4 Reasons Why Neediness is Not Only Bad for You, But Also Unattractive and Repelling

Spread the love

Closeup portrait unhappy woman giving loser sign on forehead, looking at you with anger and hatred on face isolated on gray background.

Neediness is not a good look on anyone. It’s unattractive and off-putting. To be blunt, it’s downright gross! It’s the equivalent of an overpowering stench one must hold their nose and run from to keep from getting sick.

When a target is bullied, they often become needy. Because they’re shunned and rejected for so long, they become ravenously hungry for any morsel of approval and will lap up anything that even looks like it. But they often see acceptance when it’s really only tolerance.

Anytime a target becomes needy, some people might include them in their groups, but not because they like them or want to be around them. They’ll only pretend to like the target because they feel sorry for him. And the last thing the target should want is someone’s pity. Yuck! Who in their right mind would want to settle for that?


But wait! It gets worse!

After a while, the pity that his (the target’s) so-called friends have for him may wear thin.

Here are a few reasons why neediness is not only unattractive and humiliating but downright dangerous:

1. Any time you’re a target of bullying by everyone- the group of so-called friends who pretend to like you put themselves at risk of being made targets themselves. And they know it. In the minds of the bullies and others, they’re guilty by association. Instead of being an asset to the group, you become a liability!

2. The group is having to pretend to like having you around because they don’t want to hurt your feelings. But their real feelings about you will only seep out in ways that are not so obvious. It’ll be so subtle that you may not even know it’s happening. And you can bet that if you make the slightest mistake or they perceive the tiniest slight from you, the floodgates will open and their real feelings of dislike and hatred will come rushing out like a raging torrent. And they’ll look for any reason to make you go away even if they must treat you with blatant brutality.

3. Your so-called friends will never have your back. They’ll disappear at the first sign of trouble. When your bullies come calling, your fake friends will throw you under the bus, then get behind the wheel and run you over a few times. Understand that these people will not value you as a person.

disgust repulsion yuck

4. You’ll only draw people who are predators. Users and abusers are drawn to the needy like vultures to a carcass. They seek out people who are desperate to exploit their needs and weaknesses to get what they want from them. And once they’ve gotten all they want out of the person, they discard them like a dirty piece of toilet paper. You may not realize it, but you can do better than a bunch of scavengers!

Wouldn’t you rather be alone than to have friends like those? I wound hope you would.

Real courage and real self-worth sometimes require that you be alone for a while. But let me assure you that it won’t always be this way. Be patient and eventually, the right people will find you. It may not happen quickly, but it will happen. I guarantee it.

It happened for me and it will happen for you too!

0 thoughts on “4 Reasons Why Neediness is Not Only Bad for You, But Also Unattractive and Repelling

  1. janetgzinn says:

    Neediness derives from feelings of deprivation. When the bullied are needy it’s because so many social needs are not only met but are betrayed. It’s so important for those feeling needy to heal wounds and seek ways to be affirmed and bounstered. This can be in songs, online support groups or finding others in different areas. Otherwise, sadly, the needy will be vilified for displaying those needs.

    • cheriewhite says:

      Absolutely, Janet. And this makes me so heartbroken for them. Thank you for this wonderful comment because you just inspired an idea for a future post on neediness and it’s root- deprivation!

  2. Hannah Kristian says:

    I just wanted to add…people who are viewed as “needy” or “clingy” might have anxious attachment styles. There are ways to heal this. Therapy and healthy/safe relationships with secure people help the most.

  3. Lily-Anne says:

    I really liked this post. Everything that you describe is so well detailed. Fortunately I haven’t had the bully aspect of this topic though. It’s more of how I am with my friends.

    I’m constantly striving to not be needy towards my friends anymore.

    At one point I realized that I was more of an inconvenience to them the more I tried to drag them along and eventually they started pulling away. As soon as I stopped being needy, they came back and our friendships are stronger.

    Overall, well done.

    • cheriewhite says:

      I totally agree, Thaaer. Many times, neediness comes from deprivation. However, once you stop being needy, you will be surprised of the untold power that lies behind it. Thank you so much for your thoughts. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *