How to Develop Charisma: A Powerful Weapon Against Bullies

June 14, 2025June 8, 20259 Comments

‘Want to know how to develop charisma so that you can use it as a weapon against bullies? Here are all the tips you need to know about.

Some people seem to be born with charisma and come by it naturally. But sadly, others must learn it.

Moreover, learning charisma may not totally eliminate your chances of falling victim to bullies. However, it can lessen your chances of it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to develop charisma so that you can reduce the likelihood that you’ll continue to be bullied. Also, you can use it as a powerful weapon against your bullies.

Once you learn all about these important tips, you’ll be able to not only protect yourself from bullying, but make new friends so much easier.

This post is all about how to develop charisma so that you can make friends and allies easier and ward off bullies.

How to Develop Charisma

It’s true that your reputation can be your most valuable asset. How people talk about you when you’re gone can be the difference between your ability to make friends or not. It’s the sum total of the impression you make.

And first impressions are everything. They set the stage for your future in many areas. With charisma, you’re more successful and you have more positive relationships with others.

Also, you make more money and get faster promotions. Charismatic salespeople score more sales, and win more negotiations and debates.

In other words, charisma allows you to have more influence over the people you meet. And you’re much more persuasive. Now, who doesn’t love that.

What is charisma?

Charisma is that alluring, magnetic quality that draws people in like bees to honey. Anther word for it is je ne sais quoi.

When you have charisma, you live in the moment with people. You’re focused on them and interested in them. In short, you like them more. And people have a natural desire to be liked.

With charisma, you don’t care whether they like you but you want to like them.

You can have all the good looks, all the fancy clothes, cars, and money. However, all that is nothing if you don’t have charisma. Why? Because charisma is something that’s much more powerful.

How to Develop Charisma:

Some people are born with it.

It’s true that some are just born with charisma. They have that coveted quality that goes way beyond having a pretty face or and banging body. In other words, these people have the ability to create rapport that mesmerizes people and makes them feel special.

They have that super-power that makes others respond to them positively and instinctively.

Years ago, when I was being bullied so horrifically, I would notice the people that seemed to get everyone to like them with little to no effort. Moreover, I despised these people because they had something that I wanted so badly.

I hate to say it. But, I’d give them a hard time out of pure jealousy. Also, when I asked a few family members how I could learn to be as magnetic as them, here’s what they’d tell me.

“You might as well give that up. You either have the ability to schmooze successfully, or you don’t.”

“You’re either born with charisma or you were just tough out of luck! You just have make-do without it!”

“‘Sorry, hun. That is something that can’t be taught! It’s something you’re born with. So, you just have to get along the best you can.”

You can imagine just how pissed off I was at God! In fact, I stopped talking to him for quite a few years.

How to Develop Charisma:

**Thankfully You can learn it.**

Thankfully, we now know that charisma and the ability to schmooze successfully can be taught, learned, and harnessed.

Charisma is an art, a craft, and you must perfect it. And you perfect it by practicing the charisma-skills you’ve learned on your family and closest friends. Then, you can work your way outward to the people you meet each day.

To learn it, you must read and study the art. Moreover, you must be able to identify the behaviors charismatic people use. Here are the characteristics of charismatic people.

Charismatic people enjoy giving others a positive experience.
Charismatic people understand how to make people feel great about themselves. So, they make them feel special and important.

The benefits of being charismatic

People listen to you.
Others give you extra chances.
You get opportunities others don’t.
Others will more likely forgive you for things they’d crucify others for. Bullies are very charismatic. However, their charisma is fake.
You get filled in on secrets others don’t
People make excuses for you, and give you the benefit of a doubt.
Others go out of their way for you. In fact, many people will bend over backwards for you.
You sweep people off their feet- especially potential partners.

How to Develop charisma:

Here’s what charismatic people do.

Those who are charismatic have certain behaviors that draw people to them. Here they are.

They seem to like you…a lot!
Those who are charismatic seem to value your opinions and beliefs
People with charisma seem to give you all their attention and no one else. They have a way of making it feel like it’s only the two of you in a room even if the room is crowded.
They make it seem as if you’re the most important person in the room
Those with charisma make you feel like a million bucks.
They make you feel great about yourself.

Understand that this kind of power is unlimited. So, nurture it, cultivate it, and exploit it! If you want to make your bullies look like the devils they are, you must first learn it!

Therefore, learn it and practice it every day. If you do this long enough, it will some come like second nature. Then, you can give your bullies a proverbial slap in the face by reaching unimaginable heights.

I can’t stress this enough! Do everything you can to develop your charisma. It can be one of the best offenses against bullies!

If you can create that awesome feeling in others anywhere and at any time, you have a gift that’s priceless! And the social rewards are limitless! With charisma, you have the keys to the kingdom!

In fact, you have that je ne sais quoi that most people covet!

How to Develop Charisma:

What is Je Ne Sais Quoi?

What is that coveted je ne sais quoi? Je Ne Sais Quoi is French, and it means, “I don’t know what.”

The term is used to describe a special but indescribable characteristic that someone has. This characteristic is hard to name. Therefore, it’s that unnameable characteristic that attracts people, especially suitors, and puts them under your spell.

When someone has a certain je ne sais quoi, people will usually say things like, “There’s just something about them.”

For example, someone who falls in love will often use that phrase when others can’t understand what they see in the love-interest.

Again, some people were born with this mysterious allure and come by it naturally. These lucky people seem to attract people easily and effortlessly.

Others, like many bullying victims, were not blessed with it. Therefore, they have great difficulty making friends. Shy individuals and those on the autism spectrum tend to have the most difficulty in this arena.

Je Ne Sais Quoi is charisma! But, it’s more than that!

You may be a victim of bullying who has difficulty making friends or finding love. However, all is not lost!

The secret to getting that je ne sais quoi is to understand exactly what it is. And, again, you can learn it! And, once you learn it, you can use it to your advantage.

So, what is it exactly?

Simple. It’s charisma. It’s also social intelligence. JNSQ is a combination of confidence, charm, and charisma. I call it, The Three Attractive C’s.

Therefore, the most precious thing in the universe isn’t money. It isn’t gold or silver. It’s these three traits because they set you on a path of success in every aspect of your life.

How to Develop Charisma:

you must have good self-esteem.

However, to have the three C’s, you must first have healthy self-esteem.

Sadly, many targets of bullying don’t realize this. They want these traits so badly but don’t have the self-esteem to back them up.

As a result, they live a lonely and unsuccessful life. Moreover, they secretly resent those who have it as they sit on the sidelines and watch them have a blessed life.

And, they may resent God for not blessing them with it, which only makes things worse.

Here are a few things you can do to raise your self-esteem and with it, your charisma.

1. Smile!

And by smile, I mean do it authentically. A real, genuine smile is one complete with the crinkles around the outer corners of the eyes.

If there are no crinkles around the eyes, the smile is fake. Realize that you must display confident body language or it’s all for naught!

2. When you’re talking to a person, say their name.

According to Dale Carnegie’s book, entitled, “How to Make Friends and Influence People,” a person’s name is music to their ears. Therefore, saying their name when you speak to them just makes them feel that having a conversation with you is all the better.

3. How to Develop Charisma:

Engage in small talk.

Never talk about anything deep. Great small talk conversations discuss topics such as the weather, sports, movies, music, and current events (just don’t go to deep on the current events).

4. Realize that it’s not about you.

One thing I want you to know right now. People care more about themselves and their lives than they do about you.

It’s just the reality of human nature. Therefore, become interested in other people and their lives. People always love someone who’s interested in them.

Start with doing the above practices and don’t be afraid to learn new tricks. Realize that you will probably need to fake it, at first. So, fake it until you make it!

It’s what I had to do. However, I discovered that when you act confident, you will soon feel confident. And when you feel confident, the fake becomes real.

Practice these things and you will soon be able to raise your charisma level and draw people to you. And once you do that, you’ll be able to schmooze like a pro!

But more importantly, you’ll feel confident as hell!

This post is all about how to develop Charisma so that you can keep away bullies. Also, so you can feel confident and in control.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Confident Body Language: 11 Ways to Look Confident

2. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

3. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

4. Raising Self-Esteem: 5 Easy Mind Hacks that Help

Opinions are Not Facts: 7 Reasons Those of Bullies Don’t Matter

June 11, 2025June 11, 202512 Comments

Opinions are not facts. ‘Want to know why they’re so cheap? Here are the reasons you shouldn’t care what others think of you.

It seems the people who know the least about us are the ones who have the most to say.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn that opinions are not facts. Moreover, you’ll learn why you shouldn’t care what others think or say about you.

Once you learn these important truths, you will no longer let the words of a bully, or anyone else who doesn’t matter, phase you.

This post is all about why opinions aren’t facts so that you can let others’ snarky words roll down your back and keep it moving.

Opinions are not facts

Facts are truths about you. Opinions are what people think of you.

Bullies talk a lot of crap and put on a fake persona. Moreover, they’re loud and obnoxious, which translates to thirsty for attention and admiration.

“Hey! Look at me! Look at me!”

Their lives are so pathetic that the only way they can feel good about themselves is to make others feel bad. It’s all because bullies are insecure and afraid.

They’re scared that someone else is either going to outshine them somehow or make them look inferior. However, should what they think of you ever matter?

What if I told you that your bullies’ negative thoughts of you only reflected those they secretly have of themselves?

Would you believe me if I said that their hatred of you is only a reflection of their own pathetic self-loathing? And that they’re only trying to put it all off on you?

Understand that bullies put on quite a show to look significant and relevant. Also, they must work damn hard at keeping up their images.

When you really stop and think about it, it’s just as pathetic as when someone stuffs their bra or puts a sock in their crotch. Anyone who must expend such an enormous amount of effort to keep the less-than-perfect parts of them hidden can’t be a person who likes themselves much.

Therefore, why should you value the opinion of some buffoon who’s desperate to be seen? Realize that this person’s opinion has no merit whatsoever. And their hurtful words carry little weight, if any at all.

If you know what to look for, you’ll see these people for what they are, and you won’t take them seriously. And when you do, it will buffer you from their attacks and your self-esteem will skyrocket!

Here are 7 reasons why the opinions of bullies don’t matter.

1. Opinions Are Not FActs:

Most Bullies are Fakers and Posers

In fact, a good majority of them are posers and fakers. Moreover, these imposters account for at least ninety percent of the population.

Therefore, should it be surprising that in high school and in the workplace, everything is based on appearances? Realize that those who fake it the best and most convincingly are the most popular ones in the bunch.

Also, they’re more than likely bullies to boot.

However, most people don’t pay attention to detail. And, they aren’t concerned with facts. Thankfully, there are a few who do. Even during high school, I noticed detail right off.

For instance, in the lunch line, I would notice that most of the guys in the clique would wear their flashy, designer clothes. However, most of them would pull out a cheap, fifteen-dollar wallet to pay for their lunches.

Many bullies do the same thing. They pose.

2. Most of them will bully you over your virtues, not your faults.

But you? You know that you don’t need to be fake and put on any fronts, yet you’re the one getting bullied. Do you know why?

It’s because you’re better than that and your bullies know it. Therefore, because you choose to be your authentic self, they give you a hard time over it.

Your bullies are jealous of you because you have the guts to be yourself. Moreover, you don’t have to work as hard as they do. To keep up fake appearances takes a lot of work.

Therefore, they project their fakery and insecurities onto you. Realize that people who are authentic and real will receive a lot of hate. Those who are comfortable with being themselves, are those most likely to suffer bullying.

It’s just a part of the messed-up world we live in.

So, I want you to know that when people bully you, it is not because you’re doing something wrong. It’s because you’re doing something right. In other words, it’s not that there’s something wrong with you, it’s because there’s something right with you.

3. Opinions Are Not Facts:

The value you give to an opinion is based on relationship with the person who has it.

“In order to insult me, I must first value your opinion. Nice try, though!”
~ T-Ronn Hicks ~

It’s a shame that most don’t realize this. But it’s true! When you value someone’s opinion of you, you’re naturally going to feel insulted if those opinions aren’t favorable.

Therefore, value the opinions of those most important in your life. Those people are the one who love you and help to grow and shape you into a better person. These people lift you up and help you feel better about yourself.

Moreover, they encourage you to reach for your goals. They’re most likely to be your family, friends, and your favorite mentors.

They are those whose opinions you should value.

On the other hand, if you don’t consider certain people important, you won’t value their opinions. Some people do not deserve for you to value their opinions.

And those people are those who hurt or abuse you. Your bullies fall into this category.

4. Bullies and abusers don’t qualify.

I want you to understand that if a person seeks to harm you in any way, their opinions hold no value. Therefore, you should consider them null and void!

They’re of no importance to you whatsoever! Why? Because they can bring absolutely no good to your life!

Again, you should only value the opinions of those who love and care about you. They are the ones who are down for your good and your advancement!

However, people who continually tear you down, wreck your self-esteem, and belittle you should have zero significance to you.

It doesn’t matter if they are in a high position. And, it doesn’t matter if they’re popular or have the most money. If they consistently tear you down, they’re no good to you.

Therefore, you should just blow them off and keep going.

Defending yourself and valuing the wrong people’s opinions isn’t the same.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t assert yourself if someone violates your boundaries. Because you should! However, don’t let it cause you to love yourself any less.

Blow off the petty put-downs of bullies. Why? Because, more than likely, the insults they spew have no merit in the first place!

I know it’s not easy. Believe me. I’ve been there. It took too many years for me to finally realize this important rule of life, but I’m glad I finally did. Better late than never.

Know that you can do it. Avoid toxic people as much as possible and only keep company with the people who have your best at heart.

You will know who these people are. Your gut will tell you. Moreover, their behavior will tell you. So, listen to that gut instinct and pay attention to the vibes others around you put out!

You’ll thank yourself later!

5. Opinions are Not Facts:

“If you care too much about what others think, you care less about yourself.”

This is what a fellow blogger wrote a few years back. And, she was right!

When you care too much about what other people think, you become a slave to those people. In other words, these morons own you.

Any time you care too much about the thoughts and opinions of others, you’ll bend over backward to prove your worth. You’ll be a yes-person because you won’t have the guts to say no when you really want to say it.

You’ll do things you’d rather not do. Also, you’ll agree with things that go against your beliefs and convictions. You’ll sacrifice your time, your resources, and yourself for people who don’t deserve it.

6. You’ll lose respect for yourself and others will too.

You’ll fall for other people’s BS and accept crappy behavior from them just to avoid conflict. And they’ll see you as a pushover.

In other words, you’ll be a doormat and lose respect for yourself. And you’ll look pathetic! To put it bluntly, you’ll kiss butt and eat shit all for the sake of approval. Yuck!

You’ll only attract users, abusers, and losers, who’ll only deplete you of time, energy, and worst of all, self-esteem!

Even worse, your submissiveness will come to be expected after a while. And once you do finally get tired of being walked on and grow a spine, people won’t respect you for it. They’ll be offended by it.

‘You see, here’s the thing. If you truly know your value, you don’t have to prove it because you know it’s there. Even better, others see it too. Why? Because they not only sense that others’ opinions don’t phase you, but they can see it in your demeanor.

So, stop caring what bullies and abusers think of you. They shouldn’t even matter to you.

7. Opinions Are Not Facts:

Although they can Affect Our Lives to a degree, opinions are not facts.

This bears repeating. Bullies’ opinions shouldn’t concern you. However, it doesn’t mean they can’t affect you, or even hinder you.

The reality is that the bullies’ opinions of you can have a huge impact on your life. Moreover, you may not want to admit it. And, no, it isn’t fair.

However, the reality is that the personal opinions of other people are often the deciding factor on whether you’re well-liked or hated.

Bullies influence the attitudes of others who otherwise wouldn’t have issues with you at all. Also, the opinions of bullies have ways of spreading far and wide.

They make bullies out of those who, under normal circumstances, would never resort to mistreating another human being. It’s amazing what a contagion effect bullying has on schools, companies, organizations, and communities.

However, don’t let that discourage you. Know that opinions aren’t facts and refuse to care what they think.

Why? Because, nine times out of then, if you don’t give a rat’s ass about others opinions, they won’t affect you. Moreover, others will notice that you don’t care. Then, they’ll leave you alone and go find someone else to bully and push their cheap opinions on.

This post is all about the truth that opinions aren’t facts so that you won’t care so much about the opinions of bullies and other people who don’t matter.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

2. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

3. When You Stop Caring: 9 Positive Results You’ll See

4. Facts About Respect: 9 Time-Tested Truths You Must Know

How to Stop Over-Explaining: 9 Powerful Mind-Hacks You Can Use

June 9, 2025June 9, 202531 Comments

‘Want to know how to stop over-explaining? Here are all the mind hacks you need to know about.

Too many victims of bullying feel that they must explain themselves to everyone. However, some things just don’t need explaining.

Therefore, you shouldn’t explain yourself to people who mean very little to you. That includes bullies and haters.

In this post, you will learn how to stop over-explaining yourself so that you can enjoy more freedom and autonomy.

Once you learn all about these important tidbits, you will no longer feel the need to explain yourself to anyone you don’t owe anything to. As a result, you’ll feel much better about yourself and freer to do your own thing.

This post is all about how to stop over-explaining so that you can free yourself from other people’s ignorance and judgments.

How to Stop Over-Explaining

It’s amazing how we waste so much of our time and energy caring about what others think of us. Moreover, these are usually people whose opinions of us have absolutely no bearing on our lives!

I want you to understand that there will always be people who judge you negatively without knowing you. It’s a part of life.

Moreover, those who say the most are usually the ones who know the least about you. So, why do you place so much value on their opinions? Why do you need to explain yourself to them?

Don’t explain yourself to the wrong people

I can understand if the person means a lot to you. Longing to be accepted is human nature and we’re all hardwired to desire human connection.

Also, it’s good to value opinions of our families, friends, and those who love us and want best for us. Why? Because their opinions of us are credible and we value them.

However, a bully or hater’s opinion isn’t credible. It has no value and shouldn’t matter at all. These people add nothing to your life, they only take from it!

So, again, are people who are of no benefit to you even worth the energy expenditure? Should what they think of you even matter?

And do their meaningless opinions have any bearing on your life? Are they a superior at work or school and do they have the power to determine what happens to us?

If not, then chalk their opinions up as just a bunch of noise that you need to mute. Why? Because they aren’t worthy of any explanations or apologies.

And, if you continue over-explaining yourself to the wrong people, you only make yourself a bigger target to them.

1. How to stop over-explaining:

See your bullies’ opinions as a bunch of drivel.

One of sad things about suffering bullying is that others will always stick their noses in your business. Moreover, if you so much as scratch your nose, they will happily insert their cheap two cents on it.

Therefore, chances are that you’re doing all the research on how to refuse to answer to your bullies.

If nothing else, know this! You do NOT have to explain yourself to anyone. Sure, people have told you this time and time again. But how do you gather the courage to refuse?

2. See your bullies’ unsolicited opinions as tiny power-grabs.

Your bullies are only trying to strip you of your personal power.

Therefore, realize that you don’t have to answer to these ignoramuses. Tell them to take a long walk off a short pier. And take back your peace of mind.

Again, you don’t have to explain yourself to these pieces of garbage.

Why? Because bullies don’t care what your reasons are. They just want to run their mouths to undermine your autonomy. So, you don’t owe those creeps a damn thing!

3. Your bullies are trying to Bait you into a reaction.

Understand that bullies are playing games with you. Moreover, there’s a psychological payoff to these little mind-games.

Baiting you to react gives your bullies satisfaction, gratification, and a massive rush of power.

To put it simpler, while you’re wasting your breath, trying to explain yourself to your bullies, they’re smiling inside over how easy it was to get you riled up.

They’re getting their kicks off their ability to make you nervous and afraid. Therefore, realize that some things don’t need an explanation and some people don’t deserve one.

4. How to Stop Over-Explaining:

Understand that Explanations are a waste of time and energy

Why? For these reasons.

No matter what you say or how you say it, bullies will never believe you.
Most people only believe whatever feels convenient.
They aren’t interested in evidence or facts. Facts may only deter them for the time being. However, your bullies will only get angrier at you for having the gall to prove them wrong.
They’ll regroup, reorganize, then come back at you with a whole new accusation and demand another explanation later.

Therefore, it’s better just to tell them, up front, that you don’t owe them any explanations. Then, end the confrontation by telling them all to step off before turning your back and walking away.

5. See Your Bullies’ Opinions as a mind-Game.

Realize that your bullies get their thrills from knowing they have you jumping through hoops to prove yourself. Therefore, stop trying so hard to explain yourself to those who aren’t worth pissing on.

Therefore, who are they that you should have to explain anything? Why should you care what they think?

Are they even worth your consideration? They don’t pay your bills. And they don’t sign your paychecks. They damn sure aren’t important to you.

Are they even up to your level? Do they bring anything worthwhile to your life?

Ask yourself these questions and you’ll know the answers. Moreover, you’ll realize that you don’t owe these morons jack shit!

I understand that bullies can be intimidating and threatening. It’s hard to resist an explanation when you’re scared to death.

It’s difficult not to began rattling off when you just want them to go away and leave you in peace. But trust me, they won’t! Remember, bullies and abusers always come back for more!

This bears repeating. It won’t make things better. If anything, the harassment will only get worse because your reaction will only make you an even bigger and easier target.

6. How to Stop Over-Explaining:

See their opinions as a trap!

When your bullies attempt to interact with you, they’ll try to suck you into the explaining trap. And, no matter how you much you explain things, they’ll only pretend not to understand.

In fact, they’ll never accept anything you have to say.

Again, most things don’t need an explanation. However, it doesn’t mean bullies won’t try. They’ll do their damnedest to get you to give needless explanations.

And, if you don’t understand how to avoid this trap, they’re have you running on an endless hamster wheel of trying to clear up things that aren’t a big deal.

You’ll only wear yourself out, trying to explain yourself to idiots who aren’t worthy of your time or consideration.

Therefore, realize that this is just another bullying tactic.

7. Realize that your bullies are trying To throw you off-balance

Realize that your bullies only make you explain yourself to keep you on the back foot. They’ll keep challenging and criticizing your explanations just to get you to give more of them. Understand that they do this on purpose.

You must see this tactic for what it is and what it’s meant to do. It’s all designed to keep you drowning in an endless sea of explanations and justifications.

Therefore, the important thing to bear in mind is that they really don’t need an explanation from you. In fact, they don’t even want one.

What your bullies really want is to throw you off-balance. In other words, they want to bamboozle you and keep you engaging with them.

8. How to Stop Over-Explaining:

Understand that They can use your explaining To gather ammunition they can fire back at you later

‘You see? The longer your bullies can keep you interacting with them, the more they can reshape the things you say. They can then use them as proverbial bullets to fire at you later.

And they may use it tomorrow, or even years later.

You must realize that your bullies will retain very clear memories of what you say. And they’ll store it all up in the back of their minds, just in case it becomes useful ammo in their arsenal.

For example, you set a boundary by refusing to speak to your bullies and they ask you, “Why won’t you talk to us?”

You respond by pointing out all the abuse they’ve dealt you. Then, your bullies come back with, “And when did we do that?” Therefore, they entice you to explain when that was.

9. Know that They Only get you to explain yourself just To trip you up.

When bullies dupe you into explaining yourself, you’re likely to be emotional. Moreover, any time you become emotional, your logical brain shuts down and you aren’t able to think straight.

Therefore, you probably won’t be able to keep your story straight. And this will be no matter how truthful it is. But, understand that this is what your bullies are hoping for.

How to Stop Over-Explaining:

So, what are the best ways to respond?

And how do you respond with strength? There are several ways.

For instance, if your bullies ask you, “What did we ever do to you?” you don’t have to offer any explanations. All you have to do is tell them shortly and firmly, “You know what you did.” Then, keep it moving.

Moreover, you want to walk away before the bullies have time to fire off another curve-ball. Therefore, say what you have to say, in as few words as possible, then turn your back and start walking.

Understand that you owe them nothing, and I mean nothing, more than that! This bears repeating. You don’t have to explain any damn thing to anyone.

Here’s another example. You confront your bullies over something bad they did to you. Then, they ask you, “Really? When did we do so-and-so to you?”

All you have to say is, “You know when it happened,” or “You know when you did it.” Then, simply walk away without looking back.

Again, the trick is to make your response as curt and short as possible. Use as few words as you possibly can. And take a rude tone of voice when you say it.

Sometimes, you have to embarrass your bullies to make them back off.

For instance, when they ask you to explain why you got smart with them, you can ask them, “What are you, five!”

This is a great comeback! Not only are you not allowing those creeps to manipulate you, you’re also adding a touch of shame and humiliation to it.

Moreover, if you’re in public, all the better! With this response, you’re not only calling the bullies out, you’re making them look like punks!

You can also ask them, “Do I have to spell it out for you?”

This comeback is good because, again, it shames the bullies and makes them look like complete idiots. Moreover, it takes their curve-ball question and turns it into a foolish one.

Therefore, you win!

Therefore, you must realize that when bullies pretend not to understand, this is a golden opportunity for you. It’s the perfect opening for you to turn it around on them and hit them in the gut with it.

However, most victims miss this opportunity because of fear and high emotions. But, don’t worry and don’t beat yourself up over it. It isn’t your fault. This happens to the best of us.

Moreover there isn’t a lot of information out there on how to respond to these types of tricks.

How to Stop Over-Explaining:

Sometimes, It’s best not to respond at all.

Some things just don’t need an explanation.

Therefore, if your bullies try to get you to explain yourself, you can just keep walking and pay them no mind. However, be advised. This doesn’t always work.

But, you’ll come out ahead because you understood that over-explaining isn’t necessary. And you didn’t fall into the explaining trap.

In closing:

So, what will happen when you figure out what your bullies are doing?

Once you figure out where all this bullshit comes from, your bullies’ mind-games will no longer affect you. You’ll get bored with all their shenanigans.

Then, you’ll only blow them off with a “whatever,” and keep it moving.

Therefore, you’ll feel much better. And the icing on the cake is that you’ll take the wind out of the bullies’ sails. Moreover, you won’t be any fun to them anymore.

Then, your bullies will finally leave you alone and find some one else to toy around with.

Therefore, stop thinking you have to explain yourself to those who aren’t worth your time. And stop caring what other people think.

Realize that you deserve so much better. Command the respect you deserve. And if that means you walk away and sever ties with toxic people, then, so be it.

You’re better off without them. So, do whatever you must do to take back your power and your peace of mind.

This post was all about how to stop over-explaining so that you can make yourself less a victim and take back your personal power and your peace of mind.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond

2. You Don’t Have to Explain Yourself: 5 Reasons You Shouldn’t

3. When You Stop Caring: 9 Positive Results You’ll See

4. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

Walking Away from Fake Friends

June 6, 2025May 30, 202513 Comments

‘Want to know why walking away from fake friends is the best thing you can do for yourself? Here are all the details you need to know about.

Having pure enemies is better than having fake friends. Why? Because with an enemy, you know where you stand with them.

However, fake friends are worse than enemies because they get close enough to you to get you.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why walking away from fake friends is smart so that you won’t feel guilty about it.

Once you learn all about these important reasons, you will be able to walk away with confidence instead of guilt.

This post is all about walking away from fake friends so that you won’t beat yourself up when it’s time to say adios to imposters.

Walking Away from Fake Friends

Ditching those you thought were your friends can be a difficult thing to do. Why? Because there are feelings of guilt involved. Moreover, you might be afraid of being alone and friendless.

However, if you have friends who are stabbing you in the back and trying to sabotage you in life, it’s the wisest thing you can do.

Don’t drink dirty water because you’re thirsty.

You might look at the title of this post and think, “Well, duh!” So, let me put it another way.

Just because you’re thirsty doesn’t mean you have to drink dirty water. Even if it seems that dirty water is all that’s available.

In other words, don’t let loneliness cause you to go back to toxic people just because good people are hard to find.

“Settling for toxic friends because you’re lonely is like drinking dirty water because you’re thirsty.” – Cherie White –

When you finally get enough of being used and abused by fake friends and decide to walk away, you may be alone for a while. In fact, life may put you to the test to see if you’re really and truly done with those creeps.

Even worse, life may decide to drag it out over a few weeks or months just to test your strength. This happens to many victims of bullying. They may ditch the fakes who only pretended to be their friends.

Afterwards, they may be friendless. And they may wait a little while. However, eventually they cave in and go back to the same assholes who treated them so badly.

You may do the same thing.

You may allow your frenemies to sweet-talk you back into the friendship. However, what happens once you go back?

Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Patience is a Must!

It’s true that these fakes may be extra friendly. They treat you well for a few days, weeks, or maybe even a month. However, they will eventually go back to treating you like crap again.

Why? Because they see the second chance you gave them as weakness. To them, it’s evidence that you were only bluffing when you broke off the friendship.

You only look desperate, or, as the kids say today, “thirsty.” And ewww! That’s not a good look at all! Cringe is what it is!

Therefore, these fakers only lose respect for you and no longer take you seriously. Even worse, if you get tired of the abuse again and walk away a second time, they’ll only look at each other and say, “She’ll be back. She just needs time to cool off.”

There’s a reason for the old saying, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” I’m all for giving second chances, don’t get me wrong. Why?

Because people screw up from time to time. However, you should use judgement when doing so. Who is it that you’re giving the chance to?

And have they blown any chances you’ve given in the past? This is very important!

Don’t Give Chances to Those Who Only Abuse Them

Again, second chances are fine. Just make sure you don’t end up giving them a third chance, fourth chance, and so on. Moreover, realize that there are instances when even a second chance isn’t deserved.

Why? Because there are some things you just can’t come back from. So, if you decide to give another chance, make this your rule of thumb.

Walking Away from Fake Friends:

**The Second Chance is the last chance!**

The second chance is always the last chance. If they blow that chance, that’s it and it’s on them.

When it comes to situations such as this, you must stick to your guns. Otherwise, your fake friends, your bullies, and others who are around to see it will only use you as a cat toy.

Therefore, when you get rid of imposters, do it and mean it! Do it with the presumption that you may have to wait a spell before better friends find you.

Then stick it out! Wouldn’t you rather be by yourself rather than with people who only use and abuse you?

If you’re going to be alone anyway, it might as well be for a damn good reason. Because nothing feels worse than being alone in a group!

So, the next time you get fed up with shabby treatment and decide to walk, don’t let loneliness cause you to go back to toxic assholes.

Be patient and wait it out! I promise you that better people will come along eventually. Dry spells don’t last forever.

If you hold true to yourself and stick it out, you will have better friends. And they will be people who are worth your time and consideration- people who deserve to have you in their lives.

Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Choose Quality over quantity

I have only a small circle of friends and associates and I like it that way. I’d much rather only five true friends than to have a million fake ones.

And the truth is that you can have millions of frenemies and fair-weather friends who don’t value you as much as you deserve to be valued and still be lonely. You are no better off than you’d be if you had no friends at all.

But you can have only one friend, two friends, three or five, true friends who genuinely love you, enjoy being around you, and have your back and never feel abandoned.

Quantity is always zero without quality.

You can own a hundred houses, but it does not mean you’re rich. If your hundred houses are all infested with termites, rats, and cockroaches; and about to fall apart, do you really have anything of value?

A hundred cars don’t make a dealership if they’re all old beaters that don’t run. No. What you have is a junkyard.

The same goes with the friends you keep around. You can have thousands of friends but if they all treat you like crap, never have your back, and bail out at the first sign of trouble, they aren’t worth a damn, and you should ditch and switch.

Pick friends who know your worth and who earn the privilege of being in your life.

Signs of Fake Friends

You must add value to yourself and that means that your time and your friendship must come at a cost. And that cost is reciprocation.

If a so-called friend constantly gives you shabby treatment, you must immediately withdraw your friendship. Tell that person to take a walk and to not even look back. That’s how you add value to yourself.

You must teach others how they should treat you.

I realize that it won’t be easy to walk away, especially if you endure bullying and your toxic, fake friends seem to be the only options you have.

Nobody wants to be lonely and friendless. However, wouldn’t you rather be by yourself than to be friends with a bunch of sorry pieces of shit who only let you down? I know I would!

Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Know your worth.

You must know your worth. Know that you deserve more than the crumbs you’ve been getting. Moreover, know that you can have true friends if you ditch these creeps.

Think of it like this: You’re getting rid of them to make room for the better friends you’re about to meet. I’m not saying that you won’t be friendless for a while because you just might be.

And, if you must wait, here are a few things you can do to lift your spirits while you wait:

Dive into your hobbies.
Spend time with family and friends.
Do the things you enjoy doing.
Exercise.
Treat yourself to a pampering session- get a spa treatment, go on a trip to the beach, etc.

There are so many things you can do that will put a smile on your face. Only you know what they are. Self-care is so important during times like these.

But I promise you. You will meet better people and you will make better friends. And once you do, they will be worth the wait! Don’t you think you’re worth it? I do.

And always remember. Quality over quantity!

Signs of Fake Friends and what you should do

Nefarious people are experts at hiding their evil. And they do it under the cover of concern and love. Bullies and fake friends are such people. However, it can be difficult to spotlight them.

After they’ve harmed you, you’re often left shocked and bewildered.

Fortunately, there are signs you can look for if you know what they are. Here’s what you can do to spot frenemies, fakes, and undercover bullies.

1. Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Always observe the people around you.

But do it without looking like you’re watching, of course. Use your peripheral vision to scan them and your environment.

Once you do this, you’ll quickly pick up on their moods and sense the elephant in the room (if there is one).

2. Look for body language that isn’t congruent with words and context.

Actions speak louder than words. If their body language isn’t congruent with words, background, or the situation and shows even a hint of hostility and discomfort when they’re around you, then “Houston, we have a problem.”

3. Watch for micro flashes.

If you’re not careful, you’re likely to miss those tiny, split-second micro flashes of contempt people give without realizing it or when they think you aren’t aware of it. There are good actors; don’t get me wrong.

However, there are certain things the body gives away involuntarily. And, if you look for it, you’ll see it.

When you’re around fake friends, sometimes, as you turn your back, you’ll see a tiny micro flash of contempt on their faces out of the corner of your eye. Then, you’ll get that nagging feeling in the pit of your gut.

Don’t ignore that because you aren’t only imagining things! Eighty-six these creeps fast!

4. Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Notice the person’s feet

You can tell a lot by the feet! If the person is talking to you, facing you, but their feet are pointing away from you, that means they aren’t as “with you” as you think.

Put some distance between you and that person.

5. Watch for crossed arms while talking to the person.

If you’re having a conversation with the person and they cross their arms over their chest, that’s a dead giveaway! They’re exhibiting closed body language. And, they’re closing themselves off to anything you have to say.

Therefore, it’s time to make an excuse to end the tete-a-tete and walk away. You don’t want this person around you.

6. Looking at you without blinking.

If they do this, it’s a sure sign of contempt, or they’re trying to intimidate you. Either way, this person is not the person you want to be around.

7. Walking Away from Fake Friends:

Here are other signs you should look for.

If you notice a furrowed brow or one corner of the lip slightly raised, it’s time to ditch this person. Also, if you see an icy, piercing stare, or they’re smiling at you with their mouth but not the eyes (no crinkles around the eyes), it’s a bad sign.

Therefore, you might want to distance yourself.

8. What if they look at you, then look at each other when you walk away?

It’s a red flag. Therefore, you want nothing more to do with these people.

9. Watch what you share

Very important! Don’t tell anyone anything they don’t need to know. Not even to those who seem friendly.

In other words, don’t reveal information that’s better off private. And, don’t badmouth anybody, especially the bullies, to anyone.

Fakers may smile in your face, but you can be sure they’ll report back to the bullies with anything you say and try to fan the flames.

10. Watch for eavesdroppers.

If you have an innocent conversation with someone in the hall, be on the lookout for eavesdroppers. Don’t talk near corners or open doors.

Why? Because, many times, people will listen in on your discussion, then report back to the bullies with it. Pay attention to people who walk by.

And if you see other people standing around while you’re speaking and those people aren’t a part of the conversation, take the discussion to a place more private. And, be sure you aren’t being followed.

In order to protect yourself, you must keep your eyes and ears peeled and be an avid people-watcher. Only when you pay attention to other people, will you be able to see behind the masks bullies and fake friends wear.

Here are other ways you can spot fake friends.

This post is all about walking away from fake friends so that you can know when to do it and do it with confidence and without feeling guilty.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Fake Friend: 11 Easy Ways to Spot One with Bad Intentions

2. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You

3. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

4. 10 Signs of a Toxic Friendship (And How to Cut Ties)

when bullying gets out of control at school

When Bullying Gets Out of Control: 5 Signs You’re in Danger

June 5, 2025May 28, 20255 Comments

‘What happens when bullying gets out of control? Here are all the signs that you’re in danger.

When bullying reaches new levels, it can feel as if the abuse has taken on a life of it’s own. This is when things become dangerous really fast.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what to look for when bullying gets out of control.

Once you learn all about these signs and symptoms, you will be compelled to make the appropriate decisions to get out of the situation.

This post is all about what happens when bullying gets out of control so that you can take the necessary steps to ensure your safety.

When Bullying Gets Out of Control

When bullies select a victim to abuse, their bullying tends to escalate quickly. Moreover, it can last for years. In fact, others may join in. After so long, people grow comfortable with abusing you. Therefore, bullying becomes a natural occurrence.

When this happens, bullying can become unstoppable no matter what you do to defend yourself. Moreover, things can become dangerous, even life-threatening if you aren’t aware of the signs.

Here are all the signs that the bullying you suffer has reached dangerous levels.

1. Your Bullies Become Brazen

You’ll notice that your bullies getting cocky. They’ll do their bullying out in the open, for everyone to see.

In fact, they’ll no longer try to hide it. Why? Because they fear no consequences.

Those in positions of power won’t stop the bullying. They have no intentions of protecting you. Therefore, there’s little chance they’ll hold the bullies responsible for their behavior.

Make no mistake! When your bullies bully you in plain sight, in front of peers and authority, it’s a bad sign.

It means that you’re in grave danger. Why? Because, when the abuse reaches this level, there’s no limit to the brutality your bullies will inflict.

When bullying gets out of control, there’s no incentive to stop. Then Bullies quickly become full of themselves.

It’s the same with criminals. When there’s no accountability for wrongdoing, it only emboldens them to do more of it.

And their arrogance only sends these unspoken messages:

“We can do whatever we want and there’s nothing you can do.”
“Who’s going to stop us?”
“Who’s going to help you. You’re ours now.”

Most bullies would stop if they thought someone would hold them accountable. Or, they’d at least try to hide their behavior.

No one wants to have to answer for anything. Moreover, they don’t want the shame and humiliation that comes with it.

Therefore, they either wouldn’t do the bad deeds at all, or they would do their dirt behind closed doors.

Lack of accountability only emboldens bad people.

On the other hand, once a bully has gotten away with it a few times, they catch on that there are no consequences. They get the message that what they’re doing is okay.

Therefore, they have no shame in continuing the behavior.

And once there’s complete impunity, it’s no holds barred. In other words, your bullies are unrestrained in what they could do to you.

So, if you’re a target of bullying, you’re shit out of luck.

it sets a precedent.

It sets a bad standard for people who wouldn’t normally mistreat another person. In that, it encourages them to jump on the bandwagon and bully you too.

Why? Because bystanders notice the bullies getting away with abusing you. Therefore, they’ll think it’s okay to bully you. In fact, they’ll think that it’s the in-thing to do. So, they’ll be more than happy to join in on the torment.

It’s the science of group behavior.

2. When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

Others become Outraged when you stand up for yourself.

When you defend yourself against a bully’s attacks or demands, bullies will often retaliate. Anytime you stand up to bullies, they will often try to get back at you for it. Even bystanders will be pissed at you.

In fact, they either won’t help you or they join in.

Why do bullies become angry when you defend yourself? Because you put them in a weaker position and threaten their power.

Understand that bullies are entitled little twits. They need gratification and satisfaction, and when you refuse to give it to them, they will resent you and desire to punish you for it.

Moreover, it will offend others as well.

Why? Because, once bullying you has become the norm, it’s gone on for a long time. People have grown comfortable with seeing bullies abuse you.

And once people get comfortable with something, they resist anyone that tries to change it.

3. People Believe anything bad about you, no matter how ridiculous the lie may sound.

If you suffer bullying, you’ve probably had bullies tell the most outrageous and ridiculous lies about you. Moreover, the lies may be laughable at best.

And shockingly, everyone in the place will probably believe it! It will seem as if everyone around you is smoking crack.

Why? Because you’ll wonder how they can believe such tripe!

People will believe the big, outlandish lies before they accept the little white lies. For example, others might hear something huge and horrible about a certain person from someone they trust.

Maybe it comes from someone who has a little bit of power. They may feel shock and disbelief at first. However, they’ll eventually believe it.

But, why do they believe it? It’s because the penalty for severe wrongdoing is so big that people don’t want to think that anyone would tell such a big fat lie about someone if there isn’t some truth to it.

When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

IF someone is audacious enough to tell such a bold lie, we’re more likely to believe it.

We cling to the belief that if a person is audacious enough to make such an accusation about another person, then somewhere, there must be evidence to back it up.

Otherwise, they wouldn’t dare make such bold accusations and risk someone proving them wrong!

So, we hold on to the idea that where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Moreover, we allow caution and speculation to supersede any logic. And if we expect trouble to come from a specific place, that’s where we’re going to look.

And when we look for a specific thing, we usually find it.

Also, if a lie goes against the target’s character, we’re more likely to believe it. Why? Because any story of hypocrisy has a certain amount of shock value and entertainment to it. That is, as long as the story is about someone else and not us.

We’re more prone to believe a big fat lie because it frightens the crap out of us. Therefore, when people hear a lie so big and outrageous about you, it makes them wonder if they ever really knew you at all.

And the idea that someone they know could do such a horrible thing scares people to death.

4. You will be emotional and people will weaponize it.

Understand that anytime you suffer bullying, you’re at your absolute worst! Anyone would be a total emotional wreck under that kind of pressure.

Anytime a person is bullied by everyone, it doesn’t matter how strong they are. Moreover, it doesn’t matter how brave, how beautiful, nor how awesome their personalities are.

The bullying will eventually exhaust them and take them down.

In other words, if enough people bully you for long enough, you’ll only be able to withstand it for so long. Why? Because you’re only human. And no human being can hold up under that kind of stress for long.

Bullies instinctively know this. Therefore, if they’re determined to break you, they’ll increase the abuse until they get the outcome they want.

You will be overwhelmed with so many emotions. In fact, you’ll have paranoia. And, with good reason!

Therefore, they’ll twist it and make you look unstable.

And, why not? They’ve seen you morph from a cheerful person to a stressed out, hot mess of a train wreck who’s barely able to function.

5. When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

No One Will Help you.

If you’re a kid that other kids bully in school, you know that schools are supposed to protect children. Moreover, some schools do help targets of bullying.

I’ve read quite a few stories with this happy ending. And to those schools, I extend my love and respect.

However, I’ve also read and heard stories in which the school either failed or refused to help the victim. They only sided with the bullies.

I also found this out years ago from experience. Sadly, this ending is much more common than the first.

Therefore, if you are an object of bullying at your school, do take the proper channels to address the problem. Report the bullying to the teacher, principal, or district.

However, if the school does nothing about it, sweeps it under the rug, or worse, blames you, don’t let it surprise you. And don’t let it shock you if you face retaliation not only from the bullies but from school staff as well.

In most cases, schools side with bullies.

Understand that in these cases where the school doesn’t act on your behalf, it is because the school district has their own interests in mind.

Many schools only care about their sports programs. They care about how many points an athlete can score for their team and getting their teams into the playoffs.

Also, they care about how many kids they can send to colleges.

Another thing to consider is that school bullies likely have connections with several local politicians and other high-ranking officials. Also, many bullies excel academically.

Or, they may be are star athletes. Therefore, they make the school look good.

And if a student makes a school look good, why would they hold them accountable for bullying some throw-away kid?

Seasoned bullies also tend to be exceptionally socially intelligent. In other words, they know how to ingratiate themselves into the good graces of teachers and school staff.

Moreover, they’re also wordsmiths who talk a good game. They’re experts at feigning victimhood when you report them. They’re also good at explaining everything away, and rationalizing their bad behavior.

What they’re best at is making you look like the bully. Therefore, you must thing of these things when the school fails to respond to your pleas for help.

This is why you must do your own investigations and gather your own evidence. You must document each bullying incident to the letter and record it if the laws in your area allow.

But don’t give up. Remember. You are worth fighting for!

This post is all about what happens when bullying gets out of control and how to recognize it so that you can can the appropriate steps needed to ensure your safety.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Stop Victim Blaming: 8 Reasons People Blame Targets for Bullying

2. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

3. Bystanders to Bullying: 5 Reasons They Join In.

4. Deliberate Indifference: 7 Reasons Bystanders Won’t Help Victims

How to Regain Your Power: 9 Ways to Empower Yourself

May 27, 2025May 27, 20254 Comments

‘Want to know how to regain your power? Here are 9 ways to empower yourself that you need to know about.

Everyone wants to have power. In fact, it’s human nature to seek power. Because to be completely powerless is the perfect description of hell.

However, bullies can strip you of your personal power. And if you no longer have your personal power, you are powerless.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to regain your personal power so that you can take back control of your life.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be a powerful force in your own life. You will get back your freedom and your autonomy. Then you will be able to live your life as you see fit.

This post is all about how to regain your power so that you can overcome bullying and live your life on your terms.

How to Regain Your Power

Everyone wants power, if only a little of it. And sadly, bullies have ways of taking away your power.

Consequently, when a person is totally powerless, they live their life on autopilot. Figuratively, they’re only a leaf being blown around in the wind. They’re a sailboat without a sail- being blown on whatever course life dictates for them.

And it’s a terrible way to live. Without power, you don’t live. You only exist!

Really stop and think about it for a moment. To have power over nothing! Can you imagine it? It’s hard to, isn’t it? It’s the worst thing that could happen to you!

Real Power

Most people do not have to hurt others to achieve power. They feel powerful through their accomplishments. In other words, they get their power from being able to control their own lives, not someone else’s.

People who aren’t bullies get their sense of power through having success in their jobs. Moreover, they feel powerful from having successful home lives. They may have a loving family and a happy home.

Therefore, they take great pride in their families.

Their power may also come from their talents, their finances, and their physical health. This is why people start their own businesses or do strenuous workouts every day. It’s also why they aren’t afraid to display their talents and gifts.

For instance, a husband and father gets his sense of power from his ability to provide for and take care of his wife and children. A writer gets her sense of power through her writing and the ability to achieve readership.

A comedian gets his sense of power from doing stand-up comedy and his ability to make people laugh. And a singer gets her sense of power from her ability to entertain people with her beautiful voice.

An athlete gets his sense of power through competing in and winning at a sport. Also, students get their sense of power through making exceptional grades and through their diplomas and degrees.

But what do all these people have in common? It’s that they can all achieve their power without stepping on others.

Therefore, understand that getting power doesn’t always require hurting others. And there are no winners and losers. There’s equality, cooperation, and mutual respect. This kind of power is known as personal power.

And personal power is real power!

How to Regain Your Power:

Personal Power

In her book, “The Abusive Relationship,” Patricia Evans puts power in two categories- personal power and power over.

Personal power is power over your life’s trajectory. It’s the power to direct your own path- to choose your own wants.

It’s having the autonomy to make choices and decisions for yourself, and to do your own thing. There’s no need to harm another person because you already direct your own life-movie.

Having personal power puts you in the driver’s seat of your life. Therefore, you are the one who chooses your destination and which route you want to take to get there.

You are the captain of your own ship. The winds may change and blow you off course. However, with personal power, you have a rudder to steer your ship back on course.

You may have to take detours and you may have to take the long way to your destination. But you know where you’re going, and you eventually get there.

There are two types of power.

Power Over

Sadly, bullies cannot achieve personal power. Why? Because most bullies are incompetent fools who have no real intelligence. They only know how to act intelligent and fool others.

Moreover, they also have no sense of responsibility. They have no talent and no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

The only way bullies can achieve power is to inflict harm on others. The only way they can achieve satisfaction in their jobs, families, or finances is by steamrolling people.

Bullies are so inept they can’t even survive in this world without hurting others. This kind of power is called power over.

Power over is lording it over another person through force, coercion, and trickery. It violates boundaries.

Power over shows no respect or regard. Moreover, it seeks to oppress and block you from all the good things in life- love, peace, success, happiness- freedom.

In power over there is a winner (the bully) and a loser (the victim). It is a zero-sum game. Always!Power over is against personal power and it only takes it away.

If you’re a victim of bullying, it’s important that you begin taking steps to take back your personal power. Only then will you be free. And you’ll finally begin living instead of existing.

How to Regain Your Power:

Bullies use Power Over.

What do we mean when we mention, “personal power?” Simple. We mean the ability to influence the events that happen in our lives.

When bullies target you for bullying, they find ways of stripping you of your personal power. Most do this bit by tiny bit.

In other words, they gradually escalate the attacks until they leave you utterly powerless. However, there are simple methods you can use to reclaim your personal power and feel more in control of your circumstances.

9 Ways to Empower Yourself

1. Have a strong set of beliefs and principles.

When you have a strong set of beliefs and principles, you’re least likely to fall for any lies and name-calling your bullies bombard you with. Therefore, you’re least likely to allow them to influence how you see yourself.

Moreover, you won’t make decisions and choices based on their approval. Instead, you will do what you know is best for you and what makes you feel most alive.

3. Be okay with who you are.

Realize that you are perfect just the way God made you. However, know that it’s okay if you want to improve yourself. There’s nothing wrong with becoming a better version of yourself because there’s always room for improvement.

And this goes for everyone. The problem comes when you allow others’ opinions of you to change the way you view yourself.

Never put yourself down because bullies and others are putting you down. No matter what they say or how they act toward you, don’t lose sight of your worth.

Continue to value yourself and refrain from thinking that you should be like someone else. You are you. Be okay with it. Practice self-acceptance and self-love while you improve.

3. How to Regain Your Power:

Follow your goals and dreams.

What is your passion? What are the things you love to do the most? Whatever they are, follow them and do the things you absolutely love to do.

Do what makes you feel alive! Not only will you feel more in control of your life, but you won’t have time to worry about what anyone thinks of you.

Additionally, you’ll be so busy working on your goals and pursuing your dreams that they won’t even be an afterthought. And you’ll be much happier!

But be prepared for others to resist your positive change.

Get ready for bullies to notice the positive change in you and put up some resistance to it. How will they do this? They’ll intensify their attacks.

They’ll ridicule the positive changes you make. Also, they’ll bring up your past.

However, realize that they will do these things because the new you will threaten their power. Moreover, the new happier and more confident you will be something that your bullies won’t be used to seeing.

And it will throw them off balance. But don’t allow the fear of it to stop you. Keep working on you and doing what you love. I guarantee that it will pay off later.

Understand that your bullies have grown comfortable in seeing you depressed, miserable, and beaten down. Moreover, when you begin this positive change, you take your bullies out of their comfort zones.

And most people love their comfort zones and will fight like the devil to stay in them.

4. How to Regain Your Power:

Replace negative self-talk with that which is positive.

In other words, stop beating yourself up. Realize that your bullies and abusers have conned you into believing that you aren’t good enough. But you are good enough and that you’re just as worthy as the next Joe Schmo.

Instead of saying to yourself, “I’ll never be good enough,” say, “I AM good enough now and I’m only going to get better.”

5. Walk away from toxic people.

Toxic people only want to bring you down and keep you there. These people are bullies and abusers. However, they can also be fakes who pose as your friends.

Therefore, know that anyone who even subtly insults you doesn’t deserve one micro-second of your time. You’d much rather be alone than with fake friends who throw zingers and backhanded compliments at you.

You’ll be much happier without them. So,be patient and better friends will come along. I promise you!

6. Get healthy.

When you’re healthy, you’re happy. Get outside and get some sunlight. Don’t forget to exercise. I promise you that you’ll feel so much better! Also, you’ll have more of your power.

Taking these steps may feel strange at first. Trying new things always does. However, with time, it will become like second nature and you will feel so much better about yourself.

You’ll feel stronger, more confident and freer! Now that is power!

Moreover, you’ll be surprised at how quickly your life will improve!

7. How to Regain Your Power:

Expose the bullies by reporting them to a manager or a school staff member.

Understand that bullies and their followers may call you a snitch. However, when it comes to your personal safety, you’re not being a snitch.

You’re only trying to protect yourself by getting the teacher or supervisor involved. This may or may not work. However, it’s always wise to report the bully if you cannot take care of it on your own.

Maybe you’re a small 5′ 4″, 110 pound female being bullied at work by a 6′ 4″, 225 pound gargantuan male. In cases like these, report it to a supervisor or manager and even police, if need be.

8. Turn your pain into power.

What do I mean by this?

You can take any abuse you suffer and use it for the benefit of others. That’s a success! And it’s the best poke in the eye and slap in the face to your bullies and abusers.

I say this because I get plenty of push-back from a few of my old pals from way back when. Think about this. If you speak your truth and your former abusers lash back, it’s because they know they’re guilty.

If they weren’t guilty, they wouldn’t care so much. Also, If your voice wasn’t so powerful and you weren’t telling the truth, your bullies wouldn’t push back so hard.

The reason why you’ve probably gotten a few nasty or threatening messages is that your former abusers know you’re telling the truth. And they’re scared to death that you’ll expose them.

How to Regain Your Power:

Also, here’s another interesting point you probably haven’t thought of.

Your bullies are probably angry that they failed to accomplish their objective. And that objective was to destroy your life.

In other words, they expected you to drown. They just knew you’d crash and burn, and you didn’t!

Therefore, that’s a huge disappointment to them. It’s a blow to their overinflated egos! And now, they’re coming back to try and finish the job.

Therefore, you should welcome their resentment. Why? Because it only shows that they’re desperate.

This should only inspire you to double down on spreading awareness of bullying. And it should encourage you to keep reaching out to other victims with your message.

Moreover, it should compel you to speak to them about why people bully. And you want to call out the tactics and mindsets of bullies and expose them.

And lastly, your bullies’ behavior should make you want to warn victims of the effects of bullying. You must show other victims what to look for. In short, they only light a fire under you.

Another way you can turn your pain into power is to stop calling yourself a victim and refer to yourself as a target instead.

9. Be successful!

Success is the best revenge against bullies. Therefore, work on your goals and pursue your dreams. Go after the life you want!

Then watch your bullies lose their minds as you achieve success after success!

This post was all about how to regain your power so that you can overcome bullying and take control of your life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Power: 2 Categories of Power

2. Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters

3. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

How to Outsmart Bullies: 4 Unconventional Ways to Do So

May 20, 2025May 12, 2025Leave a comment

‘Want to know how to outsmart bullies in ways they’ll never expect? Here are the sneakiest ways you can do it!

There are ways to outsmart bullies that most people don’t think about.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to outsmart bullies in the sneakiest ways so that you can lure them out in the open and finally expose them for the creeps they are.

Once you learn all these clever tricks, you will be better able to trick your bullies into outing themselves. Moreover, you will not only have the possibility of exonerating yourself and repairing your unfairly ruined reputation, you’ll also be able to defend yourself more effectively.

This post is all about how to outsmart bullies so that you can take back your personal power and your life.

How to Outsmart Bullies

When you trick your bullies, the last thing you won’t to do is to make it obvious. Therefore, here are the sneakiest ways to out your bullies so that you can keep yourself safe while you use your bag of tricks.

1. Draw Your Enemies Out in the Open

We think we know all the people in our lives, especially those closest to us. However, many are not who they make us think they are.

In life, there will be fakers and imposters. There will be those who infiltrate your inner circle and pretend to be your friends.

These people will seem to latch onto you like a tick to a dog. Then, they’ll figure out everything about you. They’ll suss out your soft spots and most intimate details of your life. T

Moreover, they’ll discover what your goals, dreams and plans are. Then these creeps will work behind the scenes to sabotage and crush you.

But what if I told you that there is a clever way to flush out all the rats? Before we go any further, be forewarned. This won’t be easy.

In fact, it just might be the hardest thing to do. Why? Because it requires unshakeable confidence and self-belief. Here’s what I’m talking about.

How to Outsmart Bullies:

Draw your bullies out by appearing weak.

Sometimes, you must play the loser and appear weak to make the people around you feel safe. Only then can you draw them out and trick them into removing their fake husks. This is what you do anytime you have any shred of doubt about a person or persons.

You must realize that when people feel untouchable, they become brazen. And this is when you see their true nature. Therefore, to make them feel untouchable, you must give them the impression that they’ve already won.

I won’t kid you. This will be hard to do because it will feel like a huge blow to your pride. No one wants to look weak. It feels better to appear strong even if you’re not.

It’s a blow to the ego when you’re defeated. Moreover, it’s the same even when we aren’t defeated but appear that way to the rest of the world.

You’ll be ridiculed, your bullies will gloat, and it won’t feel good at all. In fact, it’ll feel terrible, even humiliating at times.

You can also pull this trick on friends you suspect are fake.

However, this is something most people wouldn’t dream of doing. Why? Because, as I just mentioned, it’s downright terrifying.

Very few want to know of any possibility that a long-trusted friend could turn out to be a snake. I get that. It feels so much better (and safer) to live in denial and act as if everything is peachy king.

But trust me, it is only when you’re at your lowest that you find out who’s really in your corner. And those who aren’t, never were.

So, again, if you can make everyone think that you’ve been knocked on your ass, you’ll be surprised at the snakes who shed their skins. Many will reveal themselves, and some will more than likely be people you’d never expect.

Very few people realize who their enemies are until thing get hairy.

How to Outsmart bullies:

When you’re at your lowest, the snakes will shed their skins.

Any time you appear to be at your weakest and lowest, not only will your secret enemies reveal themselves, they’ll also be more emboldened to act against you.

And when they do, they’ll do it openly! And the reason these people will be so open with their dirt is because they’ll mistake you for being too powerless to fight back.

But realize that this is the only way for you to clear the human clutter from your life. And you do it by unmasking it first. After all, you must know who to get rid of beforehand.

If you do this right, you can ensure your safety and peace of mind in the future. Moreover, you can remove any obstacles to your progress. More importantly, you can make yourself available only to the people who are your tried and true friends.

So, in closing, any time you have doubts about a friend or two, do something to make yourself appear weak or down and out. Then see what they do.

2. Fake a Surrender.

If your bullies are extremely powerful, it’s best to fake a surrender if you want them to leave you alone. This may not feel good. However, sometimes, real power comes with swallowing your pride and giving in to them first.

Why? Because if you fight back, you might be fighting an unwinnable war. Showing weakness can be a strength if you know how to do it correctly.

You can get what you can out of the surrender, then fight later when your bullies are not so strong. Believe it or not, bullies do eventually lose power.

You don’t surrender because you give up. You do it to humor them by fooling them into thinking they’ve won.

Understand that bullies love to show dominance and superiority. Therefore, if you make it look like you surrender to them, it’ll be too easy to trick them.

Submitting, for the time being, makes your bullies feel satisfied and powerful. In this, they become easier targets for a later counter-attack.

3. How to Outsmart Bullies:

Use Their Attacks Against them.

You can do this by dragging out the attacks. For example, when they attack you with insults, you simply say, “That’s your opinion,” or “Opinions vary.”

When you do, you will only force the bullies to repeat the attacks over and over again. Therefore, you drag them out until they become boring and redundant.

I won’t kid you; this technique won’t be an easy thing to do. Any time we are attacked, our first instinct is to jab back with attacks of our own. But sometimes that’s not wise to do.

This method can be effective in the workplace. However, it’s much harder and usually takes longer to have an effect. Why? Because adults are more tenacious and stealthier with their bullying.

Respond, Don’t React!

This strategy works much better in the school environment. So, respond. But never react.

And how you respond is with short comebacks like those above. Then walk away and leave the bullies standing there, running their mouths and looking defeated. Why?

Because, when you don’t give them the response they want (which is for you to attack them back by name-calling, yelling, screaming, or cursing), their natural reactions will be to repeat, repeat, repeat like a broken record.

In other words, you force the bullies to repeat the same attacks over a long time. By doing it this way, you force them to wear them out until they get so old and stale that others outside the bully/target dynamic get thoroughly sick of hearing them.

And once people get tired of hearing it, they’ll no longer pay attention to it.

In deploying this neat little method, you expose the childishness of their attacks. You also expose the weakness of the bullies’ position, which they thought was their strength.

Instead of winning others over to their side, your bullies only alienate them. Why? Because people get bored after hearing the same old shit for so long.

4. How to Outsmart Bullies:

Rattle Your Bullies to Expose Them

Sometimes, to expose your bullies, you must rattle them. If you’re not sure how to do it, think Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam!

Getting a bully rattled is as easy as smiling. Therefore, say nothing to them; only look at them and smile like you know something they don’t. I promise you. It’ll drive them nuts!

They’ll ask you what the hell you’re smiling at. Don’t get defensive. Don’t say anything. Just walk away, snickering.

Your bullies will be madly bewildered. They’ll look at each other, wondering why you seem so smug.

Next, they’ll wonder what it is you’re up to, and curiosity will get the best of them. You’ll throw them off! Trust me. Bullies always think you’re up to something when you act this way.

Also, They’ll go on the hunt to find answers like hounds sniffing a trail.

Here’s another possibility. Your bullies may think you’re making fun of them and get super angry. But, all the better for you.

Here’s why:

When someone is really pissed off, they lose the ability to think straight and control their emotions.
When you stir someone up, you throw them off balance. When this happens, they usually screw up and do something foolish.

If they challenge you to a fight, don’t fight unless it’s necessary. You want to get the bully in front of a crowd of people. Then get them so mad they start yelling and throwing a hissy fit in front of everyone.

Your goal is to get them to expose themselves in front of bystanders and those in authority! Oops! BUSTED!

Sadly, this is the only way you can expose a bully by allowing others to see with their own eyes. But before you employ this tactic, be sure that the bully isn’t one who carries a deadly weapon and isn’t criminally violent.

Outsmarting bullies is easy if you know the right tactics to use.

This post was all about how to outsmart bullies so that you can expose them without being obvious and take back your personal power.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them: 5 Ways to Counter Bullying

2. 7 Secrets to Instantly Expose Bullies

3. Outsmarting Bullies: 3 Clever Ways that Expose Them

Imbalance of Power in Bullying: 3 Sources of Power for Bullies

May 16, 2025May 27, 20252 Comments

‘Want to know all about the imbalance of power in bullying? Here are all the sources bullies draw their power from.

Too many victims of bullying don’t know what to do to reclaim their power. They’re at a loss as to where to start.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the imbalance of power in bullying. You’ll also learn exactly what it is that unfairly tips the scales of power in your bullies’ favor.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be able to take back your personal favor and tip the scales back in your favor.

This post is all about the imbalance of power in bullying so that you know where it comes from and you can finally take back control of your life.

Imbalance of Power in Bullying

As most of you know, bullying arises from an imbalance of power. In other words, the bullies have way more power than you do. This is why they selected you as their victim.

However, exactly what is it that determines this power imbalance? Here are 5 sources your bullies get their power from.

1. A Bully’s Power is Your Lack of Knowledge.

You’ve heard people say that knowledge is power. And they’re right. Knowledge is power. Having knowledge is the first step in problem-solving.

Your bullies get their power because you simply don’t know the power you have. To know your power, you must also have knowledge of your goodness, your strengths, and your rights as a human being.

Power you don’t know you have is power you don’t have. In other words, if you don’t know your power, you might as well not have it.

Here’s exactly what you need to know.

You must have self-knowledge. This means not only knowing your power, but also your worth! Furthermore, you must also know your potential and the good things you’re capable of.

You must believe in yourself. And you must realize that you deserve love and respect just as much as the next person

You must know all about human predators. This means knowing all about bullying and how bullies operate. Therefore, have knowledge of he nature, mindset, and tactics of bullies.

In short, you must have self-knowledge and know your enemies. Once you do, their moves and power plays will no longer have any effect on you.

Again, your lack of self-knowledge and that of your bullies is where they draw their power over you. This is why many victims of bullying beg for approval.

However, when you seek approval from others, you only hand over more of your power. There’s a name for this. It’s called, “simping.”

Imbalance of Power in Bullying:

When You Simp, You Only Hand Over Your Power.

Many targets beg for approval, attention, and popularity. And the sad thing is that most don’t realize they’re doing it.

As a result, you’ll only get bullied worse. Also, people lose respect for you. Even bystanders will mistreat you too. And it’ll be because you don’t respect yourself.

Understand that if you don’t respect yourself, no one else will respect you either.

Therefore, you must respect yourself and do it in the early stages of bullying. Because once the bullying has gone on for so long, it will be too late.

And the way to self-respect is to have knowledge of your value and your power. Also, setting boundaries is a way to respect yourself. Know your worth and you will know your power!

And once you do, you will be able to defuse bullying like a champ.

2. Naivete.

Naivete and lack of knowledge are closely related. However, the latter comes more from lack of life experiences.

We all have been naïve at some point in our lives. But over time, we grew and accumulated knowledge. This knowledge came from lessons learned from good and bad life experiences.

This is how wisdom is acquired. Some people become sage quicker and others slower. What counts is that we eventually learn. It doesn’t matter the pace.

However, some people take years to learn. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes, the learning process takes longer due to the environment you’re stuck in.

Maybe you live in a sheltered home. Maybe you have a secure family and home life. Therefore, you believe that all people have goodness in them.

Again, this is not a bad thing. However, it can mark you for bullying and abuse. It can set you up for someone to take advantage of you.

Imbalance of Power in Bullying:

Bullies Can Smell Naivete A Mile Away.

It’s what helps them choose their victims. Any time you’re a target of bullying, you can’t afford to be naïve. Moreover, the sad reality is that most people targeted for bullying are.

And it’s why their bullies selected them in the first place.

When I was young, I was not very smart when it came to people. I believed that all people were inherently good, and I believed it to a fault. I can admit that today.

Therefore, the bullying I suffered years ago wised me up when it came to the duality of human beings.

Most victims hold the same belief. They believe that all people are inherently good. They cannot fathom how anyone could deliberately harm another person without a darn good reason.

In other words, they were raised to believe that things will work out for the best. This is not to say that we shouldn’t think positively.

However, many fail to take into consideration that the world is full of bad people with evil intentions. Also, we live in a competitive world.

And there are people who want to take what we have. There are people who want to hurt us. Failure to realize these harsh truths will only subject targets of bullying to years of abuse.

You must learn to spot bullies before they strike.

Bullies, especially those in power, will always win unless you learn to spot them ahead of time. Moreover, you must learn strategies to counter their attacks.

You can only learn to counter them when you accept the truth that bad people exist in the world.

You must realize that once bullies have their sights set on you, they won’t just disappear. Bullies are very persistent with their goals to harm you and ultimately destroy you.

This is hard to swallow because we all want to believe that all humans are good. However, the fact is that many of them are monsters. Not everyone believes in treating others as they would like to be treated.

When you’re naïve, you’re vulnerable. Why? Because without people-knowledge, you’ll continue to take abuse. Therefore, you must gain knowledge of the bully mindset. And you must learn the motivations and intentions behind each tactic bullies use.

Only then will you be able to protect yourself and keep them away.

3. Imbalance of Power in Bullying:

Bullies also get their power from Your Predictability.

Being predictable is dangerous. Why? Because if bullies can predict your next move, it’s game over.

Remember that most bullies are socially intelligent. They can spot behavior patterns in their victims.

All they have to do is carefully observe you. They look for any patterns of behavior, habits, and weaknesses. Your bullies closely monitor your reactions to everything. They notice what ticks you off, what makes you happy, and what excites you.

Moreover, they study your body language to suss out your moods and emotional state. And when they watch you, bullies leave no stone unturned.

They even scrutinize the way you do things. For example, the way you arrange objects.

Bullies are like bank robbers who case out a bank before pulling off the heist. The robbers get the bank’s layout and search for any vulnerabilities in the security system. Also, they look for any patterns of patrols and the comings and goings there.

Is it any wonder that being targeted for bullying can feel like being under a microscope? Like you’re being watched? It’s because you are!

It’s always best to be unpredictable.

Being too predictable is unwise, especially if a pack of bullies are on your tail. Instead, make it a point to be unpredictable. In other words, do things as randomly as possible.

I know it won’t be easy because we’re all creatures of habit. However, if you do things people don’t expect, you won’t be so easy to figure out.

Therefore, it’s best to be versatile.

If you’re a target of bullying, you want to make it look you have no clear strategy. You must scramble your behavior patterns and your reactions.

This will confuse the bullies and force them to back off. In fact, it’ll scare the hell out of them!

Again, by doing something unexpected, you gain a huge advantage over your bullies. Therefore, when bullies can’t figure out what you’re going to do, it scares them to death.

As a result, they’ll either leave you alone or react out of fear!

Nothing is more frightening than when you make a move nobody would ever expect. It’s the reason natural disasters are so scary because no one knows when and where they’ll hit next.

Moreover, it’s why deer hunters can track down their prey and kill them. They know the habits and behavior patterns of the deer they hunt.

Understand that habits and patterns are the worst things for you. Bullies pick up on your routines and use them against you.

Imbalance of Power in Bullying:

In closing

you must learn to unsettle your bullies by allowing them to see you do things they’d never expect. If a bully launches an attack, you should counter-attack suddenly.

The attack should come without warning. You should hit them in a way they wouldn’t expect, and when they least expect it.

You must purposefully mislead your bullies to trick them into an emotional reaction!

If you’re going to be predictable, don’t stay that way. Do it for long enough that your bullies get used to your patterns.

What you want is to lull them into a false sense of security. Then, you can strike suddenly with something unexpected! And that’s how you get them to leave you alone!

You can find many more ways to reclaim your power here.

This post is all about the imbalance of power in bullying so that you’ll know all the sources your bullies draw their power from. Moreover, with this knowledge, you’ll be able to counter bullying much more effectively.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. False Sense of Power: Real Power versus the Fake Power of Bullying

2. Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some

Bullied for Being Smart? Here are 5 Positive Ways to Look at It

May 14, 2025May 13, 20258 Comments

Are you being bullied for being smart? Here are all the reasons you need to know. And these are reasons you should be proud of.

Many victims get bullied simply because they’re smart. Many bullies are smart too. However, they like to bully anyone who’s intelligence rivals theirs.

If you fall into this lucky category, you will learn all the reasons you get bullied for being smart.

Once you learn these details, you will feel so much better about yourself. At the same time, you will only pity your bullies.

This post is all about the reasons you’re bullied for being smart so that your self-esteem will get the boost it needs.

Bullied for Being Smart

When you have exceptional intelligence, it can attract bullying. However, don’t feel bad about yourself because you have a gift that few others have.

Both a Blessing and a Curse

You have a sharp BS detector and are able to see through fake people. Moreover, you may have the ability to see and behind their meanness. Realize that you have a special gift.

And you can use it to more easily avoid the pitfalls that bullies, shysters, and con artists set up for you.

However, having this gift can feel more like a curse. Although being awake and alert to lies, deceit, and bad intentions is both freeing and empowering, it can also be an excruciating and alienating journey.

Also, it can be lonely, confusing, and frightening. You often struggle as you try to process the insanity around you.

There is a reality that no one talks about. And that is the suffering that often goes along with having this kind of sight. In fact, you may even grieve for what you thought for so many years was the truth.

When you realize that everything you were taught turned out to be lies, it’s the most difficult pill to swallow.

Furthermore, when the people you once trusted and the principles you had turn out to be false, it can flip your life upside down. Its not easy to ditch the beliefs you once held, and the life you once lived.

Bullied for being Smart:

The Truth Hurts

Having your illusions shattered is never an enjoyable experience. However, with growth comes pain and discomfort and it doesn’t stop there.

With these newfound revelations, you will often find yourself grieving again. You’ll grieve the loss of relationships with people you thought were friends. Also, you’ll be disappointed in them because you thought they were smarter.

You’ll feel alone. Moreover, people will ridicule you. And not only by acquaintances and passers by but sometimes by friends and family! You’ll realize that you never had nearly as much in common with them as you originally thought.

Therefore, again, when you grow wise to bullshit, people will judge and mock you. Why? Because they may not see the things you do. Or, maybe, they do see it but don’t want to believe it.

Instead, they’re either living in denial or they’re too chicken to call it out.

You might even grieve the loss of your own ignorance. Why? Because ignorance is bliss and reality is harsh. Moreover, you might find yourself wishing that you were still just as ignorant as they are. Because, if you were, you’d still fit in with them.

Having the sense to see through all the smoke screens can be a lonely road to travel. There’s no sugarcoating it. Once you wise up to the realities of the world and the people around you, life can be brutal!

Bullied for being Smart:

Most People Can’t Handle the Truth

Furthermore, the ability to dive down into the deepest, darkest rabbit holes and to remain functioning in daily life is a skill that we don’t talk about enough.

I’ve lost many people I thought were friends. However, I still consider myself one of the lucky few. Why? Because most of my family and my small circle of true friends? They get it and they get me.

However, many of you aren’t so lucky. You’re struggling with feeling disconnected from your family and friends and it’s as though they exist in another world.

Just know that you’re not alone. Not only are you not alone, but you also have an entire team standing behind you. We may be separated by miles, but we’re deeply connected in purpose and spirit.

So, hold on to your faith and your dignity. Hold onto your truth and stand on it. Continue to be yourself and to press forward.

Know that we’re here and we’ve got you! Most importantly, know that God’s here and He’s got you!

Having the courage to stand up for your beliefs won’t be easy.

Now, more than ever, we must stand up for our God, our beliefs, and convictions. We must be true to ourselves, our hearts, and to the people who love us. Moreover, we must do it boldly and confidently. We must know ourselves inside and out.

In short, we must have the courage to be different. Why? Because the blessings of critical thinking can be dangerous nowadays.

Sadly, in the last ten years, this country has gotten so divided that people have lost family and those who were once close friends. All because they held onto their beliefs, convictions, and traditions.

I’ve lost a few friends myself. However, I’m not afraid to lose people. It’s only God’s way of removing the people who were imposters all along and never deserved to be in my life in the first place.

Hey! I know it’s hard. However, if some of the people you cared about turned on you these last few years, I want you to know that you did nothing wrong. Your beliefs and convictions are yours and you own them. Again, God is taking out your trash for you.

Therefore, sometimes, what is a blessing can feel like a curse. Some blessings require pain and sacrifice. But it’s always worth it in the end. And, who knows? You might end up with much more than you ever lost.

Bullied for being Smart:

Sometimes these things happen so that you’ll see who people really are.

Although quite painful, I truly believe that this last decade was a test. That’s right. It was a test to see if you’re strong enough to stand in your truth, no matter what it may cost you.

Therefore, never be afraid to be yourself, speak your truth, and risk losing people you think are friends.

Why? Because life can reveal so much to you. And among those revelations are the true faces of those you thought highly of.

Moreover, life can shed new light on the true intentions of a few so-called leaders, whom we thought were loyal to us.

Therefore, if nothing else, remember this. You don’t lose friends, you lose frauds.

Here are 5 positive ways to look at it.

1. Bullies always go after the best of The best

Being the best- having smarts, working hard, striving toward goals, and excelling at high levels all come at a high cost. A lot of people will resent you. Moreover, they may try to sabotage you.

You must realize that there’s usually a social penalty for smarts. This also goes for authenticity, hard work, creativity, and ethics. In fact, if you have any positive qualities, bullies will likely give you a difficult time over it.

2. Your bullies only bully you out of jealousy.

Jealousy is why peers don’t nominate you even if you deserve any awards and accolades. Also, it’s the reason they don’t recognize you for your successes.

These people may think you work too hard or too fast. Maybe they feel that you’re too passionate. Others may think you’re too perfect or excessively detailed.

Realize that jealousy, envy, and resentment are often disguised as cold silence and ignorance. However, you must see these things for what they are.

They’re only intentional slights from classmates, coworkers, and superiors designed to hold you back. Peers who are secretly angered by your successes will only undermine by stealth silence.

Why? Because to do it openly would be too obvious. It would look to much like sour grapes. In other words, it would only show that these people feel inferior to you.

And most people are careful not to give off even the slightest stink that they might feel a little inferior.

3. Bullied for being Smart:

You raise the bar for everyone else.

When you’re smart, you tend to excel. You may reach heights no one else can reach. Therefore, you unwittingly raise the bar for everyone else.

For example, blue-collar workers often penalize those for working too fast. Classmates hate other classmates who get top scores. Peers covertly hate those who are record-breakers.

But why?

Again, it’s because any person who breaks records unwittingly raises the bar. Therefore they raise teacher or management expectations for the rest. They create new goals that are much harder to attain.

The best of the best only threaten the rest.

4. Bullies experience your intelligence as their inferiority.

In other words, in you, they see their flaws and imperfections reflected back at them.

Socially, it never pays to be a little too perfect in an imperfect world. You don’t score points by being a ray of light in an environment of dark souls.

To bullies, the feeling that someone else is better than them is uncomfortable. Moreover, it nags at them until they find a way- any way possible, to level the playing field.

Many times, people perceive the best to be the worst.

5. Bullied for Being Smart:

You’re not easy to manipulate.

They know that if they try to manipulate you, they won’t get very far. In other words, your bullies instinctively know that you’re smart enough to see through their mind games and facades.

Moreover, when you have high intelligence, you also know yourself. And to know yourself is to trust yourself. When you trust yourself, you trust what you see and experience.

This means that you’re wise to any lies and abuse when you see them. Therefore, you threaten their power.

Bullies hate anyone who has a chance of outsmarting them.

So, never feel bad for being smart! Ever! Know that your intelligence is a gift, and, that’s how you should look at it!

If you allow your bullies to make you feel bad for being smart, allow me to ask you the following question.

Would you rather be bullied for Being Smart or Pitied for Being a dummy?

I ask this question because many intelligent people try to hide their smarts for fear of bullying and hatred. They let others convince them that, because of their smarts, they come off as know-it-alls.

People tell you to dummy down because you’re “likely to make others feel bad about themselves.” They tell you to tone it down a little or you just might offend some people.

This is total BS!

I want you to know one thing right now! It is not your responsibility to make someone else feel good about themselves. Whether your intelligence offends others is not your problem. Their hatred of you is also not your problem.

Bullied for Being Smart:

Continue to be Your Smart Self

Understand that the reason why your intelligence may offend some people is because they are either jealous, intimidated, or insecure. It’s because of their own unaddressed psychological issues. And they’re only trying to lay their insecurity off on you.

Therefore, realize that your intelligence may tempt some to doubt their own smarts and mental capabilities. Also, it may provoke others to compare themselves to you.

Again, that’s not your responsibility. They are the ones doubting and questioning their own intelligence. They are the ones who are making comparisons.

You aren’t doing these things to them. They are doing it to themselves!

You aren’t responsible for someone else’s feelings.

Again, you are not responsible for another person’s self-esteem. Only they can do the inner work needed to raise their confidence levels. Therefore, if they’re too lazy to do that inner work, that’s on them!

Here’s another point I want to make: The hate that’s directed at you never feels good and can be frightening. But always remember that there’s dignity in being hated. On the other hand, there’s no dignity in being pitied.

Yes, you read that correctly. When people hate you, you still have your dignity. But when they pity you, you’ve lost all dignity and respect!

Others may hate smart people, but they pity the foolish.

Therefore, never hide your intelligence from anyone. Let yourself stand out and shine. And never feel tempted to hide your brilliance because you’re afraid of being bullied, ridiculed, or hated by others. Instead, ask yourself,

“Would you rather be hated for being smart or pitied for being a dummy?”

This post was all about the reasons you’re being bullied for being smart so that you can feel better about yourself and continue being an inspiration to others.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims? Here are Your Answers.

2. What Do Bullies Fear Most? 10 Things that Terrify Bullies

3. How Bullies Gain Power: 9 Astonishing Ways They Do It.

Wallowing in Self Pity: 7 Good Reasons to Stop Doing It

May 13, 2025May 4, 20252 Comments

If you’re a victim of bullying, do you want to know why you should stop wallowing in self pity? Here are all the reasons you need to know.

Too many victims of bullying resort to wallowing in self pity when people bully them. It’s okay to feel hurt and it’s okay to cry. However, when you constantly feel sorry for yourself, you only make life worse for yourself.

Therefore in this post, you will learn why wallowing in self pity is counterproductive and that there are better ways to solve your problems.

Once you learn these important truth, you will seek better ways to overcome bullying.

This post is all about wallowing in self pity and why it’s not good for you so that you can begin handling bullying more constructively.

Wallowing in self pity

It’s okay to cry when someone hurts you. It’s okay to be hurt, angry, and sad. In fact, you need to allow yourself to feel.

Therefore, allow yourself to feel bad. Permit yourself to cry it out. Just don’t unpack your things and live in that dark place.

Never let the cruel words and actions of a bully alter your outlook on the world around you. And don’t allow them to cause you to distrust humanity or yourself!

Know that your bullies’ behavior does not reflect on you! It reflects on the bullies themselves and their issues. I realize that this isn’t always easy.

However, it all comes down to you. You are responsible for your successes and your happiness. Happiness is a choice. It’s not something that magically happens to only certain people.

1. Your bullies are cowards and they’re fighting their own demons.

They’re only fighting the wrong way. And their mistreatment of you is only proof of it.

In most cases, the reason why bullies point out your shortcomings is to distract people’s attention from their own. They’re so afraid that somebody will find out what their weaknesses are.

Bullies are notorious for projecting their flaws onto you to keep other people from seeing theirs. It’s pathetic when you think about it.

And trust me, we all have imperfections. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t. Distraction and projection are how bullies operate.

They would be the top two tactics in the “How To Bully” handbook if there ever were such a guide. Understand that bullies bully out of only, fear and insecurity!

Therefore, never let your tormentors decide how you should feel about yourself. And never allow them to cause you to feel sorry for yourself.

2. Wallowing in Self-Pity:

Self-Pity is not attractive.

In fact, it’s socially repelling! I’m telling you this because there were times when I made the same mistake. And the only thing it did was bring more misery and drive people away.

So, I tried something different. I began countering everything with comebacks, affirmations, and positive thoughts.

When you begin to counter your bullies’ statements, their words won’t have such an effect on your self-esteem. In other words, your new, positive self-talk will become a buffer to the bullies’ insults and name-calling. Therefore, you won’t be nearly as hurt or saddened by it.

No matter what anyone says about you, you must look in the mirror every single day and convince yourself that you’re an awesome person. That you are the best, and sometimes, people treat the best the worst.

Moreover, you may need to have this self-talk every minute of every day. Why? Because you must do it often enough for it to sink in.

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, try positive self-talk. Begin praising yourself for all your good qualities. And know in your heart the good you bring to this world and the blessing you are to the people who love you.

Why? Because the more you love yourself and the less self-pity you live in, the easier it will be to find solutions. You’re worth it! Don’t you think?

3. Life Isn’t fair.

It’s the truth. It never has been and never will be. God deals each of us a hand of cards. Some people get a crappy hand and some, a lucky hand.

However, the trick is to play the hand you’re dealt and to play it wisely. Some people are born poor, some middle-class, and others are born rich.

Some are born with disabilities and others aren’t. One person may have access to certain things and another person may not. It’s the luck of the draw.

Nevertheless, you have the choice of whether to move up, stay where you are, or descend. In other words, if you don’t like where you are, you have the ability to move upward.

It may take a while. It may require years of hard work. But if you want it bad enough, you will do what you must do to achieve it. Complaining only keeps you stuck!

Therefore, empower yourself by ditching the word, “fair.”

4. Wallowing in self Pity:

No one owes you anything. You owe it to yourself.

Whether you’ve been mistreated and cheated, no one owes you anything. However, you do owe it to yourself. You have every right to pursue and achieve happiness. And you can make a good life for yourself.

Only you are responsible for your life

Understand that nobody can achieve anything for you. Therefore, it’s your responsibility to get where you want to go.

Each of us has our own lives to improve and each person is responsible for their own destiny.

5. No one else will improve your life for you.

Governments really don’t care about you. Though they may try to legislate blessings, luck, and chance, they only do it out of their own self-interest.

Moreover, they cannot legislate fairness. You only have yourself to depend on and you should never depend on the government, your school, your parents, anyone else to improve your life.

You must do it all on your own by taking risks and doing the work required to reach your goals. On the other hand, whining and complaining gets you nowhere. Also, anger and bitterness only make things worse for you.

Today, I hear more and more whining, “it’s not fair.” I see people act out and throw tantrums, as if its going to get them somewhere.

Understand that this is victim-mentality. And those kinds of thought processes only serve to keep you down and out.

People need to grow up and accept that the world isn’t all unicorns, rainbows, fairies, and pixie dust. In short, life isn’t fair.

Sadly, I see many victims of bullying do this. Though I hate to admit it, I did the same once upon a time.

The only way you can take back your happiness is to banish the word, “fair” from your vocabulary. Then, work toward your goals. Stop depending on other people and entities to get you what you want.

And once you do, I guarantee that you’ll instantly empower yourself and be much happier.

6. Wallowing in Self Pity:

Complaining won’t help you any.

Moreover, when you whine and complain, you only focus on the problem and not a possible solution. This is why others don’t like, nor do they respect a complainer. If you need to get something off your chest, that’s okay. However, there’s a time and place for it.

Throughout my life, I’ve known such chronic complainers, that complaining seemed to be the default mode for them. They even whined after they found a solution to their problem.

“But it didn’t happen fast enough!” they might have said. To that, I wanted to say, “Hey, buddy! Nothing good comes quickly nor easily! Life’s tough! Get used to it!”

Moreover, I’ve even known whiners who really didn’t want a solution to their problems. They just wanted to gripe, thinking it would get rid of all that pinned-up energy and make them feel better. Sadly, I was guilty of these things when I was young.

whining and complaining always comes from powerlessness!

Understand that complaining comes from weakness. It stems from feelings of powerlessness and a victim-mentality.

Moreover, you only unleash all your anger and frustration. Not that it’s necessarily a bad thing every once in a while. Even the most resilient must vent every now and then.

Everyone has times when they must blow off a little steam. However, when you do it constantly, it becomes a problem.

The people around you will only get sick of listening to it. After a while they will lose respect for you.

Also, complaining invites bullying to come your way. Why? Because bullies will use it as a weapon against you. Therefore, all that complaining becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If you are a victim of bullying, I want you to realize that whining about it, rather than taking action against it, will make you an even bigger target!

Wallowing in Self Pity:

chronic complaining also stems from laziness and lack of personal responsibility.

Hey! I understand how you feel. You have every right to be angry. Being bullied sucks and it hurts. I get that.

However, as I said earlier, complaining comes from powerlessness and weakness. Moreover, it comes from laziness and lack of personal responsibility.

Complaining alone does nothing to solve the problem. You must take action.

On the other hand, if you’re an empath and you hear someone else constantly complaining, it may be tempting to lend the person your ear. This is a bad idea because you’re not helping the person.

You may be enabling them to complain more. Also, you might be setting yourself up to be their go-to person anytime they need to unload.

As a result, the person won’t feel better. They’ll only drain your energy.

7. You only alienate people who might otherwise help you.

In other words, others won’t want to be around you. Moreover, you’ll kill any support you might otherwise have if you took action instead of having a pity party.

Only victims complain, targets take action. You’ll score more points by doing something about the bullying than you will by whining and complaining about it.

When you’re a target of bullying and not a victim, you understand that life doesn’t have to be fair. Moreover, you take action by standing up for yourself and reporting it.

And, in doing that, you empower yourself and continue to stand strong. Therefore, if you have a problem, find solutions.

Instead of consistently whining and complaining, begin taking action. Empower yourself. Be your own hero!

This post was all about wallowing in self pity and why you should take action and find solutions instead.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters

2. How to Overcome Victim Mentality: 5 Proven Mind Hacks

3. Negative Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: 9 Ways it Plagues Victims of Bullying

There’s Always Hope: 11 Things to Remember When People Bully You

May 12, 2025May 11, 20254 Comments

If you’re a victim of bullying, know that there’s always hope and that you can overcome it. Here are several things you need to remember when people bully you.

In this post you will learn that there’s always hope when people bully you. Moreover, you will know that as long as you stay alive, this sad chapter in your life won’t last forever.

Once you learn all these things, you’ll want to fight so that you can look forward to a better future.

The purpose of this post is to assure you that there’s always hope when you’re being bullied. Also, it’s to give you encouragement and let you know that your life won’t always be this way. You can overcome bullying and a wonderful life is waiting for you on the other side of it.

There’s always hope

Things may seem hopeless now. But take heart. You won’t have to deal with bullying forever. Life does get better!

Hope, Your Best Ally Against Bullying

Bullying is a war unlike no other. It’s the fight of your life. It’s a battle in which there’s no clear cut enemy.

Bullying is a situation in which hope is your only ally. Don’t lose it! Because, in losing it, you also lose morale and the strength to keep going.

Hope enables you to look to the future. It gives you strength and the wisdom to know that whatever you endure in the present will eventually pass.

It encourages resilience and gives you the endurance to go on. Hope gives you confidence. And with confidence comes the determination to reach the finish line and win the race.

Hope opens doors. It’s that still, small voice that whispers, “Keep going. You’ve got this!” Holding onto hope fuels success in helping you to attain your goals and desires. It’s the will to persevere during the toughest of times and go after your dreams in life.

Never lose hope. Because if you lose it, there’s nothing left.

There’s Always Hope:

Please Hold On! The Best is Yet to Come!

People may bully you now but they won’t always. Although the bullying is intense- even unbearable, the struggle is only temporary. And I do not say this lightly.

Some of you may be thinking… “But she doesn’t understand! Nobody understands!”

“She’s isn’t suffering, and she doesn’t understand the hell I go through every day at work or at school!”

However, I do. Why? Because, once upon a time, I was stuck in the same spot that you are in today.

I know what it is like to want to smile, laugh, sing, and dance only for others beat it out of you. Also, I understand the pain of wanting to believe in yourself and see your own value.

You try to feel good about yourself, only for others to repeatedly and seemingly deliberately drum into your head that you are nothing.

I Feel Your Pain because I Experienced it.

To want to speak and use your voice, only for people to silence you! You want to just live in peace but others won’t let you.

They only threaten physical harm, further degradation and humiliation. School staff threatens suspension or expulsion. Your supervisor may threaten you with the loss of your job and livelihood.

Moreover, others may sabotage your opportunities! I know all too well the desire to move forward and go places, only for bullies to hold you back.

To want to escape the torment, only to be stuck in a toxic environment with toxic people, against your will! I know the horror of knowing that others curse your very existence and bombard you with death threats.

I know what it feels like to have others force you to sacrifice your own needs and wants for their own satisfaction! And to see others getting gratification and entertainment- all at your expense!

I know what it’s like to be marginalized, shut out, and devalued as a person. Additionally, I know what it’s like to even be slapped, kicked, beaten, scorned, disregarded, walked on!

There’s Always Hope:

“Are you dead yet?”

It is a feeling of being run over by a truck, whose driver then stops, throws it into reverse, and backs over you again. The driver then shifts back into drive and mows over you- yet again. He then stops the truck, opens the door, sticks his head out, and asks, “Are you dead yet?”

Bullies don’t only want to hurt you, they want to destroy you.

And any signs of life- any whimper or movement only encourages the driver to close the door, shift into reverse again, and back over you again. He just keeps running and backing over you until you finally succumb to the trauma and die.

Yes. This is akin to what targets of bullying endure. Bullies want to destroy you. And it seems that they won’t relent until they are sure that they have done just that.

But know this. You will not have to deal with these people forever, and Karma does repay – in spades! If you keep believing in yourself, you will become successful and happy. And when you finally get there, your bullies won’t even matter to you.

The Resilience of The Target of Bullying

Understand that we, as humans, know what we need to nourish and flourish. Therefore, if we’re not getting what we need and want in our current environment, we’ll get it somewhere else.

Targets of bullying are like flowers that lean toward the sunlight to grow. So, if you’re a target of bullying, you will find someplace where you’re accepted. You will find friends. You’ll find love, and you’ll find happiness.

My bullies weren’t able to keep me bullied and broken. After I moved to a new school, their power ended.

I was no longer within their reach. As badly as they wanted to, they couldn’t keep me under their bootheel forever. I moved on to a place with people who accepted me as I was.

Understand that bullies can only keep you down for so long. They can’t do it forever. There’s always somewhere people will accept you – just for being your awesome self. Always remember that. There’s always a better tomorrow!

There’s Always Hope:

If You’re a Target of Bullying, Here’s a Message for You

Many bullied kids (and adults) are dying by suicide. This should hit home with many people because the suicide rate among bullied kids and teens is astronomical!

It certainly hits home with me because I attempted suicide at age fourteen after being bullied for several years. But I survived, and things got much better once I left that toxic learning environment I was bullied in.

Therefore, I want you to know these truths.

1. You can overcome bullying and move on to a better life.

Know that You CAN Overcome Bullying!

You are beautiful! Smart! Awesome! And one day, you will cross paths with people who will see your worth and love you.

Moreover, they will love you unconditionally – just for being YOU! You will find a teacher, school, supervisor, or employer who will see the good you bring to the table. A

These people will view you as the asset you truly are! Don’t give up. You are worth fighting for!

2. The situation you’re in is only one chapter of your life, not the entire book.

Whether you’re being bullied in school or the workplace, know that this is only one chapter. It’s a trial. Therefore, things won’t always be this way.

You’ll move through it and better days will come. I promise!

3. There’s Always Hope:

There are better ways to handle bullying other than taking your own life.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Moreover, if you take your own life, your bullies automatically win!

But as long as you have breath in you, chances are that your life will get better. Moreover, these people won’t always be in your life.

Therefore, don’t let them win. Stay strong and push forward. Know that life eventually gets better!

4. You must love yourself regardless of what others think.

Loving yourself in an environment that hates you is an act of rebellion. Therefore, be a rebel. Continue to love yourself, no matter what.

Why? Because it will pay huge dividends in the end.

5. You are just as good as anyone else, regardless of what people tell you.

All you have to do is believe it with every fiber of your being. Never allow your bullies to make you feel inferior.

Hold onto your self-belief!

6. There’s Always Hope:

You can do anything you set your mind to if you believe in yourself.

Self-belief is powerful! Therefore, if you have a goal, work on it until you achieve it. Don’t give up!

7. You Can educate yourself about bullies.

This means you must learn their mindsets, their tactics, and the damage they can do. Therefore, read and study everything you can about bullying.

The more you know about bullies and how they think and operate, the better off you’ll be. Why? Because knowledge is power! Therefore, the more you learn about bullies, the better you’ll be able to protect yourself against them.

8. Recognize the beginning symptoms of low self-esteem and find ways to fight it.

The key to protecting your self-esteem is to know when it’s about to take a nosedive. That’s the time to double down on your self-belief.

Moreover, it’s also the time for self-care. Therefore, show yourself compassion and do the things that make you feel good. It’s the only way you’re keep your self-esteem healthy.

9. Know that if bullies take your confidence, they can alter the course of your life.

Your life is yours. Therefore, when people bully you, you must fight like the devil to keep your confidence intact.

Why? Because it could be the difference between a life that’s rewarding or a life that’s difficult.

10. There’s Always Hope:

You have more power than you know.

Power isn’t only power you have. It’s also power you think you have. Never allow bullies to fool you into thinking you’re powerless.

Keep standing up to bullies no matter what. That’s how you keep your power.

11. Confidence is the key to a better and more rewarding life.

When bullies are attacking you at every turn, it’s easy to lose confidence. Moreover, it’s easy to lose that positive attitude you once had.

If you aren’t careful, you’ll begin to doubt yourself and give up on your goals.

Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying, I want to encourage you to hold your head high and keep the faith. Stay true to your own heart and follow your dreams. Know that it won’t last forever and one day soon, things are going to change for the better! I guarantee it!

There’s always hope! the purpose of this post is to give you the encouragement you need to stay in the fight and continue looking forward to a better future.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

2. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

3. Encouraging Words for Bullying: You Can Overcome!

How to Deal with Bullies: 7 Do’s and Don’ts You Need to Know

May 10, 2025April 30, 20252 Comments

‘Want to know how to deal with bullies? There’s a right way and a wrong way to handle them. Here are the 7 do’s and don’ts you need to be aware of.

Bullies have all kinds of tactics in their bag of tricks. They have tactics you probably haven’t thought about yet. Moreover, there’s a wrong and right way to deal with them.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to deal with bullies. You will learn the wrong and right ways to handle them so that you know what measures to avoid and which to use.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be better able to make yourself less a target and handle bullies wisely.

This post is all about how to deal with bullies so that you can take care of yourself in any bullying situation.

How to Deal with Bullies

In order to better know the right ways to handle bullying, you must first know what ways to avoid. Here are the wrong ways of dealing with bullying that you need to know.

The Don’ts:

1. Don’t Ask them, “Why”.

Why? Because they will never tell you why they treat you so inhumanely. Understand that keeping you guessing is half the power bullies have over you.

Bullies are notorious for withholding information. In fact, withholding information is a silent bullying tactic all it’s own. Therefore, they’ll never tell you why they bully you.

In some cases, the bullies, themselves, don’t really know why. However, if they did, they probably wouldn’t tell you the truth.

So, why won’t they tell you the reasons they mistreat you?

Simple. It’s to keep you confused and bewildered. Keeping you befuddled is a power all its own. Because when you’re confused, you can’t think clearly.

And if you can’t think clearly, the less likely you are to figure out what to do to escape the bullies and their abuse. Or worse- how to defend yourself, conquer your bullies, and win your power back.

Keeping you confused is a huge chunk of the power bullies have over you.

Understand that bullies will never relinquish their power. Never! And to be truthful as to why they bully you would be like giving secrets to the enemy.

To be honest and tell you what they hate about you would be like giving their power away to you, and they’ll be damned if they ever!

I want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with you. You must know in your heart that you never did anything to deserve the brutal treatment your bullies continuously dish out to you.

They are the messed up ones. They are the ones with the problem. Moreover, they are the ones who will have to answer for what they’re doing one day, either in this life or the next.

Therefore, instead of focusing your attention on trying to find out why your bullies are giving you problems, focus on self-care.

Instead of asking, “Why me?” ask, “What can I do to take care of myself?” or “What can I do to remove myself from the situation?”

Think about what options you have and weigh each of them carefully. Then quietly begin making plans to get out of there as soon and as safely as possible.

2. How to Deal with Bullies:

Don’t give them any apology. Ever!

For anything!

Why? Because bullies will only see your apologies as weakness. And you can never appease a bully. Realize that when you apologize to a bully, you’re taking responsibility for things that aren’t your fault.

And when you give bullies apologies that are undeserved, you take accountability for their deplorable behavior. Furthermore, you’re giving your bullies exactly what they want and they know it.

Bullies and abusers will try to force you to apologize for something you know isn’t your fault. In other words, they’ll try to make you sorry for things that are beyond your control.

Moreover, they’ll even try and make you apologize for something that doesn’t need an apology. Therefore, respond but don’t apologize.

In other words, don’t say, “I’m sorry,” or “I apologize.”

Here are ways you can respond to bullies who pull this crap. And these are very powerful responses. When you use these, you respond to these bullies without accepting blame. You also respond with strength and power.

You’ll get over it.
You’ll be alright.
By the end of the day, this won’t even matter.
It’s no big deal.
This isn’t a crisis. Everything’s going to be okay.

3. How to Deal with Bullies:

Don’t explain anything to them.

When having a conversation with bullies and abusers, they will often try to trick you into explaining yourself to them. This is a trap because, no matter how you much explaining you do, they’ll never accept anything you have to say.

It doesn’t matter how logical your explanation may be, bullies will only pretend that they don’t understand. They’ll only keep challenging and criticizing your explanations just to get you to give even more of them.

Know that they do this on purpose.

You must see this tactic for what it is and what it’s meant to do. It’s all designed to throw you off balance. Moreover, bullies want to keep you running in an endless hamster wheel of explanations and justifications.

Therefore, the important thing to bear in mind is that this is a trick! Bullies really don’t need an explanation from you. In fact, they don’t even want one.

They only pretend to want it. What your bullies really want is to bamboozle you and keep you interacting with them.

Why? Because the longer your bullies can keep you engaging with them, the more chances they have to twist the things you say. Then, they can use them as proverbial bullets to fire back at you later.

Therefore, don’t explain a damn thing to them. You must realize that you don’t own them any explanations. You don’t owe them squat!

How to Deal with Bullies:

Do’s

1. Do stand up to them.

You must stand up to bullies. Never ignore them and never handle them with diplomacy or politeness.

Remember that bullies don’t respond to politeness, diplomacy, or pleasantries. They only respond to strength and power. Therefore, you must communicate to them in the only language they understand.

In other words, you must respond with strength and power! And sometimes that means being brutal!

For instance, physical bullies only understand the language of fists. So, you must be prepared to put up your fists and fight if necessary!

2. Gather your own evidence of bullying.

If you’re a victim of bullying, it’s crucial that you get evidence of it. Keep a daily journal and document the bullying, using the 5W Method.

Also, save any electronic evidence of cyberbullying. Why? Because if they bully you at school or work, they’ll probably find you online and bully you there as well.

Therefore, save any mean and threatening texts, emails, social media posts, and private messages on three or more flash drives.

Furthermore, depending on the laws in your state, you may be able to wear a body cam or record the bullying on a digital audio recorder.

And save any medical records and doctor’s reports if you ever need medical attention because of a physical bully.

3. How to Deal with Bullies:

Report the bullying to authorities.

Report the bullying to the principal, human resources, or the police. If the bullying is happening at work, fill out a grievance form. They also have bullying forms at school that you can fill out.

If all else fails, report the bullying to the police and get a restraining order. They may not do anything. However, the idea is to establish a paper trail.

And be sure to get copies of the paperwork. If there are reports on file and copies of them in your possession, you will establish evidence of a pattern of bullying.

This is a must in case you have to take it to court later.

Here’s another thing I want to mention. When you report bullying, schools and workplaces may try to assure you that they’ll do an internal investigation.

However, most of them don’t. And if they do conduct an investigation, it’s usually a sloppy one. This is why you must quietly do your own investigation.

This may require a lot of work on your part. Moreover, you may have to go through many channels. You will need patience because it will take some time.

But when you’re being bullied, you can’t afford to be lazy. Be proactive. Gather your own evidence. Be your own detective. I guarantee you that it will be worth it in the long run!

In Closing:

There are right and wrong ways to handle bullies. However, if you do everything right, you can overcome bullying. And you can emerge a winner!

This post was all about how to deal with bullies so that you can know what to do and what not to do when you encounter bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying

2. Saying Sorry Too Much: 4 Reasons You Do and How to Stop It

3. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond

Encouraging Words for Bullying: You Can Overcome!

May 8, 2025May 26, 20253 Comments

If you’re being bullied, I want to give you some encouraging words for bullying. Also, you need to know why you deserve better and why the bullying isn’t your fault. Here are some truths you need to hear so that you can feel better and stronger.

When people target you for bullying, you hear mostly destructive and negative words.

Therefore, in this post, you will find encouraging words for bullying so that you can finally see yourself for the wonderful human being you are. Moreover, you’ll realize that the bullying you suffer won’t last forever and there will come a day when you won’t even have to see your bullies’ faces anymore.

Once you learn all about these exciting probabilities, you will feel so much better. Also, you will look forward to a future with true friends who love you for you.

This post will give you encouraging words for bullying that you suffer. Moreover, it will remind you that you, as much as anyone else, deserve happiness and fulfillment. Lastly, it will assure you that what you’re going through is only temporary and that brighter days are ahead of you.

Encouraging Words for Bullying

People may bully you now but they won’t always. Although the bullying is intense- even unbearable, the struggle is only temporary.

I know what you’re going through because I’ve been there. You want to speak and be heard, but you’re only told to shut up by your classmates or coworkers.

You want to just live in peace. However, no one will let you. They only threaten physical harm, further degradation and humiliation.

School staff may threaten suspension or expulsion. HR at work may threaten to terminate you. Your supervisor may also threaten you with the loss of your job and livelihood.

Moreover, others may sabotage your opportunities! I know all too well the desire to move forward and go places, only for bullies to hold you back.

You only want to escape the torment. However, you’re stuck in a toxic environment with toxic people, against your will! I know the horror of knowing that others curse your very existence and bombard you with death threats.

I know what it feels like to have others force you to sacrifice your own needs and wants for their own satisfaction! And to see others getting gratification and entertainment- all at your expense.

Also, I know what it’s like to be marginalized, shut out and devalued as a person. Additionally, I know what it’s like to even be slapped, kicked, beaten, scorned, disregarded, walked on!

**Bullies Don’t only want to hurt you. They want to destroy you!**

It is a feeling of being run over by a truck, whose driver then stops, throws it into reverse, and backs over you again. The driver shifts back into drive and mows over you- yet again.

He then stops the truck, opens the door, sticks his head out, and asks, “Are you dead yet?”
And any signs of life- any whimper or movement only encourages the driver to close the door, shift into reverse again, and back over you again.

Therefore, he just keeps running and backing over you until you finally succumb to the trauma and die.

Yes. This is akin to what targets of bullying endure. Bullies want to destroy you, and it seems that they won’t relent until they are sure that they have done just that.

But know this. You will not have to deal with these people forever, and Karma does repay- in spades! If you keep believing in yourself, you will become successful and happy.

And when you finally get there, your bullies won’t even matter to you.

Encouraging Words for Bullying:

Know that You CAN Overcome Bullying!

You are beautiful! Smart! Awesome! And one day, you will cross paths with people who will see your worth and love you. Even better, they will love you unconditionally- just for being YOU!

You will find a teacher, school, supervisor, or employer who will see the good you bring to the table. And these people will view you as the asset you truly are!
Don’t give up. You are worth fighting for!

There is Life After Bullying

People may bully you now. They may taunt you, call you ugly names and physically beat you. They may humiliate you, and turn others against you. Those around you may make you feel sad, alone, unattractive, and rejected in the present.

But rest assured, it won’t always be this way.

Take it from someone who has been there. I had no friends in middle school nor high school until I finally transferred to my new high school during my senior year.

Once I left *Oakley High School and began attending *Roseburg High School, that’s when life began. And I took back my power and started rebuilding every part of me that my bullies from the old school had torn down.

Leaving Oakley was the free feeling you get after walking away from a toxic and abusive boyfriend.

Encouraging Words for Bullying:

As an adult, my confidence and self-esteem blossomed.

Today, I’m a very happy adult woman and have so much to be thankful for. I have a family of my own. I enjoy my job and am comfortable in my own skin. I’ve accomplished more than I thought I ever would.

I also have grown to love myself- imperfections and all.

I don’t worry about what others think of me, and I permit myself to be me and to say no when I don’t want to get involved in or do something that doesn’t feel right to me.

These are freedoms that I will never again give up. Not without one hell of a fight!

Therefore, don’t Give Up! There’s beauty on the other side of bullying
I want you to know that the bullying you’re subjected to now will not last. And there’s a beautiful life waiting for you once it’s over.

So, whatever you do, don’t give up! Stay your course, and keep fighting. Hold on to your faith and your dignity with everything you have.

It may not seem like it now, but the best is yet to come, and the right people will find you.
Today, I’m surrounded by family and friends who love and accept me for me.

Moreover, I have friends I never have to explain anything to and who love my flaws and quirks along with my good qualities. I’m so secure with being myself that I can make fun of myself and have a good time doing it.

I’m relaxed, worry-free, and best of all, safe! I’ve found my group, and you will find yours. And once you find them, they’ll be well worth the wait!

You’re worth fighting and living for. Don’t give up now. Stick around! It gets better! Much better!

Encouraging Words for Bullying:

8 Things You Must Always Remember If You’re a Target of Bullying

1. It’s Not your fault.

Realize that you can never control someone else’s behavior. People have their own minds and they will do what they want. Therefore, you’re not responsible for anyone else’s actions but your own.

Don’t let your bullies blame you for their bad behavior!

2. There is nothing wrong with you.

Understand that the issue isn’t with you. It’s them. Anyone who sets out to harm someone else always has the problem.

Also, no one is perfect. We all have flaws and quirks. Therefore, embrace yours. Never allow bullies to make you feel bad over an imperfection.

If it’s something that you can change and that you want to change, then change it. However, if you can’t, then accept and embrace it.

3. You don’t have the issue. Your bullies do.

Again, you don’t have the problem. Your bullies do. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be so hell bent on hurting and destroying another human being.

4. Encouraging Words for Bullying:

It’s not about you. It’s about them.

In other words, bullying comes from self-servitude. Bullies bully to hide their own insecurities and keep up an image.

So, it’s about them. They’re only trying to make it about you.

5. You have value.

Everyone has value, even you. Realize that you’re just as good as the next person. You are beautiful just the way you are.

And you’re worthy of love and friendship. There will come a day when the right people come along and they will love you for you.

The things your bullies bully you for now will be the things people love you for later! Even now, you still have people who love you and believe in you.

6. You are stronger and braver than your bullies ever will be.

Bullies are cowards. The reason they bully you is to make themselves look bigger and better than you. Also, they do it to hide their own weaknesses.

Therefore, you are much stronger and braver than your bullies ever will be. Why? Because you don’t have to resort to such meanness. And that alone makes it so.

Keep being your awesome self!

7. You’re more powerful than you realize

You can do a lot more than you think you can. Moreover, you’re much smarter than they give you credit for. Realize that you’re a threat to your bullies’ power.

Also, know that most bullying comes from jealousy, fear, or insecurity. And the best are usually treated the worst.

Therefore, know that you’re here for a great purpose!

8. Life always gets better.

It may not seem like it at present, but life will eventually get better. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

Therefore, please hold on. Don’t give up hope! The best is yet to come!

The purpose of this post was to give you encouraging words for bullying you suffer. stay in the fight. don’t throw in the towel just yet! you never know what the future will bring.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Be Happy Be Yourself: 3 Benefits You Reap When You Stop Caring What Others Think

2. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

3. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

Preserving Your Personhood when Bullied

May 6, 2025April 22, 20254 Comments

‘Want to know all about preserving your personhood when bullied? Here are all the ways you can keep your humanity intact when people bully you.

Being bullied and being stuck with unnecessary labels can very easily cause a person to self-doubt. It causes one not to believe in themselves and in their own abilities.

Moreover, it can also enable that person to trust their own innate intuition if they let it. It blinds you to people who are true. And it completely zaps your sense of who’s for real and who’s fake. Therefore, it causes the loss of ability to avoid dangerous people.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the importance of preserving your personhood when being bullied.

Once you know all about this important information, you will be better able to guard your mental health against bullying so that you can come through it as strong as possible.

This post is all about preserving your personhood when bullied so that you can come through it with as little damage as possible.

Preserving Your Personhood When Bullied

Bullying is a form of brainwashing. It is repeated, repetitious, and occurs over a long period of time. Moreover, it reprograms your mind and convinces you that you’re nothing.

It eventually blinds you to your own worth as a person and to your own beauty. Also, it blinds you to your own intelligence.

It zaps you of your trust in your own abilities and decisions. You fear that anything you say and do will be wrong. Therefore, you keep your talents and gifts hidden from the world because you fear ridicule.

Self-doubt keeps you paralyzed. You hide your true, awesome self. However, by trying to hide your authenticity from others, you unwittingly push yourself down and make foolish decisions.

Therefore, you must avoid this at all costs.

Here’s how you keep your personhood when people bullying you.

1. Stop Caring what people think of you.

Here are questions you need to ponder. Does it really matter what these creeps think of you? Have any of them reached your level? Do their opinions matter? Who are they that you should care what they think? Do their opinions have any bearing on your life?

They probably don’t. So, stop caring about their opinion of you. Opinions are a dime a dozen and they don’t matter. Moreover, your bullies don’t know you on a personal level.

The weight you give to anyone’s opinion should always depend on who holds it and and the relationship you have with them. In other words, the value you give their opinion depends on who they are and how close you are to them.

Therefore, realize that not everyone’s thoughts or opinions are relevant. Anything they say to or about you means squat.

In order for someone to offend you must first value their opinions. And that means, you must first value them. Stop giving your bullies value they haven’t earned!

Realize that your bullies’ hatred only came from a place of ignorance and stupidity. Or, it could stem from bitterness, jealousy or insecurity.

Therefore, take it with a grain of salt. Only value the opinions of God and your closest family members and friends.

When you stop caring what bullies think of you, you stop valuing their opinions. In that, you stop giving bullies value and consideration they haven’t earned. And ultimately, you stop giving them power.

2. Preserving Your Personhood When Bullied:

Be Yourself.

Continue to be yourself. No matter how others may treat you, always take steps to keep your authenticity.

If you have any talents or gifts, display them with pride. Do things that you enjoy and spend extra time with those who love you and lift you up.

You will be surprised at how great you will feel about yourself. Therefore, bullying will have less of an impact on your self-esteem.

Never lose yourself because of a bully.

3. Have the courage to be disliked.

In other words, do your thing even when others don’t like it. Again, be yourself and stand up for your beliefs and convictions.

Have your own preferences and make your own choices. Do the things you love to do. And lastly, follow your own dreams and your heart. Do all of these things no matter who does or doesn’t like it.

When people bully and ridicule you, this is the time to double down in being proud of who you are.

4. Preserving Your Personhood When Bullied:

Love yourself even when others hate you.

No matter how viciously others may treat you, it’s imperative that you do everything possible to hold on to self-love. Why? Because loving yourself is the most important thing you can ever do for yourself.

You must command respect and love from others. Sometimes, this means having the courage to make difficult decisions. The decision to get rid of toxic people, even those you care about isn’t easy.

Still, you must love yourself enough to know when it’s time to let go and walk away. And when you do this, you must come to a place where you no longer care even the slightest about the outcome.

You must love yourself before anyone else can love you. Therefore, give yourself compassion and self-care when others mistreat you.

5. Re-Frame Every Insult Your Bullies Throw At You.

For instance, you’re painfully shy and quiet and bullies mistake those characteristics for fear. You can use your silence to be a good listener when someone needs to talk.

Therefore, see it for the gift that it is. It may gain you close friends because the other person will feel that they’re being listened to. Moreover, they’re sense that you care about them. And when you take an interest in someone and in how they feel, who doesn’t love that!

Here’s another example. You have a small mole that bullies make fun of. Remember that Marilyn Monroe also had a mole just above her upper lip. But her mole was referred to as a beauty mark. Therefore, it ended up being her trademark.

This is how you re-frame people’s insults. You turn them around and mold them into compliments.

6. Preserving Your Personhood When Bullied:

Stand up to Bullies.

You may be afraid to stand up to your bullies and that’s completely natural. Anytime you stand up to bullies, you’re taking a risk.

However, it’s often worth the risk in the end. If your bullies keep coming for you, you mustn’t back down. Unless they have a deadly weapon, keep fighting and fighting hard. Realize that no one has the right to abuse you.

Know that you deserve to be safe and to live in peace. And when bullies try to disrupt your peace, you have every right to stand up to them and defend yourself.

If you don’t take care of yourself, no one else will. Therefore, don’t wait for someone to come rescue you because, chances are, it won’t happen. It’s up to you to take a stand. Your life is your responsibility. That means that standing up to bullies is your responsibility.

Continue to stand up for yourself, because you, as much as anyone else, deserve to live in peace.

7. Guard your self-esteem.

This means refusing to allow your bullies to turn you against yourself. No matter what other people may think of you, you are the only one who knows who you truly are.

Bullies are known for spinning smear campaigns to turn others against you. Why? Because it’s the only way they can make their lies and accusations seem valid.

However, no matter how convincing the bullies may be. No matter how many people believe the lies and rumors, it doesn’t mean the talk is true.

Only you can judge who you really are, nobody else can. I know it’s difficult not to question yourself when it seems that others hate you.

Anyone who finds themselves in this situation would ask themselves, “What did I do?” or “What did I say?” It’s only a natural human reaction to being ostracized.

Therefore, it’s difficult not to blame yourself.

But please, for your own self-esteem, do not blame yourself. Remember that the problem lies with the bullies, not with you. You are not responsible for what is happening to you.

Hold on to your sense of self and guard your self-esteem with your life!

8. Preserving Your Personhood When Bullied:

Set Your Boundaries.

Setting boundaries is your responsibility. No one else will do it for you. Therefore, you must set boundaries any time someone steps over them.

I understand that it isn’t easy. In fact, it’s one of the hardest things to do. Especially after people have bullied you for so long.

They may have brainwashed you into thinking that you’re to blame for their brutish behavior. Your bullies may have even conditioned you to take the abuse and allow them to ride roughshod over you. Or, you may even fear for your physical safety.

However, at some point, you will have to make a choice. You either stand up and defend yourself or you keep taking it and spend your entire life with people jerking you around.

Setting boundaries means saying no when a bully demands that you do something you don’t want to do. It also means calling out someone who tries to abuse you.

Always set your boundaries. It may or may not change the person’ s behavior. But you’ll feel good just knowing that you didn’t just take it lying down.

9. Enforce Your Boundaries.

Boundaries mean nothing unless you enforce them.

Enforcing personal boundaries is much riskier than setting them. This is because, when you set boundaries, you’re only letting people know what they are. Therefore, the only risk to you is of someone challenging those boundaries.

On the other hand, enforcing your boundaries means that you impose consequences to anyone arrogant enough to cross them. Therefore, once a bully or abuser steps over your boundaries, then, it’s time to enforce them.

Sometimes, you must fight back if people insist on harming you. Don’t be afraid to do so. Your self-esteem will thank you later.

Also, you’ll preserve your personhood and your individuality, in the process.

THis post was all about preserving your personhood when bullied so that you can not only survive bullying but overcome it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You

2. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

3. Be Happy, Be Yourself

Seeking Validation: 9 Ways it Only Exacerbates Bullying

May 3, 2025April 29, 20254 Comments

‘Want to know about seeking validation and why it only worsens bullying. Here are all the details you need to know.

Sadly, many targets of bullying seek validation from others. Often, the people they seek it from are mostly those who could absolutely care less about them. Even worse, those they seek approval from are bullies – people who have absolutely zero respect for them.

It’s pretty counterproductive. Don’t you think?

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about seeking validation and why you shouldn’t do it.

Once you learn all about this essential information, you’ll want to avoid such behavior and begin treating yourself with respect.

This post is all about seeking validation, how you can change this behavior, and why you should change it.

Seeking Validation

Most victims of bullying are lonely and others reject them all the time. Therefore, they tend to crawl behind people. Even worse, they crawl behind those who don’t give a damn about them.

Why? Because they have such low self-esteem that they’re willing to trade their pride and self-respect for just a tiny morsel of acceptance.

In other words, they simp for approval! Ewww!

Therefore, if you are a target of bullying and this applies to you, ask yourself these questions aloud:

If these people never gave a hoot about me or my life to begin with, then who are they that I should seek approval from?
Who are they that I must impress?
Are they really so important that I should pretend to be someone I’m not?
Who are they that I have to lie?
Who are they that I must expend so much of my effort and energy for?
Are these creeps people I should chase and crawl up behind?
Who are they that I should beg?

Never Give Anyone Value They Haven’t Earned

Notice those last two questions and the words “chase,” “crawl up behind,” and “beg.” They will immediately jump out at you and may even make you angry.

And you know what? They should. Remember that you’re seeking their approval. Therefore, those three things are basically what you’re doing.

Therefore, never seek approval from bullies, abusers, or anyone who neither respects you nor gives a crap about you. Because, when you do, you are, in a sense, giving them value they haven’t earned.

If, at any time, you must suppress parts yourself to gain validation from another person, you short change yourself. Realize that a bully will never add value or benefit to your life.

Therefore, they haven’t earned the honor and privilege of being in your life. They don’t even deserve to be in your presence.

When you submit to and follow the standards of others for the sake of validation and acceptance, you only lower your own standards.

Seeking Validation:

You Don’t Need the Approval of Anyone Who Isn’t Worthy

Stop busting your butt to gain other people’s approval because their approval isn’t needed. Therefore, their opinions need not apply.

If anyone ever tries to impose their so-called rules on you, you have a right to tell that person to go to hell. In other words, if the person isn’t a parent or well-meaning teacher or supervisor, tell them to go crawl back under the horse-apple they wormed and wiggled their way from beneath.

You have an obligation to yourself not to give them your power. And that’s exactly what you’re giving them when you seek approval from them.

You give them control over your life! That’s something they have no right to. Your power is yours and yours alone.

But once you take back your power by refusing to care what they think, your life will only get better. Take it from me. I’m living proof.

Life begins when you stop caring what people think and begin living life on your terms. Try it. I guarantee that you’ll thank yourself later!

Don’t you know you deserve to be happy?

Too many victims think that sucking up will win them Validation.

Too many targets are bullied for so long they begin to look for any crumb of validation they can find. They think that somehow, kissing up will win them friends and allies.

However, it only does the opposite. It only brings them more bullying and ridicule. It attracts even more users and abusers into their lives.

Seeking Validation:

What else happens when you seek Validation?

1. You lose your freedom and autonomy.

You stop being yourself and doing what you want to do. Why? Because you become a slave to the thoughts and opinions of others.

In a nutshell, you give away your personal power

2. You lose sight of your goals and aspirations.

Why? Because you replace them with goals of being liked, approved of, and favored by others.

And there’s no guarantee that they’ll approval of you. You can’t control the thoughts, opinions, actions, or words of other people.

You are the only person in the entire world that you can control. This is why it’s important that you keep your focus on you. You are your only guarantee.

At the end of the day, all you have is you.

3. You stop being creative.

In that, you only become a carbon copy of someone else. You imitate their style, and their way of thinking and doing things.

Moreover, when you do this, your creativity suffers. It’s much better to be original!

4. Seeking Validation:

You copy others.

In other words, you give up the ability to think for yourself. Instead of having opinions of your own, you conform to the opinions and beliefs that are most popular.

You say what others want to hear and do what others want you to do. Also, you do things how they want you to do them. In short, you allow yourself to be programmed and become a robot!

Understand that not everyone will like you or support you. Moreover, not everyone will want the best for you. Some may, in fact, hate you and judge you harshly.

When you seek validation and approval, you only look for others’ permission. This will leave you feeling controlled and imprisoned. Even worse, it’ll also erode your self-esteem.

Each time you engage in approval-seeking behavior, you lose tiny pieces of yourself until you completely forget who you are.

So, how does approval seeking exacerbate bullying? It does so in 5 ways.

5. IT reduces your value.

People are more likely to bully you if they don’t think you have much value. Approval seeking only reduces your value in the eyes of everyone else.

Why? Because it makes you look desperate. When you seek approval, you’ll do self-demeaning things out of desperation.

You’ll crawl behind people who don’t value you. You’ll make yourself too available. And you’ll people-please and put up with crappy treatment.

Therefore, you’ll take away from your own value as a human being.

6. Seeking Validation:

You end up looking pathetic.

Approval seeking behavior isn’t a good look on anyone. When you’re constantly trying to prove your worth to people, you don’t attract them. You only repulse and repel them.

7. People Lose respect For you.

It’s hard to have respect for anyone who has to beg for acceptance. It’s just a part of human nature. No one respects anyone who begs.

However, when you finally come to a place where you don’t care either way, people will naturally gravitate toward you.

8. You attract users and abusers

People who seek validation and approval are more vulnerable to bullying. In fact, if you have low self-esteem and are constantly looking for validation, you will attract human predators.

Why? Because you will be more likely to do anything for approval. Therefore, you’ll be easy to use and abuse.

Now, do you see why looking for validation is such a no no?

9. Seeking Validation:

Others won’t like you, they’ll only pity you.

There’s a difference between pity and empathy. Empathy is more positive. It’s when you feel the person’s pain and wish you could help them.

On the other hand, there’s a degree of arrogance behind pity. When you pity someone, you don’t care about the other person’s pain and have no desire to help them. You’re just glad as hell that you aren’t in their situation.

In fact, you’re probably glad that you aren’t them. Period! And you want to distance yourself from the person and whatever they’re dealing with.

It’s better to be hated than pitied. Why? Because there’s still a degree of dignity in being hated.

So, how do you break this nasty habit?

1. You start by accepting and loving yourself.

This means accepting all parts of yourself- the good, the bad, and the ugly!

2. Count all the qualities of yourself that you’re proud of.

Everyone has great qualities. Find yours, and list them.

3. Seeking Validation:

Ditch and Switch.

Walk away from negative people who make you feel bad about yourself. And don’t look back! Rid yourself of the haters and naysayers.

Replace them with people who love you and who want nothing but your best. Seek people who lift you up and those you feel safe around.

Ditch those who bellyache and blame others for their misfortunes. And switch to happy people who take responsibility for their lives.

No one wants a copy. They want an original!

You might get a lot of push-back at first. Many people become threatened and angry anytime you make positive changes in your life. Moreover, they may give you tons of grief for it.

However, they only do it because they were benefiting from the old you. There were advantages that came with the you who sought approval. And they don’t want to lose the benefits.

We live in a world full of copies. In other words, most people only conform and seek approval themselves. So, it’s only natural that they lash out at you.

Therefore, embrace the push-back. Keep doing what’s right for you and to hell with what others think!

Only you know what’s right for you. No one else does! So, stop seeking validation. Let go of the need for approval.

I guarantee that you’ll be surprised at how it’ll change your life. And you’ll only thank yourself for it later!

This post was all about seeking validation so that you can recognize the behavior in yourself and make the needed changes.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Seeking Approval: 5 Must-Know Reasons It Worsens Bullying

2. Unhealthy Ways to Deal with Bullying: 11 No-No’s to be Aware of

3. How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: 5 Powerful Steps