You already know the first three ways bullies use gaslighting. Here are more of their evil tactics and what you can do to keep your self-esteem intact.
4. Isolating the Target (Divide and Conquer)
Bullies often force their targets into isolation through social aggression (spreading rumors and lies about the person or intimidating his/her associates).
In doing this, bullies strategically turn the target’s friends and associates against them to cut him/her off from any support or protection they might otherwise receive. Once the subject is isolated, the bullies then move in for the kill and take the bullying to new heights.
If the target expresses the desire to change schools or workplaces, the bullies may try to discourage him/her by convincing them that they won’t be treated any better in the new environment or attempting to block the targets’ transfer and cut off any means of escape.
5. Bullies Make Themselves Out to be Superior and Cunningly Convince the Target that he/she needs them to get along.
Bullies slyly force their target to believe he/she somehow needs their approval. If the bullies can make the target dependent on them, their power and control only increase.
Bullies do this by convincing to target that they (the bullies) are the only ones who can better his/her (the target’s) situation- that only through them (the bullies) will the person be able to make friends and enjoy positive relationships! And only with their (the bullies’) permission will the target find happiness and fulfillment.
Also, bullies make the target believe that they must submit to their every whim and wish, no matter how demeaning, before they grant him/her relief from the attacks. But understand that bullies will never leave you alone! It’s is only another tactic to assert domination!
6. Empty Promises
“If you do this, I’ll go away quietly and leave you alone.”
“If you do that, I’ll be your friend.”
“If you’d only do XYZ, I’ll make things easier for you.”
Don’t buy any of it! You can never appease a bully. They will never go away or stop the harassment. They only make empty promises to keep you under their control. Understand that bullies have an insatiable appetite for power, control, and destruction.
They are like bottomless pits, and no matter what you do to please them, they’ll only continue or increase the torment. You must realize that no amount of bullying is ever enough for a bully. Bullies are power and drama addicts, and harassment of their targets is like a drug to them. They can never get enough! Bullies always come back for more! In short, they become drunk on their own power.
The only way to stop a bully is to either use reverse psychology, put the fear of God into him/her by calling them out publicly, or go no contact if you can. If you can’t, then use the first two suggestions. It may or may not work, but keep it up. Because if you just clam up and say nothing, you’ll feel terrible about yourself later.
There are two things bullies fear most. Losing face and losing power, which would only come from having their evil exposed and and with the target ceasing to care what they say and think altogether. NOTE: When you stop caring (which can only happen after you see the bullies for the pathetic souls they really are), it’ll be so much easier to come back with a witty, one-line counter-dig and keep walking.
Another important note: DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! Write it all down in detail to keep records of this kind of stuff! You may need it!!!!!!
Jot down what happened (in detail), including date and time it happened, where it happened, who the bullies are, names of any bystanders, teachers, supervisors, etc., and if possible, why it happened (was it retaliation?)! EVERYTHING!
Find ways to expose bullies and reclaim your power.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
0 thoughts on “6 Ways Bullies Gaslight Their Targets (Part 2)”
I still think we live in a world of bullies…because most men are raised that way…anyway, it’s all very true…Thanks, take care of yourself ❤️❤️
You’re very welcome, Jim! And you’re right, the world is overrun with bullies. 🙂
some are right here on wordpress unfortunately
There are a few on here, yes. I dealt with a blogger-bully not long ago and blocked her. However, it’s still not as bad here as on other social media! WordPress is still the best by far. Every place will have a hand full of bullies but WP isn’t overrun with them like Facebook, Twitter, and other platforms.
I agree…I just got into emailing someone who seemed kind of “off”… because I am so lonely. But they did something terrible to me ☹️☹️
It’s easy to get sucked in sometimes. But, if at anytime something seems “off” about a person, it’s best to steer clear of them. Just for future reference.
Yes, I’m surprised I got conned. I wasn’t thinking…thanks ❤️
people always take advantage of my good nature ..I’m sick of sick people
I understand and my heart goes out to you. It’s best to be kind, but you don’t have to tolerate people who violate your boundaries. <3
Yeah, I have to be more careful especially when people seem too good to be true…charmers? Anyway it’s over, I won’t be mistreated anymore even if I have to be alone forever…thanks 😊
You’re most welcome, Jim. And I’m proud of you. Keep standing your group with the psychos.
I love your insights, thank you. Your words always give me courage….
You’re most welcome, Stella. Know that you have my support always. 😀
In Aikido there is an exercise of attention calling to stop hostile intent. Yell STOP 🛑. This will bring attention to the immediate circumstances the bully is attempting to conduct, causing embarrassment of the behavior. Retaliation may happen, so it is imperative to back it up with other plans, social linking, getting one adult in your corner, martial arts, etc. However, with a few weeks, the negative reinforcement of the behavior shown will create lack of confidence in the bully and courage in the person being bullied. Thank you for sharing!
I totally agree, Dr. Maples! Yelling stop does draw unwanted attention to the bullies! And they will retaliate later, no doubt about that! Thank you so much for your suggestions because they DO work wonders! <3
Thank you so much, Mohinul! 🙂
UGH! Gaslighting is so frustrating! Excellent advice and post! Best Wishes! Leigh
Thank you so much, Leigh! And I agree, gaslighting is one of the most frustrating things there is! Blessings to you always! 😀 <3
Very informative I must say. Everyone should just read this and know what to scrap off their life. 🤗❤
Thank you so much, Lamittan. This is much appreciated! 🙂
Feel most welcome, dear, always. 💕🌟🌟💕✅
Great share! Helps to encourage, it is true. Thanks for share Cherie!
Have a wonderful time!
You’re most welcome, Elvira! And thank you for your kind words! Wishing you a great day! <3
Thanks dear Cherie, it is a pleassure, follow your great blog. Nice day too! ❤️🤗
It’s always a never-ending battle isn’t it? It seems like you got to go all “Incredible Hulk” on them before they sit their behinds down and be still. Karma is still a bitch! Just sayin’! 🤔🤨😮
Absolutely, Kym. Bullies are very persistent and sometimes you must show your ugly side to get them to back off- and many times, it means putting the fear of God in them. 😀
Oh yeah, putting the fear of God in them is right. Nowadays, people just don’t tolerate that type of treatment like they once did. Bullies need to tread lightly! 😲🤨😕
Treat lightly is RIGHT, girlie! Some people will make bullies rue the day they ever messed with them! LOLOLOL
Nice article, wonderful and useful, thank you you are nice
You’re most welcome. And thank you for your kind words. 🕊
WOW after reading this, it dawned on me I did both—no contact AND publicly call out (podcast)—my narcissistic mother. No contact months ago was the best decision I have ever made. I am finally waking up from her conditioning. I feel powerful after reading this. Thanks (again) 🙂
You’re most welcome, Christine! I’m so glad you’re finally waking up, sweetie! I believe a wonderful life awaits you from here on. Bless you! 💖💐🕊🦋