When bullies order the target around, they deny his/her equality and autonomy. Instead of respectfully asking for what they want, bullies only bark off orders as if the target were their subordinate or subject. Proverbially, this is how bullies claim ownership of the person. Understand that bullies don’t have to be bosses or authority to order you around.
Here are some examples of orders and what you can say to counter them:
“Get (your ass) in here!”
“Screw you!”
“Come back here now!”
“Or what?”
“Clean this (shit) up!”
“YOU clean it up!”
“Don’t walk away from me!”
“I just did!”
“You’re not leaving!”
“Watch me!”
“I wanna talk to you!”
“Get lost!”
“I’ve got a bone to pick with you!”
“Drop dead!”
“Pick that up!”
“Up yours!”
“Sit down!”
“YOU sit down!”
“Shut up!”
“YOU shut up!”
“Move!”
“YOU move!”
Understand that no one has the right to give you orders other than your boss, teachers or your parents or grandparents. And if a classmate or coworker steps over the line and barks off an order, it’s as simple as saying, “I don’t take orders.”
The trick is to counter the order. It’s the only way to maintain your autonomy, self-esteem and keep feeling good about yourself.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
Hello Cherie! I hope this finds you well. I’m wishing you much happiness and love for the holiday season and beyond.
Oh, thank you, Victoria. This is so sweet of you! Wishing you also a very Merry Christmas and a happy and prosperous New Year! <3
This brought back some memories. Had a supervisor who was not my superior try to order me around. I stared at her and after a long and uncomfortable moment (for her), asked “Do you want to rephrase that?” She looked like I’d killed her puppy. Then she asked me to do the task using please and thankyou and ending it with “if you have the time”. It was a small victory and I had to repeat it about once a year to remind her.
Great going, Valerie! Way to stand your ground, girl! <3