Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some

December 16, 2024November 17, 20242 Comments

‘Want to know the signs of a lack of boundaries? Here are the signs you need to set boundaries and how to do it.

When you don’t have any boundaries, others will notice and take advantage of you. Moreover, you triple your chances of experiencing bullying.

In this post you will learn all the signs that you lack boundaries and what to do to establish them. Also, you’ll learn how to set and enforce those boundaries.

Once you learn all these indications, it will prompt you to take the steps needed to win back your autonomy, self-respect, and dignity. Moreover, you will became proactive in improving your relationships, your mental health, and your life.

Lack of Boundaries

When you have no boundaries, it can turn your world upside down. Why? Because you only leave yourself vulnerable to human predators.

In other words, others have no incentive to respect you.

Instead, they’ll make you responsible for their happiness and expect you to overextend yourself for their benefit. This is no way to live and life’s too short.

So,

What are the Signs You need to Begin establishing your boundaries?

1. You have toxic relationships

The people in your life have no respect for you. They only use you for their own benefit. Moreover, they manipulate you to get you to do what they want you to do. And if you don’t do what they tell you, they’ll then find ways to punish you for it.

Toxic people may punish you by refusing to talk to you. Also, they may lay guilt trips on you to make you feel bad.

Therefore, here’s what you do. You start by having no more to do with them. Stop associating with those who use and abuse you. There’s no law that says you have to hang around with them. You must begin making yourself less available and begin taking care of your own needs and priorities.

Moreover, understand that setting boundaries also means enforcing them when the need to do so arises. Also, know that it’s an ongoing process.

This is how you create your value and communicate your worth.

2. Another Sign of a lack of boundaries is that you seem to attract bullies, users, and abusers into your life.

When you don’t protect yourself from human predators, others will notice. And they will try establishing friendships with you just to use you.

Also, bullies and abusers will think they can abuse you and get away with it. Therefore, they’ll come around just to mistreat you and make themselves feel powerful.

Remember that the purpose of setting boundaries is to protect yourself

Therefore, impose consequences for this kind of behavior. In other words, when someone mistreats you, you respond in kind. Also, you cut off communication with them.

3. You hold on to toxic relationships.

Why do you do this? It’s because you have low self-esteem. People have convinced you that your needs and wants don’t matter. Moreover, you don’t think you can ever attain better connections. Therefore, you desperately cling to the very ones who treat you like garbage.

But realize that you must gather the courage to go no contact. You deserve people who uplift you and make you feel good about yourself, not those who bring you down!

You may be alone for a while. However, wouldn’t you rather be by yourself than to be around those who suck the energy out of you?

Understand that it won’t be easy. You may have to wait a while before better people find you. However, know that once you discard those who mistreat you, you make room for those who are healthier and they will eventually come along. I guarantee it!

4. When you have a lack of boundaries, You Repel Healthier People.

Those who are happy and healthy won’t want to be around you. They may even reject you. Why? Because no one wants to be around anyone with low self-esteem.

Realize that people pick up on energy, especially low energy! Moreover, those who have low self-esteem put off low vibrations.

Therefore, happier people would rather be around those who are just as happy as they are.

Start setting boundaries and do it today! The sooner you do, the happier you’ll be, the better vibes you’ll exude, and you’ll start attracting those of higher quality!

5. You’re afraid of conflict and rejection.

You don’t stand up to people because you fear making them angry. Moreover, you’re running from conflict.

However. realize that conflict and rejection are both a part of life. This is a reality that you must accept and expect.

Setting boundaries means that you must embrace the possibility of conflict. And when someone gets offended at your boundaries and decides to lash out, you must face it head-on.

Also, expect things to get worse before they get better. Why? Because those of low integrity will be resistant to your newly established boundaries at first. And why not? They’ve grown quite comfortable with the way things were and they won’t like the change!

Nevertheless, you must continue to stand your ground and not give one tiny inch!

6. You Forgive too much when you have a lack of boundaries.

Forgiveness is a good thing but it doesn’t mean foolishness. In other words, you mustn’t overuse it. Also, you must be selective in who you give it to.

People who are genuine will see it as a second chance to repair the relationship and do better. Whereas, human predators will only see it as weakness and keep doing the same things they’ve been doing.

Therefore, don’t forgive so much.

7. You don’t say no.

Instead, you say yes to things you don’t want to do because you’re afraid of making others angry. Saying no is essential to take care of yourself.

You must understand that your needs are just as important as everyone else’s and you’re not wrong for putting yourself first.

Saying no automatically sets a boundary. “No” is a tiny word but holds enormous power. On the other hand, there is zero power in saying yes.

Therefore, stop being too scared to say no and begin saying it more often. If it offends others, then they aren’t worth having! Ditch those creeps!

8. a lack of boundaries means staying silent when others mistreat you.

If nothing else, know this! No one has a right to abuse you and you are well within your rights to defend yourself when they do. Therefore, don’t be quiet about it. Speak up!

Let the creep know in no uncertain terms that they’re out of line and you will not tolerate their behavior. And say it like you mean it!

You do this by looking them straight in the eyes and using a firm, booming voice. And don’t stop looking at them until they take their eyes off you.

This is how you set firm boundaries.

9. You’re afraid to make Your own decisions.

Why? Because you fear making other people angry. However, realize that only you are living your life, not theirs.

Therefore, who are they to tell you what you can and can’t do? Start making your own decisions. And to hell with them if they don’t like it!

Why should you give a hoot what others think? Tell them to keep their nose out of your business!

10. When you have a lack of boundaries, You apologize too much.

There are some things that just don’t warrant an apology. Period! Others will walk all over you if you overdo the I’m sorries.

Also, they’ll see it as confirmation that you’re in the wrong. Only apologize when you must.

11. You people-Please.

People-pleasing is never good because you place the needs of others over your own. It’s one thing to put your child’s needs ahead of yours. That’s normal.

However, when you put everyone else’s needs first, you place your own needs last.

But why do you do this?

You do it because you don’t want to make people angry or hurt their feelings. But those who are really concerned for you wouldn’t be offended by your taking care of yourself too.

Therefore, you should get rid of those who have a problem with your prioritizing your needs. They’re a waste of your time and energy!

12. When you have a lack of boundaries, you have increased stress levels.

And why not? When you have no boundaries, people use you as a doormat to wipe their nasty feet on.

They use you for their own benefit and disrespect your time. Moreover, they talk down to you and tell you what you can and can’t do. Then, they get angry when you’re not available at their beck and call.

It’s as if you live for their convenience and purposes.

Therefore, buck up! Gather the courage to put an end to their nonsense once and for all! Start telling them no and mean it! And if they have a problem with it, show them the door! Fast!

13. You’re too agreeable.

You are entitled to your own opinions. Moreover, you have a right to voice those opinions. Understand that you aren’t going to agree with everyone all the time. And you shouldn’t.

When you’re too agreeable, others take notice of it and lose respect for you. Moreover, you’ll attract those who will take advantage of you.

Therefore, don’t be too scared to disagree. And if others get offended over it, they aren’t worth your time.

Get rid of them.

14. When you have a lack of boundaries, You lose your sense of self.

In other words, you don’t know who you are anymore. You lose sight of your likes and dislikes because you’re too focused on those of others.

You’re too busy trying to please others that you don’t take time to do things you enjoy doing.

Isn’t it time you got to know yourself again?

Stop trying so hard to please everyone else and increase your self-knowledge. How you do this is to get some boundaries and stick to them.

Get rid of those who ask too much of you and begin doing things to feed your own soul.

15. You Feel Powerless.

In that, you feel used by everyone, which makes you angry and resentful. Moreover, you may feel powerless to stop it.

However, you have more power than you realize. You may be unable to change other people’s attitudes but you do have the choice of whether to keep them in your life.

Therefore, be brave and give those life-leeches the boot! Start living for yourself. Do things that fill your soul and don’t feel guilty for cutting ties with people who don’t appreciate you.

In conclusion:

Setting boundaries is a peaceable thing to do. It allows you to live in harmony with others. Moreover, it protects your peace, happiness, and overall mental health.

Personal boundaries are what everyone needs to live together in a polite society!

This post was all about the negative consequences that come with a lack of boundaries and what you can do to rectify it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

3. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

4. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

5. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

November 25, 2024November 10, 202413 Comments

‘Want to know what you should do if you endure physical bullying. Here are the self-protection measures I and many other overcomers of bullying swear by.

Being punched, kicked, choked, and shoved plagues millions of victims in school, at work, in the neighborhood, and in the home each year.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the physical bully. Moreover, you’ll discover the mindset behind this kind of abuse.

Once you learn all about these types of people, you will be better able to protect yourself against them. Here is what you can do if a bully thinks they’re entitled to put their hands on you.

This post is all about physical bullying so that you can know what’s behind it and how to defend against it.

First, let’s learn the exact mindset and motives of this dangerous type of abuse.

The Psychology Behind Physical Bullying

These types of bullies use force because of an inner sense that they otherwise would have no influence over people. When people dare to disagree with, defy, thwart, or worse, ignore them, they automatically think:

“Nobody will listen to me.”
“I can’t get anywhere with anyone.”
“They don’t value me.”
“They don’t respect me.”
“I can’t get any cooperation out of anyone.”
“I can’t get any satisfaction.”

And the list goes on and on…

This causes them to feel weak and defeated. Therefore, they use force and violence to get their point across because it’s the only thing that works for them.

People who use force Are the Weakest of All

However, that is weakness because people only submit because they don’t want the bully to beat them up. In other words, they never do it because they want to, but to keep themselves safe from harm.

True persuasion or influence is having someone do something for you because they want to do it. When people have a choice and they choose to do something you want, the result is so much more rewarding.

Understand that these bullies see everything as zero-sum: They either have total control, or no control at all. There’s no in-between. If they can’t have complete influence, they feel ineffective and powerless.

People who uses Physical bullying often compare themselves with others.

They see themselves as less effective than others when it comes to persuasion and influence. They feel that they’re no good at getting others to cooperate or at being in command of circumstances and situations.

Therefore, in their intense anger and rage, these bullies shift the blame. They shift blame from their own sense of powerlessness to the behavior of their targets.

In other words, hese people then see their targets as their enemies or adversaries. So, they feel that they must punish and destroy these targets.

Using this kind of Violence for Anything Other Than Self-Defense is Weakness.

“(The target) is wrong for defying me.”
“He never listens to me.”
“She never pays attention to me.”
“That loser is not giving me the respect they owe me.”

When these people shift the blame onto their targets, they are able to blunt the pains of their frustrations and disappointments. Why? Because anger and rage are less unpleasant than sadness and hopelessness.

Again, I want you to realize that this is weakness in and of itself. These individuals may look strong and mighty as they’re beating up on some poor helpless human being. However, what they really are is weak.

In fact, they’re the weakest of all other types of bullies. And it’s simply because they can’t get power any other way. The only way they can get it is to use the fear of physical harm and yes, even murder.

Outside of their use of fear and bodily harm, these bullies are totally ineffective. They have no gift of gab, charm or seductive powers. In other words, they cannot get people to do what they want them to do through the use of persuasion.

those who use physical bullying are No Different Than Rapists

I’ll use rapists as an example: The reason why most rapists rape isn’t only about power over another. Put bluntly, it’s because they couldn’t get sex any other way.

Maybe they have no game- they have a hard time seducing a woman to go to bed with them. It could be that they don’t know how to flirt with or court a woman effectively.

Moreover, they may be creepy or unattractive and women find them repulsive. Either way, they’re a turn off to them, which means that they are ineffective and powerless.

Therefore, the only way they can get sexual gratification is to use force and violence- rape!

Anytime anyone has to physically threaten you to make you do what they want, it only means that you have all the power, not them. Yes, they may beat the crap out of you, but chances are good that you don’t have to resort to that kind of behavior to get your needs met.

And your scratches, bruises, and broken bones will heal. But your bullies’ stupidity and lack of social intelligence, powers of persuasion, and people skills are things they are stuck with- forever!

And if nothing else, remember this! You have a God-given, animal right to defend yourself from harm. If a bully is pounding on you, it’s no use to rely on the school, workplace, and sometimes the law to protect you. You must learn to protect yourself and if that means throwing up your dukes, so be it!

Should you defend yourself from physical bullying by hitting back?

This seems to be the question on everyone’s mind these days, especially in the notoriously politically correct climate in which we live. The media and politicians vehemently discourage fighting violence with violence.

Moreover, you’ll hear statements from others, such as:

“Be the bigger person and walk away.”
“Two wrongs don’t make a right?”

I’ve heard them all.

Using more peaceful solutions, walking away from the bully and reporting it sounds good. However, sometimes peaceful solutions don’t work because they won’t let you be peaceful.

If you don’t stand up for yourself, the bully will only continue to come after you and hurt you. Also, everyone who knows you will see you as a punching bag at school or work and everywhere else.

Why? Because when word gets around that one person can hit you and get away with it, everyone else will think they can too. They’ll peg you as the school or the community whipping boy. That’s no way to live.

In the middle of a physical attack, the last resort is the only option you take.

So, How do you respond to it? here it is:

When a bully physically attacks you, you have a God-given, primal, animal right to defend yourself from being harmed. I state this with full conviction!

Therefore, if a bully hits you first, haul off and knock his block off! And when you do, don’t just give him a love pat. Deck the creep with the strength of your entire body- hit so hard that the bully has difficulty getting back up.

Then unleash a hail of hard licks so that he doesn’t get up. Because once the bully gets up, he will charge you!

Yeah. I know it isn’t the “politically correct” thing to do. But when someone is harming you, all that jazz about political correctness and being the bigger person goes out the window, and the gloves are off.

Make physical bullies Not want to put their hands on you ever again!

The only thing you should think of at this point is how to disable the bully. Additionally, you want to give him such a bad memory that he’ll never even think about coming for you again.

You aren’t a troublemaker or a brute for this, folks! It’s called self-defense!

Again, punch the bully’s lights out! School stuff may suspend you from school, and managers may fire you from work. You may even go to jail for a night or two. However, people are much more vicious with physical attacks nowadays.

Furthermore, if you just let someone smack you around, they’ll only intensify the beatings until they hurt you bad enough to send you to the hospital or worse! And you’d much rather them suspend me, fire me, or take me to jail than to spend a month in the hospital or end up six feet under.

Nevertheless, you may not condone fighting. Although you may need to fight many times in school, you may hate it each time you have to. However, when you’re a 5’4″, 120-pound girl being jumped and most of the time by multiple assailants, it may be your only option.

Also, if you are a small-built male and the attacker is much bigger than you, it’s not the time to play patty-cake. There will be times when you’re boxed in and cannot go anywhere.

When there’s no other choice, it’s either fight or risk your bullies possibly maiming or killing you. Sometimes the last resort is the only way to protect yourself.

You must let the bully know that you’re not the one to mess with and that you aren’t afraid to fight back if necessary.

There will be others who may disagree with this post, and that’s okay. I am very thick-skinned now and rarely do I get offended. I can agree to disagree. But I will do what I have to do to protect my well-being and my life if ever I’m in physical danger.

So, if all else fails, go ahead and whoop that ***!

This post was all about physical bullying and why you should defend yourself against it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

3. Bullying is Abuse: 9 Ways Bullying and Abuse are The Same

4. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

5. Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out: 11 Must-Know Facts about Bullies

Asserting Boundaries: The Pros Outweigh the Cons

July 12, 2024August 12, 202415 Comments

‘Want to know what happens when you begin asserting boundaries? Here are both the pros and cons when you establish your boundaries.

Asserting boundaries is so important and if you’re anything like I was at one time, too scared to do it. Then you’re probably wondering what it is that encourages others to stand up for themselves.

As someone who has overcome the fear of establishing personal limits, I’m giving you all the reasons why you should. Also, I’m warning you of all that happens if you don’t.

You will learn about the importance of asserting boundaries. Moreover, you’re going to learn about the positive and negative results of doing do.

Once you learn about all these things, you will be more encouraged and motivated to assert your rights not to be abused. Also, you will be more emboldened to stand your ground for as long as it takes until you are finally free of bullies and abusers.

This post is all about asserting boundaries so that you can take back your personal power and live in peace and happiness.

Asserting boundaries

Here’s how the pros outweigh the cons:

People will accuse you of having “An Attitude”

Many times, when you begin to set boundaries and refuse to lower your standards, others, especially abusive others, will accuse you of having “an attitude.” This is what will happen once you finally take enough abuse and put your foot down and you should expect it.

Understand you will get that response when you either say no to something you don’t like. Moreover, people will give you the same response any time you refuse to be manipulated or to take abuse.

Therefore, it’s better to accept, even embrace, the reality that others will see you as having an attitude when you stand on your principles.

For example, toxic teachers will call you insubordinate. Abusive managers and supervisors will tell you that you’re not a team player. Also, bullying peers will see you as a ‘difficult’ person to be around, and that’s only a very mild version of what they may call you.

Asserting boundaries helps you separate real friends from the fakes.

Understand that anytime you enforce your boundaries and standards, you threaten the power of your bullies and abusers. Furthermore, you expose the manipulative people in your life through the limits you set.

Therefore, you see them more clearly. Why? Because you force them to tell off on themselves through their reactions.

Through having boundaries and standards, you can better tell the difference between real friends and fake ones. In other words, you can better see which people are truly for you and value your friendship. You find out which ones are only in your life because they want something from you. This is one of the most important pros!

bullies and abusers feel they have carte blanche to abuse you

Like all abusers, bullies feel entitled to devalue you and expect you to “just go with the flow” and not object to it. With these types of people, your healthy boundaries and standards are an insult to them. Why? Because they don’t recognize limits.

In their minds, anything goes, and the world and everything in it is one big free-for-all. In other words, any rules, laws, or limits don’t apply to them.

Bullies and frenemies believe they should have carte blanche to treat you any way they choose. They get super offended when you get enough of their abuse and finally have the courage to put your foot down.

Accept that you will lose people you think are friends when you establish boundaries and standards. And they will often be the people you’d never expect.

But realize that these peoples’ condescension and dismissal are only proof of their discomfort and their only recourse. Bullies can’t handle an assertive person of incredible strength because they can never meet them on their level. These are only a few of the cons.

setting limits allows you growth, safety, and freedom

Also, understand that you cannot grow, be safe, or be free if you don’t set boundaries. In many cases, people go out of their way to prevent targets of bullying from imposing any limits.

It seems that boundaries and standards are okay for anyone else but strictly prohibited for targets.

But realize that you cannot continue to live your life as a doormat. Therefore, you must dig deep and pull out the courage to establish your boundaries, which include,

Physical boundaries

Psychological boundaries

Time boundaries

Material boundaries

Intellectual boundaries

Sometimes you must “Cop an Attitude” to defend your rights.

You are a flesh-and-blood human being who has rights! And sometimes, you must “cop an attitude” to defend those rights.

You must enforce your boundaries from relentless bullies and others who won’t take no for an answer. Also, you must set consequences for those who continue to violate your boundaries after you’ve told them to stop it.

When you set firm boundaries and standards and enforce them, you protect your physical well-being, emotional health, self-esteem, and identity from anyone who seeks to destroy them.

Moreover, you make yourself an individual human being who asserts your right to make your own choices and decisions.

Your boundaries and standards are the invisible fortresses surrounding you with protection. They keep you safe from harm.

When you set boundaries, it means that you don’t allow others to take advantage of you. It also means that you refuse to be a pushover.

In other words, you won’t let other people make you do things that aren’t in line with your goals, values, morals, or convictions. In short, you don’t allow others to manipulate you.

And it requires that you call out anyone who tries to stick so much as a toe over those boundaries.

Be Assertive but not aggressive. Be strong but not overbearing.

You’re assertive but not overly aggressive. You’re strong but not overbearing. When you say no, you mean it, and you say it without feeling guilty over not saying yes.

And when you do say yes to others, you can do it without saying no to yourself.

Sadly, it can be hard to set boundaries and standards, especially when dealing with overly-aggressive bullies who have anger issues. Our first instinct is to protect ourselves any way we can- even if it means we must appease these people to ensure our safety.

Many targets have zero boundaries. They feel that to keep bullies from causing further harm, they must always bend over backward to make sure the people around them feel comfortable and at ease. You should never feel you must live this way!

But here’s the positiive side. Assertiveness builds courage and, with it, your self-esteem.

Not asserting boundaries works only temporarily because bullies and abusers always come back for more.

Many targets don’t feel strong enough to keep invaders out of their bubble. And it’s because of this that they feel like they’ve let themselves down because they didn’t stand up to their abusers.

Moreover, they feel like failures when they’re unable to enforce their boundaries and standards. I’ve been there and, let me tell ya! It’s the worst feeling in the world.

I want you to understand that, no matter what others may tell you or how they may act, it’s okay to refuse their disrespect. It’s okay to say no to bullying.

Know that you owe it to yourself to say stop to those who insist they have the right to cross your boundaries and invade your space. You have every right to disallow others to disrupt your peace. Know that you deserve a seat at the table of life, not one in the corner.

Realize that setting boundaries and standards is not having an“attitude.” It’s your right!

You must accept that toxic people will put up a ton of resistance to any limitations you set in place. Therefore, take this as a given!

The upside is that the resistance you get will give you clues to who your real friends aren’t.

**Resistance is soooo telling! It can help you find out who’s really for your good and who isn’t.**

It’s never smart to be a yes-person. Caring about others is great but caring too much is unhealthy.

You need boundaries and standards because, without them, you subject yourself to living your life on autopilot. Put simpler, you’re a car without a steering wheel- a ship without a rudder!

But with boundaries, you have a rudder, and you can chart your life’s course. The winds and currents may change, and the waters might get rough. You may even go off course, but you’ll still have some degree of direction.

In setting boundaries and standards, you’re not completely powerless over what happens to you. You have some say over your destiny.

That’s why it’s crucial that you stand in your power and speak your truth. Never lower yourself and make yourself less than the awesome person you are. Never settle for less than what you want and deserve.

Put yourself first. Stop being a people pleaser. Stop putting your wants and needs on the back burner to keep others satisfied. Practice self-love and self-care.

Accept that people won’t handle it well and be willing to let them go because they don’t deserve a seat at your table. Once you do, you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how much better life gets and how many people of integrity and sound quality come into your life.

This post was all about pros and cons of asserting boundaries and how doing so can help you take back your personal power and your say in your life’s direction.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

3. How to Respond to Darvo: 7 Powerful Ways to Shut it Down

4. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

5. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

6. How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: 5 Powerful Steps

Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

April 23, 2024July 20, 20248 Comments

Do you want to know about setting boundaries and how it can improve your life and your relationships? These powerful practices have changed my life and they will change yours too.

When you’re too afraid to set boundaries, you hand over your power. In that, you doom yourself to a life of use and abuse. But once you lose that fear and begin taking control of your life, I can attest that things will make a dramatic change for the better.

You are going to learn about the importance of setting boundaries and the best practices you can use to do so.

After you learn about all these practices and techniques, you will no longer be afraid to hold your ground when people try to push your limits. Even better, you will take back control of your life!

This post is all about the best ways of setting boundaries that every victim of bullying should know and use.

3 Best ways of setting boundaries

1. If someone violates your boundaries, speak up.

In other words, tell the person to stop and use body language to convey that you mean it. For instance, you could put your hand out like a traffic cop as you tell them to stop. This is good because it will most likely shock the bully.

However, if they keep it up, raise your voice and tell them, “I said stop it, now!” And when you say it, say it confidently and firmly while looking the bully in the eye and giving him a hard glare. Also, make a power pose (hands on hips and feet shoulder-width apart).

The last thing you want to do is to sit or stand in silence and say nothing. You must let the bully know that you aren’t one who will put up with them.

Remember that, In today’s world, bullies and abusers are everywhere and they will violate your boundaries if you allow them to.

Also, remember that bullies don’t respect boundaries because they don’t acknowledge them. In their minds, you’re the victim and you don’t deserve the same human rights as everyone else.

Sadly, many victims of bullying don’t have the confidence they need to set boundaries. They only keep their mouths shut, grin, and bear it while others wipe their feet on them.

Consequently, this only damages self-esteem and overall mental health. Just as you would protect your physical boundaries, you must also protect your psychological and emotional boundaries as well.

It’s your responsibility to put a stop to the abuse, no one else’s

It isn’t your fault if you’re a target or victim. However, at some point, you will need to make a stand. Do you want to spend your whole life being someone’s footstool?

Don’t continue to suffer in silence and obscurity. You should never allow people to use you as a rug. Realize that if people are bullying you, it is your responsibility to put a stop to the abuse, no one else’s.

Yeah, I know you look at schools everywhere and see anti-bullying policies on their websites and “Stop Bullying” posters on their walls in the hallways. Workplaces even have their own policies against bullying.

But the reality is that most anti-bullying policies aren’t worth the paper they’re written on. Why? Because people in authority rarely enforce those policies. Also, in most cases, the institution will only take the bullies’ side over yours. It happens all the time.

That’s why I stress that if a person is being bullied, it’s their responsibility to put a stop to it.

I understand that setting boundaries is not easy. In fact, it’s one of the hardest things to do. Especially after people have bullied you for so long.

They may have brainwashed you into thinking that you’re to blame for their brutish behavior. Your bullies may have even conditioned you to take the abuse and allow them to ride roughshod over you. Or, you may even fear for your physical safety.

However, at some point, you will have to make a choice. You either stand up and defend yourself or you keep taking it and spend your entire life with people jerking you around.

That’s no way to live. So, again tell the person to stop while using body language and facial expressions that match your words. You’ll be glad you did!

2. Say “No.”

And mean it. Put simpler, if someone asks or tells you to do something that makes you uncomfortable, say, “no.” Then, back it up by refusing to do it.

“No” is a tiny word but has huge power behind it.

However, many of us were raised to believe that saying “no” is rude, self-centered and disrespectful.

Many of us grew up during a time when children automatically owed anyone over the age of eighteen respect. It didn’t matter whether or not the adult was being fair. Neither did it matter if they were self-serving and out to harm us.

Nevertheless, the adults in our lives often forced us to say yes. Abusive ones conditioned us to go against our own rights and welfare, or risk worse punishment.

It was “obey, or else.”

As a result, they ended up molding us into spineless adults. We get used and abused by partners, family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers.

Why? Because, in the past, we were duped into believing that saying yes to everything everyone asks (or demands) means that we’re “good people.” We got the message that being agreeable shows that we’re being “respectful” and that we have “a good attitude.”

Only we ended up learning the hard way that it’s the exact opposite- what it really means is that we become easy targets for human vampires, leeches and predators.

“No” is not an easy word to say.

“No” is not an easy word to say, especially to bullies, abusers, narcissists, and psychopaths. Why? Because they despise it when you tell them no and, chances are that they will become enraged and retaliate.

However, realize that the offense these people take comes from insecurity and the feeling of rejection. It also comes from feeling entitled. This is why they take being told “no” so personally.

However, you must hold firm even if they retaliate, and even if they use tactics of emotional manipulation, such as guilt-tripping. Know that any indignation or anger the other person feels and displays is NOT your responsibility OR your problem.

Don’t cave in and eventually, they’ll give up and go find another stooge.

3. when someone physically attacks you, defend yourself.

To put it bluntly, if someone physically attacks you, you are well within your rights to haul off and punch them back. And when you do, do it with all your strength and make sure to go for that booger box. Hitting a bully in the nose will stun them. Then, when the bully is stunned, unload on them.

Physical violence should be a last resort after all else has failed, that much is true. However, it becomes necessary when someone is physically attacking you and the situation calls for self-defense.

Whether or not to hit back is the question on every bully target’s mind these days, especially in today’s climate of political correctness that we find ourselves in. Politicians, the media, and movies vehemently suggest not fighting violence with violence. You’ve probably heard statements such as:

“Two wrongs don’t make a right.”
“Turn the other cheek.”
“Don’t stoop to the bully’s level.”
And,
“Be the bigger person and walk away.”

However, what if your bully won’t let you be the bigger person? What if your bully has you cornered and you can’t walk away? What do you do then?

Also, what would the person making the statements above do? Obviously, they’re not the one who’s bullied and facing a possible beat down. Therefore, what right do they have to make such statements?

Don’t you just love it when those who know so little talk so much, giving you all this free advice?

speak to the bully in the only language they understand.

Furthermore, bullies don’t understand nonviolent means. They don’t understand talking it out, reasoning, politeness, and diplomacy. The only language they understand is brute strength and raw power.

Therefore, you speak to the bully in the only language they understand.

You throw up your dukes and punch the bully’s lights out. Remember, this isn’t about a competition of “Who’s the Toughest Kid on the Block.” It isn’t about any pissing contest.

What it’s about is protecting yourself. It’s about keeping someone else from harming you and it’s also about safeguarding your physical health and well-being.

Also, it may be about survival. I can’t count the stories I’ve read about school fights where bully victims have been beaten to death. These days, there are countless news stories about bullies murdering their victims during a fight.

So, why just let another person use you as their personal punching bag and leave everything up to chance?

This post was all about setting boundaries to help you gather the courage to stand your ground when dealing with bullies and human predators.

Related posts you’ll enjoy: