Do you want to know how to spot moments when there’s no apology necessary? Here are the times to never say sorry that every target of bullying should know.
Apologizing for something that doesn’t warrant an apology sets you up for victimization. Why? Because bullies, gaslighters, and abusers will notice it and take full advantage. As someone who’s been there, I’m giving you the things you should never apologize for.
Therefore, you will learn when there’s no apology necessary by knowing exactly what you should never be sorry for.
Once you learn when there’s no apology necessary, you will be better able to counter any bullying or gaslighting that comes your way. Moreover, you will easily shake off any guilt trips your bullies try to put you on.
This post is all about discerning when there’s no apology necessary by learning what to never apologize for.
No apology necessary
Before we get into when not to apologize and what doesn’t warrant an apology, let’s talk about over-apologizing. Also, we’ll go over who is likely to apologize too much, why they do it, and the psychological effects they suffer from it.
Sadly, bullies and abusers program their victims and targets into thinking they should apologize for everything. In other words, evil people try to force their prey to say they’re sorry for things they need not be sorry for. Moreover, bullies coerce victims through threats and trickery.
Understand that the needless apologies targets of bullying give are survival mechanisms. They over apologize in hope that the bullies will be appeased and back off from harming them.
I completely understand and will never fault them for that. As a matter of fact, I’ve been exactly where they are. These victims are only doing what they feel they must do to protect themselves. So, again, this isn’t necessarily their fault.
However, their apologies, in most cases, don’t work and can make the bullying worse.
Also, if targets aren’t careful, they can unwittingly allow themselves to be programmed to over apologize even after the bullying threat has passed. In other words, over-apologizing will become a habit… an automatic response any time they perceive a threat.
As a result, this will only attract more bullies, more abusers, and more abuse.
Let’s delve deeper by describing what happens in the bullied brain. When others bully, abuse, and make you unnecessarily apologize, you develop new neural pathways after so long.
Moreover, these new neural pathways slowly rewire us to become subservient. And the lines between what we should and shouldn’t apologize for become blurred.
So, when is no apology necessary and what are the things you should never apologize for?
1.Your very existence.
You have just as much a right to be here as the next person. Never ever apologize for being in this world. However, understand that there will be those who feel that you don’t have a right to be here and everybody has those people.
Remember that The Lord put you here for a great purpose. You have your space to fill, and you have every right to carve it out.
2. Setting boundaries.
As human beings, we all have unalienable rights endowed by God, one of which is to stand up for those rights. If someone is violating you in any way, you must set boundaries.
You must call them out and make it absolutely clear to them that what they’re doing is wrong. Also, you must let these people know under no uncertain terms that you will not put up with their abuse.
Your boundaries are like an invisible force field that you place around yourself both physically, emotionally, and psychologically. The boundaries you set are what protect you from anyone wanting to disrupt your mental and physical well-being.
Remember that you have a right to personal safety. In other words, you have a right not to be harmed by anyone. You have a right to be drama-free and to live in peace.
Therefore, never be sorry for doing what you must do to protect your peace.
3. No apology necessary for Defending yourself and your loved ones.
This is a part of setting boundaries. If someone is harming you and your loved ones, you have every right to defend yourself and them.
A while back, media outlets were implying that if people of European descent defended themselves against home invasions, robberies, physical harm, and murder; it was wrong because they considered it “white privilege.”
Ahem! No! What this is, is a human right. I
It is a right to protect yourself and loved ones against any threat to yours and their safety. Furthermore, it is human survival and self-preservation.
Everyone has a right to protect themselves from harm, no matter their race or skin color! And you should never feel guilty for defending your right not to be harmed.
Never! You have a God-given right to save your own life! God gave you a brain. Use it!
4. Walking away from drama.
Bullies, abusers, gossips, backstabbers, and troublemakers are people who bring us unnecessary drama. Life’s too short for it.
Anyone who brings you drama doesn’t deserve to be around you. To break it down, they don’t deserve to be in your space, or in your life. Period.
However, when you put your hand up to your bullies, turn your back, and walk away, many of them will try to guilt you for that choice. But, see it for what it is.
The reason bullies guilt you or ridicule you when you walk away and refuse to refuse to their utter buffoonery is because they want to control you.
Again, it’s all about control. And how they control you is to manipulate you into a reaction. Don’t react.
Stay above their pettiness and stupidity. It preserves your peace and drives them up the wall.
Above all, know that you have every right to get up and walk away. Never allow anyone to make you feel guilty for that.
5. no apology necessary for Your successes and accomplishments.
When you’ve worked hard and finally achieved hit a milestone or accomplished a goal, you have a right to be happy about it. Also, anytime you score a win, you have a right to the rewards that come with it.
Moreover, you have a right to enjoy and celebrate the fruits of your labor and your successes.
Many times, jealous, insecure, and resentful people will attempt to make you feel guilty for being successful. Don’t fall for that garbage!
This is not to say that you should let it go to your head and be arrogant. And you shouldn’t let it affect how you treat others.
However, do be pleased about your success, whatever it may be. You have that right.
6. Being who you are.
You are beautifully and wonderfully unique. There is no one else in this world like you nor will there ever be.
Understand that the original is worth so much more than a copy. Don’t be peer-pressured into cheapening yourself by becoming just another copy of someone else
Realize that you will have those in your life, whether at school, work, in the community or in your family who will not like seeing you comfortable in your own skin. There will be people who will hate anyone who has the courage to be themselves and do it fearlessly.
Why? Because you have something they don’t have. And that is the courage to be yourself and the peace of knowing who you are and of loving and accepting yourself. You must realize that fake people become madly jealous when they notice these qualities in another person.
Therefore, let no one make you feel guilty for being who you are- an original!
7. Your happiness.
Happiness comes from within. You, as much as anyone else, deserve your joy. If you’ve done the inner work and found purpose in your life, let no one demand that you apologize for it.
All the while, be forewarned that there will be those who resent your happiness because they’re not happy themselves.
Moreover, they will accuse you of being too full of yourself. They will call you arrogant and overly-confident. Again, stay above these people because they are miserable and want you to be miserable with them.
8. Your lifestyle.
Unless you’re a criminal and your lifestyle is about causing others pain, never apologize for the way you live.
Ways of living that are unapologetic include well-earned affluence, poverty that you can do nothing about, being a single parent, etc. When it comes to these things, people really need to mind their own business.
Furthermore, you have a right to tell them just that if they have the audacity to judge your lifestyle.
To protect your self-esteem and confidence from bullies, abusers, you must be clear on what needs an apology and what doesn’t. Also, you must know who you are and what you will not accept or tolerate from other people.
With this knowledge, you have a powerful weapon with which to preserve your self-esteem and, thus, your personal power and your life.
this post was all about when to decide when there’s no apology necessary to help you raise your self-esteem, Feel better about yourself, and either preserve or reclaim your personal power.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices
2. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps
3. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground
