Always Speak Your Truth No Matter What They May Call You

Many targets of bullying have had their voices stolen from them. They’re intimidated into keeping silent while others abuse and take advantage of them.

But you can’t bite your tongue forever because it will eventually come spewing out. You will snap and the stress will be as lava pouring out of an erupting volcano. This will become a vicious cycle.

Here’s how it progresses:

The target is calm, and people see this calmness as a weakness. Bullies began to notice how laid back the target is and presume that if they violate his boundaries, there will be no consequences. So, the abuse starts subtly at first- so subtly that the victim doesn’t even notice he’s being abused.

1.Bullies and bystanders: “We’re sorry we forgot to send you an invite to the party Saturday night.”

Target: “That’s okay. Maybe next time.”

Target is mildly stressed.

What the target thinks: “Really? You’re sorry? That’s the fourth time already.”


2. Bullies and bystanders: “You’re such a loser! When are you going to realize that and change your ways?”

Target: “I’m sorry. I don’t want any trouble with you guys.”

Target is angry but manages to hide it.

What the target thinks: “I’m not a loser! I wish you’d go somewhere else and leave me alone.”

3. Bullies and bystanders: “Can’t you do anything right? What the hell is wrong with you?”

Target: “What the hell did I do to you?”

Target is very angry but still manages to stuff it down and bury it.

Bullies and bystanders: ”Just forget it!”

Target: “Fine.”

What the target thinks: “No! You brought it up! Now let’s finish it!”

4. Bystander: “How are you?”

Target is angry and depressed.

Target: “I’m fine”

What the target thinks: I’m angry and depressed, thanks to you!”


5. Bullies and bystanders: “You’re so weak! We’re going to destroy you!”

Target is anxious, furious, and upset.

Target: “Why are you doing this to me? What have I ever done to any of you?”

What the target thinks: “I’ve had enough of your bullsh** and I’m about to go off on all of you! Now back the hell up!”

6. Bullies and bystanders: “Come here! We want to talk to you!”

Target is enraged. And can’t hold back any longer. This is the last straw.

Target: “(Yells) Go f*** yourselves! I have nothing to say to any of you! Now get the f*** out of here and don’t come back! I’m sick of you!”

What the target thinks: “Oh my God! This is so out of character for me! What’s happening to me!”

Bullies and bystanders: “Oh my God! Here we go again! He’s going crazy! He’s lost it! See! I told you he was a nutcase! See? He’s going off his rocker again! Hahahaha!”

And the bullying escalates because the target showed his ugly side and dared to respond to the bullies and their audience in kind. Now, people are using the target’s perfectly justified and normal human reaction to demonize him and make him look as if he’s mentally unstable.

This is why targets must speak out when the bullying first begins. I can’t stress this enough. Realize that these scenarios represent a pattern with bullies and their followers.

Bullies will push you and push you. They will keep digging at you until you snap on them. Then once you bite back, everyone is suddenly offended, and you are deemed the bad guy!

I want you to understand that this is all a part of the bully’s playbook. The more you know, the better you can predict their behavior, and the more you’ll be able to beat these monsters at their own game.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Why It’s Important to Report Bullying When It Happens to You

 I can’t stress enough the importance of reporting the bullying you suffer if you’re a target. Yes, speaking out is scary and yes, it involves taking a huge risk of being retaliated against.

But understand that anytime your bullies retaliate against you for reporting them- anytime they seek to punish you for daring to open your mouth, it only goes to show that they’re only scared to death!

It also shows that they’re desperate, but, more than that, it shows that they’re guilty! Because if they weren’t guilty, they wouldn’t need to retaliate and they wouldn’t need to try and silence you.

Most people still haven’t caught onto this yet, but behind every bully’s retaliation for a target’s reporting their abuse is the fear of being exposed and the knowledge that they’re guilty.

Understand that, though members of authority and bystanders you speak out to may not want to listen to your pleas for help, the truth is that they can never unhear what you’ve told them.

And though they all may cover for the bully and deny they saw any bullying take place, they can still never unsee it. The important thing is for it to reach their eyes and ears.

Think about this. Warplanes always get bombarded with the most flack any time they’re flying over their target- this is when the battle is at it’s absolute worst! You see, the closer the plane gets to the target, the more the enemy will escalate their defensive attacks.

It’s the same with bullies, any time you’re over the target and pegging them on their BS, any time the bullies suspect that you’ve got their number, they will hurl all kinds of insane attacks on you. So, expect it, accept it, and, most importantly, prepare for it.

And if you ever find yourself in this kind of situation, don’t let them shake you. Always remember the warplane analogy and you’ll better withstand the onslaught. Even better, you’ll be able to call it out when it happens.

You’d be surprised how much easier it is to fight against something once you can put a name on it and explain it. A problem that you can put a name on and explain clearly is a problem you can more easily solve.

With knowledge comes empowerment!