Tag: toxic learning environment

School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids!

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‘Want to know about school choice and why it’s a godsend if people bully you or your child at school? Here are the reasons school choice is essential for bullied children and teens.

school choice

School Choice is an absolute must for bullied children and teens. Without it, targets would be stuck in a school that hates them.

Moreover, they’d be trapped in a cycle of bullying and abuse with no way to escape. Also, the bullies would be even further emboldened because they would know that their targets couldn’t get away.

It’s a dark side of human nature that, if bullies know you’re trapped, they have a strong sense of glee and become more brazen. Then there’s no limit to how far they’ll take the abuse.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about school choice. In that, you’ll find out that, if you’re one of those unfortunate children and teens who suffer severe bullying at school, there is a way out. In other words, you have an escape available.

Once you learn all of this important information, you will be excited. Also, you’ll want to tell your parents and they’ll be more compelled to take the next step to transfer you to a safer and healthier school, where you can flourish!

So, what is school choice?

It is a program that allows families to use public money to access schools beyond their local school district. This includes private schools and, in some areas, home school options.

In other words, school choice is about giving families the ability to choose which schools to send their children to whether or not they can afford it.

This is a beacon of hope for bullied children! Why?

It’s because school choice would give kids the right to choose the school they want to attend regardless of their zip code. However, as of now, zoning legalities trap bullied kids in toxic learning environments.

They keep bullied victims stuck in schools, where their cries for help go ignored by school officials. Moreover, they must endure under the thump of adults who only refuse to acknowledge that they have a culture of bullying at their beloved schools.

These school staff members sweep incidences under the rug and hide evidence of bullying (like camera footage) from parents. Also, they take sides with the bullies, blaming targeted kids for abuse they suffer at the hands of their classmates.

School choice would allow a bullied child easier transfer.

School Choice Vouchers.

The state gives these parents vouchers, which are redeemable in the same amount the state funds the schools per child. Therefore, the parents can take their bullied child out of the dangerous school and, with the voucher, send them to a safe school.

The awesome part is that their child will finally be able to escape the bullies of the old school and start fresh at a new, safe school with a clean slate. Moreover, they will be able to put their best foot forward and make friends at the new school.

Most importantly, they will likely learn better and flourish there. As a result, grades and class performance will skyrocket!

However, teacher’s Unions are dead set against it. But why?

Here are a few reasons:

1. Teachers and schools get funding for each child in attendance per day.

This means that schools will have to compete for these children. No school district likes it when bullied children leave because, with each child who transfers out, they lose funding.

Therefore, sadly, schools tend to care more about the funding than they do the children in this day and  time. And they care even less about the children if they’re victims of bullying.

2. Teachers Unions Oppose School Choice. Why? Because they want to monopolize students and don’t want the competition.

Teacher’s unions have the same attitude. Again, school Choice would give schools and teachers competition for students, and therefore, state funds. Money does corrupt.

3. The handful of bad apples in the educational field (i.e. bullying teachers and school officials may not admit it, but they don’t want to lose their power and control over bullied children.

And if these children start switching schools, bullying school officials will no longer have power over these kids. Therefore, they will need to search for other targets even if they must eat their own. It’s just how bullies are. It’s all about power.

Every child deserves the right to attend a school in which they feel safe. Moreover, they deserve to learn in a school that values them as human beings.

They also deserve to attend a school where they can finally have dignity and respect. And they deserve to learn in an environment where they can grow and flourish without any disruptions.

There are entirely too many special interest groups who wish to squash school choice. In other words, they would rather monopolize our children and grandchildren.

Again, this is all about having power over bullied kids and lining their pockets. It only goes to show that, in the minds of school officials, money and power take priority over the safety and security of children and teens.

This must stop…yesterday!

4. School Choice: Schools tend to take it personally when bullied kids transfer out.

I’ve heard and read stories from parents who’ve transferred their children. The people in the community begin mistreating them for either sending their children to schools outside the community or homeschooling them.

In other words, because these families went against “the system,” the locals either harassed or ostracized them. In worse cases, truancy officers have paid these families visits, even though their child was in a school in another town.

Therefore, it isn’t uncommon for school districts to retaliate against parents who take advantage of the School Choice Program. And if the child in question was bullied in the former school and had their reputations ruined because if it, all the worse.

Therefore, this should tell you that this is all about trying to keep power over the child and the family.

Nevertheless, if your child endures bullying at school, do take advantage of the program.

In other words, fight for the safety of your child even if the school district throws everything and the kitchen sick at you. Expect to get push back from them.

But know that your child is worth it. And I promise you that they will thank you for it later. And why not? By transferring them out of a toxic school, you saved them years of suffering at school.

On the other hand, if victims of bullying aren’t allowed to leave a toxic school, they only suffer day by day.

Without school choice, the psychological impact on victims will be devastating.

Victims of bullying will continue to go to school in fear rather than with the excitement of learning. Their grades will plummet because they’ll be too busy looking over their shoulders rather than concentrating on schoolwork.

Each year, bullied victims die either by their own hand, or at the hands of their bullies because they’re stuck in a school that ignores their cries for help. Also, those that maintain their will to live go through school in fear and struggle with large amounts of mental and physical stress.

Moreover, the constant living in survival mode will exhaust them, which is another reason their academic performance will suffer. Who can learn when they’ll constantly having to fight their way through school?

Most families simply cannot afford to move to a new town. Moreover, they don’t have the funds to transfer their bullied children out of toxic schools and into safe schools where they can learn in peace.

However, school choice would make the transfer of bullied children to safer schools possible. With school choice, bullied children and teens everywhere would have the opportunity to escape their bullies and move on to better learning environments where they can thrive, grow, and flourish!

What School Officials must focus on

Therefore, school boards and teachers’ unions need to stop thinking only about themselves and begin thinking about the welfare of the kids. Moreover, they need to focus on protecting bullied children regardless of what it may do to their pocketbooks.

Just as we would take an abused child out of an abusive home, we should also provide the option of school choice to take bullied kids out of schools with a culture of bullying. It won’t just save them years of pain and the probability of having to look back on a traumatic school experience, it could also save their lives!

This post is all about school choice and why it’s essential for bullied children and teens. Moreover, It’s about the awesome benefits it offers all children whose families take advantage of it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy;

1. Bullying is Abuse: 9 Ways Bullying and Abuse are The Same

2. Bullying Culture: When Bullying is the Status Quo

3. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

4. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

5. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

bullying culture at work

Bullying Culture: When Bullying is the Status Quo

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‘Want to know whether your school or workplace has a bullying culture? Here are all the things you should watch for.

bullying culture

Schools, workplaces, and even communities with a bullying culture can make for environments that are toxic and foster a sense of danger. In these kinds of environments, people tend to operate under the “laws of the jungle.”

The mentality is that “might makes right” and that you can only attain power through the use of brute force. Moreover, these toxic environments can negatively impact not only your mental health but your physical health as well.

In this post, you will learn how to read the environment and recognize whether you’re in a toxic environment with a culture of bullying.

Once you learn all the bad signs, you will be able to decide what measures you must take to keep yourself safe and if you even want to remain in this type of environment.

This post is all about bullying culture and how to recognize it so that you can take steps to better protect yourself.

Bullying Culture

Schools, workplaces, and communities that have this type of culture are places where people accept bullying. In other words, they consider it a normal part of life.

Moreover, the torment of a particular person can become status quo or habit­ with classmates because it has already gone unchecked. If you’re this “particular person,” know that you are in danger and should take steps to leave the environment.

You must go someplace new, where you can start fresh and be safe. I’ll explain further as we go.

In toxic places, the bullying of a certain individual is like a cancer that grows and spreads. In other words, like cancer, it always starts out small.

How It Progresses

The Early Stages:

For example, a bully scans the environment, seeking whom he can torment. When they spots a potential victim, they test the waters by way of small, snarky comments, backhanded or compliments.

They will take tiny nibbles at you, which are so subtle, they’ll be unnoticeable to others. However, they’ll make you feel uncomfortable.

Therefore, realize that bullies do this to see how you react. If you do nothing, the bullies will only see this as a green light to continue bullying you. This is when they will select you as their target.

Bullies then put the word out that you’re an easy target. Word soon spreads throughout the entire school, company, or community that you’re ripe for bullying. Therefore, a few others will join in.

Bullying Culture:

However, heed this warning!

If others continue bullying you over a certain amount of time, without repercussions, the abuse will become the status quo.

Even in as little time as short as a few weeks, it will likely become customary for these people to bully you.  And once it becomes the status quo, it’s almost impossible to defend yourself without encountering a ton of resistance and reprisals.

Therefore, the trick is to stand up for yourself immediately. You must do it before people grow accustomed to tormenting you because once they do, it’s likely too late.

For example, people have bullied you for years. You finally get fed up, put your foot down, and stand up to your bullies. The abuse has gotten out of control and now, you refuse to bow down any longer.

One of your bullies takes it as a challenge and physically attacks you, only for you to beat the living hell out of them.

However, instead of accepting that you beat the crap out of them and going away, the bullies are outraged! They can’t accept that they got punked by someone they thought was inferior to them.

Therefore, they plot to re-enforce their power by retaliating. Not only do they want to re-enforce their dominance, they also have an insatiable desire to punish you severely.

How dare you! How dare you challenge their authority over you! This is the prevailing thought.

Bullying Culture

Middle Stages:

As time goes by, the torment you endure becomes more of a regular, everyday occurrence. Therefore, more and more people will assume that it’s okay to bully you.

You’ll notice that the taunts and verbal bullying grow more severe until they morph into physical attacks. Once this happens, others will become more and more brutal with their violence.

For example, they make begin with tripping you or running into you “accidentally on purpose.” The next thing you know, they are shoving you against the wall or to the floor.

After this goes on for a week or two, people begin punching and kicking you. Then, once they get bored with doing this, they graduate to brutally beating and choking you.

Thus, the attacks become harder to combat.

At the same time, the bullies and everyone else employ smear campaigns and set you up to get into trouble with authority.

Sadly, this set the stage for TDS, target derangement syndrome or you could call it VDS (victim derangement syndrome. Why, because, by this stage, everyone fosters a sick hatred for you.

Therefore, you have difficulty getting help and protecting yourself.

Again, heed this warning! Any time bullying is allowed to continue, it becomes a habit- a ritual. In other words, people get used to seeing it.

Therefore, when you muster up the spunk to say or do anything to assert, defend, or stand up for yourself, you are going against a status quo.

And once you dare to go against any status quo, you had better prepare yourself for an all-out war!

This is why the best time to defend yourself is during the early stages!

Bullying Culture

Late Stages:

The bullying has now become a ritual. In other words, people habitually bully you and have internal motivations to do so.

Moreover, they feel that bullying you brings a positive effect (on them). Put another way, they may think that abusing you is for the good of the school, workplace or community.

Therefore, the violence has become the status quo in the environment. Others refuse to help you because bullies have discredited you.

Moreover, the long-term abuse you have suffer has desensitize everyone else. Some openly enjoy seeing people persecute you. Also, because of the smear campaigns, they hold the widely-spread belief that you’re trouble. Yet, they don’t know how or why?

The prevailing thought is, “Well, no one likes you anyway, so there has to be some justification to it.”.

Therefore, they have set the power dynamic firmly put in place and they do desperate things to maintain the status quo.

Bullying Culture

Late-Late Stages:

In this stage, it’s almost impossible to defend yourself. Why? Because you’ve waited too long. Therefore, your bullies are comfortable with abusing you and bystanders have grown comfortable with seeing it.

You are a victim! And people refuse to see you as anything but.

When you become a victim, others either consciously or subconsciously expect you to stay one. They expect you to put your head down and take the abuse.

In other words, if you even attempt to grow a spine, they will do everything in their power to break it.

This is because any semblance of change frightens bullies, as it does most people. What frightens bullies the most is a change in the power dynamic which has long been set.

They want you to stay a victim because, “it’s just the way things are done here.”.  Also, bullies benefit from victimizing you. Therefore, and they don’t want to lose those benefits.

The advantages can be social status, gratification, satisfaction, or entertainment.

Furthermore, people come to believe that they have a right to abuse you. Moreover, they believe that they have absolute authority over you. Therefore, they feel entitled to inflict misery on you.

In the mind of a bully, you don’t have the right to undermine, nor question their power and authority. Therefore, you should just shut your mouth and take it.

Sadly, it is in this stage that you either live in misery, get murdered, leave the environment, or takes your own life.

In Conclusion:

I hope that you choose to leave the environment and go someplace where you can start fresh, heal, and begin rebuilding your life.

Therefore, this bears repeating. You absolutely MUST address it early on, as soon as you begin to see a pattern forming. Do not make the same mistake many do and let it get so bad that you either fear for, or want to end your own life.

Here’s another thing to consider. If the bullying has gone on too long and you’ve tried standing up for your rights to no avail. It’s probably time to find a way to leave the environment. Granted, this may not be feasible. However, it might be the only way for you to finally be safe.

This is an absolute must!

This post was all about bullying culture, how you recognize it and what you must do to ensure your safety. Also, the purpose of this post is to instill in you the importance of taking action during the early stages.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Non Verbal Bullying: Hostile Body Language Head to Toe

2. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

3. The 4 Stages of Bullying

4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

5. Asserting Boundaries: The Pros Outweigh the Cons

Bullied Kids Embracing the Suck

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Embracing The Suck

Life circumstances can sometimes trap young targets of bullying in a school that hates them. It’s easier to get out of a toxic environment when you’re an adult target bullied at work. you can transfer, and if you can’t transfer, you can always quit. However, when you’re a minor, it’s almost impossible. What if your family cannot afford to move to a new school district? Also, what if your parents refuse to move or to transfer you? What if your parents can’t afford to home-school you?

There’s nothing worse than being stuck in a toxic environment and in a horrible situation. When everyone in the school is bullying you and there’s no way of escaping it, it’s the feeling of entrapment! Just imagine finding yourself in this situation and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it! You can’t get away from it! You’re just stuck there!

So, What Do You Do?

You embrace the suck. Embracing the suck means that you just grin and bear it. You just accept the god-awful, crappy mess that plagues your life because there’s no other choice. In other words, you’re just plain screwed and there’s no way out of it. You decide to live with it and  make peace with the possibility that things may not get any better. And yes, it sucks!

Sadly, targeted kids are stuck in schools with a toxic culture of bullying. Other classmates attack these kids daily. They attack them psychologically and physically. Teachers and principals view these children unfavorably because bullies have them convinced that the targets are the instigators. Therefore, school staff are constantly watching these young targets, waiting for a reason to drag them into the principal’s office.

These kids suffer from plummeting grades and poor school performance because circumstances force them to live in survival mode. Why? Because preparing for a hostile learning environment takes priority over studying and learning. Therefore, school staff see them as lazy and hopeless and refuse to give them the extra help they need.

Gee! That’s an awful lot of suck!

And how much suck can one child deal with?

Understand that if you’re a child dealing with these types of circumstance, you don’t have to just “embrace the suck.” There’s always School Choice. Nowadays, families can apply for vouchers that allow them to transfer their child to a new school. These vouchers have saved countless targets from years of toxicity. Also, there are other things you can do if, by chance, School Choice isn’t an option where you live:

  • document the bullying and have your parent or legal guardian help you with your documentation.
  • Also, depending on the jurisdiction you live in, hide a body cam or digital device in your backpack or on your person.
  • Thirdly, practice self-care.

And keep the faith. School Choice may not be available in your area now but it doesn’t mean it won’t be later.

You are not completely powerless. Do the above three things because they are the things you have control over. When you document and record the bullying, and practice self-care, not only is it probable that you’ll change the dynamic, but you’ll feel so much better about yourself. You will also feel that you have, at least, some control.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

How Bullying Negatively Affects The Targets Performance in School

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As we all should know, bullying can have a devastating effect on grades and class performance. Here’s how:

Anytime you are a victim of bullying, you are forcibly put on constant alert for an attack. It feels as if you have a target on your back and you must grow eyes in the back of your head. You become hyper-vigilant, which breeds anxiety and leads to exhaustion. Not only is the body tired, but also the mind.

When so much focus must be placed on ways to protect yourself and maintain dignity, safety takes priority over studying lessons. How can one concentrate on schoolwork when they’re constantly bombarded with threats, taunts, name-calling, and physical violence? How can a student study and learn effectively when the mind is tired from being stuck in what seems to be a never-ending fight-or-flight mode? It’s almost impossible!

I can tell you this because it happened to me.

In my book, “From Victim to Victor”, I talk about having been on the honor roll before I began attending school in *Oakley (The school I was bullied in). I also talk about the transfer to *Roseburg High School during my senior year and how my grades skyrocketed overnight! After leaving that toxic learning environment and moving to a new school, my grades went from ‘C’s and ‘D’s to all ‘A’s with maybe one ‘B’. I made honor roll again for the first time in five long years!

Here is an excerpt from my book, “From Victim to Victor”, which explains things a little deeper:

bullied victim tortured

“…when anyone, even the most logical and rational of anyone is under a large amount of stress over a long period of time, the glucocorticoids that have flooded the brain and body for so long will cause the atrophy of areas responsible for memory, emotional regulation and ability to maintain positive relationships…”

Therefore, should it be any wonder that the majority of victims of bullying have such poor grades and class performance?

Second, after being told repeatedly and for so long that they don’t and never will amount to anything, victims begin to believe it themselves. A condition, known as “Learned Helplessness” develops and victims simply stop trying altogether.

In conclusion, bullying can affect ALL areas of a victim’s life. Not just social, but academics and achievements as well.

(*Not the real name of the town.)

Bullying and Social Proof

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We may not realize it, but we sell ourselves to the public every day. From making new friends to finding a date, we sell ourselves- putting our best foot forward to impress others and show them our best sides, and we do this unconsciously, without even thinking about it. We give the illusion that we’re a hot item because we instinctively know that it’s what everyone loves and is attracted to, and we’re afraid of not being accepted.

“Social proof (also known as an informational social influence) is a psychological and social phenomenon where people assume the actions of others in an attempt to reflect correct behavior in a given situation.”

Put more plainly; we tend to do what we think everyone else is doing, to follow the pack, to join the bandwagon, to get in on the next big thing, whether it be the new, hot fashion trend, a breakout musical group, anything that’s extremely popular with others!

For example, a few decades ago, Cabbage Patch Kids were a hot item! Everybody had a cabbage patch kid- I had one myself. And anytime there’s a hot item that’s “all the rage,” everyone clamors to have it!

It’s the same in the social arena. Everyone wants to hang with the “cool” crowd. Although this crowd may or may not be what you’d consider cool and might be the opposite of, others perceive them to be and want to hang with them, so you want to hang with them. Therefore, you want to do what they’re doing. Unfortunately, it’s also the same with bullying.

With bullying in school or the workplace, if everyone else is bullying you, you can be sure that total strangers who have never met you and even your friends will (if they haven’t already) also try to bully you. Why? Because “everyone else is doing it” and they want to join the in-crowd!

But know that when this happens, it has nothing to do with you and in no way means that you somehow deserve it or did anything wrong. What it means is that most people are followers and drones- sheep! They’re slaves to the prospect of fitting in with the majority.


In essence, bullying you has become a ritual with them—the in-thing to do at your school or your employment place.

The more you know about the psychology of bullies, the better you prepare, and the better you’ll feel. Sometimes, just knowing the truth is enough to make you feel better.