Hated for Being Smart or Pitied for Being Dumb?
I ask this question because many intelligent people try to hide their smarts for fear of hatred and bullying. They let others convince them that, because of their smarts, they come off as know-it-alls. Others tell them to dumb down because they “don’t want to make others feel bad about themselves.” They may even tell them to tone it down a little or they just might offend some people.
This is total BS!
I want you to know one thing right now! It is not your responsibility to make someone else feel good about themselves. Whether your intelligence offends others is not your problem. Their hatred of you is also not your problem.
Continue to be Your Smart Self
Understand that the reason why your intelligence may offend some people is because they are either jealous, intimidated, or insecure. It’s because of their own unaddressed psychological issues- issues that they’re trying to lay off on you.
Your intelligence may inspire some to doubt their own smarts and mental capabilities. Also, it may provoke others to compare themselves to you. Again, not your responsibility. They are the ones doubting and questioning their own intelligence. They are the ones who are making comparisons. You aren’t doing these things to them. They are doing it to themselves!
You are Not Responsible for Someone Else’s Feelings
Again, you are not responsible for another person’s self-esteem. Only they can do the inner work needed to raise their confidence levels. Therefore, if they’re too lazy to do that inner work, that’s on them!
Here’s another point I want to make: The hate that’s directed at you never feels good and can be frightening. But always remember that there’s dignity in being hated, but none in being pitied.
Yes, you read that correctly. When people hate you, you still have your dignity. But when they pity you, you’ve lost all dignity and respect!
Others hate smart people, but they pity the stupid.
Therefore, never hide your intelligence from anyone. Let yourself stand out and shine. And never feel tempted to hide your brilliance because you’re afraid of being bullied, ridiculed, or hated by others. Instead, ask yourself,
“Would you rather be hated for being smart or pitied for being dumb?”
I rest my case.
0 thoughts on “Which Would You Rather Be?”
Great article! You have definitely made your case. I have never really thought about the “hate vs. pity” argument. You are absolutely right. Took me a long time to realize that I am not responsible for anyone else’s feelings or actions. Gonna do my best to shine with “intelligence” today! Best Wishes! Leigh
I’m so proud of you, Leigh! Keep shining, sweetie! Thank you so much for your kind words and your thoughts! 💖🌺💐
As always you hit the nail on the head. I emailed this to my bully of a boss -“You have to look deep inside on why you feel so inadequate around me. Your feeling are your own.”
The rest of the team saw what I was doing as an inspiration, the manager as a threat.
Wow! I’m so proud of you, Kira! You stood up to the boss without lowering yourself and you are to be commended! Thank you so much for your kind words and your story! 💖💐🌺
I’d rather be hated for being intelligent. The reason being is that at least I’d be smart enough to know who my friends really are and smart enough to walk away from horrible people that imbed themselves into my life.
Bingo! You said that perfectly, LaShelle! 💯💖😍
Ultimately, we need to take care of #1 . . . ourselves. We just need to turn off the background noises of life.
So true. Some people also mock the wisdom and intelligence of others when they don’t like what others are saying.
If it steps on their toes, some will begin demanding stats and sometimes where one is speaking from is wisdom and knowledge acquired through their experience.
Experience is a great teacher! But if they don’t like what someone is saying they may try to shoot down what us said or invalidate the experiences.
In addition, some people are definitely told to dumb themselves down, act like they know less so that someone else can “feel” good about themselves or not threatened.
I can’t believe that some religious people actually teach this concerning gender roles too.
You are absolutely right. It is not the responsibility of anyone to try to make someone else feel good about themselves, especially by pretending to be less intelligent than they actually are. Thank you.
You’re most welcome, Petrina! And boy are you right about every point you made! Most people really don’t want to listen to wisdom anymore because they don’t wantbto feel stupid. And feeling stupid is also why some people will tell you to dumb down. Thank you so much for your thoughts on this, sweetie! You don’t know just how valuable your words are! 💖💐🌺🌹
Right on Cherie!
Thank you so much, Michael!
People should be proud of their education or being naturally smart. Often times it is women who dumb themselves down because some men have an ego so massive they can’t take their significant other being smarter in their mind. Major red flag there. They also can’t take the thought of a woman being stronger or more successful. Both major red flags.
Also interesting to note that former President Trump’s strongest base was uneducated voters. 51 percent of those without a degree voted for him, much higher than usually vote Republican while Hillary Clinton and now Joe Biden scored higher with those with college degrees. Frankly the fact that many continue to defend Trump is an indication of that.
Thank you for your thoughts, Max. And you’re right about some women dumbing themselves down and because some men have massive egos. I’ve met a few men like that. Thank goodness my husband celebrates women who are smart! He was there when I graduated college and I thank him for that.
Although I’m a college graduate with a degree, I’ve known quite a few “educated” idiots with no common sense. So, don’t look down on people who don’t have a college degree. My grandmother only had a 6th grade education, but she had a truckload of common sense and could see right through people!
Again, thank you for your thoughts.
Definitely smart but the problem is especially growing up, smart isn’t cool. People view overly smart people as nerdy. Think back to high school. A lot of people label the cheerleaders or athletes as dumb jocks and that’s a stereotype. Many are quite intelligent. Also think about dating situations, how many guys or girls focus on what is most important, a person’s heart and mind. Even say a hot cheerleader who is insanely smart gets viewed for her looks over her brain. Sad but true.
I also think we have to be careful when people have a higher opinion of their intelligence than is there. Case and point, anyone who thinks bullying is justified…not very smart behavior. Anyone who thinks it is a rite of passage…dumb statement. And we need to be careful in a polarized society as well. Take this concept of “Patriots” in today’s politics. The insurrection was dumb and damaging! A woman lost her life and several police officers were hurt. Some committed suicide and some have been forced to leave the profession because of their injuries. There was nothing smart or intelligent about doing what they did or to be so radicalized you follow a man and do what you think he wants or does want you to do. There is nothing smart about that.
Absolutely, people in high school think smarts is nerdy. But the majority of kids in high school, especially the “cool kids,” are superficial as heck! In high school, it’s all about appearances and the kids who fake it best, are usually the cool crowd.
Thank you so much, Bishop! 💖