that one “friend” or that handful of “friends,” if that’s what you prefer to call them. They seem to really like you and want to be around you all the time.

Moreover, they cozy up to you very quickly (too quickly) because you seemingly mesmerize them. They bombard you with attention and lay the flattery on super-thick.

They’ll butter you up with compliments, smile at you, and pat you on the back. These people make you feel so good about yourself.

In short, they’ll attach themselves to you like a barnacle, wanting so badly to be a part of your life.

Therefore, if you’re being bullied and are feeling insecure, this can be such a welcome change!

You’re bullied, lonely, rejected, and this seems to be just the thing you’ve been waiting for. It gives you that much-needed shot of dopamine you’ve been craving for so long!

You begin to feel great about yourself and think that maybe, the bullying might be coming to an end. However, you notice subtle signs in these so-called friends that don’t feel so good.

Occasionally, you may notice those split-second flashes of disdain on their faces. You may see out of the corner of your eye, a sneer here, an evil, piercing glance there.

Although your gut begins to sound off, telling you that something is off, you only think.

“Oh, well, maybe they’re having a rough day.”
“Maybe someone made them angry before they came to visit.”
“Maybe they’re just in a bad mood.”

Enemies are better than frenemies:

1. you’ll only choose people who don’t deserve to be in your life.

Wanting to believe the very best of the person(s), you mentally explain away the signs that tell you that something just isn’t right. Then, when it happens again, you begin to ask yourself,

“Was it something I said or something I did accidentally to offend this person?”

Next, your new buddy or buddies seem cold toward you. They begin to alternate hot and cold. As a result, they leave you bewildered as to the causation.

All the while your sixth sense is telling you to put some distance yourself and these people and to do it fast! However, you don’t because this person is supposed to be a friend.

You love them and don’t want to seem like a heel or that you don’t appreciate their friendship. Also, the bullies have suddenly disappeared, and you want to keep it that way.

You dread the possibility of going back to square one. Eating your lunch alone and walking alone in the halls are unthinkable. Moreover, having bullies target you again, is definitely something you dread going back to.

Therefore, you continue to tolerate unacceptable behavior. Why? Because, deep down, you don’t think that you can find better people to be pals with.

You’ve been bullied and shamed for so long. Moreover, you have actually forgotten what a true friend is and what it’s like to have one.

When you finally work up the nerve to ask them about their behavior, they either lie about it, downplay it. They may tell you that you’re imagining things or being too sensitive.

Enemies are better than frenemies:

2. You’ll only make yourself a bigger target by tolerating disrespect.

However, as time goes by, those tiny micro-expressions become more noticeable.  Also, the split-second glares, and subtle, back-handed compliments and coldness become more frequent!

Now, your Spidey-senses are screaming! These people are now giving you the silent treatment, and you don’t know why.

Suddenly, BAM! It happens! They lash out at you for reasons that are so trivial, or worse, reasons which seem to be made up! Moreover, you know you should tell them to take a hike, but you only blame yourself.

You may even give misplaced apologies. As a result, you look even more pathetic to bystanders and witnesses! Even worse, now, you look like an even bigger target to bullies!

Remember. The gradual but growing hot/cold, waxing and waning in their behavior only snowballs. Moreover, it does so until it turn into a terrible lashing of venom that leaves you both shocked and hurt.

3. fake friends will use the push/Pull method to keep you coming back for more.

Understand that we call this hot/cold, nice/nasty cycle “The Push/Pull Method.”

This push and pull technique is exactly how it sounds. The frenemy pulls you in, pushes you away, then pulls you in again.

This back and forth cycle is specifically designed to hook you into the friendship and throw you off your game! Therefore, you must realize that the person was more than likely never your friend!

4. Enemies are Better Than Frenemies:

They will make you the object of their jealousy.

You may ask yourself why? Moreover, you’ll wonder:

“If this person was never my friend and never liked me to begin with, why then did they exert such much effort to get close to me?”

“Why did this person latch on to me in the first place?”

The reason is that your frenemies were intensely jealous of you. They may have coveted something you possessed and wanted a way to punish you for having it.

Moreover, they may have coveted your confidence and wanted to bring you down a few notches. They were itching to put you in your place… to cut you down to size!

Therefore, rather than a direct, frontal assault, they preferred to out-flank you by carefully cozying up to you. Why? To trick you into dropping your defenses and handing over your trust!

5. they’ll hang around you only to get an ego-boost.

Another reason could be that the frenemy somehow gets an ego-boost from being “friends” with you and the thought of being seen with you!

Understand that this closeness is a way to hook you into the friendship. Why? So that they can gather intimate, personal details about your life and personality.

Then, they can suss out any weaknesses or less-than-desirable qualities you have. Fake-friends are like police detectives who attempt to build a case against you.

And once they gather the intel they need, they exploit this information. Moreover, they’ll use it as a weapon to harm you. They may use it to ruin your reputation and sabotage your personal relationships and associations.

Consequently, when you finally put your foot down and end the friendship, they’ll paint you as the mean, mentally-unbalanced person.  Therefore, they’ll trumpet any dirt collected on you to anyone who will listen to them.

I want you to understand that this is how frenemies operate. People such as these are very sneaky, meticulous, and worst of all, patient!

In Conclusion:

Let’s do a recap of the points we’ve just discussed.

It is much better to have full-blown enemies than frenemies because, with an enemy, you always know where you stand.

 Therefore, you can more easily avoid contact. On the other hand, frenemies (or fake friends) have ways of reeling you in and keeping you dependent on their approval and acceptance.

Moreover, if you are a victim of bullying, the relationship is much harder to get out of because you’ll fear going back to being friendless.

But wouldn’t you rather be to yourself than to keep company with people who only wish to bring you down? I know I would!

Remember that a smiling face does not a friend make. Not everyone who pats you on the back has your best interests at heart.

There are red flags you can look for.

Red Flag 1.

Excessive speed in friendship progression. Therefore, any time someone is so quick to call you a friend, be alert!

Red Flag 2.

Alternating hot and cold (flip-flopping). When someone runs hot and cold toward you, it’s a bad sign.

Red Flag 3.

Micro-flashes of contempt and hostility in their body language.

In these scenarios, the best you can do is to step back and maintain plenty of distance between you and the person in question. Only then is it possible to observe them and figure out their true motivations and intentions!

Do what you must to protect yourself.

This post was all about why enemies are better than frenemies and what you can do to protect yourself from people who pose as friends.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You

2. Why Fake Friends Stick Around: 6 Must-Know Reasons

3. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

4. How to Spot a Bully: 13 Must-Know Body-Language Examples

5. The Advantages of Having Enemies: 7 Powerful Positives You Can Take from It

Why Fake Friends Stick Around: 6 Must-Know Reasons

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Do you want to know why fake friends stick around even though they can’t stand you? You’ve probably wondered that if they despise you so much, why they don’t just go away and have nothing more to do with you. Here are several motives that keep them coming.

why fake friends stick around

Fake friends secretly either don’t like you. They may even hate you and wish you nothing but harm and bad fortune. Yet, they continue hang around like a bad odor.

If you’re anything like I was, you’re probably wondering why they do this. As someone who’s been there and discovered the answers, I’m giving you all the must-know reasons to relieve you of any confusion you might have.

In this post, you will learn why fake friends stick around. You will get these answers in detail so that you can understand more clearly and take steps to protect yourself.

Once you learn about all their motives and intentions, you will then have the courage to stand up to these imposters and send them packing once and for all. Moreover, you will take back your dignity and peace of mind.

This post is all about the reasons why fake friends stick around. The purpose of this post is to give you the courage to ditch these imposters and take back your peace.

Why Fake Friends Stick Around

Everyone has fake friends. These are the people who only pretend to like them but secretly wish them harm and bad luck. Moreover, this individuals desire to be in our circle and get close to us. But why?

If they hate us so much, why would they continue to hang around? Why do they seem to want to stay right under us all the time? It’s like these people want to literally attach themselves to us and never let go! Yikes!

These are the people who slither their way into our lives only to end up betraying us later.

Here are the reasons why fake friends stick around:

1. To watch you closely.

You may not realize it, but these people have a strategy. Therefore, they do this deliberately to achieve their own evil ends.

Therefore, fake friends stick around to study your movements and patterns. They want to learn your routine. Why? So they can better predict any reactions and what your next move is likely to be.

Understand that to learn an enemy’s patterns is to collect intel on them that can be weaponized later.

For example, undercover cops infiltrate drug rings so that they bust them and take them down later. Fake friends are no different.

If you’ve ever read the book, “The Art of War” by Sun Tzu, you know that the most fundamental rule is to “Know your enemy.”

2. To win your trust.

They know that if you let down your guard and trust them, the more likely you are to let them in on your problems and deepest, darkest secrets.

Also, when you trust someone, you’re more likely to feel more comfortable making simple, human mistakes. Also, you’ll and show your less than desirable emotions around them.  And why not? If the person is a friend, they’re least likely to judge you.

In other words, this person will watch the target closely, then establish good rapport with them. Then develop a close friendship with them to lower any apprehension the person might have had in the initial stages.

On the other hand, if the person is a fake friend, you unwittingly give them fodder and ammunition to use against you later.

3. Why Fake Friends Stick Around: To watch you fail.

Everyone experiences failure at some point. And your fake friends want nothing more than to be around to see it when you do fail at something.

They can then smile inside and get the satisfaction and gratification they’ve been looking for.

However, if you ever succeed at something, especially if it’s something big, you will see their true colors come shining through.

For example, if you accomplish something huge, like making the NYT Bestseller list or winning the lottery, watch the masks fall off. These posers will suddenly give you the cold shoulder. They may even lash out at you, accusing you of thinking you’re better than everyone else.

Also, they might accuse you of having connections who helped you reach success, or worse! Cheating your way to victory!

It will hurt, don’t get me wrong. But you’ll know exactly who these people are and you’ll know what to do with this trash.

4. They want to know your desires, plans, goals, and dreams.

Why? Because if they know what they are, they know where to sabotage you and gain a sense of power over your life.

Understand that any time you’re bullied, it isn’t so much the bullies who are the most harmful to you. It’s the betrayal of those you thought were your friends.

That’s what hurts the most and can be devastating.

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Moreover, what makes this so crushing is the knowing the person duped you into handing over your trust.

You not only feel violated, you feel like a complete idiot for allowing the person into your life, to begin with. It’s the worst feeling in the world. Feeling that you, in a sense, allowed it to happen.

5. Why Fake Friends Stick Around is To feel superior.

Think about it. By continuing to put up with fake friends, you’ve lowered your standards and they know it.

Understand that, in a fake friendship, the entire friend relationship is based on conditions. Also, these types of friendships are one-sided. It’s about what you can do for them.

Therefore, they’re getting all the benefits of the friendship and you’re getting zero! To continue clinging to this type of friendship suggests to the other person that you’re inferior.

Also, it means that you’re so desperate for friends that you’ll willing to eat shit just to keep from being alone.

And you’ve got to admit. It’s pathetic! Therefore, stop doing things that are beneath you and holding on to friendships that aren’t good for you.

Know that you’re better than that. And you deserve much better!

Again, remember that for them to be superior requires you to be inferior.

6. You convenience them somehow.

Many fake friends continue to hang around because of the conveniences you bring to the friendship. For example, you let your friend girl barrow your favorite sweater only for her not to return it.

Another example would be that you help them move their things when they get kicked out of their apartment for failure to pay rent. However, when you have to move because of a bad break-up or divorce, they never show up.

However, once you figure this person out, it’s GAME OVER!

Now’s the time to cut off any benefits this creep may have gotten from you and end the friendship right then and there.

So, how do you weed these fakes out before they get the chance to betray you?

Here’s how:

1. Be yourself.

When you are your true, authentic self, you only naturally drive away the fakers. These are people who don’t need to be in your life in the first place. This is a good thing because they would only harm you later.

Better to rid yourself of them now rather than to wait until you establish a connection and get close to them.

Why? Because once you’re close to someone, you naturally give them the benefit of a doubt.  Also, it’s much harder to believe they would ever hurt you. Even worse, even more difficult to have the courage to show them the nearest exit.

Therefore, it’s better to weed them out now and save yourself that heartache.

Why Fake Friends Stick Around

2. Voice your opinions.

This is more important to do today, than ever! Most people nowadays tend to get abusive and bent out of shape when they find out that you don’t have the same opinions, beliefs or convictions as they do.

So, do you want and let people see the real, authentic you. If people around you don’t respect your rights to be a separate individual with an independent mind, that’s your clue to ditch and switch!

It’s true that we should always respect the opinions of others, even though we don’t always agree with them. However, many don’t live by that virtue these days.

Therefore, when people resort to ad hominem attacks when you don’t agree with their views, they only reveal their own evil intolerance.

Realize that when you’re authentic, you force people to reveal their true natures and tell you all you need to know about them.

And this is how you weed out all the fakes and attract the people who truly value you and who deserve the privilege of being in your life! In cases like this, you don’t lose friends, you lose frauds!

Always remember that!

This post was all about the reasons why fake friends stick around to embolden you to ditch them, raise your standards, and choose people who are real friends.

1. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

2. Removing Toxic People: 5 Successful Ways to Give Them the Boot

3. How to Stop Being Too Nice: 5 Powerful Changes that Win Respect

4. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

5. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?