Tag: shy

How Bullying Can Instill a False Sense of Insecurity

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Bullies will often bully a specific victim for so long that the victim eventually expects maltreatment from all people. Although I no longer get bullied and have long since regained my confidence and self-esteem, I do remember that feeling all too well.

After being bullied for so long, you become fearful. Around people, you clam up, keep your eyes to yourself and go about your business. However, it seldom works because bullies are like pit bulldogs; they can smell fear from a mile away, so being reserved and staying out of the way tends to bring about more bullying.

You can always tell when a person is a victim of bullying because they continuously apologize for everything. Overapologizing is the surefire sign of bullying and abuse, as is being reserved and afraid to look people in the eye.

Understand that the person who does that is scared to death. They’ve lost all sense of their worth and are afraid to make decisions because they might make the wrong one and be ridiculed, shamed, or harmed for it.

Many targets are also afraid to talk to people because they know that, no matter what they say and how much sense it makes, they will be accused of saying something stupid or offensive and, they will again get persecuted for it. They’re fearful of going out or being seen in public because they might run into the wrong people (bullies).

They’re scared to greet people because they fear that they’ll be seen as too friendly. But if they say nothing, they’re often mistaken for being stuck up or standoffish.

If you are a victim of bullying and you do any of the above, STOP!

Living your life in fear is no way to live! It sucks! It’s a downright miserable existence, and you should refuse to keep your head down and clam up to avoid the pettiness of other people!

I want you to realize that you don’t need permission to be yourself or to exist! The day you say, “Screw it! Who cares what those idiots think!” will be the day you get your life back. Things may indeed get worse before they get better. But it’ll be worth it in the long run. I guarantee it.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Why The Quiet Ones Are Often Targets for Bullies

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Quiet people are mysterious because they’re people of few words. Many of them are also stoic, which only makes it that much harder to peg them. Often bullies target these people for several reasons:

1. Quiet people are presumed to be easy targets. They think that if you aren’t loud and obnoxious, you must be weak, afraid, and least likely to fight back in an altercation.

 2. They’re are mistaken for being standoffish. Bullies will presume that quiet people are stuck up and think they’re too good to speak. And bullies can’t stand it if there’s a possibility that someone is ignoring them. So they target the person to get a reaction out of them. Or, they punish them for “being so stuck up.”

 3. They’re hard to figure out. People of few words strike fear into others. The less you say, the harder other people must work to figure you out. Remember that most bullies bully out of fear.

 4. A silent person is less predictable. And bullies hate it when targets are unpredictable. If they can’t predict the target’s next move, the least likely they are to be able to dupe them or set them up to get jumped or to be humiliated. Many bullies see this as a challenge and will rise to it by provoking the person to get a reaction.

Quiet people don’t show their cards, and bullies resent them for making them have to work so hard to pin them.

5. A quiet person puts bullies on the defensive. People often think that the silent are sneaky and have something to hide. So bullies will often target them to shake them up and make them slip up and accidentally reveal something out of nervousness.

Bullies often believe the stereotypes they’ve heard about people of few words:

“It’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for!”

“The quiet ones are the most dangerous!”

 If you’re a silent person and you’re a target of bullies. Don’t let them shake you. Continue to play your cards close to the vest. Your lack of predictability is what protects you. You must understand that silence has a power all it’s own. Use it.

That False Sense of Insecurity When You’re a Target

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Bullies will often bully a specific victim for so long that the victim eventually expects maltreatment from all people. Although I no longer get bullied and have long since regained my confidence and self-esteem, I do remember that feeling all too well.

After being bullied for so long, you become fearful. Around people, you clam up, keep your eyes to yourself and go about your business. However, it seldom works because bullies are like pit bulldogs; they can smell fear from a mile away, so being reserved and staying out of the way tends to bring about more bullying.

You can always tell when a person is a victim of bullying because they continuously apologize for everything. Overapologizing is the surefire sign of bullying and abuse, as is being reserved and afraid to look people in the eye.

Understand that the person who does that is scared to death. They’ve lost all sense of their worth and are afraid to make decisions because they might make the wrong one and be ridiculed, shamed, or harmed for it.

Many targets are also afraid to talk to people because they’re afraid of saying something stupid or offensive and again getting persecuted for it. They’re fearful of going out or being seen in public because they might run into the wrong people (bullies).

They’re scared to greet people because they fear that they’ll be seen as too friendly. So, they’re often mistaken for being stuck up or standoffish.

If you are a victim of bullying and you do any of the above, STOP!

Living your life in fear is no way to live! It sucks! It’s a downright miserable existence, and I refuse to keep my head down and clam up to avoid the pettiness of other people!

I want you to realize that you don’t need permission to be yourself or to exist! The day you say, “Screw it! Who cares what those idiots think!” will be the day you get your life back. Things may indeed get worse before they get better. But it’ll be worth it in the long run. I guarantee it.