‘Want to know the bullying tactics bullies use? Here are all the methods bullies use that you need to know.
Bullies aren’t always so obvious and they don’t always use physical violence. Many seasoned bullies use psychological, emotional, social, and spiritual bullying tactics that go undetected.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the techniques they use, even the subtle ones so that you can easily call it out by name and protect yourself.
Once you learn all about these bullying methods, you will be better able to see through them, speak out about them, and bully-proof yourself.
This post is all about all the bullying tactics so that you have the knowledge you need to defend yourself from even the most subtle attacks.
Bullying Tactics
1. Relational aggression (Sometimes Called Social Aggression)
Smear Campaigns
Since the beginning of time, bullies of all ages and backgrounds have always employed the smear campaign as their weapon of choice. Why? Simple. Because they work.
This is why the smear campaign is THE top most used bullying tactic of all. It’s employed by not only bullies against you, but many politicians against their opponents. Moreover, people with NPD use them against their victims.
Also, domestic abusers use them against their partners and dictators against anyone who dissents.
Smears always start subtly. Bullies start rumors by dropping a suggestion. Therefore, all it takes is one little rumor- just one! Because people will want to believe it.
Consequently, if enough people buy into a smear, it will become the truth even if it is a bald-faced lie. And there’s no getting away from public opinion no matter how false or unjustified it is.
Therefore, bullies destroy you by making things up, leaking info they hear, or spreading ideas.
Next, the bullies will fade into the background because they know that everything is likely to stick. They’ve done their part, and now they can sit back and let the rumor mill do the rest.
It shouldn’t be so easy, but sadly, it is.
As the rumors and lies spread from person to person, the bigger they get until they sound so bizarre and outlandish they’d be fit for a horror movie.
Moreover, once the rumors get around, your friends will no longer believe you to be right. They’ll only think you’re a thorn in the side with a big mouth. By the time bullying is underway, your reputation is no longer clean.
If they can’t control you, they will control what others think of you.
2. Bullying tactics:
Redundancy – Repeating the Same Lies
Have you noticed how bullies tend to repeat the same personal attacks over and over again? It’s as if they’re going by a script!
Like Josef Goebbels said, “a lie repeated a thousand times becomes truth.
However, luckily for you, this can also backfire on the bullies and have the opposite effect. It can become boring.
In other words, the attacks can go on for so long, they become so boring that they actually lose their effect. Why?
Because, instead of tapering off once the attacks give them the desired outcome, the bullies only increase them.
They make this mistake trying to make sure that the rumors stick. Put simpler, bullies repeat the same garbage because their afraid others will forget how disgusting you are.
Therefore, they repeat the same tired, worn-out narratives and they end up losing support. Hence, it backfires right in their faces.
Therefore, let them repeat, repeat, repeat until they shoot themselves in the foot!
3. Use your friends against you.
First, let me say this. If your friends are allowing themselves to be used by your bullies aren’t friends at all. What they are, is a bunch of scumbags!
Therefore, treat them accordingly.
The reason your bullies may use them against you is because your friends likely know details about you that others aren’t privy to.
So, how do bullies weaponize your friends?
- They have them ask you questions
- They have them stick extra close to you.
- They have them go through your belongings when you aren’t around.
- They have them hawk your social media profiles and pages.
Therefore, it’s best to ditch these friends and find better ones.
4. Bullying tactics: Barking orders
When bullies order you around, they do it for power and to make you look like a wimp. Moreover they deny your equality and autonomy.
Instead of respectfully asking for what they want you, your bullies only give orders as if you’re a subordinate. Proverbially, this is how bullies claim ownership of you.
Understand that no one has the right to give you orders other than your boss, teachers or your parents. Therefore, if a classmate or coworker steps over the line and barks an order, you tell them, “I don’t take orders.”
The trick is to counter the order. It’s the only way to maintain your autonomy, self-esteem and keep feeling good about yourself.
5. Putting you on the defense
That’s right. And bullies will do it purposefully and for a reason. They put you on the defense to make you look “defensive” because they know that defensiveness makes a person look either guilty or cr*zy.
Later, they provoke you into a fight and tell everyone else, “See? What did I tell you?”
This is also called, “baiting” because, essentially, they bait you into a fight.
Therefore, when bullies make such predictions, take it as a warning. And it should warn you that your bullies are about to pull some shady stuff on you and that you need to watch out.
It should tell you that what is really happening is that your bullies are the ones plotting to provoke you into a physical altercation.
In other words, while the bullies are making such wild predictions about you, they’re setting everything up to happen exactly how they’re predicting. But why?
So they can turn around and say, “See? We told you so! If so and so wasn’t guilty, they wouldn’t be denying and explaining it so vehemently!
Realize that this kind of deception is easy to pull off. It shouldn’t work but it does!
Therefore, it pays to recognize when bullies unknowingly give themselves away. Then call it out by saying,
“With that statement, you just busted yourselves, and you’re too st*pid to realize it.” And say it without elaborating on it any further.
6. Bullying Tactics: Giving Unsolicited advice
Bullies are good at giving unsolicited advice, even through they despise it when the shoe is on the other foot.
Therefore, they freely advise you on how think, act, or feel under any circumstances. What bullies are best at is telling you how you should react to the very abuse they inflict. These morons have a lot of nerve, don’t they?
However, I want you to understand why bullies do this. Bullies give unsolicited advice because it serves them to do so.
How does it serve them, you may ask? It does so by giving their audience the impression that they know more and are more qualified than you.
In other words, bullies don’t give advice to help you. They give it to help themselves– to look cute and like they’re smarter than you.
Therefore, if you don’t know why bullies do it nor how to counter it, it can chip away at your self-esteem. So, what are ways that you can counter some smartass who gives you advice you didn’t ask for?
How do you counter it?
You counter this by having a clear understanding that the weight another person’s opinion carries depends on their relationship with you. Or, at least, it should.
Put another way, the people who are the closest to you and whom you feel closest to are those whose opinions you should value the most. These are the people who love and care for you the most- your parents, grandparents, your spouse- your dearest family and friends.
In contrast, the opinions of any bullies, fake friends, anyone who uses and abuses you, should carry the least weight. Therefore, you don’t need a bully’s cheap two cents worth!
Never give value to anything that has none. In other words, stop giving undue value to the opinions of those who aren’t worth your consideration.
7. Bullying Tactics: Asking Gotcha Questions
Not only are politicians notorious for asking gotcha-questions, but bullies are also infamous for asking them. What are gotcha-questions, you may ask?
Gotcha-questions are questions that put you in a bad light no matter how you respond to them or if you respond to them at all. These are the types of questions bullies will usually ask you in public, in front of an audience.
Gotcha-questions are forms of entrapment because bullies use them to trap you into looking bad to others.
Here are examples of Gotcha-Question bullying tactics:
“Hey, Jeff, do your friends know you got arrested the other day?”
This question says that Jeff did get arrested. It implies that he is a criminal and assumes that he was arrested whether his friends know it or not. If Jeff answers yes, it means that he’s a criminal and his friends know about it. If he answers no, it still means that Jeff is a criminal, only that none of his friends knows.
These types of questions are “gotchas” because they are closed-ended questions that leave no room for the truth.
“Tabitha, did you ever get help for your alcoholism?”
By asking this question, the asker is calling Tabitha an alc*holic without directly calling her one. It’s a slick way for the asker to attack her.
A yes means that Tabitha was “a drunk” in the past. On the other hand, a no implies that Tabitha is still a “boozehound.” And that’s what people will think.
Furthermore, if she responds by saying, “I’ve never had a drinking problem,” it would sound like a cover-up. Why? Because others would wonder why anyone would ask such a question if they weren’t privy to such private information? It implies that the asker knows information that hasn’t been available to anyone else.
Here are a few healthy responses to such questions:
“You’re wasting your time with the gotcha-questions because they don’t work on me.”
“You need to quit with the gotcha-questions. I know what you’re trying to do. You’re fooling no one.”
The trick here is to call the person out by calling the questions what they are. And when you do, do it as intelligently as possible. It may or may not save your good name, but you’ll feel good knowing that you called it out without allowing the bully to throw you off balance. And sometimes, that’s enough.
8. Bullying Tactics: Insulting questions
“Why are you so r*tarded, arrogant, ignorant, etc.)?
Understand that these questions aren’t really questions. They’re only accusations made in the form of questions.
Bullies are notorious for asking their targets rhetorical questions, which are questions designed to illicit a dramatic effect and to make a point, not necessarily to get an answer.
In other words, these questions are only innuendo.
They insinuate the target’s perceived lack of intelligence, sarcastic attitude, indifference, refusal to listen to reason, obnoxiousness, uselessness, or worthlessness.
The best way to counter these questions is to come back with something sarcastic. Here are some snappy answers to the above questions:
“Why are you so st*pid?”
“Maybe it’s because I lose a few million brain cells every time I hear you speak.”
“Why are you such a smart-ass?”
“Gee! Maybe it’s because morons like you bring it out in me.”
“Why are you so r*tarded?”
“Because listening to the trash that comes out of your mouth would make anyone r*tarded.”
“Why are you such a loser?”
“Maybe because I’ve been around you too long and it’s rubbing off on me.”
Always counter with sarcasm! Bullies’ hate being made a fool of and I guarantee that answers with some burn will take the wind out of their sails.
9. Bullying Tactics: Body Language
Threatening body language can be any physical gesture, such as dirty looks, invading your personal space, or touching your things.
How you stand up to this is to return the dirty look or tell them to get out of your personal space. You can also tell them to stop touching your belongings.
This may or may not change their behavior. However, you’ll feel great just knowing that you stood up to the creeps.
This post was all about the subtler forms of bullying tactics so that you can recognize them and respond appropriately.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Examples of Non Verbal Bullying
2. Acceptance and Tolerance: 5 Best Ways to Know the Difference
5. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You