Category: bullies

narcissistic woman

Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out: 11 Must-Know Facts about Bullies

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Are you a target of bullying? Do you want to know the secrets bullies hope you never find out?

secrets bullies hope you never find out

Bullies may look rough and intimidating on the outside. They may resort to threats of physical, social, and psychological harm to get what they want from you. However, are they really so tough? Fortunately for their victims and targets, there are secrets… secrets bullies hope you never find out.

In this post, you will learn exactly what those secrets are and why bullies don’t want you to discover them. Also, you will learn how to use this information to your advantage.

Once you learn about all these things bullies will never admit, you will be able to see right through your bullies and know the exact intentions behind the evil they do. Moreover, you will be able to predict what your bullies will do next just by watching them.

Even better, you will have the tools to use it against them and to your own advantage.

This post is all about the secrets bullies hope you never find out so that you can turn the tables on your bullies once and for all. You’ll be able to feel good about yourself in spite of how they may attack you simply by knowing where the attacks come from. And your confidence will soar!

Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out

1. Being a bully is WORK!

Believe it or not, bullies must work hard to keep up appearances and to maintain their fake facades. In other words, bullies, especially popular ones, have an image to keep up, and they monitor themselves nonstop, twenty-four-seven.

They must keep up with and remember all the lies they tell to keep their stories straight. Moreover, they often spend beyond their means to look like they have lots of money.

Is it any wonder that many bullies get charged with crimes like embezzlement, fraud, and theft? Most have to steal to keep up!

Therefore, they’re constantly afraid because they fear losing face if any of it ever gets out.

For instance, you may see one of your bullies wearing clothes from department stores like Nordstrom every day. But you may get lucky and notice him pull out a 20 dollar wallet from Walmart. That’s when you’ll know he’s nothing but a poser.

So, find ways to use it against him and to your own advantage. I can think of several and I’m sure you can too.

2. Secrets Bullies Hope you Never Find Out: They aren’t happy people.

They can’t be. Why do you think they bully others?

Bullies don’t feel they can be happy unless they’re bringing someone else, particularly, you, down. The only thing that makes bullies happy is to see you suffering. Therefore, see this as a testament to how miserable they really are.

They do it to feel better about themselves. Moreover, they also do it to distract from their shortcomings and insecurities, and project them onto someone else.

Bullies also bully to make themselves look superior, better, smarter, and more powerful. It takes a miserable person to be a bully.

Many bullies aren’t happy at home. They have stressful marriages and family lives. Or, if they’re in school, they have bad relationships with parents and siblings. Therefore, they feel powerless there.

However, at school or work, many bullies can control others to keep from feeling so powerless.

Therefore, keep your ears peeled and try to find out what their home life is like.

For example, if you’re in a bathroom stall and you hear your bullies enter the restroom. Draw your feet up and listen in on their conversation. You’d be surprised what you find out!

The trick is to find any good ammunition you can use for your own benefit.

3. They’re weak.

Bullies bully because they’re feeble-minded people. They’re loud, obnoxious, and pushy because they don’t have the brains nor social intelligence to get what they want any other way. Therefore, they must use force and intimidation.

Why? Because it’s the only way they can get their wants and needs met. All this makes for a life of drama and conflict. So, smile about it.

4. One of the main secrets bullies hope you ever find out is that They’re insecure.

Bullies constantly worry about what others think of them. This is why they act the way they do. They want to seem perfect because they’re so afraid that if others find out about the real person, they won’t like them anymore.

Bullies want so badly to be liked that they will bully you in front of an audience to score laughs from everyone and get approval.

Therefore, call them out on it. I promise you’ll feel much better once you do.

5. Bullies are jealous of their victims.

Bullies can’t handle anyone else’s success. If you have more wins then them, are better looking,  or are more talented, they’ll make it their mission to make you suffer for it.

Understand that bullies despise anyone who has something they want but do not have. Therefore, they will move heaven and earth to take it from them. And if they can’t take it away, they will punish the person for having it.

However, they would never admit that in a million years. Why? Because jealousy smacks of inferiority and the last thing any bully wants is to look inferior.

So, feel good about the fact that your bullies are jealous of you. It only proves that you aren’t the inferior one here.

6. Bullies are trying to be cool.

Again, they strain themselves to keep up appearances. And bullies know that most people are under the mistaken impression that cruelty is “cool” as long as they aren’t on the receiving end of it.

Therefore, many bullies bully to look cute to any bystanders and witnesses. And sadly, most bystanders are under the misguided belief that bullying is cool.

This should make you laugh because you know they’re not so cool after all.

7. Secrets bullies hope you never find out: They seek approval.

As mentioned earlier, if a bully doesn’t get approval, they feel inadequate. So they bully in front of an audience to get the approval they feel they never get.

Understand that bullies are simps. They only simp to be liked in ways that aren’t so obvious. However, understand that anyone who seeks approval, no matter how they do it, is one needy and pathetic human being.

Therefore, see it for what it is and your self-esteem will skyrocket. Why? Because you’re so awesome that you don’t have to resort to such behavior.

8. They’re cowards.

They’re afraid of looking weak and being bullied themselves. Also, many bullies feel they must act tough to scare you into not fighting back.

However, realize that you should fight back. I’ve seem several bullies bully their victims to the point that the victim finally snapped.

As a result, the victim beat the living daylights out of the bully. Also, on some occasions, the victim whipped the bully in front of an audience.

Therefore, the bully never again bothered the victim and the target finally won respect.

9. They’re fakes, frauds, and imposters.

This goes back to number one and it’s way they work so hard to create an image. Bullies feel they must don masks to hide their true selves.

Again, understand that they do this out of insecurity. Bullies aren’t happy with themselves and fear that their true selves will be exposed.

Just knowing this will keep you out of the doldrums and view your bullies for the losers they are.

10. Secrets Bullies hope you never find out. They Bully to compensate for their weaknesses and shortcomings.

If they can look strong by making someone else look weak they make up for the weaknesses they feel they have. Also, bullies will also run with rich people or the popular crowd because it helps them to forget about the fact that they’re nothing.

Moreover, they feel that this makes up for anything they feel they don’t have.

For example, male bullies who feel they aren’t man enough will often drive around in hot cars and flaunt money to make up for the fact that most decent girls find them disgusting.

Female bullies will often use fashion, makeup, cheap knock-off designer bags, and the latest hairstyles to compensate for the fact that few people like them. Or they may have a bunch of friends and use that to make up for the fact that they can’t get a date.

Who wants to date someone with a haughty attitude?

This should give you a huge pick-me-up!

11. They crave attention.

Bullies love attention and they’ll do anything to get it, especially if they have narcissistic personality disorder.

Also, when a bully sees someone who outshines them somehow, they fear that the person will take the spotlight away from them. Bullies share attention and recognition with no one.

They must be adored at all times by everyone. They feel they have to be at the center of everything and that the world should revolve around them.

Bullies have secrets they don’t want exposed and they’ll move Heaven and Earth to keep those secrets from coming out. Therefore, use this information to boost your confidence!

This post was all about the secrets bullies hope you never find out so that you can use those secrets to boost your self-esteem and use them against your bullies if you need to.

Posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

2. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

3. Acceptance and Tolerance: 5 Best Ways to Know the Difference

4. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

5. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

the perfect victim theory

The Perfect Victim: 9 Traits Bullies Look for in Potential Targets

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‘Want to know why you seem to be the perfect victim for bullies? Here are the characteristics bullies look for in potential targets and how you can turn the tables on these predators.

the perfect victim

If you’re a victim of bullying, you probably ask yourself a thousand times a day, “Why me?” And you’re not the only one who has asked that question.

What you may not know is that your bullies purposefully chose you to bully. Moreover, there are reasons why they selected you as their target.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn one of possible reasons why you seem to be the perfect victim for bullies. Moreover, this post will teach you by listing the exact characteristics bullies look for in potential targets so that you can figure out which trait applies to you.

Once you learn all about these characteristics and why they chose you, you will be able to turn the tables on your bullies and take back your peace, your happiness, your mental health, and your life.

The Perfect Victim

Bullies never randomly choose their victims from a crowd. There are certain criteria they search for and not everyone meets that criteria. This is why it isn’t everyone who gets bullied.

Therefore, when you think of the perfect victim for bullies, what kind of person do you see? A nerdy boy with eyeglasses? A girl with a weight problem?

Granted, these could be factors. However, there are many people who wear eyeglasses and who have issues with their weight that troublemakers never target. Trust me, I’ve known several in those categories who were completely accepted regardless of those things.

Therefore, it’s not about picking those with vulnerabilities that are obvious and people can see from five miles away. Bullies often pursue those who have victim qualities that are nuanced and less obvious.

So, what is it about these victims that attracts human predators?

It’s the weaknesses in their psychological makeup. Now, this is not to say that all targets have mental illnesses. However, there are things about them that instantly attract these human predators.

Here are 9 characteristics that draw bullies like vultures to a carcass. (The traits of potential Victims)

1. Emotional Fragility

When someone is emotionally fragile, they tend to wear their heart on their sleeve. These are those who cry easily. Also, many of them are sullen and have a crappy outlook on life in general.

People who are painfully shy are also bait for bullies. Moreover, those who get angry and flip out easily may also be targeted for bullying, though not often.

The reason bullies choose these types of victims is because they know they can easily get a reaction from them. Remember that bullies love the reaction they get because not only do they get their kicks out of it, but they can also weaponize the victim’s reaction and use it against them.

What do I mean?

Let’s say that harassers pick on a victim who easily loses their temper and the target flips out on them. The bullies can then use the person’s reaction to reverse the roles of victim and offender.

Therefore, it’s the target who gets the blame and thus, labeled the troublemaker and the bullies get off Scot free, even though they are the ones who are the provocateurs.

2. The Perfect Victim:

Sensitivity

Sensitive people also fall into the emotionally fragile category. For example, you can so much as look at them the wrong way and they’ll dissolve into a puddle of tears.

Therefore, bullies will target this person. Why? Because they know the person will break down crying and give them the reaction they’re looking for.

And once the victim starts crying, the bullies not only make fun of the person and call them a crybaby, but they can also use the tears against the target.

How? You may wonder.

They can accuse the target of being “too sensitive,” or a “crybaby” who just needs to lighten up. Therefore, other people will more than likely agree and stop taking the victim seriously. Because, after all, the target just needs to grow up and stop being such a wienie. Right?

3. Weak Personalities

When I say, weak personalities, I’m talking about people who are afraid to be themselves. Also, you have those who constantly seek attention and approval.

Granted, bullies do these things as well, only they’re better at hiding it.

However, when you’re afraid to be yourself and it’s obvious, you will also attract bullies. Realize that this doesn’t make you a bad person. You may come from a home where you aren’t allowed to just be your own person, therefore, you put on a front out of survival.

Therefore, I’m not judging you nor accusing you. What I am saying is that bullies can sniff that out and they will take full advantage if you’re not careful.

Remember that a pack of wolves always target the injured elk in the herd. It’s the same with bullies. They always go after those who are already injured in some way.

Maybe the potential victim has low self-esteem. Or they could suffer from nervousness brought about by a past traumatic event.

Again, bullies are like sharks that smell blood in the water. They’re opportunistic creatures!

4. The Perfect Victim:

Fear and Anxiety

Bullies will select those who are fearful and anxious. These people make good victims because bullies can leverage their fear and anxiety to get what they want. Also, a person who is nervous and fearful is easy to control and dominate.

Remember that bullying is about power and control. And bullies need these types of people to assert superiority over.

5. Loneliness

People who are lonely are especially vulnerable to bullies. Why? Because someone who has either very few or no friends or family is also least likely to have a support network.

In other words, there’s less chance of them having anyone to protect them or speak in their behalf.

Therefore, bullies can easily abuse this person any time they feel like it, with little chance of accountability.

A person who is always by themselves is the perfect opportunity for bullies. Why? Because people who are alone all the time are likely going to be desperate for friends and human connection

This desperation is something bullies can easily exploit for their own evil purposes. Therefore, these people are fertile soil for bullies to sow seeds of abuse and manipulation.

6. The Perfect Victim:

Disappointment

Those who are disappointed in life also make easy targets for bullies. Why? Because bullies can often make empty promises and dangle carrots of any of the things the victim desires to draw them in.

The victim’s desires could be acceptance and friendships, or it could be material things. Whatever the void, the bullies are more than happy to fill it, and for nothing more than to sucker the potential victim into their web.

7. People-Pleasing Behavior

Loneliness, disappointment, and people-pleasing behavior often intersect with each other. Therefore, people-pleasing behavior is a dead-ringer for bullies to exploit.

There are many reasons someone may feel the need to people-please. They may do it for acceptance and approval. Also, the person may do out of a survival mechanism to keep someone from harming them.

Nevertheless, bullies will quickly take notice. Then, they will dangle carrots of friendship and safety to draw the potential victim in, only to exploit them later.

8. The Perfect Victim:

Co-Dependency

All of the above mentioned psychological holes are related and can go hand in hand. Co-dependency is another weakness bullies look for in potential targets.

People may become co-dependent out of loneliness and the craving for approval. Moreover, they may people-please to get the friendship, romance, and approval they desperately seek. Also, these people may have fear and anxiety at the prospect of being alone.

Now, do you see how this works and how many traits on the list intersect with each other?

Therefore, bullies may notice these things and search for ways to suck the person in and exploit these weaknesses.

Therefore, if you have any number of these weaknesses on the list, bullies will be watching and waiting. In fact, they will see you coming a mile away.

Why? Because bullies have a flair for sniffing out anything that plagues the psyche, from loneliness, to low self-esteem, to fear and sensitivity. Bullies have a radar for any kind of insecurity and they will exploit it for their own personal gain or simply to hurt you.

Therefore, take all of this as a warning!

9. Exceptionalism

Exceptionalism is a little different. Yes, you can be an exceptional person and still have some of the above insecurities. However, bullies will also target confident people who are exceptional.

The person may make straight A’s in school or be a music prodigy. They may perform well on the job and get lots of praise and recognition from supervisors and coworkers.

Also, they target those who are goal oriented, highly intelligent, and take responsibility for their lives. Empaths are candidates for hate from bullies as well.

Creative and imaginative people are those bullies love to tear down. Understand that bullies fear their potential and they will try like the devil to kill that good seed before it has time to grow.

But why?

Here’s your answer in one word. Jealousy!

Realize that bullies want to be the top dogs. They do not like to be out-shined. In fact, they despise competition! And anytime you’re exceptionally talented, you steal the spotlight away from the bullies.

Therefore, expect them to victimize you without fail. Because they will just to poke holes in your confidence and self-esteem.

The Perfect Victim

In Conclusion:

If you fall into either one of these categories, let me ensure you that there are ways you can protect not only your body but your mind against the onslaught of bullies.

Therefore, your first line of defense is always, ALWAYS, self-acceptance. And when I say self-acceptance, I mean complete self-acceptance.

You must accept yourself, flaws and all. Moreover, you must be okay with who you are and love every thing that makes you you.

Why? Because when you’re happy with who you are, bullying attacks won’t have near the effect on you that it does if your self-esteem is broken.

In other words, your self-love and self-acceptance will act as your body armor and shield, preventing the psychological attacks of bullies from penetrating.

Therefore, accept yourself. Love yourself and all your imperfections. For we all have them. Even your bullies have flaws.

This post is all about the perfect victim and the characteristics in them that bullies look for and exploit so that you can pinpoint which one you have and take steps to turn the tables.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The Horns Effect: Bully-Induced Bias Against Victims of Bullying

2. How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims? Here are Your Answers.

3. Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target

4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

5. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

25 signs of a toxic person psychology

25 Signs of a Toxic Person

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‘Want to know the 25 signs of a toxic person? Here are the tell-tale indicators that you need to be aware of.

25 signs of a toxic person

One of the first steps in protecting yourself from bullying is to know what types of people you should avoid. Also understand that trusting your feelings is just as important.

Why? Because some people are experts at hiding their true intentions and some things just aren’t so obvious.

In this post, you will learn the 25 signs of a toxic person so that you can protect yourself by knowing who to stay away from

Once you learn all these red flags, you will be able to better shield yourself from evil people and protect your peace.

This post is all about the 25 signs of a toxic person you need to know about.

25 Signs of a toxic person

It’s a good thing that we all have a sixth sense and are able to sense the vibes and energy others put out. This can also work in our favor. The trick is to listen to that innate instinct and trust it.

 You can often tell who they are by the way they talk, behave, carry themselves, and how they treat other people.

Here are the types of people you should avoid altogether

1. taking and never giving

If you find yourself doing all the calling, texting, and the visiting, then, the relationship is one-sided and it’s best to cut the person loose.

2. gaslighting

This is a person who never takes responsibility for their behavior. Moreover, they find everything wrong with you and nothing wrong in themselves.

What’s really bad is that they never have anything positive to say. What’s worse is this person will often put on a gleaming façade of perfection.

At the same time, they throw stones at you and anyone who “rubs them the wrong way.” And when they hide their own shortcomings, they will project them onto you to use you as a distraction from their sins.

Therefore, don’t walk, run! This person is not the least bit healthy to be around!

3. 25 Signs of a toxic person:

They Constantly Criticize

Although this should be a no-brainer, many people are abused for so long they become rewired to take even more of it. However, the fact remains.

Anyone who makes you feel like crap shouldn’t be a part of your life and you should weed them out.

These people constantly criticize you. They seem to have a problem with every thing you do and how you do it. Moreover, they have a problem with how you look, what you wear, the way you keep your house… everything!

It seems they search for things to nitpick. These are folks you want to show the door to, quickly!

4. Stabbing you in the back

The backstabber is someone who is two-faced. They smile in your face but trash you once you’re not around.

Here’s something else to think about. If you have a friend who talks smack about their other friends to you, then you can bet the farm that they’re running their pie hole about you to the same friends when you’re not around to hear it.

 This person will often pretend to be your friend. The sad thing is that you’re usually the last to know.

Therefore, you should never trust this person. Be careful what you share, not only with these people, but with anyone. Never share anything you wouldn’t want anyone to know.

Understand that this person isn’t worth knowing. So, take out the trash.

5. 25 Signs of a toxic person:

They’re a Shallow Hal.

If this person was any more plastic, they’d be a Barbie doll. This person is superficial and is constantly belittling other people’s weight, looks.

Moreover, they may talk trash about the clothes others wear, or the car they drive. So, have nothing more to do with this person.

6. Neediness.

The needy person always seems to be desperately searching for love, friendships, clients, etc. Then he complains when he doesn’t find them.

Moreover, they do this while looking past what’s right in front of their face and forgetting the people who’ve been there for them.

Understand that they aren’t worth your time and you should act as if they don’t exist!

7. Constantly One-Upping You.

This person one ups you every time you tell them of your blessings or anything good you accomplished. In other words, if you took a whizz, this person took two.

If you went out on a date, this person went on two dates- you get the picture.

Therefore, they’re all about themselves and is always trying to outdo you to look better than you. Ditch and switch, baby!

8. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person:

They invalidate your feelings.

Only you can know your inner reality. No one else can possibly be privy to that information.

If someone tells you how you feel, they claim to know the unknowable. Moreover, if they tell you how you should feel, they send the message that you don’t have a right to feel the way you do.

No one has the right to do that to you. No one! Tell them to take a hike.

9. They’re jealous of your good fortunes.

This person is never happy for you when you reach success. In other words, they secretly resent you each time you make an accomplishment.

Moreover, you can always tell because you will accidentally look out the corner of your eye. Then, you’ll see the tiny micro-flashes of contempt, they shoot at you when they think you aren’t looking.

What you need are cheerleaders- real friends around you, not frenemies who resent your successes. Chuck this person fast!

10. They like to stir the pot.

This is a person who loves to sow discord and division among others. They work as a double-agent.

In other words, they like to go back and forth, telling each person what the other said about them. And when the two quarreling people finally come to blows, this scumbag will then stand back and watch with glee as the two duke it out.

Get rid of this creep! Fast!

11. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person:

The Drama Queen

Closely related to the pot-stirrer, this bad egg is a chronic complainer and always seems to be in a jam. Their misfortune seems to be never-ending.

In other words, they have bad break after bad break.

Now, we all have times when we must vent, and we all have bad luck at times. That’s perfectly normal. But when it’s constant, you have to wonder if the person is, somehow, bringing much of it on themselves.

Moreover, they have a problem for every solution. These types are never happy and impossible to please.  In fact, they will blame others for their misfortunes.

More importantly, drama queens and kings also tend to be suspicious of others. They’re the type who think that everyone is out to get them or everyone has ulterior motives.

And if they think everyone is out to get them, they’ll think you’re out to get them too and they will try to get you before you get them.

Additionally, if they have to do any kind of work, they’ll whine and bellyache about it.

Realize that bad moods have ways of spreading fast. No one wants to be around a nosebleed who whines constantly.

Therefore, stay away from this person because they’ll dog your mood.

12. Belittling and ridiculing your goals and dreams

when you talk about your dreams and aspirations, or celebrate an accomplishment, this person will pee all over it.

For example, if you decide to go back to school, your so-called friend will tell you that you’re not smart enough. They may even tell you that you’ll be doomed to fail.

Show this idiot the door because they’ll only drag you down. Even worse, they may cause you to doubt yourself and your capabilities.

13. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person:

They love to gossip.

This individual is a walking tabloid. You’ll see and hear her talking trash about different people and you’ll notice she does it all the time.

Moreover, she tell you everyone else’s business and might even broadcast her own to get you to divulge yours.

Many gossips will even talk about people they don’t know but have only heard about. They always seem to know everything about everyone– everything, short of their bathroom habits.

14. The person is nosy.

 Virulently nosy! This snoop should be considered a twin sister to the gossip.

Why? Because most gossips tend to consistently have their face in everyone’s else’s business.

You will often find them asking others personal questions. They’ll ask them about their finances, how much they get paid. Heck! Some will even ask about their sex life or whether they have one!

Moreover, you’ll find them with their ear to the door, eavesdropping on conversations. Also, you may witness them eyeing others closely, butting in, and inserting their cheap two-cents where it doesn’t belong.

Therefore, it’s best to avoid these people at all costs!

15. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person:

Passive-Aggression.

These people will be those who subtly insult you and make backhanded compliments. In other words, they’ll hurl little zingers your way and make you feel like a total loser.

Moreover, this person is sneaky and should be avoided because if they even think you’ve slighted them somehow, they’ll unless a rash of covert attacks. And you won’t even see it coming until it’s too late.

Also, if they have an agenda and you just happen to be standing in their way, look out! They will make your life a living hell. This person is to be avoided at all costs!

Again, this is the person who doesn’t belong anywhere near you. So, do like Snoop Dog and “drop it like it’s hot!”

16. They make you feel like second choice.

If you have a so-called friend who only wants to talk to or spend time with you when their first option isn’t available, it’s time to walk away.

Don’t be second fiddle. Don’t be somebody’s option B, C, or D. Tell this creep to go pound sand!

17. They only come around when they want something.

Realize that this person doesn’t really love you for you, but only sees you as a convenience. In other words, they only love the benefits your friendship brings them.

These are the kinds of people who only show up when they’re in a jam and they need money, advice, or help with something.

You’re not a bank, you’re not Dear Abby, and you’re not a go-to person when someone needs help with something. Therefore, understand that you’re much more than that.

Sure. It’s great to want to help your family, friends, and your fellow man. Nothing wrong with that. But if they only take advantage of you, it’s time to cut them off and cut them loose!

18. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person:

They put out bad vibes

When we’re around some people we can sense that something is off about them. In other words, we pick up on the vibes and energies they put out that don’t feel quite right.

Always listen to your gut feeling because vibrations don’t lie. Then keep this person at arm’s length!

19. They’re fake.

These types of people are always trying to be someone they aren’t. However, if they aren’t happy with themselves, they won’t be happy with you either.

It’s best to eighty-six their butt! Pronto!

20. The attention-seeker

This person is also calling and texting because they need emotional support. Granted, there are times when we all need it

Also, they may show off.

However, if you have someone in your life who seems to constantly need it, or they’re constantly trying to show out to impress others, it may be time to cut ties. This kind of person is exhausting to be around and you must do what you must to protect your psychological well-being.

21. 25 Signs of Toxic People:

They thrive on manipulation.

This person manipulates the people around them to get what they want. They stretch the truth, tell little white lies and use circumstances to their advantage.

However, if they manipulate others, they’ll do it to you too. Avoid them at all costs!

22. They lay guilt trips.

These types of people will try making you feel guilty for not doing what they want you to do.  Don’t fall for it and don’t capitulate to them. If you don’t want to do something, there’s no law that says you have to.

Avoid this person as well!

23. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person:

The pathological liar

This is a no-brainer. Avoid anyone who’s dishonest because you can never trust them.

24. The control freak

These types want to be in control all the time. They expect you to do everything their way instead of having your own way of getting things done.

Moreover, they want to have control over your life. And they don’t like to ask. They prefer to give orders.

If you have someone in your life who likes to tell you what to do, it’s best to sever ties and preserve your autonomy.

25. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person:

They’re arrogant.

This individual thinks they’re better than you. They’re condescending, patronizing, and look down their nose at anyone they think is less intelligent, has less money, or doesn’t measure up to their standards.

However, realize that their arrogance is only a cover for insecurities. Also, it’s a front to deceive people into believing that they’re better than what they are.

Walk away from this person!

If you want to protect yourself from all kinds of evil people, it’s important to know that anyone who abuses, mistreats, or disrespects you doesn’t deserve to be a part of your life. Understand that people who don’t value you are of no value to you.

 Therefore, take out the trash.

In Conclusion:

You must create your own value, and you do this is by how you allow others to treat you. Therefore, treat yourself well and never settle for people who don’t see your worth.

Realize that it’s not your job to make other people’s lives easier, neither is it your responsibility to make them feel better about themselves.

Therefore, take back your self-respect and your power. Get rid of anyone who shows any of the above signs and save yourself a ton of future heartache.

Again, anyone who seems to suck the life out of you doesn’t deserve to be in your life. Although you can’t control their behavior, you do have a choice of whether to have any more to do with them.

You have more power than you realize. Use it and give these life-leeches the boot!

This post was all about the 25 signs of a toxic person so that you can know who to part with and preserve your self-esteem and overall mental health.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

2. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You

3. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

4. How to Respond to Darvo: 7 Powerful Ways to Shut it Down

5. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

Beating Bullies at Their Own Game: 9 Insanely Easy Strategies

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‘Want to know exactly how to go about beating bullies at their own game? Here are 9 proven and effective tactics every bullied victim must know.

beating bullies at their own game

When bullies target you, it can leave you overwhelmed, confused, and depressed. Why? Because it seems that they knock you down at every turn, then keep you down. However, there are easy ways of beating bullies at their own game. You just need to know how to do it and do it successfully.

As someone who’s experienced it and learned the art of beating bullies at their own game, I’m giving you the nine easy but effective ways to outfox and outmaneuver your bullies.

In this post, you will learn the nine most effective ways to win against your bullies and become virtually invincible to bullies.

Once you learn these so-easy-it-shouldn’t-work strategies, you will rise above your bullies and become your own hero.

This post is all about beating bullies at their own game and the techniques you should use to do it successfully.

Beating bullies at their own game

Let’s get right into it! Here are the nine easy strategies you can use to turn the tables on your bullies.

1. See your bullies’ behavior for what it is, know where it comes from and realize the intentions behind it.

When you really stop and think about it, bullies can crack you up sometimes, can’t they? Or at least they should.

Bullies try to get your attention by making a smart-alicky comment here, a backhanded compliment there. This is a weakness and you can use it as such if you know how.

Many bullies will deliberately stand behind you in the checkout at the supermarket and sometimes a little too close. These are all attention-getting behaviors and if you’re a target of bullying, you’ve probably had people do the same to you on more than one occasion.

However, the funny thing is that when you see the behavior for what it is, where it comes from, and what’s it’s designed to do, you no longer care. And when you no longer care, the behavior ceases to be hurtful nor threatening.

Instead, it becomes boring, then hilarious or it only makes you pity the poor things.

Beating bullies at their own game means realizing that your bullies are miserable and pitiful souls.

Moreover, it must really suck to be a bully. All that expended effort to put on airs and all that hatred and vitriol! Bullies must carry around all that baggage and it only makes them look like the miserable pieces of garbage and not you.

All that negative energy that usually only ends up coming back to bite them later! All that effort to bring you down! And for what?

Attention? Is the meanness designed to intimidate those they find threatening?  Maybe the bullies want to be feared, admired, or adored by everyone. Or, they may think it makes them look big and tough.  They may think their behavior looks cute.

Nevertheless, the end goal is to feel better about themselves and more superior.

Sure. The mean and hateful behaviors of bullies can hurt, no argument there. However, after so long, there comes a point when you no longer give a crap.

Moreover, there comes a time when their behavior loses its potency and no longer has the intended effect it once did.

As a result, the people who bully you only become less menacing, less threatening, and less of an issue until they become downright boring. Then, finally, they become irrelevant.

Any behavior repeated over and over again gets so worn out and overdone until it becomes as stale as a three-day-old pile of shit that has lost its stink.

2. Beating bullies at their own game: Ignore and mock their insults, taunts, and worthless prattle.

Watch the bullies continue the same worn-out behaviors, making arses of themselves. They push a little harder and a little harder to get your attention. They may even use gaslighting to prompt you to get defensive.

Maybe they strategize and change tactics because what they’ve been doing just isn’t working anymore. However, it store bores you to death because, again, you just don’t care.

Therefore, you no longer react to it. You only walk away chuckling and leave the bullies standing there with their mouths hung open.

Again, bullies don’t realize that, after so long doing the same old shenanigans, they eventually reduce their effectiveness and become a real yawn. Moreover, your bullies become so pathetic in your eyes that you can’t help but to shake your head in pity.

So, understand that here are two things bullies hate- being mocked and your refusal to submit or react to their childish taunts and threats.

3. Keep being yourself.

In other words, don’t let their childish behavior change you. Again, this takes re-framing your mindset to see their behavior as an indicator that there is something wrong with them and not you.

Therefore, relax, be yourself, and let the haters hate.

4. Beating bullies at their own game: Keep taking care of yourself.

Put simpler, keep doing the things fulfill you and creating the life you desire. Practicing self-care is of the most importance when people bully you.

Eat right, exercise, take care of your physical and mental health.

The key here is to create your own happiness and well-being.

5. Focus on and take care of the people you love and who love you.

Instead of focusing on the people who could care less about you and want to see you suffer, focus on the people who love you and who lift you up. Usually, these people are your closest family members and friends.

Moreover, realize that those who don’t see your worth shouldn’t live in your head rent free. So, promptly evict them because they aren’t worthy of one ounce of your energy.

Also, work to create happy moments with these people because they love you and want nothing but the very best for you. Attend family gatherings or host them. Take trips with these wonderful souls. Stay connected with your people.

6. Beating bullies at their own game: Pursue your dreams and aspirations.

Work on your goals and focus on the things you wish to accomplish. This is, by far, the best way to handle bullies. Why? Because when you keep your mind on your goals and dreams, you’ll have no time to think about your bullies.

And, if you don’t think about them, they can’t control you. Heck, they can’t even phase you. And that’s a win for you and a loss for them. Remember that bullies try to get your attention. This is the best way to avoid giving it to them.

7. Get out and enjoy nature.

In other words, go for a walk in the woods. Or, you can go to the park and read a good book on a beautiful fall day. Whatever you love to do outdoors, whether it’s lying on the beach or walking your dog on a walking trail, get outside and enjoy nature.

It’s the best way to recharge, relax, and unwind. Also, it drives away depression because it releases endorphins. Moreover, it gives you lots of vitamin D3 from the sun!

8. Learn new things.

In other words, read, write, and look for lessons life can teach you. The point is not to let yourself stagnate. If you’re not learning new things, you stagnate very easily and that only brings depression.

Therefore, always take the opportunity to learn new things. For example, you could take a course or go to the library and check out a good self-help book to read. Whatever way you choose to learn, always strive to acquire new knowledge.

Your mental health will thank you! I guarantee it!

9. Pay them no mind and keep doing you.

When you focus on and do you, it frustrates and annoys bullies because you’re focusing on yourself and your goals and not them. Also, you are no longer being subjugated by your bullies, and that really tears them up inside.

Moreover, once things reach this point, they usually give up and go find another target because if something is no longer working, you change tactics. And if nothing seems to work, you run out of fortitude and give up.

Therefore, realize that it’s about self. The key is to stop focusing outward and start focusing inward. In other words, work on yourself. Why? Because, as stated earlier, when you’re too busy working on yourself, your bullies become irrelevant very quickly. As they should.

Realize that the reason bullies act the way that they do is because they have no lives. Moreover, they have no control over their own lives. Therefore, they try to take control over yours. Bullies truly are the most miserable of humans on earth. And once you realize this proven fact, they will no longer be an issue.

This is how you beat bullies at their own game!

This post was all about beating bullies at their own game so that you can finally take back your peace and therefore, control over your life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Outsmart a Bully: 1 Proven Strategy.

2. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying

3. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

4. How to Respond to Darvo: 7 Powerful Ways to Shut it Down

5. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

bullies

Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

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You’ve probably asked this question many times. Why do bullies bully? Here are the most common reasons people try to dominate others and what you can do to take the wind out of their sails.

why do bullies bully

Bullies can reek havoc in the lives of their victims. If you’re a victim and have been for any length of time, you’ve probably asked this question a million times.

In this post, you will learn the answers to your question, “Why do bullies bully?” Moreover, you’ll learn why they refuse to leave you alone.

Once you learn these answers, you will no longer be confused. Moreover, you will feel better about yourself, knowing that the issue isn’t you, it’s them.

This post is all about the question that nags you day and night, “Why do bullies bully?” and gives you all the answers you need to know.

Why Do Bullies Bully?

If you’re a target of bullying, I’m confident that you’ve asked these very legitimate questions a million times over.

“These bullies despise me so much. So, why don’t they just get a life and leave me alone?”

“If they think that I’m such a bad person, why don’t they just let me go?”

“Why don’t they just drop me completely, go on about their business and let me go on about mine?”

“If I’m such a disgusting person to them, then why can’t my bullies simply just stay away from me?”

“My bullies hate me so much. So,wouldn’t it be better for everyone if they (figuratively) just stayed in their corner of the room and let me stay in mine? If they just went on and did their thing and let me do mine?

“If I’m as loathsome as they say I am, why even bother? Why waste the energy to chase me down and harass me?”

“For what logical reason would people continue to pursue a person they so vehemently detest?”

“Why do they keep talking to me at all, even if it is abusive?”

After all, it would be a sensible solution to their problem- they stay away from you; you stay away from them, then everyone can be shiny and happy. Right?

Unfortunately, that’s not how it works.

As much as I hate to break it to you, bullies will never go away and allow you to live in peace if they have selected you to be their target.

Bullies need victims. It’s part of their psychology.  And they’ve chosen you.

Why do bullies bully? Here’s why:

1. to dominate and subjugate

Understand that a bully’s entire mission in life is to dominate and subjugate…period. And if not you, anyone.

You just happen to be the easiest target for them. In other words, you are the person they have in their sights. Therefore, their goal is to subjugate you and to hold you down and oppress you.

2. It’s the only way they find meaning in their lives.

Their very ethos is in mentally or physically enslaving and tormenting you.

In short, the only way bullies can have some semblance of meaning in their own lives is to dominate another human being. Why? Because they could never attain (or obtain) power any other way.

In other words, outside of trying to control and keeping a tight grip on the lives of others (you), abusers can’t find meaning in their lives, nor any sense of effectiveness or self-worth.

Understand that these types of people have no substance. They have zero redeemable qualities. Moreover, the vast majority are life-losers disguised as winners and cloaked with false perfection.

Therefore, it makes perfect sense that the only way they find their meaning- which is their sense of effectiveness and self-worth, is by using force and riding roughshod over people they perceive to have the least power.

You must realize that if your abusers just left you alone, they would have nothing else because there is nothing left out there for them.

These bullies may indeed run the school, workplace, or community. However, outside of the environments they take over, make toxic, and rule with iron fists, they have nothing, zip, zilch, squat!

Why Do Bullies Bully?

On the other hand, their targets and others who are normal and have healthy mentalities don’t have to bully others. They don’t need to find meaning in their lives because they already have it outside the bullying environment.

These people find meaning through unity and togetherness with their families, their friends, their churches, homes, or through their love and pursuit of their talents, hobbies, and interests.

Sadly, people who like to harass don’t have these things to fall back on.

3. They are addicted to power.

Understand that human predators must have targets (victims). In fact, they need targets- people who they can oppress and subjugate.  In other words, they need people they can order around and tell what to do because it gives them a power rush.

And power is addictive.

Take the target out of the equation and bullying ceases to exist.

Put another way, if one is going to be in charge, there must be people to be in charge of. You can’t rule over no one.  You’re not the boss of anything if there are no people to boss around.

You can’t be a king if there’s no kingdom because for a kingdom to exist, there must be people living in it for you to rule.

It would be like discovering a deserted island and declaring yourself king of that island. If a king has no people to rule, he has no kingdom and, therefore, no power.

It’s the same with bullies. Without targets to lord over, there’s no power for them to have and enjoy.

4. Why do bullies bully?

To Re-Enforce their power.

Here’s another thing to consider: if you’re a target of bullying, the mere fact that you want to get away from your abusers- that you want to escape their abuse and declare yourself a separate person will enrage them.

Why? Because they can’t live without power and domination.

Therefore, any attempts you make to evade them will be met with reckless anger. Moreover, your harassers will escalate the abuse to punish you.

Why? Because when you flee or fight back, you’re attempting to take away the only power they have.

For example, the same thing happens when a battered wife finally musters up the courage to leave her abusive husband. He goes into a rage and loses control.

And not because he’s loses her but because he loses power over her. Bullies are no different.

Therefore, their rage and hostility at the possibility of you either fighting back or leaving the environment is all about the threat of losing power.

Put simpler, they desire to, in a sense, hold you hostage.

Remember that bullying is abuse, just like domestic violence, rape, molestation, or any other form of abuse. And abuse is about power.

In other words, they are one and the same, so, they’re both about power.

Therefore, your harassers will never allow you to live in peace. And the reason they won’t leave you alone is because to do so would mean them losing the only thing they have- their power…over you.

5. Why do bullies bully?

They enjoy it.

It’s true. They get enjoyment and fulfillment out of harassing and abusing others. Therefore, you must realize that these types of people are sadistic in nature.

In other words, they get pleasure from your pain. Believe it or not, such people do exist and they’re a force to be reckoned with.

6. For Increased Social Status

Bullying is not only used to maintain power and control over the target. It is also used as a vehicle to achieve higher social status.

And sadly, it works like a charm. The reason it works so well is that the bully can increase his social standing, while reducing yours.

In other words, for many people, having the respect and admiration of their peers is of more value to their sense of self-worth than money and material wealth. Although one can achieve elevated social status through wealth and material things, it can also be attainable though bullying if the bully doesn’t have the former.

On the other hand, if the aggressor does have money and material wealth, the social status he gets from bullying is just icing on the cake. In other words, it’s not something he feels he must do. It’s something he wants to do because he thinks it’s fun.

However, this is not a healthy way to achieve social status. A healthy way of increasing one’s social ranking requires some type of achievement. For example,  joining a positive movement or donating to a charity.

Understand that these types of people are the talent-less, the lazy, and the incompetent. Again, they have no redeemable qualities, no personalities, and no real intelligence.

You must see these individuals exactly as they are- empty suits with zero substance. And, once you see them clearly, your confidence won’t take such a big hit when they come for you.

7. To Tighten bonds in Their group.

Not even love, respect, or friendship unite people as much as the shared hatred of something or someone. Moreover, there’s strength in numbers, and bullies must always have an entourage around them.

You will never see these types of people alone because the thought of being on their own scares them to death. The group is their power.

Also, the stronger the solidarity, the less likely it is of the group disbanding. Hatred is the glue that binds the members together.

As the target, you provide your bullies the assurance that their group always stays together as one. Without you, the group is weak; things get boring real fast, and it won’t be long before they split up and go their separate ways.

Of course, these 7 aren’t the only reasons. There are a few more reasons people engage in this atrocious behavior. But that’s in another post.

This post was all about the Answers to the question, “Why do bullies bully?” to relieve any confusion you might have.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Examples of Non Verbal Bullying

2. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

3. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You

4. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

5. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

5 Reasons You Have Haters

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“Want to know 5 reasons you have haters? Here are the most common reasons why haters are always nipping at your heels. (Psst! It’s not you. It’s them.)

5 reasons you have haters

Haters live to spite you and cause you lots of stress. They love to see you fail and despise it when you score a win. Even the greatest have haters. Therefore, what if I told you that having haters can be a good thing and you could use it to your advantage?

Most victims of bullying see haters as a bad thing. In other words, they see them as a hindrance to their progress. However, they don’t have to be. It depends on how you look at it and how you use it.

In this post, you will learn the 5 reasons you have haters and why it can actually be a good thing.

Once you learn all about these nasty people and the real reasons they pray for your fall, you will feel so much better about yourself. Moreover, your loathers will no longer be so threatening to you. In fact, you may even come to enjoy watching their childishness to some degree.

This post is about the 5 reasons you have haters and why they aren’t as intimidating as you might think.

5 Reasons You have Haters

Many of the greatest, most tender-hearted, and level-headed people in the world have a pack of haters behind them. And many of them don’t understand why.

Moreover, down through the years, many of theses people have stopped and asked, “What did I ever do to them?” or “I know I’m not a bad person and I treat everyone how I would want to be treated. So, what is it that they (the haters) think is wrong with me?”

I’ve got to admit it. I asked the same questions many times when I was young and it happened to me. But here’s a little assurance.

First, if you are one of those good people who certain others hate on, it’s normal to ask the same questions and wonder why.

Secondly, let me tell you: You didn’t do anything to them. In fact, you did nothing wrong.

Thirdly, what they think is wrong with you doesn’t matter. Moreover, what they think period doesn’t matter.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. In other words, I want you to know that you’re okay. You’re enough. And you’re awesome just the way you are.

I know what you’re likely to say next and you’re probably thinking it now: “But there’s got to be some reason they hate me so much.”

And you’re right. There are many reasons your haters hate you. But those reasons have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

1. They don’t have a life.

Or they don’t have one that’s meaningful. Also, most haters aren’t what they appear to be. Many are life losers who have no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

So, they have nothing better to do than to hate on others. Many of these types of haters are broke, jobless, partner-less, and live in their mommy’s basement.

Only they would never in a million years tell you this. In fact, they’d go out of their way to keep that hidden because, if it ever got out, they’d lose face and, therefore, lose much of their power.

Bullying you is their power because they can’t get it any place else.

Therefore, to feel better about themselves, they’ll troll your social media pages, make incendiary comments, and post vile things about you. If they happen to be local to your area and you know them, they’ll talk trash about you behind your back.

Moreover, they smear and slander you, trying to kill your reputation, your opportunities and prospects. These types of haters are bored with life and the only entertainment and rush of endorphins they can get is to cause drama in other people’s lives.

Again, it’s the only source of power they have left.

Therefore, these are the types of people you should feel sorry for because they live truly miserable and pathetic lives. And the only way they can feel powerful is to ruin other people’s lives.

Sadly, we have so many people like that today, and many of them get involved in the cancel culture that’s so prevalent. Again, understand that this is a last-ditch effort for them to achieve power. Unfortunately for the rest of us, it seems to work for them.

2. 5 Reasons You Have Haters:

They’re not happy in their lives.

This can go hand in hand with number 1. However, some people can have everything, a good job, a nice home, good family, and still not be happy. Therefore, what they lack is contentment.

Or, it could be that they aren’t happy with some things in their life. Whatever it may be, their attitude is this. If they can’t be happy, then by George, they’re going to make sure you’re not happy either.

In other words, they want to take away your peace of mind and bring you down to their level of misery. And you aren’t the only one. T

here are probably other people they do this to as well. Again, this person is a miserable individual and you shouldn’t hate them back, you should only pity them.

3. You have something they don’t have.

No one ever said life was fair. Some people can, and some can’t. Some have, and some don’t. It’s a hard part of reality that makes some people angry.

Why? Because they can’t seem to figure out how to obtain the things they want. So, they hate on anyone who has the things they (the haters) have been longing for and who has life a little easier than they do.

Moreover, this is probably the reason they don’t have the things they desire. They’re too busy focusing on what you have rather than focusing and working hard to attain those goals for themselves.

I know many lazy people who sit around wishing for things all the time. They don’t want to work for what they want, yet they get outraged at those who work hard and who end up achieving the things they (the haters) are wishing for.

The haters never stop to think that, if you want something, you must make it a goal. Moreover, you must focus on that goal and work hard, no matter how long it takes to attain it.

However, most haters either don’t want to work for what they want. And if they do work, they either make the wrong choices, or, sometimes, it’s just that life doesn’t work out how they want.

Nevertheless, hating only hurts them and not you. Why? Because you probably don’t know about it and if you do, you have the choice to not care.

4. 5 Reasons You Have Haters:

Jealousy.

This goes back to you having something your haters don’t have.  Moreover, it goes back to those poor souls not being happy in their lives.

Whether it’s an admirable trait you may have, such as the ability to make friends easily, or how you look. They don’t want you to have it.

Your haters could be jealous of what you have, or your ability to be happy. They want to take it all from you because they don’t have it and don’t think they can ever get it.

Therefore, feel good about it. This isn’t to say that you should be buddies with them, but just feel good about yourself, knowing these people exist.

5. Your good qualities are a threat to them.

In other words, you make them look bad. You cause them to compare themselves with you and see you as competition.

And if they ever feel like you’re winning over them, look out!

Therefore, realize that you aren’t at fault here. It was nothing you said or did to ruffle their feathers and there’s nothing wrong with you.

You are enough. In fact, you are awesome! Your haters only say otherwise to mess with your mind and throw you off balance. Don’t let them do that to you!

Moreover, they want to rip your confidence and self-esteem to shreds because if they can’t have the very thing that they want that you were blessed with, they’ll go after something you have that they think is easier to take. And that’s your confidence and self-esteem.

In other words, if your haters can’t rob you of the things you have and they wish they had, then they’ll rob you of your mental health. And they’ll attack your psychological well-being to balance and even the score a little.

This is how they operate. However, haters only win if you allow them to tear you down.

Haters can stress you out, yes. But they can also motivate you. So, be your best self and keep your haters blabbing. Think about it. Your haters are the ones who keep you relevant.

They’re your biggest fans, if you really think about it, because haters are the people who watch you the closest.

This post was all about the 5 reasons you have haters. It’s purpose is to make you feel better about having them because, if you have the power to make someone hate you without cause, then you’ve got some kind of power!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Choose Your Friends Wisely: 9 Criteria to Judge by

2. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

3. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

4. Removing Toxic People: 5 Successful Ways to Give Them the Boot

5. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

signs of toxic people

Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

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‘Want to know the signs of toxic people before you mistakenly interact with them and get burned? These are the sure-fire signs that every target of bullying should look for.

signs of toxic people

Dealing with toxic people can be a real buzz-kill for even those who aren’t necessarily objects of bullying and bullies are toxic people. So, know what signs to look for and you automatically avoid bullies. As one who has endured bullying in the past, I’m giving you the top signs of toxic people you must be on the lookout for.

You are going to learn about all the signs of toxic people, from backhanded comments, to dirty looks and more.

After learning about all this red flags, you are going to know what to watch out for and be better able to avoid associating with the wrong people.

This post is all about the signs of toxic people that you need to know.

signs of toxic people

1. They give off bad energy.

If you are around toxic people, you’ll feel it in your body if you pay attention. You’ll feel that alarm bells going off in your gut. Therefore, never mistake this as paranoia because you are not being paranoid.

At times in your life, certain people will give you this gut feeling and you won’t be able to explain the  feeling you get. The only way you will be able to describe it is that something is “off” about the people you’re around.

You will also get that sinking, creepy feeling in the pit of your stomach and literally feel the bad vibes just oozing off these people. However, you must understand that God gave us all this instinct.

Additionally, there are other names for this as well. Some call it your“sixth sense” or your “intuition.” Again, you aren’t being paranoid or uptight. And you’re not over-reacting. You are picking up on a person’s energy.

It’s only your inner alarm warning you and trying to keep you safe. In your head, that inner voice might admonish you and tell you, “Aw, C’mon! You don’t know that person. At least give them a chance. But your gut overrules your head ninety-nine percent of the time.

Don’t ignore it! It could save you a truckload of pain down the road.

if you ignore your gut feeling for too long, you will become blind to it!

If you ignore this feeling long enough, you will eventually become blind to the terrible vibes and energy bad people exude. ‘You see, the ability to pick up on vibrations and energy is like your muscles. It must be exercised to become stronger. In other words, if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it!

Your God-given gut instincts are the last things that you want to atrophy. In this crazy, mixed-up world, you cannot afford for these things to weaken.

Therefore, you must trust your gut. Especially if you are a target of bullying. Never allow others to convince you that you’re “being paranoid” or that “it’s all in your mind. Never listen when they tell you that you’re crazy for following your intuition.

If ever you pick up bad energy from the people around you, you must get away from those people, if possible. And don’t walk. Run!

So, trust your gut, it might even save your life!

2. They’re fake.

The signs of toxic people also include fakery, and fake people aren’t healthy people. Also, chances are good that they are toxic. Think about it. If they don’t like themselves enough to be for real, it’s a pretty good bet they won’t like many other  people either, including you.

Moreover, they’ll try to bring you down to build themselves up.

You’ll notice the fake right off if you look close enough and know what to look for. In the lunch line or the local restaurant, you’ll notice the guy who’s wearing the flashy, designer clothes and see him pull out a cheap, fifteen-dollar wallet to pay for his meal.

Then, you’ll know this guy is a poser.

Or you might see the girls in the school in-clique wear their high-fashion clothes and the name “GUCCI” on their handbags. But a closer look will reveal that the purses hanging off their shoulders are only cheap, knock-offs. Anyone with an eye for detail will notice it by the stitching patterns and thread counts.

When you see this, you’ll instantly know these girls are fake.

Moreover, these kinds of people try to look like they’re rolling in money in order to impress others. This screams insecurity and you should put some distance between yourself and these types.

Why? Because insecure people will try to make you feel bad to make themselves feel better. They’ll bully you for being yourself and try to act as if they’re better than you and most bullies are highly insecure people.

posers can also be fake in their actions.

Posers may or may not wear flashy clothes to impress. There are those who act fake. They may act tough but only turn out to be sniveling little cowards.

For instance, you’ll notice the big tough guy at school always beating up on girls and boys who are much smaller than he is. However, he’ll never go toe to toe with anyone of his equal.

He could be the skinny, buck-toothed, thick-eyeglasses-wearing HR nerd who uses his manager position and college degree to psychologically bully the employees under him.

Also, the posing bully could be a vindictive, domineering office woman who brags about her awesome family or quotes Bible scriptures.

Or, she could be the girl who acts shy and innocent but is really a lying, manipulative little vixen.

Avoid these kinds of people as well. Otherwise, they’ll only use you as a doormat to feel good about themselves or they’ll manipulate you to get what they want from you.

3. the signs of toxic people also include Gaslighting and invalidating others.

These types of people seem to find everything wrong with you and nothing wrong in themselves. Also, they never have anything positive to say.

Gaslighters and invalidators are the type of people that don’t mind dumping on you and making you feel like crap. However, when you call them out on their abuses and manipulation, they’ll invalidate your feelings and punish you for having them.

They will make statements, such as,

“You’re being too sensitive.”

“You’re making a mountain out of a molehill.”

Or

“You’re crazy.”

All the while, you know that you’re not.

What’s worse is this person will often put on a gleaming façade of perfection while throwing stones at you and anyone who “rubs them the wrong way.”

They hide their own shortcomings and project them onto you to use you as a distraction from their sins.

But know this. Only you alone know your inner reality. It’s impossible for anyone besides God to be privy to that kind of information.

If someone tells you how you feel, or how you should feel, they claim to know the unknowable. Their unspoken message is that you don’t have a right to feel the way you do.

No one has the right to do that to you. No one! Tell them to take a hike. And if you see them coming, don’t walk, run! These kinds of people aren’t the least healthy to be around!

4. Gossiping and Backstabbing.

If you have friends who talk smack about their other friends to you, then you can bet they’re running their mouths about you to the same friends when you’re not around to hear it.

Moreover, there are also nosy people who are never short of personal and intimate questions about your private life. And those in school or at work who never shut up and always seem to know your business before you do.

Understand that these people are toxic and are bullies too. Their consistent gossip, butting-in, and having a nose stuck in your life is a form of attempted control.

Bullies will often ask you very intimate questions to embarrass or humiliate you. Therefore, anybody who openly asks you such questions has no respect for your privacy.

Therefore,  never answer their questions and be very careful what you share. Information you should always keep to yourself are:

1. Whether or not you have a drug addict in your family

2. Any legal issues.

3. Divorce or child custody issues.

4. Any medical conditions

5. Your sex life, or lack of.

Do not divulge anything that is private!

Anytime people ask you questions about any of the above, don’t walk, RUN! These idiots are never to be trusted. In fact, they aren’t worth knowing. Deal with them accordingly and take out the trash.

5. They Love Drama.

These types are always whining, complaining, and always seem to be in a jam. They will blame you and others for their bad circumstances because it’s never their fault. Right?

Also, they are notorious gossips and you’ll often hear them bellyaching when they have to do any work.

Stay away from this person because they’ll dog your mood and be a drag to be around.

Moreover these drama-lovers live to sow discord and division among others. They work as double agents. In other words, they go back and forth between two quarreling people, telling each person what the other said about them just to get them riled up.

Then, when the two quarrelers finally come to blows, these people will then stand back and watch with glee as the two duke it out.

Give these chumps the old heave-ho. Fast!

This post was all about the signs of toxic people to help you easily spot them and avoid them for your own peace of mind.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs of Gaslighting: 7 Signs You Must Know

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

important facts about bullying

Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

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Would You like to know the Most Important facts about bullying? Remembering these truths will help you gather the courage you need to stand up to your bullies and bravely defend yourself against them.

important facts about bullying

There are 3 most important facts about bullying that you must learn if you want the courage to stand up to your bullies.  This can be very difficult, if not terrifying. However, it is an absolute must if you don’t want to waste years tiptoeing around your bullies only for them to keep coming back for you.  These essential truths are those I had to realize before I could muster the courage to stand up to my bullies and finally put a stop to the years-long nightmare I was living in.

Therefore, as a former target and eventual overcomer of bullying myself, I am writing this post to give you the 3 most important facts you must remember about bullies.

Once you learn these truths and keep them in the back of your mind, you will then be well prepared and able to stand your ground and defend yourself much more effectively.

This post is all about the 3 most important facts about bullying, which are truths that every victim of bullying should know.

Here are 3 Important facts about bullying:

1. You can never appease a bully.

Never! No matter what you do to satisfy the bullies and no matter how many times you tell them what they want to hear. You may submit to them and yes, they may go away and leave you alone for the time being. However, understand that the small reprieve bullies give you will always, ALWAYS… be very short lived.

It is because your submission has always worked and given your bullies what they want from you. In your submission, whether it’s telling the bullies what they want to hear, letting them cheat off you during an exam, or allowing them to take credit for your idea, you are rewarding their behavior.

Therefore, anytime bullies get rewards from bullying you, they will always come back for more. And the same goes whether you endure bullying in school, the workplace, or in your community.

Also, your bullies get instant psychological rewards just from your having to constantly creep and tiptoe around them. Why? Because it gives them a sense of power and domination. Realize that bullies are all about power… raw power! And they will never give that up. Not without a fight!

You can never submit your way out of being abused.

I cannot stress this enough. Again, you can never appease a bully. Any attempts to do so will only do the opposite of what you want. Trying to appease a bully only makes you appear weak to them. It then emboldens them to come back for more later because it is the very thing that has been working for them all along!

Consequently, you will spend years jumping through hoops and wondering when your bullies will be back in your face again. This is no way to live, and life is too short to waste one second being an emotional slave to someone else.

You must understand that eventually, you will need to take a hard stand before they will finally leave you alone for good. The last thing you want is to spend the rest of your life being someone else’s doormat.

there’s a reason why this is number one of the most important facts about bullying.

In other words, the only way to permanently deter your bullies is to get tired of it and confront them head-on when they come for you. Speak out against them, to their faces, if need be, and when you say what you must say to them, say it bluntly and mean it! Then, if they respond with physical threats and violence, be ready to hit back and defend yourself.

Sometimes it takes a final showdown before your bullies will finally give you the respect you deserve and go find another target to bully. Think of the movie “Tombstone.”

A band of bullies had terrorized an entire boom town and, in the process, killed one Earp brother and wounded another. Afterwards, Wyatt Earp and his buddies made their final stand, hunting down each member of the Cowboys gang and all but eradicating them, which caused them to eventually disband.

This is not to say that you should go hunt your bullies down, but you get the point.

2. The Second of the most Important Facts About Bullying is That Bullies thrive on your fear of retaliation and further harm.

Know that your fear of retaliation and suffering further harm is understandable because it is a natural human response to danger. So, in no way am I blaming you for it.

However, you must realize that your bullies thrive on your perfectly normal fear response, and they will exploit it every chance they get! And why not?

Your fear has thus far gotten them what they want from you. It has rewarded your bullies both psychologically and, more than likely, materially. So, why would they stop now or ever for that matter?

Understand that rewards feel good! And if it feels good, humans want more and more of it! So, again, why would your bullies stop trying to get more of it? Moreover, why would they stop doing the very things to you that they’ve been doing that have, time and time again, proved to be successful?

Human nature only dictates that your bullies will always come back for more rewards! And they will return to the source of the rewards (you) and repeat the same methods by which they have been successful in attaining these rewards.

For example, if a prospector finds a goldmine loaded with gold and there’s nothing to stop him from stealing it, he’s not going to stop mining for it just because there’s more gold in it than he can carry. No. He’s going to return to the mine later to get more gold. Consequently, if there’s no barrier to stop him, he will keep going back for more until there’s no more gold left in the mine.

if there’s more free gold in the mine, why not go back for it?

People are greedy like that, and bullies are no exception to this rule when it comes to power. You are the goldmine, and your personal power is the gold the bullies keep coming for more and more of. And, each time they return, they will chip away more and more of your self-esteem to get that gold.

Therefore, the trick here is to stop supplying “the gold.” Stop rewarding their behavior and set boundaries! Remember that mine owners usually had armed guards posted to keep it from being robbed by greedy prospectors. The guards are the boundaries for the mine. They protect the mine by keeping the robbers out.

Also, nations have boundaries to keep out foreign invaders. And people should have them as well to ward off others who would otherwise use and abuse them.

In most cases, realizing these truths will make you angry. Then, you will grow so sick of being crapped on that you get angry with yourself for having allowed them to abuse you for so long. Also, you will reach the point where you stop caring how the bullies respond.

In other words, you will be willing to face the possibility of getting beat within an inch of your life, but you won’t care anymore. Damn the consequences!

Your attitude will be, “They may whip me, but I’ll go down swinging and get a few good licks in! I’ll leave a few marks on them and they’ll know I’ve been there!”

You will be so furious that you’ll flatly refuse to live in fear any longer, come what may.

3. Bullies only understand strength and power. They do not understand reason, diplomacy, nor politeness.

You cannot handle bullies with kid gloves. In other words, there are no nice or polite ways to handle them or to set boundaries. Bullies only see niceties, pleasantries, and politeness as weaknesses to exploit and manipulate.

Also, you can never reason with bullies. Bullies only perceive any form of diplomacy and reasoning to be signs of weakness or worse, ploys to manipulate them.

Therefore, you must communicate with your bullies in the only language they understand. You must meet them exactly where they are. When you set your boundaries, you must do it firmly and bluntly. And mean it!

You cannot just set boundaries and expect your bullies to respect them. You must also enforce those boundaries with consequences because bullies will see this as a challenge. And you can best believe they will rise to that challenge.

In other words, they will violate your newly established boundaries just to dare you and to prove to you that they can. And when you do, make sure that the consequences are severe enough to make them stop! The consequences must be so severe that your bullies won’t even want to look in your direction again, much less mess with you.

You must speak from a position of power and strength.

To put it figuratively, unleash hellfire and put the fear of God in them! Think Hiroshima and Nagasaki after the Pearl Harbor attack. Japan never attacked us again afterwards. We eventually won their respect, and they became one of our closest friends. And we continue to be friends with Japan today.

Here it is, in a nutshell. When you’re dealing with bullies, it’s either put up or shut up.

Again, you must realize these truths before you reach your limit and decide to finish it once and for all. Also, the bullying you suffer may get worse before it gets better. Why? Because bullies always fight the hardest when they know they’re losing their power over you.

Therefore, don’t give up. Stick to your guns. And know that eventually, after you severely school, beat, and humiliate your bullies enough times, they will eventually get the message, give up and go find another chump to jerk around.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

This post was all about the most Important facts about bullying. knowing these truths will help you be more knowledgeable so that you don’t waste any more time spinning your wheels for nothing.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

reasons why people bully

Reasons Why People Bully – 7 Most Common Motives

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Are you a victim of bullying who has been desperately trying to figure out the reasons why people bully? The first step to overcoming bullying is to know your enemy. Listed below are the 7 most common reasons.

reasons why people bully

Bullies are unpredictable and if people are bullying you, you probably don’t understand the reasons why people bully. As someone who has experienced bullying and has researched it for several years. I’m giving you the answers you’ve been looking for.

Therefore, you will learn the most common reasons why people bully, whether it’s insecurity, or jealousy, or other motives.

After learning about all of these most common reasons, you will be able to better prepare yourself for the next time your bullies approach you.

This post is all about the most common reasons why people bully that every victim should know.

Most Common Reasons Why People Bully:

1. the desire for Power.

Bullying is all about power, domination, and control. Bullies get a massive rush of power at your expense. Moreover, power is addictive. It is like a drug and bullies can never get enough of it. To bullies, bullying is an aphrodisiac, it feels good to them.

You must understand that targeting others to attack and harm is how some people find meaning in their lives. And the power they get through their meaningless lives is in the mistreatment of their victims. Simply put, bullies bully because they enjoy it!

People crave power, fame, notoriety, and influence, even the best of them. But most people can get those through love and through their hobbies, jobs, talent, and creativity. Bullies, on the other hand, don’t have these things going for them. Some might have jobs but aren’t satisfied in their positions. So, they abuse people to gain the desires they can’t gain any other way.

Without victims Bullies Have No Power

Again, bullies either can’t get those benefits any other way, or they can’t get enough of them. So, for them, destroying the lives of their targets is the only power they have.

Moreover, once their victim is no longer available to them because he’s either quit, moved, or committed suicide, the bullies’ drug isn’t there anymore. Therefore, they search for another target to get their next fix because bullies need authority over somebody, anybody.

Understand that this “fix” always wears off, and it wears off quickly. Bullies consistently need another dose, and another and another. If they cannot find another easy target, preferably someone outside their peer group, they will eat their own. In other words, they will turn on one of their friends in their social circle and target them.

Here’s another thing to think about. Bullies usually pick jobs that give them power and a title. They usually aspire to become politicians, teachers, correctional officers, police officers, supervisors, managers, and the like.

2. The most common Reasons Why People Bully include The Need for a Scapegoat

Many bullies need a scapegoat to unload all their own insecurities on. In other words, they need someone to blame for their own faults and to take all their hurts, anger, and frustrations out on. Always remember this. Bullies need victims because they need scapegoats.

Moreover, the use of a scapegoat is nothing new. People have used them for many millennia!

The idea of a scapegoat comes from the Old Testament of the Bible. People gave burnt offerings to cleanse themselves of sin and they would sacrifice a lamb and burn it.

So, when bullies scapegoat their victims, they use the victim as a sacrificial lamb to project all their wrongdoings and imperfections on. Understand that bullies need targets to blame their stupidity and bad behavior on.

Here’s another example:

During the Medieval Period, scapegoats were used by kings to make sure the monarch’s hands stayed clean- or, more appropriately, looked clean.

Back then, it was common practice to blame and execute scapegoats for the wrongdoings of kings. Blaming them, then putting them to death kept the scapegoats quiet and the kings unquestioned, above reproach, and looking good. Bullies do the same today, only in different ways.

Furthermore, bullying and scapegoating go hand in hand. The purpose of scapegoating is for bullies to project blame and continue to appear as good, upstanding people.

Put simpler, bullies force another person to accept blame for sins of which they, themselves, are guilty so that they can go on living in blissful denial. Sadly, the person blamed is often innocent, has the least power, and is least likely to fight back. The person is then punished and sacrificed.

Remember that bullies are cowards. If you’re a victim or target of bullying, this is a way bullies can avoid any accountability and live in the safely of denial while continuing their evil deeds, causing harm to others.

3. The Desire for Social Status.

The reasons why people bully often include the desire for social status. And usually, it works like a charm. The reason it works so well is that the social status of the bully skyrockets, while that of the target plummets.

For many people, having the respect and admiration of their peers is of more value to their sense of self-worth than money and material wealth. Although one can achieve elevated social status through wealth and material things, it can also be attainable though bullying if the bully doesn’t have those things.

Bullies who are poor will often bully you out of insecurity and the social status they achieve from it is compensation for the money and material things they don’t have. On the other hand, if the bully does have money and material wealth, the social status he gets from bullying is just icing on the cake.

Bullies Who are Poor are Known for These Tactics

However, most bullies aren’t affluent. Therefore, the only way they can achieve social status is by demeaning others and exploiting their mistakes, flaws, and shortcomings. In other words, bullies will take the tiniest mistake, add to it, and make it bigger.

In short, they increase their social ranking by decreasing yours.

But remember this. Bullying is not a healthy way to move up the social hierarchy. A healthy way of increasing one’s social ranking requires some type of achievement, such as joining a positive movement or donating to a charity.

Sadly, the world is, by default, quick to blame a person for any negative qualities or actions while slow to forgive or to give credit for good deeds. Bullies instinctively know this and take full advantage of it.

However, again, you must understand that people who rely on their ability to bully others out of existence to achieve social gain can never achieve it any other way. It’s the only way these bullies can have power.

4. Group Cohesion and Unity Are One of The Reasons Why People Bully

It’s no secret that bullies usually bully in packs.

Therefore, bullies garner support from others who are just like them and who share the same values and opinions. After all, bullying is most effective in group situations, where people unite to serve a certain objective. Bullies never work alone. They always have backers.

There is strength in numbers. Group bullying not only gives talentless bullies a sense of belonging, but it also tightens the bonds among members of the group.

Furthermore, this collective bullying gives them more anonymity. Also, in a group bullies are more successful in bringing the target down than if the bullies worked alone.

This usually requires that the bullying group have a hated enemy (you) that they can unite against.

In Robert Greene’s book entitled, “The Laws of Human Nature,” I once read that everyone needs a hated enemy and that there’s a positive side to having one. I’ve found that with packs of bullies, this is true.

Bullies in groups need an enemy, whether real or imagined, that they can band together and fight against. They need an “us-versus-them” object. Why? Because the presence of an enemy has always served to strengthen group cohesion and unite and tighten members. Groups reflexively focus on their hated target as a means for further solidarity.

You, the victim provide the bullies the assurance that their group always stays together as one. Without you as their victim, their group is weak and things get boring fast.

Therefore, once you leave the scene and move on to a better environment, it won’t be long before they split up and go their separate ways.

However, know this. These types of people are the talentless, the lazy, the insignificant, and the incompetent. They have no redeemable qualities, no personalities, and no real intelligence.

You must see these bullies exactly as they are- empty suits with zero substance. And, once you see them clearly, your confidence won’t take such a big hit when they come for you.

5. To Seek Attention.

Bullies will bully just to get attention. They not only want attention from you, but more than likely, they want attention from bystanders.

In other words, by making you look small, the bully makes themselves look big in the eyes of bystanders who don’t know any better. This goes back to number 3, The Desire for Social Status.

But realize that this is the only way the bully can get the attention he craves. It’s really pathetic when you think about it. This realization alone should give you a confidence boost because you don’t have to resort to such behavior to get attention.

6. one of the common reasons why people bully is also One-Upmanship

One-upmanship is another one of the most common reasons why people bully.

Bullies can’t handle the successes of anyone, especially if it’s achieved by anyone they deem inferior. Realize that a bully’s feelings of power and superiority come by one-upping you, their victim.

Therefore, anytime you succeed at anything, it will undermine your bullies’ sense of superiority.

Realize that your bullies need to be better than you, at everything and when you have a talent you’re exceptional at, it only arouses their jealousy and desire to take you down a few pegs.

So, be prepared for your bullies to look for and find one of your weaknesses and exploit it just to soothe their bruised egos.

Also, look for your bullies will use their social status to one-up you with. Or, if your bullies are athletes and you’re a musician, they may remind you that they’re better at sports than you will ever be.

However, you must know where these tactics come from. Your talents and success are threats to your bullies’ power because they undermine their superiority over you.

7. To Contain Threats.

Bullies always intensify their bullying when you become a threat to them somehow.

For example, you have been bullied by the same people for years and finally decide to break your silence and speak out about it. When you began to call out the bullying and assert your rights not to be abused, you are then a threat to your bullies.

Why? Because you’re exposing their bad deeds before the entire world.

Remember that bullies thrive on the silence of their victims. Once the victim speaks out and provides proof,  the bullies risk exposure. With it, they risk losing face and their social standing in a school, workplace, or community.

Therefore, look for your bullies to use tactics against you, such as lies, gaslighting, smear campaigns, and the like. They may even confront you with an angry tirade.

But realize that your bullies are only operating out of fear and desperation. Fear and desperation renders a person not to think clearly. As a result they end up making stupid mistakes and exposing themselves for who they are.

I’ve seen it happen.

This post was all about the most common reasons why people bully and was written to help you see where the attacks are coming from. seeing behind the behavior helps you better prepare your response so that you can buffer your self-esteem and preserve your confidence.

related posts:

1. A Bully’s Power is Your Lack of Knowledge

2. Bullying for Increased Social Status

3. Why Bullies Need a Hated Enemy to Unite Against

Bullies Hate Constructive Criticism

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Bullies don’t take constructive criticism very well. They only react to it as if it is a personal attack. Remember that bullies are highly egocentric. They must always be right about everything or, more appropriately, look as if they’re right about everything. This is how bullies hide beneath a veneer of total perfection.

They do this for several reasons:

1.It makes them look better than they really are.

2. Bullies use the veneer of perfection as protection from accountability and shield them from reproach.

3. They also use it to draw others to them and fool them.

4. It can be used as a weapon against their targets.

5. It gives them status and social capital.

6. It gives them the attention and admiration they seek.

Bullies will also use the guise of constructive criticism to disparage others they deem inferior and unworthy. They may tell the target that they’re only giving him/her this criticism to help them when, in fact, they’re doing it to show them they’re smarter or imply that the target is stupid.

A bully’s hypocrisy knows no bounds.

So, if you find yourself being unfairly criticized by a bully, it’s important that you tell them in no uncertain terms to keep their noses out of your business.

And if they insist on keeping it up, hit them with their own book of standards. You can always say something similar to:

“That sounds real good coming from someone who doesn’t practice what they preach. Now, get out of here and go on about your business.”

This is one comeback you can use. Nothing fancy- you don’t have to get cute or witty with it. Just say what you mean and mean what you say, and say it in as few words as possible before turning your back and walking away.

With knowledge comes empowerment.

Remarks Bullies Make Anytime The Target Succeeds at Something

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Isn’t it funny that when a target does something right- when they succeed, especially if they receive recognition and praise for a job well done, an award hard won, or a good deed well accomplished, the bullies protest the loudest? They work feverishly to trivialize and minimize any positive quality and maximize any negative. Bullies will also be quick to bring up any mistake or wrongdoing in the target’s past to overshadow the positive quality or accomplishment.

I’ve had firsthand experience with this because my classmates did the same to me, as did coworkers at a workplace years later. Understand that, if you’re a target of bullying, your bullies see you as the bad guy and they want everyone else to see you the same way. They can’t stand even the thought of you reaching success, much less getting recognized for it.

Therefore, anytime you score a win, expect your bullies to do everything in their power to downplay it by minimizing it. Or, they may remind you and others of a past mistake or sin you might have committed, even if it was done decades ago when you were a dumb kid.

They may also make all kinds of wild accusations concerning your win. Here are a few cruel remarks bullies will make:

1. You cheated. Your bullies will refuse to believe that you won that coveted award through hard work and they’ll move Heaven and Earth to convince you and everyone else of it too. But don’t fall for it! And don’t fret if others choose to foolishly believe the bullies. Instead, see it for what it is and what it’s meant to do.

Know that this is designed to dull your shine and cast doubts in the minds of others. Your bullies mean to make other people assume that your success or accolade is illegitimate and that you didn’t come by it fairly. It’s also designed to discredit you and cause others to resent you.

2. It was just dumb luck. When you make a good grade at school, your school bullies and other classmates may verbally pass it off as your being lucky. Realize that when they say these things, they mean to discredit your abilities and cheapen your success in the eyes of those around you. The underlying message is that you couldn’t have made it if you tried and that your accomplishment was some freak accident.

3. You kiss arse. Ah, yes! Your bullies will say that you sucked up and won favor with the right people. They will accuse you of scoring “brownie points.” They will whine, saying that the person whose ass you kissed gave you a boost and that you got an unfair advantage. Again, this is designed to discredit you and undermine your abilities and intelligence. It’s also meant to instill intense anger and resentment of you in others.

4. You slept your way to success. If you’re a woman who’s a target of workplace bullying and you happen to get that coveted promotion that you and several competitors have been vying for, be prepared to get accused of “f***ing the boss man.” Bullies don’t censor their words and that’s exactly what they’ll say.

Also, if your workplace bullies are trying to get you fired and your boss happens to know better and goes to bat for you, they will also accuse you of giving sexual favors. And sadly, this is the most common accusation if you are female.

Just like all the rest, this remark is made to undermine your abilities and smarts, discredit you, cheapen your accomplishments in the eyes of others, and cause anger, hatred, and resentment toward you. It’s also meant to degrade you as a lady and instill in others the belief that you’re nothing but an opportunistic slut who will spread her legs to get ahead in life. This happened to me when I worked at a nursing home years ago, and, let me tell you. It wasn’t fun!

But don’t fret over any of this! I want you to see it for what it is- jealousy, poor sportsmanship, and trash-talk! You must see it for what it is and what it means. And what it is and what it means is that your bullies are a bunch of crybabies, whining and foaming at the mouth because they didn’t get that cookie and you did!

It means that they feel inferior and that they no longer have the attention they crave. It means that they feel cheated and indignant, and it shows that they’re the real losers!

But wait! Here’s something else that neither bullies or targets think about: If you’re a target or survivor of bullying, you’re going to loooove this little gem of truth!

Anytime your bullies make any of the above accusations, what it is, is a confession on their part. In other words, your bullies are projecting- they’re accusing you of the very things they either would do or are doing themselves!

Think about it. How many husbands have falsely accused their innocent wives of cheating, only to end up being caught cheating themselves?

It’s the same when bullies falsely accuse their targets of wrongdoing. Anytime bullies are so quick to point fingers at the target for an alleged transgression, it’s a good indicator that they’re committing the same sins themselves and are only trying to cover their behinds. Always remember that!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

The Negative Side to Reality Shows- How They Get Their High Ratings

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I feel compelled to discuss how these shows get their ratings to give parents who permit their children to watch them a better understanding of what subliminal messages their child may be receiving.

Sadly, reality shows that receive the highest ratings also have the highest peer abuse incidences, commonly called bullying. Peer abusers (bullies) love drama and are drawn to it like flies to feces! Bullying brings drama…always! The more altercations and confrontations a reality show displays for viewers, the more drama it brings.

More drama means the show is more interesting to viewers. The more interesting the show, the more views the show gets, and the higher the ratings the show receives.

Also, the more drama a certain reality star brings to a show (usually by bullying others on the show), the higher the show is rated, and in return, the higher the star is rated by producers of the show and network executives…all because he/she brings the most drama. For a reality star, this not only guarantees them a spot on the show’s next season but also much higher pay, with producers and execs offering the bullying star hundreds of thousands, if not millions of dollars!

This equals great rewards for bullies on the show…rewarding and encouraging despicable behavior! Think Teresa Guidice, “Real Housewives of New Jersey,” or Nene Leakes, “Real Housewives of Atlanta.”

In my opinion, both of these women, who are in their 40’s and 50’s, have shown some of the most queen bee, mean girl behavior of anyone on television.

Should they even qualify as stars? I don’t know about anyone else, but in my opinion, watching women in this age group display such girl’s room/locker room antics is sickening and an embarrassment to my generation of women.

This behavior is unbecoming of women of any age but looks downright ugly coming from middle-aged women, whom you think would be a better example to younger females.

Parents need to sit down with children and explain that just because reality shows make bullying look glamorous does not mean that bullying is okay. Bullying is anything but glamorous, especially to victims.

Sadly, high ratings for these shows speak volumes about the society we live in today- that the bulk of society apparently has an insatiable appetite for trash. It is glaring proof that in the eyes of a vast majority, crap is king. It shouldn’t be any wonder that bullying and peer abuse is so globally rampant today.

Parents and grandparents must either forbid kids to watch these types of reality shows. If they permit them to watch it, they must also explain to the children that just because certain behavior is shown on television does not mean it is acceptable in real life.

We must also stop prioritizing petty and poor values, one of which is the misguided belief that being the most popular, liked, or the toughest kid on the block is what life’s all about.

Bullies Who Think They Can Predict Your Downfall

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Bullies are notorious for playing fortuneteller to their targets. They laugh at your goals and dreams. They try to derail and sabotage your progress. And they do it because they’re so darned insecure in themselves. Why do you think bullies work so hard at bringing others down?

Realize that all this is very telling about the bullies’ own lives. In many cases, you’ll have the smart kid in your class who always makes straight A’s and makes high remarks and he’s targeted by bullies.

There’s also the girl who can sing like a professional, the boy who wins all the awards, the girl who writes the most beautiful poems and interesting stories, the guy who always gets the promotions at work, or the woman who always gets noticed by potential suitors.

One thing they all have in common is that they’re the ones bullies come for to make their lives as miserable as possible.

In school, I could sing, and the music teacher would pick me to sing solos in the school choir. I also write stories and poems back then and I cannot count the times my bullies told me:

“You’ll never make it in the music business.”

“You’ll never publish any books.”

“No book publisher will ever choose any of your lame stories.”

“You’ll never amount to anything.”

“You’ll never be anybody.”

“You’ll never get married.”

“You’ll never have children.”

“You’ll never be worth a damn.”

And the list goes on…

And each time I’d hear garbage like this from my bullies, I’d think of the sounds I’d hear every time I’d watch Charlie Brown and the Peanuts gang and see them talking to an adult, whether it be their parents, or a teacher in class.

toxic brainwashing

I would think, “Wa-wa-w-wa-wa-waaaaaa.” That’s how little I valued their words when it came to things I enjoyed doing and my dreams and goals.

With bullies, it’s always the same old you’ll never this and you’ll never that. But, here’s the thing. People who haven’t accomplished much themselves will always try to drag you down when they think you’re striving for something. And because they haven’t tasted success, they don’t believe that anyone else will (or should) either.

Understand that when bullies predict your failures, they only reveal all their failures and disappointments. That’s right! They’re speaking from their own perspectives. Anytime they tell you that you’ll never succeed at anything, it’s because they’ve never succeeded at anything and likely never will.

What these bullies are also telling you is that they’re afraid that you will succeed and make them feel even more like the losers they are. Realize that your bullies are trying to wreck your optimism, kill your confidence, and crush your self-esteem. And they want to do it before you end up winning at something.

Bullies want you to fail and they want it so badly they can almost taste it. Because, if you do reach success, your win will only reflect back to them their own laziness, failure, and mediocrity. Therefore, they relentlessly try to drum their words of doom into your head to condition you to not even bother to try. Because they know that not trying only ensures failure. In trying to condition you to not try, they’re only trying to ensure your failure.

That’s why it’s imperative that you turn a deaf ear to your bullies’ bogus predictions of your future because they can’t possibly know what their own futures entail, much less yours. You must not allow them to discourage you and cause you to lose sight of your goals and dreams.

Let the trash they talk go in one ear and out the other. Tell them, “That’s your opinion” and laugh at them or maybe scoff and give your bullies a scornful eye-roll. Then turn your back to them and walk away snickering. Look on your bullies with scorn when they try to predict your outcomes because they only do it out of ignorance and stupidity.

Do these things because it’s the only way you’ll keep your power and continue to feel confident. Your self-esteem will thank you for it later!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

When Bullies Use Confabulations

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Many times, bullies will blow up on their targets for absolutely no reason. When they’re later questioned about the blow-up, they can’t remember why they lost their temper. So, they drum up fake memories to fill in the blanks in order to sound plausible instead of ridiculous.

When bullies confabulate, they do it to feel sane when they wouldn’t otherwise. And the way they feel sane is to insert made-up stories to fill in the blanks. I’ve seen this happen many times and even had bullies justify themselves to me by the same method.

Sometimes, confabulations can be mistaken for real memories and the truth to the confabulator.

When bullies confabulate a justifiable reason for their appalling behavior, they believe themselves. So, is it any wonder that most abusers appear to others to be telling the truth when they justify and rationalize away their abusive actions?

When a person believes their own lies, others are more likely to believe them too. It’s a fact.

Confabulations have an incredible effect on witnesses. When people hear lies spoken as truths, it is as if you’ve entered the twilight zone.

No one wants to be under a bully’s influence, but people get sucked under it all the time. Many people have had their lives destroyed, even taken because they were persuaded by bullies. And those who saw through those abusers and spoke out were either silenced or paid a heavy price for daring to open their mouths. This has also happened to entire cultures and populations.

Understand that confabulations can be a powerful weapon because, again- the bullies who confabulate believe themselves so it’s a sure bet that others will believe them too. That’s why we must learn to either properly counter any confabs or let the bully drag them out until others get tired of hearing them squawking about it.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

3 Ingredients Bullies Use to Build Their Image of Perfection

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We all know that bullies are cowards who hide behind a façade. But what makes that façade? What are the exact ingredients that make up the bully’s façade?

Before I give you each ingredient in detail, let me tell you that bullies are like peacocks. They like to strut around and fan out their tails, showing us their prettiest colors. And they do this to collect admirers, followers, and allies. That’s exactly what the bully’s façade is used for- to draw people to them. And bullies are good at duping their cohorts into thinking that they’re perfect and can’t be touched.

Only their targets know what’s behind the facades- victims know the real people behind the masks. So, again, what exactly are the ingredients that bullies use to build their carefully crafted facades and promote those fake images?

Here are your answers:

1. Impeccable Attire. Most seasoned and well-practiced bullies dress in the best and latest fashions. These people love to be pleasing to the eyes because they understand that, sadly, most people are materialistic and beauty-obsessed, and everything is based on appearances. So, they wear the fanciest clothes, the trendiest hairstyles, the sexiest makeup, etc.

They show off these things to look the best and give the appearance that they’re rolling in money and that their life is perfect- all to impress others. Most of all, bullies also do it for one-upmanship!

And…here’s something else! Many of my bullies didn’t have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out. Not that being poor makes a person bad, but!

Most bullies will go flat broke buying fancy clothes and sporty cars to pimp around town in just to keep up a fake persona. And they’ll be up to their eyeballs in debt. Many of these people are constantly having a hard time paying or failing to pay their bills.

They’re the types who will run to mommy and daddy for bailouts and handouts, yet they spend a fortune on clothes, hairstyles, manicures, pedicures, facials, cosmetic surgeries, you name it!

Because of this, I’ve known many workplace bullies who committed crimes such as theft, embezzlement, and forgery because they lived way beyond their means and got their butts in a crack they couldn’t get out of. And they got caught!

2. They put on a good show. Seasoned bullies are also the best showmen. They put on an act to gain admiration, support, or sympathy. They make grand gestures. They’re good at reading people and finding out their likes and dislikes and how they react to certain stimuli. They make themselves constantly hyperaware of the people and moods around them, then adapt to them.

You’ll often find these bullies standing in the very center of the rooms they’re in, and they’re the types who despise being outshone, outsmarted, or outdone.

3. They’re master wordsmiths. They use clichés, euphemisms, and loaded words to impress others with their speech. They also use big words to prove how smart they are when, in reality, they’re as incompetent as they come. They also tell people what they want to hear and say everything with conviction. This is why they’re such convincing liars and why they’re so good at making the target look like the bad guy.

But here’s something else you need to know:

Although seasoned bullies are very popular among people, they’re also hated and feared by rivals and enemies. And they do eventually get brought down. I’ve seen it happen many times.

Julius Caesar was one such example.

“Caesar had his Brutus and Charles I, his Cromwell…” – Patrick Henry.

With knowledge comes empowerment!