As we know, bullying is highly traumatic to targets. However, bystanders also suffer a degree of trauma as well, just by witnessing it.
For now, let’s talk about what bullying does to targets, since they’re most affected by it.
Any form of psychological trauma, whether it comes from combat, rape, or bullying, brings about actual changes in the physiology of the brain. It reprograms the brain’s alarm system, causes a sharp increase in stress hormones and activation, and changes the way the brain distinguishes real information from fake information, and the relevant from irrelevant.
Because of these changes and disruptions, people become hypervigilant. And the hypervigilance in some survivors is so bad they aren’t able to function day to day. It’s also the reason why trauma can cause one to repeat the same negative and destructive behaviors over and over again- survivors of trauma have a difficult time learning from experience.
Survivors of bullying who often repeat the same behaviors due to changes in their brains are often accused of being “bad” people – they’re accused of laziness, stubbornness, bad character, and immorality.
Understand that when a person is bullied for long periods of time, it rewires the brain to prepare for a hostile environment and expect hostility from others. This is why targets and survivors of bullying have a difficult time trusting other people.
Targets and survivors of bullying are accused of being lazy when what they’re really dealing with is “learned helplessness” as a result of being bullied and verbally abused repeatedly.
They’re accused of being hotheaded or crazy when they’re actually experiencing the release of pinned up rage from being abused, then being silenced and punished for speaking out about it.
They’re often accused of being defiant and stubborn when they’re actually shutting down.
All this comes from being repeatedly bullied and abused and having no way of fighting back to defend themselves, no way of fleeing the bullies and abusers, and no way of escaping the toxic environment. Learned helplessness comes not only from being bullied and abused repeatedly, but more so, it comes from being trapped and powerless to do anything to better your situation.
For examples: If a group of bullies lock the door of the bathroom or surround the target, blocking any escape, then hold the target down as they attack him/her, this is likely to cause “learned helplessness.”
Or, if the target reports the bullying to the school principal or teacher and they blame him and refuse to give him protection- then the bullies retaliate against him the next day and beat him even more severely for snitching, this also causes “learned helplessness.”
If a battered wife is constantly threatened by her abusive husband that, if she leaves, he will take the children from her, or kill her, or worse, kill her entire family, than she’s trapped with no way out. She is likely to develop “learned helplessness.”
Therefore, it’s not so much the bullying and abuse that causes this condition called “Learned Helplessness.” There have been many abused and bullied people who have escaped their situations and later because highly dependable, healthy, and successful people.
What causes “Learned Helplessness” is the inability to oppose, stand against, or escape bullying and abuse. Being trapped, held down, having no one to turn to for help, or constantly having possible paths of escape blocked, with no other recourse than to take the abuse just to survive- that is what causes “learned helplessness.”
With knowledge comes empowerment!
0 thoughts on “Bullying and Changes in the Brain”
I have to say that bullying does not come with just someone being a troll, it can also happen amongst friends when they think they are joking about something related to you but it really is a subtle form of bullying 🙁
You’re too right! These bullies are the biggest cowards in my book because they don’t have the guts to come out and say it. They’re really quite pathetic.
Yes, I am in complete agreement! I can only hope coming generation is more aware and less dumb!
You and me both. 👍
Great article … thanks for the post.
My pleasure, R.S. And thank you for your kind comment. 😊❤
One line I heard bullies use and it was said to me was, “You will never kick anyone’s ass.”
Wow! If kicking ass was what they thought made them special, then I pity them. Sounds like kicking butt was the only thing they were good at, which isn’t saying much. 😂🤣
It was a ploy to get the target to ‘accept their situation’ and not fight back.
Indeed it was. 💯
Cherie, you are so right about how the bullied have pent up emotions. Mine was anger, I admit it wasn’t easy to break. It has taken me seventeen years and I am still working on it. Of course, some of the progress is the mood stabilizer that I take. I really do not have flare-ups of anger anymore.
I forgive, but I haven’t forgotten. Moving past that is sometimes still a road block. Most of my past is now motivation instead of hindrance. I feel that is the key!
Thank you for your wonderful and open comment, Dwain. Being abused definitely causes a lot of anger later on. It took me years to get over the intense anger I felt even long after the bullying was over. And I’m so glad that you’re recovering from your anger too and are now using what you went through as motivation. There’s nothing that feels better when past adversity becomes a motivator! God bless you, Brother! 🙏🙏🙏