Tag: self-sabotage

Bullying and The Fear of Success

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This may sound counterintuitive. However, many targets fear success. It’s true! And it’s because they fear provoking the jealousies and insecurities of their bullies. They are afraid that the bullies will only bully them worse if they accomplish anything and receive recognition for it.

Moreover, the target may be afraid of losing what friends he has, if he has any at all. Sadly, this fear can cause them to stop pursuing their dreams and to hide their special talents and gifts.

Understand that the road to success is never easy and that, yes, your relationships will change. However, anything great requires sacrifice. In that, when you reach success, you will lose a few friends. But realize that the friends you lose were never really your friends. Otherwise, they would be happy for you.

Friends Who Don’t Want You to Succeed are Dead Weight!

The fear of success breeds self-sabotage. Also, as you get closer and closer to your goals, and accumulate more successes, you might find that your fear will dissipate.

Additionally, and more importantly, realize that restricting your success won’t necessarily make others accept you. Why? Because people, especially your bullies, will find other things to nitpick. Remember that bullies are notorious for moving the goalposts.

Success will bring change, no doubt about it. However, you’ll have the freedom to strive toward greatness and enjoy new and more rewarding experiences. So, don’t hold yourself back just to win the approval of others, especially those who don’t deserve to be in your life.

You Don’t Need Approval from the Wrong People

You must realize that there are some people who aren’t even worth your consideration and do not deserve a place in your circle. Therefore, see yourself as the prize whose approval is worth winning.

Stop seeking others’ approval. Instead, fix it to where they must seek yours. And how you do that is to not give two shits what a few others think of you. Once you master the art of not caring, not only will you switch the power dynamic, but you’ll feel much better about going after your successes. Therefore, you won’t be afraid of losing a few friends who are probably nothing but dead weight in your life anyway.

And here’s a positive way you can look at it. Anytime you lose friends without a justifiable reason, it just might be that God is trimming the fat from your circle.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Your Inner Bully- Why You Should Ignore It

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PTSD

It’s true that, in most cases, we are our own worst critics and enemies. We get in our own way, sabotaging our own successes. Then, we wonder why we’re always stuck.

It’s because we listen to that nagging, bitchy voice that tells us we “can’t do it.” That we’re “going to fail epically.” We give too much attention to that taunting voice that laughs at our dreams and aspirations.

Here are a few reasons why we should pay that inner bully voice no mind:

1. It sabotages us. Thoughts have a way of becoming things and circumstances and they will only cause us to miss out on opportunities and flub our goals.

 2. It serves us no purpose. That negative voice is a waste of time and will only keep you stuck if you’re not careful.

 3. We might just end up believing it. What we believe, we become, and, as mentioned in number one, that evil voice only serves to sabotage and derail you from your goals and dreams.

 4. It trashes our self-esteem. Over time, that voice will erode your self-esteem and steal away your confidence and peace of mind. Once your confidence is gone, bad things begin to happen. As Ralph Waldo Emerson quoted, “If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.”

Here is what happens when we listen to our inner bully:

1. We put too much pressure on ourselves to meet standards that are unattainable.

2. We think we need a slew of friends to feel well-liked.

3. We think we need to be filthy rich to feel valuable.

4. We think we need to be ½ of a couple.

5. We live in the past or future instead of enjoying the present.

Most targets of bullying are especially bad for this and the only thing it does is make them feel worse about themselves. But, as humans, the inner bully is our default mind setting. We all have that inner voice that cuts us down to size.

Fortunately, there are things you can do about it. Isn’t it time you gave your inner bully the boot?

freedom

Replace that nagging voice in your head with that of a loving friend.

Replace the negative thoughts with those that are positive.

Train that inner voice to say positive things instead of negative.

Granted, this will be a difficult thing to do because your mind will fight you every step of the way. But when we catch ourselves thinking negative thoughts and replace them with thoughts that are positive, we will slowly rewire our brains until it finally becomes natural. What this is doing is creating new neural pathways and once those pathways are complete, you will naturally think more positively.

With knowledge comes empowerment!