Bullying and First Impressions

April 12, 2025April 17, 20252 Comments

‘Want to know about bullying and first impressions? Here’s why first impressions can determine whether you become a target victim of bullying.

I cannot tell you how important first impressions are. Down through the ages, many have said that first impressions last forever and that you never get a second chance at it. They were right!

In other words, first impressions often determine whether or not bullies find you as a good target.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying and first impressions and the reasons first impressions often lead to bullying.

Once you learn all about this game-changing information, you will be able to see the relation between the two and make a better first impression the next time you move to a new job, school, or community.

This post is all about bullying and first impressions and how they connect so that you will have the tools to protect yourself from bullying… before it happens to you.

Bullying and First Impressions

Bullies need victims! And, believe it or not, first impressions can determine whether people in a new environment accept you or bully you. Let’s use scenarios and examples to elaborate on this.

New Kid in Town

For instance, you move to a new town and new school where nobody knows you. Your dad just got out of the military and you’ve lived all over the world. Therefore, your family decides to settle in the town Dad lived in before he left for basic training.

The town you move to is a small town in a small district with small schools. You begin middle school in this small town. Therefore, you’re the new kid in town.

You’re the person who no one knows. Naturally, this makes you a little nervous.

During the first few weeks, you make a terrible first impression on your new classmates. Moreover, you do it without even realizing it. Another thing that you don’t know is that you’re going to pay for it for the next 5 years.

It isn’t your fault. After all, you’re only thirteen years old and you’ve lived a comfortable life as a military kid. And the life of a military brat is much different than living life as a civilian in a small town.

You’re navigating completely new terrain now.

Bullying and First Impressions:

Fresh Meat to Local Bullies

You’re friendly to everyone. Maybe a little too friendly. Other than a few incidences of harmless teasing, you’ve had no issues at any of the other schools you attended before. So, there’s no reason not to trust people.

However, you’ve caught the eyes of a group of local bullies and they seem to watch every move you make. The bullies approach you on your first day at the new school. They ask you questions and some of those questions don’t feel good.

You only answer the questions you feel comfortable with, trying to be polite. However, you notice that the bullies approach you again, later that week. Moreover, the bullies threw a few subtle taunts your way.

But you only ignore it and walk away. As the weeks turn into a month, the taunts grow more frequent and less subtle.

However, you continue to blow these creeps off, ignore them, and walk away. Also, you try to make friends with the other students because you don’t want to be the lone wolf.

A Bad First Impression

There’s your first mistake. You didn’t stand up for yourself when these creeps began bullying you. In fact, you didn’t even respond. You only ignored it and walked away.

However, being the new kid, you’re afraid of getting in trouble with school staff. Also, you’ve been taught by your parents that decent young ladies don’t fight.

However, everyone else is already socially established here. You’re an outsider. Therefore, they don’t want your friendship.

The bullies notice this too.

Bullying and First Impressions:

The Bullying Continues to Escalate.

Here’s your second mistake. Being overly friendly! And because you’re so friendly, the other kids mistake you for being a fool. The bullies see your kindness as weakness. To them, it looks like you’re seeking approval.

You may make a few so-called friends. However, they aren’t true friends. They only allow you in their group because they only feel sorry for you. Or worse, they may do it to pump you for information with which to report back to the bullies.

Another month passes and now, your bullies are verbally assaulting you. They begin accusing you of things you know nothing about.

Next, they start threatening to beat you up. Therefore, you try talking your way out of confrontations. Or worse, you begin lying your way out. But where does that get you?

Your third mistake is that you cry easily. To your sadistic classmates, this is another sign that you’re weak. To others, it’s a sign of manipulation.

You catch on to this rather quickly. Therefore it does take you long to change these behaviors and learn to mask them. However, it’s a little late for that.

Once A precedent has been set, it’s too late to change course.

Throughout your first year, the bullying slowly intensifies. Your bullies soon grow bored with the verbal attacks and begin what you would call borderline physical attacks.

They may start by “accidentally” running or bumping into you in the hallways. Next, they’ll begin tripping you as you’re walking by.

Once they get bored with that, they move on to more obvious physical assaults. Your bullies (and maybe others) begin shoving you. The shoving then progresses to hitting, kicking, and punching.

Finally, you suffer brutal beatings by bullies and their new followers. Moreover, a few others who normally don’t bully join in.

During your first year at your new school, you’ve just gone through the first three stages of bullying. But you finish your first year and get a reprieve when summer arrives.

Bullying and First Impressions:

Others who wouldn’t normally bully anyone begin to join in.

Before long, your bullies begin signaling to the rest of the school that you’re easiest to bully. They recruit bystanders to unite with them and join in the torment. And they this through rumors, accusations, and smear campaigns.

Moreover, they also threaten anyone who associates with you. And, one by one, others begin turning against you. Even those kind kids who normally wouldn’t bully anyone.

As time goes by, more and more people turn their backs on you until you have no support system left.

Now, you have become radioactive. In other words, no one wants to associate with you because they know they’ll be next if they do.

Therefore, to ensure their own reputations don’t take a hit, everyone avoids you altogether. Even worse, they become willing participants in the attacks. These kids become secondary bullies.

The Second Year, Bullies Pick Up Where They Left Off.

By the second year, you’ve passed to the eighth grade. You’ve had the summer to heal and reflect on what you could’ve done differently to keep bullies away.

Therefore, this year, you’ve toughened up considerably. But, by now, the dynamic has already been set and firmly in place.

The physical bullying then escalates to a climax. People seem to be standing in line, waiting on their turn to have a boxing match with you.

Though you’ve begun fighting back to defend yourself, you don’t earn respect for it. Instead, people only become outraged and resent you for it. Why? Because they’ve grown comfortable with abusing you.

And once people get comfortable with abusing you, they’ll only double down on it when you stand up to them.

As a result, you get involved in many fights. Just trying to defend yourself and keep from getting hurt! Consequently, the number of physical altercations causes teachers and staff to label you a troublemaker.

Teachers and school staff label you “a problem.”

Others have bullied you for so long, they’ve grown comfortable with it. In fact, they’ve grown so accustomed to being cruel that they don’t have to think about it. It becomes the knee-jerk action every time they see you.

Moreover, bullies and their recruits may go home and tell their families horrible lies and rumors about you. The family members then spread the word to the people they know at work, the supermarket, etc.

Next, the coworkers, friends, and extended family members pass it on to their families. As a result, the lies about you spread throughout the entire community.

Thus, they completely decimate your reputation. And everyone meets your reputation before getting the chance to meet you.

Understand that people do this deliberately to create a toxic environment for you. In other words, they lay the groundwork for an environment that doesn’t allow you to receive support, make new friends, nor rise above bullying.

Finally, any opportunities you may have had are severely limited or lost completely.

Bullying and First Impressions:

When Bullying Becomes Mobbing

Bullying becomes mobbing when it reaches the late stage! The abuse has snowballed into a dangerous situation.

At this stage, you are at the mercy of every one. Also, bullies face no accountability. And when there’s no accountability for abuse, there are no limits to it.

Therefore, people can now escalate the abuse at will. This is the stage that bullying has become life-threatening.

Everyone in the community hates you. These people want nothing more than to see you suffer. The “good people” of the community have no idea why they hate you. Moreover, they’ll never be able to tell you exactly what you did to deserve it.

Therefore, all they know is that they loathe you and have an intense desire to destroy you.

Furthermore, people expect you the take the abuse because they think you deserve it. Any attempts to defend yourself will only bring more outrage.

In fact, they won’t even allow you to question the abuse. Talking back to them when they verbally attack you only leads to physical retaliation.

Any self-defense will only bring outrage.

Also, talking about the bullying to people outside the dynamic gets back to your bullies. And they retaliate by physical means.

Standing up to your persecutors, won’t get them to leave you alone. Moreover, people who’ve never met you wish to attack you. It becomes a case of “you don’t know me, but I know you.”

This stage is the most dangerous because everyone around you becomes deranged. Also, they get so emboldened that they don’t try to hide their hatred anymore.

And why not? They’ve gotten away with their abuse for so long. They know they have no incentive to stop the attacks.

This is why bullying and first impressions are interconnected. And it’s important to make the best first impression you can possibly make. Sometimes, that means standing up to bullies the first time they try anything funny!

Bullying and First Impressions:

Why Standing Up to Bullies Doesn’t Work in The Late Stages

Why is that? Because, by then, people have grown so accustomed to abusing you. Therefore, any self-defense on your part takes them out of their comfort zones.

People love their comfort zones and they’ll do anything to stay in them. Therefore, they’ll only retaliate when you stand up to their bullshit.

And you’ll end up fighting a constant battle which will wear you down.

If you’re a kid in school and you’re in this stage, a school transfer will be the best thing for you.

If you’re an adult and you’ve reached this stage, now is the time to leave. Pick up and move to a different area. Moreover, tell no one where you’re going or even that you’re moving.

Whatever the case, just find a way to quickly and quietly disappear because your life may depend on it. It’s the only way the bullying will stop.

If you relocate, you’ll get a fresh start. You’ll have a chance to reinvent yourself and move on to peace and prosperity. In other words, you’ll get a chance to rebuild your life. You’ll begin to flourish, and create a better world for yourself.

But why not defend yourself in the early stages and save yourself years of trouble?

Bullying and First Impressions:

First impressions are everything!

Why? Because they set a precedent – a pattern for the future. If bullies get away with bad behavior once, they’ll repeat it again and again.

Also, when they get a particular reaction, they will come back for more of the same later. Without realizing it, you teach people how to treat you.

It doesn’t take long for impressions to take root and became expected. And when they do, it’s tough to change. This isn’t to say that it’s impossible. However, it won’t be easy.

Changing a social dynamic takes a truckload of patience and consistency.

Therefore, you must firmly stand up to bad treatment when it first begins. Why? Because, when you assert yourself in the early stage, others will likely respect your right to be treated well.

They’ll either leave you alone or began treating you better.

So, always set and enforce your boundaries when the bullying begins. Never let it go on for any length of time. The sooner you do, the easier it will be to assert your rights and avoid retaliation.

This post is all about Bullying and First Impressions so that you will know to stand up to bullying when it first happens and make a good impression when you do.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Self-Preservation Instinct: Defending Yourself from Bullies is Okay!

2. Asserting Boundaries: The Pros Outweigh the Cons

3. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

Signs of a Smear Campaign: 3 Indicators of Relational Bullying

March 24, 2025March 23, 20252 Comments

‘Want to know the signs of a smear campaign? Here are the signs of relational bullying that you need to know about.

Smear campaigns have ruined the lives of many innocent people, especially targets of bullying.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the signs of a smear campaign so that you’ll be able to recognize one and call it out.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be prepared and better able to protect yourself against anyone who tries to smear your good name.

This post is all about the signs of a smear campaign to train you to recognize it and overcome any attempts to ruin your reputation.

Signs of a Smear Campaign

It always starts subtly. Bullies start rumors by dropping a suggestion. Therefore, all it takes is one little rumor- just one! Because people will want to believe it.

If enough people do, it will become the truth even if it is a bald-faced lie. Consequently, there’s no getting away from public opinion no matter how false or unjustified it is.

If you’re a target of bullies, expect them to try to ruin you by making things up, leaking info they hear, or spreading ideas. Next, the bullies will fade into the background because they know that with everything they carefully put together, the lie they spread will stick.

They’ve done their part, and now they can sit back and let the rumor mill do the work for them. It’s that easy!

The bullies start by suggesting that you would be better off if you got professional help, moved, etc . They will say that it’s for your own good.

Additionally, they may drop an offhand comment here and another there.

1. Gossip

Gossip is purely judgmental and includes hasty generalizations about your character and private life. Moreover, it has nothing to do with the school, community, or workplace.

Signs of a Smear Campaign:

Gossip has 6 purposes.

To control your social status by demoting you on the social hierarchy.
To justify any punishment others may give you.
Tightening group connections.
To give higher social status to those who are privy to the negative information.
To set expectations and norms in the group on how they should treat you.
Establish, maintain, or change the social infrastructure.

Gossip justifies bullying and abuse by promoting a collective view that you don’t deserve any humanity. Therefore, instead of giving you respect or dignity, others only inflict abuse and hostility.

And once people think you deserve abuse, others will always escalate it!

Through gossip, the group establishes, maintains, or changes social hierarchies. Moreover, gossip promotes unity and shared negative perceptions of you.

Therefore, with the use of it, the group will foster justification for hostility. No one in the group considers their actions as bullying. They will only say that you “deserve it” and that they were reacting to “an evil enemy.”

Therefore, realize that all the gossip serves to provide bullies reaffirmations. And those reaffirmations are that their perceptions of you are correct, that you deserve abuse.

People may tell others to keep it secret. However, they also ask them to inform the group of any new information and updates about you.

Signs of a smear campaign:

How Gossips Cover Their Behavior

Gossips will often cover their bad behavior with a slight confession of guilt by beginning their sentences with things like,

“I know I shouldn’t say this, but…”
“Poor thing…”
“Bless her heart…”

They will acknowledge that the target is a human being. However, they’ll only do it because this gives them the green light to go on talking. Moreover, it helps them to feel less like the creeps they are.

It’s true that reputation doesn’t equal character. However, it can effect your life.

Therefore, understand that the rumors may, in fact, be false. Also, there may be zero credible evidence to back them up. But if pure speculation best fits the bullies’ goals, that’s what they will go along with.

What happens in the late stages of gossip?

In the late stages of gossip, all bystanders will become willing co-conspirators. Gossip brings scandal. In other words, it assassinates your character, integrity, mental fitness, and worth as a human being.

Anyone who questions or disbelieves the lies will immediately become an object of bullying as well. Nobody wants to be isolated. Therefore, this forces others to stay in line with the running narrative.

And if you attempt to defend yourself or speak out against the abuse, everyone else will use it against you.

Unfortunately, at this stage, the only way for you to ensure safety and escape the abuse is to leave the toxic environment. Therefore, you must go to a new place where you can start anew and reinvent yourself.

Signs of a smear campaign:

The character, Chris Chambers in the movie, “Stand by Me.”

‘Remember the character, Chris Chambers, in the movie “Stand by Me?” Although he was a great kid, he was considered a rogue and a thief.

Do you remember the scene where he was crying to his friend, Gordy? He was telling him about how he got his bad name and wishing he could go somewhere where no one knew him.

During the conversation, the character of Chris Chambers, played by River Phoenix, tearfully tells Gordy that a member of staff took the lunch money out of the teal. However, he got blamed for it solely because of his family name. It was heartbreaking to watch.

And sadly, stuff like this happens a lot. In a majority of cases, targets must leave the school, company, or community to heal and to rebuild their lives.

2. Signs of a Smear Campaign:

Rumors

As rumors and lies circulate, details are included and added to the stories. Moreover, these details have ways of being inserted into people’s memories.

For example, there have been cases of burglaries where the homeowners “thought they saw” an unarmed burglar with a gun when, in fact, there was no gun. Understand that in these cases, people don’t lie on purpose.

They really and truly believe they saw a gun in the criminal’s hand or his pocket. In fact, they actually “remember” seeing it.

Moreover, the reason they remember it so plainly is that they’ve heard and talked about it so much their brains filled in the blanks with the details based on what they heard.

Signs of a Smear Campaign:

False Memories

Bullies ask questions such as,

“Did you see her do this?”
“Did you hear him say that?”

Realize that, when they ask these questions, they only suggest that she did do this, or he did say that. It’s the Power of Suggestion at work.

Therefore, it’s so easy to influence people’s memories by presenting something in a particular way. Also, the memory will adjust itself according to a person’s stereotypes and expectations. People see what they expect to see.

Too often, people’s memories depend on social expectations- what they expect the target to do and not what he is actually doing.

Understand that memories are mistakable and can be falsified. Sure. And whether accurate or make-believe, once it becomes a memory, there’s no way to tell the difference.

If you’re a target of bullying, I want you to realize that this does happen and that you must make preparations accordingly to protect yourself better.

3. People may suddenly begin avoiding you or bullying you.

In the beginning, you may have friends and be very well-liked. Moreover, these friends may try to support you and speak on your behalf.

However, that’s when the bullies will tell them, “Oh, no. There’s more to it than what they told you.” Or, the bullies may lie to your friends by telling them that sometime in the past, you criticized them or stabbed them in the back.

Now it’s time for the bullies to stand back and let the old rumor mill do its handiwork. And, sure enough, the lies become the truth. People begin reporting things to the bullies and higher-ups in the social hierarchy- even things that never happened.

Also, as the rumors and lies spread from person to person, the bigger they get until they sound so bizarre and outlandish they’d be fit for a horror movie.

You might say, “Aw, but they’re my friends. They’d never do that to me. They know I’m a good person, and I have a clean reputation. All I have to do is tell them my side of things, and this stuff will go away.”

However, you couldn’t be any more wrong!

Signs of a Smear Campaign:

Even your friends may turn their backs on you.

Once the rumors get around, your friends will no longer believe you to be right. They’ll only think you’re a thorn in the side with a big mouth. By the time bullying is underway, your reputation is no longer clean.

Now, everyone thinks you never deserved any respect or friendship. The people around you may also feel that the reason you were so well-liked is that you conned your way into their hearts.

Moreover, they’ll say that you put on a front. They’ll tell others that you only weaseled your way into everyone’s good graces. The bullies and their followers may even accuse you of being a kiss-ass.

People will make your past accomplishments, successes, or accolades irrelevant. On the other hand, they will maximize your mistakes and failures. They’ll even add on many more mistakes you didn’t make.

In short, they’ll begin rewriting your history.

Even if others see with their own eyes evidence of your successes, friendships- anything positive, they won’t believe it. They’ll only react by claiming that you’re only a smooth-talker who’s darn good at using fake charm to manipulate others.

After your friends turn against you, they’ll deny they ever liked you to begin with.

And the friends that your bullies turn against you? Your former friends will claim that they never liked you from the start. Moreover, they’ll swear that they were only kind to you because they were afraid of you.

They can tell others they felt sorry for you, or that you smooth-talked and conned them.

Also, your former friends will tell others, “who you really are.” Also, they’ll claim that the bullies you bitched about were only reacting to your sneaky provocations.

If they ever agreed with you about your bullies, they only did so because you fooled them into it.

Telling your side of things will do no good because they’ll never believe it anyway. In other words, your embittered friends “may have fallen for it at first,” but now they’ll claim to “know better.”

I want you to understand that once they’ve made up their minds, there’s no changing them.

In cases like these, it’s best just to find a way to get out of the environment altogether. Moreover, it’s best that you never look back. You don’t want to ever have anything to do with any of these people again.

Therefore, you owe it to yourself to kick them all to the curb.

This post was all about signs of a smear campaign so that you can recognize it and be better prepared.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1.Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

2. Smear Campaigns: 4 Tactics Bullies Use to Sully Your Reputation

3. What Constitutes Bullying and What Doesn’t

4. Social Bullying Examples: 7 Reasons Bullies Destroy Relationships

5. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

Weaponizing Mental Health: 7 Reasons Bullies Label You Mentally Ill

January 29, 2025January 29, 202513 Comments

‘Want to know why bullies are quick with weaponizing mental health? Here are all the reasons bullies use mental health to discredit you and damage your reputation.

Using your mental health as a weapon is probably the first thing your bullies will do when you get fed up and begin standing up to them.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about weaponizing mental health and the reasons your bullies use it against you.

Once you learn this must-know information, you will be able to boldly and confidently call it out so that you can protect yourself against it.

This post is all about weaponizing mental health so that you’ll have the knowledge to protect yourself from bullies who use it against you.

Weaponizing mental health

Have you noticed that bullies usually pull the mental health card anytime their victims stop taking their crap? Moreover, have you ever wondered why? Are you one of those people bullies and others have unfairly painted as a mental case? Here are the reasons bullies do this.

1. The mental health label is the easiest and most effective label to stick to you.

Sadly, a label like this tends to have loads of staying power. Why? Because it’s the hardest to disprove. This goes double when the object of it is being bullied and mobbed.

Moreover, the “mentally unstable” label is worse than the label, “criminal.” In other words, criminals are treated better than those with mental illness because of the stigma behind it.

Therefore, the mental health label is the most damaging to your reputation.

2. Bullying, especially if it’s chronic, can make a person an emotional wreck.

…and rightfully so. Hence, another reason the mental health label is a clever label for bullies to pin to them.

Understand that the natural human response is to react and defend yourself when attacked. Therefore, people can easily mistake any form of self-defense for mental illness.

when bullies label you as unhinged, it doesn’t mean they actually think you are. In fact, they may know good and well that you aren’t mentally ill.

Remember that bullies are big cowards. Therefore, if they really and truly thought you were loco, they wouldn’t mess with you at all. Moreover, they wouldn’t come near you.

Weaponizing Mental Health:

Bullies abuse you, then use your reaction to their abuse to paint you as someone who’s unhinged.

Instead, they would do everything they could to stay out of your way and avoid poking the bear. They’d go out of their way to be on their best behavior around you. Why? Because they know that a person who’s not right upstairs could rip their heads off and poop down their necks.

In fact, that person could go postal and wipe them all out, then go home and eat a sandwich.
If a person with any common sense knows someone who is factually and utterly batshit nuts, their first instinct is to walk lightly around them. In other words, they do their due diligence to keep from setting that person off!

Therefore, the mental health label is used to make the person look bad. Again, anyone who’s bullied is likely to be emotional. And who wouldn’t be if they suffered constant bullying?

So, the victim’s emotional reaction to the abuse just makes it easier for bullies to stick that label on them. Put another way, the bullies use the victim’s emotional reaction to their abuse as confirmation that the person really is a nutcase. And sadly, it sticks.

3. To discredit you.

Your bullies are smarter then you think. They know that eventually, you’re likely to get fed up with their crap and either report them or stand up to them. Moreover, you just might expose them and cause them to lose face.

Therefore, your bullies will claim you’re a mental case. And why not? If everyone thinks you’re stark raving mad, who’s going to take you seriously when you report the bullying?

In other words, if you have a reputation of being a nut-ball, the less likely anyone will believe you when you go to them for help.

4. Weaponizing Mental Health:

To Silence and subdue you.

The mental health label does two things. First, it makes you afraid to stand up to your bullies or speak out about their abuse. Secondly, it keeps their reputations spotless why trashing yours

Bullies aren’t clueless. They know that if people think you’re bananas, they won’t believe you. Moreover, they figure that you may make a few attempts to report them, only to be rebuffed. Once enough people either ignore or rebuff you, you’ll eventually grown too afraid to open your mouth.

Therefore, they use the mental health label to shut you up and keep you under control.

Also, you’ll also be too afraid to fight back. Why? Because, if you do, you know that the bullies will only use the label to reverse roles and play victim.

Then, others will only assume that you went postal and either hurt those poor, innocent bullies, or you just threw a temper tantrum and began shouting and cursing people out for no reason. All because you’re just “bonkers.”

5. A mental imbalance is the most difficult to disprove.

In other words, your bullies can never prove you’re mentally unstable. However, there’s no way that you can prove for certain that you aren’t.

Therefore, this is why bullies use this label the most. Also, it’s the most common form of gaslighting. “Mentally imbalanced” can be used as a last resort when bullies run out of options and can’t pin anything else on you.

Think about it. They can’t as easily label you a whore if you haven’t slept around. Just the same, they can’t as easily label you a criminal if you don’t have a police record to prove it. And they can’t easily label you a thief if you never took anything that wasn’t yours.

Whereas, you can’t as easily disprove a mental instability.

People have a strong tendency to see the worst in others. Therefore, the burden of proof lies with you.

Again, this kind of label is easiest to pin on you. It shouldn’t be this easy. But it is.

6. Weaponizing Mental Health:

Bullies use the mental health label as a last option

In other words, when bullies have nothing on you, they’ll often label you as mentally imbalanced. Again, they may not be able to prove it, but you can’t disprove it either.

7. To make you doubt your own sanity.

If bullies can cause you to wonder if you really are coming unglued, the more likely others are to believe you are.

Therefore, don’t you doubt your mental abilities for a second!

Bullies Don’t Think You’re Mentally imbalanced. They Think you’re weak.

In fact, your bullies most likely know that you’re just as sane as the next person. They also know that you aren’t strong enough to keep them away.

However, here’s another things that bullies also know.

Weakness and helplessness have a certain allure and appeal. And this allure and appeal raises the chances of others coming to your aid. Therefore, your bullies are afraid that others just might feel compelled to come to your aid.

Realize that helplessness sparks a natural tendency to want to take care of the helpless person. On the other hand, people are less likely to help the person they deem loony.

Bullies instinctively know this. Therefore, they label you mentally unstable to strip you of the allure and appeal of weakness and helplessness.

Weaponizing Mental Health:

There’s a method behind the label of mental instability

Again, in labeling you a nutcase and making it stick, bullies are better able to avoid accountability. Moreover, if they can dodge responsibility, then they get to continue abusing you freely and with impunity.

Therefore, if you’re aware of the motives behind that label, the better you’ll be able to catch it and counter your bullies with it.

Bullies will often bait you into looking unhinged.

For example, your bullies provoke you into a reaction. Next, others walk in on you as you’re telling your bullies where to stick it. In other words, these so-called witnesses only catch the tail end of the confrontation.

And sadly, they draw the wrong conclusions. Therefore, if this happens to you, understand that this is what your bullies were counting on!!!

Bullies do this all the time to discredit their targets and cover their behinds when they know they’re wrong! Why? Because, if the bully can make you look loony, then who’s going to believe you when you report their abuse?

Moreover, who’ll take you seriously the next time you let the bully have it? They’ll only sigh and think, “Uh-oh! There she goes again! She’s having another mental episode! That person has gone completely batsh**!”

Weaponizing Mental Health:

How to Counter the Mental Health Label

The first and most important way to counter this form of gaslighting is not to fall for it! Simply look them in the eye, and tell them,
“You’re wrong, and you know you’re wrong! I’m not going to debate this any further with you!”

Then walk away and leave the bully standing there slack-jawed.

If the bully follows you and asks, “What’s your problem?” don’t explain it to them. They’re not five years old, they already know, and you don’t owe them any more than what’s necessary. The trick is to say as little as possible.

Or, you can simply tell them, “You know what my problem is!”

The bully may continue to follow you and ask, “What did I do to you?” You can then say, “You know what you did! Now get bent!”

Don’t beat around the bush. Get to the point and say it like you mean it. Be firm but don’t yell (yelling makes you look like a basket case).

The bully may not change their ways and their attitude toward you. But I promise! You’ll feel so much better about yourself knowing that you put your foot down and looked less “unstable” to any bystanders!

‘Funny How Bullies Magically Become Board-Certified Shrinks.

Moreover, they can do it overnight, without reading a single word out of a psychology textbook. As we all know, bullies are legends (or Doctors of Psychology) in their own minds and they only make themselves look dimwitted when they “diagnose” anyone they cannot manipulate.

Weaponizing Mental health and the use of Pop-Psych.

This little phenomenon is called “pop-psych,” and, in all it’s entitlement (and embarrassment), empowers bullies to conduct, “remote analyses” while holding little to zero education in the field of Psychology.

Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying whom bullies have diagnosed, you can counter these accusations of insanity by reading a basic psychology 101 textbook, then asking your bullies questions that challenge the narrative.

Let’s use the scenario below as an example:

Jack: “Don’t hang out with Jill. She’s nuts.”

Kelly: “Nuts? That sounds like a pretty serious accusation. Nuts in what way?”

Jack: “Uh…I don’t know. Like schizo or something.”

Kelly: There are five categories of schizophrenia, which one do you think she falls into?”

Jack: “Uhhhhh…paranoia?”

Kelly: “I’ll have you know that paranoia is a common trait in many psychopathologies.”

Jack: “Uhhhh. I dunno. She’s talking about people talking about her and thinking they’re after her or something- that’s nuts.”

Kelly: “Jack, have you ever considered that possibility that Jill may be a target of bullying?”

Jack: “Oh, no! We’re not allowed to talk about that.”

Kelly: (Rolls her eyes and scoffs at Jack, then walks away.)

When bullies use pop-psychology, they do it out of ignorance and entitlement. They use mental health and mental illness as a weapon and end up making themselves look ignorant.

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The more we understand the ins, outs, and reasons behind the use of this label, the better we can defend against it.

Therefore, calmly call this out and keep your wits about you. Also, continue showing your bullies up through your calm behavior.

It may take a while, but eventually, the label does get old and wear itself out. And when that happens, it will lose it’s effect.

This post was all about Weaponizing mental health so that you can know why bullies do it and what it’s designed to do.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Smear Campaigns: 4 Tactics Bullies Use to Sully Your Reputation

2. Baiting: 5 Ways Bullies Bait You Into a Reaction

3. The Bullied Brain: 7 Ways Bullying Effects Mental Health

4. Unhealthy Ways to Deal with Bullying: 11 No-No’s to be Aware of

5. Signs Someone is Gaslighting You: The 13 Must-Know Symptoms

Smear Campaigns: 4 Tactics Bullies Use to Sully Your Reputation

December 4, 2024November 27, 20246 Comments

‘Want to know the purpose of smear campaigns and the stealthy techniques bullies use to ruin your good name? Here is a detailed description of the process and why these evil tactics work so well.

Smear campaigns are destructive to your reputation and can even ruin your life.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the detailed tactics bullies employ in their smear campaigns so that you can better guard yourself against them.

Once you learn this very important information, you will will better able to defend yourself against them and save your good name.

This post is all about smear campaigns, the tactics bullies use to launch them, and what you can do to successfully defend yourself against them.

Smear Campaigns and the importance of reputation

“Reputation is the cornerstone of power.” – Robert Greene

So, why do bullies attack your reputation?

Simply put, they do it to strip you of power. Bullies know that, once your reputation is gone, you’re defenseless and extremely vulnerable to attack. In other words, they know that if they can poke holes in your reputation, they won’t have to work so hard to bring you down.

Why? Because now, they have public opinion on their side. They can then stand back and watch with glee as widely held perceptions finish you off.

Moreover, after they trash your good name, bullies can freely attack you from all directions. Even worse, you’re at the mercy of virtually everyone around you.

How do Smear Campaigns work?

It always starts subtly.

So, Where do they begin?

1. They start by planting seeds of doubt about your character in the minds of others.

They may cast doubt on you by doing something as subtle as dropping a suggestion. Doubt is a powerful tool. It sets the stage for the next stages of the smear.

2. Smear Campaigns:

They spread rumors and lies.

All it takes is one little rumor- just one!

Bullies are proof that offense is the best defense. Drawing first blood is always best because the target can only respond in either one of two ways.

1. He could deny the rumors, even produce evidence that proves his innocence of the accusations.

2. He could ignore the lies and blow his accusers off with a “whatever” and walk away laughing.

However, either way, people will still look at the target with suspicion. If the target defends himself and produces evidence to the contrary, the prevailing thought will be,

“There must be some truth to the rumors, otherwise he wouldn’t be defending himself so vehemently.”

If he ignores the lies and waves his accusers away with a laugh, others will be even more suspicious of him because they’ll think that he has something to hide and is only playing it cool.

Bullies know that if they instigate rumors the right way, there’s a possibility that they can get the target so enraged and rattled that while defending himself, he ends up making a truckload of mistakes.

Also, if this happens and the target hasn’t yet established a reputation, the smear campaign will work all the more in the bullies’ favor.

Bullies spread lies and rumors by making things up, leaking info they hear, or spreading ideas. Next, they’ll fade into the background because they know that with everything put together, whatever lies they spread will stick.

3. They’ll Repeat the same lies.

In other words, the bullies use repetition. They repeat the same rumor over and over again until it sticks. And sadly, once repeated enough times, more and more people will believe it and it will become the truth even if it is a bald-faced lie.

In fact, by then, others will want to believe it.

And, once the bullies have done their part, they can sit back and let the rumor mill do the work for them. It’s that easy! There’s no getting away from public opinion no matter how false or unjustified it is.

4. Bullies will provoke you to trick you into living up to the rumors.

If bullies spread a rumor that you’re mentally imbalanced, they may provoke some kind of emotional reaction from you. They may do this by taunting you.

Moreover, they may also provoke you by hitting you first, hoping you’ll hit them back so they can use it as proof that you really are unhinged.

Smear Campaigns: What happens when Your Reputation takes a hit?

1. People will negatively judge any talents, actions, or contributions, good or bad.

Here’s how this works.

Two different people can do the exact same thing the exact same way. However, each person’s reputation will decide whether the action is brilliant or terrible.

In other words, it’s not what you do. It’s who you are when you do it. It’s not the action itself, but who the person is that does it.

A person who’s well-liked and has a stellar reputation can write an essay, and others will deem it a brilliant piece.

However, let a person everyone despises write the exact same essay, and others will only view it as a worthless piece of garbage that isn’t even worth reading.

Thank God for pseudonyms!

This brings me to the final conclusion:

Reputation can affect all areas of your life. It can be the difference between having success or failure- in everything!

The Character, Chris Chambers in the movie, “Stand by Me”

Remember the character, Chris Chambers, in the movie “Stand by Me.” Although he was a great kid, he was considered a rogue and a thief.

Moreover, during the scene where he was crying to his friend, Gordy, Chris told him about how he got his bad name and wished he could go somewhere where no one knew him.

And sadly, that happens a lot. In a majority of cases, targets must leave the school, company, or community to heal and to rebuild their lives.

Smear campaigns have stages.

Stage 1:

The bullies will cast doubt on your character and drop suggestions. Also, they’ll spread lies and rumors. They will then provoke you. You blow them off for a while but the bullies are relentless. Therefore, they not only continue but escalate the harassment.

Finally, you get fed up with their crap and, out of exhaustion and emotion, tell them to go to hell in a hand basket. And there! The bullies get the reaction they’ve been waiting for.

Now, the smear campaign begins. Your bullies start by suggesting that you’d be better off if you got professional help, moved, etc . They will say that it’s for your own good to look as if they have genuine concern for you.

Next, they may drop an offhand comment here and another there. Understand that bullies need to slowly and ever-so-gradually ramp up the smears. Why? So, that what they’re doing doesn’t appear so obvious.

Character vs Reputation

In the beginning, you may have friends. Others may like or even love you. Moreover, they may try to support you and speak on your behalf.

However, that’s when the bullies will tell them, “Oh, no. There’s more to it than what he told you.”

Or, the bullies may lie to your friends by telling them that sometime in the past, you criticized them or stabbed them in the back.

Smear Campaigns Stage 2.

Moreover, they make false statements and accuse you of wrongs you never committed.

And as the rumors and lies spread from person to person, the bigger they grow until they sound so bizarre and outlandish they’d be fit for a horror movie.

However, you couldn’t be more wrong!

stage 3.

Once the rumors get around, your friends will no longer believe you to be right. They’ll only think you’re a thorn in the side with a big mouth.

Therefore, by the time the open bullying is underway, you no longer have a clean reputation.

The results of successful smear campaigns.

Now, everyone thinks you never deserved any respect or friendship. The people around you also feel that the reason you were so well-liked is that you conned your way into their hearts.

They’ll say that you put on a front, and you only weaseled your way into everyone’s good graces. The bullies and their followers may even accuse you of being a kiss-ass.

Moreover, others will make your past wins, accomplishments, successes, or accolades irrelevant. They will also maximize your mistakes and failures and add many more you didn’t make.

In other words, they will rewrite your history.

If you’re on your best behavior and others see it with their own eyes, they’ll only accuse you of being a con artist. Also, any hard evidence of your successes, friendships- anything positive, they’ll chalk it up to you being a smooth-talker who’s good at using charm to manipulate others.

And the friends that your bullies turn against you? They’ll claim that they never liked you from the start. Moreover, they’ll swear up and down that they were only kind to you because they felt sorry for you, or because you conned them.

Your so-called friends will tell others, “who you really are.” They’ll claim that the bullies you bitched about were only reacting to your sneaky provocations.

Also, they’ll say that they only agreed with you about your bullies because you fooled them into it.

Telling your side of things will do no good because they’ll never believe it anyway. Your embittered friends “may have fallen for it at first,” but now they claim to “know better.”

I want you to understand that once people’s minds are already made up, there’s no changing it.

Smear Campaigns Stage 4

Stage 4 is the late stage. Therefore, in the late stages of a smear campaign, all bystanders will become willing co-conspirators.

Gossip will be everywhere. And it brings scandal, which means to assassinate the target’s character, integrity, mental fitness, and worth as a student, worker, neighbor, and human being.

Moreover, anyone who questions or disbelieves the lies will immediately become an object of bullying as well. Nobody wants to be isolated, so this forces others to stay in line with the running narrative.

And if the target attempts to defend himself or speak out against the abuse, it will be used against him.

Unfortunately, at this stage, the only way for the target to ensure his safety and escape the abuse is to leave the toxic environment and go to a new place where he can start anew, establish new connections, and reinvent himself.

In Conclusion:

There’s still hope. Although extremely difficult, you can still salvage your reputation and change your life for the better. Here’s how.

1. If you’re a victim of vicious smear campaigns, Move to a different area.

Sometimes you must go somewhere else and start over again. It may be difficult to leave your family behind, but if you stay in the town where people judge you unfavorably, you’ll never have the chance to move forward and will always be stuck right where you are.

Why not pack your things and head for greener pastures.

2. Find a good cause to fight for and that you’re passionate about.

Any time you fight for a good cause, you will meet like-minded people who are fighting for the same purpose. Moreover, the cause could be “The Victim’s Rights Movement,” or even “The Anti-Bullying Movement.”

Whatever the cause, you will attract those who are fighting for the same things. Also, you’ll easily make positive connections with them and become life-long friends.

Although many doors get slammed shut and locked, there’s always a window to crawl through if you look for it. I guarantee it!

This post is all about smear campaigns so that you can recognize all the tactics and stages. Moreover, it will give you time to act to protect yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The 4 Stages of Bullying

2. Bullying Culture: When Bullying is the Status Quo

3. The Cycle of Bullying: Psychological Injuries and Care of Victims

4. What Not to Share at Work When You Suffer Workplace Bullying

5. School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids!

“The More You Stir Sh**, The More It Stinks”

May 4, 202218 Comments

Bullies are notorious for sowing discord among other people. They just can’t seem to get enough drama. In fact, they thrive on it. Have you ever wondered why?

It’s to keep the spotlight off themselves and their despicable behavior and dirty dealings. Lots of times, they do it as a distraction. If the bullies can stir the pot and keep others at each other’s throats, they get to look like gods and be untouchable.

Also, bullies get cheap thrills from watching others tear each other down. Trust me, bullies love that stuff!

It also makes the bullies look as if they’re above it all. Bullies use appearances to look better than what they were. And the more they can stir it up and make it stink, the better they smell.

Remember this the next time you see bullies trying to instigate hatred between other people. Remember this the next time bullies try to instigate a fight between you and a former friend, or between another classmate or coworker.

Understand that this is done in politics all the time. In fact, it’s what the media is best at. It is called the Divide and Conquer strategy. And it’s used to sow discord among people. And sadly, it works. And in more ways than one.

The next time someone tries to turn you against a friend or tries to turn a friend against you, ask yourself who the division would benefit most. You, your friend or the instigator?

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Triumphing Over Workplace Bullying (Part 2)

April 14, 202231 Comments

Retro Emoji rage anger boiling woman face pop art retro style

(Continued from Part 1…)

In the last post, I talked about how everything started out great and that I was well-liked by almost everyone. I also mentioned the incident when I responded in kind after Candi, a CNA, caught a bad attitude. Needless to say, I found out that, right or wrong, talking down to her was a no-no because she had connections.

And over several months, one by one, many people turned against me. Luckily, several of my real friends knew how Candi was and had no respect for her. They were the people who had my back, so I can say that I did have allies who took care of me.

However, there was a clear division at Shady Grove Living Center. There was the administrator, who I’ll call *Beau, *Cammie, the payroll clerk, the department heads,*Harry (who was Cammie’s husband), one maintenance guy, whose name was *Jules, and two CNAs, *Shelly was one and *Cheryl who were two flying monkeys. On our side were my supervisor Darnell, all of my coworkers (except for one suck up), a charge nurse, and the rest of the CNAs who had my back.

At first, the bullies made false reports about me to Darnell. On the days after my shift (I worked part-time in the evening), the third shift CNAs would complain that I hadn’t stocked the linen closets on each of the halls and that they had no clean bed pads, bedsheets, nor gowns for the residents who soiled their beds during the night.

But because I always thought ahead and could easily predict what these people would do, I had made sure to pull out my cellphone and take pictures of all my finished work at the end of my shift.

Once I was done stocking the linen closets, I took photos of all the shelves inside, chock full of freshly clean linens. I then took pictures inside all the empty barrels that were marked “dirty laundry,” before clocking out and going home. And, with the time-stamps on each image, there was no question I’d done my job.

I took pictures every night, at the end of the shift. And I had proof to show Darnell every time they lied.

When that didn’t work, the bullies only turned up the harassment, as word quickly spread throughout the nursing home that I’d taken pictures of all finished work.

In a way, it was funny because each of the linen closets was directly across from a nurse’s desk, where the bullies would sit around and gossip. And I remember overhearing them make snide remarks about my camera and my taking pictures, to which I’d only snicker and chuckle to myself.

Harry, the head of maintenance, would talk pretty ugly to me, but I knew I wasn’t the only one because many times, I’d see him talk terrible to several others- even a few who worked for the nursing home. So, I didn’t feel like the Lone Ranger.

And because I’d already been a target of bullying in school, I knew what to expect as all bullies pull pretty much the same tactics, only adult bullies are much more sophisticated with it. Therefore, I was able to prepare, stay a few steps ahead, and outflank them.

During this time, I began to witness a couple of the bullies in this workplace clique commit a few illegal activities. On one instance, I worked a double shift to cover for a coworker who was sick.

Early one Saturday morning, I saw with my own eyes Harry walk into the back door of the nursing home, dressed in camouflage and his bright orange hunting vest. He crept down the hall past the laundry room, then stopped at the time clock and clocked in. Harry then filled out a bogus work order, then left.

He didn’t return until late that evening to clock out and leave again. I’ll never forget the look on his mug when he saw me sitting outside on my last break as he drove by in his shiny new pickup. And when I told a trusted friend at work a day or two later about what I’d seen, she wasn’t at all surprised.

“Girl! He’s been clocking out and going home on the weekends since I’ve been here! And I’ll tell you something else,” *Brenda told me, “Cammie’s been embezzling from this facility, and she’s been ripping off some of the residents who don’t have families- weaseling them into signing papers to leave their assets to her when they leave this world!”

I felt my eyes pop out of my head as Brenda gave me an ear full!

(Continued in Part 3…)

Translating the Tactics Bullies Use

January 30, 202249 Comments

Social Aggression: When Bullies Spread Lies and Rumors About You

The possible underlying messages are:

“I hate you, and I want everyone else to hate you too!”

“I’m jealous of your relationships!”

“I don’t want you to have friends! I don’t want you to be popular with others! I don’t want you to have support or protection because I plan to bully you again later! Any success you have in relationships will only highlight my lack of social graces or my own dysfunctional relationships! So, I’m going to destroy your friendships to punish you and make myself feel and look better than you! I’m going to trash your reputation so I can shine, and so people will pay more attention to your flaws than they will mine!”

Chess board and text “Strategic plan” Business planning concept

“I’m scared you’ll have more friends than me.”

“I’m scared you’ll have allies who will protect you from me and make me look weak.”

“I’m going to use you as a distraction from my own shortcomings. If people are too busy focusing on your flaws, they’re less likely to see mine.”

When Bullies Beat You up

The possible messages are:

“You challenged my authority over you and made me look like a punk! So, I’m going to show you who’s boss and ensure you never defy my power again!”

“I feel weak and powerless! So, I’m going to use my physical strength to hurt you, embarrass you and make you look weaker so I can feel and look strong to others!”

When the Bully Justifies Themselves to You or Others, or When They Blame You for Their Bad Behavior

The possible messages are:

“I’m so scared that you’ll see right through me! So, I’m going to make you doubt your sanity. I’m going to make you feel like everything I do to you is your fault! That way, you’ll be least likely to call attention to my terrible actions and make me look bad or get me in trouble with authority!”

“I’m so afraid you’ll expose my terrible deeds to others and damage the excellent reputation that I’ve falsely kept up for so long! So, I’ve got to make up any excuse that sounds plausible to keep my evils hidden and avoid facing accountability!

“I’m scared that I’ll be found out and punished! So, I’m blaming you so that everyone will think you’re at fault and believe you are the bully! By accusing you, I can avoid responsibility, then get the green light to keep harassing you! Then, I can keep getting the psychological and emotional benefits I’ve been getting at your expense!”

So, you see? The bully’s treatment of you is about them! Not you! Learn to see through the bullies’ facades, and I guarantee that their attacks will have a much lesser effect on you.

With knowledge comes empowerment!