Tag: advice for victims of bullying

advice for victims of bullying

how to outsmart bullies at work

How to Outsmart Bullies: 4 Unconventional Ways to Do So

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‘Want to know how to outsmart bullies in ways they’ll never expect? Here are the sneakiest ways you can do it!

how to outsmart bullies

There are ways to outsmart bullies that most people don’t think about.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to outsmart bullies in the sneakiest ways so that you can lure them out in the open and finally expose them for the creeps they are.

Once you learn all these clever tricks, you will be better able to trick your bullies into outing themselves. Moreover, you will not only have the possibility of exonerating yourself and repairing your unfairly ruined reputation, you’ll also be able to defend yourself more effectively.

This post is all about how to outsmart bullies so that you can take back your personal power and your life.

How to Outsmart Bullies

When you trick your bullies, the last thing you won’t to do is to make it obvious. Therefore, here are the sneakiest ways to out your bullies so that you can keep yourself safe while you use your bag of tricks.

1. Draw Your Enemies Out in the Open

We think we know all the people in our lives, especially those closest to us. However, many are not who they make us think they are.

In life, there will be fakers and imposters. There will be those who infiltrate your inner circle and pretend to be your friends.

These people will seem to latch onto you like a tick to a dog. Then, they’ll figure out everything about you. They’ll suss out your soft spots and most intimate details of your life. T

Moreover, they’ll discover what your goals, dreams and plans are. Then these creeps will work behind the scenes to sabotage and crush you.

But what if I told you that there is a clever way to flush out all the rats? Before we go any further, be forewarned. This won’t be easy.

In fact, it just might be the hardest thing to do. Why? Because it requires unshakeable confidence and self-belief. Here’s what I’m talking about.

How to Outsmart Bullies:

Draw your bullies out by appearing weak.

Sometimes, you must play the loser and appear weak to make the people around you feel safe. Only then can you draw them out and trick them into removing their fake husks. This is what you do anytime you have any shred of doubt about a person or persons.

You must realize that when people feel untouchable, they become brazen. And this is when you see their true nature. Therefore, to make them feel untouchable, you must give them the impression that they’ve already won.

I won’t kid you. This will be hard to do because it will feel like a huge blow to your pride. No one wants to look weak. It feels better to appear strong even if you’re not.

It’s a blow to the ego when you’re defeated. Moreover, it’s the same even when we aren’t defeated but appear that way to the rest of the world.

You’ll be ridiculed, your bullies will gloat, and it won’t feel good at all. In fact, it’ll feel terrible, even humiliating at times.

You can also pull this trick on friends you suspect are fake.

However, this is something most people wouldn’t dream of doing. Why? Because, as I just mentioned, it’s downright terrifying.

Very few want to know of any possibility that a long-trusted friend could turn out to be a snake. I get that. It feels so much better (and safer) to live in denial and act as if everything is peachy king.

But trust me, it is only when you’re at your lowest that you find out who’s really in your corner. And those who aren’t, never were.

So, again, if you can make everyone think that you’ve been knocked on your ass, you’ll be surprised at the snakes who shed their skins. Many will reveal themselves, and some will more than likely be people you’d never expect.

Very few people realize who their enemies are until thing get hairy.

How to Outsmart bullies:

When you’re at your lowest, the snakes will shed their skins.

Any time you appear to be at your weakest and lowest, not only will your secret enemies reveal themselves, they’ll also be more emboldened to act against you.

And when they do, they’ll do it openly! And the reason these people will be so open with their dirt is because they’ll mistake you for being too powerless to fight back.

But realize that this is the only way for you to clear the human clutter from your life. And you do it by unmasking it first. After all, you must know who to get rid of beforehand.

If you do this right, you can ensure your safety and peace of mind in the future. Moreover, you can remove any obstacles to your progress. More importantly, you can make yourself available only to the people who are your tried and true friends.

So, in closing, any time you have doubts about a friend or two, do something to make yourself appear weak or down and out. Then see what they do.

2. Fake a Surrender.

If your bullies are extremely powerful, it’s best to fake a surrender if you want them to leave you alone. This may not feel good. However, sometimes, real power comes with swallowing your pride and giving in to them first.

Why? Because if you fight back, you might be fighting an unwinnable war. Showing weakness can be a strength if you know how to do it correctly.

You can get what you can out of the surrender, then fight later when your bullies are not so strong. Believe it or not, bullies do eventually lose power.

You don’t surrender because you give up. You do it to humor them by fooling them into thinking they’ve won.

Understand that bullies love to show dominance and superiority. Therefore, if you make it look like you surrender to them, it’ll be too easy to trick them.

Submitting, for the time being, makes your bullies feel satisfied and powerful. In this, they become easier targets for a later counter-attack.

3. How to Outsmart Bullies:

Use Their Attacks Against them.

You can do this by dragging out the attacks. For example, when they attack you with insults, you simply say, “That’s your opinion,” or “Opinions vary.”

When you do, you will only force the bullies to repeat the attacks over and over again. Therefore, you drag them out until they become boring and redundant.

I won’t kid you; this technique won’t be an easy thing to do. Any time we are attacked, our first instinct is to jab back with attacks of our own. But sometimes that’s not wise to do.

This method can be effective in the workplace.  However, it’s much harder and usually takes longer to have an effect. Why? Because adults are more tenacious and stealthier with their bullying.

Respond, Don’t React!

This strategy works much better in the school environment. So, respond. But never react.

And how you respond is with short comebacks like those above. Then walk away and leave the bullies standing there, running their mouths and looking defeated. Why?

Because, when you don’t give them the response they want (which is for you to attack them back by name-calling, yelling, screaming, or cursing), their natural reactions will be to repeat, repeat, repeat like a broken record.

In other words, you force the bullies to repeat the same attacks over a long time. By doing it this way, you force them to wear them out until they get so old and stale that others outside the bully/target dynamic get thoroughly sick of hearing them.

And once people get tired of hearing it, they’ll no longer pay attention to it.

In deploying this neat little method, you expose the childishness of their attacks. You also expose the weakness of the bullies’ position, which they thought was their strength.

Instead of winning others over to their side, your bullies only alienate them. Why? Because people get bored after hearing the same old shit for so long.

4. How to Outsmart Bullies:

Rattle Your Bullies to Expose Them

Sometimes, to expose your bullies, you must rattle them. If you’re not sure how to do it, think Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam!

Getting a bully rattled is as easy as smiling. Therefore, say nothing to them; only look at them and smile like you know something they don’t. I promise you. It’ll drive them nuts!

They’ll ask you what the hell you’re smiling at. Don’t get defensive. Don’t say anything. Just walk away, snickering.

Your bullies will be madly bewildered. They’ll look at each other, wondering why you seem so smug.

Next, they’ll wonder what it is you’re up to, and curiosity will get the best of them. You’ll throw them off! Trust me. Bullies always think you’re up to something when you act this way.

Also, They’ll go on the hunt to find answers like hounds sniffing a trail.

Here’s another possibility. Your bullies may think you’re making fun of them and get super angry. But, all the better for you.

Here’s why:

  • When someone is really pissed off, they lose the ability to think straight and control their emotions.
  • When you stir someone up, you throw them off balance. When this happens, they usually screw up and do something foolish.

If they challenge you to a fight, don’t fight unless it’s necessary. You want to get the bully in front of a crowd of people. Then get them so mad they start yelling and throwing a hissy fit in front of everyone.

Your goal is to get them to expose themselves in front of bystanders and those in authority! Oops! BUSTED!

Sadly, this is the only way you can expose a bully by allowing others to see with their own eyes. But before you employ this tactic, be sure that the bully isn’t one who carries a deadly weapon and isn’t criminally violent.

Outsmarting bullies is easy if you know the right tactics to use.

This post was all about how to outsmart bullies so that you can expose them without being obvious and take back your personal power.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them: 5 Ways to Counter Bullying

2. 7 Secrets to Instantly Expose Bullies

3. Outsmarting Bullies: 3 Clever Ways that Expose Them

imbalance of power in bullying examples

Imbalance of Power in Bullying: 3 Sources of Power for Bullies

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‘Want to know all about the imbalance of power in bullying? Here are all the sources bullies draw their power from.

imbalance of power in bullying

Too many victims of bullying don’t know what to do to reclaim their power. They’re at a loss as to where to start.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the imbalance of power in bullying. You’ll also learn exactly what it is that unfairly tips the scales of power in your bullies’ favor.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be able to take back your personal favor and tip the scales back in your favor.

This post is all about the imbalance of power in bullying so that you know where it comes from and you can finally take back control of your life.

Imbalance of Power in Bullying

As most of you know, bullying arises from an imbalance of power. In other words, the bullies have way more power than you do. This is why they selected you as their victim.

However, exactly what is it that determines this power imbalance? Here are 5 sources your bullies get their power from.

1. A Bully’s Power is Your Lack of Knowledge.

You’ve heard people say that knowledge is power. And they’re right. Knowledge is power. Having knowledge is the first step in problem-solving.

Your bullies get their power because you simply don’t know the power you have. To know your power, you must also have knowledge of your goodness, your strengths, and your rights as a human being.

Power you don’t know you have is power you don’t have. In other words, if you don’t know your power, you might as well not have it.

Here’s exactly what you need to know.

You must have self-knowledge. This means not only knowing your power, but also your worth! Furthermore, you must also know your potential and the good things you’re capable of.

You must believe in yourself. And you must realize that you deserve love and respect just as much as the next person

You must know all about human predators. This means knowing all about bullying and how bullies operate. Therefore, have knowledge of he  nature, mindset, and tactics of bullies.

In short, you must have self-knowledge and know your enemies. Once you do, their moves and power plays will no longer have any effect on you.

Again, your lack of self-knowledge and that of your bullies is where they draw their power over you. This is why many victims of bullying beg for approval.

However, when you seek approval from others, you only hand over more of your power. There’s a name for this. It’s called, “simping.”

Imbalance of Power in Bullying:

When You Simp, You Only Hand Over Your Power.

Many targets beg for approval, attention, and popularity. And the sad thing is that most don’t realize they’re doing it.

As a result, you’ll only get bullied worse. Also, people lose respect for you. Even bystanders will mistreat you too. And it’ll be because you don’t respect yourself.

Understand that if you don’t respect yourself, no one else will respect you either.

Therefore, you must respect yourself and do it in the early stages of bullying. Because once the bullying has gone on for so long, it will be too late.

And the way to self-respect is to have knowledge of your value and your power. Also, setting boundaries is a way to respect yourself. Know your worth and you will know your power!

And once you do, you will be able to defuse bullying like a champ.

2. Naivete.

Naivete and lack of knowledge are closely related. However, the latter comes more from lack of life experiences.

We all have been naïve at some point in our lives. But over time, we grew and accumulated knowledge. This knowledge came from lessons learned from good and bad life experiences.

This is how wisdom is acquired. Some people become sage quicker and others slower. What counts is that we eventually learn. It doesn’t matter the pace.

However, some people take years to learn. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes, the learning process takes longer due to the environment you’re stuck in.

Maybe you live in a sheltered home. Maybe you have a secure family and home life. Therefore, you believe that all people have goodness in them.

Again, this is not a bad thing. However, it can mark you for bullying and abuse. It can set you up for someone to take advantage of you.

Imbalance of Power in Bullying:

Bullies Can Smell Naivete A Mile Away.

It’s what helps them choose their victims. Any time you’re a target of bullying, you can’t afford to be naïve. Moreover, the sad reality is that most people targeted for bullying are.

And it’s why their bullies selected them in the first place.

When I was young, I was not very smart when it came to people. I believed that all people were inherently good, and I believed it to a fault. I can admit that today.

Therefore, the bullying I suffered years ago wised me up when it came to the duality of human beings.

Most victims hold the same belief. They believe that all people are inherently good. They cannot fathom how anyone could deliberately harm another person without a darn good reason.

In other words, they were raised to believe that things will work out for the best. This is not to say that we shouldn’t think positively.

However, many fail to take into consideration that the world is full of bad people with evil intentions. Also, we live in a competitive world.

And there are people who want to take what we have. There are people who want to hurt us. Failure to realize these harsh truths will only subject targets of bullying to years of abuse.

You must learn to spot bullies before they strike.

Bullies, especially those in power, will always win unless you learn to spot them ahead of time. Moreover, you must learn strategies to counter their attacks.

You can only learn to counter them when you accept the truth that bad people exist in the world.

You must realize that once bullies have their sights set on you, they won’t just disappear. Bullies are very persistent with their goals to harm you and ultimately destroy you.

 This is hard to swallow because we all want to believe that all humans are good. However, the fact is that many of them are monsters. Not everyone believes in treating others as they would like to be treated.

When you’re naïve, you’re vulnerable. Why? Because without people-knowledge, you’ll continue to take abuse. Therefore, you must gain knowledge of the bully mindset. And you must learn the motivations and intentions behind each tactic bullies use.

Only then will you be able to protect yourself and keep them away.

3. Imbalance of Power in Bullying:

Bullies also get their power from Your Predictability.

Being predictable is dangerous. Why? Because if bullies can predict your next move, it’s game over.

Remember that most bullies are socially intelligent. They can spot behavior patterns in their victims.

All they have to do is carefully observe you. They look for any patterns of behavior, habits, and weaknesses. Your bullies closely monitor your reactions to everything. They notice what ticks you off, what makes you happy, and what excites you.

Moreover, they study your body language to suss out your moods and emotional state. And when they watch you, bullies leave no stone unturned.

They even scrutinize the way you do things. For example, the way you arrange objects.

Bullies are like bank robbers who case out a bank before pulling off the heist. The robbers get the bank’s layout and search for any vulnerabilities in the security system. Also, they look for any patterns of patrols and the comings and goings there.

Is it any wonder that being targeted for bullying can feel like being under a microscope? Like you’re being watched? It’s because you are!

It’s always best to be unpredictable.

Being too predictable is unwise, especially if a pack of bullies are on your tail. Instead, make it a point to be unpredictable. In other words, do things as randomly as possible.

I know it won’t be easy because we’re all creatures of habit. However, if you do things people don’t expect, you won’t be so easy to figure out.

Therefore, it’s best to be versatile.

If you’re a target of bullying, you want to make it look you have no clear strategy. You must scramble your behavior patterns and your reactions.

This will confuse the bullies and force them to back off. In fact, it’ll scare the hell out of them!

Again, by doing something unexpected, you gain a huge advantage over your bullies. Therefore, when bullies can’t figure out what you’re going to do, it scares them to death.

As a result, they’ll either leave you alone or react out of fear!

Nothing is more frightening than when you make a move nobody would ever expect. It’s the reason natural disasters are so scary because no one knows when and where they’ll hit next.

Moreover, it’s why deer hunters can track down their prey and kill them. They know the habits and behavior patterns of the deer they hunt.

Understand that habits and patterns are the worst things for you. Bullies pick up on your routines and use them against you.

Imbalance of Power in Bullying:

In closing

you must learn to unsettle your bullies by allowing them to see you do things they’d never expect. If a bully launches an attack, you should counter-attack suddenly.

The attack should come without warning. You should hit them in a way they wouldn’t expect, and when they least expect it.

You must purposefully mislead your bullies to trick them into an emotional reaction!

If you’re going to be predictable, don’t stay that way. Do it for long enough that your bullies get used to your patterns.

 What you want is to lull them into a false sense of security. Then, you can strike suddenly with something unexpected! And that’s how you get them to leave you alone!

This post is all about the imbalance of power in bullying so that you’ll know all the sources your bullies draw their power from. Moreover, with this knowledge, you’ll be able to counter bullying much more effectively.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. False Sense of Power: Real Power versus the Fake Power of Bullying

2. Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some 

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Bullied for Being Smart? Here are 5 Positive Ways to Look at It

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Are you being bullied for being smart? Here are all the reasons you need to know. And these are reasons you should be proud of.

bullied for being smart

Many victims get bullied simply because they’re smart. Many bullies are smart too. However, they like to bully anyone who’s intelligence rivals theirs.

If you fall into this lucky category, you will learn all the reasons you get bullied for being smart.

Once you learn these details, you will feel so much better about yourself. At the same time, you will only pity your bullies.

This post is all about the reasons you’re bullied for being smart so that your self-esteem will get the boost it needs.

Bullied for Being Smart

When you have exceptional intelligence, it can attract bullying. However, don’t feel bad about yourself because you have a gift that few others have.

Both a Blessing and a Curse

You have a sharp BS detector and are able to see through fake people. Moreover, you may have the ability to see and behind their meanness. Realize that you have a special gift.

And you can use it to more easily avoid the pitfalls that bullies, shysters, and con artists set up for you.

However, having this gift can feel more like a curse. Although being awake and alert to lies, deceit, and bad intentions is both freeing and empowering, it can also be an excruciating and alienating journey.

Also, it can be lonely, confusing, and frightening. You often struggle as you try to process the insanity around you.

There is a reality that no one talks about. And that is the suffering that often goes along with having this kind of sight. In fact, you may even grieve for what you thought for so many years was the truth.

When you realize that everything you were taught turned out to be lies, it’s the most difficult pill to swallow.

Furthermore, when the people you once trusted and the principles you had turn out to be false, it can flip your life upside down. Its not easy to ditch the beliefs you once held, and the life you once lived.

Bullied for being Smart:

The Truth Hurts

Having your illusions shattered is never an enjoyable experience. However, with growth comes pain and discomfort and it doesn’t stop there.

With these newfound revelations, you will often find yourself grieving again. You’ll grieve the loss of relationships with people you thought were friends. Also, you’ll be disappointed in them because you thought they were smarter.

You’ll feel alone. Moreover, people will ridicule you. And not only by acquaintances and passers by but sometimes by friends and family! You’ll realize that you never had nearly as much in common with them as you originally thought.

Therefore, again, when you grow wise to bullshit, people will judge and mock you. Why? Because they may not see the things you do. Or, maybe, they do see it but don’t want to believe it.

Instead, they’re either living in denial or they’re too chicken to call it out.

You might even grieve the loss of your own ignorance. Why? Because ignorance is bliss and reality is harsh. Moreover, you might find yourself wishing that you were still just as ignorant as they are. Because, if you were, you’d still fit in with them.

Having the sense to see through all the smoke screens can be a lonely road to travel. There’s no sugarcoating it. Once you wise up to the realities of the world and the people around you, life can be brutal!

Bullied for being Smart:

Most People Can’t Handle the Truth

Furthermore, the ability to dive down into the deepest, darkest rabbit holes and to remain functioning in daily life is a skill that we don’t talk about enough.

I’ve lost many people I thought were friends. However, I still consider myself one of the lucky few. Why? Because most of my family and my small circle of true friends? They get it and they get me.

However, many of you aren’t so lucky. You’re struggling with feeling disconnected from your family and friends and it’s as though they exist in another world.

Just know that you’re not alone. Not only are you not alone, but you also have an entire team standing behind you. We may be separated by miles, but we’re deeply connected in purpose and spirit.

So, hold on to your faith and your dignity. Hold onto your truth and stand on it. Continue to be yourself and to press forward.

Know that we’re here and we’ve got you! Most importantly, know that God’s here and He’s got you!

Having the courage to stand up for your beliefs won’t be easy.

Now, more than ever, we must stand up for our God, our beliefs, and convictions. We must be true to ourselves, our hearts, and to the people who love us. Moreover, we must do it boldly and confidently. We must know ourselves inside and out.

In short, we must have the courage to be different. Why? Because the blessings of critical thinking can be dangerous nowadays.

Sadly, in the last ten years, this country has gotten so divided that people have lost family and those who were once close friends. All because they held onto their beliefs, convictions, and traditions.

I’ve lost a few friends myself. However, I’m not afraid to lose people. It’s only God’s way of removing the people who were imposters all along and never deserved to be in my life in the first place.

Hey! I know it’s hard. However, if some of the people you cared about turned on you these last few years, I want you to know that you did nothing wrong. Your beliefs and convictions are yours and you own them. Again, God is taking out your trash for you.

Therefore, sometimes, what is a blessing can feel like a curse. Some blessings require pain and sacrifice. But it’s always worth it in the end. And, who knows? You might end up with much more than you ever lost.

Bullied for being Smart:

Sometimes these things happen so that you’ll see who people really are.

Although quite painful, I truly believe that this last decade was a test. That’s right. It was a test to see if you’re strong enough to stand in your truth, no matter what it may cost you.

Therefore, never be afraid to be yourself, speak your truth, and risk losing people you think are friends.

Why? Because life can reveal so much to you. And among those revelations are the true faces of those you thought highly of.

Moreover, life can shed new light on the true intentions of a few so-called leaders, whom we thought were loyal to us.

Therefore, if nothing else, remember this. You don’t lose friends, you lose frauds.

Here are 5 positive ways to look at it.

1. Bullies always go after the best of The best

Being the best- having smarts, working hard, striving toward goals, and excelling at high levels all come at a high cost. A lot of people will resent you. Moreover, they may try to sabotage you.

You must realize that there’s usually a social penalty for smarts. This also goes for authenticity, hard work, creativity, and ethics. In fact, if you have any positive qualities, bullies will likely give you a difficult time over it.

2. Your bullies only bully you out of jealousy.

Jealousy is why peers don’t nominate you even if you deserve any awards and accolades. Also, it’s the reason they don’t recognize you for your successes.

These people may think you work too hard or too fast. Maybe they feel that you’re too passionate. Others may think you’re too perfect or excessively detailed.

Realize that jealousy, envy, and resentment are often disguised as cold silence and ignorance. However, you must see these things for what they are.

 They’re only intentional slights from classmates, coworkers, and superiors designed to hold you back. Peers who are secretly angered by your successes will only undermine by stealth silence.

Why? Because to do it openly would be too obvious. It would look to much like sour grapes. In other words, it would only show that these people feel inferior to you.

And most people are careful not to give off even the slightest stink that they might feel a little inferior.

3. Bullied for being Smart:

You raise the bar for everyone else.

When you’re smart, you tend to excel. You may reach heights no one else can reach. Therefore, you unwittingly raise the bar for everyone else.

For example, blue-collar workers often penalize those for working too fast. Classmates hate other classmates who get top scores. Peers covertly hate those who are record-breakers.

But why?

Again, it’s because any person who breaks records unwittingly raises the bar. Therefore they raise teacher or management expectations for the rest. They create new goals that are much harder to attain.

The best of the best only threaten the rest.

4. Bullies experience your intelligence as their inferiority.

In other words, in you, they see their flaws and imperfections reflected back at them.

Socially, it never pays to be a little too perfect in an imperfect world. You don’t score points by being a ray of light in an environment of dark souls.

To bullies, the feeling that someone else is better than them is uncomfortable. Moreover, it nags at them until they find a way- any way possible, to level the playing field.

Many times, people perceive the best to be the worst.

5. Bullied for Being Smart:

You’re not easy to manipulate.

They know that if they try to manipulate you, they won’t get very far. In other words, your bullies instinctively know that you’re smart enough to see through their mind games and facades.

Moreover, when you have high intelligence, you also know yourself. And to know yourself is to trust yourself. When you trust yourself, you trust what you see and experience.

This means that you’re wise to any lies and abuse when you see them. Therefore, you threaten their power.

Bullies hate anyone who has a chance of outsmarting them.

So, never feel bad for being smart! Ever! Know that your intelligence is a gift, and, that’s how you should look at it!

If you allow your bullies to make you feel bad for being smart, allow me to ask you the following question.

Would you rather be bullied for Being Smart or Pitied for Being a dummy?

I ask this question because many intelligent people try to hide their smarts for fear of bullying and hatred. They let others convince them that, because of their smarts, they come off as know-it-alls.

People tell you to dummy down because you’re “likely to make others feel bad about themselves.” They tell you to tone it down a little or you just might offend some people.

This is total BS!

I want you to know one thing right now! It is not your responsibility to make someone else feel good about themselves. Whether your intelligence offends others is not your problem. Their hatred of you is also not your problem.

Bullied for Being Smart:

Continue to be Your Smart Self

Understand that the reason why your intelligence may offend some people is because they are either jealous, intimidated, or insecure. It’s because of their own unaddressed psychological issues. And they’re only trying to lay their insecurity off on you.

Therefore, realize that your intelligence may tempt some to doubt their own smarts and mental capabilities. Also, it may provoke others to compare themselves to you.

Again, that’s not your responsibility. They are the ones doubting and questioning their own intelligence. They are the ones who are making comparisons.

You aren’t doing these things to them. They are doing it to themselves!

You aren’t responsible for someone else’s feelings.

Again, you are not responsible for another person’s self-esteem. Only they can do the inner work needed to raise their confidence levels. Therefore, if they’re too lazy to do that inner work, that’s on them!

Here’s another point I want to make: The hate that’s directed at you never feels good and can be frightening. But always remember that there’s dignity in being hated. On the other hand, there’s  no dignity in being pitied.

Yes, you read that correctly. When people hate you, you still have your dignity. But when they pity you, you’ve lost all dignity and respect!

Others may hate smart people, but they pity the foolish.

Therefore, never hide your intelligence from anyone. Let yourself stand out and shine. And never feel tempted to hide your brilliance because you’re afraid of being bullied, ridiculed, or hated by others. Instead, ask yourself,

“Would you rather be hated for being smart or pitied for being a dummy?”

This post was all about the reasons you’re being bullied for being smart so that you can feel better about yourself and continue being an inspiration to others.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims? Here are Your Answers.

2. What Do Bullies Fear Most? 10 Things that Terrify Bullies

3. How Bullies Gain Power: 9 Astonishing Ways They Do It.

Wallowing in Self Pity: 7 Good Reasons to Stop Doing It

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If you’re a victim of bullying, do you want to know why you should stop wallowing in self pity? Here are all the reasons you need to know.

wallowing in self pity

Too many victims of bullying resort to wallowing in self pity when people bully them. It’s okay to feel hurt and it’s okay to cry. However, when you constantly feel sorry for yourself, you only make life worse for yourself.

Therefore in this post, you will learn why wallowing in self pity is counterproductive and that there are better ways to solve your problems.

Once you learn these important truth, you will seek better ways to overcome bullying.

This post is all about wallowing in self pity and why it’s not good for you so that you can begin handling bullying more constructively.

Wallowing in self pity

It’s okay to cry when someone hurts you. It’s okay to be hurt, angry, and sad. In fact, you need to allow yourself to feel.

Therefore, allow yourself to feel bad. Permit yourself to cry it out. Just don’t unpack your things and live in that dark place.

Never let the cruel words and actions of a bully alter your outlook on the world around you. And don’t allow them to cause you to distrust humanity or yourself!

Know that your bullies’ behavior does not reflect on you! It reflects on the bullies themselves and their issues. I realize that this isn’t always easy.

However, it all comes down to you. You are responsible for your successes and your happiness. Happiness is a choice. It’s not something that magically happens to only certain people.

1. Your bullies are cowards and they’re fighting their own demons.

They’re only fighting the wrong way. And their mistreatment of you is only proof of it.

In most cases, the reason why bullies point out your shortcomings is to distract people’s attention from their own. They’re so afraid that somebody will find out what their weaknesses are.

Bullies are notorious for projecting their flaws onto you to keep other people from seeing theirs. It’s pathetic when you think  about it.

And trust me, we all have imperfections. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t. Distraction and projection are how bullies operate.

They would be the top two tactics in the “How To Bully” handbook if there ever were such a guide. Understand that bullies bully out of only, fear and insecurity!

Therefore, never let your tormentors decide how you should feel about yourself. And never allow them to cause you to feel sorry for yourself.

2. Wallowing in Self-Pity:

Self-Pity is not attractive.

In fact, it’s socially repelling! I’m telling you this because there were times when I made the same mistake. And the only thing it did was bring more misery and drive people away.

So, I tried something different. I began countering everything with comebacks, affirmations, and positive thoughts.

When you begin to counter your bullies’ statements, their words won’t have such an effect on your self-esteem. In other words, your new, positive self-talk will become a buffer to the bullies’ insults and name-calling. Therefore, you won’t be nearly as hurt or saddened by it.

No matter what anyone says about you, you must look in the mirror every single day and convince yourself that you’re an awesome person. That you are the best, and sometimes, people treat the best the worst.

Moreover, you may need to have this self-talk every minute of every day. Why? Because you must do it often enough for it to sink in.

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, try positive self-talk. Begin praising yourself for all your good qualities. And know in your heart the good you bring to this world and the blessing you are to the people who love you.

Why? Because the more you love yourself and the less self-pity you live in, the easier it will be to find solutions. You’re worth it! Don’t you think?

3. Life Isn’t fair.

It’s the truth. It never has been and never will be. God deals each of us a hand of cards. Some people get a crappy hand and some, a lucky hand.

However, the trick is to play the hand you’re dealt and to play it wisely. Some people are born poor, some middle-class, and others are born rich.

Some are born with disabilities and others aren’t. One person may have access to certain things and another person may not. It’s the luck of the draw.

Nevertheless, you have the choice of whether to move up, stay where you are, or descend. In other words, if you don’t like where you are, you have the ability to move upward.

It may take a while. It may require years of hard work. But if you want it bad enough, you will do what you must do to achieve it. Complaining only keeps you stuck!

Therefore, empower yourself by ditching the word, “fair.”

4. Wallowing in self Pity:

No one owes you anything. You owe it to yourself.

Whether you’ve been mistreated and cheated, no one owes you anything. However, you do owe it to yourself. You have every right to pursue and achieve happiness.  And you can make a good life for yourself.

Only you are responsible for your life

Understand that nobody can achieve anything for you. Therefore, it’s your responsibility to get where you want to go.

Each of us has our own lives to improve and each person is responsible for their own destiny.

5. No one else will improve your life for you.

Governments really don’t care about you. Though they may try to legislate blessings, luck, and chance, they only do it out of their own self-interest.

Moreover, they cannot legislate fairness. You only have yourself to depend on and you should never depend on the government, your school, your parents, anyone else to improve your life.

You must do it all on your own by taking risks and doing the work required to reach your goals. On the other hand, whining and complaining gets you nowhere. Also, anger and bitterness only make things worse for you.

Today, I hear more and more whining, “it’s not fair.” I see people act out and throw tantrums, as if its going to get them somewhere.

Understand that this is victim-mentality. And those kinds of thought processes only serve to keep you down and out.

People need to grow up and accept that the world isn’t all unicorns, rainbows, fairies, and pixie dust. In short, life isn’t fair.

Sadly, I see many victims of bullying do this. Though I hate to admit it, I did the same once upon a time.

The only way you can take back your happiness is to banish the word, “fair” from your vocabulary. Then, work toward your goals. Stop depending on other people and entities to get you what you want.

And once you do, I guarantee that you’ll instantly empower yourself and be much happier.

6. Wallowing in Self Pity:

Complaining won’t help you any.

Moreover, when you whine and complain, you only focus on the problem and not a possible solution. This is why others don’t like, nor do they respect a complainer. If you need to get something off your chest, that’s okay. However, there’s a time and place for it.

Throughout my life, I’ve known such chronic complainers, that complaining seemed to be the default mode for them. They even whined after they found a solution to their problem.

“But it didn’t happen fast enough!” they might have said. To that, I wanted to say, “Hey, buddy! Nothing good comes quickly nor easily! Life’s tough! Get used to it!”

Moreover, I’ve even known whiners who really didn’t want a solution to their problems. They just wanted to gripe, thinking it would get rid of all that pinned-up energy and make them feel better. Sadly, I was guilty of these things when I was young.

whining and complaining always comes from powerlessness!

Understand that complaining comes from weakness. It stems from feelings of powerlessness and a victim-mentality.

Moreover, you only unleash all your anger and frustration. Not that it’s necessarily a bad thing every once in a while. Even the most resilient must vent every now and then.

Everyone has times when they must blow off a little steam. However, when you do it constantly, it becomes a problem.

The people around you will only get sick of listening to it. After a while they will lose respect for you.

Also, complaining invites bullying to come your way. Why? Because bullies will use it as a weapon against you. Therefore, all that complaining becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If you are a victim of bullying, I want you to realize that whining about it, rather than taking action against it, will make you an even bigger target!

Wallowing in Self Pity:

chronic complaining also stems from laziness and lack of personal responsibility.

Hey! I understand how you feel. You have every right to be angry. Being bullied sucks and it hurts. I get that.

However, as I said earlier, complaining comes from powerlessness and weakness. Moreover, it comes from laziness and lack of personal responsibility.

Complaining alone does nothing to solve the problem. You must take action.

On the other hand, if you’re an empath and you hear someone else constantly complaining, it may be tempting to lend the person your ear. This is a bad idea because you’re not helping the person.

You may be enabling them to complain more. Also, you might be setting yourself up to be their go-to person anytime they need to unload.

As a result, the person won’t feel better. They’ll only drain your energy.

7. You only alienate people who might otherwise help you.

In other words, others won’t want to be around you. Moreover, you’ll kill any support you might otherwise have if you took action instead of having a pity party.

Only victims complain, targets take action. You’ll score more points by doing something about the bullying than you will by whining and complaining about it.

When you’re a target of bullying and not a victim, you understand that life doesn’t have to be fair. Moreover, you take action by standing up for yourself and reporting it.

And, in doing that, you empower yourself and continue to stand strong. Therefore, if you have a problem, find solutions.

Instead of consistently whining and complaining, begin taking action. Empower yourself. Be your own hero!

This post was all about wallowing in self pity and why you should take action and find solutions instead.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters

2. How to Overcome Victim Mentality: 5 Proven Mind Hacks

3. Negative Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: 9 Ways it Plagues Victims of Bullying

there's always hope

There’s Always Hope: 11 Things to Remember When People Bully You

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If you’re a victim of bullying, know that there’s always hope and that you can overcome it. Here are several things you need to remember when people bully you.

there's always hope

In this post you will learn that there’s always hope when people bully you. Moreover, you will know that as long as you stay alive, this sad chapter in your life won’t last forever.

Once you learn all these things, you’ll want to fight so that you can look forward to a better future.

The purpose of this post is to assure you that there’s always hope when you’re being bullied. Also, it’s to give you encouragement and let you know that your life won’t always be this way. You can overcome bullying and a wonderful life is waiting for you on the other side of it.

There’s always hope

Things may seem hopeless now. But take heart. You won’t have to deal with bullying forever. Life does get better!

Hope, Your Best Ally Against Bullying

Bullying is a war unlike no other. It’s the fight of your life. It’s a battle in which there’s no clear cut enemy.

Bullying is a situation in which hope is your only ally. Don’t lose it! Because, in losing it, you also lose morale and the strength to keep going.

Hope enables you to look to the future. It gives you strength and the wisdom to know that whatever you endure in the present will eventually pass.

It encourages resilience and gives you the endurance to go on. Hope gives you confidence. And with confidence comes the determination to reach the finish line and win the race.

Hope opens doors. It’s that still, small voice that whispers, “Keep going. You’ve got this!” Holding onto hope fuels success in helping you to attain your goals and desires. It’s the will to persevere during the toughest of times and go after your dreams in life.

Never lose hope. Because if you lose it, there’s nothing left.

There’s Always Hope:

Please Hold On! The Best is Yet to Come!

People may bully you now but they won’t always. Although the bullying is intense- even unbearable, the struggle is only temporary. And I do not say this lightly.

Some of you may be thinking… “But she doesn’t understand! Nobody understands!”

“She’s isn’t suffering, and she doesn’t understand the hell I go through every day at work or at school!”

However, I do. Why? Because, once upon a time, I was stuck in the same spot that you are in today.

I know what it is like to want to smile, laugh, sing, and dance only for others beat it out of you. Also, I understand the pain of wanting to believe in yourself and see your own value.

You try to feel good about yourself, only for others to repeatedly and seemingly deliberately drum into your head that you are nothing.

I Feel Your Pain because I Experienced it.

To want to speak and use your voice, only for people to silence you! You want to just live in peace but others won’t let you.

 They only threaten physical harm, further degradation and humiliation. School staff threatens suspension or expulsion. Your supervisor may threaten you with the loss of your job and livelihood.

Moreover,  others may sabotage your opportunities! I know all too well the desire to move forward and go places, only for bullies to hold you back.

To want to escape the torment, only to be stuck in a toxic environment with toxic people, against your will! I know the horror of knowing that others curse your very existence and bombard you with death threats.

I know what it feels like to have others force you to sacrifice your own needs and wants for their own satisfaction! And to see others getting gratification and entertainment- all at your expense!

I know what it’s like to be marginalized, shut out, and devalued as a person. Additionally, I know what it’s like to even be slapped, kicked, beaten, scorned, disregarded, walked on!

There’s Always Hope:

“Are you dead yet?”

It is a feeling of being run over by a truck, whose driver then stops, throws it into reverse, and backs over you again. The driver then shifts back into drive and mows over you- yet again. He then stops the truck, opens the door, sticks his head out, and asks, “Are you dead yet?”

Bullies don’t only want to hurt you, they want to destroy you.

And any signs of life- any whimper or movement only encourages the driver to close the door, shift into reverse again, and back over you again. He just keeps running and backing over you until you finally succumb to the trauma and die.

Yes. This is akin to what targets of bullying endure. Bullies want to destroy you. And it seems that they won’t relent until they are sure that they have done just that.

But know this. You will not have to deal with these people forever, and Karma does repay – in spades! If you keep believing in yourself, you will become successful and happy. And when you finally get there, your bullies won’t even matter to you.

The Resilience of The Target of Bullying

Understand that we, as humans, know what we need to nourish and flourish. Therefore, if we’re not getting what we need and want in our current environment, we’ll get it somewhere else.

Targets of bullying are like flowers that lean toward the sunlight to grow. So, if you’re a target of bullying, you will find someplace where you’re accepted. You will find friends. You’ll find love, and you’ll find happiness.

My bullies weren’t able to keep me bullied and broken. After I moved to a new school, their power ended.

I was no longer within their reach. As badly as they wanted to, they couldn’t keep me under their bootheel forever. I moved on to a place with people who accepted me as I was.

Understand that bullies can only keep you down for so long. They can’t do it forever. There’s always somewhere people will accept you – just for being your awesome self. Always remember that. There’s always a better tomorrow!

There’s Always Hope:

If You’re a Target of Bullying, Here’s a Message for You

Many bullied kids (and adults) are dying by suicide. This should hit home with many people because the suicide rate among bullied kids and teens is astronomical!

It certainly hits home with me because I attempted suicide at age fourteen after being bullied for several years. But I survived, and things got much better once I left that toxic learning environment I was bullied in.

Therefore, I want you to know these truths.

1. You can overcome bullying and move on to a better life.

Know that You CAN Overcome Bullying!

You are beautiful! Smart! Awesome! And one day, you will cross paths with people who will see your worth and love you.

Moreover, they will love you unconditionally – just for being YOU! You will find a teacher, school, supervisor, or employer who will see the good you bring to the table.  A

These people will view you as the asset you truly are! Don’t give up. You are worth fighting for!

2. The situation you’re in is only one chapter of your life, not the entire book.

Whether you’re being bullied in school or the workplace, know that this is only one chapter. It’s a trial. Therefore, things won’t always be this way.

You’ll move through it and better days will come. I promise!

3. There’s Always Hope:

There are better ways to handle bullying other than taking your own life.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Moreover, if you take your own life, your bullies automatically win!

But as long as you have breath in you, chances are that your life will get better. Moreover, these people won’t always be in your life.

Therefore, don’t let them win. Stay strong and push forward. Know that life eventually gets better!

4. You must love yourself regardless of what others think.

Loving yourself in an environment that hates you is an act of rebellion. Therefore, be a rebel. Continue to love yourself, no matter what.

Why? Because it will pay huge dividends in the end.

5. You are just as good as anyone else, regardless of what people tell you.

All you have to do is believe it with every fiber of your being. Never allow your bullies to make you feel inferior.

Hold onto your self-belief!

6. There’s Always Hope:

You can do anything you set your mind to if you believe in yourself.

Self-belief is powerful! Therefore, if you have a goal, work on it until you achieve it. Don’t give up!

7. You Can educate yourself about bullies.

This means you must learn their mindsets, their tactics, and the damage they can do. Therefore, read and study everything you can about bullying.

The more you know about bullies and how they think and operate, the better off you’ll be. Why? Because knowledge is power! Therefore, the more you learn about bullies, the better you’ll be able to protect yourself against them.

8. Recognize the beginning symptoms of low self-esteem and find ways to fight it.

The key to protecting your self-esteem is to know when it’s about to take a nosedive. That’s the time to double down on your self-belief.

Moreover, it’s also the time for self-care. Therefore, show yourself compassion and do the things that make you feel good. It’s the only way you’re keep your self-esteem healthy.

9. Know that if bullies take your confidence, they can alter the course of your life.

Your life is yours. Therefore, when people bully you, you must fight like the devil to keep your confidence intact.

Why? Because it could be the difference between a life that’s rewarding or a life that’s difficult.

10. There’s Always Hope:

You have more power than you know.

Power isn’t only power you have. It’s also power you think you have. Never allow bullies to fool you into thinking you’re powerless.

Keep standing up to bullies no matter what. That’s how you keep your power.

11. Confidence is the key to a better and more rewarding life.

When bullies are attacking you at every turn, it’s easy to lose confidence. Moreover, it’s easy to lose that positive attitude you once had.

If you aren’t careful, you’ll begin to doubt yourself and give up on your goals.

Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying, I want to encourage you to hold your head high and keep the faith. Stay true to your own heart and follow your dreams. Know that it won’t last forever and one day soon, things are going to change for the better! I guarantee it!

There’s always hope! the purpose of this post is to give you the encouragement you need to stay in the fight and continue looking forward to a better future.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

2. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

3. Encouraging Words for Bullying: You Can Overcome!

How to Deal with Bullies: 7 Do’s and Don’ts You Need to Know

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‘Want to know how to deal with bullies? There’s a right way and a wrong way to handle them. Here are the 7 do’s and don’ts you need to be aware of.

how to deal with bullies

Bullies have all kinds of tactics in their bag of tricks. They have tactics you probably haven’t thought about yet. Moreover, there’s a wrong and right way to deal with them.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to deal with bullies. You will learn the wrong and right ways to handle them so that you know what measures to avoid and which to use.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be better able to make yourself less a target and handle bullies wisely.

This post is all about how to deal with bullies so that you can take care of yourself in any bullying situation.

How to Deal with Bullies

In order to better know the right ways to handle bullying, you must first know what ways to avoid. Here are the wrong ways of dealing with bullying that you need to know.

The Don’ts:

1. Don’t Ask them, “Why”.

Why? Because they will never tell you why they treat you so inhumanely. Understand that keeping you guessing is half the power bullies have over you.

Bullies are notorious for withholding information. In fact, withholding information is a silent bullying tactic all it’s own. Therefore, they’ll never tell you why they bully you.

In some cases, the bullies, themselves, don’t really know why. However, if they did, they probably wouldn’t tell you the truth.

So, why won’t they tell you the reasons they mistreat you?

Simple. It’s to keep you confused and bewildered. Keeping you befuddled is a power all its own. Because when you’re confused, you can’t think clearly.

And if you can’t think clearly, the less likely you are to figure out what to do to escape the bullies and their abuse. Or worse- how to defend yourself, conquer your bullies, and win your power back.

Keeping you confused is a huge chunk of the power bullies have over you.

Understand that bullies will never relinquish their power. Never! And to be truthful as to why they bully you would be like giving secrets to the enemy.

To be honest and tell you what they hate about you would be like giving their power away to you, and they’ll be damned if they ever!

I want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with you. You must know in your heart that you never did anything to deserve the brutal treatment your bullies continuously dish out to you.

They are the messed up ones. They are the ones with the problem. Moreover, they are the ones who will have to answer for what they’re doing one day, either in this life or the next.

Therefore, instead of focusing your attention on trying to find out why your bullies are giving you problems, focus on self-care.

Instead of asking, “Why me?” ask, “What can I do to take care of myself?” or “What can I do to remove myself from the situation?”

Think about what options you have and weigh each of them carefully. Then quietly begin making plans to get out of there as soon and as safely as possible.

2. How to Deal with Bullies:

Don’t give them any apology. Ever!

For anything!

Why? Because bullies will only see your apologies as weakness. And you can never appease a bully. Realize that when you apologize to a bully, you’re taking responsibility for things that aren’t your fault.

And when you give bullies apologies that are undeserved, you take accountability for their deplorable behavior. Furthermore, you’re giving your bullies exactly what they want and they know it.

Bullies and abusers will try to force you to apologize for something you know isn’t your fault. In other words, they’ll try to make you sorry for things that are beyond your control.

Moreover, they’ll even try and make you apologize for something that doesn’t need an apology. Therefore, respond but don’t apologize.

In other words, don’t say, “I’m sorry,” or “I apologize.”

Here are ways you can respond to bullies who pull this crap. And these are very powerful responses. When you use these, you respond to these bullies without accepting blame. You also respond with strength and power.

  • You’ll get over it.
  • You’ll be alright.
  • By the end of the day, this won’t even matter.
  • It’s no big deal.
  • This isn’t a crisis. Everything’s going to be okay.

3. How to Deal with Bullies:

Don’t explain anything to them.

When having a conversation with bullies and abusers, they will often try to trick you into explaining yourself to them. This is a trap because, no matter how you much explaining you do, they’ll never accept anything you have to say.

It doesn’t matter how logical your explanation may be, bullies will only pretend that they don’t understand. They’ll only keep challenging and criticizing your explanations just to get you to give even more of them.

Know that they do this on purpose.

You must see this tactic for what it is and what it’s meant to do. It’s all designed to throw you off balance. Moreover, bullies want to keep you running in an endless hamster wheel of explanations and justifications.

Therefore, the important thing to bear in mind is that this is a trick! Bullies really don’t need an explanation from you. In fact, they don’t even want one.

They only pretend to want it. What your bullies really want is to bamboozle you and keep you interacting with them.

Why? Because the longer your bullies can keep you engaging with them, the more chances they have to twist the things you say. Then, they can use them as proverbial bullets to fire back at you later.

Therefore, don’t explain a damn thing to them. You must realize that you don’t own them any explanations. You don’t owe them squat!

How to Deal with Bullies:

Do’s

1. Do stand up to them.

You must stand up to bullies. Never ignore them and never handle them with diplomacy or politeness.

Remember that bullies don’t respond to politeness, diplomacy, or pleasantries. They only respond to strength and power. Therefore, you must communicate to them in the only language they understand.

In other words, you must respond with strength and power! And sometimes that means being brutal!

For instance, physical bullies only understand the language of fists. So, you must be prepared to put up your fists and fight if necessary!

2. Gather your own evidence of bullying.

If you’re a victim of bullying, it’s crucial that you get evidence of it. Keep a daily journal and document the bullying, using the 5W Method.

Also, save any electronic evidence of cyberbullying. Why? Because if they bully you at school or work, they’ll probably find you online and bully you there as well.

Therefore, save any mean and threatening texts, emails, social media posts, and private messages on three or more flash drives.

Furthermore, depending on the laws in your state, you may be able to wear a body cam or record the bullying on a digital audio recorder.

And save any medical records and doctor’s reports if you ever need medical attention because of a physical bully.

3. How to Deal with Bullies:

Report the bullying to authorities.

Report the bullying to the principal, human resources, or the police. If the bullying is happening at work, fill out a grievance form. They also have bullying forms at school that you can fill out.

If all else fails, report the bullying to the police and get a restraining order. They may not do anything. However, the idea is to establish a paper trail.

And be sure to get copies of the paperwork. If there are reports on file and copies of them in your possession, you will establish evidence of a pattern of bullying.

This is a must in case you have to take it to court later.

Here’s another thing I want to mention. When you report bullying, schools and workplaces may try to assure you that they’ll do an internal investigation.

However, most of them don’t. And if they do conduct an investigation, it’s usually a sloppy one. This is why you must quietly do your own investigation.

This may require a lot of work on your part. Moreover, you may have to go through many channels. You will need patience because it will take some time.

But when you’re being bullied, you can’t afford to be lazy. Be proactive. Gather your own evidence. Be your own detective. I guarantee you that it will be worth it in the long run!

In Closing:

There are right and wrong ways to handle bullies. However, if you do everything right, you can overcome bullying. And you can emerge a winner!

This post was all about how to deal with bullies so that you can know what to do and what not to do when you encounter bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying

2. Saying Sorry Too Much: 4 Reasons You Do and How to Stop It

3. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond

Encouraging Words for Bullying: You Can Overcome!

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If you’re being bullied, I want to give you some encouraging words for bullying. Also, you need to know why you deserve better and why the bullying isn’t your fault. Here are some truths you need to hear so that you can feel better and stronger.

encouraging words for bullying

When people target you for bullying, you hear mostly destructive and negative words.

Therefore, in this post, you will find encouraging words for bullying so that you can finally see yourself for the wonderful human being you are. Moreover, you’ll realize that the bullying you suffer won’t last forever and there will come a day when you won’t even have to see your bullies’ faces anymore.

Once you learn all about these exciting probabilities, you will feel so much better. Also, you will look forward to a future with true friends who love you for you.

This post will give you encouraging words for bullying that you suffer. Moreover, it will remind you that you, as much as anyone else, deserve happiness and fulfillment. Lastly, it will assure you that what you’re going through is only temporary and that brighter days are ahead of you.

Encouraging Words for Bullying

People may bully you now but they won’t always. Although the bullying is intense- even unbearable, the struggle is only temporary.

I know what you’re going through because I’ve been there. You want to speak and be heard, but you’re only told to shut up by your classmates or coworkers.

You want to just live in peace. However, no one will let you. They only threaten physical harm, further degradation and humiliation.

School staff may threaten suspension or expulsion. HR at work may threaten to terminate you. Your supervisor may also threaten you with the loss of your job and livelihood.

Moreover, others may sabotage your opportunities! I know all too well the desire to move forward and go places, only for bullies to hold you back.

You only want to escape the torment. However, you’re stuck in a toxic environment with toxic people, against your will! I know the horror of knowing that others curse your very existence and bombard you with death threats.

I know what it feels like to have others force you to sacrifice your own needs and wants for their own satisfaction! And to see others getting gratification and entertainment- all at your expense.

Also, I know what it’s like to be marginalized, shut out and devalued as a person. Additionally, I know what it’s like to even be slapped, kicked, beaten, scorned, disregarded, walked on!

Bullies Don’t only want to hurt you. They want to destroy you!

It is a feeling of being run over by a truck, whose driver then stops, throws it into reverse, and backs over you again. The driver shifts back into drive and mows over you- yet again.

He then stops the truck, opens the door, sticks his head out, and asks, “Are you dead yet?”
And any signs of life- any whimper or movement only encourages the driver to close the door, shift into reverse again, and back over you again.

Therefore, he just keeps running and backing over you until you finally succumb to the trauma and die.

Yes. This is akin to what targets of bullying endure. Bullies want to destroy you, and it seems that they won’t relent until they are sure that they have done just that.

But know this. You will not have to deal with these people forever, and Karma does repay- in spades! If you keep believing in yourself, you will become successful and happy.

And when you finally get there, your bullies won’t even matter to you.

Encouraging Words for Bullying:

Know that You CAN Overcome Bullying!

You are beautiful! Smart! Awesome! And one day, you will cross paths with people who will see your worth and love you. Even better, they will love you unconditionally- just for being YOU!

You will find a teacher, school, supervisor, or employer who will see the good you bring to the table. And these people will view you as the asset you truly are!
Don’t give up. You are worth fighting for!

There is Life After Bullying

People may bully you now. They may taunt you, call you ugly names and physically beat you. They may humiliate you, and turn others against you. Those around you may make you feel sad, alone, unattractive, and rejected in the present.

But rest assured, it won’t always be this way.

Take it from someone who has been there. I had no friends in middle school nor high school until I finally transferred to my new high school during my senior year.

Once I left *Oakley High School and began attending *Roseburg High School, that’s when life began. And I took back my power and started rebuilding every part of me that my bullies from the old school had torn down.

Leaving Oakley was the free feeling you get after walking away from a toxic and abusive boyfriend.

Encouraging Words for Bullying:

As an adult, my confidence and self-esteem blossomed.

Today, I’m a very happy adult woman and have so much to be thankful for. I have a family of my own. I enjoy my job and am comfortable in my own skin. I’ve accomplished more than I thought I ever would.

I also have grown to love myself- imperfections and all.

I don’t worry about what others think of me, and I permit myself to be me and to say no when I don’t want to get involved in or do something that doesn’t feel right to me.

These are freedoms that I will never again give up. Not without one hell of a fight!

Therefore, don’t Give Up! There’s beauty on the other side of bullying
I want you to know that the bullying you’re subjected to now will not last. And there’s a beautiful life waiting for you once it’s over.

So, whatever you do, don’t give up! Stay your course, and keep fighting. Hold on to your faith and your dignity with everything you have.

It may not seem like it now, but the best is yet to come, and the right people will find you.
Today, I’m surrounded by family and friends who love and accept me for me.

Moreover, I have friends I never have to explain anything to and who love my flaws and quirks along with my good qualities. I’m so secure with being myself that I can make fun of myself and have a good time doing it.

I’m relaxed, worry-free, and best of all, safe! I’ve found my group, and you will find yours. And once you find them, they’ll be well worth the wait!

You’re worth fighting and living for. Don’t give up now. Stick around! It gets better! Much better!

Encouraging Words for Bullying:

8 Things You Must Always Remember If You’re a Target of Bullying

1. It’s Not your fault.

Realize that you can never control someone else’s behavior. People have their own minds and they will do what they want. Therefore, you’re not responsible for anyone else’s actions but your own.

Don’t let your bullies blame you for their bad behavior!

2. There is nothing wrong with you.

Understand that the issue isn’t with you. It’s them. Anyone who sets out to harm someone else always has the problem.

Also, no one is perfect. We all have flaws and quirks. Therefore, embrace yours. Never allow bullies to make you feel bad over an imperfection.

If it’s something that you can change and that you want to change, then change it. However, if you can’t, then accept and embrace it.

3. You don’t have the issue. Your bullies do.

Again, you don’t have the problem. Your bullies do. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be so hell bent on hurting and destroying another human being.

4. Encouraging Words for Bullying:

It’s not about you. It’s about them.

In other words, bullying comes from self-servitude. Bullies bully to hide their own insecurities and keep up an image.

So, it’s about them. They’re only trying to make it about you.

5. You have value.

Everyone has value, even you. Realize that you’re just as good as the next person. You are beautiful just the way you are.

And you’re worthy of love and friendship. There will come a day when the right people come along and they will love you for you.

The things your bullies bully you for now will be the things people love you for later! Even now, you still have people who love you and believe in you.

6. You are stronger and braver than your bullies ever will be.

Bullies are cowards. The reason they bully you is to make themselves look bigger and better than you. Also, they do it to hide their own weaknesses.

Therefore, you are much stronger and braver than your bullies ever will be. Why? Because you don’t have to resort to such meanness. And that alone makes it so.

Keep being your awesome self!

7. You’re more powerful than you realize

You can do a lot more than you think you can. Moreover, you’re much smarter than they give you credit for. Realize that you’re a threat to your bullies’ power.

Also, know that most bullying comes from jealousy, fear, or insecurity. And the best are usually treated the worst.

Therefore, know that you’re here for a great purpose!

8. Life always gets better.

It may not seem like it at present, but life will eventually get better. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

Therefore, please hold on. The best is yet to come!

The purpose of this post was to give you encouraging words for bullying you suffer. stay in the fight. don’t throw in the towel just yet! you never know what the future will bring.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Be Happy Be Yourself: 3 Benefits You Reap When You Stop Caring What Others Think

2. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

3. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

preserving your personhood when bullied at school

Preserving Your Personhood when Bullied

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‘Want to know all about preserving your personhood when bullied? Here are all the ways you can keep your humanity intact when people bully you.

preserving your personhood when bullied

Being bullied and being stuck with unnecessary labels can very easily cause a person to self-doubt. It causes one not to believe in themselves and in their own abilities.

Moreover, it can also enable that person to trust their own innate intuition if they let it. It blinds you to people who are true. And it completely zaps your sense of who’s for real and who’s fake. Therefore, it causes the loss of ability to avoid dangerous people.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the importance of preserving your personhood when being bullied.

Once you know all about this important information, you will be better able to guard your mental health against bullying so that you can come through it as strong as possible.

This post is all about preserving your personhood when bullied so that you can come through it with as little damage as possible.

Preserving Your Personhood When Bullied

Bullying is a form of brainwashing. It is repeated, repetitious, and occurs over a long period of time. Moreover, it reprograms your mind and convinces you that you’re nothing.

 It eventually blinds you to your own worth as a person and to your own beauty. Also, it blinds you to your own intelligence.

It zaps you of your trust in your own abilities and decisions. You fear that anything you say and do will be wrong. Therefore, you keep your talents and gifts hidden from the world because you fear ridicule.

Self-doubt keeps you paralyzed. You hide your true, awesome self. However, by trying to hide your authenticity from others, you unwittingly push yourself down and make foolish decisions.

Therefore, you must avoid this at all costs.

Here’s how you keep your personhood when people bullying you.

1. Stop Caring what people think of you.

Here are questions you need to ponder. Does it really matter what these creeps think of you? Have any of them reached your level? Do their opinions matter? Who are they that you should care what they think? Do their opinions have any bearing on your life?

They probably don’t. So, stop caring about their opinion of you. Opinions are a dime a dozen and they don’t matter. Moreover, your bullies don’t know you on a personal level.

The weight you give to anyone’s opinion should always depend on who holds it and and the relationship you have with them. In other words, the value you give their opinion depends on who they are and how close you are to them.

Therefore, realize that not everyone’s thoughts or opinions are relevant. Anything they say to or about you means squat.

In order for someone to offend you must first value their opinions. And that means, you must first value them. Stop giving your bullies value they haven’t earned!

Realize that your bullies’ hatred only came from a place of ignorance and stupidity. Or, it could stem from bitterness, jealousy or insecurity.

Therefore, take it with a grain of salt. Only value the opinions of God and your closest family members and friends.

When you stop caring what bullies think of you, you stop valuing their opinions. In that, you stop giving bullies value and consideration they haven’t earned. And ultimately, you stop giving them power.

2. Preserving Your Personhood When Bullied:

Be Yourself.

Continue to be yourself. No matter how others may treat you, always take steps to keep your authenticity.

If you have any talents or gifts, display them with pride. Do things that you enjoy and spend extra time with those who love you and lift you up.

You will be surprised at how great you will feel about yourself. Therefore, bullying will have less of an impact on your self-esteem.

Never lose yourself because of a bully.

3. Have the courage to be disliked.

In other words, do your thing even when others don’t like it. Again, be yourself and stand up for your beliefs and convictions.

Have your own preferences and make your own choices. Do the things you love to do. And lastly, follow your own dreams and your heart. Do all of these things no matter who does or doesn’t like it.

When people bully and ridicule you, this is the time to double down in being proud of who you are.

4. Preserving Your Personhood When Bullied:

Love yourself even when others hate you.

No matter how viciously others may treat you, it’s imperative that you do everything possible to hold on to self-love. Why? Because loving yourself is the most important thing you can ever do for yourself.

You must command respect and love from others. Sometimes, this means having the courage to make difficult decisions. The decision to get rid of toxic people, even those you care about isn’t easy.

Still, you must love yourself enough to know when it’s time to let go and walk away. And when you do this, you must come to a place where you no longer care even the slightest about the outcome.

You must love yourself before anyone else can love you. Therefore, give yourself compassion and self-care when others mistreat you.

5. Re-Frame Every Insult Your Bullies Throw At You.

For instance, you’re painfully shy and quiet and bullies mistake those characteristics for fear. You can use your silence to be a good listener when someone needs to talk.

Therefore, see it for the gift that it is. It may gain you close friends because the other person will feel that they’re being listened to. Moreover, they’re sense that you care about them. And when you take an interest in someone and in how they feel, who doesn’t love that!

Here’s another example. You have a small mole that bullies make fun of. Remember that Marilyn Monroe also had a mole just above her upper lip. But her mole was referred to as a beauty mark. Therefore, it ended up being her trademark.

This is how you re-frame people’s insults. You turn them around and mold them into compliments.

6. Preserving Your Personhood When Bullied:

Stand up to Bullies.

You may be afraid to stand up to your bullies and that’s completely natural. Anytime you stand up to bullies, you’re taking a risk.

However, it’s often worth the risk in the end. If your bullies keep coming for you, you mustn’t back down. Unless they have a deadly weapon, keep fighting and fighting hard. Realize that no one has the right to abuse you.

Know that you deserve to be safe and to live in peace. And when bullies try to disrupt your peace, you have every right to stand up to them and defend yourself.

If you don’t take care of yourself, no one else will. Therefore, don’t wait for someone to come rescue you because, chances are, it won’t happen. It’s up to you to take a stand. Your life is your responsibility. That means that standing up to bullies is your responsibility.

Continue to stand up for yourself, because you, as much as anyone else, deserve to live in peace.

7. Guard your self-esteem.

This means refusing to allow your bullies to turn you against yourself. No matter what other people may think of you, you are the only one who knows who you truly are.

Bullies are known for spinning smear campaigns to turn others against you. Why? Because it’s the only way they can make their lies and accusations seem valid.

However, no matter how convincing the bullies may be. No matter how many people believe the lies and rumors, it doesn’t mean the talk is true.

Only you can judge who you really are, nobody else can. I know it’s difficult not to question yourself when it seems that others hate you.

Anyone who finds themselves in this situation would ask themselves, “What did I do?” or “What did I say?” It’s only a natural human reaction to being ostracized.

Therefore, it’s difficult not to blame yourself.

But please, for your own self-esteem, do not blame yourself. Remember that the problem lies with the bullies, not with you. You are not responsible for what is happening to you.

 Hold on to your sense of self and guard your self-esteem with your life!

8. Preserving Your Personhood When Bullied:

Set Your Boundaries.

Setting boundaries is your responsibility. No one else will do it for you. Therefore, you must set boundaries any time someone steps over them.

I understand that it isn’t easy. In fact, it’s one of the hardest things to do. Especially after people have bullied you for so long.

They may have brainwashed you into thinking that you’re to blame for their brutish behavior. Your bullies may have even conditioned you to take the abuse and allow them to ride roughshod over you. Or, you may even fear for your physical safety.

However, at some point, you will have to make a choice. You either stand up and defend yourself or you keep taking it and spend your entire life with people jerking you around.

Setting boundaries means saying no when a bully demands that you do something you don’t want to do. It also means calling out someone who tries to abuse you.

Always set your boundaries. It may or may not change the person’ s behavior. But you’ll feel good just knowing that you didn’t just take it lying down.

9. Enforce Your Boundaries.

Boundaries mean nothing unless you enforce them.

Enforcing personal boundaries is much riskier than setting them. This is because, when you set boundaries, you’re only letting people know what they are. Therefore, the only risk to you is of someone challenging those boundaries.

On the other hand, enforcing your boundaries means that you impose consequences to anyone arrogant enough to cross them. Therefore, once a bully or abuser steps over your boundaries, then, it’s time to enforce them.

Sometimes, you must fight back if people insist on harming you. Don’t be afraid to do so. Your self-esteem will thank you later.

Also, you’ll preserve your personhood and your individuality, in the process.

THis post was all about preserving your personhood when bullied so that you can not only survive bullying but overcome it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You

2. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

3. Be Happy, Be Yourself

Seeking Validation: 9 Ways it Only Exacerbates Bullying

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‘Want to know about seeking validation and why it only worsens bullying. Here are all the details you need to know.

seeking validation

Sadly, many targets of bullying seek validation from others. Often, the people they seek it from are mostly those who could absolutely care less about them. Even worse, those they seek approval from are bullies – people who have absolutely zero respect for them.

It’s pretty counterproductive. Don’t you think?

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about seeking validation and why you shouldn’t do it.

Once you learn all about this essential information, you’ll want to avoid such behavior and begin treating yourself with respect.

This post is all about seeking validation, how you can change this behavior, and why you should change it.

Seeking Validation

Most victims of bullying are lonely and others reject them all the time. Therefore, they tend to crawl behind people. Even worse, they crawl behind those who don’t give a damn about them.

Why? Because they have such low self-esteem that they’re willing to trade their pride and self-respect for just a tiny morsel of acceptance.

In other words, they simp for approval! Ewww!

Therefore, if you are a target of bullying and this applies to you, ask yourself these questions aloud:

  • If these people never gave a hoot about me or my life to begin with, then who are they that I should seek approval from?
  • Who are they that I must impress?
  • Are they really so important that I should pretend to be someone I’m not?
  • Who are they that I have to lie?
  • Who are they that I must expend so much of my effort and energy for?
  • Are these creeps people I should chase and crawl up behind?
  • Who are they that I should beg?

Never Give Anyone Value They Haven’t Earned

Notice those last two questions and the words “chase,” “crawl up behind,” and “beg.” They will immediately jump out at you and may even make you angry.

And you know what? They should. Remember that you’re seeking their approval. Therefore, those three things are basically what you’re doing.

Therefore, never seek approval from bullies, abusers, or anyone who neither respects you nor gives a crap about you. Because, when you do, you are, in a sense, giving them value they haven’t earned.

If, at any time, you must suppress parts yourself to gain validation from another person, you short change yourself. Realize that a bully will never add value or benefit to your life.

Therefore, they haven’t earned the honor and privilege of being in your life. They don’t even deserve to be in your presence.

When you submit to and follow the standards of others for the sake of validation and acceptance, you only lower your own standards.

Seeking Validation:

You Don’t Need the Approval of Anyone Who Isn’t Worthy

Stop busting your butt to gain other people’s approval because their approval isn’t needed. Therefore, their opinions need not apply.

If anyone ever tries to impose their so-called rules on you, you have a right to tell that person to go to hell. In other words, if the person isn’t a parent or well-meaning teacher or supervisor, tell them to go crawl back under the horse-apple they wormed and wiggled their way from beneath.

 You have an obligation to yourself not to give them your power. And that’s exactly what you’re giving them when you seek approval from them.

You give them control over your life! That’s something they have no right to. Your power is yours and yours alone.

But once you take back your power by refusing to care what they think, your life will only get better. Take it from me. I’m living proof.

Life begins when you stop caring what people think and begin living life on your terms. Try it. I guarantee that you’ll thank yourself later!

Don’t you know you deserve to be happy?

Too many victims think that sucking up will win them Validation.

Too many targets are bullied for so long they begin to look for any crumb of validation they can find. They think that somehow, kissing up will win them friends and allies.

However, it only does the opposite. It only brings them more bullying and ridicule. It attracts even more users and abusers into their lives.

Seeking Validation:

What else happens when you seek Validation?

1. You lose your freedom and autonomy.

 You stop being yourself and doing what you want to do. Why? Because you become a slave to the thoughts and opinions of others.

In a nutshell, you give away your personal power

2. You lose sight of your goals and aspirations.

 Why? Because you replace them with goals of being liked, approved of, and favored by others.

And there’s no guarantee that they’ll approval of you. You can’t control the thoughts, opinions, actions, or words of other people.

You are the only person in the entire world that you can control. This is why it’s important that you keep your focus on you. You are your only guarantee.

At the end of the day, all you have is you.

3. You stop being creative.

In that, you only become a carbon copy of someone else. You imitate their style, and their way of thinking and doing things.

Moreover, when you do this, your creativity suffers. It’s much better to be original!

4. Seeking Validation:

You copy others.

In other words, you give up the ability to think for yourself. Instead of having opinions of your own, you conform to the opinions and beliefs that are most popular.

You say what others want to hear and do what others want you to do. Also, you do things how they want you to do them. In short, you allow yourself to be programmed and become a robot!

Understand that not everyone will like you or support you. Moreover, not everyone will want the best for you. Some may, in fact, hate you and judge you harshly.

When you seek validation and approval, you only look for others’ permission. This will leave you feeling controlled and imprisoned. Even worse, it’ll also erode your self-esteem.

Each time you engage in approval-seeking behavior, you lose tiny pieces of yourself until you completely forget who you are.

So, how does approval seeking exacerbate bullying? It does so in 5 ways.

5. IT reduces your value.

People are more likely to bully you if they don’t think you have much value. Approval seeking only reduces your value in the eyes of everyone else.

Why? Because it makes you look desperate. When you seek approval, you’ll do self-demeaning things out of desperation.

You’ll crawl behind people who don’t value you. You’ll make yourself too available. And you’ll people-please and put up with crappy treatment.

Therefore, you’ll take away from your own value as a human being.

6. Seeking Validation:

You end up looking pathetic.

Approval seeking behavior isn’t a good look on anyone. When you’re constantly trying to prove your worth to people, you don’t attract them. You only repulse and repel them.

7. People Lose respect For you.

It’s hard to have respect for anyone who has to beg for acceptance. It’s just a part of human nature. No one respects anyone who begs.

However, when you finally come to a place where you don’t care either way, people will naturally gravitate toward you.

8. You attract users and abusers

People who seek validation and approval are more vulnerable to bullying. In fact, if you have low self-esteem and are constantly looking for validation, you will attract human predators.

Why? Because you will be more likely to do anything for approval. Therefore, you’ll be easy to use and abuse.

Now, do you see why looking for validation is such a no no?

9. Seeking Validation:

Others won’t like you, they’ll only pity you.

There’s a difference between pity and empathy. Empathy is more positive. It’s when you feel the person’s pain and wish you could help them.

On the other hand, there’s a degree of arrogance behind pity. When you pity someone, you don’t care about the other person’s pain and have no desire to help them. You’re just glad as hell that you aren’t in their situation.

In fact, you’re probably glad that you aren’t them. Period! And you want to distance yourself from the person and whatever they’re dealing with.

It’s better to be hated than pitied. Why? Because there’s still a degree of dignity in being hated.

So, how do you break this nasty habit?

1. You start by accepting and loving yourself.

This means accepting all parts of yourself- the good, the bad, and the ugly!

2. Count all the qualities of yourself that you’re proud of.

Everyone has great qualities. Find yours, and list them.

3. Seeking Validation:

Ditch and Switch.

Walk away from negative people who make you feel bad about yourself. And don’t look back! Rid yourself of the haters and naysayers.

Replace them with people who love you and who want nothing but your best. Seek people who lift you up and those you feel safe around.

Ditch those who bellyache and blame others for their misfortunes. And switch to happy people who take responsibility for their lives.

No one wants a copy. They want an original!

You might get a lot of push-back at first. Many people become threatened and angry anytime you make positive changes in your life. Moreover, they may give you tons of grief for it.

However, they only do it because they were benefiting from the old you. There were advantages that came with the you who sought approval. And they don’t want to lose the benefits.

We live in a world full of copies. In other words, most people only conform and seek approval themselves. So, it’s only natural that they lash out at you.

Therefore, embrace the push-back. Keep doing what’s right for you and to hell with what others think!

Only you know what’s right for you. No one else does! So, stop seeking validation. Let go of the need for approval.

I guarantee that you’ll be surprised at how it’ll change your life. And you’ll only thank yourself for it later!

This post was all about seeking validation so that you can recognize the behavior in yourself and make the needed changes.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Seeking Approval: 5 Must-Know Reasons It Worsens Bullying

2. Unhealthy Ways to Deal with Bullying: 11 No-No’s to be Aware of

3. How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: 5 Powerful Steps

psychological abuse tactics examples

Psychological Abuse Tactics: 9 Mind Games Seasoned Bullies Use

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‘Want to know the psychological abuse tactics most preferred by seasoned bullies. Here are all the psychological methods of expert bullying you need to know about.

psychological abuse tactics

Psychological abuse isn’t visible to the eyes. Therefore, it’s more difficult to provide evidence of it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the most common psychological abuse tactics bullies use so that you can easily spot it, call it by name and describe it to protect yourself from further bullying.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be better to see it as it happens and defend yourself against it.

This post is all about psychological abuse tactics so that you can avoid it and keep yourself safe from it.

Psychological Abuse Tactics

Seasoned bullies prefer psychological bullying over physical bullying. Why? Because this type of bullying offers easy deniability.

Unlike the physical kind, psychological bullying is less evident to any bystanders and witnesses. It leaves no visible bruises, cuts, or wounds.

In fact, it can be so subtle that even you, the victim, may not realize it’s happening. Therefore, you’ll never be able to prove that anyone ever bullied you.

Moreover, when you finally get fed up with their crap and report them to the higher-ups, it will be easier for the bullies to deny it. Also, if you stand up to the bullies, they’ll be able to play victim and make you look like the bad guy.

What are the mind games these bullies use?

1. Playing the victim.

Bullies will deliberately instigate an altercation. If you defend yourself, they’ll take your defense and twist it to make you look like the bully.

If the bully is female, she may cry those fake tears to garner sympathy. Consequently, if others aren’t wise to her, they’ll fall for her lies and blame you.

2. Psychological Abuse Tactics:

Weaponizing mental health.

Also, they can use your reaction to their abuse to brand you as mentally unstable. With this tactic, bullies can easily destroy your credibility and reputation.

As a result, your relationships will likely suffer. Even worse, your bullies may then retaliate against you by escalating the harassment later.

3. quiet bullying.

Quiet bullying is bullying by dirty looks and using the silent treatment. Moreover, a quiet bully will use exclusion to bully you.

In the workplace, quiet bullying can happen through micro-managing. Also, a quiet workplace bully can assign impossible workloads and deadlines to a targeted employee.

Remember that the most talented bullies are the biggest cowards. Also, they’re the most successful actors and actresses. They have methods of harassment which are well-planned in advance.

4. Subtle Bullying Disguised as concern.

Subtle bullying can also come in the form of glares and the silent treatment. They also use soft smear campaigns.

A soft smear campaign is disguised as concern for your well being. For example, the bully may say something like, “Bless her heart. I’m really concerned about Kathy. I hope she gets the profession help she needs before it’s too late.”

And when you defend yourself against it, the bully can use your reaction as proof that you’re unhinged.

5. Psychological Abuse Tactics:

Subtle bullying disguised as jokes.

Also, subtle bullying can disguise itself as jokes and fun. When you respond to this type of bullying, your bullies will make it look as if you can’t take a joke.

Therefore, understand that these bullies go to great lengths to prevent themselves from being exposed. They’re incredibly crafty. And they commit their attacks ever so slowly and subtly.

Moreover, they will bully undercover and hide behind a veil of superficial charm, fake playfulness, and deceit.

6. Weaponizing their social status.

These type of bullies are often in the popular crowd at school. You’ll also find them in the Good Ole’ Boy clique at work.

These bullies are often able to climb up the social ladder because of their superior social skills.  Also, they have the ability to read people and predict others’ reactions.

To top it off, they have a talent for keeping up appearances.

Therefore, they’re usually well-liked by teachers, school staff, supervisors, managers and CEOs. Also, many of them excel in studies and join clubs or sororities/fraternities at school.

Workplace bullies often make themselves out to be high performers at work. How do they do this? They do it by stealing over people’s ideas and taking credit for their work.

These bullies use their popularity as a shield from accountability. Moreover, their extreme likability adds a lot of weight to their words. This is why they often get away with bullying others.

If you live in a small town, these bullies likely come from families who have powerful local connections. This is all the more reason these people keep up appearances.

Psychological abuse Tactics:

Bullies with social status may use minions to do their dirty work for them.

Understand that these bullies likely have followers. They’re too chicken to get their hands dirty. Therefore, if they want to cause you any physical harm, they will often send one of their sycophants to do it for them.

Moreover, they will often these minions incentives to get the job done. They may offer them money and social status. Or they may offer them special favors.

Afterward, the followers will have served their purpose. Therefore, the bullies will likely discard them like a used piece of toilet paper.

However understand that most of their followers don’t really like them. Most will only kiss and cover their butts to get something from them. They may hope to get a little bit of power and social status.

7. Using their talent with words.

Many of these kinds of harassers are highly skilled wordsmiths. Therefore, they’re convincing liars and have the right answer for everything.

They’re good at rationalizing their behavior and justifying their actions. Moreover, these bullies are good at conjuring up a good story. So, they’re great storytellers. You’d think some of them would’ve chosen a career in writing.

8. Psychological Abuse Tactics:

Using their social skills to bully those who aren’t as fortunate.

Bullies on top of the pecking order will use their superb social skills to take advantage of the mentally disabled. For instance, they may taunt kids with Down’s Syndrome.

They may make fun of students with Cerebral Palsy or Traumatic Brain Injury.  And they’ll push around those with physical ailments, such as Diabetes, heart defects and food allergies.

Even sadder, they may quietly bully people who are paraplegic. However, they won’t be obvious when they bully these people. Why? Because others tend to look down on those who bully those in wheelchairs.

People with weight issues, those with low self-esteem, or those with smaller builds are also fair game to these types of bullies.

Again, psychological bullies are such sniveling cowards. Otherwise, they wouldn’t select such vulnerable people to push around in the first place.

9. Gaslighting

Bullies gaslight you to brainwash you into believing that you’re losing your mind. Gaslighting always starts out subtle. However, it gradually gets more obvious over time.

Understand that the reason bullies gaslight you is to maintain their power over you. They know that once you get beyond their control, you’re likely to talk about their abuse and expose them for the monsters they are. And they can’t have that!

The term, “gaslighting,” comes from the movie, “Gaslight.” The movie is about a married couple. The husband dims the gaslights, then denies it in a way to make his wife think she’s going cuckoo.

This is why gaslighting is one of the most evil types of abuse.

Psychological Abuse tactics:

Understand that these types of bullies are the most cowardly of all.

Why? Because most of the abuse they dish out is strictly psychological. Moreover, they use these kinds of tactics because they’re afraid that someone just might stand up to them.

These bullies just might run up on somebody who will put them in their place. Even worse, they might do it publicly! 

In conclusion:

Sadly, you may have to go to school or work with these types of people. Therefore, there is no way to avoid them or to go no-contact.

 The best you can do is to see through these self-entitled, self-absorbed, and self-satisfied wimps. Also, you must learn their weaknesses so that you can find a way to expose them for the creeps they are.

This requires getting into the minds of these bullies. To properly defend yourself, you must think as they do, even though it’s not a pleasant place to be. And I’ll tell you! The souls of such people can be downright ugly!

However, sometimes it takes getting just as low, just as sneaky and just as nasty as your attacker if you ever want to expose them for what they are. Then, they’re more likely to back the hell off.

The more you know, the more you’’ll prepare and the better you’ll protect yourself from such people.

This post is all about psychological abuse tactics so that you can recognize them and protect yourself against them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Weaponizing Mental Health: 7 Reasons Bullies Label You Mentally Ill

2. Bullying and Gaslighting: 7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims

3. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

The Importance of Confidence

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‘Want to know the importance of confidence and how it can change your life? Here are reasons why you should always have it so that you can stand up to bullies and live a more rewarding life.

the importance of confidence

Confidence is the most important characteristic you can ever have, not only during school to ward off bullies, but all through life. It doesn’t matter how smart you are or how high your grades are.

Moreover, you can have five PhDs and be the smartest person on the face of the earth. But if you don’t have confidence, you will not be able to effectively communicate nor interact with people. Your social/people skills will be lacking and you won’t get anywhere in life.

Therefore, in this post you will learn the importance of confidence and what a difference it makes in your life.

Once you learn all about this important face of life, not only will you have the strength to ward off bullies, but you will also have power you never thought possible. Moreover, you’ll achieve much more in life.

This post is all about the importance of confidence and why you need it more than degrees so that you can keep bullies away and be a winner in the social arena and at life.

The Importance of Confidence

Whether you choose to believe it, the reality is that other people really do have control over whether we succeed or fail in life. In other words, people are the gatekeepers to our success and if you think otherwise, you are only fooling yourself.

For example, you can’t get that high position you want without being selected for the job by another person- the interviewer, who could be the owner of the company, an HR manager, or supervisor.

Moreover, during school, the vast majority of teachers and professors are honest and grade students fairly. Moreover, they usually do it regardless of how they may feel about the individual.

However, it still isn’t unheard of for a student to receive a failing grade solely because the instructor didn’t like them. It does happen, though not often.

Confidence= great people skills= charm= great friends and connections= success!!! Great people skills will always trump smarts, good grades, high marks, and college degrees! Always!

Confidence or Lack of it is something others notice right away.

Confidence, or lack thereof, is something that people notice right away when they meet you for the first time. When you walk into a job interview and meet your interviewer, he is going to notice right away whether you are confident in yourself.

And if you’re not, chances are very unlikely that you will get hired for that esteemed position that you have been coveting. The reason for this is that if you’re not confident in yourself, how then can you expect others to be confident in you?

Therefore, make no mistake about it. Confidence is the number one ingredient in all areas of your life.

The Importance of Confidence:

Confidence is the first trait others look for.

It’s the first trait that potential employers look for in prospective employees. Moreover, it’s the first thing companies and business notice in associates and prospective customers.

Also, every day people look for it in potential friends and dates. Confidence levels are things everyone looks at unless they are so low on confidence themselves that they can’t afford to be the least bit selective.

This is why you must never let a bully take away your confidence. If another person has already taken it away, you must fight like the devil to get it back.

But how do you do this?

You do this by surrounding yourself with people who love you and lift you up. Also, you do it by doing the things you enjoy and are good at.

There are many ways you can regain your confidence. You can display your talents. Taking care of yourself and taking pride in your appearance also boosts confidence levels.

Therefore, do all you can to raise your confidence. only then will you begin to see your worth and add value to yourself.

However, if a bully steals your confidence, they also steal your potential for success and a happy  and productive life. In short, they steal your future.

Bullies are confidence thieves! Therefore, never surrender your confidence to anyone! This brings me to Ralph Waldo Emerson. He said it best when he made this quote:

“If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.”

How right he was!

The Importance of Confidence:

Self-confidence is THE key ingredient that everyone must have to succeed in life.

Why? Because, when you have it,

  • you have better and more fulfilling relationships
  •  you are more successful in school and in your career.
  • You have more dates, friends, are more likely to have a great marriage and raise confident and successful children.

Confidence doesn’t mean perfection

A perfectionist isn’t a confident person and has to work so much harder just to go through life. A perfectionist is insecure with herself and others.

Moreover they focus on themselves than in others and is always worried about what others may think and say about them. This is why they try so hard to be, well, perfect.

A perfectionist is both critical of themselves and others and tends to have strained relationships. Why? Because they have an obsessive need to be right- all the time- about EVERYTHING!

They think they must be perfect for others to like them and covertly seek validation from others rather than looking within themselves for it. And the outcome is usually adverse.

On the other hand, a confident person realizes that no one is perfect and that they will make mistakes. When they do make a mistake, they don’t make a big deal about it and beat themselves up.

Sure, a confident person may be disappointed for a short while but they always get over it very quickly and bounce back.

The Importance of Confidence:

A Confident person vs a Perfectionist

A confident person may even have a few people who do not like her. But confidence brings resilience and she doesn’t concern herself with how others perceive her.

Why? Because she knows that she is awesome and that there are plenty of others who DO love her.

A confident person is a “proud to be me” kind of individual. She always takes care of herself and the people she loves.

Moreover, she surrounds herself with positive and uplifting people who love her. Therefore, she steers clear of the negative people who want to bring her down.

In short, a confident person sees beauty where a perfectionist only sees flaws. She sees opportunity where a perfectionist sees strife and hard luck.

There’s no benefit to being a perfectionist. You only end up working too hard to meet standards that are more than likely impossible to meet.

So, you end up spinning your wheels and getting nowhere. Also, you end up failing miserably and in the process, looking like a try-hard.

Confidence, on the other hand, is FREEING and it allows you to be you without fear.

It also brings patience, faith, and positive self-awareness. Instead of spinning your wheels, you move slowly, steadily, and PATIENTLY toward your goals. Moreover, you do it step by step, until you eventually reach them, thus, reaching success!

The Importance of Confidence:

Even the most confident have their moments

Even if you’re confident, you’ll still have moments and days when you don’t feel so confident. Moreover, there will be times when you’ll feel a tad insecure and nervous.

Only you’ll refuse to give in to it. Instead, you’ll give yourself psychological pep talks to make the insecurity go away, then face the fear head-on.

So, know that everyone has those days. And when it happens to you, don’t toil over it. Accept it as a part of being human. Also, when insecurity does rear its ugly head, either use your mind to lessen the feelings or make them go away.

You’re confident but not arrogant. You know where your talents are.

Moreover, you know all of your good qualities and bad, and you know who you are and what you want. However, you also know your limitations.

If you don’t like something, you take steps to change it. On the other hand, if you can’t change it, you find ways to embrace it.

Therefore, if you are a happy and confident person, there will be days when things go wrong, and days when you just aren’t feeling it.

So, I hope you remember that just because you are having a day when you don’t feel so good, it does not mean that you are not a strong, resilient, and confident person.

It just means that you are human, and just like everyone else, you will have down times and bad times. Just keep the faith because those times never last.

The Importance of Confidence:

guard your confidence and self-esteem as you would your life!

When you begin to love yourself, flaws, quirks and all, things begin to change…and for the better. You’ll be at peace and comfortable in your own skin.

Everywhere you look there will be opportunity. Moreover, everywhere you look, you’ll see beauty…because you’ll be looking for it.

And when you look for something, you usually find it.

Therefore, take steps to raise your confidence levels, even if you must recite positive affirmations to yourself every day. Accept your quirks and flaws.

Allow yourself to make mistakes. Most importantly, accept that there will be bullies, haters, and naysayers who will always have something to say and be okay with it.

In a nutshell, be yourself and do your thing. Only then will you be truly at peace.

This post was all about the importance of confidence so that you can take steps to protect it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

2. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

3. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

4. How to Overcome Self Doubt: 7 Easy Mind Hacks to Achieve Success

5. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

bullying and personal responsibility at work

Bullying and Personal Responsibility: 3 Reasons to be Responsible for Your Own Safety

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‘Want to know about bullying and personal responsibility and why you should take responsibility for your own safety? Here are all the reasons you must know about.

bullying and personal responsibility

Bullying and personal responsibility go hand in hand when victims and targets defend themselves against bullying. Why? Because they’re taking responsibility for their safety.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying and personal responsibility and why you should take responsibility for your own safety instead of relying too much on someone coming to rescue you.

Once you learn all these important facts, you will feel free to stand up to bullies on your own if you’ve reported bullying and been ignored.

This post is all about bullying and personal responsibility so that you can stop depending on people in authority who refuse to help you and take control of the situation.

Bullying and Personal Responsibility

If you’re a target of bullying, you have every right to be angry. Your bullies have slowly, over time, stolen your life from you.

Moreover, they have brainwashed you into believing that you aren’t worthy of respect, love, or friendship. Moreover, they’ve sabotaged your ability to get a date and of having happiness and success.

In essence, they have psychologically and maybe even physically bludgeoned you. They may have even taken away your opportunities by the lies and rumors they spread to keep you down.

Bullies not only sabotage you relationships, they also wreak havoc on your opportunities and life-chances. They turn everyone against you. Moreover, these are people who would otherwise be good friends and associates.

Your bullies have sucked the life out of you. As a result, you’ve become a shell of your former self. All because your bullies have held you emotionally hostage for so many years

You’ve tried many time to report the bullying. However, most of the people who have the power to help you refuse to listen to you.

These people could be your teachers, principal, supervisor, or your HR manager. Whoever they are, they don’t want to help you. Or worse, they may have sided with the bullies and blamed you.

Therefore, isn’t it time that you got pissed and took your life back? Of course it is! However, you must use the anger constructively.

You see? Bullies are waiting for you to screw up. They know that sometimes, it’s too easy to do or say something out of emotion. And it can get you into a ton of trouble.

That’s what your bullies are looking for. Therefore, they push your buttons in hopes that you will react by doing/saying something foolish. Don’t give them that satisfaction.

Bullying and Personal Responsibility:

1. No one else is coming to rescue you. Your safety is on you.

Life is but a vapor and we only get one chance in this world. Therefore, it’s your responsibility to make that chance count.

If bullies make a derogatory statement to you. It’s up to you to counter that statement. Therefore, start today by countering every negative statement your bullies may throw at you.

Tell yourself that you are awesome. Also, tell yourself that you’re a trooper and you deserve much better than the shit people have been giving you.

Become a force to be reckoned with. Stand up and let these confidence thieves know that they have no control over your life and they no longer have an effect on you. Reclaim your power and do it NOW!

If you’re a victim of bullying, can you truly and totally rely on people in authority to help you? Can you rely on them to do something about the bullying you suffer?

Moreover, can you depend on them to hold your bullies accountable for their horrible behavior? Can you rely on others to bring you justice?

The answer is a resounding NO!

2. You cannot legislate bullying out of Bullies.

In other words, you cannot pass laws against it and think that it will go away. Passing laws against bullying will get a lot of innocent victims of it in trouble.

I used to be all about laws against bullying. And yes, the idea sounds great. I won’t pretend it doesn’t.

However, I’m beginning to gravitate away from making bullying a crime. Why? Because most people aren’t going to protect targets until it happens to them or one of theirs.

Bullying and Personal Responsibility:

3. Anti-Bullying policies aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on.

You cannot rely too much on policies. Why? Because they have no teeth!

Schools and workplaces, can write all the anti-bullying rules and policies they want. But, until they enforce those policies, they’re only as cheap as the ink and paper administrators use to make them.

In other words, what good are laws and policies if these entities don’t enforce them? And, at what point do we stop relying on the system to protect us and begin protecting ourselves?

Understand that, no matter what anyone says, you don’t have to put up with anyone else’s crap. Therefore, it’s up to you to stand up to bullies and do it properly.

And if defending yourself doesn’t work, you have the option to remove yourself from the situation and environment.

We Must Learn to Take Care of Ourselves

Here’s another reason I’m gravitating away from making bullying a crime. It’s because most seasoned bullies have ways of making innocent targets look like the bullies.

Therefore, if lawmakers make bullying an imprison-able crime, many innocent targets would end up behind bars. Because, again, bullies, especially those with NPD, have a flare for flipping the script and, very convincingly, painting their victim as the bad guy.

Too many targets have been conditioned to think that self-defense is wrong. It isn’t!

And the people who condition these victims are often bullies themselves. Therefore, if bullies target you for bullying, you must know your enemies. You must do a lot of study and research on bullies, then use the knowledge you gain to outmaneuver them.

Bullying and Personal Responsibility:

Do Your Own Investigation

Also, you must do your own investigation and gather your own evidence. That means detailed documentation.

Moreover, you may need to use the last resort and bust the bully in the mouth if all else fails and the bully tries to physically attack you. It’s the only way you can effectively defend yourself.

Remember! Most school officials, parents and even law enforcement don’t realize the daily horrors that victims endure.

Moreover, bullies are slick! They are experts at deceiving authority and making their victims looks like the guilty party.

It takes more than simply reporting incidences of bullying to school staff and authorities. Why? Because in most cases, people in power will only rebuff or blame you for the torment.

These are only a few reasons why it is so important that you keep a daily journal if you are ever targeted by bullies.

You Must Document Every Bullying Incident in Detail.

In other words, keep a daily journal and write down what happened in full detail. Moreover, when you write about it, use the 5W Method.

Bullying and Personal Responsibility:

What is the 5W Method?

When you use the 5W Method, you record what, who, when, where, and why. Sometimes, you must also record how it happened. The trick is to write down every detail you can.

Using the 5W Method helps you do that.

1. What

Write down what happened… in detail. Describe the attack exactly as it happened. Also, do it while it’s still fresh in your memory.

2. Who

Write down the names of the bullies – the people involved in the attack. Moreover, record the names of any bystanders and witnesses. These people will be anyone who is present when your bullies attack you.

3. When

Jot down the exact time, date when the provocation occurred.

4. Where

Write down the place the altercation occurred. For example, if the bullying attack happened at school, did it happen in the bathroom?

If so, write down that you were in the bathroom when it happened.

5. Why

If your bully attacked you because you reported a prior bullying incident, write that down. This is super important!

6. If need be, write down how it happened.

The more details you can give, the better!

Bullying and Personal Responsibility:

Record every Bullying incident, no matter how subtle.

Do this with every incident that takes place. Leave nothing out! Even if the attacks are seen as minor, such as snickering when you you walk in the room, you must still record it in your journal.

I can’t stress this enough- keep very detailed records of any taunts, threats and altercations no matter how small they may seem.

Journals are the best way for victims to protect themselves. Also, they’re admissible in court. Therefore, you’ll have a record to present to a judge if you need to take legal action.

When I was in school, I kept a journal of the bullying I suffered and I still have some of the material today. In fact, it helped me to write my book, “From Victim to Victor” and tell the story of how I was bullied by my classmates.

Keep your Bullying Journal Private.

This is a must! Bullies are notorious for snooping through their victim’s belongings. Also, they’ll destroy your property. Therefore, keep your journal at home and write in it as soon as you get home.

 This should go without saying, you certainly wouldn’t want the wrong people to find it. Because, if they do, your bullies will destroy your evidence. Also, they will retaliate against you for having it in the first place.

Again, keep it at home!

Wear a Body Camera or Keep a Digital Recorder on you and record the bullying.

If the laws in your state allow, record the bullying in real time. Body cameras are best but if you only have a digital audio recorder, you can use it.

However, I would suggest that you check the laws of your state first. If you live in a one-party consent state, you’re free to record.

However, if you live in a two-party consent state. Don’t do it. If you do, your bullies and your school or company can come back and sue you for violation of privacy laws.

Bullying and Personal Responsibility:

Save any mean or threatening emails, Texts, social media posts, comments, or private messages on three or more different thumb Drives.

If bullies bully you at school or work, there’s a good chance they’ll stalk your social media pages, get your email address, and bully you online too.

Therefore, save everything on three or more different flash drives. Then, keep each flash drive in different places. The trick is to take precautions in case someone connected to your bullies breaks into your house to do a little snooping around.

This doesn’t happen often. However, it has happened and you want to take precautions.

In Conclusion

You are responsible for your safety. When you suffer bullying, it’s up to you to do your own investigation and gather your own evidence.

The last thing you should do is depend on anyone else. Report the bullying, yes. However, if the school or company doesn’t do anything about it. Then, you must do what you have to do to build your own case.

This post is all about bullying and personal responsibility so that you’ll know exactly what to do if you ever encounter bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Self-Preservation Instinct: Defending Yourself from Bullies is Okay!

2. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

3. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

Confident Body Language: 11 Ways to Look Confident

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‘Want to know all about confident body language and all the ways you can look confident even if you don’t necessarily feel confident? Here are all the tips and tricks you need to know about.

confident body language

Confidence looks great on anybody! Even you! Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about confident body language and ways to look like you just won a million bucks!

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will not only look but feel better! Moreover, your magnetism will skyrocket!

This post is all about confident body language and ways to look confident so that you not only give your self-esteem a boost but your charisma too. And the best part is that you’ll less likely look like bully-bait!

Confident Body Language

The look of confidence can be the difference between being badass or being bullied. But before we talk about body language that make you look confident, let’s talk about the body language you should avoid.

5 Body Language Mistakes You Should Avoid

Bullies are always on the hunt for targets. Therefore, they look for signs in a potential target that screams “victim.” But, how do they do this?

Bullies will study your body language first and foremost. They also notice your emotional reactions to certain things.

In other words, they watch how you handle conflict and adversity. Here are all the negative body language moves and ways to correct them.

1. Lack of Eye-contact (Looking down or away)

Lack of eye-contact signals either dishonesty, or a lack of confidence. This is exactly what bullies look for.

Many victims of bullying get nervous in social situations. This is understandable.

When people have bullied you for long enough, you no longer feel safe in social interactions. Therefore, you’ll often avoid them altogether.

A little nervousness is normal. However, when you’re nervous to the point of avoiding eye-contact with others, bullies may notice.

As a result, they’ll peg you as a victim. Also, even people who aren’t necessarily bullies may mistake you for being deceptive.

Therefore, the best thing to do is to relax and look others in the eye when socializing. Realize that not everything is about you.

Make the interaction about the other person or people in the conversation. Smile. Act confident.

Yes, acting confident may seem fake. However, personal experience has taught me that if you act confident, you will soon feel confident.

And confidence is the best way to get through any social situation. Also, it lessens your chances of attracting bullies.

2. What isn’t Confident Body Language:

submissive body language

This includes poor posture, such as slouching and hunching down. Also, people-pleasing is another form of submission.

Behaviors such as shying away from saying what you want to say and not seeking to achieve your needs are forms of people-pleasing.

You must stop this behavior right now. Begin standing and sitting up straight. Stop trying to please other people. Instead, start achieving your own needs for a change.

Remember that you deserve, just as much as the next person, to have your needs and wants met. Therefore, start working toward your own goals. And to hell with the rest of them if they don’t like it.

3. self-protective behaviors (closed body-language)

Crossing of the arms in front of you and crossing your legs are both self-protective behaviors. So are hunkering down into the shoulders and hiding the neck.

Bullies will instantly notice this behavior from a mile away and think, “fresh meat!” when they see it.

Instead, open up and allow yourself to take up some space. Lengthen your neck and hold your head high. Relax. Always relax!

4. What isn’t Confident Body Language:

Having a Sheepish Look On Your Face

That includes downcast eyes, holding your head down, and looking bashful. Again, hold your head high.

Look people in the eye and smile. I guarantee you they will appreciate it when you do and think more highly of you.

5. trying to stay motionless to avoid drawing attention

This almost always gets you opposite results. Staying motionless won’t keep you from drawing attention. It just might get you the wrong attention- from bullies.

Therefore, you must move freely and I’m going to say it again… relax!

You must watch your body language if you don’t want bullies to spot you as a potential target. In fact, it’s the most important thing you can do.

If you catch yourself looking down, correct this by looking people in the eye or looking ahead. If it’s slouching you find yourself doing, sit up straight.

And keep doing this until it becomes second nature, no matter how long it takes. Why? Because body language speaks louder than words ever will.

Moreover, not only should you mind your own body language, you should also watch the bullies’ nonverbal cues as well.

11 Confident Body Language Cues

Close to ninety percent of our language is nonverbal. All too often, when bullies have attacked you for an extended period, your self-esteem and mental health suffer.

Even worse, people will see it in your everyday body language. You won’t realize it’s happening.

Consequently, most targets only attract more bullies and bullying. Why? Because their body language changes with time as they endure daily abuse.

In other words, the victim’s body language will transform from confident to diffident– meaning lack of confidence. This is the reason most victims have very few friends.

Why do most targets of bullying have difficulty making friends?

This is because, others can spot insecurity a mile away. And it makes it difficult to attract healthy people into your life.

You’ll only attract users and more abusers. Why? Because, human nature dictates that healthy people stay away from those who have low self-esteem.

If you aren’t confident, you’ll attract predators. And these people will only pretend to be your friends to exert control over your life and get something from you.

Moreover, nonverbal signals, such as lack of eye contact, looking down, fake smiles and closed body language make you appear unapproachable.

Confident Body Language:

It’s not your fault.

Naturally, this is not your fault. It is just something that happens after you’ve endured abuse for so long. However, here’s the good news!

Confident body language is something that you can learn. Moreover, it’s something you can teach yourself and practice.

And once you perfect it, you will instantly attract faithful friends and better people into your life. Also, you’ll begin to repel bullies and other human predators.

Here are 11 powerful tricks you can use to Look Confident and instantly win friends.

1. Smile! And smile genuinely!

Smiling at people shows that you approve of them. Also, it shows that you’re open to friendships.

Moreover, it conveys confidence and confidence is where it’s at! On the other hand, a fake smile is easy to spot and a major turn-off.

It only repels people and invites more bullying. Fake smiles only hurt more than they help.

2. Make good eye contact.

When you make good eye contact, you show others that you are genuinely interested in them. It also shows respect.

People love those who take an interest in them. Therefore, when you’re engaged in conversation with someone, look them in the eye.

Just don’t overdo it or you’ll seem creepy. Just find that happy middle.

3. Confident Body Language:

Stand up straight.

Bad posture, such as slouching and hunching, only conveys insecurity and low self-esteem. So, stand up straight and walk with purpose.

Also, throw in a few power poses when you stand. Feet should be shoulder-width apart, with your hands on your hips with your thumbs on the front of your waist.

This also signals confidence. Again, confidence keeps bullies away. When a bully sees someone do this, they think twice before messing with the person. Why? Because their body language is signaling confidence and, more importantly, power!

And if there’s one thing bullies understand, it is power!

4. Practice open body language.

This will instantly make you more approachable. Put simpler, open body language means facing the people you talk to and keeping your whole body turned toward the person you’re speaking to.

Also, look them in the eye when. When you do all this combined, you’re signaling that you’re interested in what the other person has to say.

5. Slightly lean in when you talk to someone.

Again, this shows that you are fully engaged and interested in what the other person is saying. However, only do it slightly to avoid invading your interlocutor’s personal space.

Make sure to do this properly and you will build rapport with the people you speak to. Also, they will be more likely to trust you.

6. Confident Body Language:

Nod when you agree with the person you’re talking to.

Nodding not only shows that you are listening and fully engaged. Also, it conveys understanding and agreement.

Therefore, it’s a very powerful form of communication and often gets amazing social results!

7. Use hand gestures when you speak.

Using hand gestures can help you to think and express your thoughts and feelings more clearly. Moreover, it conveys understanding, energy and warmness.

8. Relax.

If you want people to feel at ease around you, relax when you’re having a conversation with them. There is nothing worse than talking to someone who seems nervous and tense.

Not only does it weird people out, it sends the message that you might be trying to hide something!

Therefore, always relax around others. Having relaxed body language conveys that you’re comfortable and confident with yourself.

Moreover, it shows that you’re confident about them too. It signals trust. Therefore, others will be comfortable and confident with you.

9. Confident Body Language:

Hold your head up.

Holding your head down or looking down conveys low self-esteem and lack of confidence. Therefore, always hold your head high. Doing this says confidence and others notice.

Look like you feel good about yourself and your attitude will soon align with it.

10. Be aware of where your toes are pointed.

If you’re in a conversation with someone and your toes aren’t pointed toward them, it only conveys that you want to go elsewhere. In other words, it says that you don’t want to be with the person.

Now, some people don’t think about the feet. However, those who are the most aware of body language cues will.

Therefore, always stand with your feet and toes pointed toward the person you’re talking to. It signals that you want to move toward them – that you’re happy to see them and speak with them.

11. Make sure your body language is congruent with your words.

This is so important! If you’re saying one thing and your body language doesn’t match, you will come off to others as insincere.

As a result, they won’t take you seriously and will be repelled by you. Nobody likes fake. So, more than anything else, be sure that your nonverbal cues are in line with your verbal ones.

This post was all about confident body language so that you can not only keep bullies away but attract healthy people and friendships.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

2. Confidence vs Arrogance

3. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

confronting bullying at school

Confronting Bullying: 4 Things Bullies Do When You Speak Out

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‘Want to know about confronting bullying and the blow back you’ll likely get so that you can be encouraged to stay strong and keep speaking out and defending yourself? Here are all the ways bullies retaliate when you confront their bullying head-on.

confronting bullying

Confronting bullying isn’t easy by any means. Bullies can be intimidating and you may balk at standing up for yourself because you don’t know what the bullies might do. However, bullies are just as humanly vulnerable as you. They just won’t tell you.

This is why you must defend yourself no matter what your bullies may say or do to retaliate. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about what comes with confronting bullying so that you will be prepared.

Once you know all about this life-changing information, you will be compelled to keep your wits about you and confront bullying no matter how intimidating the bullies are.

Confronting Bullying

Confronting bullying can be one of the scariest things to do. However, if you want to ensure your safety later, it’s something you must do.

You know bullying when you feel it.

One of the saddest things about bullying is the confusion it often brings. Bullies and others will often confuse and mislead you. They will tell you that no one is bullying you. Maybe they’ll accuse you of having paranoia.

When you defend yourself against a bully, others may gaslight you by either trivializing or dismissing what you just experienced. They may tell you, “it’s only in your mind” or accuse you of being too sensitive.

If you’re not careful, they may even convince you of it! This will only force you to endure the torment in silence. Bullying feeds on silence.

Bullying Cannot Thrive Without Silence

Therefore, people will let the bully off the hook. Even worse, they’ll be free to target you again in the future. The bully gets the message that it’s okay to target you.

So, they’ll bully you simply because they can. And they do it with impunity.

After so long, you’ll begin  to feel as if it is somehow wrong to report and stand up to bullies. You’ll then question your own sanity, thinking, “Maybe it really is only in my mind.”

Moreover, you’ll grow silent for fear of being gaslighted and seen as “having paranoia,” “unhinged” or “overly sensitive.”

However, know that these labels mean to undermine and steal your voice.

Confronting Bullying:

It’s Not Only In Your Mind.

If you’re a target of these mind games, let me assure you: It’s NOT only in your imagination. You are not being overly sensitive. You are not being a wimp, wuss, crybaby or whatever else unsavory people may call you.

Therefore, always remember that bullies are very skilled and convincing liars. You always know when something does not feel good. Your brain and your gut always let you know when something isn’t right!

You can sense it. Moreover, you can see it in the way certain people cut their eyes at you.

You can see and hear them talking through their teeth. Also, you can hear the short and cold tone in their voices.

You can feel, deep down in your gut, the nasty vibes they exude. This is why you should always listen to your gut feeling because it is never wrong. Eighty-six those people, pronto!

Anyone who causes you to feel bad does not deserve the time of day from you.

It does not matter if they are rich, smart, good looking, popular, successful, cool or tough. If they cause you to feel less than, ditch them! Weed. Them. Out!

Why? Because they aren’t worthy of even being in your presence. Never allow anyone to violate your boundaries, whether physical or psychological. Also, never allow anyone to silence you. Speak out! Refuse their gaslighting.

Self awareness is key, as is awareness of everyone and everything around you. Also, setting boundaries is equally important. You must get to know yourself. Listen to your body and the sensations you feel.

It is imperative that you get absolutely clear on what you will and will not accept. Only then will you be able to tell the difference and send your bullies packing.

Confronting Bullying:

Don’t be afraid of your bullies’ reactions to your speaking out.

When you begin speaking out about your bullies and their abusive behavior, you put them on high alert. In other words, you put them in defense mode.

This is when they’ll do one, some, or all of four things.

1. Lash out at you.

This is, perhaps, the most revealing. Many bullies and abusers will go into a tirade. In other words, they’ll scream and yell at you. They’ll curse you out and call you the ugliest names- everything but a child of God.

I know it’s difficult but don’t panic and don’t be afraid.

See it for what it is. You just forced them to reveal their true colors. Any time your bullies get outraged and attack you , that’s when you know you’ve busted them.

Again, you’ve forced them to out themselves! Yay for you!

2. Deny their abuse, and sometimes to your face.

Lots of times, bullies and abusers may confront you either calmly or aggressively. They’ll swear up and down they never bullied or mistreated you.

They may even throw out subtle hints that you must’ve misinterpreted them. They’ll claim that you “have everything misconstrued.”

Again, no matter how calmly or subtly they do it, this is gaslighting. Moreover, it speaks volumes about their character.

3. Confronting Bullying:

Defame you.

The second you call out their abuse, is the second bullies lose control over you. If these people can no longer control you, they will control your image in the eyes of others. Therefore, they’ll tell everyone who will listen what a lying, lowdown piece of garbage you are.

However, don’t let it phase you. Realize that they’re panicking and in a mad rush to do some damage control.

They’re afraid that word about their true nature just might get around and cause them to lose face. The last thing bullies want is for you to expose them.

Most of the time, your bullies will tell others that you’re experiencing some sort of mental episode. This is the classic reaction of abusers. They always attack your mental health.

Again, they’re only revealing their true colors. Why? Because if you weren’t telling the truth, they wouldn’t care. Therefore, they wouldn’t react so desperately.

See this as an admission of guilt.

4. Avoid you.

These types won’t bother you. Instead, they’ll avoid you like the plague because they’re scared.

However, this is the best outcome. If they’re avoiding you, you don’t have to worry about them bullying you again.

Why? Because they know they’ve been found out and that word of their abuse is already very quickly circulating.

So, the last thing they want is to do anything that will make them look guilty. They fear their reputations are already on shaky ground.

These people are cowards, yes. However, they’re making the smartest move by simply staying away from you. They’ll even avoid mentioning your name.

Be advised that not all people who avoid you will stay away from you for long. They may avoid you long enough to defame you to others.

Or, they just might secretly plot revenge against you for daring to open your mouth. Different bullies and abusers react in different ways. They may use one or all of the above measures to discredit you.

Confronting Bullying:

Bullies count on you staying quiet about their abuse.

You must realize that bullies and abusers, even former bullies, count on your silence. In fact, they detest, or more appropriately, fear being exposed.

Exposure is the worst thing that could happen to them. Why? Because they risk losing respect in the community. The last thing they want is for other people to see them for the monsters they are.

Bullies make everything about appearances. Therefore, when you will back the curtain, you make liars and hypocrites out of them.

So, naturally, they’re going to either attack you, avoid you, or both. They may make the following statements.

  • “Well, we were just kids then.”
  • “But that’s all water under the bridge.”
  • “Just let bygones be bygones.”
  • ”Just let sleeping dogs lie.”

They may tell you to “get over it.” Also, they may accuse you of bringing up old stuff. Understand that any time people make these statements, their main goal is to shut you up.

However, your bullies have other objectives as well:

  • Bullies say these things to minimize their past brutality and the impact it all had on you
  • Also, they want to make you look like a whiner who just can’t “let the past go.”
  • And, to cover their backsides and minimize any dents to their reputations or any backlash they might receive.

Therefore, don’t be afraid. Instead, see through it all and let them launch their personal attacks.

Before I close, I’d like to make another huge point. When you speak out about the abuse, you force your bullies to explain themselves.

Anyone who must explain and justify themselves is never in a powerful position.

So, in forcing your bullies to explain themselves you instantly snatch them out of their position of power. You move them into a position of vulnerability.

In other words, you automatically turn the tables and leave the bullies in a very helpless and subordinate place. In short, you strip them of power. Ouch!

Confronting Bullying:

Power doesn’t explain itself.

In forcing the bully to explain their past or present behavior, you instantly remove their power. And their perceived authority disappears with it.

Why? Because neither power nor authority explains itself. It doesn’t have to.

Hence the reason bullies despise even the thought of having to give explanations. It puts them in a weak and subordinate position.

No wonder bullies get nuts when you out them!

This post is all about confronting bullying and everything that comes with it so that you can gather the courage to take back your personal power.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

2. Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up

3. Speaking Up About Bullying: Be Prepared for These 8 Responses

4. What Does Victim Blaming Look Like? 9 Easy Signs to Watch for

5. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

bullying and gaslighting at work

Bullying and Gaslighting: 7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims

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‘Want to know about bullying and gaslighting and the different ways bullies may gaslight you? Here are all the important things you need to know.

bullying and gaslighting

Bullying is bad enough. However, when you top it off with gaslighting, it only victimizes you over and over again. You don’t have to put up with it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying and gaslighting and seven most common ways bullies gaslight you so that you can use these gaslighting phrases and tactics to protect yourself.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be a warrior against any gaslighting some creep tries with you.

This post is all about bullying and gaslighting. It gives you the seven most common ways bullies gaslight you so that you can successfully push back against it and save your self-esteem from being torn to shreds.

Bullying and Gaslighting

Before we get into the different ways bullies gaslight you, let’s first discuss exactly what bullies do when they gaslight you. So, what is the definition of gaslight?

Gaslight- to psychologically manipulate someone into doubting their own perception of reality.

Remember that bullying is all about domination and control. Once the bully selects you as their intended target, they will start out subtly. Then, they will slowly increase the severity of their abuse.

Moreover, they will do everything possible to maintain that power. And how they maintain power is to gaslight you, once you begin defending yourself.

Understand that bullies get a huge psychological payoff at your expense. Abusing you gives them that psychological reward.

And that reward is the rush of power and a sense of authority and control they get at your expense.

Psychological Rewards of Bullying.

We just mentioned some of the rewards – power, control, dominance, and a sense of authority. However, what are other psychological rewards bullies get from bullying you?

When bullies bully you, others also reward them with attention, high social status and promotions.

 Therefore, again, bullies will fight like the devil to keep those benefits. Moreover, if you speak out and shed light on their behavior, that’s when the gaslighting begins.

Bullying and Gaslighting:

How Gaslighting Starts

When you begin noticing that your bullies are abusing you, you’ll likely report it. Moreover, you’re also likely to begin standing up to them.

And once you start rocking the boat, your bullies will become angry and afraid. Why? Because you become a threat to their power.

Therefore, the bullies only increase the abuse to subdue you. But that’s not all. Your bullies also want to punish you.

Seasoned bullies maintain power by psychological and emotional abuse. This involves, gaslighting. However, it also includes brainwashing to dis-empower you.

Realize that they use these methods because this type of bullying leaves no visible evidence. Therefore, it’s much easier for them to deny it.

7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims

1. Persistent lying

Bullies tell vague lies, trying to make you believe that you that you are defective somehow. Also, they may try to convince you that you deserve the mistreatment.

I say, vague lies because, if you notice, they never tell you what your defect is. They also never tell you exactly what you did to deserve the abuse.

Moreover, bullies will spread lies about you to other people. They may tell them,

  • “He’s a waste of space, and he needs to realize it already!”
  • “She’s such an embarrassment! How does she even show her face in public every day?”
  • “She brought it all on herself!”

However, they’ll never, ever elaborate on any of those statements. And they won’t have to. Why? Because the people who hear these things will fill in the blanks.

They will most likely assume that you must have done something to deserve the abuse. Because, why would this person say such terrible things about you if you didn’t have it coming?

Bullying and Gaslighting:

What Your Bullies Will Say to You

  • “What are you smiling about? Nobody likes you! Remember?”
  • “I’m not bullying you! You’re just over-reacting!”
  • “You’re just being (overly sensitive, a crybaby, etc.)! You need help!”
  • “Nobody’s mistreating you! You’re just playing the victim to look innocent to everyone else!
  • “You think you’re (smart, pretty, cute, tough, cool, etc.), don’t’ you! You’re nothing!”
  • “You’re so (arrogant, ugly, etc.)!”
  • “Nobody will ever believe a word you say!”

I could go on and on.

Understand that bullies deliberately repeat these lies to convince you that they’re right. Moreover, they repeat these lies for weeks, months, even years.

However, the constant repetition has a purpose! And that is to brainwash you and turn you against yourself. If your bullies get get you to see yourself through their eyes, then they can get everyone else to as well.

In other words, if you start to believe the bully’s lies, others will too.

As a result, you become riddled with confusion. Also, you may develop social anxiety and shame. Eventually, you’ll lose the ability to counter the attacks

You must realize that this is all a strategy. And it’s designed to keep you under their control and from rebelling against the abuse.

2. Bullying and Gaslighting:

Wearing you down and forcing you to agree with them.

Bullies continue to bully you. In fact, they intensify the bullying.  But, understand that they do this for a reason.

And that reason is to wear you down until you’re is so tired of having to fight. Standing up for yourself takes a lot of energy. It puts you in survival mode.

Being in survival mode for a long time only tires you out. It depletes you of energy. This is how your bullies weaken you and take the fight out of you.

If you aren’t careful, you’ll grow so tired you’ll likely give up. And once you give up, your bullies have you right where they want you.

As a result, you’ll shut down, grow numb to the abuse and surrender to the bullies.

3. Becoming Highly Aggressive When you Call Out the Abuse

Bullies may try to maintain power by become extremely aggressive. Understand that this is designed to make you afraid. If they can subdue you with fear, then you’re least likely to keep standing your ground.

Moreover, your bullies can continue to subjugate you and keep you quiet. It also allows them to escape accountability and clear the way for future attacks.

4. Bullying and Gaslighting:

Blaming and Shaming You

Bullies blame you to take the guilt away from themselves. Moreover, when you speak out about their abuse, they will shame you for opening your mouth.

They may call you a crybaby, a wuss, a whiner, or a tattle tale. However, whatever they call you, bullies do it to shame you into silence.

5. Isolating You (Divide and Conquer)

Bullies will try to isolate you through social aggression. They’ll spread rumors and lies about you. Also they may threaten and intimidate your friends and associates for having anything to do with you.

Understand that bullies pull this tactic to get your friends to stop talking to you. If they can impose a high penalty on your friends for associating with you, the more likely they are to turn their backs on you.

If they can do this, then they can cut you off from any support or protection you may otherwise receive.

Then, once you’re isolated, the bullies then move in for the kill and take the abuse to new heights.

But wait! Here’s another thing bullies may do.

If you express a desire to leave the environment (change schools or workplaces), the bullies may try to discourage you from leaving. Moreover, they’ll do it by convincing you that you won’t be treated any better anywhere else.

They may even try to block your transfer to cut off any means of escape.

6. Bullying and Gaslighting:

Trying to convince you that you need their approval to get along.

Bullies make themselves out to be superior. They’ll try to make you believe that you somehow need their approval. If bullies can make you depend on their permission, their power and control only increase.

Bullies do this by convincing you that they are the only ones who can better your situation. In other words, they want you to believe that only with their say so will you be able to make friends and enjoy positive relationships!

In that, they make you believe that you can’t find happiness and fulfillment unless they approve.

And they will tie conditions to that approval. In other words, the bullies will make you think you must submit to their every whim to get any approval.

And they will try to make you do things you don’t want to do, no matter how demeaning. However, understand that bullies don’t honor deals! Ever!

Therefore, they will never leave you alone! And they will never give you their seal of approval. You must realize that all this is only another ploy to assert domination!

7. Making Empty Promises

Bullies will make all kinds of empty promises to get you to submit to their wishes. However, bullies never keep promises.

  • “If you do this, I’ll go away quietly and leave you alone.”
  • “Do that for me and I’ll be your friend.”
  • “If you’d only do XYZ, I’ll make things easier for you.”

Don’t you believe any of it!

You must understand that you can never appease a bully. You might for the time being. However, They will always come back for more later.

Bullies will never go away. They only make empty promises to keep you under their control. Understand that bullies have an insatiable appetite for power.

Bullies are like bottomless pits. No matter what you do to please them, they’ll only continue the torment. Therefore, you must realize that no amount of abuse is ever enough for a bully.

Remember that bullies are addicted to power. Bullying is the only way they can get that power. Therefore, abusing you is like a drug to them and they can never get enough!

Bullying and Gaslighting:

So, How Do You Stop Bullies from Bullying You?

1. Keep standing up to them. Don’t back down!

Once you begin defending yourself against bullies, expect it to get worse before it gets better. Realize that when you start standing up for yourself, you will get a ton of resistance at first.

However, you must stay consistent! Don’t give up! Don’t give in! Consistency is key here!

The more they try to take you down, the more you push back until your bullies decide that you’re too much to handle. Then, once they get the message that messing with you comes at too great a cost, they’ll leave you alone and go find another victim.

This post is all about bullying and gaslighting so that you’ll know what to expect and continue standing up to bullies until they finally leave you alone for good!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs Someone is Gaslighting You: The 13 Must-Know Symptoms

2. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

3. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

4. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

5. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of