Tag: advice for victims of bullying

advice for victims of bullying

confidence-building techniques for students

Confidence-Building Techniques: 15 Powerful Tips You Can Use

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‘Want to know some confidence-building techniques? Here are 15 excellent tips you can use to build your self-esteem and start feeling great about yourself!

confidence-building techniques

Confidence is the most important characteristic you can ever have. And not only during school to ward off bullies, but all through life.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn fifteen confidence-building techniques you can use to become more confident.

Once you have learned all this crucial information, you will gain confidence in yourself. And most of all, you will be able to keep the bullies away.

This post is all about confidence-building techniques that you can learn and use to boost your self-esteem and self-worth.

Confidence-Building Techniques.

It does not matter how smart you are or how high your grades are. You can have five PhDs and be the most intelligent person on the face of the earth.

However, if you lack confidence, you will struggle to communicate or interact effectively with others. Your people skills will be lacking, and you won’t get anywhere in life.

The reality is that other people do indeed have a significant impact on whether you succeed or fail in life. Others are the gatekeepers to our success, and if you think otherwise, you are only fooling yourself.

What Happens When You Lack Confidence?

You can’t achieve that high position you want without being selected for the job by another person —the interviewer. This person could be the company owner or an HR manager.

Even during school, the vast majority of teachers are honest and grade students fairly, regardless of how they may feel about them. However, it’s still not unheard of for a student to receive a failing grade solely because the instructor didn’t like them. It does happen, though not often.

Confidence equals excellent people skills—great people skills equal charm. Charm is often associated with having great friends and connections. Having great friends and connections equals success.

People skills will always trump smarts, good grades, high marks, and college degrees! Always!

Confidence-Building Techniques:

Confidence is SOMETHING Others notice instantly.

Confidence, or lack thereof, is something that people notice when they meet you for the first time. When you walk into a job interview and meet your interviewer, he is going to notice right away whether you are confident in yourself.

If you’re not, it’s doubtful that they will hire you. The reason for this is that if you’re not confident in yourself, how then can you expect others to be confident in you?

Make no mistake about it. Confidence is the number one ingredient in all areas of your life. It’s the first trait that potential employers look for. And not only potential employers but also prospective associates, customers, friends, and dates.

Whether or not you are confident is something that everyone looks at, unless they have low self-esteem themselves.

Never let anyone take away your confidence.

This is why you must never let a bully take away your confidence. If another person has already taken it away, you must fight like hell to get it back.

You must realize that if a person steals your confidence, they also steal your potential for success. Additionally, they eliminate any possibilities for happiness. In short, they steal your future.

Bullies are confidence thieves! Again, never surrender your confidence to anyone! Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best when he made this quote:

“If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.”

If you ever encounter bullying, be sure to guard your confidence and self-esteem. Because your life truly does depend on it!

Confidence-Building Techniques:

Here are the 15 confidence-building techniques.

The techniques below can serve as a buffer to your self-esteem and build the confidence you need to stand up to bullies.

1. Watch and Listen

Believe it or not, your bullies get talked about, too. They have numerous enemies. And why not? They’ve been walking over others for a long time.

So, you can bet they’ve left a long trail of foes behind them – adversaries who are more than happy to tell you all about your bullies’ weaknesses.

And when they do, you’ll feel so much better about yourself. Why? Because you’ll discover that your bullies aren’t as invincible as they appear.

2. Confidence-Building Techniques:

Know that you aren’t the only one they have bullied

Seasoned bullies have had plenty of practice over the years. There have been other victims before you, and there will be more after you.

Why do you think they are so good at making you feel bad about yourself? How do you think they became so skilled at it?

They didn’t get that way overnight. It stemmed from years of trial and error. Therefore, they figured out what worked and what didn’t.

Your bullies had to have had guinea pigs (previous victims) to practice on.

3. Collect info on your bullies.

Find out about their personal and family lives. You can bet that bullies have family problems, too. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be going out of their way to prove something.

As I stated earlier, they have enemies. Find these enemies and cozy up to them. Then, have them tell you what they know about your bullies.

I have done it many times, and I can tell you that you’ll be surprised at the tidbits you discover!

4. Ingratiate yourself with others your bullies have bullied.

You and these people have something in common. Therefore, this should be a piece of cake! Align yourself with these other victims. And be there for them when they need you. In fact, be there for those who are suffering.

Why? Because if you’re there for them, then it’s likely that they will be there for you, too.

Bullies run in packs, so why can’t their targets? Understand that strength comes in numbers, and bullies prefer loners.  If you band together with other victims of bullying, your bullies will think twice before accosting you.

Again, bullies are cowards. They would prefer to catch you alone rather than confront you while you’re in a group.

5. Confidence-Building Techniques:

Keep company only with those who uplift you.

A true friend uplifts you and helps your confidence soar. They encourage you, have your back when you’re in trouble, and cheer for you when you reach success.

All too often, victims latch on to fake friends – frenemies who only tolerate them. These frenemies will subtly humiliate you in public. Then they throw you under the bus when you’re in trouble.

You may cling to fakes because you’re desperate for connections. And when these “friends” treat you like garbage, you may make excuses for them.

Why? Because you believe that anything is better than being friendless. I made that mistake myself when I suffered bullying in school.

6. Let Go of Fake Friends.

If nothing else, understand this right now! Anyone who belittles you, even a little bit, is not your friend! They’re only there because they know that you’re lonely.

You are vulnerable to them – vulnerable for them to use and take advantage of you. That is the only reason they hang around!

Do you want friends like that? I hope not! I hope that you will do what I finally did the last year of school. Which is ditch those creeps, and find friends who genuinely like you and want to be with you!

7. Confidence-Building Techniques:

Show off your talents and gifts

If you can sing, enter talent shows! If you can write, enter writing contests! So, if you know you’re good at something, find ways to show it off!

Once you’ve suffered bullying for so long, your self-esteem is shot to hell. As a result, you will hide the gifts you were born with. But it’s better to let others see what you’re best at.

Yes, you may attract a few haters, but celebrities have them too. So, let your talents shine! You’d be surprised at what it will do for your self-esteem. I promise you!

8. Do the things that fill your soul.

In other words, do the things you love to do most. Whether you love to swim, hike, or camp, find opportunities to do these things.

Why? Because they raise your happiness quotient exponentially! The more happy moments you have, the less of an effect bullying will have on you!

Doing these things will help to buffer your self-esteem against personal attacks. In other words, it will lessen the pain of the attacks. Why? Because you’ll know you have friends, allies, talents, and positive moments in life.

This is solid proof that counters any toxic claims people may try to make. And you’ll feel much better about yourself.

It will also help correct the imbalance between adversity and success. Many victims often experience numerous social failures and only a few successes. If you do these things, you’ll soon achieve a healthy balance between the two.

9. Confidence-Building Techniques:

Know yourself.

This means knowing who you are, your likes, and what you will and will not accept.

When you know yourself inside and out, you are better able to define yourself. In other words, you won’t allow others, particularly toxic people, to do it for you.

When you learn to accept only your definition of who you are, you can more easily avoid bullying. Why? Because you trust your gut instincts.

Therefore, you’re better able to recognize it. And when you can identify abuse, you’re least likely to put up with it. Instead, you’ll refuse to accept what you won’t put up with.

10. Know where bullying comes from.

Realize that most bullying comes from insecurity. Those who are insecure will often try to make others feel bad so they can feel good about themselves.

Also, many bullies subconsciously think that they’re inferior. So, they try to lord it over you to look superior. You must realize that they are not happy people. Those who are truly happy and secure with their lives do not need to put others down.

11. Confidence-Building Techniques:

Set boundaries.

A lack of boundaries invites disrespect. In other words, when you have no limits, others will walk over you. They’ll treat you like garbage because they know they can get away with it.

But, when you set boundaries, you build an invisible fortress around yourself to keep those who want to abuse you away. Setting boundaries means saying “no” when you must.

It also means standing up to those who verbally or physically abuse you. If they insult you, comeback with something that humiliates them. If they hit you, defend yourself.

Setting boundaries is the only thing that will keep away anyone who attempts to disrupt your peace.

12. Take care of your body.

This means taking care of your hygiene, grooming yourself, and maintaining your health. It also means eating right and exercising.

And lastly, it means dressing your best. So, take pride in your appearance and look your best. Because if you look great, you feel great!

13.  Work on your goals.

What is your passion? What are the things you would like to work toward? And what do you hope to accomplish?

If you have goals, work to achieve them. Not only will you be more in control of your life, but you won’t have time to worry about what anyone thinks of you.

Additionally, achieving those goals will significantly boost your confidence.

Additionally, if you haven’t achieved them yet, you’ll be so busy working that the haters won’t even be an afterthought. And you’ll be much happier!

14. Confidence-Building Techniques:

Make affirmations every day.

This is as easy as looking in the mirror each morning and making “I am” statements to yourself. For example, you can say,

  • “I AM beautiful.”
  • “I AM smart.”
  • “I AM better than what they say.”
  • “I AM a good person.”
  • “I AM worthy of love and friendship.”
  • “I deserve respect and dignity.”

There are many affirmations you can choose to tell yourself. This may be awkward at first. However, the longer you practice this technique, the more natural it will feel. And, most importantly, the better you will feel about yourself.

You will be surprised at how much this will boost your confidence level.

15. Talk to someone.

Tell a trusted family member, friend, or teacher about how others are treating you. Additionally, you can also consult a therapist.

But whatever you do, don’t be silent about it. You cannot afford to bury your experiences and emotions. The anger and sadness will only fester if you do.

Talk to anyone you trust. Why? Because when you talk about it, you release all the negative emotions that have slowly built up due to abuse.

In closing

Your self-esteem and confidence levels determine the entire trajectory of your life. They determine your successes, failures, and how others perceive you. Therefore, it’s crucial to guard your confidence with everything you have.

Moreover, if you’re low on it, you must learn techniques to rebuild it. And never allow bullies and toxic people to strip it away. Why? Because if they destroy your confidence, they’ll destroy your life.

The purpose of this post is to give you the confidence-building techniques to save your mental health so that you can keep toxic people away and preserve your peace.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

Bullying and Self-Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

The importance of confidence

Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some

25 Signs of a Toxic Person

Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

how to make friends when everyone hates you at work

How to Make Friends when Everyone Hates You: 4 Tips and Tricks

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‘Want to know how to make friends when everyone hates you? Here are all the tips and tricks that you need to know about.

how to make friends when everyone hates you

If you’re a victim of bullying, chances are good that your bullies have turned everyone else against you. Now, what do you do?

In this post, you will learn exactly how to make friends when everyone hates you.

Once you learn about this life-changing information, you will be able to establish common ground and form lasting friendships that last a lifetime. Moreover, you will be able to take back a degree of control over your social life.

This post is all about how to make friends when everyone hates you. This is so you can make life-long friends, defeat isolation, and repair your self-esteem. Also, you can have protection against your bullies.

How to make friends when Everyone Hates You

It’s bad enough when bullies come for you. However, when they turn everyone else against you, it’s twice as damaging. But what if I told you that there were ways you could still make friends?

It’s true. There are many ways you can make friends despite all the damage your bullies have done to your reputation and social connections. Here are ways you can do it!

1. Meet New People Outside the Bullying Environment

If you’ve ever been a target of relentless bullying, meeting people, especially new ones, can be paralyzing. I can relate because I’ve been there.

It’s easy to withdraw from social situations because you’re afraid the new person you meet will reject you. After all, it seems that everyone else you know already has. And you can’t take another chance of it happening again.

But never be afraid to meet new people because they are opportunities for you to make friends and allies. Total strangers are the best people to meet and establish connections with.

They make the best potentials because you have no history with them. They don’t know you from the bullying environment. So, you aren’t a target to them and are unlikely to be one.

With total strangers, you can begin with a clean slate. You have opportunities to put your best foot forward and start anew.

Therefore, when you meet someone new, don’t be shy or nervous. Find out what you have in common with the person to establish common ground. Be genuinely interested in the person, because people love those who show genuine interest in them and their lives. Make small talk and show them the awesome, one-in-a-million you.

I promise you that you’ll be glad you did, and your confidence and self-esteem will shoot up tenfold!

2. How to Make Friends When Everyone Hates You:

Befriend Other Targets of Bullying.

The old saying that “birds of a feather flock together” rings true. The Law of Similarity dictates that to find good friendships, you must establish common ground.

Recognize that individuals who share similar activities, experiences, perspectives, and attitudes have a higher probability of forming close friendships. Humans are naturally drawn to those who share mutual interests.

How targets make friends is to find like-minded people to bond with. And nothing bonds humans like a shared contempt for the same things, people, and groups. Therefore, developing connections with other targets is not only necessary but wise.

When a target finds others who have been bullied by the same bullies, it confirms that they aren’t alone in the fight. Also, it’s a juicy opportunity to make friends and allies. And these new friends might back you up the next time bullies come calling.

Commonalities Attract

Additionally, it reinforces the fact that you are not a bad person. It says that, despite what bullies and most others tell you, you can make friends.

It sends the message that you are a likable person and automatically discredits the bullies. Therefore, having friends who share the same experiences is a real self-esteem booster.

When targets unite, they share sameness and, therefore, are least likely to face conflict with one another. Each target in the group finally feels understood.

Case in point, sameness will always attract people to one another. People tend to become friends with those most like themselves.

When targets begin to associate with and create ties with others whom the bullies have targeted, they immediately establish common ground. It is this common ground that quickly develops rapport.

How to Make Friends When Everyone Hates You:

A “Target Rich Environment”

If you’re a target of bullying and you find it difficult to make friends, you can create a “target-rich environment” for yourself by staying among other targets.

I cannot say this enough- we develop the best friendships with those who resemble us the most. We’re drawn to people with similar desires and pursuits. If you can find common ground, developing a positive relationship will be a breeze!

But how do you know that there’s common ground before you even talk to the person?

You start by noticing how the person dresses. Are there any similarities? If the person is wearing a T-shirt with the logo or picture of a rock group you like, there’s a shared interest. And if they only have a slight interest in the group, you, at least, share a love of rock and roll music.

What a person is doing also gives clues. Additionally, their posture reveals many tells. For example, if a person is sitting at the lunch table alone or slumping in their chair, they may be a target of bullies.

And, if they don’t interact much with others, you know that they have low self-esteem. And low self-esteem comes from bullying and abuse. So, don’t be afraid to go over and talk to them. You might be the friend they’re looking for!

3. Realize that Bullies Get talked about too.

If there’s one thing small towns are known for, it’s gossip. If you’re a victim of bullies in a small town, you will be the topic of gossip. And that gossip will reach from city limits to city limits.

However, take it from someone who has been there. Bullies get talked about, too. However, people rarely discuss them openly. Because the talkers fear becoming the bullies’ next targets, the conversations are always held in secret.

Believe me, you aren’t the only one being victimized. There are others. However, the others are likely to deny being bullied. Also, bullies will never tell you if there are others. So, you’ll mistakenly think that you are the only one they pick on.

How to Make Friends When Everyone Hates You:

You’ll discover embarrassing info about your bullies.

If you are a victim of bullies, it would be in your best interest to find out who your bullies’ enemies are and align yourself with them. It’s what I did, and boy, did I find out some embarrassing information about my bullies!

I didn’t have to ask. I would only sit or stand quietly, observe, and listen! Bullies may think they’re stars, but scratch the surface, and you’ll discover that they don’t shine so brightly.

One of my bullies is now a nurse, and I am good friends with several nurses who’ve had the displeasure of working with her. In their words, “she is as incompetent as they come.”.

Also, she has a big family secret, and if you’ve lived in the same town that she lives in long enough, you know what that secret is.

I’ll stop here to protect privacy. For years, this woman has bounced from one job to another. She would either get fired or quit when things didn’t go her way. She has also been through five, maybe six marriages.

How Bullies Usually End Up

Another bully dropped out of high school and ended up working as a waitress. She now owns her own restaurant but barely breaks even.

Several others are incarcerated or have been. One was convicted of murder, and another was convicted of armed robbery, running guns, and possession of illegal substances.

The bullies I battled in school are only ordinary people. Yet, even today, most of them continue trying like mad to keep up with the Joneses. They want everyone to think they have beaten the rat race, but are failing miserably.

Most have never left the small town and still put on the facade of power and a perfect life. It’s hilarious when you really think about it.

How to Make Friends when Everyone Hates You:

Here’s a Quick Recap of the First Two Tips.

1. Befriend your bullies’ enemies. Befriend the other outcasts in your school, workplace, or community. Why? Because I guarantee you that you aren’t the only one they’ve steamrolled. Bullies leave a lot of shattered lives in their wake and make lots of enemies. And strength always comes in numbers.

2. Listen out! You will hear many stories about your bullies from other outcasts and other people who cannot stand them. You will be surprised by what you discover. Your bullies may get laughed at, too. People are only careful about who they do it around and are quieter about it. They must be, or the bullies will target them too.

Bullies aren’t as important or invincible as they put on. It’s only an act! People like these must work hard to maintain the facades they present to the world.

And the reason they give victims a difficult time is that victims don’t have to work that hard. They simply choose to be themselves.

How do I know this? Because I ingratiated myself into the good graces of the enemies of my bullies. And I would get an earful every time we got together.

Any information you get about your bullies is valuable to you. Always! Because it can then be used as leverage should the bullies come for you.

How to Make Friends When Everyone Hates You:

Bullies don’t want you to know that they have enemies.

Make no mistake. Bullies have enemies… LOTS of them!

However, they will never in a million years tell you about it. Bullies don’t want you to believe that others disrespect them behind their backs. Why? Because it would shatter the image of invincibility they’ve set for themselves.

Instead, they want you to believe that everyone loves them and thinks they are the best things since the wheel’s invention. And they want you to believe it because they want you to feel bad about yourself.

Put another way, if bullies can make you think that everyone loves them, it will work to trash your self-esteem. Then you’re more likely to believe the lie they drum into your head, that you’re just plain garbage.

A bully’s popularity and greatness (perceived or not) only serve to reinforce any dislike the target has for themselves after they’ve been bullied for so long. And bullies know this.

So, please don’t let this happen to you. Befriend your bullies’ enemies. Open your eyes to your worth. See behind the facades your bullies hide behind and the acts they put on.

Once you do, I guarantee that your self-esteem will skyrocket.

4. How to Make Friends When Everyone Hates You:

Befriend the enemies of your bullies.

“The enemy of my enemy is my friend.”

Your bullies’ enemies may not necessarily be those they have bullied. Instead, they may be witnesses who have seen how they mistreat others.

As the age-old proverb suggests, your bullies’ enemies are your friends. And they should be. If you are the target of a bully, rest assured that you haven’t been the first nor the only poor soul who has fallen victim.

Again, your bullies have enemies, whether they admit it or not. Only you don’t know it because bullies naturally put up the facade that they are beyond reproach. But every bit of it is a lie.

This may seem a little underhanded, but it isn’t. It bears repeating. Becoming friends with your bullies’ enemies will help you get them off your back.

In fact, social science has proven that comradeship is born when two or more people can find something (or someone) they dislike—a common enemy that they all share a passionate distaste for.

Find out who your bullies’ enemies are.

Again, you must identify who your bullies’ enemies are, connect with them, and form a friendship. Also, make sure to have their backs and vice versa, then you and your bullies’ enemies can unite as allies.

I guarantee that the enemies, whoever they are, will be more than happy to oblige and you will instantly become comrades!

How to Make Friends when Everyone Hates You:

There’s strength in numbers.

And rarely do lone wolves survive in the social world. Thank evolution for that one. The more of your bullies’ enemies you can make friends and allies, the more protection and support you will get.

Remember that bullies are often cowards, and they frequently pursue the lone wolf. So, if you can become friends with as many of your bullies’ enemies as possible, the bullying will stop. Why? Because bullies never attack anyone who is surrounded by others.

Then your bullies will go find another victim and leave you alone. How I wish I had thought of this back when I was in school! Things definitely would have been a lot different!

You always have options.

This post was all about how to make friends when everyone hates you so that you can find ways to get support.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Make Friends When You Have None at School or at Work

2. Bullies Have Enemies: 3 Ways to Use It to Your Advantage

3. The Advantages of Having Enemies: 7 Powerful Positives You Can Take from It

4. How to Shut Down a Bully: 11 Comebacks that Stop Them Cold

5. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

suicide from bullying rates

Suicide from Bullying: 3 Must-Know Facts

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‘Want to know all the facts about suicide from bullying? Here are all the details you need to know so that if you ever contemplate taking your own life because of bullying, you’ll reconsider and choose life.

suicide from bullying

The suicide rate of bullying victims has skyrocketed in the last twenty years. This is heartbreaking. Therefore, in this post, you will learn that we can help lower the rates of suicide from bullying so that we can give victims hope and encouragement.

Once you learn all about these details, you will be able to lower the suicide rate, starting with yourself, and then give hope to those who still struggle.

This post is all about suicide from bullying, so that you can discover just how serious it is and not only take steps to ensure that you, yourself, do not end up being another statistic, but give other victims hope and encouragement so that they won’t become statistics either.

Suicide from bullying

Bullying has made headlines for the last twenty or so years. Millions of innocent kids are targets of bullying in school. And technology has only made it much worse.

I look back on my own suicide attempt when I was fourteen. I was angry that I survived the attempt then. However, I’m so thankful for my survival today. I now know that God gave me a second chance.

And he didn’t have to give me that. There are so many bullied kids who don’t get a second chance when they attempt suicide. Instead, they succeed at taking their own lives. And it’s heartbreaking!

God did not give me a second chance because I deserved it. None of us “deserves” anything from Him. I don’t know why he chose to give me another shot at life. But what I do know is that I’m grateful.

Here are 3 Facts about Suicide from Bullying

1. Victims don’t really want to die, they just want the pain to stop.

Suicide is not a natural act. It happens to bullied kids and adults when the bullying reaches such a high level that the person sees death as the only escape. It’s not that the victim wants to die. I don’t think victims really want death. They only want the pain to stop.

Victims feel they have tried everything else, and now, it seems that death is the only option they have left. Victims die from suicide because they have grown tired of fighting. They’ve tried reporting it, but no one listens because they don’t care.

Suicide from Bullying:

2. When bullied victims die from suicide, IT’S from an ACCUMULATION OF INCIDENTS.

Many times, the few friends the person has aren’t true friends. Why? Because they don’t have their back when the bullies come calling. This causes the victim to feel betrayed and sold out.

Nothing is worse than the realization that someone you trust doesn’t have your back. And, there’s no one worse than a friend who does not value your friendship.

Why? Because if they don’t value your friendship, they won’t think enough of you to speak against the torment. The shock of it is akin to being kicked in the stomach.

3. It’s not only the BULLYING, it’s the isolation, alienation, and lack of support that comes with it.

Targets of bullying have tried defending themselves, only for others to blame and punish them for it. Victims of bullying don’t consider suicide when the bullying first starts. They only reach the point of considering suicide when the bullying has gone on for so long and escalated such that the bullies have become deranged.

And when bullies become deranged, all they can focus on is ways to hurt their victims and hold them down. They become dangerously obsessed with their victims.

As a result, the victims suffer so much abuse that they see no way to escape it. Also, people have stopped listening to their cries for help. Sometimes, even family members.

 Moreover, it isn’t only the pain of bullying, it’s the isolation and alienation that comes when others bully you. It’s all these factors combined that add up to pain that only a few can comprehend. And, it’s what drives victims to suicide.

Suicide from Bullying:

Learning Everything you can about bullies and bystanders can save your life.

Bullies bully you because they want power over you. They want power and control over you because they don’t have it over their own lives. Bullies are so insecure that the only way they can feel good about themselves is to make you feel bad.

Bullies are the biggest cowards in the world. However, most bystanders are also cowards. Sadly, most bystanders would rather watch someone else being harassed and do nothing to help them than risk pissing the bullies off. However, when they refuse to help you, they are just as guilty as the brutes who inflict the torment.

Another thing bystanders don’t think about is that any one of them could be next. And they wouldn’t like it if they were the ones being targeted and others saw it happen. They would be humiliated if people watched bullies pummeling them with insults, fists, and feet.

And what if one of the people witnessing was in a position to help them but chose not to? Here’s the truth you need to see right now. Most bystanders are arrogant. Why? Because they don’t think that bullying could ever happen to them.

Therefore, as long as it isn’t happening to them or someone they care about, they don’t care. This is what makes them just as bad as the bullies themselves.

The Trauma from Bullying Accumulates over time

People who watch the bullying but stand by and let it happen have no idea. They don’t know what it’s like to be on the receiving end.

They can never comprehend the pain this causes. It is a pain that most targets can see no end to. Again, all too often, a victim resorts to suicide to make it stop.

Suicide is one of the top causes of death among people ages 12 to 25. And the death of any young person is a tragic waste of precious life!

Some bystanders consider ridiculing another human as being funny, cool, or both. However, to the person being ridiculed, it is anything but that.

Small taunts and digs can add up over time and have a cumulative result of pain that is devastating. When others bully you, the suffering only grows. Each taunt, dig, or cruel joke cuts a little deeper.

Suicide from Bullying:

Bullied people were dying from suicide long before it was considered newsworthy.

Long before the late 90s and early 2000s, the subject of bullying was a taboo issue to bring up. You couldn’t mention it in conversation or even write about it.

Up until about twenty-five years ago, most people refused to discuss it. Targets often kept it hidden due to the shame that typically accompanies being a victim.

Why? Because in most cases, they knew they’d pay a heavy price for it. It was likely that others would blame them, accuse them of being the aggressor, or label them as “weak.”

However, here’s the reality. It doesn’t matter how tough, strong, smart, or awesome a person is. Anyone can become a victim of bullying. And bullies are such cowards that they always attack in groups.

Suicide from bullying:

Bullying usually occurs in numbers.

There is strength in numbers. In other words, large numbers of people can have a cumulative power that can overwhelm even the greatest, toughest, strongest, and most intelligent individuals.

If enough others are against you, you are powerless. It does not matter how strong, smart, beautiful, or easy-going you may be.

Only when school officials open up, face the truth, and admit that bullying exists in their schools can they tackle the problem. Moreover, they can make a safer learning environment for all students.

Over the last twenty-five years, people have finally recognized bullying as a serious enough problem to address publicly. It has made national headlines and is now one of today’s issues.

I believe that this is long overdue.

We must teach kids confidence.

Too many parents and schools fail to teach children the confidence they need to stand up to bullies. Teach kids confidence and save their life.

In closing

If you suffer bullying at school or work, I want you to know that there is still hope. Additionally, I want to assure you that you are awesome, regardless of what your peers may think or say.

  Rest assured that you are never alone and that there are so many other people – awesome people who suffer the same. You are good enough and you do matter.

You have value. And your value does not decrease because of your peers’ inability to see your worth.

No matter how hopeless your situation may be now, you must know that life won’t always be this way. There will come a day when you will be free of your tormentors. I am living proof that you can go on to live a happy, peaceful, and successful life. Just don’t give up. Protect your mental health. Strive to keep living.

You are worth fighting for, and you are worth living for!

This post was all about suicide from bullying, so that you know all the contributing factors. Also, the purpose of it is to encourage you to live even when things are at their worst.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying Based on Mental Health: 9 Reasons Bullies Target Those with Mental Illness 

it only gets better with time

It Only Gets Better: There is Life After Bullying

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Do you know that you will eventually escape bullying and that it only gets better after you do? Here is the encouragement you need to keep hope alive.

it only gets better

Your situation may seem hopeless now. But trust me when I tell you that it won’t always be this way. Things will change, and sooner than you think.

In this post, you will learn that the bullying you suffer now will eventually end and that it only gets better from there.

Once you learn this incredible truth, you will be encouraged to keep pushing, keep holding on, and never give up.

This post is here to remind you that the bullying you suffer will end. Then, it only gets better from there. Keep going and you’ll soon be glad you did.

It Only Gets Better 

If you are a target of bullying, you must hold on. Although intense- even unbearable, your pain will only be temporary. I don’t say this lightly because I know what you must be thinking.

“But she doesn’t understand! Nobody understands! Nobody else is going through it! How can she possibly understand the daily hell I endure at work (or at school)?”

I do understand. Once upon a time, I was stuck in the same spot that you are in today. You want to smile, laugh, sing, and dance, only for others to beat it out of you! So strong is the desire to believe in yourself and see your value. Yet others repeatedly and deliberately tear you down!

The night always turns darkest before the dawn.

All you want is to speak and have your voice heard! But others only silence you with threats of physical harm and further degradation. The threat of suspension or the loss of your job and livelihood hangs over your head.

Also, the danger of having opportunities for future employment ruined looms over you. Or you face the possibility of a school suspension or expulsion.

Survivors know firsthand what it feels like. You want to move forward, but bullies keep holding you back.

You want to escape the torment. But you’re stuck in a toxic environment with toxic people, against your will!

I know the bewilderment when people curse your very existence. It’s terrifying when bullies bombard you with death threats.

They force you to sacrifice your needs and wants for theirs. It sucks to see others getting gratification and entertainment at your expense.

When people dehumanize you, it can be life-altering. Many others, just like you, have also felt the pain of being verbally bullied. Many even get slapped, kicked, and beaten.

It’s no fun when people scorn, disregard, and trample you underfoot. You don’t know how much I hurt for you.

It Only Gets Better:

Know that SOME PEOPLE UNDERSTAND and They care.

We know what it feels like. It’s like someone running you over with a truck. The driver then stops, shifts into reverse, and backs over you again.

Then, he shifts back into drive and mows over you yet again. He then stops the truck, opens the door, sticks his head out, and asks, “Are you dead yet?”

And if you show any signs of life- any whimper or movement, it only encourages the driver to close the door, shift into reverse again, and repeat. Therefore, he continues doing so until you finally succumb to the trauma and die.

Yes. This is how bullying feels. Bullies want to destroy you, and it seems that they won’t relent until they succeed at it.

But there is Hope!

You will not have to deal with these people forever. Karma does repay- in spades! If you keep believing in yourself, you will become successful and happy.

Moreover, your bullies won’t even matter to you when you reach success.

You are beautiful, intelligent, and awesome! And one day, you will cross paths with people who will see your worth and love you- unconditionally- just for being YOU!

You will find a teacher, school, supervisor, or employer who will see the value you bring. And they will see you as the asset you truly are!

Don’t give up. You are worth fighting for!

People may bully you now. They may taunt you, call you ugly names, physically beat you, humiliate you, and turn others against you.

Those around you may make you feel sad, alone, unattractive, and rejected in the present. But they won’t be in your life forever. Bullies eventually drift out of it.

It Only Gets Better:

But rest assured, Your Life won’t always be this way.

Take it from someone who has been there. I had no friends in middle school or high school until I finally transferred to my new high school during my senior year.

Once I left *Oakley High School and began attending *Roseburg High School, that’s when life began. And I took back my power and started rebuilding every part of me that my bullies from the old school had torn down.

Leaving Oakley was the free feeling you get after walking away from a toxic and abusive boyfriend. And the same will happen for you, too.

You won’t linger in that poisonous environment forever. Life gets better.

When you escape, your confidence will blossom.

There will come a day when you will be happy and have so much to be thankful for. You’ll have a family of your own.

You will enjoy your job and feel comfortable in your skin. Also, you will accomplish more than you ever thought possible.

You will grow to love yourself, imperfections and all.

You won’t worry about what others think of you, and you will permit yourself to be you. Moreover, you will have the courage to say no when you don’t want to get involved in or do something that doesn’t feel right to you.

These will be freedoms that you will enjoy and never give up. Not without one hell of a fight!

It Only Gets Better:

Don’t Give Up! There’s Life after Bullying.

I want you to know that the bullying you’re subjected to now will not last. There’s a beautiful life waiting for you once it’s over.

So, whatever you do, don’t give up! Stay your course, and keep fighting.

Hold on to your faith and your dignity with everything you have. Because it may not seem like it now, but the best is yet to come, and the right people will find you.

You will be surrounded by family and friends who love and accept you for who you are, not only for what you can do for them. And you will have friends you never have to explain anything to.

They will love your flaws and quirks, along with your good qualities. You’ll feel so secure with being yourself that you can make fun of yourself and have a good time doing it.

You’ll be relaxed, worry-free, and best of all, safe! You will find your circle of friends, and once you meet them, they will have been worth the wait.

You’re worth fighting and living for. Don’t give up now. Stick around! It only gets better! Much better!

Your bullies only bully you because you have a light that blinds them. Therefore, they are trying like the devil to dim that light. Don’t let them do it.

You may feel dead now. But someday, you will overcome the abuse, and it will breathe life back into you. Don’t give up now. There’s always hope. Keep looking to the future.

Heed these words. You will have life. You will have love. And you will look back on this and be amazed that you not only survived, but you overcame!

The Purpose of this post was to assure you that it only gets better and that there is life after bullying so that you will be inspired to keep pushing forward when times get the toughest. Don’t give up! Choose Life!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. There’s Always Hope: 11 Things to Remember When People Bully You

2. Encouraging Words for Bullying: You Can Overcome!

3. School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids! 

bullying and school shootings statistics

Bullying and School Shootings: 8 Facts You Need to Know

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‘Want to know about bullying and school shootings and why you should think before you act?

bullying and school shootings

According to Science Direct, “Approximately 88% of school shooters had at least one social media account, and 76% posted disturbing content of guns and threatening messages. Over 72% of shooters had at least one reported adverse childhood experience, and 60% reported being bullied in-person or online.”

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about bullying and school shootings. Moreover, you will learn why taking a gun to school is wrong whether or not you were bullied. And thirdly, you will learn all the consequences of it to yourself and everyone else.

Once you learn all about this life-saving information, you will be compelled to seek out better ways to handle it if you’re a victim of bullying.

Bullying and School Shootings

Many victims of bullying end up destroying their own lives and the lives of others by taking a gun to school and murdering their classmates. This must stop now!

However, before we get into the nitty gritty of this topic, let’s first talk about the widespread occurrences of victims using their victim-hood as an entitlement to wrongdoing.

The Dangers of Copping Out Behind Victimization

Sadly, too many victims use victimization as justification for wrongdoing. They feel that because they suffered, life owes them somehow.

In fact, I’ve seen people mistreat others merely because of the bullying they suffered in the past. Why? Because they think it’s the only way they can feel empowered again.

For example, some people may choose to rob a bank. Maybe they burn down a corporate building because they grew up poor and didn’t get a fair shake in life.

Again, they feel that the world owes them. Moreover, they feel justified in striking back against a system they believe screwed them over.

Moreover, when the law finally catches them and hauls them off to jail, they become even more embittered. Why? Because the perpetrator feels that accountability only further evidences that they aren’t getting a fair shake.

However, here’s the reality many don’t want to accept. We’re still responsible for our actions regardless of what happened to us in the past.

Here are 8 facts you need to know!

1. Bullying and School Shootings:

Victim-hood does not exempt you from consequences.

Evil behavior always brings consequences. You reap what you sow.

Therefore, past victimization does not justify wrongdoing. Ever! A reason does not equal an excuse.

Even if you’re a victim of bullying, you’re still responsible for your life.

Therefore, why not learn from the bullying you suffer. Because, believe it or not, there are lessons in it. Let it teach you something. Also, let it motivate you to create a better life for yourself later.

Realize that school is only one chapter of your life, not the entire book. And know that things will get better. They did for me and they will for you too.

Many school shootings have happen in the past thirty years. We have Columbine, Santa Fe, Parkland, and Marjory Stoneman Douglas.

Therefore, it compels me to write about something which isn’t discussed enough. It’s no surprise that bullying is a factor most school shootings.

It seems that most of today’s kids don’t have the emotional strength that those of mine and older generations had. So again, let me remind you.

Being bullied is no excuse for taking human lives.

2. Your feelings are valid but your actions aren’t.

Not if you shoot someone.

Yes. Bullying can push you to the breaking point. And yes, after years of relentless and repetitive bullying, it’s easy to snap.

Believe me, I know how it feels when school staff cruelly rebuff you when you report bullying. However, bringing a gun to school and using it isn’t the answer.

Even if you do knock off a few of your bullies and turn the gun on yourself after you’re done, you’ll still leave death and mayhem in your wake!

Those left behind will still be here to deal with what you did. And, I promise you. You’ll leave your family and the families of the ones you took in utter devastation! In fact, you’ll destroy an entire community!

And people will remember what a coward you were. All because you chose to use a gun instead of your fists! They’ll always remember how you offed yourself to avoid going to prison.

And they will talk about it for years to come. Is that the legacy you want to leave behind? You have to think before you act!

Bullying and school Shootings:

Columbine

I have read many articles about the Columbine Shooting in April of 1999. Many experts stated that the perpetrators, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, had been bullied for years.

They said that the boys had gotten fed up with the continuous negative treatment. As a result, they finally went into a rage and lashed out. Sadly, many more victims of bullying have followed their example since.

I cannot stress enough how counterproductive it is to bring a gun to school! However, I believe there is something we’re missing here.

Somewhere along the way, parents have lost the ability to talk to kids about the consequence of their actions. Moreover, the mental health industry has also failed.

I know I’m going to piss a lot of people off. But, I’m going to be honest. I think that they’re in it more for the money than they are to help bullied kids. This is only my opinion.

3. public schools and the mental health industry work together.

It’s no secret that public schools and the mental health industry work together. Also, bullying in schools keeps the mental health machine humming.

It keeps the lobbies of mental health centers packed with fresh, young patients. Moreover, it keeps the pharmaceutical companies purring too.

They profit from shoving anti-depressants down these kids’ throats. Then, they send them on their way. In many cases, schools are the ones that recommend kids to these mental health facilities.

Hmmm… is it any wonder public schools do nothing to reduce bullying rates? ‘Gotta keep those mental health centers cashing in! Right?

And they have to keep Big Pharma’s pockets fat too. Mental health has become a cash cow these past few decades.

Not to mental, bullying, mental health, and school shootings make good political fodder. It keeps the left pushing for gun control and the right pushing to arm teachers and tighten school security.

Therefore, it keeps the political machine humming as well.

Bullying and School Shootings:

Teaching Bullies and Victims Personal Responsibility

Each incidence could have been prevented. Moreover, we CAN prevent the next shooting… before it happens?

Many want to preach about gun control. But, how about holding bullies accountable and teaching them better ways to deal with their emotions? How about teaching victims confidence and proper ways to defend themselves?

 And what about telling victims the truth? The cold, hard truth! That no one is coming to rescue them and it’s their responsibility to defend themselves!

Why? Because life’s not fair and it never will be. Most bullies are charming and convincing. Moreover, they will find ways of escaping accountability.

The point is that everyone has a responsibility here.

4. When You Shoot Bullies, You make them the victims.

Again, no matter how horribly you are treated, it doesn’t give you the right to harm someone. No matter how angry, sad or lonely you are, it is never okay to take a life. NEVER!

A cause is never an excuse. The only thing that justifies killing another human being is if they’re threatening your life or the lives of your family.

Murder is wrong. Moreover, there are better and more productive ways to handle bullying.

Let’s put it another way.  When you kill someone, you no longer get to claim victim-hood. Instead, you immediately become the aggressor and make your bully the victim!

Sorry. It is what it is!

You must understand that this is exactly what bullies want. They want to look like the victim in the eyes of others.

And they want to do it while sneakily torturing you and making you look like the bad guy. Therefore, by shooting them, you only make it so much easier for them to do that.

Remember that bullies are masters at feigning victim-hood. It’s the reason they go unpunished while you look guilty as hell.

Think about it. And think hard! Your bullies have looked innocent and vilified you for so long!Why then would you want to help them look like bigger victims?

5. Bullying and School Shootings:

When you shoot someone, your bullies’ lies about you become the truth!

Your bullies have already destroyed your reputation. Shooting them would only transform their lies into the truth.

You’ll only prove that you really are despicable person. In other words, you’ll only confirm that they were right about you all along.

Here’s another possible scenario. If you shoot your bullies, you will make them heroes. People will engrave their names on a memorial at the school. On the other hand, they’ll regard your name with contempt and disgust.

You will go down in infamy. People will view you as a disgusting and vile monster. Whereas, they’ll remember your bullies as martyrs. Seriously! Is that what you want???

Therefore, when you take the life of another human being, you not only put shame on yourself. You also put shame on your  family!

Do you really want to put the people who love you through that kind of humiliation? Once you kill someone, you can never correct it! You can never bring them back!

6. If you take a life, it won’t matter that you suffered bullying.

Nicolas Cruz didn’t think about this when he snapped and decided to go to Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School and shoot his classmates. Yes. He was a victim of bullying.

 The other kids considered him to be “weird”. One of his classmates, Emma Gonzales even admitted to bullying him.

However, he chose to handle it incorrectly. He picked up a gun and shot several classmates.

Therefore, the fact that he was bullied is no longer relevant. That’s. Just. Reality!

Bullying and School Shootings:

7. If you shoot someone without just cause, no one will care why you did it.

They won’t give a damn what your reasons were! And it’s the same attitude with Nicholas Cruz. Nobody cares that he was bullied. Nobody cares that he was pushed over the edge

The only thing that matters is that several kids are dead because of him. And if you allow your bullies to drive you to committing murder, the same will go for you.

Yes, bullying is a hell only few can comprehend. I understand the intense rage. It builds to a climax after so many years of putting up with abuse.

Moreover, I understand the feeling of hopelessness. I’ve been there… in the trenches! But! You must think before you act.

Keep your wits about you no matter how badly people bully you.

You must learn to think ahead. This means thinking of the possible consequences you’ll face. Moreover, it means considering how it’ll devastate your family, not only theirs.

Think about what it would do to your future! How many prospects and opportunities would disappear, just like that!

8. Your bullies aren’t worth it!

Don’t do it! Think before you act! There are better ways to conquer bullies and bullying.

Therefore, take revenge by taking care of yourself. Make positive changes in your life. Transfer to another school and reinvent yourself if you must. It’s what I did!

Find your purpose. Set and accomplish your goals. Strive for self-betterment! If people don’t value you, then you need to create your own value.

This could be as simple as doing something you’re good at and winning an award for it. Or making an A on a test!

Instead of picking up a gun, pick up as many successes as you can. Instead of a gun, let SUCCESS be your weapon of choice! Why? Because, as Frank Sinatra quoted, “being wildly successful is the best revenge you can ever take.”

It’s about self! Make it about you and what you can achieve! Screw your bullies! They don’t matter. In fact, they don’t deserve the privilege of being in your life!

Make a lot of money! Win a truckload of awards! Write a book! Cut a CD… whatever fulfills you!

Make as many accomplishments and happy moments as humanly possible! Create your own value with SUCCESS!

This post is all about bullying and school shootings so that you’ll think before you do something drastic. Moreover, you’ll find more constructive ways to handle bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Self-Preservation Instinct: Defending Yourself from Bullies is Okay!

4. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

5. How to Shut Down a Bully: 11 Comebacks that Stop Them Cold

your gut feeling never lies

Your Gut Feeling: Reasons It Can Save You from Bullying

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‘Want to know why you should always listen to your gut feeling? Here are all the reasons to never ignore your instincts.

your gut feeling

Your gut feeling is that innate alarm system that warns you when danger is nearby. Your mind may play tricks on you and your heart may mislead you. However, your gut never lies.

At different times in your life, you will meet people your inner alarm tries to warn you about. You won’t be able to easily explain the feeling they give you. The only way you’ll describe it is that something seems to be “off” about them. Moreover, you’ll get a sinking, creepy feeling in the pit of your stomach. And, you will feel the bad vibes pour forth from these people.

This is your gut feeling warning you. Therefore, in this post, you will learn why you shouldn’t ignore your gut feeling but pay close attention to it.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be compelled to listen to your gut and take steps to avoid dangerous individuals.

This post is all about your gut feeling so that you will pay more attention to it and protect yourself from potential human predators.

Your Gut Feeling

You will often mistake this feeling for paranoia and ignore it. This is something that a whopping majority of bully victims do.

However, if you learn to listen to your gut and avoid people who give you that creepy vibe, you will save yourself a truckload of trouble.

God gave us all that sixth sense. Most people call it your gut feeling or your instincts.

Never ignore this instinct!

Anytime you get a bad feeling in your gut about someone, you’re not being overly suspicious. No. What you are doing is picking up on negative energy.

Moreover, your inner alarm, your gut feeling is trying to warn you about a person or situation and keep you safe. Your inner alarm will warn you many times about someone’s personality. It will also warn you when someone is about to harm you.

If you’re a victim of bullying, you may not listen to this instinct because bullying and abuse fills you with self-doubt. Bullies may gaslight you and convince you to overlook your own intuitive abilities.

Therefore, you will mistake your inner warning system for paranoia. Or, you may go to the other extreme and not trust anyone, even those who love you and have your best interests at heart.

As a result, you will repel those who would otherwise be your true friends. And you will miss out on many opportunities for love and friendship.

No, you can’t trust everyone. However, putting up psychological barriers and shutting everyone out isn’t the answer either. This is another reason you should listen to your gut. It not only enables you to sense danger, it also helps you to spot those who are good and to trust the right people.

Your Gut Feeling:

Being bullied can destroy your ability to sense danger.

How? You may ask. Here’s how.

When you suffer bullying, your bullies constantly attack your judgement, decisions, and feelings. Bystanders may also negate and condemn them.

In that, they teach you that none of those things are valid. Or, they convince you that they’re wrong. Therefore, bullying diminishes your ability to trust and believe in yourself.

So, you won’t trust your gut either. When you endure bullying, it blinds you to danger because it dulls your senses of who’s for real and who’s fake. As a result, you won’t be able to avoid dangerous people.

If nothing else, know this! If bullies ridicule your instincts, know that you weren’t born yesterday. You’re not imagining things nor are you being overly-sensitive. And you are not mentally imbalanced or whatever else unsavory characters may call you.

When trouble is nearby, you feel it.

You know when something does not feel good. Not only will you feel it in your gut, but you’ll see it when certain people cut their eyes at you. Moreover, you’ll hear and see them talk through their teeth.

You’ll hear the short and cold tone in their voices. And you’ll sense the nasty vibes they exude. Put all these things together and you have a deadly mishmash of toxic goo! Therefore, eighty-six those people! Fast!

Again, never ignore this instinct. It’ll likely save you from so much trouble. It could even save your life!

Realize that you have more power than you think. Therefore, it’s up to you to listen to what your gut is trying to tell you and act on it. No one else can do it for you. You owe it to yourself to avoid anyone who gives you bad vibes.

Here’s the reason you should always heed your inner warning system.

Your Gut Feeling:

It helps you to pick up on dangerous people.

When you’re able to pick up on the vibes of the people around you, you have a gift. This can be a godsend if you suffer bullying.

Just imagine that you’re able to feel other’s energy and sense their moods and emotional states! It’s great because it warns you ahead of time that negative people are nearby.

Therefore, it gives you the cue that you need to steer clear of them. Therefore, it gives you the chance to avoid harm before it happens.

those sensations may not feel so good.

However, physically, they may not feel so good. In life, you’ll pick up some really yucky vibes from the people around you.

You’ll notice that something just doesn’t sit well when you meet them. These feelings and sensations are always physical. Moreover, you usually feel them in your body, particularly, your stomach.

Your body is like a radio tower that picks up frequencies. In other words, that tower is your body and the frequencies are the energy and vibrations that others put out.

When you pick up negative energy, you’ll get that sick feeling in your stomach. You may feel a lump in your throat. Sometimes, you even get that cold, creepy shiver up your spine.

Also, you may feel the hairs standing up on the back of your neck.

However, though it may not feel good, it is a good thing because it enables you to sense danger so that you know that it’s time to either run or fight.

Your Gut Feeling:

What’s best for you doesn’t always taste good.

Paying attention to these not-so-good feelings is like taking a spoonful of medicine when you’re sick. No, it doesn’t taste good. In fact, many kinds of medicine taste downright nasty.

However, if you’ll just hold your nose, put the spoon in your mouth, and swallow the concoction, you’ll feel so much better later.

In other words, pay attention to those bad vibes instead of ignoring them. And you’ll be able to excuse yourself from the encounter and avoid a potential attack. You’ll also be able to better avoid the suspicious person in the future.

Then, once you’re away from them, you’ll feel so much better. And, you’ll feel safer. Also, you’ll feel so proud of yourself knowing that you likely dodged a bullet.

When you begin listening to your instincts, you’ll notice Patterns and Details that most people don’t.

When you listen to your gut, you’ll also notice tiny patterns and details too. You’ll be surprised at just how much you pick up on that most others don’t. And, not just from other people, but your surroundings.

For example, as a child, I noticed things that other people never paid attention to. At school, I was often accused of not paying attention in class because I was distracted by other things. These were things like the black mold in the upper corners of the classroom walls.

The school building was old. It had been built during the 1940s. I would also notice the spider’s web in one of the light fixtures, or a red wasp that flew through one of the partially opened windows.

Maybe I would notice the loud roar of a plane flying overhead, or the squeak of a mouse trapped in the classroom waste can. Or maybe I had the displeasure of seeing the butt-crack of the fat boy sitting in front of me, who had a terrible habit of not pulling his pants up.

Whatever it was, and no matter how tiny the detail, I noticed it. Moreover, I’m pretty sure that others were threatened by that.

However, maybe there were reasons they were so threatened. Maybe, they saw the likelihood that I might see through all the bullshit they were trying to shovel. Or I’d notice the “fine print” in the stories and narratives they tried to sell me.

When you begin listening to your gut feeling, you’ll ask many questions.

In fact, you will go deep and tried to dissect everything you see or hear. And others will hate that about you. However, as annoying as it may be, what they’ll really hate is the likelihood that you’ll expose some true motives and hidden intentions.

Why? Because it’s only when you dissect something and go deep, you find the real malignancies underneath. The devil really is in the details.

In closing

Trusting your gut is one of the most important things you can do. Not only will you avoid bullies, fake friends, and other shady people, but you will also pick up on patterns and details such much quicker.

You see? Your instincts are like your muscles. If you don’t use them, you lose them. However, if you start trusting and paying attention to your gut feeling, it only gets stronger and more accurate.

So, exercise your instincts and you’ll only get better and better at spotting evil and avoiding it.

This post was all about your gut feeling and why you should pay attention to it so that you can more easily spot and avoid bullies and other nefarious people.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. People with Negative Energy: How to Protect Yourself from Them 

2. Fake Friend: 11 Easy Ways to Spot One with Bad Intentions 

3. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence 

self-comparison is the thief of joy

Self-Comparison: Why It’s a Confidence Killer

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‘Want to know why self-comparison is such a confidence killer? Here are all the reasons you need to be aware of.

self-comparison

Self-comparison is the killer of self-esteem.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about self-comparison so that you’ll know to avoid it like the plague.

Also, you’ll learn how to catch yourself when you start to compare yourself to others and shut it down before it does any damage.

Once you learn all about this evil mental disease, you will be about to keep your confidence and self-esteem healthy and enjoy being you.

This post is all about self-comparison and why you should avoid it so you can recognize it and avoid it.

Self-Comparison

Self-comparison is the enemy is the one thing you should stay away from. Here are a few reasons why.

1. It discourages you from being yourself.

Many targets of bullying get into the habit of comparing themselves to others. For example, a bullied kid sitting in the lunchroom at school may look a few tables over from him.

He may see the very kids who bully him surrounded by friends, yucking it up and having a good time. They seem to be enjoying friendships while the bullied kid is left in the cold.

Moreover, watching them causes an ache in the kid’s heart. It may even make him angry at the injustice of it. He thinks to himself:

“I wish I were like him because if I were, I’d have friends too. I hate him because he’s a creep and doesn’t deserve to be so lucky! Why him? I deserve it more than he does? It’s not fair!”
But when is life ever fair?

2. It makes you resentful.

Here’s another example. A coworker at a company sees another coworker who hasn’t put in as much time as he has. The boss gives the newer employee a promotion.

The older coworker immediately gets angry. Moreover,  he thinks that the only way the other guy must’ve gotten that promotion is by sucking up to the boss. He then begins to wish the other coworker all kinds of bad luck.

3. Self-Comparison makes you jealous.

The root of this is thinking that someone else is just luckier or better off than you.

Again, comparing yourself to others is a real self-esteem killer. But sadly, people do it all the time. When you compare your life to someone else’s, it only breeds all kinds of toxic emotions, two of which are anger and jealousy.

Understand that you cannot judge the appearances someone keeps up and accurately guess what their life is like. Because people are notorious for showing only the best parts of their lives and keeping the less-than-desirable parts hidden.

Also realize that some people, bullies especially, making it a point to flash only the positive aspects of their lives to those around them. And they do it for the sole purpose of provoking envy.

Why? Because knowing that others are jealous of them is a huge boost to their egos. It gives them a sense of power and superiority. Realize that the appearances these people keep up are only a show. Here are a few examples.

Example 1.

At school, many of my bullies looked like they really had their lives going for them. However, things weren’t so rosy for them at home.

Some of them had drunken fathers who would come home from the local bar and smack their mothers around. And they had to watch that!

Here’s another example. You see some guy at work. Every day, he comes to work decked out in fancy clothes. He pulls into the parking lot, driving a hot sports car.  He also has a six-bedroom house in the ritzy part of town.

Although he may look like he’s rolling in money, he’s more than likely living beyond his means. Chances are he’s in debt up to his eyeballs. He probably feels terrified inside because he knows that if the slightest setback happens, he’ll lose it all!

This is why self-comparison is such a waste of your time. Because it causes you to sit around, looking at those you think have it better. And, in reality, they’re probably much worse off than you are.

Yet, you waste all that energy hating on them. You must stop this right now!

Self-Comparison:

Example 2

You’re a single lady. You see a seemingly happy couple in a shopping mall. They look so happy and so in love. Also, they have friends gathered around them. But you have no clue what goes on in their house.

Her husband could be beating the crap out of her behind closed doors (or vise versa) and they’re only putting on airs. Also, they might be on the brink of divorce.

Example 3

You’re scrolling through your social media news feed. Suddenly, you see pictures of your next door neighbor, lying on the beach in the tropics. But what you don’t realize is that they had to clean out their savings just to take that trip.

You don’t See what others are dealing with in private.

Here’s my point. Never judge anyone who seems a little luckier than you. Why? Because, in private, they could be fighting battles you know nothing about.

They may have a mother at home dying of cancer. Or, they might have a father who went off to war and never came back.  The person could be buried in legal issues.

Self-Comparison kills your happiness.

For instance, you feel so content with your life  until you spot someone who looks like they have it much better than you. Then, all of a sudden, you’re feeling less than. This should indicate how useless self-comparison and jealousy really are.

Therefore, if you’re a victim of bullying and the next time you spot someone who has a lot of friends, think about this. Some of those friends may only pretend to like them. Those same friends may talk some mad shit about them once their back is turned.

So, don’t allow it to cause you to compare yourself to them. So, how do you get rid of self-comparison?

Count your blessings.

You get rid of it by taking your attention off these people and counting your blessings. Because although they may be luckier than you in one aspect, you are most likely better off than them in other ways. Think about it.

Also, understand that anytime you feel jealous of another person, it only means that deep inside, you’re insecure. It means that you have a deep-seated spirit of lack and failure. Therefore, you want to take the other person’s good fortune away from them and keep it for yourself.

And lastly, it’s a sign that you don’t feel that you can ever reach those goals yourself. Stop it! Because if they can, you can too.

Stop comparing yourself to others because it’s a waste of time and energy. It also drains your confidence.

Know that you are enough and your life is enough. And you never know what the future holds. You too may someday buy your dream home, find a loving partner, or get the opportunity to go on a tropical getaway.

For now, be happy for those who are presently getting those opportunities. Instead of provoking jealousy in you, these people should inspire you and give you hope for the future. Moreover, they should inspire you to work toward your goals and dreams.

Self-Comparison cause you to degrade yourself.

Although you can never control how others see you or how they behave toward you, you can control how you see and treat yourself. You have a choice of whether to keep them in your life or kick them out of it.

Remember that your thoughts are free, and you choose the way you think of yourself. You control how you see yourself. Moreover, you choose whether or not to care what other people think!

So, if bullies are trying to make you feel less than by rubbing their successes in your face, realize that you don’t have to put up with it.

No one deserves to live, work, or learn in an unsafe environment. You’re well within your rights to walk away and never look back. And, if you can’t walk away, then make changes that benefit you until you can.

Therefore, stop caring what people think! Stop comparing yourself to others. Be happy, be yourself, and watch the benefits of it begin to roll in! Then, enjoy those advantages!

You don’t have to feel less than because someone else is reaping their harvest before yours comes in. It isn’t necessary. You have just as much of a chance at success as anyone else. You just don’t know it yet.

Therefore, learn to love yourself. Be satisfied with where you are for the time being. Practice your talents and gifts. Do the things you enjoy most. And spend time with the people who love you.

Most importantly, give a little of yourself to help others without expecting anything in return. And I promise you. It will pay off sooner or later.

Jealousy isn’t necessary. Continue to work on your goals and dreams. Stay confident. Be yourself. And know that there will come a day when you too will enjoy success in all aspects of your life.

This post is all about self-comparison so that you’ll know how damaging it can be to your confidence and take steps to avoid it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Jealousy and Bullying: 7 Proven Signs Your Bullies are Jealous

2. Be Happy Be Yourself: 3 Benefits You Reap When You Stop Caring What Others Think

3. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You 

negative self-beliefs list

Negative Self-Beliefs: 5 Ways They Effect Victims of Bullying

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‘Want to know about negative self-beliefs and all the ways they can effect you if you’re a victim of bullying? Here are all the details you need to know.

negative self-beliefs

When you suffer bullying, it can have ways of playing with your mind. You may initially be a confident person with strong self-beliefs. However, once bullies select you for abuse, they can rip your confidence to shreds. And, before you know it, you’ll begin to doubt your worth and adopt negative self beliefs that match what your bullies think of you.

And, it can destroy your life.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about negative self-beliefs and ways they effect you so that you can recognize them and take steps to preserve your confidence and self-esteem.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will want to fight to keep your confidence and other things that truly matter.

This post is all about negative self-beliefs so that you can hold on to your self-worth and continue to value yourself even when others don’t.

Negative self-beliefs

Bullies have ways of programming you and turning you against yourself, if you aren’t careful. As a result, it can change the entire trajectory of your life. Negative self-beliefs are what Zig Zigler calls, “stinkin’ thinkin.'”

And they can turn your life upside down.

However, there are ways that you can counter this and change those negative beliefs to positive. All you have to do is catch those bad thoughts when they cross your mind. Then, counter them.

It may feel strange at first. But, if you keep practicing, it will soon become like second nature.

Here are a few negative thoughts you can counter.

Anytime you think, ” I’m not good enough,” immediately counter it with, “I AM good enough. I matter and I have value. My bullies’ opinions do not define me.”

Here are other examples you can counter.

Negative belief:

“Nobody will ever love me.”

Positive belief that counters it:

“Yes they will. People already DO love me. My bullies are only saying these things to tear down my self-esteem.”

Negative belief:

“Nothing good can ever happen to me.”

Positive belief that counters it:

“Good things CAN happen to me and they will. Things may not look so rosy now. But things always get better sooner or later.”

Negative belief:

”It sucks to be me!”

Positive belief that counters it:

“It’s GREAT to be me and I love being me. Others may not like me. In fact, they may hate me. But that says more about them then it does about me. So, who are they to decide who I am?” 

Again, you must counter everything your bullies tell you. Besides, what do you care what they think? They don’t matter and they shouldn’t even be an afterthought.

Why counter negative self-beliefs when people bully you?

Because bullying is a form of brainwashing.

When you suffer bullying for long enough, you become fearful and unconsciously hold yourself back. If bullies continue to tell you that you aren’t good enough, you’ll soon believe it too if you don’t stand up for yourself.

In other words, if your bullies succeed in drumming this crap into your head, it may become a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is the last thing you want to happen!

Therefore, counter every verbal attack!

Because bullying is so repetitive.

Bullies are notorious for repeating their attacks. And they do this deliberately to program you to believe them.

This is especially evil because it causes you to think that you’re aren’t worthy of love and friendship. And it makes you believe that you don’t deserve to be happy and prosperous.

Also, it instills fear. It is because of this fear that you stop taking risks. You no longer trust yourself to make good decisions.

Because you don’t think that you’re good enough, you settle for far less than you deserve. And, before long, you develop the mindset that good fortune only happens to anyone who isn’t you.

Bullies can also cause you to lose faith in humanity. You begin to think that all people are rotten and take pleasure in harming others.

As a result, this attitude only causes you to lose out on good friendships and relationships. And it only re-enforces your loneliness and isolation.

Negative Self-Beliefs:

Bullies can cause damage that takes years to repair.

This is what bullying does to you if you allow. It reprograms your mind and smashes your self-esteem to pieces. And it can sometimes take years to put your mental health back together again.

It causes you to do things that you usually wouldn’t do. You select friends you really don’t want to be friends with.

Moreover, you date partners you aren’t even remotely attracted to all because you believe you can’t do any better. But you continue dating these losers just to keep from being alone.

As long as there’s a warm body around, it’s good enough. However, by doing this, you’re not only being unfair to yourself but to the people you select.

You deserve to be with those you want to be with. Also, you deserve to be with those who bring positivity to your life.

And the dating partners you’re settling for? They also deserve to be with people who choose to be with them, not because they’re the only option.

Bullies may accuse you of being selfish when you take care of yourself.

Self-care is never selfish. However, bullies will accuse you of being selfish when you’re only taking care of yourself.

Therefore, you stop practicing self-care and neglect yourself just to satisfy a few ignorant bullies. However, here’s what you need to know right now.

Sometimes, you must permit yourself to be a little bit selfish. In fact,  a degree of selfishness is okay. At times, it’s crucial! Therefore, don’t be ashamed of putting yourself first.

 Never allow anyone to shame you into believing that anything you do for yourself is wrong. Never put yourself on the back burner to appease toxic people.

Selflessness is good, don’t get me wrong. However, it’s unhealthy if putting others first is done at  your expense.

Negative Self-Beliefs:

It’s okay to say “no.”

When you’re afraid to say “no” because you fear retaliation, that’s when you know you need to change your belief system. You deserve to be valued. Therefore, never allow anyone to forbid you to set boundaries.

Realize that you don’t have to allow others to shit all over you! If your life is heading the wrong direction because bullies have brainwashed you, you can change it.

However, it takes getting real with yourself. It requires that you admit to yourself that you’ve been duped. And it takes getting angry at yourself for allowing bullies to mind-f*ck you for all these years.

So, get angry and say, “no more!” You, as much as anyone else, deserve to live happy and in peace.

Changing Destructive thoughts isn’t easy.

Getting rid of destructive thoughts and habits is the hardest thing you’ll never do. In fact, if you’ve had the same thought patterns for several years, your mind will do its best to resist you.

But you can do it! However, It takes a lot of grunt-work. And, most of all, it takes patience. Positive change doesn’t happen overnight.

Negative Self-Beliefs:

Here are ways you can alter negative self-beliefs.

You must get hungry! And you must hunger for any knowledge that will help you change your inside. Only then will you begin to see a positive difference in your outside!

Read personal development books.

Therefore, take your first step toward empowerment by reading as many personal development books that you can get your hands on. Then put everything you learn to practice.

Why? Because, again, psychological reprogramming is hard as hell!

I can’t stress this enough! Your mind will fight you every step of the way. It will take you several years to notice a significant difference in your thought patterns and attitude.

Therefore, you will need to read a lot of personal development books. But be assured that it will pay off in a big way!

And things will be much different! You must realize that doing the work to bring positive changes in your life is the most important thing you can ever do for yourself.

Don’t let your bullies win by giving them carte blanche to brainwash you with their bullshit. Do what you must do to push back against their rhetoric!

value yourself

Always, value yourself, even when others don’t. Why? Because it will work wonders for your self-esteem. Keep fighting even when it seems you’re losing the battle.

Oftentimes, when things look the bleakest, your breakthrough is just around the corner.

Therefore, continue to love yourself and put yourself first. Reach out to only those who reciprocate the love you give.

Moreover, turn a deaf ear to the harmful talk bullies try to fill your head with. Better yet, send those toxic parasites packing! Because you don’t need them in your life! I promise you!

Do not be afraid to accept outside help. If you get counseling or take courses like Assertiveness Training, it doesn’t mean you’re weak. You must do what you need to improve your thought patterns.

In closing:

Negative self-beliefs only turn your life upside down. What we think, we become. Therefore, always counter destructive thinking with positive thinking. If you need extra help, read personal development books, get counseling, or take an assertiveness training course.

Do these things and I guarantee that you’ll get rid of low self-esteem. And you’ll see amazing results in your thinking!

This post is all about negative Self-beliefs and how they can negatively impact your life so that you can catch them and turn them around before they do any lasting damage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Benefits of Positive Thinking: 6 Positive Changes You’ll See

2. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

3. How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem: 7 Easy Ways

4. When You Stop Caring: 9 Positive Results You’ll See

5. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

loving yourself first is not selfish

Loving Yourself First: 7 Amazing Benefits of Treating Yourself Well

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Do you want to know the true meaning of loving yourself first and the positive changes that come with it? Here are the mind-blowing advantages you gain when you treat yourself right.

loving yourself first

When you endure relentless bullying seemingly from every direction, loving yourself and putting yourself first can be difficult. Moreover, it’s too easy to buy into the lies of bullies and turn against yourself when people hurl insults and negative comments at you daily.

This is why you must embrace yourself even when it seems that no one else does.

In this post, you will learn about loving yourself first and ways to play mind games with yourself when you feel your self-esteem beginning to slip.

After you learn all these important tips, you will be more resistant to any negativity bullies kick your way. Here are things you can do to continue loving yourself first that are powerful and that work!

Loving yourself first

What does loving yourself first mean? It means loving yourself second to only God. It means continuing to treat yourself well in spite of the way people at work, school, the community, and even a few evil family members treat you.

Also, it means not giving respect to anyone who hasn’t earned it from you. Moreover, it means protecting your heart, your peace, and your space by establishing boundaries.

However, when you are a target of bullying, this can be very difficult when it seems that the only thing you hear from others is negativity. Constantly being bombarded with ugly names, cruel taunts, and attacks tends to accumulate over time.

 As a result, it can have a devastating effect on your self-esteem. In other words, if you aren’t careful, you too will begin to believe the cruel falsehoods that mean-spirited others tell you.

Therefore, no matter how viciously others may treat you, you must do everything possible to hold on to self-love! You must do this even if you have to look at yourself in the mirror every day and make positive affirmations.

“I AM an awesome person.”
>“I AM beautiful.”
>“I AM worthy of being loved.”

You must maintain your self-esteem and never let anyone brainwash you into thinking that you are less than.

How you go about loving yourself first

You must love and respect yourself before anyone else can. Moreover, you must command respect from others, including a few family members you love dearly, and be willing to make some tough decisions to receive that love and respect.

Sometimes, you must be willing to walk away, knowing full well that there is always a chance that the person may never see your worth. This means coming to a place where you no longer care the slightest about the outcome.

Also, you go about it by showing yourself compassion and practicing self-care.

Yes. There is a strong chance that your value will go up in people’s eyes, and they may eventually see your worth. There’s also a chance that they may come to respect you and treat you better than you ever thought possible.

It may not happen overnight. In fact, it may take a few years, but it can happen.

However, there’s also chance that these family members may not see your worth and continue to treat you badly. Therefore, be okay with it and be ready to cut these people out of your life. That’s what self-love is about.

To protect yourself from those who refuse to see your worth, don’t only walk away, but do it without guilt.

If, by chance, people don’t change toward you, realize that you did not turn your back on them because you did not care about them. You did it because they did not love you enough to treat you with the respect that you know you deserve.

Therefore, ever look outside of yourself for acceptance and validation. Never depend on others for assurance of your value. Let love come from within your heart!

Loving yourself first means loving everything that is you.

It means embracing every single part of yourself that you can do nothing about. What it doesn’t mean is accepting some things about yourself and either hating or being ashamed of other parts. In other words, it means accepting yourself completely– your entire self and all that you are- your whole being.

Therefore, whether you’re rich, poor, or middle-class, embrace it. It’s a part of who you are. Whether you’re Black, White, Hispanic, Jewish, or any other race, never be ashamed of it! Embrace it because it too is a part of you.

Whether you have brown eyes, blue eyes or green; dark, red, or blonde hair; dark or light skin- love those things. Those are also what makes you you.

Moreover, love your nationality, your country, your state, community, and neighborhood because they too make up the person that is you. Whether you are American or Japanese, British, or Indian, take pride in those things about you.

Take pride in and love yourself, no matter your heritage!

Accept your past and be okay with it.

If you grew up poor and made it out, don’t be ashamed. Be proud of it because it’s a testament to how far you’ve come. Also, if you grew up in an abusive household, own that too because it’s proof that you survived and overcame.

The same goes if you were once a person with a drug or alcohol addiction but now sober. Be not ashamed of those things, for those are things you’ve triumphed over. Moreover, if you have a past of crime and imprisonment and have turned your life around, see it as evidence of how you’ve matured and use it to teach others.

Love yourself no matter your weight, height, or whether you have freckles, glasses, or braces. they too are the building blocks of you. If you’d like to change them and can change them, by all means, do it.

Loving yourself first means changing what you can change and accepting what you can’t change about yourself.

Lose weight if you want to or get contacts if you don’t like your eyeglasses. Moreover, it’s okay to look forward to beautiful teeth once those braces come off. Know that there’s nothing wrong with wanting to become what you feel would be a better version of yourself.

However, love the things you can’t change about yourself. Embrace yourself. Even better, celebrate yourself. Know that each of us is perfectly made, flaws and all!

Know that how you look, your past, your weight, height; eye, hair, and skin color; race, nationality, creed, upbringing, orientation, religion, values- each are the building blocks that make up the whole you.

The only thing that matters is your character and how you treat yourself and others.

Therefore, if you know in your heart that you are a good person and have so much to offer others. But that includes yourself too.

Remember that when it all comes down, no person is better than another. See yourself as neither superior nor inferior, but just as good as the next person. You are you and you love it!

Therefore, love and accept yourself. Believe in yourself. Moreover, take care of yourself and know your value and your worth. Know that you are worthy of the best life has to offer!

7 benefits you reap from loving yourself first:

1. You attract better people into your life.

You don’t attract what you want. No. You attract what you are. In other words, if you’re a negative person, you’ll only attract others who are negative. Just the same, if you don’t love yourself, you only attract others with the same condition.

However, once you begin valuing yourself, you’ll soon attract others who not only value themselves, but will value you as well.

Why? Because the energy you put out will change to the positive and people will pick up on it by sensing it. Therefore, you’ll begin attracting people into your life who will want to be around you and become friends.

You will most likely find true friends who love you for you.

2. You attract better circumstances into your life.

Blessings begin to flow into your life because of this change in attitude. When you love yourself, you believe you deserve better and better is what you’ll get. It’s just the way things work.

Your circumstances will match your disposition.

3. Your relationships improve.

Loving yourself first means that you have enough love to give others. Also, you give it more properly. Naturally, this improves your relationships exponentially because most people love those who love them.

4. Loving yourself first will skyrocket your confidence and self-esteem.

When you love yourself, it’s only natural that you also raise self-esteem and became more confident. Self-love is the battery that powers the confidence/self-esteem machine.

5. You’re healthier.

You have better health because you love yourself enough to eat right, exercise, and get plenty of sleep at night.

6. Your motivation increases.

You’re more motivated to pursue your interests and work on your goals when you have self-love.

7. You’re more productive.

As a result of increased motivation,  you bring more success and achievement into your life. This is why you accomplish so much more with self-love.

So, don’t you think it’s time you begin giving yourself the self-care you deserve? Self-love also means respecting yourself. Know that you’re worth it. And the benefits of it will amaze you! I promise!

this post was all about loving yourself first and the benefits that follow.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Learning to Love Yourself: 11 Reasons Self-Love is Most Important

2. Benefits of Self-Love: 13 Reasons to Love Yourself No Matter What

3. Benefits of Self-Respect: 18 Good Results of Treating Yourself Well

How to Develop Charisma: A Powerful Weapon Against Bullies

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‘Want to know how to develop charisma so that you can use it as a weapon against bullies? Here are all the tips you need to know about.

how to develop charisma

Some people seem to be born with charisma and come by it naturally. But sadly, others must learn it.

Moreover, learning charisma may not totally eliminate your chances of falling victim to bullies. However, it can lessen your chances of it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to develop charisma so that you can reduce the likelihood that you’ll continue to be bullied. Also, you can use it as a powerful weapon against your bullies.

Once you learn all about these important tips, you’ll be able to not only protect yourself from bullying, but make new friends so much easier.

This post is all about how to develop charisma so that you can make friends and allies easier and ward off bullies.

How to Develop Charisma

It’s true that your reputation can be your most valuable asset. How people talk about you when you’re gone can be the difference between your ability to make friends or not. It’s the sum total of the impression you make.

And first impressions are everything. They set the stage for your future in many areas. With charisma, you’re more successful and you have more positive relationships with others.

Also, you make more money and get faster promotions. Charismatic salespeople score more sales, and win more negotiations and debates.

In other words, charisma allows you to have more influence over the people you meet. And you’re much  more persuasive. Now, who doesn’t love that.

What is charisma?

Charisma is that alluring, magnetic quality that draws people in like bees to honey. Anther word for it is je ne sais quoi.

When you have charisma, you live in the moment with people. You’re focused on them and interested in them. In short, you like them more. And people have a natural desire to be liked.

With charisma, you don’t care whether they like you but you want to like them.

You can have all the good looks, all the fancy clothes, cars, and money. However, all that is nothing if you don’t have charisma. Why? Because charisma is something that’s much more powerful.

How to Develop Charisma:

Some people are born with it.

It’s true that some are just born with charisma. They have that coveted quality that goes way beyond having a pretty face or and banging body. In other words, these people have the ability to create rapport that mesmerizes people and makes them feel special.

They have that super-power that makes others respond to them positively and instinctively.

Years ago, when I was being bullied so horrifically, I would notice the people that seemed to get everyone to like them with little to no effort. Moreover, I despised these people because they had something that I wanted so badly.

I hate to say it. But, I’d give them a hard time out of pure jealousy. Also, when I asked a few family members how I could learn to be as magnetic as them, here’s what they’d tell me.

“You might as well give that up. You either have the ability to schmooze successfully, or you don’t.”

“You’re either born with charisma or you were just tough out of luck! You just have make-do without it!”

“‘Sorry, hun. That is something that can’t be taught! It’s something you’re born with. So, you just have to get along the best you can.”

You can imagine just how pissed off I was at God! In fact, I stopped talking to him for quite a few years.

How to Develop Charisma:

Thankfully You can learn it.

Thankfully, we now know that charisma and the ability to schmooze successfully can be taught, learned, and harnessed.

Charisma is an art, a craft, and you must perfect it. And you perfect it by practicing the charisma-skills you’ve learned on your family and closest friends. Then, you can work your way outward to the people you meet each day.

To learn it, you must read and study the art. Moreover, you must be able to identify the behaviors charismatic people use. Here are the characteristics of charismatic people.

  • Charismatic people enjoy giving others a positive experience.
  • Charismatic people understand how to make people feel great about themselves. So, they make them feel special and important.

The benefits of being charismatic

  • People listen to you.
  • Others give you extra chances.
  • You get opportunities others don’t.
  • Others will more likely forgive you for things they’d crucify others for. Bullies are very charismatic. However, their charisma is fake.
  • You get filled in on secrets others don’t
  • People make excuses for you, and give you the benefit of a doubt.
  • Others go out of their way for you. In fact, many people will bend over backwards for you.
  • You sweep people off their feet- especially potential partners.

How to Develop charisma:

Here’s what charismatic people do.

Those who are charismatic have certain behaviors that draw people to them. Here they are.

  • They seem to like you…a lot!
  • Those who are charismatic seem to value your opinions and beliefs
  • People with charisma seem to give you all their attention and no one else. They have a way of making it feel like it’s only the two of you in a room even if the room is crowded.
  • They make it seem as if you’re the most important person in the room
  • Those with charisma make you feel like a million bucks.
  • They make you feel great about yourself.

Understand that this kind of power is unlimited. So, nurture it, cultivate it, and exploit it! If you want to make your bullies look like the devils they are, you must first learn it!

Therefore, learn it and practice it every day. If you do this long enough, it will some come like second nature. Then, you can give your bullies a proverbial slap in the face by reaching unimaginable heights.

I can’t stress this enough! Do everything you can to develop your charisma. It can be one of the best offenses against bullies!

If you can create that awesome feeling in others anywhere and at any time, you have a gift that’s priceless! And the social rewards are limitless! With charisma, you have the keys to the kingdom!

In fact, you have that je ne sais quoi that most people covet!

How to Develop Charisma:

What is Je Ne Sais Quoi?

What is that coveted je ne sais quoi? Je Ne Sais Quoi is French, and it means, “I don’t know what.”

The term is used to describe a special but indescribable characteristic that someone has. This characteristic is hard to name. Therefore, it’s that unnameable characteristic that attracts people, especially suitors, and puts them under your spell.

When someone has a certain je ne sais quoi, people will usually say things like, “There’s just something about them.”

For example, someone who falls in love will often use that phrase when others can’t understand what they see in the love-interest.

Again, some people were born with this mysterious allure and come by it naturally. These lucky people seem to attract people easily and effortlessly.

Others, like many bullying victims, were not blessed with it. Therefore, they have great difficulty making friends. Shy individuals and those on the autism spectrum tend to have the most difficulty in this arena.

Je Ne Sais Quoi is charisma! But, it’s more than that!

You may be a victim of bullying who has difficulty making friends or finding love. However, all is not lost!

The secret to getting that je ne sais quoi is to understand exactly what it is. And, again, you can learn it! And, once you learn it, you can use it to your advantage.

So, what is it exactly?

Simple. It’s charisma. It’s also social intelligence. JNSQ is a combination of confidence, charm, and charisma. I call it, The Three Attractive C’s.

Therefore, the most precious thing in the universe isn’t money. It isn’t gold or silver. It’s these three traits because they set you on a path of success in every aspect of your life.

How to Develop Charisma:

you must have good self-esteem.

However, to have the three C’s, you must first have healthy self-esteem.

Sadly, many targets of bullying don’t realize this. They want these traits so badly but don’t have the self-esteem to back them up.

As a result, they live a lonely and unsuccessful life. Moreover, they secretly resent those who have it as they sit on the sidelines and watch them have a blessed life.

And, they may resent God for not blessing them with it, which only makes things worse.

Here are a few things you can do to raise your self-esteem and with it, your charisma.

1. Smile!

And by smile, I mean do it authentically. A real, genuine smile is one complete with the crinkles around the outer corners of the eyes.

If there are no crinkles around the eyes, the smile is fake. Realize that you must display confident body language or it’s all for naught!

2. When you’re talking to a person, say their name.

According to Dale Carnegie’s book, entitled, “How to Make Friends and Influence People,” a person’s name is music to their ears. Therefore, saying their name when you speak to them just makes them feel that having a conversation with you is all the better.

3. How to Develop Charisma:

Engage in small talk.

Never talk about anything deep. Great small talk conversations discuss topics such as the weather, sports, movies, music, and current events (just don’t go to deep on the current events).

4. Realize that it’s not about you.

One thing I want you to know right now. People care more about themselves and their lives than they do about you.

It’s just the reality of human nature. Therefore, become interested in other people and their lives. People always love someone who’s interested in them.

Start with doing the above practices and don’t be afraid to learn new tricks. Realize that you will probably need to fake it, at first. So, fake it until you make it!

It’s what I had to do. However, I discovered that when you act confident, you will soon feel confident. And when you feel confident, the fake becomes real.

Practice these things and you will soon be able to raise your charisma level and draw people to you. And once you do that, you’ll be able to schmooze like a pro!

But more importantly, you’ll feel confident as hell!

This post is all about how to develop Charisma so that you can keep away bullies. Also, so you can feel confident and in control.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Confident Body Language: 11 Ways to Look Confident

2. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

3. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

4. Raising Self-Esteem: 5 Easy Mind Hacks that Help

opinions are not facts quotes

Opinions are Not Facts: 7 Reasons Those of Bullies Don’t Matter

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Opinions are not facts. ‘Want to know why they’re so cheap? Here are the reasons you shouldn’t care what others think of you.

opinions are not facts

It seems the people who know the least about us are the ones who have the most to say.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn that opinions are not facts. Moreover, you’ll learn why you shouldn’t care what others think or say about you.

Once you learn these essential truths, you will no longer let the words of a bully or anyone else who doesn’t matter phase you.

This post is all about why opinions aren’t facts, so that you can let others’ snarky words roll down your back and keep it moving.

Opinions are not facts

Facts are truths about you. Opinions are what people think of you.

Bullies talk a lot of crap and put on a fake persona. Moreover, they’re loud and obnoxious, which translates to thirsty for attention and admiration.

“Hey! Look at me! Look at me!”

Their lives are so pathetic that the only way they can feel good about themselves is to make others feel bad. It’s all because bullies are insecure and afraid.

They’re scared that someone else is either going to outshine them somehow or make them look inferior. However, should what they think of you ever matter?

What if I told you that your bullies’ negative thoughts of you only reflected those they secretly have of themselves?

Would you believe me if I said that their hatred of you is only a reflection of their own pathetic self-loathing? And that they’re only trying to put it all off on you?

Understand that bullies put on quite a show to look significant and relevant. Also, they must work damn hard at keeping up their images.

When you stop and think about it, it’s just as pathetic as when someone stuffs their bra or puts a sock in their crotch. Anyone who must expend such an enormous amount of effort to keep the less-than-perfect parts of themselves hidden can’t be a person who likes themselves much.

Therefore, why should you value the opinion of some buffoon who’s desperate to be seen? Realize that this person’s opinion has no merit whatsoever. And their hurtful words carry little weight, if any at all.

If you know what to look for, you’ll see these people for what they are, and you won’t take them seriously. And when you do, it will buffer you from their attacks and your self-esteem will skyrocket!

Here are 7 reasons why the opinions of bullies don’t matter.

1. Opinions Are Not FActs:

Most Bullies are Fakers and Posers

In fact, most of them are posers and fakers. Moreover, these impostors account for at least ninety percent of the population.

Therefore, should it be surprising that in high school and in the workplace, everything is based on appearances? Realize that those who fake it the best and most convincingly are the most popular ones in the bunch.

Also, they’re more than likely bullies to boot.

However, most people ignore detail. And, they aren’t concerned with facts. Thankfully, there are a few who do. Even during high school, I noticed details right off.

For instance, in the lunch line, I would notice that most of the guys in the clique would wear their flashy, designer clothes. However, most of them would pull out a cheap, fifteen-dollar wallet to pay for their lunches.

Many bullies do the same thing. They pose.

2. Most of them will bully you over your virtues, not your faults.

But you? You know that you don’t need to be fake and put on any fronts, yet you’re the one getting bullied. Do you know why?

It’s because you’re better than that, and your bullies know it. Therefore, because you choose to be your authentic self, they give you a hard time over it.

Your bullies are jealous of you because you have the guts to be yourself. Moreover, you don’t have to work as hard as they do. Maintaining fake appearances takes a lot of work.

Therefore, they project their fakery and insecurities onto you. Realize that authentic people will receive a lot of hate. Those who are comfortable with being themselves are those most likely to suffer bullying.

It’s just a part of the messed-up world we live in.

So, I want you to know that when people bully you, it is not because you’re doing something wrong. It’s because you’re doing something right. In other words, it’s not that there’s something wrong with you; it’s because there’s something right with you.

3. Opinions Are Not Facts:

The value you give to an opinion is based on THE relationship with the person who has it.

“In order to insult me, I must first value your opinion. Nice try, though!”
~ T-Ronn Hicks ~

It’s a shame that most don’t realize this. But it’s true! When you value someone’s opinion of you, you’re naturally going to feel insulted if those opinions aren’t favorable.

Therefore, value the opinions of those most important in your life. Those people are the ones who love you and help to grow and shape you into a better person. These people lift you up and help you feel better about yourself.

Moreover, they encourage you to reach for your goals.  They’re most likely to be your family, friends, and your favorite mentors.

They are those whose opinions you should value.

On the other hand, if you don’t consider certain people important, you won’t value their opinions. Some people do not deserve your respect for their opinions.

And those people are those who hurt or abuse you. Your bullies fall into this category.

4. Bullies and abusers don’t qualify.

I want you to understand that if a person seeks to harm you in any way, their opinions hold no value. Therefore, you should consider them null and void!

They’re of no importance to you whatsoever! Why? Because they can bring absolutely no good to your life!

Again, you should only value the opinions of those who love and care about you.  They are the ones who are down for your good and your advancement!

However, people who continually tear you down, wreck your self-esteem, and belittle you should have zero significance to you.

It doesn’t matter if they are in a high position. And, it doesn’t matter if they’re popular or have the most money. If they consistently tear you down, they’re no good to you.

Therefore, you should just blow them off and keep going.

Defending yourself and valuing the wrong people’s opinions isn’t the same.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t assert yourself if someone violates your boundaries. Because you should! However, don’t let it cause you to love yourself any less.

Blow off the petty put-downs of bullies. Why? Because, more than likely, the insults they spew have no merit in the first place!

I know it’s not easy. Believe me. I’ve been there. It took too many years for me to finally realize this important rule of life, but I’m glad I finally did. Better late than never.

Know that you can do it. Avoid toxic people as much as possible and only keep company with the people who have your best at heart.

You will know who these people are. Your gut will tell you. Moreover, their behavior will tell you. So, listen to that gut instinct and pay attention to the vibes others around you put out!

 You’ll thank yourself later!

5. Opinions are Not Facts:

“If you care too much about what others think, you care less about yourself.”

This is what a fellow blogger wrote a few years back. And, she was right!

When you care too much about what other people think, you become a slave to those people. In other words, these morons own you.

Any time you care too much about the thoughts and opinions of others, you’ll bend over backward to prove your worth. You’ll be a yes-person because you won’t have the guts to say no when you really want to say it.

You’ll do things you’d rather not do. Also, you’ll agree with things that go against your beliefs and convictions. You’ll sacrifice your time, your resources, and yourself for people who don’t deserve it.

6. You’ll lose respect for yourself and others will too.

You’ll fall for other people’s BS and accept crappy behavior from them just to avoid conflict. And they’ll see you as a pushover.

In other words, you’ll be a doormat and lose respect for yourself. And you’ll look pathetic! To put it bluntly, you’ll kiss butt and eat shit all for the sake of approval. Yuck!

You’ll only attract users, abusers, and losers, who’ll only deplete you of time, energy, and worst of all, self-esteem!

Even worse, your submissiveness will become expected after a while. And once you do finally get tired of being walked on and grow a spine, people won’t respect you for it. They’ll be offended by it.

‘You see, here’s the thing. If you truly know your value, you don’t have to prove it because you know it’s there. Even better, others see it too. Why? Because they not only sense that others’ opinions don’t faze you, but they can see it in your demeanor.

So, stop caring what bullies and abusers think of you. They shouldn’t even matter to you.

7. Opinions Are Not Facts:

Although they can Affect Our Lives to a degree, opinions are not facts.

This bears repeating. Bullies’ opinions shouldn’t concern you. However, it doesn’t mean they can’t affect you, or even hinder you.

The reality is that the bullies’ opinions of you can have a massive impact on your life. Moreover, you may not want to admit it. And, no, it isn’t fair.

However, the reality is that the personal opinions of other people are often the deciding factor on whether you’re well-liked or hated.

Bullies influence the attitudes of others who otherwise wouldn’t have issues with you at all. Additionally, the opinions of bullies can spread far and wide.

They make bullies out of those who, under normal circumstances, would never resort to mistreating another human being. It’s amazing what a contagion effect bullying has on schools, companies, organizations, and communities.

However, don’t let that discourage you. Know that opinions aren’t facts and refuse to care what they think.

Why? Because, nine times out of then, if you don’t give a rat’s ass about others opinions, they won’t affect you. Moreover, others will notice that you don’t care. Then, they’ll leave you alone and go find someone else to bully and push their cheap opinions on.

This post is all about the truth that opinions aren’t facts so that you won’t care so much about the opinions of bullies and other people who don’t matter.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn 

2. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps 

3. When You Stop Caring: 9 Positive Results You’ll See 

4. Facts About Respect: 9 Time-Tested Truths You Must Know

how to stop over-explaining yourself

How to Stop Over-Explaining: 9 Powerful Mind-Hacks You Can Use

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‘Want to know how to stop over-explaining? Here are all the mind hacks you need to know about.

how to stop over-explaining

Too many victims of bullying feel that they must explain themselves to everyone. However, some things just don’t need explaining.

Therefore, you shouldn’t explain yourself to people who mean very little to you. That includes bullies and haters.

In this post, you will learn how to stop over-explaining yourself so that you can enjoy more freedom and autonomy.

Once you learn all about these important tidbits, you will no longer feel the need to explain yourself to anyone you don’t owe anything to. As a result, you’ll feel much better about yourself and freer to do your own thing.

This post is all about how to stop over-explaining so that you can free yourself from other people’s ignorance and judgments.

How to Stop Over-Explaining

It’s amazing how we waste so much of our time and energy caring about what others think of us. Moreover, these are usually people whose opinions of us have absolutely no bearing on our lives!

I want you to understand that there will always be people who judge you negatively without knowing you. It’s a part of life.

Moreover, those who say the most are usually the ones who know the least about you. So, why do you place so much value on their opinions? Why do you need to explain yourself to them?

Don’t explain yourself to the wrong people

I can understand if the person means a lot to you. Longing to be accepted is human nature and we’re all hardwired to desire human connection.

Also, it’s good to value opinions of our families, friends, and those who love us and want best for us. Why? Because their opinions of us are credible and we value them.

However, a bully or hater’s opinion isn’t credible. It has no value and shouldn’t matter at all. These people add nothing to your life, they only take from it!

So, again, are people who are of no benefit to you even worth the energy expenditure? Should what they think of you even matter?

And do their meaningless opinions have any bearing on your life? Are they a superior at work or school and do they have the power to determine what happens to us?

If not, then chalk their opinions up as just a bunch of noise that you need to mute. Why? Because they aren’t worthy of any explanations or apologies.

And, if you continue over-explaining yourself to the wrong people, you only make yourself a bigger target to them.

1. How to stop over-explaining:

See your bullies’ opinions as a bunch of drivel.

One of sad things about suffering bullying is that others will always stick their noses in your business. Moreover, if you so much as scratch your nose, they will happily insert their cheap two cents on it.

Therefore, chances are that you’re doing all the research on how to refuse to answer to your bullies.

If nothing else, know this! You do NOT have to explain yourself to anyone. Sure, people have told you this time and time again. But how do you gather the courage to refuse?

2. See your bullies’ unsolicited opinions as tiny power-grabs.

Your bullies are only trying to strip you of your personal power.

Therefore, realize that you don’t have to answer to these ignoramuses. Tell them to take a long walk off a short pier. And take back your peace of mind.

Again, you don’t have to explain yourself to these pieces of garbage.

Why? Because bullies don’t care what your reasons are. They just want to run their mouths to undermine your autonomy. So, you don’t owe those creeps a damn thing!

3. Understand that Your bullies are trying to Bait you into a reaction.

Understand that bullies are playing games with you. Moreover, there’s a psychological payoff to these little mind-games.

Baiting you to react gives your bullies satisfaction, gratification, and a massive rush of power.

To put it simpler, while you’re wasting your breath, trying to explain yourself to your bullies, they’re smiling inside over how easy it was to get you riled up.

They’re getting their kicks off their ability to make you nervous and afraid. Therefore, realize that some things don’t need an explanation and some people don’t deserve one.

4. How to Stop Over-Explaining:

Understand that Explanations are a waste of time and energy

Why? For these reasons.

  • No matter what you say or how you say it, bullies will never believe you.
  • Most people only believe whatever feels convenient.
  • They aren’t interested in evidence or facts. Facts may only deter them for the time being. However, your bullies will only get angrier at you for having the gall to prove them wrong.
  • They’ll regroup, reorganize, then come back at you with a whole new accusation and demand another explanation later.

Therefore, it’s better just to tell them, up front, that you don’t owe them any explanations. Then, end the confrontation by telling them all to step off before turning your back and walking away.

5. See Your Bullies’ Opinions as a mind-Game.

Realize that your bullies get their thrills from knowing they have you jumping through hoops to prove yourself. Therefore, stop trying so hard to explain yourself to those who aren’t worth pissing on.

Therefore, who are they that you should have to explain anything? Why should you care what they think?

Are they even worth your consideration? They don’t pay your bills. And they don’t sign your paychecks. They damn sure aren’t important to you.

Are they even up to your level? Do they bring anything worthwhile to your life?

Ask yourself these questions and you’ll know the answers. Moreover, you’ll realize that you don’t owe these morons jack shit!

I understand that bullies can be intimidating and threatening. It’s hard to resist an explanation when you’re scared to death.

It’s difficult not to began rattling off when you just want them to go away and leave you in peace. But trust me, they won’t! Remember, bullies and abusers always come back for more!

This bears repeating. It won’t make things better. If anything, the harassment will only get worse because your reaction will only make you an even bigger and easier target.

6. How to Stop Over-Explaining:

See their opinions as a trap!

When your bullies attempt to interact with you, they’ll try to suck you into the explaining trap. And, no matter how you much you explain things, they’ll only pretend not to understand.

In fact, they’ll never accept anything you have to say.

Again, most things don’t need an explanation. However, it doesn’t mean bullies won’t try. They’ll do their damnedest to get you to give needless explanations.

And, if you don’t understand how to avoid this trap, they’re have you running on an endless hamster wheel of trying to clear up things that aren’t a big deal.

You’ll only wear yourself out, trying to explain yourself to idiots who aren’t worthy of your time or consideration.

Therefore, realize that this is just another bullying tactic.

7. Realize that your bullies are trying To throw you off-balance

Realize that your bullies only make you explain yourself to keep you on the back foot. They’ll keep challenging and criticizing your explanations just to get you to give more of them. Understand that they do this on purpose.

You must see this tactic for what it is and what it’s meant to do. It’s all designed to keep you drowning in an endless sea of explanations and justifications.

Therefore, the important thing to bear in mind is that they really don’t need an explanation from you. In fact, they don’t even want one.

What your bullies really want is to throw you off-balance. In other words, they want to bamboozle you and keep you engaging with them.

8. How to Stop Over-Explaining:

Understand that They can use your explaining To gather ammunition they can fire back at you later

‘You see? The longer your bullies can keep you interacting with them, the more they can reshape the things you say. They can then use them as proverbial bullets to fire at you later.

And they may use it tomorrow, or even years later.

You must realize that your bullies will retain very clear memories of what you say. And they’ll store it all up in the back of their minds, just in case it becomes useful ammo in their arsenal.

For example, you set a boundary by refusing to speak to your bullies and they ask you, “Why won’t you talk to us?”

You respond by pointing out all the abuse they’ve dealt you. Then, your bullies come back with, “And when did we do that?” Therefore, they entice you to explain when that was.

9. Know that They Only get you to explain yourself just To trip you up.

When bullies dupe you into explaining yourself, you’re likely to be emotional. Moreover, any time you become emotional, your logical brain shuts down and you aren’t able to think straight.

Therefore, you probably won’t be able to keep your story straight. And this will be no matter how truthful it is. But, understand that this is what your bullies are hoping for.

How to Stop Over-Explaining:

So, what are the best ways to respond?

And how do you respond with strength? There are several ways.

For instance, if your bullies ask you, “What did we ever do to you?” you don’t have to offer any explanations. All you have to do is tell them shortly and firmly, “You know what you did.” Then, keep it moving.

Moreover, you want to walk away before the bullies have time to fire off another curve-ball. Therefore, say what you have to say, in as few words as possible, then turn your back and start walking.

Understand that you owe them nothing, and I mean nothing, more than that! This bears repeating. You don’t have to explain any damn thing to anyone.

Here’s another example. You confront your bullies over something bad they did to you. Then, they ask you, “Really? When did we do so-and-so to you?”

All you have to say is, “You know when it happened,” or “You know when you did it.” Then, simply walk away without looking back.

Again, the trick is to make your response as curt and short as possible. Use as few words as you possibly can. And take a rude tone of voice when you say it.

Sometimes, you have to embarrass your bullies to make them back off.

For instance, when they ask you to explain why you got smart with them, you can ask them, “What are you, five!”

This is a great comeback! Not only are you not allowing those creeps to manipulate you, you’re also adding a touch of shame and humiliation to it.

Moreover, if you’re in public, all the better! With this response, you’re not only calling the bullies out, you’re making them look like punks!

You can also ask them, “Do I have to spell it out for you?”

This comeback is good because, again, it shames the bullies and makes them look like complete idiots. Moreover, it takes their curve-ball question and turns it into a foolish one.

Therefore, you win!

Therefore, you must realize that when bullies pretend not to understand, this is a golden opportunity for you. It’s the perfect opening for you to turn it around on them and hit them in the gut with it.

However, most victims miss this opportunity because of fear and high emotions. But, don’t worry and don’t beat yourself up over it. It isn’t your fault. This happens to the best of us.

Moreover there isn’t a lot of information out there on how to respond to these types of tricks.

How to Stop Over-Explaining:

Sometimes, It’s best not to respond at all.

Some things just don’t need an explanation.

Therefore, if your bullies try to get you to explain yourself, you can just keep walking and pay them no mind. However, be advised. This doesn’t always work.

But, you’ll come out ahead because you understood that over-explaining isn’t necessary. And you didn’t fall into the explaining trap.

In closing:

So, what will happen when you figure out what your bullies are doing?

Once you figure out where all this bullshit comes from, your bullies’ mind-games will no longer affect you. You’ll get bored with all their shenanigans.

Then, you’ll only blow them off with a “whatever,” and keep it moving.

Therefore, you’ll feel much better. And the icing on the cake is that you’ll take the wind out of the bullies’ sails. Moreover, you won’t be any fun to them anymore.

Then, your bullies will finally leave you alone and find some one else to toy around with.

 Therefore, stop thinking you have to explain yourself to those who aren’t worth your time. And stop caring what other people think.

Realize that you deserve so much better. Command the respect you deserve. And if that means you walk away and sever ties with toxic people, then, so be it.

You’re better off without them. So, do whatever you must do to take back your power and your peace of mind.

This post was all about how to stop over-explaining so that you can make yourself less a victim and take back your personal power and your peace of mind.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond

2. You Don’t Have to Explain Yourself: 5 Reasons You Shouldn’t

3. When You Stop Caring: 9 Positive Results You’ll See

4.  How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

walking away from fake friends at work

Walking Away from Fake Friends

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‘Want to know why walking away from fake friends is the best thing you can do for yourself? Here are all the details you need to know about.

walking away from fake friends

Having pure enemies is better than having fake friends. Why? Because with an enemy, you know where you stand with them.

However, fake friends are worse than enemies because they get close enough to you to get you.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why walking away from fake friends is smart so that you won’t feel guilty about it.

Once you learn all about these important reasons, you will be able to walk away with confidence instead of guilt.

This post is all about walking away from fake friends so that you won’t beat yourself up when it’s time to say adios to imposters.

Walking Away from Fake Friends

Ditching those you thought were your friends can be a difficult thing to do. Why? Because there are feelings of guilt involved. Moreover, you might be afraid of being alone and friendless.

However, if you have friends who are stabbing you in the back and trying to sabotage you in life, it’s the wisest thing you can do.

“Settling for fake friends because you’re lonely is like drinking dirty water because you’re thirsty.”

– Cherie White –

Don’t drink dirty water because you’re thirsty.

You might look at the title of this post and think, “Well, duh!” So, let me put it another way.

Just because you’re thirsty doesn’t mean you have to drink dirty water. Even if it seems that dirty water is all that’s available.

In other words, don’t let loneliness cause you to go back to toxic people just because good people are hard to find.

When you finally get enough of being used and abused by fake friends and decide to walk away, you may be alone for a while. In fact, life may put you to the test to see if you’re really and truly done with those creeps.

Even worse, life may decide to drag it out over a few weeks or months just to test your strength. This happens to many victims of bullying. They may ditch the fakes who only pretended to be their friends.

Afterwards, they may be friendless. And they may wait a little while. However, eventually they cave in and go back to the same assholes who treated them so badly.

You may do the same thing.

You may allow your frenemies to sweet-talk you back into the friendship. However, what happens once you go back?

Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Patience is a Must!

It’s true that these fakes may be extra friendly. They treat you well for a few days, weeks, or maybe even a month. However, they will eventually go back to treating you like crap again.

Why? Because they see the second chance you gave them as weakness. To them, it’s evidence that you were only bluffing when you broke off the friendship.

You only look desperate, or, as the kids say today, “thirsty.” And ewww! That’s not a good look at all! Cringe is what it is!

Therefore, these fakers only lose respect for you and no longer take you seriously. Even worse, if you get tired of the abuse again and walk away a second time, they’ll only look at each other and say, “She’ll be back. She just needs time to cool off.”

There’s a reason for the old saying, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” I’m all for giving second chances, don’t get me wrong. Why?

Because people screw up from time to time. However, you should use judgement when doing so. Who is it that you’re giving the chance to?

And have they blown any chances you’ve given in the past? This is very important!

Don’t Give Chances to Those Who Only Abuse Them

Again, second chances are fine. Just make sure you don’t end up giving them a third chance, fourth chance, and so on. Moreover, realize that there are instances when even a second chance isn’t deserved.

Why? Because there are some things you just can’t come back from. So, if you decide to give another chance, make this your rule of thumb.

Walking Away from Fake Friends:

The Second Chance is the last chance!

The second chance is always the last chance. If they blow that chance, that’s it and it’s on them.

When it comes to situations such as this, you must stick to your guns. Otherwise, your fake friends, your bullies, and others who are around to see it will only use you as a cat toy.

Therefore, when you get rid of imposters, do it and mean it! Do it with the presumption that you may have to wait a spell before better friends find you.

Then stick it out! Wouldn’t you rather be by yourself rather than with people who only use and abuse you?

If you’re going to be alone anyway, it might as well be for a damn good reason. Because nothing feels worse than being alone in a group!

So, the next time you get fed up with shabby treatment and decide to walk, don’t let loneliness cause you to go back to toxic assholes.

Be patient and wait it out! I promise you that better people will come along eventually. Dry spells don’t last forever.

If you hold true to yourself and stick it out, you will have better friends. And they will be people who are worth your time and consideration- people who deserve to have you in their lives.

Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Choose Quality over quantity

I have only a small circle of friends and associates and I like it that way. I’d much rather only five true friends than to have a million fake ones.

And the truth is that you can have millions of frenemies and fair-weather friends who don’t value you as much as you deserve to be valued and still be lonely. You are no better off than you’d be if you had no friends at all.

But you can have only one friend, two friends, three or five, true friends who genuinely love you, enjoy being around you, and have your back and never feel abandoned.

Quantity is always zero without quality.

You can own a hundred houses, but it does not mean you’re rich. If your hundred houses are all infested with termites, rats, and cockroaches; and about to fall apart, do you really have anything of value?

A hundred cars don’t make a dealership if they’re all old beaters that don’t run. No. What you have is a junkyard.

The same goes with the friends you keep around. You can have thousands of friends but if they all treat you like crap, never have your back, and bail out at the first sign of trouble, they aren’t worth a damn, and you should ditch and switch.

Pick friends who know your worth and who earn the privilege of being in your life.

Signs of Fake Friends

You must add value to yourself and that means that your time and your friendship must come at a cost. And that cost is reciprocation.

If a so-called friend constantly gives you shabby treatment, you must immediately withdraw your friendship. Tell that person to take a walk and to not even look back. That’s how you add value to yourself.

You must teach others how they should treat you.

I realize that it won’t be easy to walk away, especially if you endure bullying and your toxic, fake friends seem to be the only options you have.

Nobody wants to be lonely and friendless. However, wouldn’t you rather be by yourself than to be friends with a bunch of sorry pieces of shit who only let you down? I know I would!

Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Know your worth.

You must know your worth. Know that you deserve more than the crumbs you’ve been getting. Moreover, know that you can have true friends if you ditch these creeps.

Think of it like this: You’re getting rid of them to make room for the better friends you’re about to meet. I’m not saying that you won’t be friendless for a while because you just might be.

And, if you must wait, here are a few things you can do to lift your spirits while you wait:

  • Dive into your hobbies.
  • Spend time with family and friends.
  • Do the things you enjoy doing.
  • Exercise.
  • Treat yourself to a pampering session- get a spa treatment, go on a trip to the beach, etc.

There are so many things you can do that will put a smile on your face. Only you know what they are. Self-care is so important during times like these.

But I promise you. You will meet better people and you will make better friends. And once you do, they will be worth the wait! Don’t you think you’re worth it? I do.

And always remember. Quality over quantity!

Signs of Fake Friends and what you should do

Nefarious people are experts at hiding their evil. And they do it under the cover of concern and love. Bullies and fake friends are such people.  However, it can be difficult to spotlight them.

After they’ve harmed you, you’re often left shocked and bewildered.

Fortunately, there are signs you can look for if you know what they are. Here’s what you can do to spot frenemies, fakes, and undercover bullies.

1. Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Always observe the people around you.

But do it without looking like you’re watching, of course. Use your peripheral vision to scan them and your environment.

Once you do this, you’ll quickly pick up on their moods and sense the elephant in the room (if there is one).

2. Look for body language that isn’t congruent with words and context.

Actions speak louder than words. If their body language isn’t congruent with words, background, or the situation and shows even a hint of hostility and discomfort when they’re around you, then “Houston, we have a problem.”

3. Watch for micro flashes.

If you’re not careful, you’re likely to miss those tiny, split-second micro flashes of contempt people give without realizing it or when they think you aren’t aware of it. There are good actors; don’t get me wrong.

However, there are certain things the body gives away involuntarily. And, if you look for it, you’ll see it.

When you’re around fake friends, sometimes, as you turn your back, you’ll see a tiny micro flash of contempt on their faces out of the corner of your eye. Then, you’ll get that nagging feeling in the pit of your gut.

Don’t ignore that because you aren’t only imagining things! Eighty-six these creeps fast!

4. Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Notice the person’s feet

You can tell a lot by the feet! If the person is talking to you, facing you, but their feet are pointing away from you, that means they aren’t as “with you” as you think.

Put some distance between you and that person.

5. Watch for crossed arms while talking to the person.

If you’re having a conversation with the person and they cross their arms over their chest, that’s a dead giveaway! They’re exhibiting closed body language. And, they’re closing themselves off to anything you have to say.

Therefore, it’s time to make an excuse to end the tete-a-tete and walk away. You don’t want this person around you.

6. Looking at you without blinking.

If they do this, it’s a sure sign of contempt, or they’re trying to intimidate you. Either way, this person is not the person you want to be around.

7. Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Here are other signs you should look for.

If you notice a furrowed brow or one corner of the lip slightly raised, it’s time to ditch this person. Also, if you see an icy, piercing stare, or they’re smiling at you with their mouth but not the eyes (no crinkles around the eyes), it’s a bad sign.

Therefore, you might want to distance yourself.

8. What if they look at you, then look at each other when you walk away?

It’s a red flag. Therefore, you want nothing more to do with these people.

9. Watch what you share

Very important! Don’t tell anyone anything they don’t need to know. Not even to those who seem friendly.

In other words, don’t reveal information that’s better off private. And, don’t badmouth anybody, especially the bullies, to anyone.

Fakers may smile in your face, but you can be sure they’ll report back to the bullies with anything you say and try to fan the flames.

10. Watch for eavesdroppers.

If you have an innocent conversation with someone in the hall, be on the lookout for eavesdroppers. Don’t talk near corners or open doors.

Why? Because, many times, people will listen in on your discussion, then report back to the bullies with it. Pay attention to people who walk by.

And if you see other people standing around while you’re speaking and those people aren’t a part of the conversation, take the discussion to a place more private. And, be sure you aren’t being followed.

In order to protect yourself, you must keep your eyes and ears peeled and be an avid people-watcher. Only when you pay attention to other people, will you be able to see behind the masks bullies and fake friends wear.

Here are other ways you can spot fake friends.

This post is all about walking away from fake friends so that you can know when to do it and do it with confidence and without feeling guilty.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Fake Friend: 11 Easy Ways to Spot One with Bad Intentions

2. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You

3. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

4. 10 Signs of a Toxic Friendship (And How to Cut Ties)

when bullying gets out of control at school

When Bullying Gets Out of Control: 5 Signs You’re in Danger

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‘What happens when bullying gets out of control? Here are all the signs that you’re in danger.

when bullying gets out of control

When bullying reaches new levels, it can feel as if the abuse has taken on a life of it’s own. This is when things become dangerous really fast.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what to look for when bullying gets out of control.

Once you learn all about these signs and symptoms, you will be compelled to make the appropriate decisions to get out of the situation.

This post is all about what happens when bullying gets out of control so that you can take the necessary steps to ensure your safety.

When Bullying Gets Out of Control

When bullies select a victim to abuse, their bullying tends to escalate quickly. Moreover, it can last for years. In fact, others may join in. After so long, people grow comfortable with abusing you. Therefore, bullying becomes a natural occurrence.

When this happens, bullying can become unstoppable no matter what you do to defend yourself. Moreover, things can become dangerous, even life-threatening if you aren’t aware of the signs.

Here are all the signs that the bullying you suffer has reached dangerous levels.

1. Your Bullies Become Brazen

You’ll notice that your bullies getting cocky. They’ll do their bullying out in the open, for everyone to see.

In fact, they’ll no longer try to hide it. Why? Because they fear no consequences.

Those in positions of power won’t stop the bullying. They have no intentions of protecting you. Therefore, there’s little chance they’ll hold the bullies responsible for their behavior.

Make no mistake! When your bullies bully you in plain sight, in front of peers and authority, it’s a bad sign.

It means that you’re in grave danger. Why? Because, when the abuse reaches this level, there’s no limit to the brutality your bullies will inflict.

When bullying gets out of control, there’s no incentive to stop. Then Bullies quickly become full of themselves.

It’s the same with criminals. When there’s no accountability for wrongdoing, it only emboldens them to do more of it.

And their arrogance only sends these unspoken messages:

  • “We can do whatever we want and there’s nothing you can do.”
  • “Who’s going to stop us?”
  • “Who’s going to help you. You’re ours now.”

Most bullies would stop if they thought someone would hold them accountable. Or, they’d at least try to hide their behavior.

No one wants to have to answer for anything. Moreover, they don’t want the shame and humiliation that comes with it.

Therefore, they either wouldn’t do the bad deeds at all, or they would do their dirt behind closed doors.

Lack of accountability only emboldens bad people.

On the other hand, once a bully has gotten away with it a few times, they catch on that there are no consequences. They get the message that what they’re doing is okay.

Therefore, they have no shame in continuing the behavior.

And once there’s complete impunity, it’s no holds barred. In other words, your bullies are unrestrained in what they could do to you.

So, if you’re a target of bullying, you’re shit out of luck.

it sets a precedent.

It sets a bad standard for people who wouldn’t normally mistreat another person. In that, it encourages them to jump on the bandwagon and bully you too.

Why? Because bystanders notice the bullies getting away with abusing you. Therefore, they’ll think it’s okay to bully you. In fact, they’ll think that it’s the in-thing to do. So, they’ll be more than happy to join in on the torment.

It’s the science of group behavior.

2. When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

Others become Outraged when you stand up for yourself.

When you defend yourself against a bully’s attacks or demands, bullies will often retaliate. Anytime you stand up to bullies, they will often try to get back at you for it. Even bystanders will be pissed at you.

In fact, they either won’t help you or they join in.

Why do bullies become angry when you defend yourself? Because you put them in a weaker position and threaten their power.

Understand that bullies are entitled little twits. They need gratification and satisfaction, and when you refuse to give it to them, they will resent you and desire to punish you for it.

Moreover, it will offend others as well.

Why? Because, once bullying you has become the norm, it’s gone on for a long time. People have grown comfortable with seeing bullies abuse you.

And once people get comfortable with something, they resist anyone that tries to change it.

3. People Believe anything bad about you, no matter how ridiculous the lie may sound.

If you suffer bullying, you’ve probably had bullies tell the most outrageous and ridiculous lies about you. Moreover, the lies may be laughable at best.

And shockingly, everyone in the place will probably believe it! It will seem as if everyone around you is smoking crack.

Why? Because you’ll wonder how they can believe such tripe!

People will believe the big, outlandish lies before they accept the little white lies. For example, others might hear something huge and horrible about a certain person from someone they trust.

Maybe it comes from someone who has a little bit of power. They may feel shock and disbelief at first. However, they’ll eventually believe it.

But, why do they believe it? It’s because the penalty for severe wrongdoing is so big that people don’t want to think that anyone would tell such a big fat lie about someone if there isn’t some truth to it.

When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

IF someone is audacious enough to tell such a bold lie, we’re more likely to believe it.

We cling to the belief that if a person is audacious enough to make such an accusation about another person, then somewhere, there must be evidence to back it up.

Otherwise, they wouldn’t dare make such bold accusations and risk someone proving them wrong!

So, we hold on to the idea that where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Moreover, we allow caution and speculation to supersede any logic. And if we expect trouble to come from a specific place, that’s where we’re going to look.

And when we look for a specific thing, we usually find it.

Also, if a lie goes against the target’s character, we’re more likely to believe it. Why? Because any story of hypocrisy has a certain amount of shock value and entertainment to it. That is, as long as the story is about someone else and not us.

We’re more prone to believe a big fat lie because it frightens the crap out of us. Therefore, when people hear a lie so big and outrageous about you, it makes them wonder if they ever really knew you at all.

And the idea that someone they know could do such a horrible thing scares people to death.

4. You will be emotional and people will weaponize it.

Understand that anytime you suffer bullying, you’re at your absolute worst! Anyone would be a total emotional wreck under that kind of pressure.

Anytime a person is bullied by everyone, it doesn’t matter how strong they are. Moreover, it doesn’t matter how brave, how beautiful, nor how awesome their personalities are.

The bullying will eventually exhaust them and take them down.

In other words, if enough people bully you for long enough, you’ll only be able to withstand it for so long. Why? Because you’re only human. And no human being can hold up under that kind of stress for long.

Bullies instinctively know this. Therefore, if they’re determined to break you, they’ll increase the abuse until they get the outcome they want.

You will be overwhelmed with so many emotions. In fact, you’ll have paranoia. And, with good reason!

Therefore, they’ll twist it and make you look unstable.

And, why not? They’ve seen you morph from a cheerful person to a stressed out, hot mess of a train wreck who’s barely able to function.

5. When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

No One Will Help you.

If you’re a kid that other kids bully in school, you know that schools are supposed to protect children. Moreover, some schools do help targets of bullying.

I’ve read quite a few stories with this happy ending. And to those schools, I extend my love and respect.

However, I’ve also read and heard stories in which the school either failed or refused to help the victim. They only sided with the bullies.

I also found this out years ago from experience. Sadly, this ending is much more common than the first.

Therefore, if you are an object of bullying at your school, do take the proper channels to address the problem. Report the bullying to the teacher, principal, or district.

However, if the school does nothing about it, sweeps it under the rug, or worse, blames you, don’t let it surprise you. And don’t let it shock you if you face retaliation not only from the bullies but from school staff as well.

In most cases, schools side with bullies.

Understand that in these cases where the school doesn’t act on your behalf, it is because the school district has their own interests in mind.

Many schools only care about their sports programs. They care about how many points an athlete can score for their team and getting their teams into the playoffs.

Also, they care about how many kids they can send to colleges.

Another thing to consider is that school bullies likely have connections with several local politicians and other high-ranking officials. Also, many bullies excel academically.

Or, they may be are star athletes. Therefore, they make the school look good.

And if a student makes a school look good, why would they hold them accountable for bullying some throw-away kid?

Seasoned bullies also tend to be exceptionally socially intelligent. In other words, they know how to ingratiate themselves into the good graces of teachers and school staff.

Moreover, they’re also wordsmiths who talk a good game. They’re experts at feigning victimhood when you report them. They’re also good at explaining everything away, and rationalizing their bad behavior.

What they’re best at is making you look like the bully. Therefore, you must thing of these things when the school fails to respond to your pleas for help.

This is why you must do your own investigations and gather your own evidence. You must document each bullying incident to the letter and record it if the laws in your area allow.

But don’t give up. Remember. You are worth fighting for!

This post is all about what happens when bullying gets out of control and how to recognize it so that you can can the appropriate steps needed to ensure your safety.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Stop Victim Blaming: 8 Reasons People Blame Targets for Bullying

2. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

3. Bystanders to Bullying: 5 Reasons They Join In.

4. Deliberate Indifference: 7 Reasons Bystanders Won’t Help Victims

how to regain your power over your life

How to Regain Your Power: 9 Ways to Empower Yourself

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‘Want to know how to regain your power? Here are 9 ways to empower yourself that you need to know about.

how to regain your power

Everyone wants to have power. In fact, it’s human nature to seek power. Because to be completely powerless is the perfect description of hell.

However, bullies can strip you of your personal power. And if you no longer have your personal power, you are powerless.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to regain your personal power so that you can take back control of your life.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be a powerful force in your own life. You will get back your freedom and your autonomy. Then you will be able to live your life as you see fit.

This post is all about how to regain your power so that you can overcome bullying and live your life on your terms.

How to Regain Your Power

Everyone wants power, if only a little of it. And sadly, bullies have ways of taking away your power.

Consequently, when a person is totally powerless, they live their life on autopilot. Figuratively, they’re only a leaf being blown around in the wind. They’re a sailboat without a sail- being blown on whatever course life dictates for them.

And it’s a terrible way to live. Without power, you don’t live. You only exist!

Really stop and think about it for a moment. To have power over nothing! Can you imagine it? It’s hard to, isn’t it? It’s the worst thing that could happen to you!

Real Power

Most people do not have to hurt others to achieve power. They feel powerful through their accomplishments. In other words, they get their power from being able to control their own lives, not someone else’s.

People who aren’t bullies get their sense of power through having success in their jobs. Moreover, they feel powerful from having successful home lives. They may have a loving family and a happy home.

Therefore, they take great pride in their families.

Their power may also come from their talents, their finances, and their physical health. This is why people start their own businesses or do strenuous workouts every day. It’s also why they aren’t afraid to display their talents and gifts.

For instance, a husband and father gets his sense of power from his ability to provide for and take care of his wife and children. A writer gets her sense of power through her writing and the ability to achieve readership.

A comedian gets his sense of power from doing stand-up comedy and his ability to make people laugh. And a singer gets her sense of power from her ability to entertain people with her beautiful voice.

An athlete gets his sense of power through competing in and winning at a sport. Also, students get their sense of power through making exceptional grades and through their diplomas and degrees.

But what do all these people have in common? It’s that they can all achieve their power without stepping on others.

Therefore, understand that getting power doesn’t always require hurting others. And there are no winners and losers. There’s equality, cooperation, and mutual respect. This kind of power is known as personal power.

And personal power is real power!

How to Regain Your Power:

Personal Power

In her book, “The Abusive Relationship,” Patricia Evans puts power in two categories- personal power and power over.

Personal power is power over your life’s trajectory. It’s the power to direct your own path- to choose your own wants.

It’s having the autonomy to make choices and decisions for yourself, and to do your own thing. There’s no need to harm another person because you already direct your own life-movie.

Having personal power puts you in the driver’s seat of your life. Therefore, you are the one who chooses your destination and which route you want to take to get there.

You are the captain of your own ship. The winds may change and blow you off course. However, with personal power, you have a rudder to steer your ship back on course.

You may have to take detours and you may have to take the long way to your destination. But you know where you’re going, and you eventually get there.

There are two types of power.

Power Over

Sadly, bullies cannot achieve personal power. Why? Because most bullies are incompetent fools who have no real intelligence. They only know how to act intelligent and fool others.

Moreover, they also have no sense of responsibility. They have no talent and no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

The only way bullies can achieve power is to inflict harm on others. The only way they can achieve satisfaction in their jobs, families, or finances is by steamrolling people.

Bullies are so inept they can’t even survive in this world without hurting others. This kind of power is called power over.

Power over is lording it over another person through force, coercion, and trickery. It violates boundaries.

Power over shows no respect or regard. Moreover, it seeks to oppress and block you from all the good things in life- love, peace, success, happiness- freedom.

In power over there is a winner (the bully) and a loser (the victim). It is a zero-sum game. Always!Power over is against personal power and it only takes it away.

If you’re a victim of bullying, it’s important that you begin taking steps to take back your personal power. Only then will you be free. And you’ll finally begin living instead of existing.

How to Regain Your Power:

Bullies use Power Over.

What do we mean when we mention, “personal power?” Simple. We mean the ability to influence the events that happen in our lives.

When bullies target you for bullying, they find ways of stripping you of your personal power. Most do this bit by tiny bit.

In other words, they gradually escalate the attacks until they leave you utterly powerless. However, there are simple methods you can use to reclaim your personal power and feel more in control of your circumstances.

9 Ways to Empower Yourself

1. Have a strong set of beliefs and principles.

When you have a strong set of beliefs and principles, you’re least likely to fall for any lies and name-calling your bullies bombard you with. Therefore, you’re least likely to allow them to influence how you see yourself.

Moreover, you won’t make decisions and choices based on their approval. Instead, you will do what you know is best for you and what makes you feel most alive.

3. Be okay with who you are.

Realize that you are perfect just the way God made you. However, know that it’s okay if you want to improve yourself. There’s nothing wrong with becoming a better version of yourself because there’s always room for improvement.

And this goes for everyone. The problem comes when you allow others’ opinions of you to change the way you view yourself.

Never put yourself down because bullies and others are putting you down. No matter what they say or how they act toward you, don’t lose sight of your worth.

Continue to value yourself and refrain from thinking that you should be like someone else. You are you. Be okay with it. Practice self-acceptance and self-love while you improve.

3. How to Regain Your Power:

Follow your goals and dreams.

What is your passion? What are the things you love to do the most? Whatever they are, follow them and do the things you absolutely love to do.

Do what makes you feel alive! Not only will you feel more in control of your life, but you won’t have time to worry about what anyone thinks of you.

Additionally, you’ll be so busy working on your goals and pursuing your dreams that they won’t even be an afterthought. And you’ll be much happier!

But be prepared for others to resist your positive change.

Get ready for bullies to notice the positive change in you and put up some resistance to it. How will they do this?  They’ll intensify their attacks.

They’ll ridicule the positive changes you make. Also, they’ll bring up your past.

However, realize that they will do these things because the new you will threaten their power. Moreover, the new happier and more confident you will be something that your bullies won’t be used to seeing.

And it will throw them off balance. But don’t allow the fear of it to stop you. Keep working on you and doing what you love. I guarantee that it will pay off later.

Understand that your bullies have grown comfortable in seeing you depressed, miserable, and beaten down. Moreover, when you begin this positive change, you take your bullies out of their comfort zones.

And most people love their comfort zones and will fight like the devil to stay in them.

4. How to Regain Your Power:

Replace negative self-talk with that which is positive.

In other words, stop beating yourself up. Realize that your bullies and abusers have conned you into believing that you aren’t good enough. But you are good enough and that you’re just as worthy as the next Joe Schmo.

Instead of saying to yourself, “I’ll never be good enough,” say, “I AM good enough now and I’m only going to get better.”

5. Walk away from toxic people.

Toxic people only want to bring you down and keep you there. These people are bullies and abusers. However, they can also be fakes who pose as your friends.

Therefore, know that anyone who even subtly insults you doesn’t deserve one micro-second of your time. You’d much rather be alone than with fake friends who throw zingers and backhanded compliments at you.

You’ll be much happier without them. So,be patient and better friends will come along. I promise you!

6. Get healthy.

When you’re healthy, you’re happy. Get outside and get some sunlight.  Don’t forget to exercise. I promise you that you’ll feel so much better! Also, you’ll have more of your power.

Taking these steps may feel strange at first. Trying new things always does. However, with time, it will become like second nature and you will feel so much better about yourself.

You’ll feel stronger, more confident and freer! Now that is power!

Moreover, you’ll be surprised at how quickly your life will improve!

7. How to Regain Your Power:

Expose the bullies by reporting them to a manager or a school staff member.

Understand that bullies and their followers may call you a snitch. However, when it comes to your personal safety, you’re not being a snitch.

You’re only trying to protect yourself by getting the teacher or supervisor involved. This may or may not work. However, it’s always wise to report the bully if you cannot take care of it on your own.

Maybe you’re a small 5′ 4″, 110 pound female being bullied at work by a 6′ 4″, 225 pound gargantuan male. In cases like these, report it to a supervisor or manager and even police, if need be.

8. Turn your pain into power.

What do I mean by this?

You can take any abuse you suffer and use it for the benefit of others. That’s a success! And it’s the best poke in the eye and slap in the face to your bullies and abusers.

I say this because I get plenty of push-back from a few of my old pals from way back when. Think about this. If you speak your truth and your former abusers lash back, it’s because they know they’re guilty.

If they weren’t guilty, they wouldn’t care so much. Also, If your voice wasn’t so powerful and you weren’t telling the truth, your bullies wouldn’t push back so hard.

The reason why you’ve probably gotten a few nasty or threatening messages is that your former abusers know you’re telling the truth. And they’re scared to death that you’ll expose them.

How to Regain Your Power:

Also, here’s another interesting point you probably haven’t thought of.

Your bullies are probably angry that they failed to accomplish their objective. And that objective was to destroy your life.

In other words, they expected you to drown. They just knew you’d crash and burn, and you didn’t!

Therefore, that’s a huge disappointment to them. It’s a blow to their overinflated egos! And now, they’re coming back to try and finish the job.

Therefore, you should welcome their resentment. Why? Because it only shows that they’re desperate.

This should only inspire you to double down on spreading awareness of bullying. And it should encourage you to keep reaching out to other victims with your message.

Moreover, it should compel you to speak to them about why people bully. And you want to call out the tactics and mindsets of bullies and expose them.

And lastly, your bullies’ behavior should make you want to warn victims of the effects of bullying. You must show other victims what to look for. In short, they only light a fire under you.

Another way you can turn your pain into power is to stop calling yourself a victim and refer to yourself as a target instead.

9. Be successful!

Success is the best revenge against bullies. Therefore, work on your goals and pursue your dreams. Go after the life you want!

Then watch your bullies lose their minds as you achieve success after success!

This post was all about how to regain your power so that you can overcome bullying and take control of your life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Power: 2 Categories of Power

2. Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters

3. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense