practicing self-care when people bully you at work

Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You: 10 Ways to Give Yourself Compassion

March 21, 2025March 15, 202533 Comments

‘Want to know how to go about practicing self-care when people bully you? Here are awesome ways to give yourself compassion when you’re being bullied.

If you don’t start looking out for number one, you’ll only continue coming in last! I cannot stress this enough. It’s not selfish to make yourself second to only God. Especially around bullies and people who don’t value you.

Now, don’t get me wrong. If you’re a parent raising children, or you have an ailing mother who depends on you, it’s only natural that you would put your family ahead of yourself- that’s a given. We all have an obligation to our families.

It’s also a given (or should be) that you always put God ahead of everyone else, including yourself. Again, that’s completely understandable, and more than that, it’s expected.

But when you’re in a toxic environment, around people who want to use and take you for granted, understand that you are top priority and to hell with them if they don’t like it.

Therefore, in this post you will learn the 10 ways in practicing self-care when people bully you.

Once you learn all these important tips, you’ll have the tools to show yourself compassion and feel better about yourself.

This post is all about practicing self-care when people bully you so that you can begin putting yourself first and begin to take back your peace.

Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You

Understand that when you’re being bullied in school or the workplace, the only person you have is you! Therefore, be good to yourself. How do you do this?

1. Set firm boundaries

Setting boundaries means saying no. And when you say it, say it early-on and often! Moreover, it means confidently calling out any disrespect. Then, walking away from the disrespectful drama starter without looking back. And this goes even if it’s someone you love and care about.

You have to look out for number one, because, if you don’t, no one else will. In fact, they just might use you as a rug.

So, protect your peace no matter what.

2. Keep in your mind that self-care isn’t selfish.

Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s crucial!

Many people may have conditioned you to think that putting yourself first is selfish. Those people may have called you self-centered for it. Maybe you were raised being told that self-centeredness is a huge turnoff to others. In many cases, that’s true.

Bullies and abusers also tell you this. However, they only say these things to shame you into staying around and silently taking their abuse. Therefore, you must pay attention to context and know when people are gaslighting you with this statement.

There’s a difference in practicing self-care and being self-centered.

Self-centeredness comes with self-entitlement. It involves stepping on the rights of other people and not caring how they feel. It is the root of bullying and abuse.
Self-care, on the other hand, means taking care of yourself without walking on others’ rights. In other words, it means that you know you’re no better than anyone else, but just as good as the next person. It means you know your rights and you’re not afraid to stand up for those rights.

You practice self-care because you hold yourself in high regard. Moreover, you treat yourself like the family member or friend that you dearly love.

It’s funny how quick bullies are to call you self-centered when you stand up to their abuse. Therefore, see it as a part of the bully’s playbook.

Therefore, if you have bullies and abusers who abuse you, always know that if they accuse you of anything- anything at all, you can bet that they are doing it themselves.

So, continue to look out for number one, even if you must find a way to do it on the sly. Don’t you think you’re worth it?

3. Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You

Self-Care May Mean Making Heartbreaking Decisions

Once you choose not to be a target anymore, you may have to make very tough decisions. You will more than likely have to weed certain people out of your life for good.

Moreover, some of those people may even be people you love very much.

You can still love them, ‘nothing wrong with it. However, as much as you may love them, they are not always healthy for you to be around.

It’s a decision many have to make with toxic family members. And it’s very excruciating for them. Why? Because, when someone has to stop talking to a family member, they miss them very much.

In fact, they mourn the person deeply. Even after all the cutting remarks, that family member may have made or the abuse they inflict, the victim still mourns them. It’s akin to having a death in the family.

There’s no pain like mourning someone who’s still alive.

However, you still must cut the person off if they continue to disrupt your peace. It’s the only way you’ll be able to heal and rebuild your life.

If you’re going through something similar, don’t lose heart. Your relationship with your estranged loved one is still repairable. Some stories do have happy endings.

There’s always a chance you’ll be closer than ever later on! Sometimes, it takes a separation to bring people closer. Although painful when it happens, walking away may actually be a great thing and produce awesome results later on.

Anytime you walk away, your value and the other person’s value often go up. Therefore, in time, you both learn to respect one another. Then you love each other even more than you did before.

4. Do the Things You Enjoy most.

The idea is to create positive experiences for yourself that will balance out the bad stuff. Doing your favorite hobbies is a great way to do that.

5. Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You:

Work toward your goals.

If you focus on your goals, you won’t have time to focus on your bullies. Besides, they don’t deserve even to be an afterthought. So, work on your goals and where you want to go.

Moreover, make life all about those things. Keep doing your thing!

6. Treat yourself.

In other words, treat yourself to a good, long soak in the bathtub, or to a makeover. Go to a spa and get a good muscle massage and pampering session.

Focus on your well-being and the more likely you are to heal from bullying.

7. take a trip.

Sometimes, it’s just good to steal away to a beach house on a secluded beach with your family or friends. Also, you can visit an out of state relative.

Whatever you decide, getting out of town helps to bring you out of stagnation and revive you. It also gives you a sense of adventure, and that always lifts the mood. So, pack your things and go!

8. Indulge in your hobbies.

Hobbies not only make you feel accomplished, but they take your mind off your bullies and the bullying you suffered in the past. Therefore, find something you enjoy doing the most and concentrate on it.

Being creative is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Moreover, it helps to remind you that you are good at something and that you have value. Which, you do!

9. Practicing self-care when People Bully You:

kick toxic people out of your life.

In other words, go no contact with anyone who uses or abuses you even a little. Why? Because the little abuses can add up to a huge punch to your self-esteem. Instead, begin keeping company with those who love you and who uplift you.

Spending time with the people who love you the most can be a buffer to your self-esteem. Why? Because it has a way of making up for all the hurt bullies cause you.

It gives you an equal or more amount of positivity in your life. Therefore, hang with those who make you feel best about yourself. Share happy times with them, laugh with them, because laughter truly is the best medicine!

10. work out and eat healthy.

Eating a good diet has ways of making you feel well. This alone can work wonders for your self-esteem. Instead of eating junk that make you feel sluggish, eat proteins and green veggies to energize you.

Also, it pays to exercise every day.

Exercise not only makes you healthier and promotes weight loss and better muscle tone, but it can also be one heck of a stress buster. Whether you like High-Intensity Training with weights or a brisk walk through the park, it increases endorphins and other feel-good chemicals to help you feel better.

Focusing on your physical health is another way to take care of yourself when people bully you.

This post is all about practicing self-Care when people bully you so that you can better protect your self-esteem and overall mental health.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

2. Bullying Support: 7 Resources You Can Reach Out to

3. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

4. How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: 5 Powerful Steps

5. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

June 25, 2024April 2, 202525 Comments

Do you want to know how to go about putting yourself first so that you can live a freer and more peaceful and purposeful life?

Putting yourself first isn’t selfish, it’s a necessity, especially if you’re a victim or target of bullying.

Sadly, many people have been conditioned from childhood to believe that putting yourself first is self-centered and greedy. Therefore, they put others before them to such an extent that they end of tolerating use and abuse.

In this post, you will learn the importance of putting yourself first. Also, you will learn the best, most time-tested self-care practices and how to practice them free of shame.

After learning these things, you will more readily prioritize your own needs. Best of all, you won’t feel any quilt nor shame when it’s time to take care of you.

This post is all about the importance of putting yourself first to help you give yourself the same love you give others, and do it guilt-free.

Putting Yourself First

Before we get into the practices, let’s make this absolutely clear.

Putting others first isn’t a bad thing. It shows that you care about your fellow man and that you’re willing to contribute some good to the world. Therefore, it’s an outstanding character trait to have.

However, many people have been conditioned, often by well-meaning parents, that the polite thing to do is to put others ahead of themselves. That making sacrifices for others shows manners and that they are “good people.”

However, when you overdo that courtesy or you do it at your own expense, that’s when it becomes a bad thing. The problem is that people will come to expect you to be a yes-person and take their crap.

Then, sooner or later, you’ll begin attracting users and abusers and become a doormat.

In taking this advice, many of us found out the hard way that giving too much of ourselves sometimes involved overlooking abuse. Even worse, we found that it didn’t make the mistreatment go away but only encouraged the person to abuse us later.

Growing up, you hear every excuse imaginable:

“Oh, they’re just having a bad day.”

“Maybe they have an abusive or cheating spouse at home.”

“Oh, but you never know what that person is going through.” Blah-blah-b-blah.

A few adults in your family and a few teachers more than likely advise you to,

“Give them a break.”

“Cut so-and-so some slack.”

“Try to overlook him.”

“Oh, but try to put yourself in her shoes.”

“Be reasonable.”

I know how you must have felt. That probably got old very quickly and you eventually grew fed up and wanted to scream,“Um- EXCUSE ME! I’ve been ‘reasonable,’ and the only thing I ever got from it is taken advantage of! Would you be reasonable if this happened to you?!”

Therefore, no matter what anyone tells you, it’s okay to put yourself first. And no law or rule says you have to tolerate unacceptable behavior- from anyone! Ever!

Anytime people mistreat you, then someone advises or forces you to “be nice” or “understand what Joe Blow is going through,” it only means that, subconsciously, the givers of this advice either don’t care about your boundaries, or they’re afraid of making the offending person angrier, and of the situation escalating.

Some people just can’t handle conflict. They are only trying to silence you to appease the person who’s being a total jackass.

These kinds of advice and expectations can do one of either two things to you as you get older:

A. It can program you to be over tolerant of unacceptable and abusive behaviors and set you up for a life of getting bullied by other people.

In other words, you grow up being so afraid of pissing anyone off that you accept any abuse to avoid conflict. You end up living a life of being crapped on by others.

B. It can have the exact opposite effect and give you an “F-you” attitude and a bad case of The Don’t-Give-A-Craps.

Put another way, because others have forced you to accept bad behavior in the past, you become a mean, bitter, and apathetic adult and could care less about anyone. That’s not good either.

Maybe you’re like me, one of the lucky ones. It gives you an equal blend of both. You believe in treating others how you’d want them to treat you and don’t mind lending a helping hand to someone who needs it.

But if for one moment, you suspect that someone is taking your kindness for being a fool, you’ll drop that person like a bad habit and they’re on their own!

Here’s the point. It’s okay to be kind. It’s okay to put others before you, but only in particular circumstances.

Here Are a Few examples.

It’s perfectly fine to give an older adult your chair in a crowded doctor’s office.

It’s okay to get up and offer your seat to a combat soldier in a crowded airport.

In fact, it’s called having respect for elders and servicemen and women who fight for your country.

But never take abuse nor accept excuses for unacceptable behavior. Anytime someone crosses a line with you, go ahead. Respond in kind. Give it back to them because only then will the person realize that you aren’t a doormat and find someone else to abuse.

Realize that you are not selfish or being self-centered. It’s called self-preservation. And now for the habits you must get into to put yourself first.

Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Habits to Practice

1. Set Boundaries and Say No when you must.

You must have boundaries or you won’t have any respect.

Saying no to others automatically establishes boundaries. It also means saying yes to yourself.

By saying no, you give yourself the gift of choice and autonomy. Many people, especially bullies, will demand that you go along with something that isn’t good for you.

Therefore, saying no and putting up boundaries can be essential for your well being. Never say yes to anything that puts you in danger or makes you uncomfortable.

Trust your feelings, be true to yourself, and say “no,” no matter what the cost. This is putting yourself first.

2. Make Time for Yourself.

In other words, make time to rest, relax, be alone, and just chill. Also, make time to pursue your own interests. Work on your goals and put in the work to make your dreams come true. Dedicate 2-3 hours of your day for you-time. And know that you are worth it and you deserve it.

3. Putting yourself first means asking for Help.

Admit it. Sometimes you need a little help. We all do.

Realize that you’re human and you can’t conquer the world. Especially not by yourself. Therefore, it’s okay to ask for help when you need it.

If you need your husband to help you clean the kitchen because you’re not feeling well. Ask him. Or, if you need help with your algebra homework, it’s perfectly okay to ask your older brother to help you.

Besides, all they can do is say no. They aren’t going to shoot you for it. So, learn to take risks. That means asking for help when you need it.

4. Give yourself permission to make mistakes.

Making mistakes is a part of being human. However, it is also how we learn. So, try new things and don’t be afraid of not doing it right the first time. You learn more from mistakes than you do anything else.

5. Putting yourself first also means Doing what you know is right for you.

In other words, make your own decisions. You will have people, especially bullies and haters, who try to butt in and tell you what they think you should do. Don’t listen to their squawking.

Only you can do what’s best for you. Only you know what decisions to make in your life. Do what you feel is best for you.

You may or may not make the right decisions. However, if you make the wrong choices, learn from them. Only you can live your life. No one else can do it for you.

6. Never Concern yourself with other’s opinions.

Realize that most opinions you get from others, especially those from bullies, don’t (or shouldn’t) matter. When you worry about what other people think, you become a slave to them. In other words, they own your butt!

Everyone has an opinion. The only opinions you should be concerned with are those of God, yourself, and the people who love and care for you the most.

This is another lesson in putting yourself first. When you put first your opinions and those of people who love you, you automatically put yourself first.

7. Make time to Do the things you love to do the most.

If that’s travel, then make time for it. If you love playing music, make time for that. When you’re engaged in your hobbies and favorite things, you add meaning and happiness to your life.

There may be those who ridicule you over your hobbies. But realize that people who make fun of your favorite things to do have no hobbies of their own.

Therefore, continue to do the things that fulfill you. It makes life so much more enjoyable and meaningful.

This post was all about putting yourself first so that you can live your life freely and with purpose and meaning.