Tag: School Bullying

School Bullying

inciting bullying behavior

Inciting Bullying

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‘Want to know about inciting bullying and how bullies do it? Here are all the dirty details you need to know.

inciting bullying

Not only do bullies love to bully you personally. They also like to incite bullying between you and others. Therefore, in this post, you will learn what inciting bullying looks like.

Once you learn all about these vital details, it will save you a lot of trouble because you will be able to head it off before you get sucked into the drama.

This post is all about what inciting bullying looks like so that you can recognize it when it happens to you. And you can stop it before it starts.

Inciting bullying

So, what tactics do bullies use to incite bullying? Here is a list of them.

1. Baiting you into an altercation with someone else.

Bullies will often bait you into a confrontation with someone outside the bully/victim relationship. Here are several reasons:

  • To create a situation where they can watch gleefully as someone else reams you out.
  • Turning others against you.
  • Creating drama and entertainment
  • To parade you in front of an audience
  • Distracting attention from their own evil deeds. In other words, if others are too busy fighting each other, they’re too occupied to pay attention to what the bullies are doing.
  • To isolate you by making you look like the bad guy. The more people they can turn against you, the worse you look, and the less power you have.

When this happens, those who your bullies pit against you will start their sentences off as:

  • “Hey! I heard you’re trying to get with my boyfriend!”
  • “Somebody told me that you did…”
  • “I heard you told so-and-so such and such!”
  • “Somebody told me you’re talking smack about me behind my back! How about having the guts to say it to my face!”

Did you notice the first two to three words in each of the bulleted sentences?

Here are your First Clues of Inciting Bullying.

This is what happens when a bully instigates conflict between you and someone you don’t usually have trouble with. The first words out of your accuser’s mouth will be,

  • “I heard…”,
  • “Somebody told me…”
  • “It’s going around that…”
    or
  • “It was brought to my attention…”

Those first few little words are your first clues of incitement. In other words, one or more of your bullies is trying to pit these people against you.

The Correct Way to Respond

Therefore, if you face this scenario, laugh at the accuser and use one of the comebacks below.

“Really? Have you heard? You’re  so gullible you’ll believe anything, won’t you?”
“Wow! And you believed that? Boy, are you a moron!”
“Gee, you’ll fall for anything, won’t you!”

Challenge your accuser’s intelligence, then walk away laughing. You will stun your accuser. And you will sorely disappoint your bullies, who will surely be watching from afar.

How I wish I were this quick in school. However, as an adult, I am better able to defuse it with the above counterstatements.

Always imply that your accuser is a fool for believing the lies. I guarantee that the person will back down. Moreover, the bullies will think twice about trying to sow discord a second time.

It worked for me.

2. Inciting Bullying:

The Secret Admirer Bait

Your bullies will use this to bait someone to insult and humiliate you. And they’ll usually do it when there’s a big crowd around to see it.

Here’s how it Works:

Your bullies and a few classmates or coworkers will spot you in the parking lot. This is where large crowds usually gather there between classes or during breaks. You’ll be nearby and within earshot.

If you happen to be a female, the bullies will point to a nearby male and say,

“Hey, (your name)! John said he was madly in love with you!”
John will then get on the defensive and say,
“Oh, hell, no! I don’t like that ugly thing!” or, “That whore? No freakin’ way!”

Therefore, by doing this, your bullies slyly bait John into a knee-jerk reaction. And he will insult and humiliate you. The bullies achieve gratification by seeing John disrespect you.

Moreover, the icing on the cake is that he did it loudly, in front of an audience.

The secret admirer bait is mainly used in middle and high school. However, immature adults also use it against victims at work.

If this happens, deal out a good burn for the dummy who allowed themselves to be used by your bullies. You can say something like,

“No chance. I could never be that desperate, and you could never get that lucky.”

Then keep walking. They’ll deflate like a popped balloon.

Your witty comeback will sting the poor sucker who took the bully’s bait and tried to insult you. But hey! Better them than you. Right?

It’s always best to have a few good burns lined up and filed away, just in case someone decides to get cute. So, be prepared. Always find a good way to defend yourself.

3. Inciting Bullying:

The Invitation bait

In this situation, the bullies will, all of a sudden and out of nowhere, become chummy with you. They’ll pretend to have a change of heart. However, they do this to bring down your defenses and win your trust.

After they’ve won your trust, the bullies will invite you to a party, cookout, sleepover, or kegger. And, once they lure you there, they will set you up for a physical attack or humiliation.

Furthermore, they may even encourage you to drink alcohol or do drugs. Then, once they get you drunk or high, they may manipulate you into some compromising situations. Both school-aged and adult bullies use this little tactic.

Here are the signs to look for.

  • Sudden change of heart.
  • Overly friendly.
  • Excessive flattery.
  • You get the feeling that something is off.

No one ever becomes true friends overnight. Bullies will suddenly start to buddy up to you. And it will seem to come out of nowhere. Moreover, your gut will nag the hell out of you.

Pay attention because these are red flags!

Also, your bullies will lay the flattery on thick! They’ll overdo the pleasantries. Moreover, it will sound so sickeningly sweet that you’ll want to grab a barf bag.

Know that bullies are very convincing. If you’re young and still in school, you might overlook the yuck if you aren’t careful.

The best thing to do is steer clear! Why? Because the creeps are up to no good. Don’t go anywhere with them. Because once you’re alone with them, you’re at their mercy!

The more you stir shit, the more it stinks. And the more it stinks, the more they like it. Bullies are notorious for sowing discord among others. They can’t seem to get enough drama. In fact, they thrive on it.

Inciting Bullying:

Sowing discord is done in politics.

Understand people sow discord in politics all the time. In fact, it’s what the media is best at. It is called the Divide-and-Conquer strategy. And sadly, it works.

The next time someone tries to turn you against a friend or tries to turn a friend against you, ask yourself. Who would the division benefit most? You, your friend, or the instigator?

4. Gossip

Not only do gossip and smear campaigns lower your social standing, but they also benefit bullies. It tightens their group connections. It confers higher status on those privy to negative information.

Moreover, it sets expectations and norms within the group for how they should treat you.

Through petty talk, the group establishes, maintains, or changes social infrastructures. Gossip promotes unity and shared negative perceptions of you.

While using it, the group will foster justification for hostility. Therefore, no one in the group considers their actions as bullying. They will only say that you “deserve it” and say they were reacting to “an evil enemy.”

They tell others to keep it a secret. However, they also ask them to inform the group of any updates about you.

Realize that gossip reinforces bullies’ perceptions that their views and treatment of you are correct.

Inciting Bullying:

What Gossipers do to cover their gossip.

Gossipers will often cover their bad behavior with a slight confession of guilt. They begin their sentences with things like,

  • “I know I shouldn’t say this, but…”
  • “Poor thing…”
  • “Bless her heart…”

They will acknowledge that you’re a human being. However, they’ll only do it because it gives them the green light to keep talking. Also, it helps them to feel less like the creeps they are.

5. Influencing OTHERS’ Memories

As rumors and lies spread from person to person, people will distort any truth. Moreover, these details have a way of being inserted into others’ memories.

There have been cases of burglaries where the homeowners “thought they saw” an unarmed burglar with a gun. But there was no gun. In these cases, people don’t lie on purpose.

They actually “remember” seeing a gun in the criminal’s hand. And the reason they remember it so plainly is that they’ve heard and talked about it so much. Therefore, it caused their brains to fill in the blanks with the details they heard.

Another reason for false memories is that when bullies ask questions such as,

  • “Did you see her do this?”
  • “Did you hear him say that?”

They only suggest that she did do this, or that he did say that. It’s the Power of Suggestion at work.

It’s easy to influence people’s memories by presenting something in a particular way. The memory adjusts itself according to a person’s stereotypes and expectations.

People notice what they expect to see. In other words, their memories depend on social expectations —what they expect you to do, not what they are actually doing.

Understand that memories are mistaken and can be falsified. And whether accurate or make-believe, once it becomes a memory, there’s no way to tell the difference.

Inciting Bullying:

Playing Messenger

If you are already having trouble with another person, your bullies may fan the flames to make the situation worse. For instance, the person may be giving you trouble because they want to fit in with the bullies.

You may be angry and embarrassed. You may tell your friend what a piece of garbage the person is. And your bullies may eavesdrop on your conversation.

As a result, they overhear it and run back to the other person with what you just said about them. And the next thing you know, the person you are into it with wants to fight you for running your mouth behind their back.

Never mind that you were confiding in your closest friend. The bullies will conveniently leave that part out. It won’t matter that you were only getting stuff off your chest and confiding in a friend.

The only thing that will matter is that you said something bad about them. Therefore, they want to get even with you for it. When you know the many ways bullies try to get others to bully you and instigate drama, you’ll be one step ahead.

In closing

Incitement is the best way for bullies to get others involved. They rally everyone else together against you. Moreover, they do this by instilling outrage and whipping them into a frenzy.

If bullies can promote solidarity among everyone else, they can isolate you. And once you’re isolated, it’s almost impossible to have support. Therefore, know how bullies incite others to attack you, and you will be better able to recognize it and protect yourself.

This post was all about inciting bullying so that you can recognize it when it happens and protect YOURSELF.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Instigation: 3 Ways Bullies Sow Discord Between You and Others 

2. Sowing Discord: A Powerful Weapon of the Social Bully

3. Baiting: 5 Ways Bullies Bait You Into a Reaction

4. Signs of a Smear Campaign: 3 Indicators of Relational Bullying

low self-esteem synonym

Low Self-Esteem: 11 Easy and Effective Ways to Overcome It

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‘Want to know all the easy and effective ways to overcome low self-esteem? Here are all the crucial steps you need to know.

low self-esteem

Low self-esteem can destroy your life. Self-esteem can determine your entire life’s trajectory.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about low self-esteem, how to overcome it, and how to regain confidence.

Once you learn these vital details, you will be motivated to take the steps needed to raise your self-esteem and become confident and assured.

This post is all about low self-esteem, its roots, and how you can become more confident and improve your life.

Low Self-Esteem

Often, low self-esteem isn’t your fault. It is caused. Depending on how you were raised, sometimes your self-esteem can take a beating. And, over time, it can accumulate. Here are ways to overcome low self-esteem and regain confidence.

1. Change your environment.

Sometimes, the problem isn’t you. It’s the people around you. In a toxic environment, there are things that will kill your self-esteem. You have those who benefit from your self-doubt. They may give you constant criticism.

Also, they may attack you with ridicule disguised as jokes. They may also point out a physical flaw and body shame you. It’s difficult for self-love to survive constant disrespect.

Therefore, if you suffer bullying and you’ve tried everything to make it stop, it may be best to just leave. Flowers won’t bloom when all they receive is rain. Therefore, it’s best to move them to a better environment.

I realize that this isn’t always feasible. However, if you can, get out of the environment. You’ll be glad you did. I promise you.

2. Establish boundaries.

With every boundary you set, you say to yourself and everyone else, “I matter.” Therefore, you must have boundaries if you want respect. Examples of setting boundaries are saying, “No.”

Or, you can say, “I’m not comfortable with that.” Another part of setting them is not feeling the need to explain anything

When you set boundaries, you allow others to be angry, disappointed, or upset. And you don’t give a damn about it.

Moreover, you drop anyone who disrespects you. Why? Because you refuse to betray yourself “just to keep the peace.”

3. Low Self-Esteem:

Find something you’re good at and practice it.

Learn a skill you love, then practice consistently. Teach what you know to someone else. You see? When you know you’re good at something and you enjoy doing it, you will practice it.

As you practice, you’ll get better at it. As a result, your self-esteem will rise. This will serve as a buffer to any bully who tries to tear you down.

4. Take care of your body.

In other words, eat right and exercise. Taking care of your health also benefits your self-esteem. Moreover, you should practice good grooming, dressing, and hygiene.

Taking care of yourself also means getting plenty of rest. It helps when you feel good.

5. Low Self-Esteem:

Practice self-compassion.

When you give yourself compassion, you acknowledge the pain. This doesn’t mean you dwell on it. However, it does mean allowing yourself to feel your emotions.

Also, you forgive yourself for the behaviors you did just to survive. Realize that there were times when you didn’t have any choice. It was either do that thing you didn’t want to do or bullies would hurt you worse.

So, never beat yourself up for it. And forgive yourself for past mistakes. Mistakes are how we learn.

6. Know your worth.

When you seek approval, you only help your bullies destroy your self-esteem. Shift your mindset from “Do they like me?” to “Do I like them?”

Know that you count just as much as everyone else. And, so do your thoughts and opinions.

Low Self-Esteem:

Here are ways to reclaim your worth.

Define your values. In other words, figure out what they are. Then hold on to them no matter what others say.

Decide what matters to you. If it’s family, self-care, and your faith, be proud of that. And don’t allow anyone to shame you for it.

Also, you must be okay with being disliked. This is a biggie! Some people aren’t going to like you no matter what you do. Therefore, should you really care about that? They don’t matter.

So, focus on those who do.

Don’t be afraid of rejection. It’s a part of life. And life is not a popularity contest.

7. Do things that build your confidence.

One thing you can do is face your fears. Speak even when you’re afraid to. Take risks. Try even if there’s a chance that you’ll fail.

Display your talents and gifts. This is very important!

8. Low Self-Esteem:

Get support from those who love you.

Talk to trusted family members and friends. Get therapy. Go to support groups. Keep a daily journal. Read books and listen to podcasts on self-esteem and self-worth.

9. Heal.

You may have suffered bullying. Others may have constantly criticized you. You may have been punished for speaking up.

However, understand this. You are not how you were treated. So, don’t beat yourself up over any trauma responses. If you froze instead of standing up for yourself when you were attacked, make peace with it.

Forgive yourself for any fawning or people-pleasing you might have done to survive.

10. Build your self-trust.

When you trust yourself, you only grow your self-esteem. Building trust in yourself means finishing what you start. Moreover, it means keeping your promises to yourself.

Also, stop saying yes to bullies when you really want to say no. Listen to and act on your gut instincts, rather than ignoring them. And don’t punish yourself for mistakes; learn from them. Confidence comes from experience.

11. Low Self-Esteem: Chance your inner self-talk.

Negative self-talk is the biggest enemy to self-esteem. Therefore, notice your automatic thoughts (“I’m a failure.” “No one will ever love me.”).

Then, challenge them. Ask yourself, “Is this a fact or something some asshole told me?”

Name the voice. (“That’s my inner bully talking.” or “That’s my abusive ex talking.” or “That’s what my dad used to say to me when I was a child.”) The trick is to catch the negative self-talk and turn it into a positive one.

You should talk to yourself the way you would talk to someone you love. It won’t be easy. In fact, it will feel awkward at first.

However, the more you do this, the more natural it will feel until it becomes like second nature. So, start doing this today!

12. Befriend others who are bullied.

Many victims of bullying make this mistake. They bully others who are even weaker than they are. Then, they wonder why they have difficulty making friends.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to befriend others who are bullied. Why? Because you will automatically have something in common with them. And common ground is the best ingredient for friendship.

Remember that they’re lonely too. And they could use a good friend who will have their backs against bullies. That person can be you. Also, it will work wonders for your self-esteem.

Strength comes in numbers. Therefore, become friends with as many victims as possible. Then you can stand up for each other, and you won’t feel so alone in this.

13. Low Self-Esteem:

Cut ties with toxic people.

If you have people in your life who bring you nothing but drama, it’s time to cut ties. This may not be easy. However, when it comes to your mental well-being, walking away from those who mistreat you is paramount.

Know that you don’t deserve to be abused. You are just as good as everyone else. And you have the right not to be harmed. Therefore, sometimes it’s best just to walk away.

In closing

Low self-esteem is a plague that is sweeping the globe. And many do not know how to repair it. It seems that a good majority of the population has been trained to take shit off people and not to defend themselves.

Therefore, you must reject everything that you’ve been taught about how to handle bullying. Then retrain the self-preservation instincts that you were born with. Also, you must get to know yourself again.

Moreover, you must know all the signs that your self-esteem is beginning to wane. This is how you overcome low self-esteem.

If you’re being bullied, bullies may turn others against you. However, you don’t have to let them turn you against yourself. The trick is to refuse to see yourself through their eyes.

You must continue to love yourself even if everyone else hates you. 

There is a wealth of resources that can help you repair your self-esteem. You can order books or read articles that will teach you. Therefore, take advantage of the knowledge that is out there.

Why? Because knowledge is power. And it’s something that no one can ever take from you. Self-esteem can be your armor against bullies. Knowledge of bullying is your shield. And self-defense is your sword.

Begin practicing the above tips, and you will be on your way to overcoming bullying.

This post was all about low self-esteem so that you can take the steps you need to repair it and take back your power.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Low Self-Esteem Causes: 3 Things that Crush Your Confidence

2. Signs of Low Self-Esteem and How to Correct It

3. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

4. How to Love Yourself when Everyone Hates You  

facts about bullying in school

Facts About Bullying

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Want to know all the facts about bullying? Here is everything you need to know.

facts about bullying

There are certain facts about bullying that you must know before you can overcome it. These truths will encourage you to stand up to bullying and overcome it. How does she know, you may ask. Because they did me.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the crucial facts about bullying so you can stand up and defend yourself.

Once you learn all about these life-changing truths, you will be encouraged to take care of yourself and take back your power.

This post gives you all the facts about bullying that you need to gather the courage to stand up to it and take your life back.

Facts about Bullying

Before you can gather the courage to stand up to bullying, there are hard truths you need to know. These are facts that I had to learn the hard way. So, let’s dive right in!

Here they are.

1. Bullying and freedom cannot coexist.

Bullying and personal freedom can never coexist. Why? Because bullying is zero-sum. Always. When you suffer from bullying, it’s akin to being held hostage.

In essence, they bind and gag you. In short, they take away your personal power! And without that power, you have no freedom.

Either you’re free to be yourself, or people bully you for it. You either have personal power or people bully you and take it away.

Freedom means being free to be a human being and make mistakes. It also means being allowed to learn from those mistakes. However, when people constantly bully you for those things, that’s not freedom. It’s enslavement.

Instead, they brutally punish you for making mistakes that anyone else could’ve made. Moreover, anyone else would have gotten a pass because all humans make mistakes.

2. Facts about Bullying:

It takes away your humanity.

When you’re bullied, there’s no margin for error. On the other hand, if you’re fortunate enough to be on equal footing with everyone else around you, you have that luxury.

Others will look at you and realize that we’re all imperfect humans. Therefore, they’ll cut you some slack.

Understand that bullying dehumanizes you. Others either see you as a human being or they don’t. Bullying will strip you of any shred of humanity.

It renders you sub-human in the minds of not only bullies but, in many cases, bystanders.

Moreover, this process can happen quickly, in as little as a few months. Bullies bully you so frequently that bystanders grow accustomed to it and become desensitized.

And why not? They watch them brutalize you every day, sometimes several times per day.

3. No one likes a victim of bullying.

 It’s a fact. No one respects a victim. No one likes a victim.

In your mind, you may not be a victim but a target. And that’s a good thing. However, because others see you being beaten down all the time, they will view you as a victim.

And most people don’t have the critical thinking skills to know the difference.

Therefore, you must document everything that happens in detail. Or you must find a way to leave the bullying environment. Otherwise, if it goes on long enough, it will take a toll on your mental health.

Your mental health is important here. You must take steps to reclaim your freedom.

4. Facts about Bullying:

You can never appease a bully.

Never! No matter what you do to satisfy the bullies. You may tell them what they want to hear. You may submit to them. And sure, they may go away and leave you alone. But only for the time being.

That small reprieve bullies give you will always be short-lived.

Why? Because your submission has always worked. It gave your bullies what they want. In your submission, you are rewarding their behavior.

You may have told them what they want to hear. Or you could have let them cheat off you during an exam. Maybe you allowed them to take credit for your idea

Nevertheless, you rewarded their behavior. Therefore, they will always come back for more. And the same goes whether you endure bullying in school, the workplace, or in your community.

Additionally, your bullies get psychological rewards from your having to constantly tiptoe around them. Why? Because it gives them a sense of power and domination.

Bullying is all about power… raw power! And they will never give that up. Not without a fight!

5. Facts about Bullying:

You can never submit your way out of being Bullied.

I cannot stress this enough. Again, you can never appease a bully. Any attempts to do so will only have the opposite effect.

Trying to appease a bully only makes you appear weak. It then emboldens them to come back for more later. Why? Because it is what has been working for them all along!

You will spend years jumping through hoops. You will bend yourself into a pretzel. And you will be stuck, wondering when your bullies will be back in your face again.

This is no way to live. Life is too short to waste one second being an emotional slave to someone else.

Eventually, you will need to take a hard stand before they will finally leave you alone. The last thing you want is to spend the rest of your life being someone else’s doormat.

The only way to stop being bullied is to buck up!

You must get tired of it and confront them head-on when they come for you. Speak out against them, to their faces, if need be. And when you say it, say it bluntly and mean it!

Then, if they respond with physical threats and violence, be ready to hit back and defend yourself.

Sometimes it takes a final showdown before your bullies will finally give you the respect you deserve. Do you remember the movie “Tombstone”?

A band of bullies had terrorized an entire boom town. They killed one Earp brother and wounded another. Afterwards, Wyatt Earp and his buddies made their final stand.

They hunted down each member of the Cowboys gang. And they all but eradicated them, which eventually led to their disbandment.

This is not to say you should hunt down your bullies, but you get the point.

6. Facts about Bullying:

Bullies thrive on your fear of retaliation and further harm.

Your fear of retaliation and suffering further harm is understandable. It is a natural human response to danger. So, in no way am I blaming you for it.

However, realize that your bullies thrive on your perfectly normal fear response. And they will exploit it every chance they get! And why not?

Your fear has thus far gotten them what they want. It has rewarded your bullies both psychologically and, more than likely, materially. So, why would they stop now or ever, for that matter?

Understand that rewards feel good! And if it feels good, humans want more and more of it! So, again, why would your bullies stop trying to get more of it?

Moreover, why would they stop doing the very things to you that have proved to be successful?

Human nature dictates that your bullies will always come back for more rewards! And they will return to the source of the rewards (you). Moreover, they will repeat the same methods that have enabled them to attain those rewards.

For example, a prospector finds a gold mine loaded with gold. There’s nothing to stop him from stealing it. Therefore, he’s not going to stop mining for it just because there’s more gold in it than he can carry.

No. He’s going to return to the mine later to get more gold. Consequently, if there’s no barrier to stop him, he will keep going back until there’s no more gold left in the mine.

Facts about Bullying:

if there’s more free gold in the mine, why not go back for it?

People are greedy like that. Bullies are no exception to this rule when it comes to power. You are the goldmine, and your personal power is the gold.

Each time they return, they will chip away at your self-esteem more and more to get that gold. Therefore, the trick here is to stop supplying “the gold.”

There’s a reason for boundaries.

Stop rewarding their behavior and set boundaries! Remember that mine owners usually had armed guards posted to prevent greedy prospectors from robbing them.

The guards are the boundaries for the mine. They protect the mine by keeping the robbers out.

Also, nations have boundaries to keep out foreign invaders. And people should have them as well to ward off others who would otherwise use and abuse them.

These Facts about Bullying will make you angry – at yourself!

In most cases, realizing these truths will make you angry. Then, you will grow so sick of being crapped on.

You’ll be angry with yourself for having allowed them to abuse you for so long. Also, you will reach the point where you stop caring how the bullies respond.

In other words, you will be willing to face the possibility of getting beaten within an inch of your life. However, you won’t care anymore. Damn the consequences!

Your attitude will be, “They may whip me, but I’ll go down swinging and get a few good licks in! I’ll leave a few marks on them, and they’ll know I’ve been there!”

You will be so furious that you’ll flatly refuse to live in fear any longer, come what may.

7. Facts about Bullying:

Bullies only understand strength and power. They do not understand reason, diplomacy, nor politeness.

You cannot handle bullies with kid gloves. In other words, there are no nice or polite ways to deal with them. You cannot be nice when setting boundaries.

Bullies only see niceties, pleasantries, and politeness as weaknesses to exploit and manipulate. They do not respect you for having those things.

Also, you can never reason with bullies. Bullies only perceive any form of diplomacy and reasoning to be signs of weakness.

Therefore, you must communicate with your bullies in the only language they understand. You must meet them exactly where they are. When you set your boundaries, do so firmly and bluntly. And mean it!

You cannot just set boundaries and expect your bullies to respect them. You must also enforce those boundaries with consequences because bullies will see this as a challenge. And you can best believe they will rise to that challenge.

In other words, they will violate your newly established boundaries. And they’ll do it to dare you and to prove that they can. Also, they may try to gaslight you.

That’s when you impose harsh consequences. And when you do, make sure that the consequences are severe enough to make them stop!

The consequences must be so severe that your bullies won’t even want to look in your direction again, much less mess with you.

Facts about Bullying:

You must speak from a position of power and strength.

To put it figuratively, unleash hellfire and put the fear of God in them! Think Hiroshima and Nagasaki after the Pearl Harbor attack. Japan never attacked us again afterwards.

We eventually won their respect, and they became one of our closest friends. And we continue to be friends with Japan today.

Here it is, in a nutshell. When you’re dealing with bullies, it’s either put up or shut up.

In Closing

 The bullying you suffer may get worse before it gets better. Why? Because bullies always fight the hardest when they know they’re losing their power over you.

Therefore, don’t give up. Stick to your guns. And know that eventually, after you severely school your bullies enough times, they will eventually get the message. They will give up and go find another chump to jerk around.

This will be very difficult, if not terrifying. However, if you don’t want to waste years tiptoeing around bullies, you must realize these facts. These aren’t opinions, they’re facts.

These essential truths were the ones I had to realize before I could muster the courage to defend myself. Then, I could finally put a stop to the years-long nightmare I was living in.

THis post gave you all the facts about bullying so that you will be emboldened to stand up for yourself once and for all.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

2. Opinions are Not Facts: 7 Reasons Those of Bullies Don’t Matter

3. Why People Reward Bullies

4. Bullying and Gaslighting: 7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims

5. Facts About Respect: 9 Time-Tested Truths You Must Know

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Self-Esteem in Children: 3 Powerful Ways to Build a Child’s Self-Esteem

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Self-esteem in children today is at its lowest. Here are powerful tips to help you build your child’s self-esteem.

self-esteem in childrenBullying can be devastating to a child’s self-esteem. The damage can last a lifetime. It can have a negative effect on their progress even into adulthood.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to build self-esteem in children so we can raise a generation of kids who are strong and confident.

Once you learn about these confidence-building techniques, your child will have more confidence than they ever thought. Even better, they will be able to stand up to bullies and take back their power.

This post is all about self-esteem in children and how to turn young victims of bullying into powerful forces that drive bullies away.

Self-Esteem in Children

Children’s self-esteem is at an all-time low today. And it’s because bullying is at an all-time high.

No, it isn’t your fault.

You and your child are innocent in this, but you still must do some damage control.

The parents of bullies won’t teach them kindness and empathy. Therefore, you must teach your children the confidence to stand up to bullies.

I hate to say this, but you don’t get out of this without some degree of responsibility. No, it isn’t fair. However, nothing in life ever is.

You must do most of the confidence-building work with your child.

 As a parent of a bullied child, you still have to take action. You must do your part to help your children build their confidence so they can flourish.

Confidence is one of the best things you can teach your child.

Teaching targets confidence involves teaching them to look within for their validation. In other words, you must teach your child never to look to bullies or anyone else to confirm their worth.

The best way to do this is to create experiences that balance out the negative experiences at school. To neglect this work would be devastating for our children!

Self-Esteem in Children:

How to Create Positive Experiences for your child.

Raising your child’s self-esteem won’t be easy, especially if other kids bully them at school. So, what are the easiest ways to do it?

1. give them opportunities to make friends outside their toxic school environment.

For instance, they can join a martial arts class, a scout troop, or go to summer camp. There are so many options available for bullied children to forge lasting friendships.

You will be amazed at just how it will help build their self-esteem.

Yes, kind words, encouragement, and verbal reinforcement are important. But giving them the positive experiences that back them up will work doubly well.

Why? Because it will serve as confirmation that they really are good and normal kids.

So, give your bullied child fun, positive experiences they can look back on. They will thank you for it later! I guarantee it!

Self-Esteem in Children:

Why It’s So Important for Targets to Meet New People Outside the Bullying Environment

If you’ve ever been a target of bullying, meeting new people can be paralyzing. I can relate because I’ve been there. It’s easy to withdraw from social situations because you’re afraid of rejection.

After all, it seems that everyone else you know already has. And you don’t want to risk it happening again.

However, never be afraid to meet new people. Why? Because they are opportunities for you to make friends and allies.

Total strangers are the best people to meet and establish connections with. They make the best potential friends because you have no history with them.

They don’t know you from the bullying environment. Therefore, you aren’t a target to them and likely never will be.

With total strangers, you can start from scratch. You have opportunities to put your best foot forward and make it count.

So, when you meet someone new, don’t be shy or nervous. Find out what you have in common with the person and establish common ground.

Be genuinely interested in the person. People love those who are interested in them and their lives. Make small talk and show them the awesome person you can be.

I promise you that you’ll be glad you did. And your self-esteem will shoot up tenfold!

Self-Esteem in Children:

Finding That Healthy Balance Between Positive and Negative Experiences

Everyone has both positive and negative experiences with others. This can determine the level of confidence and self-esteem.

The trick is to keep the positive either equal to or higher than the negative. Many bullied children feel hopeless. Why?

Because they’ve had so many negative experiences with people. As a result, any positive experiences they once had became irrelevant.

2. Think of self-esteem as a bank account.

If others bully a child nonstop for long enough, they can delete their positive experiences.

If you’re a parent of bullied children, you must deposit “money” into their bank accounts every day. And you must do it with words of encouragement and love.

You also contribute by teaching them confidence. Again, you must create plenty of positive experiences for them. And those positive experiences must outnumber the negative ones they get from bullies at school.

Only then will the self-esteem be prepared, and the victimized child begin to regain that confidence.

Once you restore your child’s confidence, they will be better able to stand up to bullies. And they just might cease to be a victim.

Talking about it and getting it out in the open does help with healing. However, it only does so much.

To keep their self-esteem from tanking, you must help them create positive social connections. Therefore, help them establish friendships outside of the bullying environment.

It will help them create wonderful memories. And that is the best kind of therapy there is.

3. Self-Esteem in Children:

Be a good listener.

Encourage the target to open up about the bullying at school. Be there for them when they are sad. Put your arm around them and provide them plenty of love and assurance.

Be supportive.

Add that with the other two tips, and you have a sure-fire way to restore their confidence.

Here’s why you must build your child’s self-esteem as early as possible.

We Are What We Think

You’ve heard the quote, “You are what you eat.” It’s the same with your thought processes. You are also what you think.

Victims of school bullying can start off as confident and outgoing kids. However, after years of bullying and abuse, they become insecure and withdrawn.

Sometimes, they can turn against themselves. They began to think that they aren’t worthy of anything good in life.

They stop believing in their own good qualities. Moreover, they no longer think they’ll ever be loved or accepted. And they feel that nothing will ever go right for them.

Sure enough, things soon begin to happen that match their thoughts and feelings. These poor kids began to fall out with friends and family. And they have back-to-back bad breaks.

Then, they develop feelings of self-loathing and end up alone, rejected, unsuccessful, and unlucky.

Self-Esteem in children:

Thought patterns determine outcomes.

You must realize that your thought patterns determine your outlook (attitude).

  • Outlook determines your decisions and behavior.
  • Your decisions and behavior determine your outcomes.
  • Your outcomes determine your life and the events that happen in it.
  • All this then reinforces your outlook or attitude.

This becomes a cycle, and cycles always repeat themselves.

Anytime you think a thought, you send a message. And, sooner or later, you get a response that matches. It always returns as an event, situation, or circumstance.

And once it becomes a vicious cycle in your life, it’s damn hard to break that cycle. Cycles can be broken. Yes. But it takes a lot of time, patience, and hard work.

The changes won’t happen overnight. And the reason is that, once a pattern is set, unseen forces will, at first, fight against any change you try to make.

Your subconscious mind has become comfortable with the way things are. And, just as most people hate change, so do higher powers.

In Closing

But know that if you keep building their confidence, their breakthrough will come eventually. It has to because they will refuse to give up. Teach them to know themselves and love themselves.

And be careful, they don’t let bullying influence how they think. You must fight like the devil to ensure that they hold on to their self-belief. Their lives and their trajectory depend on it!

If you help your child hold on to their positive attitude and sense of self,  you’ll save them a lot of time and hard work. Most of all, you’ll save them from a lot of pain and misery.

Bullying is the number one cause of low self-esteem in children. Just as you protect their physical health, you must also protect their mental health. It’s the only way they will be able to overcome bullying.

This post was all about self-esteem in children and ways to build your child’s self-esteem so that they can stand in their power and grow into healthy adults.

1. Low Self-Esteem Causes: 3 Things that Crush Your Confidence

2. How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem: 7 Easy Ways

3. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

4. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

5. Bullying by Teachers in School: 7 Steps to Protect Yourself

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What Can You Learn from Bullying? 15 Powerful Takeaways

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What can you learn from bullying? There are several things it will teach you, and you can find those life-lessons right here. However, you may not recognize the lessons until after the bullying ends and you become a survivor.

what can you learn from bullying

Bullying hurts, don’t get me wrong. It can be traumatic for many victims. However, there are takeaways you can get from it if you look for them.

In this post, you will learn the answers to the sometimes-asked question, “What can you learn from bullying?”

Once you learn about all these takeaways, you can feel much better about yourself. Moreover, you will be proud of yourself because you survived! More importantly, you overcame.

What can you learn from bullying? This post will give you all the answers.

What Can You Learn from Bullying?

Bullying sucks! I will be the first to agree with you. In fact, that’s the understatement of the century. Bullying is horrible.

However, as Katy Perry sang, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

You would be amazed at what you can learn from bullies. This may sound a bit strange to some. However, bullies can teach you a great deal about human nature and the evils of the world.

Yes, they can hurt you, but they can also teach you some of the most powerful life lessons. If you were ever a victim of bullying, it more than likely did the same for you.

It’s hard to look for the silver lining while bullies are bullying you. However, things change once you get away from your bullies, and the torment is over.

You regain a renewed sense of hope. Moreover, you see so much more clearly the lessons in what you had to endure.

So, what are the takeaways?

1. Bullying Teaches you how to detect bullshit.

Bullying can give you a finely tuned ability to smell bullshit from a mile away. If you’ve dealt with bullies and bullying long enough, you learn very quickly how to spot liars and fakes before you even talk to them.

And you learn it because your survival depends on it. I’m not only speaking from my own experiences. I’ve also heard the same from other survivors of bullying.

When you have experienced bullying, especially long-term, it has a way of giving you an almost psychic ability to see through people. Moreover, you can figure out their true motives and intentions.

All you have to do is carefully observe a large group. Then you can spot the fakes and troublemakers at lightning speed and with accuracy.

As for me, I don’t have to speak a word to anyone. All I have to do is stand back and watch.

What Can You Learn from Bullying?

When It’s a matter of survival, your brain learns something quickly and to near perfection.

For example, a person who loses his sight experiences a much keener sense of hearing. It’s the same with a victim or survivor of bullying.

They quickly grow the ability to read people like newspapers. Why? Out of sheer necessity. Many survivors can read body language like an FBI agent.

They can decipher the tiniest micro-expression. In fact, they can even pick up on the vibes others put out…especially negative ones.

When a specific skill is mandatory for your survival, nature gives you no choice but to hone that skill and use it to near perfection.

I consider this sixth sense to be a gift. And, this gift came at a heavy price. However, it was worth it in the end because it made me a better judge of character.

2. Compassion for the Underdog.

When you know what it is to be a victim of bullying, it teaches you empathy and compassion for others- especially the downtrodden.

You’ll more likely reach out and protect those who are bullied because you were there once. And you can’t stand the thought of anyone else enduring such pain.

Therefore, you make a point of extending kindness. And you do it primarily to people whom others have unjustly marginalized and misjudged.

As for me, I believe in spreading the same kindness to the janitor as I would to the CEO.

3. What Can You Learn from Bullying?

Greater Appreciation for those who love you.

Because you know what it is to be mistreated and alone, you never take anyone for granted. I’m no longer a victim of bullying. However, I have an awesome family and the most positive, fun circle of friends you’d ever want to meet.

And the same will be for you. When you’ve known what it’s like to be excluded and isolated, you don’t take your familial relationships or friendships for granted.

You make a point of being loyal to all of them. And you’ll stand behind them when the chips are down.

In fact, you consider your family, blood, and non-blood, wonderful blessings to your life. And you cherish them.

4. Clarity of what you will and will not tolerate.

After you’ve been bullied, you know never to be afraid to say “no.” You learn very quickly that it is crucial to set boundaries, or others will walk all over you.

And you find that out the hard way. Moreover, you learn that sometimes, even if you do, there will be those who will challenge those boundaries.

But you know to stay firm no matter what. You might be retaliated against for it, but at least you’ll feel better later. Knowing that you stood up for yourself gives you untold confidence.

As the old saying goes, “I’d rather die on my feet than live on my knees.”
Finding the lessons in bullying will make you a happier person later on. It did me!

Therefore, you will stand up to bullies without guilt. Why? Because you know that it’s okay to defend yourself when someone is harming you.

5. What Can You Learn from Bullying?

Bullies can give you the dogged determination to go after what you want in life.

Bullying can teach you to go after your goals and dreams. If there’s anything you want in life, you go after it.

Therefore, you work hard for what you want because you’ve gotten enough of what you don’t want. Being bullied can give you the tenacity to reach your goals and dreams.

As a result, you will make several accomplishments.  Moreover, these accomplishments would not have been possible if you had never experienced bullying.

If you let it, bullying will only fuel your motivation to achieve more and live a happy life. Therefore, instead of holding grudges against your bullies, use them as your drive to reach heights you never thought possible!

Happiness and success are the best revenge you can ever take.

6. A passion to help OTHER victims overcome bullying.

It puts you on a mission to tell your own story and speak out against injustice. Because you know what it’s like, you strive more to help others overcome bullying and abuse.

7. What Can You Learn from Bullying?

You learn the importance of self-care.

When you’re bullied, you learn the hard way that if you don’t love yourself, no one else will either. So, you make a point of taking care of yourself and treating yourself kindly.

Moreover, you treat yourself well by allowing others to treat you well. You do so by what you tolerate, and those you let into your life.

And you reinforce that by not being afraid to walk away if someone doesn’t treat you well.

8. you realize the importance of loving yourself, and being comfortable in your own skin.

You learn the importance of putting yourself first. No matter what anyone thinks or says, you continue to be true to yourself and to be yourself.

You don’t let bullies distort your self-esteem. Moreover, you don’t allow them to tell you “it isn’t cool” if there’s something you enjoy doing.

Instead, you take care of yourself and stand up for yourself. You do what fulfills you and makes you happy, and forget the rest.

Confidence and self-love are the most important things you can have. Those two qualities will give you the determination to love yourself and pursue what you want in life.

9. A strong desire to learn about human psychology and behavior.

Even now, I read every book about human psychology and behavior I can get my hands on. Being bullied lights a fire under you.

It gives you the desire to learn about human psychology and behavior, so you never become a victim again.

10. What Can You Learn from Bullying:

The will to protect other victims of bullying.

You’ll stand up for others who are being bullied. Again, because you know what it’s like to be mistreated, you wouldn’t want to see anyone else endure what you have.

Therefore, you take every opportunity to be someone’s hero and friend for life. This is one of the greatest lessons bullying can teach you.

11. To live life on your terms.

If nothing else, know this! You do not need anyone else’s permission to live your life the way you want. From the way you dress to the decisions you make, as long as you aren’t hurting anyone else, you can do as you please.

No one has the right to tell you what your lifestyle should be, how you dress, or when you speak. Therefore, you must exercise your autonomy daily to overcome bullying.

Your life is yours. Live it the way you choose.

12. It makes you selective of who you allow in your life.

Being selective means avoiding people who bring you drama. And if you look closely, you will know which people to avoid.

For instance, if you see people gossiping about someone, they will eventually talk about you. You know this. Therefore, you don’t need or want these kinds in your life.

Therefore, you will have the courage to get rid of toxic people without guilt or apology. You also forgive, but you do so without being foolish.

13. What Can You Learn from Bullying?

That everyone, even bullies, HAS problems.

You quickly learn that bullies always put on a front of having a perfect life. They use arrogance and cockiness to mask their feelings of inferiority.

I say this from experience because many of my bullies had alcoholic fathers. Many had drug-addicted mothers. Others had fathers who cheated on or beat their mothers.

Many of my classmates were being raised by single mothers who had a different man in their beds every night. Others had parents who neglected them and older siblings who abused them.

Several had a parent dealing drugs or one who was in and out of jail. Also, many had been sexually abused.

So, it was no wonder most of my classmates were so full of piss and vinegar?

14. To grow a thick skin.

Have you ever noticed how redundant bullies are? And have you noticed how they repeat the same worn-out insults?

It’s true that the crap they talk can hurt and hurt badly. However, bullies can repeat the same rubbish for so long that eventually, it loses its meaning.

And when something loses its meaning, it also loses its effectiveness. You get to a point where you don’t care what they call you anymore. Then, the taunts get boring, and your bullies become one big yawn.

15. What Can You Learn from Bullying?

The evils humans are capable of.

People can be the cruelest of all living things. Not everyone is inherently good. Being bullied teaches you to be on the lookout for those who secretly wish to harm your loved ones or you.

You learn to watch for enemies disguised as friends. Moreover, it teaches you to pay close attention to body language, expressions, and microflashes.

When you are the victim of bullying, you see the darkest side of humanity possible if you’re unlucky enough. You see things that those who aren’t targets would never see. And they will be things you won’t forget.

My classmates showed me the darkest and ugliest sides of human nature.

16. It teaches you the kind of person you never want to be.

You will watch bullies act arrogantly. You will also see them being loud and obnoxious. As a result, it will be a huge turn-off to you, and you will be glad you aren’t them.

It may not seem this way now. But it will later. I guarantee it!

17. What Can You Learn from Bullying?

That you are responsible for your own safety.

I learned early on that I was the only person responsible for my own safety, success, and future happiness, no one else! And I had to be willing to do whatever it took to bootstrap my way back up.

And it was the same with my other siblings. There were no freebies nor piggyback rides. The school didn’t help me. No one was coming to rescue me. So, I had to learn to stand up for myself.

Realize that no one is coming to rescue you. When bullies come after you, it’s up to you to defend yourself.

In closing, here is a quick summary of what bullying can teach you.

Life Lessons from Bullying:

Quick Summary

  • How to detect bullshit
  • Compassion for the underdog
  • Greater appreciation of the people who love you
  • Clarity of what you will and will not tolerate
  • Dogged determination to go after what you want in life
  • A passion to help other victims overcome bullying
  • A strong desire to learn about human psychology and behavior
  • The will to protect other victims of bullying
  • The courage to get rid of toxic people and live life on your terms
  • It makes you selective of who you allow in your life
  • That everyone, even bullies, has problems
  • To grow a thick skin
  • The evils humans are capable of
  • The kind of person you don’t want to be
  • That you are responsible for your own safety

Being the object of bullies is never fun. But if you look for the lessons in it, it can teach you so much. It gives you so many lessons about the messed-up world we live in.

Moreover, it teaches you about the dark side of human nature. And you learn to keep the faith and believe in yourself. You learn to love yourself and appreciate the people who love you.

You also gain the willingness to stand up for the people who aren’t able to defend themselves.
Know that you have the power to turn the abuse you suffer around for good. That’s what adult survivors of bullying do.

You can also turn the negatives into positives. Your pain today can become your power tomorrow! I guarantee it! Here are several other life lessons you can learn HERE.

What can you learn from bullying? This post gave you the answers so that you can look for the lessons and, most of all, feel better about yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Survivors of Bullying: How It Feels to Overcome 

2. Life Lessons from Bullying: 16 Powerful Takeaways to Remember

3. Adult Survivors of School Bullying: 19 Things They Do Differently

4. The Importance of Forgiveness

5. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

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The Best Revenge Against Bullies: What is It?

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‘Want to know the best revenge against bullies? Here’s the one thing that will hurt them more than anything you could ever do.

the best revenge against bullies

The best revenge against bullies isn’t about retaliation. It isn’t about getting payback. So, what is it? In this post, you will learn the best way to come out on top.

Once you learn what the best revenge against bullies really is, you will be more compelled to rise above your bullies the right way.

This post is all about what the best revenge against bullies really is, so you can do what you need to do to take care of yourself and live a peaceful life.

The Best Revenge Against Bullies

Let’s get into it. What is the best revenge against bullies? There are three ways to win against your bullies. Here they are.

1. Living a Peaceful Life

As the old saying goes, “living well is the best revenge.” And it’s one of the most factual statements you’ll ever hear or read.

When you live a peaceful and drama-free life, people, especially bullies, will despise that. Why? Because they want you miserable like they are. Therefore, they will do something to disrupt it.

The best way to avoid this and keep tranquility in your life is to avoid toxic people. This is the best way to prevent disruptive individuals from disrupting your peace.

2. Success.

Yes! You read this correctly! Success is, by far, the best revenge you can ever take against your bullies. Why? There are several reasons!

Most bullies believe that they are superior to you. Any time you make an achievement, they will see it as a threat to their power. Then, they will increase their attacks against you.

And they will do it not only to punish you, but also to keep you in your place. Therefore, it isn’t always safe to share your accomplishments.

Moreover, your bullies might convince others that you are bragging. In cases like this, please allow someone else to announce your success rather than doing so yourself.

And, again, sometimes it’s better to keep it quiet.

The Best Revenge Against Bullies:

Not everyone wants you to succeed.

You must realize that not everyone wants you to succeed. And this includes some of your closest friends.

Why? Because your success would force them to reflect on their own personal failures. If you’re a target of bullying, your bullies will be damned before they allow someone they see as inferior to reach success and overshadow them.

Bullies consider any success you enjoy as a personal affront. Any time you achieve a goal, you score a win. And when you score a win, you force your bullies into a place of lesser power.

It’s you who gets the recognition, praise, and glory, not your bullies. And they know it! In other words, you force them into the shadows while you get to shine. You get to be recognized for your accomplishments.

This infuriates your bullies because they aren’t the ones in the spotlight! Understand that bullies crave attention and adoration most. And when they find that you’re getting more of those things than they are, it’s Katie bar the door!

The Best Revenge Against Bullies:

IF you score a win, your bullies will make you pay for it.

Naturally, they will retaliate by launching all sorts of attacks against you. Your bullies will make all sorts of accusations. They may throw shade by bringing up your past mistakes.

You must see through their behavior. They only do it because their power has been threatened. And when your accomplishments drive them into obscurity, they reveal their true colors.

Therefore, you force them to expose themselves and their evil personalities. So, how do you handle this?

You handle it by staying above it. Refuse to react to the bullies’ foolishness. Instead, continue enjoying your wins and successes and let them stew in their own juices.

Let them talk. Let them launch all the personal attacks they desire. Watch with a smile as they seethe themselves into a ball of madness!

Because when they act out and spew nonsense against you, they only dig their own graves.

If you haven’t made any accomplishments yet, work quietly and stealthily until you reach your goals. The more quietly you work, the less interference you’ll have from anyone.

And the fewer roadblocks you will run into along the way. And once you reach your goals, then you can bask in it, and with it, give your bullies the surprise of their lives.

“Your journey is silent, but your destination will be loud.”

1. It’s a type of revenge in which you don’t have to resort to being petty nor violent.

In achieving success, there’s no need to say a word or lift a finger against the bullies. In this, you can silently exact revenge without reducing yourself to the bullies’ level.

As a result, you don’t look petty in the eyes of others!

2. The Best Revenge Against Bullies:

Envy and jealousy are natural human tendencies.

It’s a fact that most people hate to see others succeed and reach their goals and dreams. And secretly, bullies take pleasure in watching others, especially you, suffer.

However, when you become happy and prosperous, it takes the wind out of the bullies’ sails. It only disappoints, frustrates, or even angers them. All while you continue to smile, shine, and move on to even bigger things!

Therefore, if you’re a victim of bullying, any successes you achieve will automatically incite jealousy.

3. If you’re lucky, you get to watch your bullies seethe as you collect your accolades.

And hey! Let’s be real here! There’s nothing more satisfying than watching your bullies squirm with jealousy and rage as you get recognition for your accomplishments!

And if you want, you can covertly eat your bullies alive by looking at them with a taunting smile!

So, find something you enjoy doing – something you are good at! Practice and perfect any talents and gifts you’ve been blessed with. Then display those talents before the world!

Your self-esteem will skyrocket. And you never know where it may take you!

4. The Best Revenge Against Bullies:

You prove them wrong

Bullies despise it when you show them up. When you prove a bully wrong, you show everyone else that they aren’t so perfect.

This undermines their image. Therefore, they’ll try to get back at you to repair it.

5. You outshine them

Upstage a bully, and you’ll get tons of flak for it. To your bullies, you are inferior, and they want you to stay that way.

If you make a significant accomplishment, this makes your bullies look less important. You naturally overshadow anything they’ve accomplished. And they’ll do everything possible to try to reduce you to a place of inferiority.

Bullies Hate Competition

Bullies hate competition. And they despise it, especially when it’s you they must compete with. If someone they deem inferior outmatches them in any competition. Oooo! Talk about a blow to the bully’s ego. Ouch!

They see your accomplishments as a threat to their superiority. Why? Because the bullies’ sense of self-worth is rooted in one-upmanship.

Therefore, they will get angry and say things like:

  • “You think you’re better than us!”
  • “You think you’re hot stuff!”
  • “You think you’re so f***ing cool, don’t you?”

I’ve come to realize that any time a bully makes any statement that begins with, “You think you’re…,” it usually means jealousy. And it means anger, or resentment aimed at you for a success or desirable quality that you have. Always!

Understand that those three little words can say so much.

The Best Revenge Against Bullies:

They despise your confidence.

Bullies despise any confidence you have. Why? Because when you’re confident, you believe in yourself. Therefore, you don’t let others define who you are.

Confidence is your first line of defense against bullying. It naturally buffers your self-esteem for personal attacks.

When you have confidence, you’re likely to tell your bullies where to stick it. Again, that’s a huge threat to their power. They may try to push you around one time. But it will be the only time they do it.

It pays to love yourself even when it seems others don’t.

Let Bullies be Your Jet Fuel to Unimaginable Heights

Instead of letting them bring you down, use your bullies as motivation to succeed. Let them be your drive to accomplish anything you see set to do.

Walk with your head held high, even amid taunts and attacks from bullies. Believe in yourself even when it seems no one else does. Be your own advocate, and be your own best friend.

Love and respect yourself. Do the things you enjoy the most. Stand up for your beliefs and convictions. Take care of yourself and stay true to your own heart.

Put yourself first. Be a little selfish and allow yourself to say no, whether anyone approves or not. Be your authentic self and be assertive and outspoken.

Keep company only with people who love you most and uplift you. Take charge of your own happiness and never depend on anyone else for it. Be proud of your successes, accomplishments, and accolades.

Do all of these things, and your bullies will be less likely to affect you.

The Best Revenge Against Bullies:

Using Bullying as a Motivator for Success and Happiness

I want to tell you that being the object of bullying does not mean that you’re a failure. It does not mean that you must give up.

Remember that bullies are not only cowards, they’re also liars. They only want to convince you that you are nothing.

And they want you to believe that because they are very much afraid that you WILL amount to something. So why not use them as motivation?

Here are ways that you can survive bullying and keep your self-esteem from tanking:

  • Practice and display any talents that you have.
  • Spend time with those you love and who love you the most.
  • Take care of yourself.
  • If a great opportunity comes your way, TAKE IT!
  • Do the things you enjoy the most.
  • Smile.

If you are a victim of bullying, there’s no better time to do whatever it takes to stay confident! Don’t let bullying devastate you; allow it to motivate you.

When they hate you, love yourself anyway. That’s how you get revenge. And you do it without even trying. The best revenge is happiness.

This post was all about the best revenge against bullies so that you can release any grudges and shift your focus from them to yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Revenge on Bullies? Here are 17 Better Alternatives. 

2. Things Bullies Hate: 9 Things That Drive Them Up the Wall

3. What Bullies Hate Most: 9 Things Bullies Despise

4. Jealousy and Bullying: 7 Proven Signs Your Bullies are Jealous

5. How to Love Yourself when Everyone Hates You

what doesn't work with bullies in school

What Doesn’t Work with Bullies: 10 Reactions to Stop Right Now

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‘Want to know what doesn’t work with bullies? Here are all the responses you need to know that only produce the opposite of what you hope for.

what doesn't work with bullies

Specific responses never work with bullies. And you must know what they are to avoid using them and making yourself an even bigger target.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what doesn’t work with bullies so you can avoid them more easily and respond more effectively.

Once you learn these vital tips, you will be able to respond to bullying more effectively.

This post is all about what doesn’t work with bullies, so you’ll know how to avoid responding.

What doesn’t work with Bullies

Some responses and reactions work, and some don’t. Some responses will prompt bullies to back off. However, others will only encourage them to continue and even escalate their harassment.

So, what doesn’t work with bullies? Here’s a list of ways to avoid responding at all costs.

1. Ignoring them.

I’m sure you’ve had many people tell you to ignore the bullies when they bully you. This is just another classic, worn-out piece of bad advice.

I got that lousy advice, too. And I learned the hard way – it doesn’t work. Period. Full stop! It never works.

Bullies will only become angry when you ignore them. And they will escalate the bullying. Moreover, they will mistake your ignoring them for fear.

If a bully gets in your face, how do you ignore that? It’s impossible.

You might think that the best way to handle it is to put your hand up and walk around the bully. This isn’t necessarily a bad response.

However, how do you know the bully won’t come after you and attack you from behind? When people tell you to ignore the bully, what they really mean is one or more of three things:

They don’t want to hear about it, don’t want to deal with it, or don’t have any answers themselves.

Therefore, keep calling it out. And keep setting boundaries.

2. What Doesn’t work with Bullies:

Asking them why.

Many victims mistakenly ask their bullies why. And it’s because they haven’t been taught more effective responses.

  • “Why are you doing this to me?”
  • “Why me?”
  • “What did I ever do to you?”

These questions are pointless. Why? Because, by asking these types of questions, you’re only reinforcing your role as a victim.

A bully will never answer those questions. And it’s because they either can’t or won’t answer them. Why would they tell you?

Remember that part of the bully’s power is to keep you confused. And believe me, their silence on it speaks just as loudly as their words. They love to keep you guessing and trying to rack your brain.

That alone is power in and of itself. If bullies can keep you wondering, they can continue the behavior. And they can do it without you catching on that they are the ones with the problem and not you.

Therefore, it’s best to look up articles and books on bullying to get the answers to your questions. You’ll get much better answers from these sources than you ever will from your bullies.

What Doesn’t Work with Bullies:

Why keeping you confused is half their power.

Again, keeping you bewildered is a power all its own. Why? Because when you’re confused, you can’t think clearly. And if you can’t think clearly, you are less likely to figure out what to do about it.

Understand that bullies will never relinquish their power. Never! To tell you why they bully you would be like giving secrets to the enemy. To be honest about what they hate about you would be like giving their power away to you, and they’ll be damned if they ever!

Therefore, I want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with you. You must know in your heart that you never did anything to deserve brutal treatment.

To take back your power, you must realize that they are the mentally impaired ones. They are the ones with the problem, and they are responsible for their behavior.

Instead of focusing your attention on finding out why your bullies are giving you problems, focus on self-care.

Instead of asking, “Why me?” ask, “What can I do to take care of myself?”  Ask “What can I do to remove myself from the situation and the toxic environment?”

Consider your options and weigh each carefully. Then quietly begin making plans to get out of there as soon and as safely as possible.

3. I-Responses.

Instead, respond with a You-Response. For example, tell them, “You chose that behavior, I didn’t.” Or, you can say, “You’re such an asshole.”

Whatever you do, keep your response away from yourself. Always say, “You are the problem,” or “You chose to be a jerk.” Choose any response that points to the bully and not at you.

4. What Doesn’t Work with Bullies:

Begging.

When you beg a bully not to hurt you, it only makes you look weaker. Moreover, when you beg, bullies get a rush of power. Bullies love it when you beg. Therefore, don’t give them the satisfaction.

More importantly, it doesn’t work. It only makes bullies want to harm you more. Why? Because it makes you seem like a loser.

Instead of begging, look the bully in the eye and firmly tell them to back the hell off. And if they don’t, you may have to put up your fists. Begging comes from a position of weakness. So, you must speak from a position of strength.

5. Apologizing.

Apologizing to bullies is a trauma response. So, it isn’t your fault.

Apologizing is appropriate when a situation warrants it. A sincere apology to someone you’ve hurt shows good character and integrity. It brings about healing and reopens communication between you and those you’ve wronged.

But what if the circumstances do not need one? Apologies can backfire when you offer them needlessly to people who don’t deserve them.

You may say “I’m sorry” before you even have time to think. It’s an automatic response. So, when you catch yourself about to say “sorry,” Stop for a moment.

Assess the situation and the person you’re apologizing to.

NEVER apologize to a bully. Bullies will only see it as weakness. Understand that you can never appease a bully.

Giving bullies undeserved apologies makes you take accountability for their deplorable behavior. So, instead of apologizing. Tell them, “You’ll get over it,” and walk away.

In fact, here’s what you do before apologizing to a bully.

What Doesn’t Work With Bullies:

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Doesn’t this warrant an apology?
  • Is this person someone I need to apologize to?
  • Is this my fault?
  • Did I have any control over this?
  • Am I responsible for someone else’s behavior other than my own?

If the answers are no, then save your apology for a person who deserves it and a situation that warrants it.

  • Do these people bully and abuse me?
  • Do they gaslight me when I defend myself or when I assert my needs and wants?
  • Have they yelled at me, insulted me, or ridiculed me when I’m having fun and just being myself?
  • Do they bully me more intensely when I express my own thoughts and opinions?
  • Do they punish me for feeling angry or sad emotions?
  • And, do they ridicule me for asking for help?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you don’t have to apologize. So, don’t!

I can’t stress this enough. When you offer apologies to bullies, you are wandering into people-pleasing territory. Also, your apologies will eventually lose their meaning when used too much for too long.

Moreover, they can weaken you in the eyes of predatory people. You will become the victim of people who wish to take advantage of you for their own selfish and sick pleasure and gain.

Why? Because you’re sorry for simply existing and taking up space.

What Doesn’t work with Bullies:

What you should say instead of apologizing.

If a bully or abuser is trying to force you to apologize for something you know isn’t your fault, is beyond your control, or something that doesn’t need an apology, these are powerful responses.

  • You’ll get over it.
  • You’ll be alright.
  • By the end of the day, this won’t even matter.
  • It’s no big deal.
  • This isn’t a crisis. Everything’s going to be okay.

Therefore, understand that in those circumstances, you are not inconveniencing anyone or being a bother. Realize that your needs are just as important as everyone else’s.

This trauma response comes from a bullied brain. In other words, after people have bullied you for so long, you over-apologize because you’re afraid of being bullied again. But it can only bring more bullying because people will use it against you.

6. Explaining.

Explaining is a trap. Why? Because most things don’t need an explanation. Yet bullies are good at getting their victims to explain things that don’t need explaining.

Worst of all, victims of bullying are unsure how not to get sucked into needlessly explaining themselves. Therefore, they end up wasting their breath on people who aren’t worthy of their time or consideration.

As a result, they end up making themselves even bigger targets and get stuck in endless cycles of having to explain their every move.

This can become exhausting and, not to mention, dis-empowering! Therefore, you must realize that this is just another bullying tactic.

What Doesn’t Work with Bullies:

Why Bullies Bait you into the Explaining Trap.

  • To throw you off-balance
  • To gather ammunition with which to fire back at you later
  • And to get you emotional.

So, how do you respond to this tactic intelligently and with strength? You respond by giving them a dismissive look, then walking away. Sometimes, silence speaks the loudest.

7. Being Nice.

Sweet talk never works with bullies. Too much sugar is never good because it not only eats away at your teeth, but it also eats away at your self-esteem and your life.

In a world full of evil people, being too nice means having no backbone or boundaries. Therefore, bullies will only see your kindness as a sign of being a fool. And don’t think they won’t find ways to exploit it.

With bullies, you must grow a pair and stand up to shabby treatment. It’s the only way you will ever get through to them.

8. A soft “No”.

When you say no to bullies, you must give them a hard no, never a soft one. A soft no is a no that is gentler and includes an explanation (see number six). It has no teeth. Therefore, bullies will only steamroll right over it.

On the other hand, a hard no is a firm, point-blank refusal. It has strength behind it. For instance, you can say, “No,” “Nope!” or “Absolutely not!” Then walk away.

Responses to bullies should always be firm.

9. What Doesn’t Work with Bullies:

Submitting and trying to appease them.

Anytime you submit just to appease them and make them go away, you are rewarding their behavior. In other words, you’re giving them what they want. And, if you give them what they want, what makes you think they won’t come back for more?

You cannot submit your way out of being bullied. And you cannot appease a bully. Moreover, bullies don’t understand politeness or diplomacy; they only understand strength. These are facts you must know right now!

10. Pandering

I’ve seen so many bullied targets- even people who aren’t victims pander- or, in laymen terms, suck up. Bullies can be intimidating, even downright threatening, no doubt.

Anytime someone feels threatened, their first instinct is to do whatever it takes to quell the danger. That, I understand entirely.

But, unless they threaten your life, it isn’t a good idea to pander to bullies. Why? Because it wouldn’t change anything. You only give away more of your power by bowing down and kissing their feet.

As a result, you’ll end up feeling even worse about yourself than you did before.

Pandering is for pansies. So, think for yourself and start standing up to anyone who violates your boundaries. They may bully you harder at first. You may have to fight harder and for longer to assert yourself.

But if you stick to it, they will go away sooner or later. And you’ll feel better about yourself.

What Doesn’t Work with Bullies:

In conclusion

To know how to respond means learning how not to respond. Therefore, avoid these reactions, and you will become bully-proof and live in peace. I promise you.

This post was all about what doesn’t work with bullies so that you can stand strong, make them leave you alone, and preserve your SELF-ESTEEM.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

 2. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond

3.  No Apology Necessary: 8 Things You Should Never Apologize For

4. Saying Sorry Too Much: 4 Reasons You Do and How to Stop It

why bullies won't leave you alone reddit

Why Bullies Won’t Leave You Alone

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‘Want to know why bullies won’t leave you alone? Here are all the reasons bullies keep coming after you so that you can plan your defense accordingly.

why bullies won't leave you alone

Once bullies get a bead on you, they are relentless. In fact, they are the most persistent people on earth. They are like a dog with a bone, and most won’t stop coming after you until they get you.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the reasons bullies won’t leave you alone, so you will no longer feel confused and can begin taking the proper steps to defend yourself and restore your safety.

Once you learn all about these vital details, you will be better prepared when bullies place a target on your back.

This post explains why bullies won’t leave you alone, helping you clear up the confusion and become more determined to stand up for yourself.

Why Bullies Won’t Leave You Alone

If you’re a target of bullying, I’m confident that you’ve asked these questions a million times over.

  • “These bullies despise me so much. Why don’t they get a life and leave me alone?”
  • “They think that I’m such a bad person, so why don’t they just let me go?”
  • “Why don’t they just forget me, go on about their business, and let me go on about mine?”
  • “If I’m such a disgusting person to them, then why can’t my bullies simply just stay away from me?”
  • “My bullies hate me so much. So, wouldn’t it be better for everyone if they stayed away from me? If they just went on and did their thing and let me do mine?
  • “If I’m as loathsome as they say I am, why waste the energy to chase me down and harass me?”
  • “Why would people continue to pursue a person they so vehemently detest?”
  • “Why do they keep talking to me at all, even if it is abusive?”

After all, it would be a sensible solution to their problem. They stay away from you; you stay away from them, then everyone can be shiny and happy. Right?

Unfortunately, that’s not how it works out.

As much as I hate to tell you, bullies will never go away and allow you to live in peace. If they have selected you to be their target, they won’t just go away quietly.

Here’s why.

1. Their Goal is to Dominate you.

Bullies can’t dominate you by staying away from you. To lord it over you, they must engage you. They must stick close to you. You can’t dominate if you don’t watch the person.

Understand that a bully’s entire mission in life is to dominate and subjugate…period. And if not you, anyone. You just happen to be the easiest victim for them. You are the person they have in their sights.

Therefore, their goal is to subjugate you, to hold you down, and oppress you. Realize that this is the only way bullies can thrive. In fact, their very ethos is in mentally or physically enslaving and tormenting you.

2. Why Bullies Won’t Leave You Alone:

bullying you gives them meaning in their lives.

In short, the only way bullies can have some semblance of meaning in their own lives is to dominate another human being. Why? Because they could never attain (or obtain) power any other way.

Outside of trying to control and keep a tight grip on others’ lives, bullies can’t find meaning. And they don’t have any sense of effectiveness or self-worth.

Bullies have no substance. They have zero redeemable qualities. The vast majority are only life losers disguised as winners and cloaked in false perfection.

So, it makes perfect sense that the only way they find meaning is through subjugation. Therefore, they ride roughshod over people they perceive to have the least power.

You must realize that if your bullies just left you alone, they would have nothing else. Why? Because there is nothing left out there for them.

3. Outside of the places they take over, Bullies are nothing.

These bullies may indeed run the school, workplace, or community. However, outside of those environments, they take over and rule with iron fists; they have nothing, zip, zilch, squat!

On the other hand, you have a healthy mentality. You don’t have to bully others to find meaning in your life. Why? Because chances are that you already have it outside the bullying environment.

Unlike your bullies, you find meaning through unity and togetherness with your family and friends. You also discover it through your church, home, talents, hobbies, and interests.

Sadly, bullies don’t have these things to fall back on.

4. Why Bullies Won’t Leave You Alone:

Bullies need victims.

Understand that bullies must have victims. In fact, they need them. Bullies need people whom they can oppress and subjugate. They crave people they can order around and tell what to do.

Bullying itself requires targets. Take the target out of the equation, and bullying ceases to exist.

If one is going to be in charge, there must be people to be in charge of. You can’t be a ruler if there are no people around. In other words, you’re not the boss of anything if there are no people to boss around.

You can’t be a king if there’s no kingdom, because for a kingdom even to exist, there must be people living in it for you to rule.

Put another way, it would be like discovering a deserted island and declaring yourself king of that island. If a king has no people to rule, he has no kingdom and, therefore, no power.

It’s the same with bullies. Without targets to lord over, there’s no power for them to have and enjoy.

5. Without victims, bullies have no power.

Here’s another thing to consider. If you’re a target of bullying, your bullies don’t like the fact that you want to get away from them. Why? Because if you were to escape their abuse and declare yourself a separate person, you would take their power right along with you.

Therefore, the thought of you leaving the environment only enrages your bullies. Moreover, any attempts you make to evade them will be met with intense anger. Then, they will escalate the abuse to punish you.

Again, when you flee or fight back, you’re attempting to take away the only power they have.

When Bullies Won’t Leave You Alone:

The battered wife.

The same thing happens when a battered wife finally musters up the courage to leave her abusive husband. It drives him up the wall, and not because he’s lost her. It’s because he has lost power over her.

Bullies are no different. Their rage and hostility at the possibility of you either fighting back or leaving the environment is all about the threat of losing power.

Remember that bullying is abuse. And, just like domestic violence, rape, molestation, or any other form of abuse, it is about power.

Since bullying and abuse are the same, they’re both about power.

Therefore, bullies will never allow you to live in peace. The reason bullies won’t leave you alone is that to do so would mean them losing the only thing they have- their power…over you.

6. power is addictive.

The power that bullies get from bullying you is addictive. It gives them a rush of authority. However, that rush wears off quickly.

In other words, bullying is like a drug. And like any drug, it gives the user a high or a rush. When it wears off, the user then searches for another hit.

Power is addictive. And bullies are insecure people with fragile egos. They’re insecure people in control.

As long as they can keep you worn down, where you accept their abuse, they have power over you. And the longer they have power over you, the more addicted they become to it.

Their pathetic little egos feed off of controlling you. And the more they feed their egos at your expense, the stronger that power-addiction becomes.

However, once you get an ass full and decide to stand up to the creeps, you take back your power. Then your bullies become outraged. Why? Because you have taken away the very thing they’ve become addicted to.

7. Why Bullies Won’t Leave You Alone:

Bullying is like a drug to bullies.

How does someone who’s addicted to drugs act when you suddenly cut them off from their drug supply? They climb the walls! It’s the same with bullies when you defend yourself and take back your power – the drug they’re addicted to.

Therefore, to bring you back under their control, your bullies might put on the nice act and become apologetic. However, this doesn’t happen often because bullies are prideful.

In most cases, your bullies will increase the abuse. They will reinforce their power by punishing you for defending yourself. For instance, verbal bullies begin verbally assaulting you, and you counter them with a good burn.

Your bullies may dial up the abuse by giving you a good beating. It’s a fact that most verbal bullies become physical bullies. And this is why.

Bullying always escalates. Why? Because, as with a drug, the user builds a tolerance to it. Therefore, they need more of the drug. With bullying, bullies may start by calling you names. But that soon loses its thrill.

Then the bullies escalate it and begin physically abusing you.

8. You’re an easy target.

Because you don’t fight back, they know they can get away with it. In other words, by not defending yourself, you only reward their behavior.

So, who wouldn’t keep doing it if it gives them the rewards they’re looking for?

The only way your bullies will leave you alone is if you start setting boundaries. That means imposing consequences on anyone who violates your boundaries.

Therefore, you must defend yourself from bullying if you want bullies to leave you alone. It’s the only way to get them to stop. But before you can fight back effectively, you must first have knowledge. And that means knowing the objectives of bullying.

This post was all about why bullies won’t leave you alone so that you will begin defending yourself and take back your right to safety.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

2. Bullying and Gaslighting: 7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims

3. Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them: 5 Ways to Counter Bullying

4. When You Need Someone More Than They Need You: 8 Ways to Tip the Scales of Power!

examples of a teacher bullying a student in school

Examples of a Teacher Bullying a Student: School Mobbing

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‘Want to see some examples of a teacher bullying a student? Here are all the examples you need to read so that you can recognize it when a teacher bullies you or your child.

examples of a teacher bullying a student

No one has the right to bully you. That includes teachers, school staff, and parents. And yes, there are a few teachers who do participate in the bullying and mobbing of targeted students.

In this post, you will learn the examples of a teacher bullying a student so that you can recognize it if it happens to you.

Once you learn all these examples, you will know when it happens and be better able to handle it.

This post will give you examples of a teacher bullying a student, so you will know how to deal with it if it ever happens to you.

Examples of a Teacher Bullying a Student

Setting examples is the most powerful way to educate others. Therefore, when a teacher participates in bullying a child, they set a terrible example for the entire student body.

They send an obvious message that it’s okay to abuse and brutalize this particular kid. They signal to the rest of the class that it’s OK to demonize and dehumanize them. As a result, they strip them of their dignity.

So everyone else joins in, too, because they know it’s okay to destroy them. After all, they must “deserve it” if the teacher is doing it. Right?

And many of the teachers who do these damaging things to targeted kids? They either don’t know what they’re doing or don’t care. Either way, working with kids isn’t their forte.

Abuse is abuse. And some teachers abuse these kids in the name of “discipline.”

They warn other teachers about the targeted student.

Bully teachers are notorious for gossiping about targeted kids. They share and swap rumors and horror stories about these children and warn other educators about them.

Therefore, they set these poor children up for more bullying before others get the chance to know them. Often, they do these things right in front of the poor child to crush their spirit.

Sometimes, teachers will circulate vicious rumors, defamation, and opinions throughout the entire community. Moreover, they even share confidential information about the child.

Even worse, they will also spread speculation about the kid’s parents and attack their parenting skills. This happens more today than ever.

Is it any wonder that many people view the public school system so negatively?

Examples of a Teacher Bullying a Student:

When adults bully, bullying is difficult to stop.

There’s no way to stop the soul-crushing, mob-style bullying of a kid when the adults do it. These are those who should know better and be there to protect the young victim. However, they are committing the same abuse as the other classmates.

There have been countless occurrences and testimonies of bullying parents, mobbing and bullying other parents, teachers, and, yes, children and teens too.

Others overhear teachers maliciously and viciously gossiping about targeted kids. They hear it in the hallway between classes and in staff bathrooms.

And the other kids, who overhear these adults, use it to escalate their bullying. Why? Think about it. If an adult is bullying a kid, it must mean it’s acceptable.

The best we can do is to educate the teachers and staff. They do not realize the harm they cause these children.

As for the handful of teachers who don’t care and continue their bullying, they cannot be helped. It’s best to get them out of the school system and away from our young altogether. And the sooner we do, the safer they will be.

School Staff do not Give Bullied Kids any due process.

This is because they label victims of mobbing and bullying. They label them as “trouble,” “difficult,” or “problem child.”

It sets the targeted kid up to be discriminated against by their school. Why?  When adults show prejudice against a particular student, it creates a hostile and dangerous environment.

In these situations, the victim is only bullied further. And school staff don’t give them the same due process as their classmates.

As a result, the school staff ends up empowering the bullies. Even worse, they end up encouraging other bullies to bully that child.

Examples of a Teacher Bullying a Student:

Victims may act out due to prolonged bullying and THE resulting stress.

Let’s face it, no one can withstand the intense pressure of bullying and mobbing for long. A person can only be pushed so far. If you kick a dog long enough, it will bite you eventually.

When classmates bully and mob a target, they force them to submit to horrendous and downright grotesque abuse.  This kind of bullying is unfathomable to most adults.

The message victims receive from others is just to “shut up and take it.” In fact, when you suffer school bullying and mobbing, your world becomes quite Kafkaesque. Even you have a hard time believing what you’re experiencing.

So, is it any wonder that no one else can believe it either? The questions, “What the hell?” and “Is this really happening?” come to mind.  You feel as if you’ve stepped into the twilight zone.

This is because being mobbed is the feeling of being crushed by nonsensical, bizarre, and blind abuse.

Even worse, They are powerless to understand or control what is happening.

The victim suffers mistreatment, isolation, exclusion, and yes, even brutal physical beatings. Therefore, he’ll be too afraid to plead for help. Why? Because they know that the school staff will ignore their cries for help.

And, do you know what’s more frightening? It’s that the bullies will retaliate against them for daring to speak up.

Eventually, the victim snaps and misbehaves due to long-lasting and extreme stress. And school staff will ignore the bullying they suffer. However, they won’t ignore the victim’s reactions to it.

Therefore, they will only re-victimize them.

In other words, teachers and principals punish the victim for their reaction. They don’t bother addressing the bullying that caused it.

Examples of a Teacher Bullying a Student:

example 1:

Everyone in class bullies a particular girl. The teacher either doesn’t see it or thinks the girl deserves it.

Maybe the teacher thinks bullying is just a rite of passage that builds character. During one occasion, the bully sitting behind the targeted girl pulls her hair.

The victim then gets fed up with being mistreated. Unable to tolerate any more abuse, she turns around and punches the bully who pulled her hair.

Now the teacher, very conveniently, doesn’t see the other girl pull the target’s hair. However, she sees the victim turn around and punch her in the nose.

Therefore, the teacher punishes the victim without even considering what the other girl did to provoke her.

staff prevent the target from defending themselves.

The message the teacher sends is crystal clear. The target has no recourse. Therefore, the bully has carte blanche to continue bullying them.

So, this exact scenario repeats itself a few times. And, before long, the victim has a bad name with the staff. That’s when everyone becomes very suspicious of her.

The principal catches the target in the hall between classes. He tells her, aloud, in front of the other classmates, that he is watching her. The other kids, especially the bullies, overhear the principal.

As a result, bullies take it as a green light to continue their abuse. And why not? They know the victim will be blamed. Not them.

Examples of a Teacher Bullying a Student:

After all, who’s going to believe the “problem child?”

So, the staff continues to harangue the target. They make their situation much worse than it needs to be. And, do you know how they justify it? They do it by claiming to want to protect the other kids who fit into what is “normal” and obey the rules.

Therefore, they use that to defend their emotional abuse of the target. It’s all an excuse for their singling them out for humiliation in front of God and everyone.

And this is why most bullying teachers get away with it. And know that these teachers also bully other teachers, not just the pupils.

Understand that, when this occurs, the school is willingly participating in destroying another human being. Therefore, it’s imperative that targeted kids and teens hold on to their sense of self, pride, and confidence.

And we must teach them how. Teach them hold on to those treasures with everything they have. It’s the only way they will graduate with their mental health intact.

It’s also crucial that parents and grandparents teach them to believe in themselves. And to hang on to that self-belief even when no one else believes in them.

Also, they must teach them to know their worth even when others don’t. They must teach them to love and respect themselves even when everyone hates them.

Why? Because it is during the most difficult times that they need these virtues the most.

Here is a list of examples of a teacher bullying a student.

  • Ignoring them when they have a question in class.
  • Humiliating them in front of class.
  • Denying them due process.
  • Ignoring them when they report bullying.
  • Spreading rumors about them to other teachers.
  • Punishing them for things that others get away with.
  • Giving them lower grades and marks, even for excellent assignments.
  • A rash of disparaging remarks on report cards.
  • Saying bad things about the pupil’s parents and their parenting skills.
  • Allowing others to mistreat them.
  • Joining in when classmates bully them.

This post was all about the examples of a teacher bullying a student so that you will easily recognize it if it happens to you or your children.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying by Teachers in School: 7 Steps to Protect Yourself

2. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

3. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

4. Why Do Schools Protect Bullies? 5 Common Reasons

5. Teachers Bullying Teachers: When a Teacher is the Victim

when bullies lose power over you in school

When Bullies Lose Power Over You: 4 Things that Happen

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What happens when bullies lose power over you? Discover 3 things that happen when bullies realize they can no longer control you.

when bullies lose power over you

In this post, you will learn what happens when bullies lose power over you so that you’ll know what to expect.

Once you learn all these crucial details, you will be better equipped to prepare for your bullies’ reactions and protect yourself from any reprisals.

This post is all about what happens when bullies lose power over you so that you can be ready for anything they throw at you.

When Bullies Lose Power

When you take back your power, bullies react in various ways. This is because they feel a sense of dismissal or rejection when you stop letting them control you.

Nobody likes being rejected and dismissed – especially by someone they consider inferior. That’s a blow to the ego like no other!

When you finally dismiss a bully, oh my goodness! They lose it! Why? Because they thought for so long that you were too weak to stand up to them.

Therefore, the minute you finally stood your ground, you snatched your power back and left the bully powerless over you! And now the bully must go through the headache of finding a new target! Gasp!

1. If a bully cannot control you, they will attempt to control how others see you.

There are several reasons they do this. Number 1, they’re afraid that you’ll tell others the truth about them, so they do it to cover their backsides.

Number 2, they do it to punish you for daring to grow a spine and defend yourself.  And number 3, to close you off from any human connection and therefore, any protection.

Bullies know that if they can isolate you, they can reclaim their narrative. They can cut off any protection you might receive, then you are theirs for the taking, and they can move in for the kill.

Now, they can do with you whatever they choose, freely and with impunity. Why? Because if everyone is against you, the less likely they are to help you. Think about it. If everyone else is against you, then, in their minds, you deserve what’s happening to you.

Therefore, they will try to turn others against you.

Bullies want to, figuratively, hold you hostage. And they will resort to any means necessary to keep you “in your place.”

2. When Bullies Lose Power:

They will use physical violence if nothing else works.

Bullies will commit their violence either by assaulting you themselves or sending someone else to do it for them. This does not mean you shouldn’t stand up for yourself, because you should.

However, when you do, be prepared. The torment may get worse before it gets better. But be strong. Be brave and know that it isn’t your fault.

3. The power dynamic shifts in your favor

Anytime you stand up to a bully, you instantly change the power dynamic. In other words, you immediately reclaim your personal power. Moreover, you put the bully in a position of weakness and inferiority.

You flip the script and take the position of power over the bully. This is why bullies cannot handle rejection. They feel that they must always be in a position of power in the bully/victim relationship.

A bully gets angry enough when anyone stands up to them. But if the person standing up to them is someone they’ve grown accustomed to having power over, it makes them livid.

You must realize the reason for this. This is because you’re likely at the bottom of the pecking order. So, when you finally buck up and stand up to a bully, you, figuratively, trade places with the bully and put them on the bottom, if only for that moment.

When bullies lose power over you, here are their unspoken messages:

  • “How dare you!”
  • “Who is this phlegm-wad to stand up to me? ME!
  • “This piece of scum is supposed to be under me, and here she is talking to me and acting like she’s OVER me! Oh no! This can’t happen!
  • Who does this loser think she is!”
  • “The nerve of that &#$%!”
  • “She’s making trouble, and now I’ve got to really act out to put her back under me where she belongs!”

Bullies need raw power!

Understand that bullies rely on fear, overwhelming strength, and coercion to get what they want. And they’ve been steamrolling you for so long that they’ve become quite arrogant and self-satisfied.

Do you know what happens when you’ve finally had enough of their gas and set your foot down? You will throw them off balance. And do you know what else you’ll do?

You’ll blast a huge hole in their ego and shock the hell out of them. And trust me when I tell you. Your bullies will become highly pissed!

In fact, they’ll become so angry that they’ll go from zero to one hundred in a matter of seconds. If the bully has narcissistic personality disorder (and most bullies do), they will go into a rage.

When bullies lose power over you, be prepared for anything.

If you are a victim of bullying and you finally grow a spine, your bullies will do anything they can to break it. They will escalate the bullying when you first stop accepting it.

Therefore, when you tell bullies to kick rocks, you undermine their perceived superiority over you. Again, bullies have delicate egos. And when the ego is at stake, people will act out.

Bullies are very prideful, and their pride takes a massive blow anytime you talk back or fight back. And most bullies would rather die than be made inferior, especially to their targets.

4. They become vindictive.

Bullies despise boundaries. When you stand up to your bullies, be prepared for a battle of wills. Your bullies will seek revenge, and they won’t stop coming after you until they get it.

Realize that they don’t care if they’re the ones who’ve mistreated you all these years. And they don’t care how you’ve suffered.

The only thing they are thinking about at this moment is that you challenged their superiority and authority. In their eyes, you are a victim and nothing else. In other words, you are beneath them.

And, still! You had the nerve to undermine them and make them look like punks. Now you must pay a price for it. This is how bullies think.

But don’t let that stop you from defending yourself, no matter what. You have a right to safety and to be treated with dignity.

You must do what you must to protect yourself.

If the bullying becomes too much to deal with, there’s nothing wrong with leaving the environment. Realize that leaving is not running. It’s not being fearful or “chicken.” It’s self-care, it’s smarts, and it’s self-preservation.

You must do what you must to protect not only your physical health, but also your mental health.

When Bullies Lose Power:

What Happened to me when I had the Chutzpah to Stand up to a Bully

This is precisely what happened when I unfriended an old bully classmate over snide comments on some of my posts. She became furious! She couldn’t stand it! And I’ve got to tell you. I’m laughing as I type this.

This half-crazed woman blew up my inbox. And with such vitriolic rage! Oh, my goodness!

How dare I! The nerve! The audacity! The chutzpah of me! O-M-G! I’m such a fake! I’m such a pissy person who deleted her because I got called out! Oooooo! Poor baby! I’m such a weak little bitch who can’t take constructive criticism!

This is what she messaged me before I laughed and pushed that little godsend of a block button. I would’ve pushed the button sooner. However, I had to let it percolate a little.

I was getting a real kick out of her reaction, and I wanted to give her time to shoot herself in the foot. Sure enough, she did.

I took screenshots of her messages—one in which she repeatedly asked, “Why did you delete me?” Then I plastered them all over the internet. The icing on the cake was that some of the other classmates saw the screenshots too and they were shocked.

I exposed her before the eyes of some of her old high school buddies. That’s when that she-bully went even more berserk. And, I have to admit. It was so fun to watch!

I kid you not. There wasn’t enough popcorn in the world!

You see, this woman thought that I was weak in high school. She never bet on the possibility that I had smartened up a little since. So, I went ahead and let her assume what she wanted and trapped her with it.

Therefore, I want you to know that standing up to a bully isn’t as hard as you think. It’s quite easy if you don’t let intense emotions get in your way.

Bullies get their power from getting you emotional. And when you finally come to a place where they can no longer faze you, the better you’ll be able to use your head. You will find some leverage and use it as a weapon.

Understand that when bullies fly into a rage, they can no longer think clearly. That’s when you have the opportunity to use it to your advantage.

This post is all about what happens when bullies lose power over you so that you can know what to expect when you finally stand your ground.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

2. Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up

3. Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them: 5 Ways to Counter Bullying

4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

bullying is

Bullying: What Is It? And What are the 11 Types of It?

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Want to know what bullying is and what signs you should recognize? Here’s what it is and how to know when you or someone else is being bullied.

bullying

Bullying ruins the lives of millions of innocent people around the globe.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the basics of it. You will learn exactly what it is and all the signs you need to know to protect yourself.

Once you learn all these essential details, you will be better equipped to protect yourself against the onslaught and emerge as a survivor, rather than a victim.

What is Bullying?

Bullying is unwanted aggression that becomes a repeated pattern of aggressive behaviors against the same person over a long period of time. A large group of people typically commits it against an individual and involves an imbalance of power.

In life, you’ll deal with difficult people. You will meet many jerks who act rudely and obnoxiously. However, just because a person is rude doesn’t mean they’re bullies.

Everyone deals with incivility, but not everyone gets bullied.

Incivility is a part of life. Bullying, on the other hand, is sick and twisted. Although a jerk’s behavior is hurtful and harmful, it doesn’t mean they’re bullying you.

Before we proceed, let’s define what bullying is.

Bullying – The repetitive, intentional hurting of one person or group by another person or group, where the relationship involves an imbalance of power. Bullying can be physical, verbal or psychological. It can happen face-to-face or online.

The Misuse of the term “Bullying”

In today’s climate, people use the word too loosely. Moreover, they use it to describe situations that don’t fit its use.

In fact, many place this label on anyone who says anything they disagree with.

Therefore, we must learn to distinguish between bullying and other forms of conflict.

Sadly, bullying has become a blanket term. People use it to describe anyone who says or does something they dislike. Sure. Some are jerks. However, it doesn’t necessarily make them bullies.

Therefore, when society sticks this label where it doesn’t belong, it deprives people of the right to have their own opinions. This is wrong.

So, what are the differences between incivility and bullying?

Bullying has 5 CHARACTERISTICS.

1. Power imbalance.

Bullying always thrives on an imbalance of power. In other words, the bully usually has more power than the victim. For example, bigger bullies in school often ride roughshod over much smaller victims. The power these bullies have over their victims is usually based on their size and physical strength.

Another example would be the tyrannical manager. The power the manager holds over their subordinates stems from their position within the company. Moreover, he can feed himself and his family with the palm of his hand.

Therefore, he bullies those employees at will simply because he can, and there’s nothing they can do about it without losing their jobs.

It’s the same with the evil sheriff. His position in the county government is his power, and he can plant drugs in the vehicles of his targets and possibly ruin their lives.

Another source of power for bullies is mental health stigma. For instance, if you have a mental health issue, bullies will most likely target you because they see it as a weakness.

So, who’s going to believe the targets when they claim they are innocent? Who’d take the word of a perceived criminal over an officer of the law? This is the power this sheriff holds. People know he’s evil, but they stay out of his way to keep from becoming next on his list.

Therefore, it always involves a power imbalance. The bully is always the one with the most power.

2. Repetition.

The aggression is repeated. Moreover, they are repeated over long periods (from several weeks to several years). And because bullying persists over time, it also escalates if left unchecked.

3. Bullying Seeks to do harm.

Bullying seeks to do deliberate harm, not only physically, but also psychologically and emotionally. It is humiliating. Also, it tears down confidence, crushes self-esteem, and ruins the lives of many innocent people. It’s just what it’s designed to do.

Therefore, you must stand up to it in the early stages. Why? Because bullies will try to dehumanize you in the early stages. And once they succeed in dehumanizing you, people will think that it’s okay to harass you. Then, it can turn into mobbing.

4. It targets the same victim.

Bullying singles out one target or targeted group. Therefore, bullies carry out repeated acts against these targets over time. This aggression only ends when the targets leave the bullies’ environment, either by relocation, transfer, or death.

5. The repeated aggression persists for a long time (over several weeks, months, or years).

Bullies repeat harmful acts of aggression against their targets over the long haul. Moreover, it lasts for weeks, months, or years until the targets somehow leave the toxic environment and are no longer within the bullies’ reach.

Therefore, in short, the bully has more power than the victim. Moreover, the person must carry on repeated acts of unwanted and harmful aggression against the same victim over a long period. Because of this, the Human Stress Response often overworks.

Bullying is often confused with:

1. Disagreements, arguments, and debates

Disagreements aren’t bullying. Why? Because everyone disagrees; couples, siblings, and parents may disagree and do so quite often.

In other words, someone who disagrees with you is not bullying you. They only have a difference of opinion or perspective. Understand that we all have different life experiences, backgrounds, and belief systems.

Although it may not always feel good when someone disagrees with us, they are still not bullies.

However, it would become bullying if the person repeatedly singled you out with personal attacks. Then they would be a bully for doing that.

2. Someone says something you don’t like or voices an opinion you don’t like.

This isn’t bullying. People say things others don’t like every day, but it doesn’t make them bullies. For example, a person is voicing an opinion. When someone asks them what they think of their new next-door neighbor, the person answers by saying,

“I think he is an arrogant, egotistical jackass.”

Again, this is NOT bullying. It’s only voicing an opinion.

However, if the person continued this behavior for a long time. And if they spread rumors about the new neighbor to everyone in the neighborhood, then yes!

3. Misunderstandings are not classified as bullying.

Here’s another example: if a 6’5” tall and muscular knucklehead on the street bumps into you and says, “Hey, idiot! Watch where the hell you’re going!”, then keeps walking. This isn’t bullying either.

Is the person a total jackass? Absolutely. Does he think you might have run into him on purpose? Probably. However, he isn’t necessarily a bully.

Now,  what if he deliberately ran into you and shot his mouth off to you every day, every time he saw you? Also, what if he made a habit of it by continuing to harass you?

Then, the answer is yes! He would be considered a bully because he would use his size and height to intimidate you. And he’d be repeating the behavior every day, only against you, but not against anyone else.

4. Stubbornness

For example, if I warned my next-door neighbor that he had a low tire? And what if he waved me away like shooing a fly? He wouldn’t be a bully. A stubborn ox, maybe. But not a bully.

5. Incivility and jerky behavior

For example, a driver pulls out in front of me on the road. I slam on my brakes and blare my horn at him, and he flips me off. It doesn’t make him a bully. Does it make him an asshole? Absolutely, but not a bully.

Moreover, if two people are arguing over different beliefs, it’s still doesn’t qualify, even if the argument is heated. But what if one of them resorts to repeatedly calling the other names, and it persists for a long time? That, my friends, is bullying!

If you understand what it is and what constitutes it, you can apply this knowledge to those who deserve the label.

Types of Bullying:

Bullying comes in all types. Here they are.

1. Physical

Physical bullying is the most obvious kind. It involves hitting, kicking, shoving, and choking. It starts as borderline behaviors, such as deliberately running into you in the hallways or tripping you. Also, bullies may brush past you or shoulder-check you.

They may even take their finger and flick your nose with it or spit on you. These kinds of people violate your physical boundaries, and if you ignore them, it will only escalate.

Therefore, the only way to handle these types is to stand up to them. Remember that bullies don’t respond to politeness or diplomacy. They only respond to strength and power.

Therefore, you must speak to them in the only language they understand. How you deal with physical bullies is to stand up for yourself by beating the ever-loving crap out of them. And you must do it so badly that they won’t ever want to tangle with you again. Only then will they leave you alone.

2. Psychological/Emotional

This type targets the victim’s emotions and mental health. It involves name-calling, cruel jokes, and pranks. It can also involve gaslighting, guilt trips, and triggering.

Moreover, its purpose is to undermine the victim’s self-esteem and confidence. Therefore, the best defense is to show them that they don’t faze you. Respond by countering it.

For example, you counter name-calling with humor or with a good burn that humiliates them. You can turn the tables on gaslighting by using counter-statements that shut it down. And you counter guilt-trips by seeing through their bullshit and refusing to feel guilty.

3. Verbal

The verbal kind uses the spoken word to cause psychological or emotional harm. Verbal bullies use tactics that are meant to erode your self-esteem. Therefore, be aware that this type also falls into the psychological and emotional category.

What you do is counter it with a good burn or a bit of humor. This takes the wind out of the idiot’s sail and makes you a not-so-easy target.

5. Non-Verbal

Non-verbal aggression is psychological and emotional because it causes fear. This type of aggression involves giving dirty looks or making threatening and obscene gestures. Examples of this kind of aggression include glaring at someone and flipping them off whenever you see them.

Other examples include pounding a fist into their palm and looking at you. Standing too close to you and getting in your face also falls into this category.

Bullies may also sit in your chair, pick up your notebook, park in your parking space, or learn on your vehicle. This is designed to claim ownership of your property and territory.

How you stand up to this type of aggression is to look the creep in the eye and tell them to knock it off. You can tell them to get the hell out of your chair or off your car. Or, you can tell them to keep their paws off your notebook or get out of your parking space.

But whatever you do, don’t ignore it. Why? Because you will only reward their behavior, and they’ll only continue to violate your boundaries.

6. Social/Relational

This also falls into the psycho/emotional category because it causes sadness and distress. Social discord. This includes gossiping, spreading rumors and lies, and launching smear campaigns.

Social bullies have oversized egos. They use these tactics to lower your social status and raise theirs.

How you respond to this is to confront the creep face-to-face. Call out the behavior and do it in front of an audience. If people believe the lies and rumors, they see them as a revelation of who they are. If friends believe it, then find new friends.

7. Sexual

This type of bullying involves sexual comments and inappropriate touching. For example, the creep may grope you. They might grab your breast, behind, or crotch. Or, they may run their hand up your skirt.

Sexual comments include remarks about your private areas or sexual activity. For example, the aggressor may say, “you’d **** anything that moves.” Or they may tell you that you have a nice behind.

Whatever they do, you can respond by telling them to get lost or deliver a humiliating burn. This will likely make them think twice before repeating the behavior.

8. Gatekeeper Bullying

This type of bullying typically occurs in the workplace. However, it can happen anywhere, such as at school, in the neighborhood, or even within the family. Gatekeepers take control over resources, time, materials, information, and chance opportunities.

They can be individuals or groups. They’re the type who specialize in letting only certain people in and keeping others out of the loop.

They do this to limit your choices and opportunities because they deem you unworthy of them. Why? Because they either dislike you or hate you.

However, you can stand up to this kind of aggression by avoiding this person and accessing what you need from people you can trust.

9. Bullying By Proxy

These types of aggressors use other people to bully you. They may use the secret admirer bait and tell you that the proxy likes you right in front of him to get him to insult and humiliate you in public.

Or they may bait others by telling them that you said something bad about them. Either way, they get other people to harass you because they don’t have the balls to do it themselves.

Therefore, you must respond to this by calling the instigator out and standing up to the proxies who fall for their garbage.

10. Cyber-Bullying

This type of aggression is carried out through electronic means. Cyberbullies use mean and threatening texts, incendiary posts, cruel or sexual memes, and revenge porn to troll and humiliate their victims.

Please realize that these are the most cowardly creeps of all, and they stalk and attack you online to get a reaction out of you. Therefore, don’t respond to them… at all!

Instead, use the SBRE method: Screenshot, block, report, then expose. This quickly eliminates cyber trolls!

11. Reactive Bullying

Reactive bullying is the type of bullying that victims do when they’re fed up with being targeted. Again, bullying throws you into survival mode. Therefore, it’s perfectly understandable to bully the bully back when they attack you, but it’s not necessarily the wisest thing to do.

The reason is that bullies will find ways to make you look like the instigator. Therefore, it’s best to stay calm and respond with short, smart-alecky comebacks instead. You can find a list of good comebacks here.

In Conclusion

Sadly, many reality shows glamorize bullying today. And people still buy into the old myths about bullies and targets. If nothing else, know this – bullying is abuse. Therefore, you have a right to defend yourself against it. The best way to protect yourself is to gather evidence first. For example, you can keep a journal of the abuse. Once you’ve gathered all your proof, then present it when you report it.

Bullying is also dangerous. It throws you into survival mode and keeps you there. It causes trauma that can last a lifetime.

It is the number one cause of suicides and school shootings. 

Know that you are not alone. There are many stories of bullying you can look up to prove that there are others who endure it too. Also, realize that it’s not about you, it’s about them.

And lastly, do your research on bullying. Realize that males and females bully differently in most cases. So, be ready for tactics from both sexes. I promise you that it will be a huge weight lifted off your shoulders. And you won’t feel so alone. Moreover, once you know the statistics, you won’t feel so different.

You can find out more facts about bullying here.

This post was all about bullying so that you can know what it is and recognize it when it happens to you.

Related post you’ll enjoy:

1. Incivility vs Bullying

2. Sexual Bullying: Bullied Girls and Sexual Harassment in School

3. Imbalance of Power in Bullying: 3 Sources of Power for Bullies

4. Bullying and Power: 2 Categories of Power

5. Bullying is Abuse: 9 Ways Bullying and Abuse are The Same

bully-victims reddit

Bully-Victims: 4 Reasons Victims of Bullying Often Become Bullies

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‘Want to know about bully-victims and reasons victims of bullying may resort to bullying those even weaker than them? Here’s everything about this phenomenon you need to know.

bully-victims

It’s hard to have empathy when you suffer constant bullying. Targets of bullying often get accused of being selfish and out for their own interests. However, anytime we are hurting so badly, it only blunts our capacity to feel for others.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bully-victims and why they may choose to bully those even weaker than themselves. You will also understand that, if you fall into this category, you can stop the behavior and handle the bullying you suffer more constructively.

Once you learn all about this vital information, you’ll be better able to spot a bully-victim or recognize the behavior in yourself and make changes.

This post is all about bully-victims, so you can recognize the behavior and identify victims who might have become bullies themselves and keep yourself from becoming one.

Bully-Victims

Anytime a person suffers severe and relentless bullying for so long, their pain overrides any ability to empathize with those around them, who may also be hurting.

Your pain is so great, it’s like lying in the emergency room with both legs broken after a car accident. The pain is so intense that you couldn’t care less about the patient in the next room. All you’re thinking of is how soon a doctor will see you and order a pain reliever.

I tell you this because it happened to me. When I was a target of bullying in school, two girls in my class died in a horrific car crash during the eleventh grade. As much as I hate admitting it today, I could not have cared less about it back then.

Naturally, I don’t feel the same today. Now, decades later, I’m sorry that happened to them. At the time it happened, I had absolutely no heart for the girls. I even had the attitude that it had served them right. I thought that maybe I’d get lucky and a few more bullies would drop dead soon.

I’m so glad that this attitude changed once I had my first child. I became sorry that those girls lost their lives. It’s funny how quickly you mature once you become a parent.

Back in school, I did not have it in me to care.

After a person endures bullying for a long time, they can become cold toward others. As a result, it will only bring about resentment from people who might otherwise offer love and support.

Therefore, if you are a target of bullying in school or at work, never let it take away your humanity. It won’t be easy, but do your level best to hold on to your empathy.

Bully-Victims:

Sometimes Bullied People Bully People

Bullying hurts. It’s not the physical beatings in the locker room. It isn’t people tripping you in the hallways, nor having your books knocked out of your arms. It isn’t the name-calling and threats, nor the rumors, lies, and smear campaigns. And it’s not the cruel jokes and pranks.

It’s the cumulative sum of all of it.

It leaves you with a sense that you’ve lost all control over your life. It is as if you no longer get a say in what happens to you. Bully-victims feel they have power over nothing!

Therefore, they become desperate – desperate to have power over something, anything! You soon begin to bully those who are even more vulnerable than you are.

Through your own victimization, you quickly learn that to keep from being so powerless, you must bully too. Therefore, by bullying you, bullies unwittingly teach you how to bully.

This is why we call these people bully-victims. Because they are both bullies and victims of other bullies, they bully to feel better about themselves and to ascend a few rungs up the social ladder.

On the other hand, pure bullies are individuals who don’t get bullied by others.

Bully-Victims:

Both Bullies and Victims.

Bully-victims are both bullies and victims of bullying by other bullies. And they bully far more than the pure bullies do because they have more to prove.

Bully victims are far more hated and ostracized than pure bullies or pure victims. They’re lonelier and have few friends or none at all.

Bully-victims often resort to trickery and deceit. Many are pathological liars, cheats, fakes, and sneaks. They believe that humans are the lowest form of life on earth. Bully-victims tend to be Machiavellian. I certainly was.

Understand that bully-victims need help. They need someone to get it through their heads that just because people are bullying them doesn’t make it okay to bully someone else.

However, we must tell them lovingly and with patience. Why? Because they’re hurting inside and need someone to listen to them and gently guide them in the right direction.

It’s easy to become a bully when you’re a target of bullying.

It’s too easy! Because after others bully you for so long, you search for ways to buffer the pain. You search for a band-aid, any band-aid, even if it’s temporary!

Many targets become bullies themselves because they’re just plain tired of being powerless. They desire to have control over something —or someone. We all want to be in control of something because to have power over nothing is the very definition of hell!

And nothing renders you as powerless as being bullied by everyone. Once you become completely helpless, you’ll start looking for instant gratification and do anything to achieve some sense of power.

Again, in their cruel treatment of you, your bullies teach you that bullying another person is what it takes. You’ll think that it’s the only way to achieve that sense of control and to climb the social ladder.

Finding a victim of your own gives you the sense that you’re not on the bottom of the pecking order anymore. And you think, “Why not? It’s working for them (the bullies), so it should work for me too.”

The problem with this is that bullies are cowardly and pathetic. Therefore, if you bully someone else, it shows that you’re no better than they are!

Bully-Victims:

If you bully others because people bully you, you’re no better than your bullies.

In fact, it proves that you’re worse because you know firsthand how it feels and should know better. You must realize that no one else would feel any different from you if it were happening to them.

In fact, they may not be as resilient as you are and end up taking their own lives. Their blood would be on your hands!

I’m ashamed and sorry to have to tell you, but I did the same thing during my school days. Because I felt utterly powerless, I began to bully people I thought were weaker than me. I own that, and I have remorse for it now.

Take it from someone who’s tried it. If you become a bully and attack others, you may get a rush of power. However, it will last only briefly because it wears off quickly.

Then, you’ll be back to square one and looking for the next rush. You’ll seek your victim out again and again because you’ll always feel you must have more! It’s no different than having a drug addiction!

If bullying doesn’t come naturally to you, it will only eat away at your conscience!

I implore you! Instead of bullying people who look like prey, align with them. Become their friend and their protector. I guarantee you! You’ll feel much better about yourself.

More importantly, you’ll make a positive difference in their lives, and there’s no better feeling than that! Knowing that you’ve helped someone and made life better for them is more rewarding than you realize!

Realizing that you were possibly the difference that kept that person from ending their own life is a feeling so wonderful, words can’t describe it! I promise you!

Bully-Victims:

Here are 4 Reasons Victims of Bullying Become Bullies.

There are reasons victims of bullying become bullies. However, reasons are not excuses.

1. To get the negative spotlight off them and onto someone else.

“Don’t look at me, look at him!” This is why victims will bully someone else. If they can take the negative spotlight off themselves, they will anytime they get the chance.

As long as bullies are targeting someone else, they’re leaving you alone. Therefore, you bully someone else, hoping to divert the bully’s attention to the other victim.

2. So that they don’t feel like they’re the only ONES picked on.

No bullied victim wants to be the only one. It feels much better when someone else is being bullied right along with you. Misery loves company, and having someone to share your suffering provides a sense of comfort.

When someone else is being bullied like you are, your situation doesn’t feel so isolated. Therefore, the bullying becomes easier to bear. Why?

Because the bullying feels less like an individual defect. Therefore, it lessens some of the shame and isolation that often accompany being bullied. Also, when you see someone else enduring the same treatment, it validates your feelings and experiences.

It makes you feel stronger because you share something in common with the other person who endures bullying.

Bully-victims want that commonality with someone… anyone. It’s why they create other victims by bullying those who are weaker than they are.

3. Bully-Victims:

To Feel Like They Still HAVE a Little Bit of Power Left.

These kids bully because they are being bullied themselves, either in the home, at school, or both. They feel powerless. So, to reclaim some of the power, they seek out someone even weaker and bully them.

These individuals have a strong need to be in control of something in their lives. For example, a child is yelled at by his parents. Then he gets mad and kicks the dog. This is why I call this “Kicking the Dog.”

That child has lost control. So, he tries to create that sense of power by victimizing the dog.

4. To keep for being at the bottom of the social hierarchy.

No one wants to be at the bottom of the pecking order. As the age-old saying goes, To avoid being at the bottom, these types often find someone else to bully, so they don’t think they’re the ones stuck in the basement.

Again, nobody wants to be on the bottom. Everybody wants to be better than somebody. It’s a sad part of human nature.

“Shit rolls downhill and lands at the bottom.” Therefore, just as people are fighting like the devil to stay on top, others struggle just as hard to keep off the bottom.

Person A at the top bullies Person B, who is second from the top. Person B then bullies Person C, and so on. And down the pecking order, the nastiness rolls until it lands on Person Z at the bottom.

Then, everyone bullies Person Z because Person Z is defenseless! There’s no one for Person Z to bully because he’s the one with the least power of all the others.

Bully-victims:

No one wants to be on the bottom.

Anyone on the bottom is going to catch hell because they’re powerless. And others will do their best to keep the designated bottom-rat at the bottom because no one wants that position.

Therefore, everyone keeps Z down to ensure that none of them ever takes Z’s place.
That’s how it works, folks!

As long as someone else is on the bottom, it keeps you and everyone else safe from being there. It’s why bully-victims get bullied by pure bullies, then go on to select their own victims to degrade and humiliate.

However, most of the time, this doesn’t turn out well. Because sometimes, bully-victims become worse off than pure bullies or pure victims.

I tell you this because I did the same thing. I also became a bully after other bullies had harmed me for so long and stripped me of all my power. And I admit this today with tremendous sadness and remorse. I didn’t like myself very much back then. However, I’m glad that I don’t need to resort to such behavior today.

In Closing:

Remember that, if people bully you, you don’t have to become a bully yourself to survive or reclaim your power. There are better ways to take back control of your life.

I’ve found that the best way to do that is to befriend other victims of bullying and provide the support they need. It may not seem like it, but you aren’t the only one your bullies bully. There are others.

Find out who those people are and become the friend they need. Then, you both win!

This post is all about bully-victims so that you can recognize it in yourself and make the needed changes.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. When the Bullied Become Bullies

2. Bullying Survival Mode: 5 Things Victims of Bullying Do Wrong 

Bullying Story: Endurance, Survival, and the Will to Overcome

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Here’s a bullying story. It’s a story of not only the will to survive but the will to overcome and begin thriving. Also, it’s a story of healing and re-empowerment.

bullying story

In this post, you will learn what it means to endure bullying, survive it and overcome it through a true bullying story. Also, you will see what life is like through the eyes of a bullying victim and later, a survivor and overcomer.

Once you learn all about these real-life experiences, you will know that you are not alone if you endure the same thing now. Moreover, you will understand that you, too, can overcome and look forward to a rewarding life with friends who truly care for you.

This post shares a bullying story filled with true-life experiences to offer you hope and encouragement.

Bullying Story

I didn’t experience bullying, nothing beyond usual teasing, until I moved to a small Tennessee town after having been an Army Brat and lived in several different areas. Until then, bullying had always been something that happened to kids in the movies.

When I became a target of severe and chronic bullying as a sixth-grader at the age of twelve, I began a long lesson in the human predator/prey dynamic and a battle for my dignity, safety, and my very soul.

During the sixth grade, I never fought back. My family had taught me that decent young ladies didn’t fight. So, I took the physical beatings, name-calling, and abuse. However, what I didn’t realize was that my classmates were growing accustomed to bullying me.

When the Bullying Escalates

When I entered seventh grade at the age of thirteen, the harassment by my classmates reached a fever pitch. The abuse my classmates subjected me to is called “poly-victimization.” They called me names and slandered me. Moreover, they would humiliate me with pranks. When the bullying grew out of control, they began threatening me and physically attacking me.

And after enough of it, I learned the hard way that I had two choices: either take a stand and fight back or get eaten alive. However, it seemed that the more I tried to set boundaries, the worse the bullying became.

The physical bullying was brutal. I suffered horrible beatings, and it escalated to the point of having a box cutter pulled on me and my life threatened.

Every morning before going to school, I would feel a huge lump in my throat and swallow hard. It took everything I had in me to step onto that school bus. Why? Because I knew what would be waiting for me as soon as I walked through the school entrance.

Bullying Story:

Enduring Daily Abuse

During P.E., I excelled at some sports but struggled with others. I loved volleyball and kickball, but basketball and baseball weren’t my strong suits. Music and writing stories were my gifts, not sports.

However, students and a few teachers judged me because I wasn’t an athlete or a member of a sorority. I was musically talented and creative. So, what they were doing was akin to judging a fish on its ability to fly.

In just two short years, I went from being a confident and outgoing kid to one who was sad and withdrawn.  Additionally, I transitioned from a student who consistently made the honor roll to one who earned C’s and D’s.

Schoolwork had always been so easy for me. I had been one of those lucky kids who didn’t have to pick up a book.

All I had to do was listen in class and complete my homework (which I could do in minutes). And I would ace every test. But in a matter of two years, the schoolwork went from being a piece of cake to being complicated and overwhelming.

Who can concentrate on schoolwork when they’re busy looking over their shoulder and dodging bullies? Who can learn effectively when they’re constantly in survival mode?

The Bullying Becomes Unbearable

The torment became next to unbearable. So much so that I attempted suicide at the age of fourteen. As a result, I spent a week in the ICU and almost didn’t make it.

It was a hell I would never wish on anyone, not even my worst enemy. My classmates had stripped me of every ounce of power I had.

Trying to keep a calm demeanor amid so much toxicity and desperately hanging onto my dignity with everything I had was exhausting! It felt as if they were holding me hostage. At times, teachers and a few school staff members would also join in the bullying.

Bullying Story:

When the victim Becomes a Bully

Because I felt powerless, I began to bully those who were even weaker than I was. The reason I did this was to reclaim some of the power bullies had taken from me. This is not something I’m proud of.

There was no one I could turn to. Back then, people considered bullying to be a normal rite of passage. Therefore, I had to deal with it on my own.

Anytime I spoke out about or reported the mistreatment, they shouted me down. The other classmates would tell me to “keep my mouth shut.”

Teachers and school staff blamed me for my own suffering. Other adults labelled me a whiner and ridiculed me because they saw speaking out as a sign of weakness. I received no help or relief.

The Stripping Away of Personhood

They never allowed me to be a human being. Moreover, they gave no margin for error. Instead, they would minimize or ignore any good deeds, accomplishments, and successes. And they would maximize any mistakes.

If I wore a dress and went to class all dolled up, I was trying to either impress people, get a date, or get laid. And if I wore my jeans the slightest bit tight, I looked like a whore.

If I cried, they would accuse me of being too sensitive. But if I laughed, they accused me of trying to get attention. If I became angry, they labelled me mentally unstable. But if I was friendly, I was either flirting or trying to kiss up. If I smiled, I was secretly plotting something devious.

They never allowed me to be myself, and it was exhausting. It felt as if I were suffering a slow and agonizing social murder.

Bullying Story:

The Transfer

The day came when two classmates attacked me from behind when I was four months pregnant with my first child. They threw me over a teacher’s desk, then kicked me as I lay curled in a fetal position on the floor.

All I could do was try to protect my unborn baby by shielding my growing belly with both arms. Luckily, my unborn child survived and came into the world healthy later that year.

After the last attack, I was done with Oakley High. I changed schools, and the bullying stopped. Words cannot tell you the relief I felt when I transferred to a new school! I could finally learn in a safer and less stressful environment!

A Safer Learning Environment.

I loved my new school. And I felt like a bird out of a cage! The feeling was of being released from a nearly six-year-long prison sentence. I had done my time in hell, and now I could put it all behind me. It was then that I began the process of rebuilding my life.

While riding in the car, on the way to my new school, I sat in the passenger seat, next to my then-husband. As he drove, I cried tears of joy.

It was hard to believe that I had finally escaped the persecution! The pain had grown so great I couldn’t even cry! It was all finally over, and I could start a new and better chapter in my life.

Sure enough, I went on to make friends with my new classmates, but more importantly, my grades skyrocketed! The transformation of my grades seemed to happen suddenly and like magic!

After five years, I made the honor roll again and then finally graduated.

I now lead a successful life and use what I went through to help bullied kids today. Anytime I hear of an innocent child bullied into suicide, it truly breaks my heart.

When People Judge Bullying victims who have given up, it makes me cringe.

What’s even more heartbreaking is the attitudes and remarks I hear from others around me when a tragedy like this happens! I often hear statements such as:

  • “But that boy was so quiet!”
  • “Really??? Still waters run deep!”
  • “But that girl always kept to herself!”
  • “No joke! Just as an AIDS patient keeps his diagnosis to himself!”
  • “Shame on him! He was such a coward!”
  • “Right! Anyone running through the woods from a wild boar would look like a coward to someone sitting safely in a tree! You spend a few years being bullied by everyone you know and see how mighty and brave you are! You’ll find out how quickly your life can go to crap!”

If you haven’t experienced it, you’ll never know what it is to be a target of bullying. I was fortunate enough to survive and move on to happiness and success. But many victims don’t, which is why writing about bullying and advocating for victims is my passion.

Bullying Story:

Although being bullied is never a good thing, I did get a few positive takeaways:

  • Having been bullied has made me appreciate the great friends I have today. It also gave me empathy and compassion for others and a desire to help those who endure the same!
  • Having been bullied made a strong woman out of me. It made me more determined never to quit until I reach a goal! Knowing that bullies often bully out of jealousy and fear is the motivation for me.’
  • Being bullied gave me the determination to love myself, put myself first, and the willingness to say “no” anytime I am asked or told to do something that does not feel right!
  • Having been bullied gave me the determination to follow my dreams, to do things I enjoy most, and to achieve success.
  • Having been bullied has given me hope. Because I know that if I can go through bullying and survive, then I can rise above anything!
  • It gave me a soft spot and a great willingness to fight for the underdog.
  • And lastly, it sharpened my BS detector, giving me the ability to read people, spot a bully instantly, and avoid being targeted!

Being a target of bullying almost broke me, yes! But in the end, it made me! Keeping a bullying journal is what saved me. So, I advise you to keep one. Bullying won’t last forever. If you’re a target of bullying and you don’t give up, you too can survive and emerge a winner!

This post was a bullying story to encourage you to keep going when things seem hopeless.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Encouraging Words for Bullying: You Can Overcome!

2. Bullying Journal: 8 Reasons You Should Keep One

3. It Only Gets Better: There is Life After Bullying

sexual bullying in schools

Sexual Bullying: Bullied Girls and Sexual Harassment in School

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‘Want to know about sexual bullying? Here are all the details you need to know about.

sexual bullying

Sexual bullying is real, and it usually happens to bullied women and girls. Females who are chronically bullied especially suffer from it. Why? Because people have bullied them for so long that they’ve grown comfortable abusing them.

And, because they never faced accountability for it, they know that they’ll get away with sexually harassing these girls, too.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about sexual bullying and what constitutes it.

Once you learn these crucial details, you will be able to better defend yourself from it.

This post is all about sexual bullying so that you can recognize it and stand up to it.

Sexual Bullying

Often, when a girl is a target of bullying, the torment she suffers leaves her wide open for sexual harassment. And, sadly, this isn’t discussed enough.

The harassment can range from inappropriate and embarrassing comments to unwanted physical touching. I’m female and am writing this post from a female perspective. However, I realize that this can happen to bullied young men as well, though not often.

What it’s like for a bullied female to endure sexual harassment

I cannot tell you how many stories I’ve heard from other female victims and survivors of bullying. And I can relate to them.

Numerous times, my bullies subjected me to this type of behavior when I was in junior high and high school. Young creeps on the bus would sneakily run a hand up my skirt. Boys in the lunch line, who stood behind me, would grab a handful of my behind.

The males who bullied me would make sexual comments. It was enough to make me sick!

As any woman or girl knows, when people hurl sexual comments at you, grope, and feel you up, it leaves you feeling cheap and violated.

Why do we blame ourselves?

If you have ever suffered this kind of bullying, your first thought is to blame yourself. You automatically wonder what you did to bring it about.

  • “Was my dress too short?”
  • “Were my jeans too tight?”
  • “Did I have on too much makeup?”

It feels bad enough when you blame yourself. But it’s worse when others do it.

What happens when you endure Sexual Bullying

If you are a female victim of bullying, several things can happen after male bullies harass you sexually.

1. other girls will blame you for it.

Even worse is when other girls side with the creeps and blame you for their disgusting behavior.
This happens all the time, but most girls are silent about it.

Other girls may see the male bully touch you inappropriately. However, they will only assume that you “must have done something to make him do it.” They will say that somehow, you “asked for it.”

2. You will attract jealousy from the creep’s girlfriend and her friends.

If the male bully who groped you in the hallway has a girlfriend. She won’t place her anger where it belongs. Oh, no. Even if he does it right in front of her, she won’t yell at him for it. Why? Because, in most cases, these creeps’ girlfriends don’t want to risk pissing them off and losing them.

Instead, the girlfriend will accuse you of trying to steal her boyfriend. She may call you a slut. She may tell her friends that you’re a cheap whore and try to ruin your good name.

All the while, the pig who violated you walks away free as a bird. This only doubles the victimization. It’s no different from the aftermath that a rape victim goes through!

Sexual Bullying:

Other girls will also sexually harass you.

Believe it or not, female bullies can also sexually harass their female victims. Only they do it in different ways. Girls sexually harass other girls by verbal means. They make vicious comments such as,

  • “Nobody will $%#! you.”
  • “I’ll bet you’re still a virgin, aren’t you?”
  • ”You’d $%&# anything that moves!”
  • “Your _____ smells like a sewer!”

These are only a few, and I’ve heard worse. Sometimes, the other girls will encourage the male bullies to harass you sexually. Afterwards, they will turn it around on you, calling you a whore, slut, take your pick.

In school, I knew another bullied girl who others referred to as “Tuna Fish.” I’ll say no more.

Sexually Humiliating Comments

Understand that any time people bully a female, they make the most unspeakable comments and remarks. Moreover, they’re bold enough to do it to her face.

They’re so horrible and explicit that you don’t dare repeat them by mouth, much less write them in a book or article. There is no limit to the low that sexual bullies will sink.

These bullies can invent the raunchiest and raciest epithets. They can come up with the dirtiest, most vile, hurtful, and demeaning comments and actions.

Anyone who hasn’t been on the receiving end of it would be shocked if they heard or saw some of the things a bullied girl has. Bullies show a side to their victims they would never in a million years reveal to anyone else.

Sexual Bullying:

Victims of bullying usually learn about human cruelty early.

Objects of bullying witness firsthand the shocking evil and cruelty of which people are capable. They see the absolute darkest sides of the human character.

When bullied girls are sexually harassed, they stay silent. And, they do it for good reasons.

You must realize that bullies are experts at fooling bystanders and authority. They are highly skilled at manipulating a social infrastructure.

Bullies are also aware that if the victim reports such abuse, others will not believe her. Why? Because the same bullies have meticulously ruined her once good reputation.

Who’s going to take the word of someone with a notoriously bad name? Who’s going to believe a “slut” or a “whore” when she reports sexual harassment?

Understand that bullies will only show the worst sides of their characters to their victims and no one else. And why not? To bullies, the victim is both inferior and powerless.

When a person believes that you are inferior and powerless, they couldn’t care less about what you think of them. As far as they’re concerned, any opinions you have are irrelevant.

Whereas, anyone the bullies see as equals or superiors will only see the best sides of their character.

Here are the characteristics of sexual bullying:

1. Sexual Comments

Both males and females may make sexual comments toward you. Sexual remarks are those that mention sexual acts or sexual body parts. They can also be remarks that may not necessarily mention but imply sexual acts and anatomy.

For example, one of your bullies may tell you, “You’d spread your legs to anyone, wouldn’t you?”

But, make no mistake, your bully is sexually harassing you, and you have a right to stand up to it. And, how you stand up to it is to speak out.

2. Groping

Groping includes putting their hands up your dress or grabbing your breasts, behind, or genitals. If nothing else, remember this! No one has the right to touch you inappropriately. In fact, they don’t have the right to put their hands on you at all!

3. Sexual Name-Calling

Bullies shame female targets for their looks, femininity, and virtues. They call you names like “hoe,””whore,” “slut”, and other names that attack you as a woman.

They may even call you the c-word. Therefore, you must realize that when they do this, they are sexually harassing you.

Here’s how you handle male bullies who put their hands on you.

Therefore, call them out on it. Better yet, haul off and punch them as hard as you can. If your bully is male and he hits you for it, play the woman card! Point out that he just hit a woman and that he is a pathetic coward for it.

Sexual Bullying:

No matter what they tell you, you are not to blame.

Sexual bullying and harassment are wrong, no matter who deals it and who it is aimed at.

If you are a bullied female, I want you to know with every fiber of your being that it isn’t your fault. You are not responsible for someone else’s rotten behavior.

Know that you never asked for that kind of behavior, nor brought any of it on yourself.
If you are bullied and endure sexual harassment, do not take any blame for it. And for goodness’ sake, don’t be afraid to report it!

They may not listen to you. However, there’s also no way they can avoid hearing you. Again, you have a right to report sexual harassment. No one has the right to harass you!

The abuse won’t last forever

Know that the abuse you suffer will not last forever. The bullying will eventually stop. And, one day, if you hold on to your confidence and goodness, others will love and respect you.

Realize that this challenging period is only one chapter in your life, not the entire book. You too can overcome and move on to love, happiness, and success.

Just don’t give up! You are beautiful! You are a great person despite what others may tell you or how they may treat you. And some people love you and care for you!

This post is all about sexual bullying so that you can recognize it and stand up to it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Female Bullies: 7 Reasons They Bully Other Women and Girls

2. Bullying Statistics Male vs Female: How Males and Females Bully

3. A woman who Knows Her Worth: 7 Things She’ll Never Settle for

bullying research introduction

Bullying Research: 5 Reasons to Study and Learn about Bullying

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‘Want to know how bullying research can give you the knowledge to protect yourself psychologically and physically? Here is all the information you need to know.

bullying research

Knowing about bullying is the best way to protect yourself from it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the importance of bullying research so that you can read up on it and get the knowledge you need to defend yourself should you find yourself in the crosshairs of a bully.

Once you learn all about these crucial details and why knowing is vital, you will be a more challenging target for bullies, and they will avoid you and select someone who isn’t so knowledgeable.

This post is all about bullying research so that you can better protect yourself against bullies.

Bullying Research

Knowledge is power! Therefore, if you suffer from bullying at school, at work, or anywhere, doing your research on bullying is the first step in defending yourself against it.

Learning about Bullying and the Power Dynamic

I began researching bullying in the early to mid-nineties. The goal was to learn everything there was to know about it.

I wanted to know why people bully and what drives bullies to single out certain people. Also, I was curious about what bullies look for in victims, how bullying affects different people, and what characteristics determine victim selection.

Why? Because it is better to learn from it than to let it traumatize you.

How the Learning Began

During the nineties, I went through countless library books, magazine articles, news columns, anything relating to the subject of bullying. I read about the different personalities of bullies, bystanders, and victims.

I also pored through books and articles about politics, social infrastructures, and the power dynamic.

Also, I consulted my PC and reviewed numerous online articles and essays on the subject. I begin with Tim Field and bullyonline.org, based in the UK.

I remember emailing him with many questions on bullying, and he always replied curiously and promptly. From him, I learned so much.

I was surprised to find that so many others had suffered bullying as well. They were celebrities, musicians, writers, doctors, attorneys, teachers, homemakers, people from all walks of life.

I am saddened that Mr. Field is no longer with us and that his website was taken down. I will be forever grateful to him for sharing his expertise. He was the encouragement I needed to learn more about the subject.

Bullying Research:

Knowledge was the turning point.

In my years of research, I’ve attained a vast wealth of knowledge on bullying. Moreover, this is knowledge which has served me well both professionally and socially.

In my in-depth study of bullies, I have gained so much insight into the minds and personalities of my former classmates and all bullies.

In reading countless testimonies of victims and survivors, I realize that none of it was all in my head. None of it was my fault, as my classmates and a few of my teachers had cruelly forced me to believe.

Bullying is timeless and universal.

Bullying and the tactics used, from whisper campaigns to witch hunts to threats of bodily harm, have gone on since the beginning of time. It’s nothing new.

During the years I was bullied in school, I had tried reporting it. Also, I had tried speaking out only to be ignored, shamed, retaliated against, and blamed for it. But this is also nothing new.

Because no one would listen, I grabbed a pen. I began writing in a daily journal about the daily bullying I suffered at school. Why? Because I needed a record of the abuse in case the bullies at school hurt me so badly that I’d need hospitalization or worse, murder me.

I even had one of my journals taken from me by a teacher in the eighth grade, and I never saw it again. Luckily, I kept a backup hidden at home and didn’t lose anything.

By the time I switched schools during my senior year, I had filled several journals with countless stories. They were those of social aggression, emotional torment, and brutal beatings dished out by my classmates.

Bullying Research:

The Beginnings of the first Memoir

I kept those journals put away in a storage bin for decades because I knew that one day, I would write a book about my experiences. That book, “From Victim to Victor: A Survivor’s True Story of Her Experiences with School Bullying,” is now published and available.

With knowledge comes power. If you’ve had something terrible happen in your life- something so awful that it deeply affected your life, learn about it instead of agonizing over it.

Instead of being angry over something that happened in the past, learn as much as you can about it. Then use it to protect yourself from any future bullying.

Also, you can use it to help others who are going through the same. I guarantee that it will bring healing, unlike anything you can imagine!

Nothing heals you like taking on adversity and learning from it. You can use it as a weapon against future bullies and to help other victims! Try it! You’ll be glad you did!

your bullies will no longer scare you. They will bore you.

If only your bullies had a clue. If only they knew what sniveling cowards they are. And, if only they realized that some of us are smarter than they think. Bullies don’t realize that some people can see right through them.

They can’t see what some people see behind their pathetic attempts to look bigger, better, and brighter than they really are. Because if they did, they would want to crawl into a hole somewhere and hide.

In their feeble attempts to instill fear in and control others through yelling, screaming, and cursing tirades, they look like basket cases. Through their passive-aggressive dirty looks, scowls, and eye-rolls, bullies don’t look all-powerful. They only look desperate.

Their relentless jockeying for power only gives them the appearance of weakness and desperation, not strength and ambition.

Bullying Research:

IF you do your research, you will learn that Bullies are weak and pathetic.

Their threats toward anyone smaller or weaker only expose their fear. Why? Because they would never risk going toe to toe with someone of equal power. And the sad truth is that bullies know it too.

They use victims to hide from the truth of their insecurities. Bullies hide behind victims like a baby hides behind its mother’s skirt.

Their pitiful attempts to use others as a shield to conceal their flaws make them look exactly as they are. They are fakes, frauds, and impostors.

The bullies’ false bravado only proves that they’re not to be taken seriously. It only evidences their pathetic self-loathing.

Bullying Research:

Realize that you are much better off than your bullies.

Knowing that bullies must expend so much energy to hide their true selves? It will make you scoff at them. And knowing they must work so hard to keep others down only makes you laugh behind their backs.

Why? Because you don’t have to work as they do.

Think about it. Most bullies bully in groups. And they always select one person to bully. Therefore, it takes all of them to try to bring down one person. I’m laughing as I type this.

Most targets are comfortable being themselves. Therefore, you can save your energy to create your own happiness and success. It’s so sad that bullies can’t.

Bullies are pitiful. Why? Because their hatred for you burns them up inside. It eats away at their souls and blocks them from any peace and happiness they might otherwise attain.

So, even as your bullies unleash their vitriol on you, you don’t hate them. Why? Because they’re not worth the energy it takes to hate.

Once you learn what bullying is really about, you’ll only pity your bullies.

You’ll only feel sorry for them. Why? Because you will know that at their very core, they’re miserable human beings. And you will realize that your bullies will never achieve growth and become better people.

You will figure out that behind your bullies’ made-up faces and fancy clothes and hairdos, there’s no substance. There’s no authenticity or anything solid.

You’ll discover that the only thing behind their weak and shaky facades is hot air! Nothingness! Dead space!

Bullying Research:

Seeing Behind the Veil of Perfection

Though your bullies paint themselves as most valuable, they bring nothing to the table. They may glitter and sparkle, but not all that glitters is gold. It’s only fool’s gold.

Bullies tear people down, undermine their creativity, and take credit for their ideas. But only because they aren’t smart enough to be original. They never had an original thought in their entire lives!

If you are a target of bullying, you will be thankful you gained this knowledge.

There are so many other things you will learn about bullies. You will discover that bullies only surround themselves with people just like them. They will attract coattail hitchhikers who are unable to think for themselves. They will draw in wannabes who’ll jump through a thousand hoops to make “the right people” like and favor them.

Your bullies will be magnets for people who are nothing but followers, drones, lackeys, and patsies. In a nutshell, they’re only losers disguised as winners.

You will get free entertainment from your BULLIES’ trash talk.

Bullies will talk so much garbage. But instead of making you feel bad, they’ll only give you free entertainment. Why? Because you will see that talk is cheap and that’s all your bullies can do.

Also, you’ll discover that they’re right about one thing. You are different from them. You’re nothing like any of them. And you will be proud of that!

You’ll be thankful that people like you don’t need lackeys and followers. Why? Because you can improvise, adapt to, and overcome anything. And the best part will be that you have your bullies to thank for that!

Bullying research:

You will make your bullies your motivators.

‘You see? Bullies can teach you how to be inventive. You’re creative because you have to be.

Your bullies can teach you how to get around any roadblock or barrier placed in your path. How? You might ask? They give you plenty of practice!

Your bullies can give you grit. They can give you the strength to weather the storms in life, to stay the course, and to live a better and more rewarding life.

Bullies can make you determined to get what you want out of life. In trying to break you down, they can set you on your path to success. And, without meaning to!

While they stay in their comfort zones and live mediocre lives, you’re willing to endure a little discomfort. Why?

Because you know that’s what it takes to expand your horizons and live an extraordinary life. And you know that it will pay off one day.

While your bullies followed the latest fads and trends, you were developing those of the future.

Bullying Research:

Once you learn about bullies and bullying, you will embrace their hatred of you.

Your bullies may have brought you down, but they won’t keep you down. In the end, you may rise higher than they could ever imagine. And that will be another reason they hate you.

But the fun part is, you will welcome and embrace your bullies’ hatred. This is what happens when you do your research and learn as much about bullying as you can.

You learn why people bully and where the behavior comes from. And you can debunk any myths about bullying. You’ll also understand where their power really comes from and the stuff bullies try to hide.

Then you will realize just how pathetic bullies really are. And, once you do, their games will no longer faze you.

This post was all about bullying research and the power of knowledge to compel you to learn everything you can about bullies and bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying Myths: 5 Widely-Held Beliefs about Bullies and Victims

2. Imbalance of Power in Bullying: 3 Sources of Power for Bullies

3. Things School Bullies Try to Hide: 13 Things They’re Ashamed Of