They’re the kinds of deception bullies love to practice. Bullies understand, perhaps more than anyone else, that a pure lie isn’t likely to be believed and would only discredit them. However, if they tell a half-truth, which is a lie that contains even a tiny grain of truth, people will more than likely believe it.
Exaggerations and distortions are perfect for bullies because there’s always a degree of truth to them. For example, a bully will provoke a target and keep provoking him/her until the target gets fed up and, in a low but angry growl, tells the bully to buzz off. The bully will then tell everyone else about the altercation, making sure to blow it up, and make it bigger than it was.
She tells others the target started the confrontation. She exaggerates what happened by telling others that the target screamed and cursed her out, being sure to leave out the part where she kept provoking the target and didn’t stop until the target get tired of her crap and told her to buzz off.
Also, instead of telling the truth, that the target told her to buzz off. The bully may distort it by saying that the target told her to f*** off instead.
Here’s another example. A bully supervisor tells a targeted employee to do a task. The targeted employee hasn’t yet completed the first task and he must complete it in the next thirty minutes to meet the deadline. The target tells the bully boss that he’ll get started on his request as soon as he’s finished his current task.
The bully boss goes back and distorts everything, He exaggerates the target’s response by telling management that the target refused to do the task and is being insubordinate, leaving out that the target told him that he would fulfill his request as soon as he got done with the task at hand. Management reprimands the target and gives him a write-up for insubordination, not knowing the whole story.
The two above scenarios are examples of exaggerations and distortions.
I’ll even give you a real-life example: Just after I wrote and published my memoir, “From Victim to Victor,” a former classmate bought it and read it. When she came to the part where two bullies, who happened to be her friends, died in a tragic car accident and I expressed in the book that, at the time, I didn’t care that the girls were dead and that they were two less bullies I’d have to deal with, she got angry and took it out of context.
I’ll be honest. Yes, at the time it happened, which was thirty plus years ago, I did feel that way- I didn’t care that they were dead and that I felt a sense of relief. And yes, the 17-year-old me considered their deaths to be a good dose of karma for the way they and the rest of the classmates had treated me and several others. And yes, a part of that bullied teenager, who was me, was even glad the two girls were gone.
However, that was how I felt back then and not how I feel today. Nevertheless, she sounded off to the other classmates, distorting it and making it sound like I still felt that way today, and exaggerated it saying that I celebrated the girls’ deaths today, which was false. Then she told them not to read the book.
The real reason she told them not to read it is because she was afraid that they’d figure out that it was all past tense and that today, I am saddened that they died so young. Feelings do change over time. Since then, I’ve lost a few close family members and the deaths of loved ones have a way of quickly changing your perspective.
It’s important that you know how to name lies like this because when you can put a name on them, you can better describe it and you can better communicate what the bullies are doing and how they do it without sounding like you’re rambling.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
0 thoughts on “Ways Bullies Deceive- Exaggerations, and Distortions”
All true ❤️
Thank you so much, Jim! 🕊
An excellent post
Thank you so much, Rajiv! 🕊
Awesome post! You are doing a wonderful job. Keep up the good work.
Thank you so much! 💖
Thank you for sharing this. i was in a work situation like you described once. It was a constant situation.
You’re most welcome! 😊 And, unfortunately, yes! Bullies are very persistent!
At the time, i didn’t realize I was being bullied. I thought I was a bad employee because I couldn’t do the amount of work expected. Once I fid=gured out it was unreasonable, it was too late to change the narrative without losing my job. It contained on to the next supervisor when the first left.
My heart hurts for you. 💔 Overwhelming work, impossible demands, and unrealistic work expectations comes with workplace bullying unfortunately. And the reason they do this is to set you up.to fail. I hope you found a way out of that horrible environment without being terminated- created an exit strategy and walked away with your self-respect.
I found a way always to rise above what was demanded of me. My last boss was reasonable. Plus, half of my work was shifted to another department. This made my last years there more comfortable. i retired, and I’m loving it.
Oh, I’m so proud of you! 😃 Now THIS!!!! I love to hear and read stories of triumph like yours! Here’s hoping you enjoy many more years of your retirement! ❤
I also started writing books. My former boss is one of the characters. The ladies in my book get their revenge on him.
Cooool! 😎😎😎 Sounds like something I’d love to read!
I’m working on editing the first book in the series.
Awesome! I’m looking forward to its publication! 😃
I hope it will be in the near future.
It will be. I believe in you! <3
This happens all the time and it stinks.
It sure does…to high heaven! 💯
Sorry you had to cope with this. Really unpleasant but you have used it to teach. Well done.
Thank you so much, Sandy! 🕊 This means a lot! 💖
Distortions, exaggerations, and deceptions. 😠 Interesting character traits bullies tend to embody. You rose from the stink of their septic tank girlfriend, leaving them to stink like the dickens in their own do-do! 😲💩🤭 Great post girlfriend. 👏🏼🥂🥰 Live, learn, and continue to teach my sweet friend.
Thank you so much, girlie! ❤💐🌹 And I love the way you worded that!
“You rose from the stink of their septic tank girlfriend, leaving them to stink like the dickens in their own do-do!” Now that gave me the chuckles! 🤭🤭🤭 Love it! 💖💖💖
Honey girlfriend, you were spot on! They think their “sh@%” don’t stink you know. LMBO 😝😲😜
😂🤣😂🤣 You ain’t kidding, honey! 💯
Very insightful Cherie. Those half truths or not telling the full story makes its so much harder for the victim to defend themselves. It is so frustrating and hurtful when you end up copping the blame for something which was not your fault. When you are young you feel powerless but hopefully as more awareness around bullying becomes the norm, we can equip more people to deal with with and call it out when needed.
Thank you so much! 💖 And you’re right- it makes it so difficult. And many targets are young and naive- we all were at one time. Bullies take FULL advantage of that!
When you know exactly what it is, it’s much easier to call it out.
All are true very well written ! Thanks 🙂👌for sharing.
You’re most welcome, Priti! Thank you for your encouragement! <3
You are welcome 👌stay blessed ❤
It’s my pleasure❤God bless you ☺🙏
God bless you too. <3
Thanks for sharing this💫…it’s amazing
This means a lot, Emmanuel! Thank you so much! 🙂
You are welcome
They come in all demographics, and I never imagined in my most tormenting of nightmares, way past high school into retired years and female, but the web makes it so easy for cowards to be cowards. Their most distinct narcissistic fingerprint is getting the world to feel sorry for them and to side with them by flying their manipulative flag labeled “victim”. It’s sad for them, yes, but after the hell I have lived attempting to rid myself of one stalker for nearly a decade, I no longer feel sorry for them. I only wish more posts like this would circulate. Well done!
Thank you so much, Marcia. I’m so sorry you have to deal with such pathetic people. Narcissist bullies are the absolute worst and I’ve found that the best way to deal with narcs is to go either grey rock, or no contact. I’m so glad this helped you and you’re more than welcome to share it if you’d like. Blessings to you! <3
Going over my site inch by inch grey rock proofing. Thx again, Cherie, and blessings to you too. <3
You’re most welcome, Marcia! 💖
This one rings very true- sad to say. Why can’t when dealing with reprimands can we not respectfully( for ourselves at least) call a spade a spade? Why can’t we state outright that this has all been exaggerated, blown way outta proportion and distorted beyond recognition. Is it in the delivery? Should simply state the facts in a calm yet aloof manner?
I couldn’t agree more! But, you know bullies! Distortions and taking stuff out of context is their game!