‘Want to know about passive-aggressive bullying, better known as sneak-dissing? Here is everything you need to know.
This type of bullying isn’t easy to recognize. It’s even harder to call out because you risk looking foolish.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about passive-aggressive bullying. Additionally, you will learn how to recognize it using context and identify it accordingly.
Once you learn all about this critical information, you will be better able to see it and point it out. Moreover, you will be able to expose the bully for who they are. A coward! And you will help others see the real person inside them, too.
This post is all about recognizing and calling out passive-aggressive bullying so that you can do so confidently.
Passive-Aggressive Bullying
Being bullied by someone who is passive-aggressive is the most demeaning and humiliating experience for a person. I say this because when these types of people insult you, they’re slick about it.
They catch you off guard. They taunt you in such a way that you may have difficulty figuring out who it’s aimed at. Sometimes, you don’t even know it’s directed at you. That is, until it’s way too late for you to deliver a good comeback.
Why? Because the bully may not necessarily address it to you. Instead, they’ll tell it to everyone else around you… right in front of you.
However, they’ll do it in a way that leaves you in doubt. You will question yourself.
- “Am I hearing this correctly?”
- “Is this creep talking to me without saying it directly to me?
It’s understandable. The last thing you want is to look foolish if the person is talking about someone else and not you. However, your gut is nagging the hell out of you.
And while you may not be sure, you can bet that any bystanders and witnesses nearby immediately know who the covert nastiness is meant for. It’s funny how we tend to see so much clearly from the outside.
What is Sneak Dissing?
What I just described above is known as a sneak diss. Sneak dissing is a form of attack where a passive-aggressive bully talks about someone without mentioning their name.
If they do it within earshot, they won’t call you by name, but they will talk about you. The reason bullies do this is to avoid a direct conflict with you. In other words, the bully is a coward.
Passive-Aggressive bullying:
Sneak Dissing is a coward’s way of addressing an issue.
Therefore, it’s easier for you to stand up to this kind of bullying once you recognize it. Believe me. You’ll know they’re talking about you.
How? Your gut instinct will be nagging you like an alarm clock that won’t shut off.
What’s so terrible about sneak dissing is that the stealthy insults are usually hurled at you in front of an audience. They can quickly fly over your head. And you end up looking weak and like a clueless idiot for not catching it in time.
And even though the bully’s words are vague and unclear, they will still nibble at your self-esteem. They will take a chunk out of your pride whether you want them to or not.
Because you usually figure it out sooner or later. It only goes to prove how vicious these covert attacks can be.
The bully and a few others might think he’s witty. Moreover, bystanders might believe that the creep slapped you with a good burn. However, there are reasons why these types are so slick with their mouths.
Why some bullies use passive-aggressive abuse.
1. They’re great big cowards.
Passive-aggressive bullies don’t have the guts to make a direct attack.
In fact, they hope the insults go over your head. They want to confuse you and throw you off-balance. Why? Because if the can confuse you, the least likely you are to clap back.
The last thing this bully wants is for you to come back with a good counter-attack and make them look like a punk.
2. Passive-Aggressive Bullying:
They think it makes them look cute.
Passive-aggressiveness is also used to get attention and look intelligent in front of others. The only way these bullies can achieve this is to humiliate you. And if they can make you look and feel foolish in public, all the better!
3. To stun you and keep you silent.
Often, the shock value of the insults is such that it leaves the recipient and bystanders speechless. Shock shuts down the ability to think clearly. Therefore, it causes you to pause for a second or two.
In other words, it leaves you stunned. As a result, you’re standing there with your mouth hanging open and unable to respond quickly and appropriately.
This makes you appear slow and feeble-minded to bystanders, while the bully looks smart and witty.
It can also strike fear into you and keep you from speaking out. Therefore, you’ll stay silent. And why not? You’ll be afraid that the bully will only verbally beat you down with more wisecracks.
4. Easy Deniability.
If the insults are vague and indirect, there’s a higher chance the bully will escape accountability. If you catch it right away and respond to it, you may appear to be the instigator.
Then, your bully can easily misconstrue the message. They can defensively claim, “Oh, that’s not what I meant,” “No harm intended,” “I wasn’t referring to you,” or “You took that the wrong way.”
The garbage that comes out of their mouths may be vile and directed at you. However, it will have several different meanings.
And because of those multiple meanings, the bully can very innocently explain away the put-downs. Therefore, they can make you look mentally unstable.
Passive-Aggressive Bullying:
Here’s how to read between the lines.
But here’s the good news! There are ways to read between the lines. Then you can stonewall these lowlife cowards anytime they get slick-mouthed with you.
1. Listen to your gut.
If that nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach feels off and you sense something is amiss, don’t ignore it. Your gut feeling is often right, so trust it!
2. Quickly observe any surrounding bystanders.
Make a split-second micro-glance at the witnesses. Note their reactions and who they’re looking at.
Notice their facial expressions and gestures. If you see any of these expressions below, and you’re likely to notice many of them together, you are the target of the insult.
Here’s what to look for.
1. If the witnesses’ eyes widen suddenly and they immediately look at you funny after the bully opens his mouth.
Bystanders will do this because they know the bully aimed their remark at you. They also know that you should have picked up on it.
Moreover, they’re wondering why you stand there and take it. You can bet that they’re thinking, “Damn! Why doesn’t she tell this asshole to go to hell? I sure as shit would!”
Some of them are probably thinking, “Man! What a wimp! No way I’d take that!”
If nothing else, understand this! Anytime a bully makes a wisecrack, your gut will let you know, and so will the reactions of the people around you. Therefore, tell the bully in no uncertain terms to get bent!
2. Passive-Aggressive Bullying:
If they alternate uncomfortable glances from the bully to you, then back to the bully.
Again, if your bully insults you and you’re unsure about it, others’ reactions will confirm that they did. Bystanders may do this because they’re waiting on you to buck up and let the bully have it.
Moreover, they’re wondering why you don’t.
So, tell the bully to go screw themselves. A small response is better than no response.
3. If you hear light gasps and grunts of shock from the “audience.”
Realize that the bystanders are both shocked and embarrassed for you. Again, you know what to do! Let the bully have it!
4. If you see their whole faces change suddenly, and their mouths slightly gape open.
Counter the bully’s attack.
5. If you hear soft but derisive giggles, chuckles, or laughter
Bystanders may laugh at you because they’ve lost respect for you. Moreover, they may even hate you. Therefore, they enjoy seeing people humiliate you in front of everyone.
Again, don’t take this crap lying down. Say something back. Slap the bully with a good burn. Hit them in the face with their own shit. Or tell them to get lost.
However, you respond. It’s better to counter them than to remain silent and appear a victim.
6. Passive-Aggressive Bullying:
If you see or hear snickering
Do what you must do to keep your dignity. Counter the attack.
Any number of these reactions from bystanders will give you a yes. Therefore, you can address the problem accordingly.
Here are the Hallmarks of Sneak Dissing
- Silent Treatment
- Backhanded compliments
- Indirect criticism
- Subtle wisecracks and insults.
- Shifting blame
- Insinuations and Innuendos
- Ambiguous Language
In Closing
When some snake tries to sneak diss you, don’t ignore it. Don’t let them get away with it. Always counter passive-aggressive bullying. It’s easier than you think! Here are a few quick responses you can use.
- “Don’t be a moron.”
- “Blow it out your ass.”
- “Go screw yourself.” Or, use the other word if you prefer more colorful language.
But whatever you do, don’t stay silent because you’ll only allow the bully to defeat you. Then they will repeat their behavior every time they see you.
So, don’t be an easy target. Take care of business the first time it happens.
This post was all about passive-Aggressive Bullying and sneak-Dissing so that you can Recognize it when it happens and respond accordingly.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target
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Aum Shanti
Thank you so much, Shanti.
I let this go on for too long or responded in the wrong way. Your burn suggestions are very good, plus I found the one finger salute can be effective.
Thank you so much, Michael. And yes, the one-fingered salute works wonders sometimes. It did for me on several occasions.
I actually think passive-aggressive bullying in some ways can be more problematic. For one, the passive aggressive person often times gets a bigger pass when it comes to bullying especially by teachers, bosses, etc. The school yard bully is obvious, sometimes passive-aggressive is not. Most people consider passive-aggressive people as “nicer” than the blatant bully. But I would argue in many cases the passive-aggressive bully is simply more cunning.
I agree, Jill. The passive-aggressive bully is worse because they’re sneakier with their attacks and you don’t always catch it in time.