Author: Cherie White

Know Your Worth As a Woman: 5 Rules to Live by

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Do you know what it means to know your worth as a woman? Here are rules you should live by to increase your value.

know your worth as a womanWhen you know your worth as a woman, you’re least likely to settle for anything less than what you want and what you know you deserve.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what it is to know your worth as a woman. Moreover, you’ll live by your beliefs and convictions so that you can increase your value and live the life you deserve.

Once you know this life-changing information, you will successfully increase your feminine value. Moreover, you’ll be more capable of creating the good life you deserve because you won’t settle for crap.

This post is all about what it is to know your worth as a woman so that you can know your true value and live up to it.

Know Your Worth as a Woman

A high-value woman is worth more than gold. However, with the moral decline of today’s females, she’s a rare commodity. Even so, potential partners still hope to find her.

First, here’s a scenario. A fourteen-year-old girl comes home from school to find both her grandmother’s sitting at the kitchen table.

Having both grown up during the Great Depression and been daughters of farmers, the grandmothers only have fifth-grade and seventh-grade educations, yet they are geniuses in common sense and street smarts!

As they sit together, sipping coffee and having just finished a card game, the girl’s maternal grandmother tells her the story of how her grandfather cheated on her many times but only dropped the other woman in the end.

She also tells her how she ended up divorcing him. After she tells her the story. Her sweet grandmas then give her 5 Rules all women should live by.

Rule Number 1

“Never, ever have an affair with a married man because you only settle for second place when you do, sweetheart. You decrease your value as a woman when you go with another woman’s husband”

“In other words, you cheapen yourself. Wouldn’t you rather find your own husband and be his one and only?”

Naturally, the young girl’s answer is an emphatic “YES!”

Know Your Worth as a Woman:

Her maternal grandmother continued:

“When a woman dates a married man, she decreases her worth as a woman- and she does it immensely. She reduces herself to the lowest common denominator.”

“Moreover, she lives on the fantasy and false promise that the man will leave his wife for her. In most cases, he doesn’t. She only waits, with bated breath, wasting her valuable time on someone who doesn’t deserve her love let alone his wife’s.”

“Philanderers don’t change. And if he does leave his wife and marries the mistress, he’ll only eventually cheat on her too. When you have an affair with a married man, you sell yourself short. You set yourself up for a huge letdown later. Therefore, you must choose someone who isn’t already committed and who you can call your own.”

“That’s right.” the girl’s paternal grandmother agreed. Then she began to speak.

Rule Number 2

“And never ever throw herself at a man, or worse- crawl up behind someone who doesn’t want you. I see a lot of young girls in your age group doing this and the only thing it does is make them look desperate.”

“Moreover, the guys they chase only get an ego rush from it, them sit back with the buddies and laugh at the girl behind her back. Now, I know you haven’t begun dating yet, but I want to let you know now, so that you’ll avoid these pitfalls when you do begin to date.”

As the girl’s paternal grandmother, a widow, spoke her words, she listened attentively and the maternal grandmother nodded in agreement as she looked at the young girl with those beautiful, wide, but serious eyes.

Now before I go on, I realize that times have changed since I was a young girl and that I may offend a few people out there who may accuse me of using stereotypical gender roles and such. However, the girl in the story was I and this is the conversation we had.

Therefore, for those of you who are thinking about sending me a flamer about how “politically incorrect” this post sounds and that I should be more “gender neutral,” do not!

Know Your Worth as a Woman:

Don’t listen to the in things of today, listen to your heart.

Don’t waste both your time and mine by trying to “school” me on the unwritten rules of identity politics because I’m not interested! This post isn’t about identity politics.

What it is about is knowing your worth as a woman and a person. Also, it’s about the importance of self-value, which, sadly, is in short supply in people these days.

Getting back to the subject, my grandmothers sure knew what they were talking about. They were two of the smartest and socially savviest women I knew. God rest their souls, I considered them life-geniuses! They were both masters at human nature and the hidden motivations and intentions of people!

Our little talk really made an impression on me that day. I never forgot that conversation and continued to live by it.

Know Your worth as a Woman:

Rule Number 3

You must value yourself. Therefore, my point to the above story is that no matter what relationship you choose, heterosexual, homosexual, or otherwise, you should always know your worth. You should value yourself enough not to even begin a relationship with someone who’s already taken. Know that there are always better options.

I say this not to judge anyone, but to convince you to see that you’re worth so much more than you think. In other words, you’re worth so much more than being a side-partner to some creepy toad who doesn’t value women.

The same goes for men who have affairs with married women or settle for fem-toads who either don’t value them or who cheat on them. You must start treating yourselves better!

When you date someone who’s already in a marriage or committed relationship, you set yourself up to play second fiddle. To be okay with lapping up someone else’s sloppy seconds? Yuck! Why would anyone settle for that pathetic crap?

Here’s something else I’ll bet you haven’t thought of. If you have an affair with someone else’s romantic partner, you might as well be wearing their underwear! Egads!

Rule Number 4

Don’t settle. In other words, don’t be okay with someone who wants to only shack up with you!

Know Your Worth as a Woman:

The Value of a Wedding Band

Too many women these days don’t value themselves like they should, especially women who have suffered past bullying and abuse. And many predatory men will take advantage.

Take it from someone who made that mistake when she was young and naive. Shacking up isn’t what it’s cracked up to be.

A woman who prefers marriage over living together knows her value and isn’t afraid of making it clear what she wants out of life. She is confident and a man who is worth her time will respect her and be willing to commit his life to her and make her his wife.

In no way am I telling people how to live. If you’d rather live together than to be married, then that’s your business and I won’t judge you for it. And there are couples who live together and eventually marry but that’s a rare occurrence these days.

Know that you’re worthy of so much more.

If a man wants you to live with him but doesn’t want to marry, how much does he actually think of you? Really think about it.

He expects you to cook, clean, and go to bed with him every night, and yet, he doesn’t think enough of you to make it official? Remember that you teach people how to treat you by what you accept. Seriously, don’t you think you deserve better?

Rule Number 5

Don’t be afraid to go after the relationship you want.

Don’t be like the woman in the video!

Know Your Worth as a Woman:

Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve.

There are reasons why marriage is so much better than shacking up

1. There’s much more security.

Marriage is more legally binding than living together ever will be. Understand that people who marry make much more of a commitment to their partners than those who only live together.

2. There are higher levels of trust between partners.

The average couple who is married trusts each other more than the average couple who lives together outside marriage. I know that many will counter me with statistics of a high divorce rate. However, this should not deter you from getting married if that’s what you want.

When my husband and I were dating and the subject came up, I made it absolutely clear that the only man I would even consider living with would be the man I married. I knew what I wanted, and I didn’t fear speaking up about it.

Moreover, Mike loved and respected me for it. He thought a lot more of me, and eventually, he asked me to marry him. And the real kicker is that the first few times he asked, I said no because I wasn’t ready yet.

But he never gave up and eventually, I said yes.

3. Know Your Worth as a Woman:

Know your value. You are not free neither are you cheap.

There’s an old saying that was popular when I was growing up and it pertained to the attitudes of those who didn’t want the responsibility of marriage but wanted the perks of it:

“Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”

Nothing is free. There’s always a price in some way, shape, or form.

If I perform the duties of a wife, then I’m damn sure going to have the title. If I’m going to wash some guy’s dirty underwear, clip his toenails, or wash his funky feet when he’s sick and cannot do it himself, you can believe I’m going to do it with a marriage certificate and a wedding band.

When two people are truly in love, the chances are high that they will marry.

Realize that you have value. If you want marriage and your boyfriend doesn’t want to step up to the plate after you’re together for a few years, then let him go.

It won’t be easy, but don’t be afraid to walk away if your guy isn’t emotionally mature enough for marriage. Then you can make room for a man who deserves you. Understand that you deserve to be a wife, not a forever girlfriend.

Know Your Worth as a Woman:

Don’t be afraid to walk away from emotionally immature partners.

Therefore, love yourself enough to walk away from a man of low quality. Value yourself enough to wait for a high-quality man who deserves you and who wants your hand in marriage. You’re worth it, don’t you think?

http://www.thebridalbox.com/articles/benefits-of-marriage_0051522/

http://www.thelist.com/41041/surprising-benefits-married/

If you don’t learn to value and be true to yourself, how do you expect a potential partner to value and be true to you?

You value yourself by getting absolutely clear on what you will not settle for and what you won’t tolerate. Also, you value yourself by avoiding such partners who are known for cheating on their significant others.

You also value yourself by avoiding any toxic person, commanding respect, and being selective of friends and even choosier of dating and romantic partners.

Know that you deserve so much more. You deserve to be one and only in someone’s life and that should be non-negotiable. Anything less than that is unacceptable!

This post was all about what it means to know your worth as a woman so that you can start treating yourself better and going after what you know you deserve.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why is Self Acceptance Important? 21 Must-Know Reasons

2. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

3. Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some

4. Be Happy Be Yourself: 3 Benefits You Reap When You Stop Caring What Others Think

5. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

5 Things to Never Do with a Bully

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‘Want to know the 5 things to never do with a bully? Here are the top five mistakes you should never make with bullies so that you make yourself less vulnerable to them.

5 things to never do with a bully

The last thing you want is to give your bullies any ammunition they can use against you.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the five top things to never do with a bully.

Once you learn all about this super-important information, you will be able to make yourself more bully-proof and keep them from trashing your self-esteem any more than they already have. Moreover, they just might end up seeing you as a lost cause and move on to an easier target.

This post is all about the 5 things to never do with a bully so that you can preserve your right to be left in peace.

5 Things to never do with a bully

1. Never Apologize to a Bully.

For anything! Ever!

You must understand that bullies will only see your unnecessary apologies as weakness. Why? Because you’re taking responsibility for things that aren’t your fault.

And when you give bullies apologies that are undeserved, you take accountability for their deplorable behavior. Furthermore, you’re giving your bullies exactly what they want and they know it.

Bullies and abusers will try to force you to apologize for something you know isn’t your fault. In other words, they’ll try to make you sorry for things that are beyond your control.

Moreover, they’ll even try and make you apologize for something that doesn’t need an apology. Therefore, respond but don’t apologize.

In other words, don’t say, “I’m sorry,” or “I apologize.”

Here are ways you can respond to bullies who pull this crap. And these are very powerful responses. When you use these, you respond to these bullies without accepting blame. You also respond with strength and power.

  • You’ll get over it.
  • You’ll be alright.
  • By the end of the day, this won’t even matter.
  • It’s no big deal.
  • This isn’t a crisis. Everything’s going to be okay.

2. 5 Things to never do with a bully:

Never Compliment a bully.

Trust me, bullies, especially the arrogant and puffed up type, get their boots licked enough.

They get false compliments and fake sympathy from their sycophants daily. How do you think they got so sickeningly full of themselves? Compliments should only be handed out to people who deserve them.

I learned this the hard way when I was sixteen and a sophomore in high school.

I remember seeing a girl in the cafeteria at lunch, and she was wearing a lovely dress. Naturally, I told her that it was a beautiful dress and that I liked it. And I meant it from the bottom of my heart when I said it.

However, it only fueled her arrogance. She only sneered at me and said,

“I know. So what? Nobody likes you, and you think kissing up changes things?”

You can imagine how heartbroken I was.

Few things uplift a person like a sincere compliment, which comes from the heart. However, a bully will only take your heartfelt compliment and steamroll you with it. They will only wipe their butts with it, then throw it back at you.

They may accept anyone else’s compliment. But if it comes for you, your bullies will only see it as ass-kissing.

Realize that a bully will only see it as confirmation that they are better than you. A bully will also think that you’re only trying to suck up to them to get them off your back.

A compliment to a bully is nothing more than an ego boost. And why not? Again, bullies are used to having most other classmates or coworkers bow down before them.

Moreover, it’s an opportunity for them to rake your dignity over the coals.

Instead, be the one who gives these life-suckers and happiness thieves a healthy dose of the real world. Be indifferent toward them- like you just don’t give a crap about them.

They may get angry because they may think people owe them allegiance, but you won’t give them the wrong impression. And, most importantly, you’ll walk away with your self-respect intact.

3. 5 Things to never do with a bully:

Never admit anything to a bully.

Everyone makes mistakes. However, bullies won’t give you margin for error. Therefore, it’s best never to admit any error’s in front of them.

4. Never share Secrets in the presence of a bully.

If you’re a target of bullying, understand that they’re just looking for any chance to reveal any embarrassing information about you. You must realize that they hate you and all they want to do is hurt you.

Even if the information is innocent, like watching a slasher film, it’s better to keep it to yourself. Therefore, this is a no-brainer. When people bully you, it’s just best to guard your secrets with your life!

5. Never reveal any of your plans.

This is for everyone, but especially if you’re a target of bullying. Many people trumpet their goals and dreams.

Moreover, they announce their plans without realizing what ramifications it can bring. And, if you’re a target of bullying, all the more reason why you should keep your plans, goals, and dreams to yourself. Therefore, work quietly.

Understand that any time you broadcast your objectives, you place yourself at risk of others sabotaging you and trying to derail your plans.

Furthermore, your bullies are just waiting, with bated breath, to destroy you.

You must realize that not everyone wants you to succeed. Why? Because your success would force them to reflect on their own person failures and shortcomings.

Moreover, if you’re a target of bullying, your bullies will be damned before they allow someone they see as inferior  to reach success and overshadow them.

5 Things to Never Do with a bully:

Your success is a threat to your bullies’ power.

Bullies consider any success you enjoy as a personal affront. Any time you achieve a goal, you score a win. And when you score a win, you force your bullies into a place of lesser power.

Why, because it’s you who gets the recognition, praise, and glory, not your bullies. And they know it! You force them into the shadows while you get to shine and be recognized for your accomplishments.

This infuriates your bullies because they aren’t the ones in the spotlight!

Understand that the one thing bullies crave most is attention and adoration and when they find that you’re getting more of those things than they are, it’s Katie bar the door!

Naturally, they will launch all sorts of attacks against you. They will make a barrage of accusations. Also, they’ll even bring up the mistakes of your past to drive you back in the shade.

But see through it and stay above it. They only do it because you’ve threatened their power. And when bullies face the threat of losing their power and being driven into obscurity, they reveal their true colors.

In other words, you force them to expose themselves and their evil personalities.

5 Things to never do with a bully:

Two More Bonus Answers

1. Never try to Prove Yourself to a bully

Yes, I added a sixth answer as a bonus.  You should never try to prove yourself to a bully. Ever!

Bullies don’t deserve for you to expend so much effort to prove anything to them. Why? Because they’re not worthy of your best. Only the people who truly love you, uplift you and are proud of the person you’re becoming deserve that.

Only the people who have your back and are in your cheering section are worthy of the kind of work you put in.

‘You see? Bullies are the type of people who must have a target. In other words, they must have power over someone, anyone, or they end up feeling inadequate and useless (but aren’t they already?).

Bullies have an insatiable hunger for power. If they don’t have it, it drives them nuts.

If you’re a target of bullying, you only try to prove yourself to those who could care less either way. Moreover, you’ll be on an endless and futile quest. You’ll end up wasting precious time, which is time better spent focusing and working on you.

Understand that no one can prove themselves to a bully. It’s impossible because bullies only see the negative in others. They never have anything positive to credit anyone but themselves.

In fact, the better, stronger, smarter, braver, and more awesome you are, the more threatened your bullies feel.  Therefore, the more they’ll attack you to tighten their grip on your life.

The Only person you have anything to prove to is yourself.

Bullies hate strength, they hate smarts, and they hate any positive quality in anyone else but them.  Moreover, they especially despise them in the person possessing them is their victim, if their good points surpass theirs.

To a bully, control isn’t just about forcing you to do what they want. It’s about controlling your mind- your thoughts, attitudes, and preferences. In short, it’s about controlling your life and having the power to ruin it.

It’s about having the power to break you and wear you down. Bullies get off on that power. And when you consistently bend over backward to prove yourself to them, all it does is show them that they still have power over you.

Because, if they didn’t already have it, you wouldn’t be trying so hard. In fact, you wouldn’t try at all because you wouldn’t give a crap what they thought.

Remember! You have nothing to prove to anyone other than yourself.

2. 5 Things to Never do with a bully:

Never Pander to them

I’ve seen so many victims non-victims pander, or, in laymen terms, suck up to bullies. Bullies can intimidate and threaten you. No doubt about it!

Therefore, anytime someone feels threatened, their first instinct is to do anything they have to do to quell the danger. That, I completely understand.

But is it always a good idea to pander to your bullies? No. Here’s why.

1. It wouldn’t change things. Therefore, when you pander, you only give away more of your personal power. And that’s exactly what bullies want. Also, bullies see pandering as bowing down and kissing their feet.

And they only get a huge power rush and ego boost from it and, as we all know, bullies can’t get enough of those.

2. Would it change your bullies’ minds about harming you? It might for the moment. In other words, you may indeed pacify them, but the appeasement will only too quickly wear off. Trust me on this one, your bullies will come back for more later. That is a given.

5 things to never do with a bully:

Pandering Only makes you feel worse later.

3. You’ll end up feeling like a complete wuss later. You’ll only ruminate, asking yourself over and over again, “Why the hell did I just kowtow to this creep?” or “Why do I continuously let these people take a deuce all over me every chance they get?”

Trust me, your self-esteem will take a huge dent and you’ll end up kicking yourself for it later.

Pandering is counterproductive in the end. However,  start thinking for yourself and standing up to anyone who violates your boundaries. It’s true that they may bully you harder for it. You may have to fight harder and for longer to assert yourself.

And yes. The harassment may get worse before it gets better. But, in the end, you’ll feel better about yourself knowing you didn’t bend over for those morons. You’ll feel more confident and be proud of yourself, knowing that you stood firm and that you eventually overcome. And there is no better feeling. I guarantee it!

What’s the best way to handle a situation like this?

You handle it by simply staying above it- by not reacting to the bullies’ foolishness. Moreover, you deal with their abuse by continuing to enjoy your wins and successes and letting them stew in their own juices.

Put simpler, just let them talk. Let them launch all the personal attacks they desire as they seethe themselves into a ball of madness!

Because when they act out and spew nonsense against you, they only dig their own graves.

In the meantime, continue to work quietly and stealthily until you reach your goals. The more quietly you work, the less interference you’ll have from bullies and a few other toxic life-suckers. Therefore, the less roadblocks you will run into along the way.

And once you reach your goals, then you can bask in it. Even better, you can give your bullies the surprise of their lives.

“Your journey is silent, but your destination will be loud.”

5 Things to never Do with a Bully:

In Conclusion:

Remember that you’re the target. Bullies and everyone else will see any of the above five behaviors as sucking up.

Moreover, when you do any of them, you only reveal possible weaknesses and leave yourself vulnerable. Therefore, it’s best to stay way away from these behaviors.

Realize that any time people target you for bullying, everyone will automatically expect the worst from you. Why? Because, sadly, people despise victims of bullying.

And no, it may not be justified. It may not be fair but neither is life. It is what it is and you must do everything you can to make the best of it. Avoiding these behaviors is how you make the best of it.

This post was a lesson in the 5 things to never do with a bully so that you can keep the bullying you suffer to a minimum and spare your dignity.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Unhealthy Ways to Deal with Bullying: 11 No-No’s to be Aware of

2. Bullying and Banter: 9 Differences You Must Know

3. Never Chase People Who Don’t See Your Worth

4. Neediness: 5 Reasons It’s Unhealthy and How to Overcome It

5. How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: 5 Powerful Steps

relational aggression definition

Relational Aggression: 12 Must-Know Reasons Bullies Use It

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‘Want to know what relational aggression is and how bullies use it to destroy you? Here are all the details about it, what it can do, and how you can protect yourself.

relational aggression

“Don’t Associate With Her!”

It’s bad enough when bullies mistreat you themselves. However, when they set out to prevent you from becoming friends with others besides them, that’s even worse.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what relational aggression is, what it consists of, and why bullies use it against you.

Once you learn all about these bullying tactics and the harm they’re meant to cause, you will have a whole new understanding of it and how you can protect yourself against it.

This post is all about relational aggression and all that comes with it so that you can more effectively defend yourself against it.

Relational Aggression

Social and relational bullies are like obsessive exes who won’t allow you to move on from the hurt. You know the type- an ex who claims they don’t want you but doesn’t want anyone else to have you either.

Therefore, they deliberately try to isolate you to wield power over you. Moreover, they want to make you believe that you need their approval to have friends who love you. In that, they want you to believe that you need their say so to live a happy life.

Here are the reasons bullies use this type of aggression.

1. To isolate you

Again, bullies want to isolate you from others. Why? To induce feelings of loneliness and alienation in you.

Moreover, they want to lessen any chances that you might get support and protection from others. Bullies know that if they succeed at this, they can bully you any time they feel like it.

Put another way, isolating you means that they can more safely continue, even escalate their attacks. If the bullies can turn everyone against you, then, again, you’re least likely to get support, and others will less likely hold them responsible for their behavior.

2. To instill shame in you

Another goal of these type of bullying is to instill shame in you. ‘You see? If bullies can cause you to feel shame, they can then make you believe you somehow deserve for them to bully you.

Therefore, you have less chance of fighting back or reporting them to authority.

3. Why Bullies Use Relational Aggression:

To get back at you for a real or perceived slight

Many times, bullies use relational aggression to get revenge on you. Bullies have fragile egos and are too easily offended.

Therefore, whether you meant the offense or not, your bullies will turn others against you to punish you for offending them.

4. They’re jealous of your good relationships with others.

Bullies always feel the need to compete with you (and everyone else). Therefore, if you have lots of friends and allies, they may be jealous that you have more friends than they do.

Moreover, they may also be jealous of your confidence, charm and charisma. Therefore, they have an intense desire to knock you down a peg or two.

5. For gratification and satisfaction

Lots of times, bullies do it just for the satisfaction of seeing you under stress or alienated from everyone. In fact, they get gratification in seeing you suffer. Period!

To some, this may sound a little far-fetched. However, there are a lot of sadistic people in the world and bullies can be the most sadistic.

6. Bullies Use Relational Aggression To Silence You

Think about this. If bullies can use relational aggression and turn everyone against you, the least likely others are to believe you when you report bullying.

Therefore, if no one believes you after you’ve spoken out a few time, the more likely you are to just give up, clam up, and not say another word about it.

And you’ll think, “what’s the point in speaking when no one listens to anything I have to say?” Therefore, you’ll soon feel you have no other choice than to stay quiet.

Bullies instinctively know this and you’d better believe it’s exactly what they’re counting on.

7. To have the freedom to bully you anytime they want

Again, if your bullies can use relational aggression and turn everyone against you, then they can succeed in isolating you. And once they isolated you, then they can bullying you at will. Why?

Because no one will help you and might even get enjoyment out of watching your bullies drag you through the mud. Therefore, who are you going to speak out to about what’s happening to you?

Therefore, there will be nothing to stop them.

8. For protection

If your bullies can turn people against you, then they have protection from any accountability. Moreover, if you try to defend yourself and stand up to them, others will more than likely take the bullies’ side and protect them.

9. Bullies Use Relational Aggression For Confirmation that you’re worthless

Your isolation would serve as confirmation that you really are a terrible person and completely worthless. Remember that bullies want to be right about you. Therefore, they can’t handle any proof that they just might be wrong about you.

10. to get favor from others

In turning others against you, bullies have more of a change of garnering favor from them… against you. Therefore, these people will serve as just another tool for them.

11. immunity from consequences

If everyone hates you, chances are that they’ll enjoy seeing you get bullied. Therefore, they won’t hold anyone who bullies you accountable.

12. power and domination over you

Once bullies succeed with their relational aggression and turn others against you, you are powerless. Therefore, your bullies have all the power to dominate you. And what can you do about it?

Therefore, these dozen reasons are the rewards your bullies reap from the use of social and relational aggression.

What are the tools of relational aggression?

1. Gossip

Gossip is purely judgmental and includes hasty generalizations about your character and private life. Moreover, it has nothing to do with the school, community, or workplace.

The purpose of gossip is to control your social status by demoting you on the social hierarchy. Another purpose of gossip is to justify any punishment you suffer.

And they justify it by promoting a collective view that you don’t deserve respect, dignity, or humanity, but only abuse and hostility.

 Consequently, once  you’re deemed to deserve abuse, others will always escalate it!

2. Rumors

Rumors are only stories about you without proof of fact.  However, they pack a mighty punch because, if people want to believe it, it will be taken as truth.

Unlike gossip, which is shared between two people, rumors are spread over a town, company, school, or organization.

Rumors can either be made up, or they can start from a tiny grain of truth and grow bigger.

Therefore, rumors are another tool in the relational bully’s toolbox.

3. Another tool in Relational Aggression:

Smear Campaigns

Smear campaigns have a goal. They are deliberate attempts to damage your reputation and public image by spreading lies and malicious tales about you to defame you.

Also, during a smear campaign, bullies recruit many others to keep it going. Thus, the smear campaign is the most potent weapon in the relational bully’s arsenal.

Relational aggression goes through stages. Here’s the process:

1. First, your bullies watch you closely.

Relational bullies start by carefully observing you. They keep track of you to find out who you associate with, who you date, even who your family members are. Moreover, they dig up information about your life.

2. Once your bullies find out who you associate with, they cozy up to them and begin Telling them bad things about you.

When they find out who your friends are, they then drop subtle suggestions to them about you. They may tell your friends little white lies about you.

However, they may also take a more obvious approach and threaten them with harm for having any more to do with you. Bullies will also mistreat your partner and even go after your family.

Remember that bullies thrive on fear, and their goal is to isolate you and make you more vulnerable. Therefore, they do this by cutting you off from any possible sources protection or assistance.

3. During the third stage of relational aggression, They watch and wait as, one by one, friends slowly begin turning against you.

Once the rumor mill begins to do your bullies’ dirty work for them, they will watch and wait while gradually escalating the bullying.

However, they may make sure to keep things moving along by telling your friends that you’re saying terrible things about them behind their backs. Moreover, they may bait you into altercations.

Also, they may slyly instigate an altercation between you and a few of your former friends.

4. Once your bullies have succeeded in alienating you from everyone, they bully you freely and with impunity.

In other words, your bullies can bully you without limitations. Bullies can also keep you silent about the abuse. Moreover, you no longer have anyone to confide in about the abuse.

Therefore, you’ll likely suffer in silence. Why?  Because you won’t be able to talk about the bullying without getting rebuffed or ridiculed.

Knowledge is power. Therefore, get wise to your bullies and relational aggression. It’s the first step in protecting yourself.

This post is all about relational aggression so that you can recognize it when it happens and take steps to protect yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Social Bullying Examples: 7 Reasons Bullies Destroy Relationships

2. Bullying on Social Media: 5 Reasons Why People Do It

3. How Bullies Gain Power: 9 Astonishing Ways They Do It.

4. A Bully’s Perspective: What Your Bullies Want to Say to You

5. Smear Campaigns: 4 Tactics Bullies Use to Sully Your Reputation

you aint shit song

“You Ain’t Shit!” – 5 Reasons Why Bullies Tell You This

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“You ain’t shit” seems to be the most common go-to attack for bullies. ‘Want to know why they tell you this? Here are the most common motives behind the statement and how you should re-frame it to buffer your self-esteem.

"you ain't shit!"

Any time you show some confidence, it will make your bullies feel uncomfortable. Why? Because it will threaten their power over you. Moreover, if you score a win or accomplish an achievement, your bullies won’t like it. Therefore, your bullies will say something to cut you down to size.

Their favorite go to attack is to tell you that “you ain’t shit.”

Therefore, in this post, you will learn exactly why your bullies use this phrase. You’ll also learn how to use context to buffer your self-esteem against it and how to counter it.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will better be able to brush it off when bullies use this statement.

This post is all about why bullies like to tell you that “you ain’t shit,” so that you can re-frame it and use it to raise your confidence.

“You Ain’t Shit!”

Introducing Rev. Aldtric Johnson

This post was inspired by Minister Aldtric Johnson of the “Be Blesstified” blog. He is a talented blogger and this is a must read for anyone who is a target of bullying.

Not only is his post packed with truths that we don’t often think about, but it’s also loaded with good humor! I can tell you that not only did I learn a few things, but I was in stitches as I read it! So please take the time to read the post below, you’ll be so glad you did!

In the words of Pastor Aldtric Johnson:
“This is a much too common insult in our culture, and yes, the bad grammar is always intentional…

“You ain’t worth s**t! Of course, implying that someone doesn’t have the value of feces, crap, refuse, doo-doo, dung, ‘ish’. It can be very hurtful if you allow it, especially if you are insecure or struggle with self-esteem. Or, if it’s told to a child by a parent, authority figure or peer.

It’s damage can last well into adulthood. So, let me give you a little ammunition with biblical support in case someone ever tells you, “You ain’t worth shiggity!”

Even Sh*t has value.

God created everything with value. Everything! Even doo-doo! We all know that there’s an industry built around the use of animal dung to make mulch and fertilizer.

Why? Because God put purpose and power, even in poop. Not only does it have value, but great value. People pay good money for a sack of s**t at Home Depot and Lowe’s.

God, in His wisdom gave waste the power to make things grow…so even waste doesn’t have to be wasted.

But, let’s look at the bible. There, we find the ‘S’-word was used for two ‘F’-words…both FERTILIZER and FUEL. Not only did they use it to grow their food, but they used it as fuel/coal to heat their food too.

When Bullies Tell You, “You ain’t Shit,” Look up these Bible verses on the value of crap:

Luke 13:7-8 (NKJV)
7 Then he said to the keeper of his vineyard, ‘Look, for three years I have come seeking fruit on this fig tree and find none. Cut it down; why does it use up the ground?’ 8 But he answered and said to him, ‘Sir, let it alone this year also, until I dig around it and fertilize it.

Ezekiel 4:15 (NKJV)
15 Then He said to me, “See, I am giving you cow dung instead of human waste, and you shall prepare your bread over it.”

So, don’t get it twisted. God has value for dung. He has a purpose for poo, and He has a purpose for you.

Feces is used to diagnose illnesses, research for cures for disease, and do scientific research. There’s value in doo doo!

So, if anybody ever tells you that “You aren’t worth s**t,” tell them thank you! Tell them of it’s value. And then, remind them that if they ‘ain’t’ working God’s purpose for their life, tell them “S**t is worth more than you!”

Aldtric Johnson’s Blog – Be Blesstified

Now, here’s my take on it.

So, Why do Bullies Make the “You Ain’t Shit” Statement?

As mentioned earlier, bullies use this statement to cut you down to size. And they do it anytime you win at something and others either announce it or tell them. Also, they may tell you this anytime you show pride in yourself. Also, they do it anytime they overhear you sharing your successes with others.

So, why do bullies spew this ratchet statement?

1. They’re threatened By Your Confidence

Realize that your confidence will always threaten your bullies. Moreover, your bullies will only see your confidence as arrogance. And they will call you arrogant for the sole purpose of shaming you for it to get you to tone it down.

Moreover, they may even call you this to tear down your confidence and demoralize you. Realize that confidence is your first line of defense against bullying. And this is why bullies want to destroy it.

2. To Erode Your Self-Esteem

If  you have healthy self-esteem, your bullies won’t be able to tear you down as easily. Therefore, they throw subtle digs and zingers to chip away at your self-esteem.

Look at self-esteem as an invisible fortress. In order for an enemy to invade and take over, they must destroy the fortress first. It’s the same with bullies. They must destroy your self-esteem before they can invade you and take over your life.

Therefore, they begin by subtle verbal taunts to soften you up.

3. Why Bullies tell you, “You Ain’t Shit”

To Assert Superiority over you

To assert domination over you, your bullies must first cut you down to size. Bullies want to be superior to you. Therefore, they will make this statement to feel more powerful and to make you feel powerless.

4. To Humiliate you in front of others

Have you noticed that bullies will usually tell you this in front of an audience? Understand that they do this to humiliate you and to entertain others at your expense.

Bullying is hurtful enough in private. However, it’s several times worse in public, when there are others around to see it.

5. To Put you in your place

When you succeed at something, bullies consider it an affront to their power over you. Moreover, your win only reminds them of all the things they failed at.

There are reasons why bullies discourage you. And they do it deliberately. Realize that your bullies are more aware of your potential than you are and they are jealous of that potential.

Moreover, these people are scared to death that you’re going to make it in life later on. Therefore, they ridicule your confidence and try their hardest to make you ashamed of it so that you’ll tone it down a little.

Bullies know that if they can convince you that having pride in your win is arrogance, they can fool you into suppressing your confidence. In that, they can steer you away from success. So, see this for what it is.

It’s a sneaky form of sabotage!

Understand that these people see you as inferior to them. Therefore, any accomplishments you make will threaten their power. Moreover, it would crush their egos.

Understand that these people aren’t happy. Why do you think they go out of their way to bring you down, rain on your parade, trash your dreams?

Think about it. How many happy people do you see sitting or standing around putting others down? Therefore, realize that when they tell you, “you ain’t shit,” they just might be projecting their own feelings of inadequacy onto you.

And they tell you these things because they want you to believe it! Moreover, they want you to live up to it!

Realize that this phrase usually comes from jealousy.

So, how do you counter your bullies when they tell you, “you ain’t shit?”

Simple, you let it go in one ear and out the other. Or, you can do as Rev. Aldtric Johnson suggested, you can tell them, “thank you.”

Also, look at the context of it. Did you win at something? For example, did you finally accomplish a goal that you’ve worked hard to attain? Did someone give you recognition for a job well done? If so, feel good about it and laugh at your bullies.

Why? Because they’re only saying these things out of jealousy and to keep from feeling inferior to you.

Are you a confident person? Maybe your bullies are jealous of your confidence.

Again, just look at them, smile, and say, “thank you.” Then watch your bullies seethe, knowing they didn’t get the reaction they wanted from you.

This post was all about why bullies tell you, “You ain’t shit,” so that you’ll know where it comes from and buffer your confidence against it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

2. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

3. Things School Bullies Try to Hide: 13 Things They’re Ashamed Of

4. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

5. Jealousy and Bullying: 7 Proven Signs Your Bullies are Jealous

what happens when you set boundaries in a relationship

What Happens When You Set Boundaries: 7 Amazing Outcomes

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‘Want to know what happens when you set boundaries? The good and the bad? Here are several things that come about when you finally stand up for yourself. Also, you’ll feel better knowing that the good vastly outweighs the bad!

what happens when you set boundaries

Setting boundaries is always good because it promotes respect among people and makes for a polite society where peace and harmony can exist.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what happens when you set boundaries. Moreover, you will learn the good and the bad tasting (but good for you) results.

Once you learn all about this useful and important information, you will feel more compelled to set boundaries and take back your right to live in peace.

This post is all about what happens when you set boundaries so that you can gather the courage to establish your own boundaries and take back your peace.

What happens when you set boundaries?

When you establish boundaries, you build an invisible fortress around yourself that protects you from abuse.  But first, lets discuss the good results.

1. You get to know yourself better.

When you set boundaries, you become much clearer on what you will and will not tolerate. Moreover, you become more familiar with your likes and dislikes. Thus, you get to know yourself better.

2. Your self-esteem will improve drastically

Once you begin setting boundaries, you’ll feel as if you accomplished a huge feat. Because, you will have!

Anytime you set boundaries after you’ve spent so much time not having any, you discover that you’ve made a huge step in taking back your autonomy!

Therefore, your self-esteem will get a huge boost and you’ll feel so much better about yourself. The people who care for you will say, “Look at you! You did it!”

You finally got sick of other people’s bullshit and put your foot down! Moreover, you stood up for yourself and told a few creeps where they could stick it!

That would sure make me proud of myself! And it will you too!

3. Toxic people will slowly disappear from your life.

Bullies and other such losers may challenge your boundaries at first. However, if you continue to stick to your guns and hold firm, they will, over time, give up and move on to an easier target.

Therefore, you’ll take back your peace and live a much happier life!

4. What happens when you set boundaries?

Your overall mental health will improve.

This is because, in setting boundaries, you protect your overall mental health. Therefore, the more you do this, the better for your psychological well-being.

Moreover, your mind will continue to improve over time the longer you continue to keep those boundaries in place.

5. You’ll be more selective in who you allow in your life

In other words, you’ll keep the bullies and abusers out of your life and only invite people who are positive and uplifting. Even better, you’ll do this without apology nor guilt because you’ll know without a doubt that you deserve better.

Now, before we go on, I realize that, in today’s society, people preach and squawk about “inclusion.” However, when people are bullying and abusing you, inclusion shouldn’t even come into it!

And this goes no matter what race, gender, religion, or orientation you or your bully or abuser may claim.

Abuse is abuse no matter who it comes from or who it’s aimed at. Therefore, you have every right to exclude from your life anyone who treats you like a doormat. You have a duty to yourself to protect your peace at all costs!

6. You’ll have more time for your own priorities.

In other words, you’ll make time for your own needs because you won’t allow users to take up so much of your time with their problems. Therefore, you’ll have more time for self-care and to pursue your own goals, priorities, and interests.

7. What happens when you set boundaries? You’ll be more determined not to go back to BS.

Once you taste a life free of bullying and abuse, you’ll be even more determined never to go back to being a doormat. Therefore, you’ll be more compelled to keep your boundaries in place and not allow anyone to stick so much as a toe over them.

You’ve been on both sides of the fence. In other words, you know what it’s like to have people shit on you every chance they get.

On the other hand, you’ve also discovered what it’s like to be treated well. Therefore, you’ll choose the side of greener pastures and never go back to the old life.

What Happens When You Set Boundaries?

6 Tactics Toxic People Use When You Finally establish limits

In movies and television, victims can stand up to bullies and automatically either get left alone or become friends with their former tormentors. However, this is not reality in most cases.

However, don’t let that stop you. Think of it like this. When you’re sick, you must take medicine. The medicine may taste downright disgusting. However, you still must take it if you want to get well and return to optimal health.

It’s the same with setting boundaries. You may endure a lot of discomfort at first. However, you’ll thank yourself later!

With that said, you must realize that bullies and abusers will not relinquish their power so easily. In other words, they will not be good sports and hand your human rights back over to you, nor will they bow out of your life gracefully.

Remember that human predators have an insatiable need to wield power over others, and without that power, they feel lost.

Why? Because bullies have no redeemable qualities and they’re losers in life. Also, since they can’t get power by their own merit, the only way to get it is by ruining someone else’s life.

Make no mistake about it. Once you begin setting boundaries, they will do the following:

1. What Happens When You Set Boundaries?

Bullies and toxic people will gaslight you.

They’ll try to convince you that you’re in the wrong or that you’re becoming unhinged. Understand that they do this to make you doubt yourself and keep allowing them to abuse you.

They may tell you that you’re imagining things or that you’re just too sensitive.

Therefore, don’t fall for this bullshit! Don’t allow them to add their spin to make you feel like the bad guy. Know that you’re in the right and continue to stand firm.

2. They will lay guilt trips.

And they’ll do it by trying to convince you that you’re selfish or self-centered for not allowing them to mistreat you. Therefore, understand that bullies are masters at this, especially female bullies who use feminine charm to deceive bystanders and authority figures.

Stick to your guns, no matter what they say!

3. They may recruit followers and start a smear campaign.

Human predators may recruit followers to spread rumors and lies about you. These people will malign you to others to destroy your good name and credibility.

Moreover, expect this to happen many times. Why? Because bullies and abusers are relentless. They don’t give up so easily.

They’re also vindictive. They will do these things out of retaliation for your having the gall to stand up to them and assert your rights.

But don’t give up! Keep your boundaries in place!

4. What Happens When You Set Boundaries?

Bullies and abusers will try to turn your friends against you.

Females, although becoming more and more physically violent with time, commit much of their bullying by dividing and conquering. In other words, they try to isolate you by attacking your relationships.

Think about it. Chances are that your friends know your deepest, darkest secrets. They would know the most intimate details about your life. Friends are a GOLDMINE of information to human predators.

Again, expect your bullies to do these types of things. Moreover, instead of caving in, let their antics prompt you to double down on your boundaries.

5. They will project their shortcomings onto you.

Bullies have flaws and their greatest fear is having them exposed. What better way to keep their imperfections hidden than to either project them onto you?

They will also do this for retaliation and to keep their power over you. Therefore, dig your heels even deeper and fight back twice as hard.

6. They will distract others’ attention away from their flaws by pointing out yours.

“Don’t look over here. Look over there!” Or, more appropriately, “Don’t look at me! Look at her!”

What better way is there to hide their own shortcomings than putting the spotlight on yours? It shouldn’t be so easy but it is!

However, be resilient and keep your boundaries in place. Because eventually, they’ll give up and move on to someone who’s easier to control.

Understand that it will get worse before it gets better. You will get a ton of push-back and resistance when you first begin setting boundaries.

However, continue to hold firm no matter how hard your predators may make life for you. And know that eventually, they’ll grow tired and move on.

This post was all about what happens when you set boundaries so that you can know what to expect and continue to hold firm with toughness and grit.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some 

2. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

3. Asserting Boundaries: The Pros Outweigh the Cons

4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

5. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

cliques and bullying in school

Cliques and Bullying: 3 Dirty Secrets Cliques Try to Hide

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‘Want to know all about cliques and bullying? Here are dirty secrets cliques don’t want you to know and why you’re better off not belonging to them.

cliques and bullying

People will establish a clique for the sole purpose of excluding others and for no apparent reason. Moreover, cliques have only one goal, to make their members feel superior to others.

Their criteria for “good enough” changes like the weather, and they have no special interests, causes, or abilities.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about cliques and bullying. Also, you will learn the secrets they don’t want you to know so that you can buffer your self-esteem from their attacks.

Once you learn all about these types of bullies, you will confidently look at them with hilarity instead of allowing them to make you feel like crap.

This post is all about cliques and bullying so that you can remain confident when they come for you.

Cliques and Bullying

A clique will exclude someone for reasons as trivial as not wearing name-brand shoes. Tomorrow, the same person may wear name-brand shoes. However, the members may exclude them because their hair is too straight or too curly.

You get the point. Cliques are just groups of bullies. Moreover, they exclude people for no logical reason. With that said, we can conclude that their members do it strictly to bolster their egos. Understand that these bullies achieve a psychological payoff. And that is to feel like they’re superior.

The Difference between cliques and clubs.

Now, when we talk about cliques, we don’t mean clubs. Clubs are different in that they promote an interest in a specific hobby or subject.

For example, a Math Club or a Music Club. Naturally, if you didn’t have an interest in Music, you wouldn’t be allowed to join the Music Club, which makes perfect sense. The same goes with Math clubs, motorcycle clubs, etc.

However, cliques have no real purpose other than to stoke the overstuffed (or bruised) egos of their members. Nothing more. Cliques have no substance behind them.

They’re a farce, all about appearances- a mirage.

Therefore, you must realize that anyone who has to establish or join a clique to feel good about themselves obviously doesn’t have much else going for them.

Only bullies belong to cliques, always. Moreover, they will look for any excuse to attack those on the outside. They then use differences to justify themselves.

People who join cliques must make someone feel bad to make themselves feel good.

Cliques and bullying:

Here’s how to look at it when a clique bullies you.

Sadly, cliques don’t realize that, by limiting their associations to only those in the group, they cheat themselves. In other words,  they only forfeit their chances of meeting interesting people who would otherwise be great assets to their lives.

Therefore, if you’ve been rejected by a clique, don’t feel bad. Instead, ask yourself these questions.

  • Are those frauds even worth knowing?
  • Are they even up to my level?
  • Would they benefit my life in any way?
  • Am I really missing anything?

Understand that cliques have no real benefits. They are the same boring people, having the same boring conversations, and living the same lackluster lives.

And if being a part of the clique is the only way its members can have any excitement in their lives, then  you should pity them.

Realize that cliques restrict their members from talking to anyone outside of the group. As a result, they miss out on possibility of meeting someone who would make a positive difference in their lives. Also, they forgo meeting anyone who could actually teach them something.

So, seriously! Who’s missing out here? You or them?

Cliques and Bullying:

1. High School Cliques and bullies

They May Have Their Little Kingdoms In High School. but What Becomes of Them Once They’re Out of School?

Most bullies may peak in high school. However, most only become irrelevant in the real world.

High school is child’s play. It’s the kiddie pool of life. Therefore, graduation means the end of the line for most “popular” bullies and cliques.

I say this because most of my former school bullies had their fame in school. However, they’ve have done very little with their lives since.

It’s the same for most bullies and cliquey people. Most achieve very little as adults, while many of those they have bullied evolve into remarkable and highly successful adults.

There are bullies who become successful in life also but it usually doesn’t last. They end up losing it all in the end.

I know this for a fact because  one of my older school bullies got a Nursing degree. She then worked as the Director of Nursing in a nursing home.

She seemed to be moving up in the world and got handed the most favorable positions. This is only because she was well-known in the town. In fact, most of my bullies from school either became nurses, law enforcement, teachers, or went to work in corrections.

Sadly, while working her prestigious DON position, this old bully got hooked on prescription pills. Eventually someone caught her stealing out of the medicine cart. Therefore, the owners of the nursing facility fired her from her job. But that wasn’t all.

Next, the state of Tennessee revoked her nursing license. Then her husband divorced her. Finally, she ended up penniless and working in a local cafe for minimum wage.

I can only imagine how humbled and humiliated she felt.

Cliques and bullying:

Most bullies end up meeting their karma.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t secretly wish for anything bad to happen to anyone. Moreover, I don’t boast of the misfortunes of others- not even those who tormented me in school.

However, if you get your jollies out of making others feel lousy, Karma does repay eventually. Believe it or not, most of the coddled and babied daddy’s girls and puffed up mama’s boys get a colossal letdown once they’re out on their own.

I’ve come to find out that this has happened to many of my former bullies. They bully innocent others during school and, for a while, they get away with it.

However, years later, they get the comeuppance they never expected as adults.

Here are a few reasons why most of my ex-bullies aren’t very successful:

To be truly successful, a person must leave their comfort zones and face their worst fears. They must brave the possibility of failure. Sadly, most bullies will never leave what’s familiar to them.

They’d rather stay in the same old, one-horse town they grew up in. Why? Because, there, these bullies have favor. As a result, they continue to get opportunities, promotions, and rewards handed to them by their “town connections.”

These are only small, hallow victories. However, bullies would rather stay and hold on to those tiny victories rather than go where no one knows them. Why? Because when you go somewhere you aren’t already established, you automatically become an unknown.

You don’t get the favor you got back home. Therefore, you must start from square one. You must re-establish yourself, which takes a lot of time and hard work.

Bullies know this and it scares them to death. They’ll never go anywhere where they’ll have to start over. Remember that bullies think they’re entitled.

They’re so used to getting instant gratification that they’d rather stay home and continue piggy-backing on their town connections. Therefore, they’ll choose to keep winning those shallow victories rather then to go out in the world and chance failure.

Cliques and Bullying:

What becomes of those they bullied in school?

People who were bullied in school, on the other hand, often leave the town they were bullied in. In fact, most of these victims can’t wait to leave. Therefore, they do, once they’re out of school.

Victims of bullying often have an nagging desire to go where no one knows them. They’re itching to go somewhere they can start anew and begin carving their own path in life.

Therefore, they aren’t afraid to leave the unfamiliar because the familiar only brought them tons of abuse, heartache, and adversity. Therefore, they’ll risk failure just to get the hell away from the town they were bullied in.

These people are willing to work hard because they’re determined to make good lives for themselves. Moreover, people who survived bullying are willing to sacrifice the time to get to where they want to be.

Think about it. They never got any of the favors and special treatment their bullies received. They had to pull themselves up by the bootstraps and bust their asses if they wanted to achieve anything. So, the sacrifice isn’t so frightening to them.

In short, where the bullies see the dread of hard work and having to wait, the bullied see opportunity. Therefore, this is why many survivors of bullying end up wildly successful. More so than the creeps that bullied them.

2. Cliques and Bullying:

Another Downside

Again, most of my bullies never left. Why? Because they knew they wouldn’t get the special treatment and free passes in any other jurisdiction. Therefore, they stay where their friends were.

Then, they can continue to get by on nepotism and the “Good Ole Boy System.” Sadly, this occurs in most all towns.

However, here’s the thing about small towns and rural areas. It doesn’t take long, nor does it take much effort to maximize potential in these areas. And this goes for even for well-connected bullies and cliques.

A person can only go so far in a rural area. Therefore, let them have their small town safety net because they’re only playing in the kiddie pool! They would drown in the big pond.

High school is the highlight of most people’s lives, so bullies had better enjoy it while they can. Why? Because the real world doesn’t care who you were in high school.

Adult life has no concern with how popular you were. The real world could care less if you were Homecoming Queen, the varsity football star, or on the cheer leading squad. Moreover, the workplace doesn’t care if you were in a fraternity, sorority or if you were class president!

All the real world wants to know is whether or not you can contribute something to it. And most bullies are as incompetent as they come and add nothing but negativity to life.

Therefore, if nothing else, know this. The differences that your classmates ridicule are the same characteristics and skills others will value and admire later.

3. There Are Benefits to Not Belonging to a Clique

People put entirely too much importance on belonging to a certain clique. However, I want to assure you that by you’re so much better off.

There is something to be said for not belonging to any particular group. Why? Because it allows you to have a great degree of freedom. Anytime you are a member of a clique, restrictions come with it.

Moreover, one of those restrictions is the unwritten rule against associating with anyone outside of that circle. Moreover, if a member is caught talking to an “outsider,” that person runs the risk of being ostracized and ousted by the other members.

Therefore, it just isn’t worth it. Why would anyone want to have someone else prevent them from meeting new people?

Cliques and bullying:

By not belonging to a clique, you can think freely.

When you become a member of a clique, the other members will expect your beliefs, attitudes, and opinions to match theirs. If you don’t hold the same values, they’ll either kick you out or worse, bully you.

Any unwritten rule that forbids you to associate with anyone outside of a group is utter hogwash! There is no reason you should not be able to associate with people you choose.

No two people are the same, and you should be free to have your own opinions, beliefs, and attitudes. Therefore, do what makes YOU happy.

Stop trying to please or impress your “friends.” Because if you have to suppress yourself to keep these people, then they aren’t your friends.

Never allow a clique or your desire to be a part of one cause you to pass up opportunities to get to know great people. Why? Because these may be people who someday prove to be wonderful friends and associates!

Moreover, never allow others to restrict you from being your authentic self! If the clique cannot respect and accept your individuality, then you must ask yourself, “Are these people really worth my time?”

Most Cliques are Fakers and Posers

During high school, I can’t count the classmates who were posers and fakers. My guess was that these posers accounted for at least half of the class.

It shouldn’t be surprising that in high school, everything is based on appearances. Therefore, those who fake it the best and most convincingly are the ones who are bullies and usually, most popular.

However, most high school kids don’t pay attention to detail. Thankfully, I was one of the few who did.

In the lunch line, I would notice that most of the guys in the clique would wear their flashy, designer clothes. Yet, most of them would pull out a cheap, fifteen-dollar wallet to pay for their lunches.

Cliques and bullying:

Cheap Wallets and Knock-off Handbags

Also, the girls in the clique would wear their high-fashion clothes. However, cheap, knock-off “Gucci” handbags would be hanging from their shoulders and arms. If you paid close attention and had an eye for detail, you could tell by the stitching patterns and thread counts that these purses were fake.

All through the school, you would see the fake gold, Rolex watches. They also wore faux fur and suede, cheap costume jewelry, and fake leather and snakeskin. It was laughable at best!

Just to be clear, I have no qualms with anyone who has these items. Heck, they may like them. However, when you’re a bully and you buy these knock-offs to look like you’re rolling in money, you only look ridiculous. And you get no respect. Sorry.

In contrast, most victims of bullying don’t feel like they need to have all that fake crap, yet they’re the ones bullies target.

Targets, You’re Better Than That, and They Know It

You may still be wondering what the point to this story is. The point is that, if you’re a target, your bullies will most likely bully you over your virtues, not your faults. Moreover, to keep everyone’s attention of their insecurities and fakery, they will project them onto you.

In short, people who are authentic and real are comfortable with being themselves. Therefore, they’re most likely to suffer bullying. It’s just the way of the messed-up world we live in.

So, I want you to know that when people bully you, it is not because you’re doing something wrong. It just may be because you’re doing something right.

In other words, it’s not that there’s something wrong with you, it’s because there’s something right with you.

Most posers bully others because they’re angry that they must work so hard at being fake. And they’re jealous of anyone who doesn’t. Therefore, your self-esteem should soar when you realize this fundamental truth.

Posers hate and bully authentic people because they are complete opposites of them. And bullying cliques are the biggest posers of all!

This post was all about cliques and bullying so that you can feel much better about not being a member of a clique.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Unhealthy Ways to Deal with Bullying: 11 No-No’s to be Aware of

2. When You Start Seeing Your Worth, 17 Amazing Changes Happen.

3. Never Chase People Who Don’t See Your Worth

4. Things School Bullies Try to Hide: 13 Things They’re Ashamed Of

5. Enemies Are Better Than Frenemies: 5 Reasons Bullied Victims must Beware Fake Friends

signs of low self-esteem in women

Signs of Low Self-Esteem and How to Correct It

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‘Want to know the signs of low self-esteem? Here are all the indicators that your self-esteem is broken and the best ways to repair it.

signs of low self-esteem

Low self-esteem makes for a miserable life. People who have it bypass opportunities that would otherwise improve their lives. Moreover, it can put a strain on relationships.

If you’re a target of bullying who’s self-esteem has been broken by bullies, this is the last thing you need. So, your first step is to know the signs of low self-esteem.

Therefore, in this post you will learn all the signs of low-self-esteem and how to recognize it in yourself and in others. Also, you’ll learn how to correct it in yourself so that you can raise your self-esteem, gather the courage to stand up to bullies, and ultimately, live a more fulfilling life.

Once you learn all this pertinent information, you will be prompted to take the necessary steps to improve your self-esteem so that you can take back control over your life.

Signs of low self-esteem

Let’s jump right into it. What are the signs of low self-esteem? And what can you do to raise it?

1. Lack of boundaries

When you have no boundaries, you let others walk all over you. You allow others to treat you like dirt. You don’t say no or stop when someone abuses you.

However, if you don’t set boundaries, you’ll only attract more bullies and predators in your life. Why? Because predatory people will see you coming a mile away!

Therefore, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. You must understand that this is part of taking care of yourself.

Self-care isn’t selfish and you deserve well-treatment as much as the next person. Moreover, if people lash out at you for establishing boundaries, that’s your cue to ditch these losers and surround yourself with better people.

This will work wonders for your self-esteem

2. People-pleasing behavior

 You can’t please everyone all the time. Therefore, people-pleasing doesn’t score you any points in the end. It only leaves you depleted and exhausted.

Realize that you can’t please everyone all the time and there are time when you must make yourself a priority. So, don’t be afraid to say no when you can’t fulfill someone’s request right away.

Know that there’s nothing wrong with pursuing your own interests when you must. And if anyone has a problem with it, it’s a sign you need to get rid of them.

This is how you place value on yourself. You do it by weeding out the users and abusers who only show up when they need something and get pissed when you’re in the middle of something else and can’t help them right away.

3. Signs of Low Self-Esteem:

approval-seeking behavior

What does approval-seeking behavior look like? Here are a few examples:

You change or soften your position when it looks like someone isn’t happy with where you stand. Or, you might give insincere compliments all for the sake of being liked.

Also, you may pretend to agree with someone when you really don’t. These are among the behaviors of approval-seeking and most people see right through it.

Therefore, be true to who you are. Stop pretending to be something you aren’t. People respect those who are authentic and have no time for someone who’s fake.

When you stop seeking approval, you’ll be amazed at what it does for your self-esteem!

4. Shyness/withdrawal

In other words, you avoid social situations because you’re afraid of rejection.

However, if you don’t take risks and put yourself out there, you’ll miss out on possible friendships and rewarding relationships. Here’s another thing to consider.

The best way to get rid of shyness is to take the focus off you and focus on the positives you can bring to others. This is what worked for me and it’ll work for you too.

5. Signs of Low Self-Esteem:

Fear of conflict

When you fear conflict, you go out of your way to avoid debates and disagreements. This is a close sister to seeking approval and people-pleasing because you pretend to agree when you really disagree.

For instance, you voice your opinion and others look like they disapprove. you notice their discomfort and suddenly change your opinion to line up with theirs.

You only do this to avoid any possible conflict you might have with them. However, if you don’t stay true to yourself, people will notice and they won’t respect you.

You must continue to be yourself even if others don’t like it. This is how you build your self-esteem.

6. Fear of failure

Fear of failure makes for an unsuccessful life. Understand that everyone fails at some point. However, those who keep trying eventually succeed. And they succeed because they keep trying no matter how many times they crash and burn.

Therefore, don’t be afraid to try. Why? Because if you don’t try, you surely won’t reach success. And think about this. You have a much higher chance of hitting your goals if you keep trying. But if you don’t try, you’ll have no chance whatsoever!

7. Signs of Low Self-Esteem:

Negative self-talk

Thinking things like, “I’m a loser,” or “I’ll never make it,” is negative self-talk. Therefore, if you continue with this inner dialogue, you’ll only motivate yourself to give up easily. Even worse, your self-esteem will sink even lower.

Instead, treat yourself as you would your best friend. Practice positive inner talk. This is how you turn negative thoughts to positive ones.

This may feel awkward at first because you aren’t used to thinking this way.

However, if you practice every day, it will feel less and less weird until it becomes like second nature. Try it! You’ll be surprise at how it raises your self-esteem!

8. Self-Depreciating jokes

You wouldn’t want anyone else to degrade you with jokes. So, why do it to yourself. Again, treat yourself like you would a best friend and watch your self-esteem improve dramatically!

9. Downplaying accomplishments

Any time you minimize your accomplishments and successes, it means that you don’t feel you deserve recognition and praise for them.

Therefore, be proud of your successes and don’t apologize for them. Realize that you aren’t being arrogant when you take pride in the things you’ve done.

When you allow yourself to bask in some of your accomplishments, you raise your self-esteem.

10. Signs of Low Self-Esteem:

Avoiding Eye Contact

Avoiding eye contact conveys fear and bullies can see this from a mile away! As a result, you become a target to those who wish to take advantage of you.

Therefore, practice good eye contact until it becomes nature. This will immensely improve your self-esteem.

11. Poor Posture

Slouching only shows the people around you that you don’t like yourself very much. And, trust me, they will treat you accordingly.

Therefore, learn to stand up straight with your head up and shoulders back. This is called confident body language and it’ll boost your self-esteem like magic!

12. downcast eyes

Looking down is another indicator of low self-esteem. When you look down all the time, it means that you’re afraid to look others in the eye.

Therefore, you’ll draw bullies and abusers to you instead of healthy, quality people who would otherwise be good friends and associates.

Therefore, never look down. Always look straight ahead and walk with purpose. These are other ways you can display confident body language and raise self-esteem.

13. Signs of Low Self-Esteem:

Toxic shame

When you feel toxic shame, you feel worthless. As a result, this can cause feelings of self-loathing and it will only cause you to behave in ways that signal that.

Therefore, if you haven’t done anything to deliberately harm anyone, what are you ashamed of? Take steps to find out where the shame comes from and take steps to get rid of it.

If you’re ashamed of the way you look, change the things you can change and accept the things about yourself that you can’t. It won’t be easy.

However, if you learn to embrace your imperfections, your self-esteem will soar!

14. self-doubt

Self-doubt comes from bullying and abuse. It comes from others who teach you that you can’t make choices on your own without screwing up.

However, realize that those people probably told you these things just to keep you down and steal your power. Once you realize their true motivations, you’ll be more compelled to trust your instincts, your decisions, and yourself.

Moreover, when you begin trusting yourself fully, your self-esteem will improve tremendously!

15. Self-comparison

There are reasons why well-meaning people tell you to never compare yourself to others. It’s because it kills your self-esteem.

Realize that we’re all different and that different people are good at different things. In other words, we all have different talents and gifts.

Therefore, instead of focusing on what they can do better than you, focus on the things YOU are best at! Then practice your talents and show them off.

I guarantee you that your self-esteem will thank you for it!

16. Signs of Low Self-Esteem:

Trust issues

Whether your trust issues is with your partner or with people in general, it’s not a good sign. In order to have a social life, you must learn to trust other people.

In other words, you must take risks. Realize that encountering a few assholes is a part of life and you should expect it. However, don’t let them cause you to sink into paranoia.

Instead, deal with the bullies and assholes accordingly. Stand up to them and tell them to piss off. Then keep doing your thing!

This is how you keep your self-esteem from tanking.

17. Difficulty accepting compliments

Any time someone gives you a genuine compliment. Tell them thank you. Real compliments are something to be grateful for and they feel good.

However, when you have low self-esteem, you have a hard time taking compliments because you don’t think that you deserve them. Moreover, you may feel that the person paying you that compliment may have ulterior motives.

However, think about this. Most people won’t pay you a compliment unless they feel you’ve earned it. Therefore, accept it with grace, smile, and say thank you.

Then let it repair your self-esteem. I promise you. If you start being grateful for the compliments people give you, you’re likely to get more of them, which will give your self-esteem a huge boost!

This post was all about the signs of low self-esteem so that you can recognize them in yourself and make the necessary change to boost it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem: 7 Insanely Easy Ways

2. Raising Self-Esteem: 5 Easy Mind Hacks that Help

3. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

4. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

5. Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some

instigation meaning

Instigation: 3 Ways Bullies Sow Discord Between You and Others

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‘Want to know about instigation and how bullies manage to get you into altercations with other people? Here are the slick ways they do it and how you can respond with strength.

instigation

If there’s one thing bullies are good at, it’s sowing discord between you and others to cause trouble and make it hard for you to make friends and get along with others. Moreover, they do it so stealthily that others don’t notice them doing it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the sneaky ways bullies use instigation to get others pissed at you and how you can subtly call it out and respond to it with power.

Once you learn all this crucial information, you will better protect yourself against their wily tricks. Moreover, you’ll save yourself many broken friendships and social hassles.

Instigation

This type of baiting is indirect and extremely cowardly. In other words, these types of bullies don’t have the guts to be direct or the stomach to get their hands dirty. Or, they just don’t care what they do or if others notice because they have ways of insulating themselves from any responsibility.

Therefore, they do their bullying by instigating a conflict between you and another individual. They then stand back, at a safe distance, and watch from afar.

As they watch, they enjoy seeing you get humiliated by someone else.

Moreover, the individual these bullies pit against you probably won’t be the type of person who bullies anyone. In fact, they’ll likely be someone who doesn’t even have a history of conflicts with you.

The person they pit against you will most likely be a stranger, an acquaintance, friend, teacher, or supervisor. Understand that your bullies will do this to divide and conquer.

Also, they do it to break up your friendships, put you on everyone else’s bad side, and ultimately alienate you from everyone.

Baiting

Divide and Conquer

Here’s a list of several reasons bullies bait you using instigation:

  • To create a situation where they can gleefully watch as someone else reams you out.
  • For the purpose of turning others against you.
  • To create drama and entertainment
  • They want to parade you in front of an audience
  • To distract attention from their own evil deeds. In other words, if people are too busy fighting each other and others are too busy watching and getting their kicks, they’re too occupied to pay attention to what your bullies are doing.
  • To isolate you by making you look like the bad guy. The more people the bullies can turn against you, the worse you look, and the less power you have.

Often, when you’re a target of bullying by instigation, the person or people your bullies have pitted against you will start their sentences off as:

  • “Hey! I heard you’re trying to get with my boyfriend!”
  • “Somebody told me that you did…”
  • “I heard you told so-and-so such and such!”
  • “Somebody told me you’re talking smack about me behind me back! How about having the guts to say it to my face!”

Did you notice the first two to three words in each of the bulleted sentences?

Here are your First Clues of baiting by instigation

If you’re a target of bullying and someone has instigated a conflict between you and someone you don’t usually have trouble with, the first words out of your accuser’s mouth will be,

  • “I heard…”,
  • “Somebody told me…”
  • “It’s going around that…”
    or
  • “It was brought to my attention…”

Those first few little words are your first clues of bullying by instigation, and that one or more of your bullies is trying to pit these people against you.

The Correct Way to Respond

Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying and you’re ever in a situation like this, here are a few comebacks you can’t make to the accuser:

Laugh at the accuser and say one of these,

“Really? You ‘heard,’? You’re so gullible you’ll believe anything, won’t you?”
“Wow! And you believed that? Boy, are you a moron!”
“Gee, you’ll fall for anything, won’t you!”

Challenge your accuser’s intelligence, then walk away laughing. Your accuser will be stunned, and your bullies, who are surely watching from afar, will be sorely disappointed.

How I wish I were this quick in school. However, as an adult, I was better able to defuse it by the above counter statements.

Always imply that your accuser is a fool for believing the lies, and I guarantee that the person will back down. Moreover, the bullies will think twice about trying to sow discord a second time.

It’s what worked for me.

There are many ways in which bullies instigate and bait others to participate in the bullying unwillingly.

Here are a few examples of instigation baiting strategies:

The Secret Admirer Bait

Your bullies will use this to bait someone to insult and humiliate you. And they’ll usually do it when there’s a big crowd of people around to see it.

Here’s how it goes:

Your bullies and a few classmates or coworkers will see you either in the halls on the parking lot where large crowds of people may gather in between classes or during break. You’ll be nearby and within earshot.

If you happen to be a female, the bullies will point to a nearby male and say,

“Hey, (your name)! John said he was madly in love with you!”
John will then get on the defensive and say,
“Oh, hell, no! I don’t like that ugly thing!” or, “That whore? No freakin’ way!”

Therefore, by doing this, your bullies slyly bait John into a knee-jerk reaction that includes insulting and humiliating you. They then achieve gratification by seeing John diss and humiliate you. And the icing on the cake is that he did it loudly, in front of an audience.

The secret admirer bait is mostly used in middle and high school. However, immature adults also use it against victims at work.

Instigation:

The Invitation bait

In this situation, the bullies will, all of a sudden and out of nowhere, become chummy with you. They’ll pretend to have a change of heart. Therefore, you must understand that they do this to bring down your defenses and win your trust.

Once they’ve won your trust, the bullies will invite you to a birthday party, cookout, sleepover, or kegger. And, once they lure you there, they will then either set you up for a physical attack, or for humiliation.

Furthermore, they may even encourage you to drink alcohol or do drugs. Then, once they get you drunk or high, they may manipulate you into some compromising situations. Both school-aged and adult bullies use this little tactic.

Knowledge is power

Here are the signs you need to look for.

1. Understand that no one ever becomes true friends overnight. Therefore, if someone who has bullied you suddenly starts to buddy up to you, and it seems to have come out of nowhere, you must see it for what it is.  A red flag!

Moreover, you should steer clear! You can be sure that this creep is up to no good.

2. Also, if bullies are trying to bait you into anything, they will lay the flattery on thick! They’ll overdo the pleasantries. Moreover, it will sound so sickeningly sweet, you’ll want to grab a barf bag.

You’ll know it’s fake if you’re paying attention.

Instigation:

Here’s how you shut these creeps down.

However, be forewarned. Bullies are very convincing. Therefore, if you’re young and still in school, you’re likely to overlook the yuck if you aren’t careful.

So don’t fall for it! Don’t go anywhere with those people. Because once you’re alone with them, you’re at their mercy!

3. The secret admirer bait is a little harder to avoid. Why? Because the bullies aren’t baiting you. They’re baiting someone else to insult you.

Therefore, If you’re a victim of school or workplace bullying and your bullies use the secret admirer bait. They’re likely to trick someone into humiliating you.

If this happens, deal out a good burn for the dummy who allowed themselves to be used by your bullies.

For example, you can say:

“No chance. I could never be that desperate, and you could never be that lucky.”

Then keep walking.

Your witty comeback will sting the poor sucker who took the bully’s bait and tried to insult you. But hey! Better them than you. Right?

It’s always best to have a few good burns lined up and filed away, just in case someone decides to get cute. So, be prepared. Always find a good way to defend yourself.

This post was all about instigation and how bullies use it as a weapon against you. Also, it’s about what to look for and how you can confidently respond to anything your bullies throw at you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why is My Bully Being Nice to Me? Here are 5 Reasons to Beware!

2. What Constitutes Bullying and What Doesn’t

3. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

4. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

5. How to Disarm a Bully: 13 Clever Comebacks that Work Wonders

6. How to Spot a Bully: 13 Must-Know Body-Language Examples

Adult Survivors of School Bullying: 19 Things They Do Differently

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‘Want to know how adult survivors of school bullying differ from other adults? Here you’ll find way just how differently they handle people and what they do that most others don’t.

adult survivors of school bullying

Targets of school bullying often learn tough lessons- lessons that they carry into adulthood. Bullying shapes their personalities, and the ways they do things once they leave school and move away from their tormentors.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how adult survivors of school bullying differ from other adults. Moreover, you will learn their attitudes and how they handle social situations.

Once you learn all about these differences, you will be able to tell if you fall into this category and why you should be proud that you overcame and come away from it stronger than ever.

This post is all about adult survivors of school bullying and how they differ from adults who weren’t bullied as kids.

Adult Survivors of School Bullying

School bullying can teach you some hard life-lessons, things you carry into adulthood. School bullying changes you. It changes the ways you do things. Also, it changes your attitude and the way you handle people.

So, if you were bullied in school as a kid, how do you differ from other adults?

1. You Watch others Closely.

Your experiences with bullies during school sharpened your emotional and social intelligence. Because you learned very early on how evil people can be, you know how to watch others without looking like you’re watching them.

You notice body language, facial expressions, micro-expressions, tonality, delivery, and demeanor. Your people-sense wasn’t fully developed during school years. Therefore, back then, you often let those in your life who were only there to do harm you.

Moreover, you paid dearly for it. Therefore, as an adult, you watch closely and avoid such people.

2. You no longer fear saying “no” and will sometimes say it simply because You can!

When you were a schoolkid, bullies violated your boundaries to such an extent that they silenced you. As a result, no one allowed you to protest when something didn’t feel right.

People forced you to take a lot of abuse. However, now that you’re an adult, you get to decide what you will and will not tolerate. Moreover, you exercise that freedom and autonomy every chance you get!

Why? Because saying no and setting boundaries gives you a feeling of empowerment.

3. Adult Survivors of School Bullying:

You’re a no-nonsense adult.

You learned, early on, the games people play. Therefore, manipulators can’t dupe you so easily. You live by the old, “fool me once…” saying and hold it close to your heart.

4. You Solidly refuse to take any crap from anyone.

And this goes no matter the consequences you face. You took enough crap from classmates in school. And you took even more of it from a few rotten apples, who called themselves school staff.

 As an adult, you’re even more determined not to let others violate your boundaries.

5. You don’t give people many chances.

To you, first impressions are important, so anyone you meet had better make it count. These are your mottoes.

  • One red flag, I’m gone!
  • One bad vibe, goodbye!
  • Any attempts to bullshit, see ya!

In the past, you were too forgiving of others. Therefore, others took you for granted and mistook your kindness for weakness. They then exploited your kindness. Moreover, they did it much to your humiliation.

Therefore, you refuse ever again subject yourself to such abuse.

6. Adult Survivors of School Bullying:

You Work Your ass off!

Why? Because you’re tenacious when it comes to getting what you want. Therefore, you’ll stop at almost nothing to reach success.

You had enough of what you didn’t want while in school. Others called you a failure many times back then. This lit a fire under you. In other words, it made you that much more determined to succeed at everything you set out to do.

In fact, you may do it for no other reason than to show the haters and naysayers that you can! Show them up and shut them up is another motto you hold.

7. You like having control over You own life.

 Moreover, you will do anything to keep that control.

You had enough of others taking control of your life long ago. Therefore, you will shut down the first jack-weed who tries to take away your personal power.

8. You can spot a bully a mile away.

… in the dark! Yes! You’re that good! For years, you dealt with bullies in school on a daily basis. Therefore, you know the signs by heart.

This makes you nearly expert, at pointing out the troublemakers.

9. You either avoid bullies like the plague or take extreme pleasure in putting them in their places.

You’ve grown to looove standing up to bullies and they will call them out every chance you get. Moreover, you love to make bullies feel like the losers they are.

Understand that you do this, remembering all the times you didn’t or couldn’t defend yourself in school.

10. Adult Survivors of School Bullying:

You have a thick skin that has become difficult for others outside your circle, to penetrate.

That’s your power. You love being unpredictable and keeping others on their toes. In other words, you love making them try and figure you out  because it’s fun.

11. You can’t stand to watch others being made fun of and will rush to their defense.

You’re not afraid to get nose to nose with a bully if you must. Moreover, you defend others from bullies not only to help them. Subconsciously, you do it to make up for all the times you felt helpless.

This compensates them for all the times you didn’t or couldn’t defend yourself against bullies in school.

12. You Have a nose for horseshit.

If someone tries to feed you a load of hogwash, you know it instantly and instinctively. Moreover, you see it as an insult to your intelligence and become angry.

Why? Because you know that the liar thinks you’re too foolish to figure them out. Therefore, you won’t hesitate to call the creep out!

13. You can More easily pick up on the emotions of others.

You cannot stand the thought of causing emotional or physical harm to another person. However, only if that person isn’t trying to harm you first.

14. Adult Survivors of School Bullying:

You place extra value on your families and friends.

You take extreme care not to take those you love for granted. Why? Because you know what it’s like to be completely alone and have no friends at all.

Therefore, you cherish your family and friends and the time you spend with them.

15. You are, in some ways, selfish.

You put a lot of value on yourself and your wants, needs, and interests. Why? Because others didn’t value you as a kid during school.

Therefore, you make it a point to put yourself first in almost everything. The only people you put ahead of you are your children, spouse, and parents.

16. Words don’t convince You. Only actions and patterns do.

Back in the day, others duped you. You heard a mountain of empty promises and cheap words and paid dearly for believing them.

Therefore, you’ll be damned if you ever repeat that mistake.

17. You live by your gut instincts.

In other words, you trust your gut because you paid a heavy price for ignoring it. Therefore, you now have a sixth sense.

You’re excellent at picking up vibes (especially bad ones) and reading people and their intentions. If something or someone doesn’t feel right, you won’t hesitate to either walk away or tell the suspicious person to take a long walk off a short pier.

18. Adult Survivors of School Bullying:

If anyone tells you that you Can’t, you’ll do it anyway.

Moreover, you’ll do it just to show them that you can. On the other hand, if someone tells you not to do something and you’ll do it and take pictures.

You only see it as a challenge. Therefore, you’ll do just the opposite of what the other person says, just to show them up.

For example, you may work toward a goal and have naysayers who try to discourage you. Instead of listening to them, you only double down. You then reach your goal and end up living an enriching life!

19. You don’t send your kids to the same school you were bullied in.

HELL NO!

In fact, hell will freeze before you allow your children to grace the halls of the school.
What parent worth their own salt would subject their children to that kind of learning environment if they could help it?

You know that bullies tend to take jobs that give them authority (Teaching, Law Enforcement, Corrections Officer, Supervisor, etc.). Moreover, you know that many of your former bullies will probably be teachers by the time your babies reach school age. You also know that teaching is the second-highest profession for workplace bullying.

Also, you know the mentality of bullies. If they hated you first, they will hate your children even more.

In other words, if they targeted you, it’s a safe bet that they’ll would target your babies once the bullies find out that you’re the parent.

Therefore, you’ll send your children to another school or you’ll home-school them.

This post was all about adult survivors of school bullying and the things they do differently so that you can find out if you see yourself in a few or all of these characteristics.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The Bullied Brain: 7 Ways Bullying Effects Mental Health

2. Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

3. Bullying and Banter: 9 Differences You Must Know

4. The Effects of Bullying: 17 Negative Results on Victims

5. What Constitutes Bullying and What Doesn’t

6. The 4 Stages of Bullying

guilt by association fallacy psychology

Guilt by Association Fallacy: How It Brings About Bullying

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‘Want to know about guilt by association fallacy and how it relates to bullying? Here, we explain what it is and how it sets many people up for bullying.

guilt by association fallacy

Guilt by association fallacy traps many innocent people in a quagmire of bullying and abuse. These victims may have had a family member or close friend who were bullied and now, others wish to abuse their loved ones too.

Moreover, maybe the associate committed a crime in the past and people treat innocent family members and friends like they were the ones who made the transgression.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about guilt by association fallacy and how it relates to bullying and abuse.

Once you learn all about this social issue, you will be able to call it out if it happens to you. Moreover, you’ll also recognize it if you see it happen to someone else.

What is guilt by association fallacy?

It is a phenomenon that happens when people unfairly judge a person based on their relationship or association with a demonized individual or group rather than their own behavior. Here’s how it works.

Understand that to achieve their goals to isolate the target, bullies will threaten and punish anyone they see having anything to do with the target.

Nobody wants to be ostracized. Nothing wrong with that. However, when bullies slander you and friends turn against you so easily, it speaks volumes about the kinds of people they (your friends) are.

And sadly, very few people have the sack to stand up to bullies. It stinks, but it’s the gospel truth.

Most people will do anything- and I mean anything to keep from being socially isolated. Most will even turn their backs on their closest friends.

Ask Yourself these questions:

However, understand this. Anybody who claims to be your friend but doesn’t have your back is not your friend! And when it comes to your bullies, you must ask yourself these questions:

  • Who are they (the bullies and anyone else) to set standards for you?
  • Who are they to tell you what standards you should live up to?
  • Who are they to tell you to change?
  • Who are they to tell you how to dress, how to act, and how to live?
  • What authority do they have to make any rules that you should follow?
  • Who died and made them the authority over you?
  • What authority do they have to tell everyone else who to associate with and who not to?

Therefore, if you’re a victim of bullying whom everyone has abandoned because the bullies have influenced them to do so, you must also ask yourself this question:

  • Would I want to be friends or associate with a bunch of pathetic wimps who are so weak and spineless? 
  • Why should I have anything to do with people who’ll bow down to pacify a bunch of bullies?
  • Do I even want to associate with anyone who’s too chicken to stand behind me?

Guilt by Association Fallacy:

Anyone who doesn’t stand with you and turns on you so quickly never had any sack, to begin with.

They were never even worth knowing. Because they only proved to you that they’re worthless and can never be trusted. Therefore, you don’t want a bunch of wimps for friends.

I know it hurts when someone you thought so highly of suddenly throws you under the bus!Believe me, I’ve been there. Betrayal by those you thought were friends is the most painful when others target you for bullying.

However, as painful as it is, you need to realize that not everyone is worth your time. Not everyone deserves your friendship.

Therefore, when people turn against you, understand that it’s only the trash taking itself out!

What you want are strong and brave friends- friends with substance! You want pals with the cajones to have your back and tell the bullies to go take a long walk off a short pier!

Great friends are hard to find. Because the strong and true are few in this world.

Most people really are a bunch of bagless, weak-kneed wusses. Just as a girl must kiss many frogs to find a prince who’s worthy of her love, a target of bullying must weed through a bunch of wusses to find people who are worthy of their friendship.

Guilt by Association Fallacy:

You must raise your standards and expectations.

You must be very selective of who you allow in your life. Selectiveness is a great thing because it shows that you value yourself. Moreover, it shows that you won’t settle for anything less than what you want!

In other words, you must put a proverbial price tag on yourself and make sure it isn’t too low! Only then will people respect you.

For others to value you, you must first value yourself! And that means loving yourself enough to walk away from people who are worthless to you (i.e., the fake friends who betray you).

Examples of Guilt by Association Fallacy:

I hear stories all the time from people who have a ne’er do well brother. Or, maybe they have an uncle who’s the town drunk, or a sister who’s notorious for being promiscuous.

However, whether your dad did a stint in prison, or your mom is perceived by others to be the town nut-job, know that these are things you have no control over. Therefore, those uncontrollable things are not your responsibility.

Know that you aren’t defined by the lousy choices or unfortunate circumstances of a few friends or relatives.

Yes, I know that the judgement people heap on top of you hurts and hurts terribly. However, I want you to know that you’re an innocent person in all of it. You’re an individual and you shouldn’t feel ashamed of anything because you’ve done nothing wrong.

Realize that humans have a bad habit of lumping people into categories, whether justly or unjustly. Moreover, they’re wrong for painting you with a negative brush based on bad choices a few of your family members made.

What if you’re being bullied based on the behavior of someone close to you?

Understand that people also do this with different races and ethnic groups as well. It seems that many automatically think that all Blacks are thugs, all Whites are racist, all Native Americans are savages, all Hispanics are illegals and so forth.

Yes, I’ve heard all the above statements throughout high school, in a few workplaces, even in the news media and it’s all garbage! We should all know that none of it is true.

There are some of the greatest, loving, and most tenderhearted people in every race. In other words, there are many who don’t live up to the ignorant stereotypes that society likes to hoist upon them.

Guilt by Association Fallacy:

Do these people really know you?

Therefore, you must know that anyone who puts you in a category with a few bad apples, or people who’ve simply made bad choices, doesn’t know the individual you.

They do not know your heart nor your inner reality. And they don’t know what you think and feel.

Moreover, nobody can possibly know these things but you and God. And if they claim they do know, they’re only playing God by claiming to know the unknowable.

Realize that when people perceive you as someone you aren’t, their thoughts and opinions aren’t worthy of your consideration. Therefore, you shouldn’t place any value to them.

In fact, you should kick these people to the curb because they aren’t worth your time nor energy. You deserve people in your life who get you.

In other words, you deserve those who love you for you and the good you bring to this world. It’s time to ditch the weak bitches and wait for better people to find you.

Ditch the weak losers and be willing to be alone until quality people find you.

Mind you, this won’t be easy and it might even get lonely at times. However, if you’re going to be lonely, have a damn good reason for it. There’s nothing worse than hanging with fake friends who secretly wish you’d go away.

Why? Because when you’re around them, you’re just as lonely whether you realize it or not. You might as well be by yourself.

Therefore, be willing to wait. Ditch the losers who make you feel less than and be willing to be alone until better quality people come along. Know that you deserve better and go after it!

And, while you’re at it, know that you are not the labels others stick to you.

This post was all about Guilt by Association Fallacy so that you can recognize it when it happens to you or someone else. Also, so you can see how it connect to bullying.

1. How Does Bullying Affect the Victim’s Friendships?

2. Social Bullying Examples: 7 Reasons Bullies Destroy Relationships 

3. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You

4. The Horns Effect: Bully-Induced Bias Against Victims of Bullying

5. Choose Your Friends Wisely: 9 Criteria to Judge by

Seeking Approval: 5 Must-Know Reasons It Worsens Bullying

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‘Want to know the reasons that seeking approval invites more bullying? Here are all the reasons you must stop this self-defeating behavior now.

seeking approval

Too many victims suffer bullying so frequently and for so long they begin to look for any crumb of validation they can find. They think that somehow, kissing up will win them friends and allies.

But it only ends up doing the opposite. It only gets them doubly ridiculed and bullied. Also, it attracts even more users and abusers into their lives.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the reasons that seeking approval only gets you the exact opposite of what you want and how to let go of it.

Once you learn this vital information and put it to practice, you will be amazed at the positive changes that come into your life.

This post is all about approval seeking, how and why it sabotages your social life, and what you can remedy it.

Seeking Approval

5 Things That Happen When you Seek Approval and 3 Ways to Turn It Around

1. You lose your freedom and autonomy to be yourself and to do what you want to do.

In other words, you give away your personal power and become a slave to the thoughts and opinions of others.

You unwittingly put yourself at the mercy and whims of someone else. Therefore, you give away your personal power.

2. You lose sight of your goals and aspirations and replace them with goals of being liked, approved of, and favored by others.

And the fact is, there’s no guarantee that you will be liked, approved of, or favored. Why? Because there’s no way you can control the thoughts, opinions, actions, or words of other people.

You must realize that you are the only person in the entire world that you can control. Therefore, this makes it that much more important that you keep your focus on you.

 Understand that you are your only guarantee. At the end of the day, all you have is you.

3. You stop being creative.

You only become a carbon copy of someone else, their style, and their way of thinking and doing things. When you do this, your creativity suffers. It’s much better to be original!

Think of it like a painting. No one wants a cheap knock off. They’d rather have the original because it’s much more valuable.

4. Seeking Approval:

You copy others.

When you copy others, you give up the ability to think for yourself. Instead of having opinions of your own, you conform to the opinions and beliefs that are most popular.

You say what others want to hear and do what others want you to do and how they want you to do it. In short, you allow yourself to be programmed and become a robot!

Understand that not everyone will like you or support you. And not everyone will want the best from you or for you. Some may, in fact, hate you and judge you harshly. Moreover, they may even derail you from your goals and sabotage your success.

Understand that when you seek validation and approval, you only look for permission from others. And it will leave you feeling controlled and imprisoned.

It’ll also erode your self-esteem. Each time you engage in approval-seeking behavior, you lose a piece of yourself until you completely forget who you are.

Remember the painting analogy. An original painting is more precious than a cheap, knock-off copy. No one wants a copy, they always want the original!

5. Instead of setting your own standards, you only conform to the standards of others (mainly bullies and abusers).

Understand that a bully’s standards are unachievable. Why? Because no matter what you do, who you are, where you’re from, or what you have; bullies will always- always move the goalposts.

In other words, they’ll change the rules, and find something else to use against you. Bullies will even weaponize your best qualities.

Therefore, you should always be yourself, no matter how difficult it may be. Don’t change for anyone. Realize that anytime you conform to someone else’s standards, you only lower your own.

Bullies will always find ways to target you.

Bullies will often make fun of the way you dress- even if you dress fashionably. Therefore understand that with bullies, it’s not about the way you dress. It’s not about your hair, makeup, hobbies, favorite music, family, or anything they make fun of. No!

Seeking approval:

Bullying is about power and control.

It’s about having the power to make you feel bad about yourself. Furthermore, it’s about taking away your confidence, your pride, your happiness, your health, peace of mind, everything that matters.

What if they make fun of your personality?

We all have quirks. Never change your personality. Continue to be yourself. Realize that anything you change to appease a bully today will be ridiculed tomorrow.

Again, bullies have a desire to control you to get that ego boost they’re seeking. So, understand that they get their kicks from making you jump through hoops to win their approval.

And you know what? You don’t need their approval.

Therefore, continue to be yourself and calmly blow the bullies off. Eventually, they’ll get bored and find another target.

Only you know what you like and don’t like. Only you can know what feels right to you and what’s best for you. So, don’t sell yourself short by living up to someone else’s expectations.

They don’t know you the way you do and you’re a separate person from them. Always remember that.

So, how do you turn it around?

1. You start by accepting and loving yourself.

This means embracing all parts of yourself- the good, the bad, and the ugly!

2. Stop Seeking Approval by Counting all the qualities of yourself that you’re proud of.

Everyone has great qualities. Find yours, and list them.

3. Ditch and Switch.

In other words, walk away from the negative people who make you feel bad about yourself. And don’t look back! Rid yourself of the haters, the naysayers, the whiners, complainers, and those with self-defeating attitudes.

Replace them with people who love you, who want nothing but your best. Seek people who lift you up and those you feel safe around.

Choose people who are happy and who take responsibility for their lives. Get rid of those who bellyache and blame others for their misfortunes.

Realize that once you do these things, you might get a lot of push-back at first. Many people get threatened and angry anytime you make positive changes in your life. Therefore, they may give you tons of grief for it.

But realize that people give you a hard time because they were benefiting from your approval-seeking behavior. And trust me! They don’t want to lose those benefits.

Also, understand that we live in a world full of copycats. In other words, most people only conform and seek approval themselves. So, it’s only natural that you get a ton of flack when you finally stop kissing ass.

Therefore, embrace the push-back and keep doing what’s right for you. To hell with what others think about it!

Only you know what’s right for you. No one else knows your inner reality but you. So, trust that and trust yourself.

I guarantee that you’ll be surprised at how it’ll change your life for the better. And you’ll only thank yourself for it later!

Life Begins When We Stop Seeking Approval

Interestingly, the people you seek approval from are mostly people who could care less about you. Even worse, you may seek approval from your bullies.

Therefore, understand that these people have absolutely zero respect for you. And to beg for their approval is counterproductive, not to mention, demeaning!

So, stop begging for validation from people who don’t deserve the time of day from you. Instead, ask yourself these questions.

  • If these people never gave a damn about me, then who are they that I should seek approval from?
  • Who are they that I must impress?
  • Are they really so important that I should pretend to be someone I’m not?
  • Who are they that I have to lie?
  • Who are they that I must expend so much of my effort and energy for?
  • Are these creeps people I should chase and crawl up behind?
  • Who are they that I should beg?

Never Give Anyone Value They Haven’t Earned

Notice those last two questions and the words “chase,” “crawl up behind,” and “beg.” They will immediately jump out at you and may even make you angry.

And you know what? They should. Remember that you’re seeking their approval.

Therefore, those three things are basically what you’re doing. Never seek approval from bullies, abusers, or anyone who neither respects you nor gives a crap about you.

Why? Because, when you do, you are, in a sense, giving them value they haven’t earned.

If, at any time, you must suppress parts yourself to gain acceptance from another person, you short change yourself.  Realize that bullies will never add value or benefit to your life.

Therefore, they haven’t earned the honor and privilege of being in your life. They don’t even deserve to be in your presence.

When you submit to and follow the standards of others for the sake of validation and acceptance, you only lower your own standards.

Stop Seeking Approval from Anyone Who Isn’t Worthy of you.

In other words, stop busting your butt to impress others because you don’t need validation from them. Their opinions need not apply.

If anyone ever tries to impose their rules and standards on you, especially if they aren’t an asset to your life, you have not only a right but an obligation to yourself to tell that person to go crawl back under the horse-apple they wormed and wiggled their way from beneath.

Stop giving these creeps things they have no business having – your power and your freedom! And stop handing them control over your life! These are things they have no right to.

Your personal power and freedom are yours and yours alone. And if you give away those precious commodities, your bullies will only exploit, use, and abuse them.

However, once you take them back, your life will only get better. Take it from me. I’m living proof.

Life begins when you stop caring about their opinions and begin living life on your terms. Try it. I guarantee that you’ll thank yourself later!

Don’t you know you deserve to be happy?

This post is all about seeking approval and why it only exacerbates bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Disadvantages of Being a People Pleaser: 7 Consequences of Putting Yourself Last

2. How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: 5 Powerful Steps

3. When You Start Seeing Your Worth, 17 Amazing Changes Happen.

4. Never Chase People Who Don’t See Your Worth

5. Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some

weaponizing mental health reddit

Weaponizing Mental Health: 7 Reasons Bullies Label You Mentally Ill

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‘Want to know why bullies are quick with weaponizing mental health? Here are all the reasons bullies use mental health to discredit you and damage your reputation.

weaponizing mental health

Using your mental health as a weapon is probably the first thing your bullies will do when you get fed up and begin standing up to them.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about weaponizing mental health and the reasons your bullies use it against you.

Once you learn this must-know information, you will be able to boldly and confidently call it out so that you can protect yourself against it.

This post is all about weaponizing mental health so that you’ll have the knowledge to protect yourself from bullies who use it against you.

Weaponizing mental health

Have you noticed that bullies usually pull the mental health card anytime their victims stop taking their crap? Moreover, have you ever wondered why? Are you one of those people bullies and others have unfairly painted as a mental case? Here are the reasons bullies do this.

1. The mental health label is the easiest and most effective label to stick to you.

Sadly, there’s a lot of stigma around mental health. Moreover, a label like this tends to have loads of staying power. Why? Because it’s the hardest to disprove. This goes double when the object of it is being bullied and mobbed.

Moreover, the “mentally unstable” label is worse than the label, “criminal.” In other words, criminals are treated better than those with mental illness because of the stigma behind it.

Therefore, the mental health label is the most damaging to your reputation.

2. Bullying, especially if it’s chronic, can make a person an emotional wreck.

…and rightfully so. Hence, another reason the mental health label is a clever label for bullies to pin to them.

Understand that the natural human response is to react and defend yourself when attacked. Therefore, people can easily mistake any form of self-defense for mental illness.

when bullies label you as unhinged, it doesn’t mean they actually think you are. In fact, they may know good and well that you aren’t mentally ill.

Remember that bullies are big cowards. Therefore, if they really and truly thought you were loco, they wouldn’t mess with you at all. Moreover, they wouldn’t come near you.

Weaponizing Mental Health:

Bullies abuse you, then use your reaction to their abuse to paint you as someone who’s unhinged.

Instead, they would do everything they could to stay out of your way and avoid poking the bear. They’d go out of their way to be on their best behavior around you. Why? Because they know that a person who’s not right upstairs could rip their heads off and poop down their necks.

In fact, that person could go postal and wipe them all out, then go home and eat a sandwich.
If a person with any common sense knows someone who is factually and utterly batshit nuts, their first instinct is to walk lightly around them.  In other words, they do their due diligence to keep from setting that person off!

Therefore, the mental health label is used to make the person look bad. Again, anyone who’s bullied is likely to be emotional. And who wouldn’t be if they suffered constant bullying?

So, the victim’s emotional reaction to the abuse just makes it easier for bullies to stick that label on them. Put another way, the bullies use the victim’s emotional reaction to their abuse as confirmation that the person really is a nutcase. And sadly, it sticks.

3. To discredit you.

Your bullies are smarter then you think. They know that eventually, you’re likely to get fed up with their crap and either report them or stand up to them. Moreover, you just might expose them and cause them to lose face.

Therefore, your bullies will claim you’re a mental case. And why not? If everyone thinks you’re stark raving mad, who’s going to take you seriously when you report the bullying?

In other words, if you have a reputation of being a nut-ball, the less likely anyone will believe you when you go to them for help.

4. Weaponizing Mental Health:

To Silence and subdue you.

The mental health label does two things. First, it makes you afraid to stand up to your bullies or speak out about their abuse. Secondly, it keeps their reputations spotless why trashing yours

Bullies aren’t clueless. They know that if people think you’re bananas, they won’t believe you. Moreover, they figure that you may make a few attempts to report them, only to be rebuffed. Once enough people either ignore or rebuff you, you’ll eventually grown too afraid to open your mouth.

Therefore, they use the mental health label to shut you up and keep you under control.

Also, you’ll also be too afraid to fight back. Why? Because, if you do, you know that the bullies will only use the label to reverse roles and play victim.

Then, others will only assume that you went postal and either hurt those poor, innocent bullies, or you just threw a temper tantrum and began shouting and cursing people out for no reason. All because you’re just “bonkers.”

5. A mental imbalance is the most difficult to disprove.

In other words, your bullies can never prove you’re mentally unstable. However, there’s no way that you can prove for certain that you aren’t.

Therefore, this is why bullies use this label the most. Also, it’s the most common form of gaslighting. “Mentally imbalanced” can be used as a last resort when bullies run out of options and can’t pin anything else on you.

Think about it. They can’t as easily label you a whore if you haven’t slept around. Just the same, they can’t as easily label you a criminal if you don’t have a police record to prove it. And they can’t easily label you a thief if you never took anything that wasn’t yours.

Whereas, you can’t as easily disprove a mental instability.

People have a strong tendency to see the worst in others. Therefore, the burden of proof lies with you.

Again, this kind of label is easiest to pin on you. It shouldn’t be this easy. But it is.

6. Weaponizing Mental Health:

Bullies use the mental health label as a last option

In other words, when bullies have nothing on you, they’ll often label you as mentally imbalanced. Again, they may not be able to prove it, but you can’t disprove it either.

7. To make you doubt your own sanity.

If bullies can cause you to wonder if you really are coming unglued, the more likely others are to believe you are.

Therefore, don’t you doubt your mental abilities for a second!

Bullies Don’t Think You’re Mentally imbalanced. They Think you’re weak.

In fact, your bullies most likely know that you’re just as sane as the next person. They also know that you aren’t strong enough to keep them away.

However, here’s another things that bullies also know.

Weakness and helplessness have a certain allure and appeal. And this allure and appeal raises the chances of others coming to your aid. Therefore, your bullies are afraid that others just might feel compelled to come to your aid.

Realize that helplessness sparks a natural tendency to want to take care of the helpless person. On the other hand, people are less likely to help the person they deem loony.

Bullies instinctively know this. Therefore, they label you mentally unstable to strip you of the allure and appeal of weakness and helplessness.

Weaponizing Mental Health:

There’s a method behind the label of mental instability

Again, in labeling you a nutcase and making it stick, bullies are better able to avoid accountability. Moreover, if they can dodge responsibility, then they get to continue abusing you freely and with impunity.

Therefore, if you’re aware of the motives behind that label, the better you’ll be able to catch it and counter your bullies with it.

Bullies will often bait you into looking unhinged.

For example, your bullies provoke you into a reaction. Next, others walk in on you as you’re telling your bullies where to stick it. In other words, these so-called witnesses only catch the tail end of the confrontation.

And sadly, they draw the wrong conclusions. Therefore, if this happens to you, understand that this is what your bullies were counting on!!!

Bullies do this all the time to discredit their targets and cover their behinds when they know they’re wrong! Why? Because, if the bully can make you look loony, then who’s going to believe you when you report their abuse?

Moreover, who’ll take you seriously the next time you let the bully have it? They’ll only sigh and think, “Uh-oh! There she goes again! She’s having another mental episode! That person has gone completely batsh**!”

Weaponizing Mental Health:

How to Counter the Mental Health Label

The first and most important way to counter this form of gaslighting is not to fall for it! Simply look them in the eye, and tell them,
“You’re wrong, and you know you’re wrong! I’m not going to debate this any further with you!”

Then walk away and leave the bully standing there slack-jawed.

If the bully follows you and asks, “What’s your problem?” don’t explain it to them. They’re not five years old, they already know, and you don’t owe them any more than what’s necessary. The trick is to say as little as possible.

Or, you can simply tell them, “You know what my problem is!”

The bully may continue to follow you and ask, “What did I do to you?” You can then say, “You know what you did! Now get bent!”

Don’t beat around the bush. Get to the point and say it like you mean it. Be firm but don’t yell (yelling makes you look like a basket case).

The bully may not change their ways and their attitude toward you. But I promise! You’ll feel so much better about yourself knowing that you put your foot down and looked less “unstable” to any bystanders!

‘Funny How Bullies Magically Become Board-Certified Shrinks.

Moreover, they can do it overnight, without reading a single word out of a psychology textbook. As we all know, bullies are legends (or Doctors of Psychology) in their own minds and they only make themselves look dimwitted when they “diagnose” anyone they cannot manipulate.

Weaponizing Mental health and the use of Pop-Psych.

This little phenomenon is called “pop-psych,” and, in all it’s entitlement (and embarrassment), empowers bullies to conduct, “remote analyses” while holding little to zero education in the field of Psychology.

Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying whom bullies have diagnosed, you can counter these accusations of insanity by reading a basic psychology 101 textbook, then asking your bullies questions that challenge the narrative.

Let’s use the scenario below as an example:

Jack: “Don’t hang out with Jill. She’s nuts.”

Kelly: “Nuts? That sounds like a pretty serious accusation. Nuts in what way?”

Jack: “Uh…I don’t know. Like schizo or something.”

Kelly: There are five categories of schizophrenia, which one do you think she falls into?”

Jack: “Uhhhhh…paranoia?”

Kelly: “I’ll have you know that paranoia is a common trait in many psychopathologies.”

Jack: “Uhhhh. I dunno. She’s talking about people talking about her and thinking they’re after her or something- that’s nuts.”

Kelly: “Jack, have you ever considered that possibility that Jill may be a target of bullying?”

Jack: “Oh, no! We’re not allowed to talk about that.”

Kelly: (Rolls her eyes and scoffs at Jack, then walks away.)

When bullies use pop-psychology, they do it out of ignorance and entitlement. They use mental health and mental illness as a weapon and end up making themselves look ignorant.

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The more we understand the ins, outs, and reasons behind the use of this label, the better we can defend against it.

Therefore, calmly call this out and keep your wits about you. Also, continue showing your bullies up through your calm behavior.

It may take a while, but eventually, the label does get old and wear itself out. And when that happens, it will lose it’s effect.

This post was all about Weaponizing mental health so that you can know why bullies do it and what it’s designed to do.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Smear Campaigns: 4 Tactics Bullies Use to Sully Your Reputation

2. Baiting: 5 Ways Bullies Bait You Into a Reaction

3. The Bullied Brain: 7 Ways Bullying Effects Mental Health

4. Unhealthy Ways to Deal with Bullying: 11 No-No’s to be Aware of

5. Signs Someone is Gaslighting You: The 13 Must-Know Symptoms

How to Make Friends When You Have None at School or at Work

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If bullies have destroyed your reputation, ‘want to know how to make friends when you have none? Here are all the ways to do so that I and many others swear by.

how to make friends when you have none

To feel better about themselves and keep from feeling powerless, too many targets of bullying resort to bullying others who are even more vulnerable than them. And it’s not right.

In many cases, targets of bullying who bully, or “bully-victims” bully not because they want to. They bully because they feel like they have no choice.

In bullying, bullies unwittingly teach their targets that to degrade and disparage another person is what it takes to stay on top or off the bottom! And let’s face it, nobody wants to be on the bottom.

One of the uglier characteristics of humans is that everyone wants to be better than somebody! The attitude is that if you’re not above somebody, anybody, then who are you better than?

The sad reality is that people equate not being better than someone, even if it’s only one person, with being powerless. It shouldn’t be that way, but it is.

But just the same, they do it because they don’t believe there’s any other way to stay out of the basement and boost their self-esteem.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to make friends when you have none. This goes for those who’ve been bullied and defamed so badly that what friends they once had turned against them.

Once you learn all about these tips and tricks, you will begin to create a good social life. Also, you’ll know what it takes to be a friend, not only make a friend.

This post is all about how to make friends when you have none so that you can be a good friend to others and not only enrich your life, but the lives of others.

How to make friends when you have none

What if I told you that there was a better way to create a good social life? What if I told you that you could feel better about yourself without bullying other targets to make yourself feel better.

Also, what if I told you that there were better ways of eliminating the low self-esteem that your bullies have instilled in you for so long?

How you do it is to be a friend.

In other words, instead of targeting more vulnerable people, how about connecting with and befriending them? Because they get bullied just like you. They may get bullied worse than you. You never know.

And let’s face it. No one person is an island. There’s no way you can have even a little bit of power by yourself.

We’d like to think that we can survive and do anything in this world just fine by ourselves. Moreover, we’d also like to think that we don’t have to depend on anyone, but that’s not reality.

The reality is that power means relationships. And we all need people as loved ones, friends, and allies.

Therefore, make friends with those who are weaker than you! Stick up for those people and be their buddy instead of their bully. Make them feel good about themselves and encourage them to stick up for themselves and to realize that they too matter in this world.

How to make friends when you have none:

1. Befriend others who are bullied or have no friends.

Think about it. These people need a friend and so do you. Therefore, befriending them would be a win-win situation!

Moreover, if bullies bully them too and they aren’t as strong as you are, they may need you to have their backs. They also need someone they can trust and look up to.

You must might bolster their confidence and they’ll in turn, not only have your back too, but they’ll also be more emboldened to stand up for themselves. Why? Because you may help them to raise their confidence level.

These people will need you and depend on you, and that’s what you want.

Therefore, instead of seeking approval from your bullies, befriend other victims they may have harmed. Why?

Because you’ll all have common ground and that’s what’s needed to make friends.

Never seek approval from your bullies or their followers. NEVER!

Why? Because you never want to build a power base with people more powerful than you are. They’ll only eat you alive!

Moreover, if they’re stronger than you, how can you expect them to depend on you? To make friends in your situation, you must look for people who will count on you. And they have to in some way, shape, or form, need you.

Therefore, the “weaker” victims will be the ones who must have you around to ensure their safety. Moreover, they’ll need you to validate their importance and their deserving of love and friendship.

They will need a friend, protector, and advocate. And you can be those things to them!

It’s much smarter to seek out and make friends with the “weaker” targets and create a relationship on their dependency on you. Because when you do, you become their pillar of strength. You become their voice and their backbone.

2. How to make friends when you have none:

Leverage their needs, your needs, and what you can do for people who are just as friendless as you.

Here’s the rub.

Because the other victims are more vulnerable, they’ll know that to turn their backs on you would be to do so at their own risk. Throwing you under the bus would only bring them hardship and pain.

In a friendship like this, you will have the power. Therefore, don’t use that power to bully them because you’re being bullied and want to feel powerful.

Instead, use it to promote solidarity with them, uplift them, and have their backs! Use your power to make them feel good about themselves and to help them build their confidence. I guarantee you that you’ll make life-long friends of them if you do it this way.

And if ever you need something done, you won’t have to use force to get your new, less powerful friends to help you out. They’ll be more than happy to oblige because you’ll be their fearless leader.

Moreover, you’ll be their protector, and the last thing they’ll want is to lose you. They’ll know that without you, they’d be in a pickle.

The beauty of this is that you and all the other victims will become a group. You’ll band together and become as one. And you’ll gain strength from your numbers. And, who knows, your new friends may have knowledge about the bullies that you can use to your advantage.

I promise you that things will only get better once you put this into action. And the only things you’ll have to lose are your low self-esteem and your feelings of powerlessness!

3. How to make friends when you have none:

Meet new people outside of the school or workplace.

How you do this is to join a club or take a course. However, if you do these things, make sure the club or course is in something you’re genuinely interested in. Don’t only do it to make friends because it won’t work out if you do.

The trick here is to find people who share the same interests that you have. Therefore, if you’re into music, join a music club. Or, if you enjoy math, take a math course.

This is how you establish common ground with others. Only then will you make friends, and possibly life-long ones.

4. Don’t be afraid.

In other words, don’t shy away from the possibility of rejection. Remember that bravery isn’t the absence of fear, it’s staring fear in the face and doing it anyway.

So, put yourself out there. Step out of your comfort zone and take risks.

5. Seek to Be A friend and not only to make one.

Zig Ziglar once quoted,

“If you go out looking for friends, you’re going to find they are very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.”

Therefore, make friends for the right reasons and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the results! You must be a friend before you can make one.

6. How to make Friends When You Have None:

Be yourself.

This is, perhaps, the most important rule of all. I’ve found that being yourself naturally and effortlessly weeds out the fakes and the snakes and attracts the true friends into your life.

Therefore, don’t try to impress anyone by being someone you aren’t. Be yourself, completely and you’ll attract the friends who are the right people for you.

7. Find people You Share something in common with.

Establishing common ground is most important because people usually befriend those they have the most in common with.

This is just human nature. Therefore, use it to your advantage!

8. Watch out for snakes.

Toxic people are everywhere! Moreover, they’re always on the hunt for someone to use and abuse. Therefore, always be observant. Pay attention to body language.

And if you have a feeling in your gut that something is off about a person, listen carefully! Because your gut or your intuition, whatever you wish to call it, is never wrong!

This post was about how to make friends when you have none so that you can establish a social life more easily while, at the same time, avoid predatory people.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

2. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

3. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

4. How Does Bullying Affect the Victim’s Friendships?

5. Choose Your Friends Wisely: 9 Criteria to Judge by

cancel culture vs calling out culture

Cancel Culture vs Calling Out: 7 Must-Know Differences

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‘Want to know the difference in cancel culture vs calling out? Here are the detailed distinctions you need to know about.

cancel culture vs calling out

Cancel Culture is just the newest and fancier form of bullying and cyber-bullying. People often say that it was intended for the purpose of shaming people in power for wrongdoing. And maybe it was intended that way.

However, bullies have only found ways to abuse it, misuse it, and weaponize it against their victims. Moreover, it’s mostly the people in power who use it to silence those who are less powerful.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the differences of cancel culture vs calling out so that you can more easily distinguish between the two and call out cancel culture when you see it happening.

Once you learn all about these distinctions, you will be more knowledgeable of them and better prepared to defend yourself against the scourge of cancel culture.

This post is all about the differences of cancel culture vs calling out so that you can protect yourself if bullies try to cancel you or get you cancelled.

Cancel Culture vs calling out

Cancel culture never provides the outcomes it was originally thought to produce. No. What it does is gives cyber-bullies a green light to bully anyone they deem unworthy of living a good life. Moreover, it only breeds cyber-bullies who are more dangerous. It even breeds cyber-criminals!

Cancel culture has negatively effected the lives of many celebrities. However, they were already rich and set for life. Understand that stars already have nest eggs of tens of millions of dollars to fall back on, if cyberbullies ever cancel them.

Therefore, cancel culture won’t affect the rich and famous like it would normal, everyday people with jobs, bills, and families to feed.

Commoners are who suffer the most from cancel culture. And cyber-bullies love to drag them through the mud because they don’t have a financial cushion to rest on. Therefore, cyber-bullies will come after them first.

So, what are the differences?

1. Cancel Culture means to harm and destroy the life of it’s target. Calling out only calls out the wrongdoing of the person.

Cancel culture involves spreading lies, incendiary comments, destructive criticism, public shaming, and threats of physical violence and death. Moreover, cyber-bullies go to extreme lengths to destroy people’s lives and they don’t stop.

On the other hand, calling out only calls out the person for something they did wrong. Calling out only attempts to get the offender to apologize and make things right. And once the transgressor has, people usually leave the person alone.

2. Cancel Culture vs Calling Out:

Cancel culture involves doxxing and publishing private information about it’s target. Calling someone out doesn’t.

Nowadays, if you fall victim to cancel culture, many cyber-bullies will dox you. They will find out where you live. Also, they will discover where you work or go to school.

But wait! It gets worse!

Doxxers will also find out who your friends and family are. Therefore, these kinds of cyber-bullies are the most dangerous because they get access to your information and do evil things with it.

Many victims of cancel culture cyber-bullying have had people call their places of employment and get them fired. Also, cyber-bullies have gotten their targets kicked out of school.

 Some have even shown at their prey’s houses, broken in, and beaten the person within an inch of their lives. Furthermore, cyberbullies have even murdered their victims or driven them to suicide.

Many cancel culture bullies have even gone after the target’s families and friends either when they couldn’t find the target, or after they were done with the target.

This kind of cyber-bullying is especially terrifying because it puts people and their loved ones in grave danger!

3. Cancel Culture vs Calling OUt:

Cancel culture is personal and comes from pure, raw hatred. Not so with calling out.

It’s so sad that there are so many people nowadays with this much vileness and hate eating away at their souls. I’ve known of a few people who fell victim to cancel culture and the comments they receive were beyond vile!

  • “You have such a punchable face,”
  • “People like you need to hurry up and die off,”
  • “I want to break into your house and rape your wife and daughter,”
  • “You don’t belong on our planet,”

And the worst comment I’ve ever seen was directed toward a CEO of a small company:

  • “We won’t stop at killing you, we’ll kill your family too and destroy your entire bloodline!”

I could actually feel the intense hatred in each comment as I read them. And the people that post this kind of stuff? You can tell that they’re in such a bad place- a horrible place!

This is a place I never want to be in, and I kid you not! Some of the vitriol on that platform will leave you speechless!

Nowadays, no one is safe.

Before the internet, if you stalked someone and threatened to kill them, you went to jail. The law charged you with terrorist threatening.  Moreover, back then, if you slandered or libeled someone without any evidence to back up your claims, you got your pants sued off.

Don’t believe that, with the robust cyber-security agencies that we have today, the law can’t arrest these types of bullies. Moreover, don’t think that the law hasn’t caught up with technology and can’t find the criminals who are destroying the lives of innocent people.

They can ping IP addresses. Even if the cyber-bully is hiding behind a VPN, proxy or cloaking their IP address, cyber-security teams can still find ways to track them.

And what should really blow your mind is that you don’t see many pedophiles and child sex traffickers being cancelled. This should be pretty odd (and suspicious) to you. But I’ll save that for a future post.

4. Cancel Culture vs Calling OUt:

Cancel culture happens for the most trivial things. Calling out doesn’t.

In other words, cancel culture cyberbullies publicly shame people for the most absurd, ludicrous, and ridiculous reasons. All it takes is for a person to say something, anything that someone else takes the wrong way.

Moreover, the wrong person can see an old high school photograph of a guy who dressed in drag at a Halloween party back in the 70’s. Back then, many men dressed as women on Halloween, and no one thought anything of it.

It was just a Halloween costume and some kids having fun. Yet people cancel the guy over it 40 years later. It’s ridiculous!

For example, three years ago, people attacked me online for “walking on the wrong side of the street” during my power walk. Walking with traffic has always seemed like a death wish to me. I’ve always walked toward traffic just in case a distracted driver comes along.

And if a driver is going to veer off the road toward me, I want to see them coming so I can get the hell out of the way and avoid them hitting me.

Granted, I never got cancelled for it, but I was told that I was the most despicable person in the world- for walking toward traffic instead of with it. Sadly, I’ve heard of many other people getting cancelled over silly stuff like that.

Cyberbullies cancel people over something foolish they may have said while drunk at a kegger thirty years ago. Or because they worked at a company or for a person that is now on the cancel culture hit list twenty year ago, ten years ago, or five years ago?

5. Cancel Culture vs Calling Out:

the former searches for things to cancel people over. the latter doesn’t need to search for anything.

It seems that cancel culture cyber-bullies must search, and search far and wide for something.  Moreover they will look for anything, even the tiniest little social infraction to get the pleasure of cancelling someone.

And if they can’t find anything, they will invent something.

It only shows that the cyber-bullies who do these kinds of things have entirely too much time on their hands. Cancel culture does nothing to make people better or teach them a lesson. What it does is embolden cyber-bullies to commit more dangerous cyber crimes.

It further empowers these bullies to completely obliterate the lives of innocent people. People who are just trying to make a living, take care of their families, and live in peace!

And these targets mind their own business, go about their lives, and just want to be left alone.

WE should make cancel culture a serious crime.

You may disagree with me and you have every right to do so. But our leaders should outlaw cancel culture. Moreover, they should make it a Class A Felony. The law should give no one carte blanche to screw around with someone else’s livelihood and personal life.

They may dislike and even hate them. They may not like what the person says. Also, they may not agree with how they do things, the way they live their lives, nor who they associate with. None of that matters.

Therefore, if that person isn’t committing a crime, their livelihoods and personal life is off limits!

5. Cancel culture seeks to destroy. Calling out only wants to teach a lesson.

These cyber-bullies go to great lengths to destroy their targets. Moreover, they may say that they want to “teach them a thing or two.”

However, they’re not trying to teach any lessons here. They’re only using that as an excuse to deliberately ruin someone’s life.

6. Cancel Culture vs Calling out:

The Former is all about power. The Latter is about justice.

They only do it for the satisfaction of having the power to do so. Therefore, understand that this is how they get the rush of power they so crave.

Because they certainly can’t get it any other way. Understand that these people are life-losers. They’re zeroes trying to look like heroes. And the sad part of it is, they know they’re zeroes.

They can’t achieve self-actualization, power, respect, nor notoriety through creativity and hard work. Why? Because they’ve got no skills nor redeemable qualities to survive on merit.

Engaging in cyber-bullying and cancel culture is the only way these people can achieve these things.  Moreover, they will attain them even if it means destroying many lives and breaking laws to do so.

And the power that cancel culture gives these bullies is dangerous and should strike terror in any law-abiding citizen. Those who only want to work, come home, enjoy the love of our families, deserve to live their lives in peace.

They do not deserve to have their lives ruined and others accuse them of blackface just because they dressed like Michael Jackson on Halloween back in 1983.

7. C.C. infringes on the rights of everyone. C.O. only holds the wrongdoer accountable.

Cancel culture is bad not only because it can destroy a person’s life, but it negatively effects everyone else as well. How?

It does so by robbing everyone of their rights to decide and choose for themselves. For example, let’s talk about book burning and banning.

Disclaimer: And no. I’m not talking about books with pornography that are intended for children. Children absolutely have NO business seeing pornography! So, these cases don’t qualify as book banning! And, ooooo! I just know I’m going to get a ton of backlash for this. Bring it on!

When people burn or ban books and their authors, not only are they violating the rights of the authors, but they’re also robbing others of the right to order them, read them, and choose for themselves whether they like them.

If I find a book in a bookstore and like the title, cover, and the synopsis on the back jacket, then I’m going to read it. You may not like the book or its author but it doesn’t mean that someone else won’t.

Therefore, you must realize that cancel culture only infringes on everyone’s rights to choose what they want to read, watch, buy, or consume. Who is anyone else to try and choose for us? Who do they think they are?

Not only am I speaking for myself, but also for every single person that values their right to decide and to choose.

It’s high time that more people rise up and push back against this senseless, moronic scourge. It’s also high time we push back against anyone who participates in it and condones it. The sooner we begin protesting this epidemic, the sooner we restore our freedoms of choice and self-determination.

This post was all about the differences in cancel culture vs calling out so that you can better distinguish between the two.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Cyberbullying Tactics: 9 Common Tricks of Cyber-Bullies and Trolls

2. Bullying on Social Media: 5 Reasons Why People Do It

3. The Horns Effect: Bully-Induced Bias Against Victims of Bullying

4. Smear Campaigns: 4 Tactics Bullies Use to Sully Your Reputation

5. Social Bullying Examples: 7 Reasons Bullies Destroy Relationships

teachers bullying teacher in schools

Teachers Bullying Teachers: When a Teacher is the Victim

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Teachers bullying teachers. Sadly, it’s more common than we know. There are many testimonials out there of good teachers, the best of the best, who have told their stories of horrific bullying by other school staff members. Here are the details of what bullied teachers endure.

teachers bullying teachers

Teaching is not only thankless but also dangerous in times like these. In fact, teachers should get hazard pay, maybe even combat pay! With the school climate what it is today, teachers risk being harmed, maimed, also murdered, and many don’t make it to retirement.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about teachers bullying teachers and the hell they go through at work. Moreover, if you’re a teacher who is enduring this kind of evil, there are things you can do to fight back successfully.

Once you learn about this horrible epidemic, you will have the tools needed to combat the bullying you suffer. Also, if you aren’t a teacher, you will get a glimpse into the life of a bullied teacher.

Teachers bullying teachers

Many teachers have quit and opted for second careers because of the many issues in schools and communities. Can you blame them?

Moreover, teachers get paid a pittance for what they must put up with every day. Moreover, they don’t get the support from parents, principals, and higher school officials they did decades ago.

Also, teacher’s unions are a complete joke! They don’t care about the kids much less the teachers. In my not-so-humble opinion, teacher’s unions are a big money racket and political activist group! I wouldn’t be a teacher if someone offered me triple the salary!

Along with crappy pay, teachers are held responsible for the poor performance and failing grades of their students. Moreover, let’s be real here. Many kids are lazy, and many parents are too busy being the child’s BFF rather than being a parent. They’re to distracted to make their children hit the books.

Therefore, why is this the teacher’s fault?

A teacher’s workload

Teachers also have a truckload of homework themselves. How? You may ask.

Most must grade test papers and assignments at home, on their own time. And many parents can’t buy the necessary school supplies for their children to bring to class. Therefore, it’s the teachers who end up having to dig into their own pockets to provide for these kids.

Couple that with the shoddy pay, and these teachers get a pretty raw deal.

Teachers bullying Teachers:

Teachers Who Suffer Bullying

Many teachers also endure bullying. And not only by their fellow teachers and staff but by students and their parents as well.

Therefore, when it’s the child who bullies the teacher, how’s that teacher supposed to handle it effectively without support from the principal, the school district, and parents?

Many bullied teachers are also bullied by parents.

A lot of kids are disrespectful and unruly these days. Many of today’s parents have an overinflated sense of entitlement.

Therefore, it makes sense that they would raise kids with the same pathetic attitude.

Lots of times, the parents will overlook their child’s behavior at school. Even worse, some even encourage it because they feel that their child is “entitled” act how they want.

And when the teacher calls the child out, the parent feels they transgressed against their kid somehow.

Also, schools and their districts often encourage teachers to give the kid a passing grade even if the student doesn’t earn it. Why?

Because they want to keep the school’s performance ratings up and the government off their backs.

Therefore, if the teacher happens to be an honest person and doesn’t comply, she’s fired.

Teachers bullying teachers:

Honest Teachers’ hands tied.

I’ve both heard and read of instances when the teacher disciplined a student for disruptive behavior. The teacher only made the child leave the classroom and stand in the hall or sent the kid to the principal’s office.

As a result, an angry and hostile parent confronted them later.

Moreover, there are stories out there which tell of incidences when a student failed a test and the teacher gave the kid a bad grade. Mind you, this was a grade the child deserved.

Sadly, an enraged parent stormed into their classroom the next day, demanding to know why. Some parents go so far as to threaten physical harm!

Is it any wonder where bullies get their atrocious behavior from? They learn it from watching their parents and siblings.

Kids, especially those who are bullies, are smarter then you think.

Understand that kids aren’t as clueless as many want to believe, especially kids who bully. Moreover, these kids are often socially intelligent beyond their years, and they pick up on these things. And these things are those that other kids their age often miss.

These children know that these days, teachers can’t do much about their bad behavior. Therefore, they take full advantage of it. It’s just what kids do.

Pushing boundaries to see what you can get away with is only a part of being a kid. Kids do either what their parents allow or aren’t aware of. And again, they imitate what they see at home and what they see peers do.

Consequently, teachers don’t get near the support they should. Is it any wonder there’s a mass shortage of teachers in this country? And I can’t say that I blame most people for not wanting to have a career in teaching.

Teacher on Teacher Bullying:

Unfortunately, Bullying in schools is not only among kids, teachers also bully other teachers.

Teacher on teacher bullying is more common than we realize. Moreover, there are millions of educators who live in fear of confrontation, ridicule, and being defamed in the community.

Moreover, those who endure bullying at work are mostly the best teachers who love children and want to make a difference in their lives.

And sadly, just like in any other case of workplace bullying, other teachers and even principals and school boards bully these teachers out of jealousy and competition.

Many of these bullied educators are people who are well-liked by students and parents. Other school officials hear kids and parents praise the good teacher and immediately envy the poor person.

Realize that bullies, especially workplace bullies, despise competition. In other words, they abhor anyone in the profession who outshines them or steals the spotlight away from them.

Therefore, they retaliate against the star worker because they feel as if this person makes them look less than. Also, they do it to preserve their ego.

Like all bullies, Bullying teachers have big egos.

It takes a special kind of person to be a teacher in today’s world. If you’re one of those brave, caring, and awesome people, know you have my utmost respect.

Know that the hard work and sacrifices you make haven’t gone unnoticed. You are one in a million and though you may not know it, I and so many others salute you!

This post was all about teachers bullying teachers and why they do it so that you can know the intentions behind the bullying if you’re a teacher who suffers workplace bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. What Not to Share at Work When You Suffer Workplace Bullying

2. Bullying Support: 7 Resources You Can Reach Out to

3. Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

4. Benefits of Setting Boundaries

5. Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For