The “Me! Me! Me!” Aspect of Bullying

Bullies are very egocentric and self-centered people. They bully because it gives them some sort of payoff- a psychological payoff. In fact, it gives them several payoffs.

Bullies will bully you for perceived slights. Maybe you reported them and caused them to get reprimanded. You spoke out and put their reputations and social status at risk of crashing. You put them in danger of losing face and with it, power.

Or maybe you ignored them and made them feel unimportant. Maybe you talked back to them and made them look like punks. Nevertheless, you took back your power and made your bullies look like losers in front of everyone. And now they want to punish you and tip the scales of power back in their favor.

Bullies Have Fragile Egos

Bullies attack people who have less power. Yet they will always claim to be the victims and say that you disrespected them. Why? Because you exposed them. Also, they’ll be enraged for being made to feel unimportant, or for being made to look weak.

Understand that your bullies are entrenched in their belief that their bullying is justifiable, rational, and right. That it is their rights being violated and not yours. They claim they are the victims, and you (the true victim) are the aggressor.

But realize that, if you’re a target of bullying, your bullies believe that their self-entitlements automatically override your rights. Bullies view opposition by you, their target, the person they deem inferior, as disrespect and an impediment to their wants and their agendas.

Most Bullying Comes from a Place of Entitlement. 

They bully you because they see you as inferior and themselves as superior. Also, they see you as bad and wrong and themselves as good and right.

They will automatically twist the events in their favor and grossly exaggerate your so-called wrongness and make you look like the bully anytime you report them to a teacher or supervisor, or you speak out about their abuse. It’s the dark side of human nature.

Bullies feel hurt and angry when the target stands up to them or speaks out about their abuse. Therefore, because bullies think they’re right, they believe the target should just take their abuse because he’s wrong and “he deserves it.”

Arrogant young Caucasian man with three female admirers

In reality, the target is tired of being abused and decides not to take it anymore. However, from the bullies’ perspectives, the target thinks he’s better than them. The target is also stepping out of “their place.” He or she is catching an attitude with the bullies and is “dissing” them.

Taking Back Your Power Means Taking it Away from the Bully.

The bullies’ explanation of the target’s behavior totally negates the fact that the target is sick of being mistreated. In reality, the target only wants to be treated with dignity. However, the bullies judge the target in reference to themselves.

In their self-serving preference, bullies aim to control the target’s behavior, attitude, and intentions. The unwritten rule is that targets who are inferior shouldn’t do anything to make the bullies angry or cause them distress, no matter who’s right or who’s wrong.

Understand that when bullies target you, it’s not about your character, it’s about your bullies’ lack of character. It’s not that you’ve done anything wrong, nor that there’s anything wrong with you. It’s because there’s something wrong with the bullies. Therefore, there must be something wrong with them, otherwise they wouldn’t behave the way they do.

Here’s what else it’s about:

It’s about the bullies’ cowardice.

The bullies are great big cowards, and they bully you to try and cover up their fear, weaknesses, and shortcomings. Additionally, they cloak themselves with a tough, holier than thou veneer. Remember that bullies also run around in packs. You will never see a bully alone.

They must always have their wing-men with them to look well-liked and to have backup when they go after their targets. Understand that these wing-men are there to show strength and power- strength and power bullies could never have without them.

It’s about the bullies’ mental health issues.

Anyone who bullies someone else must be sick in the head. Because if a person has good mental health, they don’t have to bully anyone. A person with good mental health has got too much going for them and is too busy pursuing their goals to spend the extra effort to cause anyone else pain.

It’s about the bullies’ anger, jealousy, and overall unhappiness.

These people pick out a target to abuse in order to feel better about themselves. Having power over another person is the only way they can feel good about themselves. Many bullies pick people they’re jealous of to target for abuse.

They may feel that the target has something that they don’t have and don’t feel they can ever attain. So, they must drag that person down to punish them for the injustice they feel. Understand that unhappy bullies hate people who are happy and those are the targets they select.

It’s also about the bullies’ need for attention and admiration.

Bullies crave attention and admiration, so they bully you in front of an audience to look cute or cool in front of them. Also, bullies need to feel tough and intelligent, and they need droves of people worshiping at their feet to feel adequate.

Bullies bully because, there’s always something in it for them.

There’s always a psychological payoff. Bullying is the only thing they enjoy. There’s where the “me, me, me” of it comes into play.

When you really stop and think about it, bullies are pathetic and they’re each compensating for something they feel insecure about. They are sad, pitiful souls who should be pitied. Bullies are the lowest of human scum.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Seeing Through the Bully’s Facade

We all know that bullies are cowards who hide behind a façade. But what makes that façade? What are the exact ingredients that make up the bully’s façade?

Before I give you each ingredient in detail, let me tell you that bullies are like peacocks. They like to strut around and fan out their tails, showing us their prettiest colors. And they do this to collect admirers, followers, and allies. That’s exactly what the bully’s façade is used for- to draw people to them. And bullies are good at duping their cohorts into thinking that they’re perfect and can’t be touched.

Only their targets know what’s behind the facades- victims know the real people behind the masks. So, again, what exactly are the ingredients that bullies use to build their carefully crafted facades and promote those fake images?

Here are your answers:

1. Impeccable Attire. Most seasoned and well-practiced bullies dress in the best and latest fashions. These people love to be pleasing to the eyes because they understand that, sadly, most people are materialistic and beauty-obsessed, and everything is based on appearances. So, they wear the fanciest clothes, the sportiest hairstyles, the sexiest makeup.

They show off these things to look the best and give the appearance that they’re rolling in money and that their life is perfect- all to impress others. Most of all, bullies also do it for one-upmanship!

And…here’s something else! Many of my bullies didn’t have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out. Not that being poor makes a person bad, but!

Most bullies will go flat broke buying fancy clothes and sporty cars to pimp around town in just to keep up a fake persona. And they’ll be up to their eyeballs in debt. Many of these people are constantly having a hard time paying or failing to pay their bills.

They’re the types who will run to mommy and daddy for bailouts and handouts, yet they spend a fortune on clothes, hairstyles, manicures, pedicures, facials, cosmetic surgeries, you name it!

Because of this, I’ve known many workplace bullies who committed crimes such as theft, embezzlement, and forgery because they lived way beyond their means and got their butts in a crack they couldn’t get out of. And they got caught!

2. They put on a good show. Seasoned bullies are also the best showmen. They put on an act to gain admiration, support, or sympathy. They make grand gestures. They’re good at reading people and finding out their likes and dislikes and how they react to certain stimuli. They make themselves constantly hyperaware of the people and moods around them, then adapt to them.

You’ll often find these bullies standing in the very center of even room they’re in, and they’re the types who despise being outshone, outsmarted, or outdone.

3. They’re master wordsmiths. They use dumb clichés, euphemisms, and loaded words to impress others with their speech. They also use big words to prove how smart they are when, in reality, they’re as incompetent as they come. They also tell people what they want to hear and say everything with conviction. This is why they’re such convincing liars and why they’re so good at making the target look like the bad guy.

But here’s something else you need to know:

Although seasoned bullies are very popular among people, they’re also hated and feared by rivals and enemies. And they do eventually get brought down. I’ve seen it happen many times.

Julius Caesar was one such example.

“Caesar had his Brutus and Charles I, his Cromwell…” – Patrick Henry.