How Bullies Gain Power: 9 Astonishing Ways They Do It.

December 11, 2024December 11, 2024Leave a comment

‘Want to know how bullies gain power so that you can use it to your advantage and better protect yourself?

If you’ve ever been a victim of bullying, you’ve probably wondered how bullies magically do bad stuff, convince authority to side with them, and get away with it. Moreover, you’ve wondered how they seem to advance quickly and bypass any rules.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn exactly how bullies gain power so that you can call it out and protect yourself.

Once you learn all about these details, you will be able to better understand this dynamic, prepare yourself, and use it to your advantage.

This post will give you the answers to how bullies gain power so that you can know what to expect with bullies and defend yourself against them.

How bullies gain power

First, lets talk about the reasons bullies crave power.

Why Bullies Crave Power

Simple. Because it feels good.

“Power is not what you have. It’s what the enemy thinks you have.” ~ Saul D. Alinsky (Rules for Radicals)

Bullies crave power like a kid craves candy, even if that power is only an illusion. And, let’s face it, power tastes delicious.

Power feels good because it gets people prestige, street cred, notoriety, and popularity. Moreover, power has a way of cushioning the ego. As we already know, most bullies lives are meaningless outside the bullying environment (school, work, community, etc.).

Do you ever wonder where bullies get their power and how they seem to get away with their evil actions?

1. They’re notorious suck-ups.

Bullies have a knack for appealing to those in authority and winning them over to their side. Understand that bullies are very convincing liars and they use charm and allure to disarm authority.

Also, most people in authority love it when people suck up to them and bullies instinctively know this. And because bullies kiss the right butts, supervisors, managers, and HR are more likely to overlook it.

This makes it easier for them to thumb rides on others’ coattails.

Moreover, in school, bullies often suck up to teachers, principals, and school officials. Moreover, many impress them with academics and being on the sports teams and in clubs.

Add that to their parents having connections with town and city big-shots, and they have the freedom to bully at will.

2. How Bullies Gain POwer:

Taking credit for other people’s work and ideas.

Bullies are, in many cases, the most clueless and incompetent employees in a company. I’ve known many who didn’t have the sense to come in out of the rain.

However, they somehow convinced supervisors and managers that they were the brightest of the bunch. Also, the bullies were the ones who always seem to get all the promotions and bonuses.

It turned out that these creeps were taking credit for the works and ideas of others. And when I discovered this, it hit me. This is why incompetent bullies are so successful at concealing their stupidity?

Additionally, bullies undermine the accomplishments and successes of other employees. Moreover, they talk over them to keep them from speaking and deride coworkers they view as threats.

Is it any wonder they’re able to get away with their garbage and worse, rewarded for it?
The sooner we get the word out and bust these predators, the more we’ll know what to look for in cases such as these.

3. Bullies are very convincing liars.

Bullies have been lying and covering up bad behavior all of their lives. Moreover, they’ve done it for long enough that they have learned what works and what doesn’t.

Therefore, they’re master manipulators who are skilled in the arts of deception.

Also, bullies are also very good at rationalizing and justifying their atrocious behavior. They are wordsmiths and con artists, who use charm to deceive those in authority. This brings us to number four.

4. How Bullies Gain Power:

Bullies are charming to the right people.

In other words, as mentioned in number 1, they kiss ass. But here’s another thing to consider. Bullies can weaponize this charm against their victims.

How?

Again, most bullies seem to emit an oozing charm. Because of this, they have ways of winning people over and making them their allies.

Therefore, with their good name, the bully has everyone (except the victim) fooled. For example, let’s look at the seemingly sweet, innocent girl who bullies another girl who threatens her position in a school.

Others want to be like her. She seems like a winner. Everyone loves her and envies her seemingly charmed life.

The bullied girl reports her. However, others just can’t believe that “this sweet, innocent, pretty little girl” would harm a fly.

Here’s another example:

Take a look at the outgoing guy that everyone loves.

He seemingly comes from good family. He’s the star of the football team, has good college prospects, and his future looks bright. However, he bullies a smaller boy and beats him badly enough to send him to the hospital. All because the boy is smaller!

The bullied boys’ parents press charges. But sadly, no one believes that this “fine young man” would ever beat up a smaller boy unless he was provoked.

5. How Bullies Gain POwer:

Having many friends who cherish them.

Therefore, even if these friends did witness them undertake any wrongdoing, they will act as if they didn’t see anything. In other words, they will cover-up for the bully out of loyalty and place the blame on the target.

6. There is strength in numbers.

Understand that most bullies attack in groups, or more appropriately, mobs. Being in a mob gives people tremendous power and bullies know it. Therefore, people in large numbers wield a cumulative power that packs a mighty punch.

This can be overwhelming even for the greatest, toughest, strongest, most intelligent individuals. To put it plainly, if enough people actively hate a certain person, that person is powerless. And this stands, no matter how strong, smart, beautiful, or easy-going they may be.

In other words, if enough people are against you, you don’t have a chance in hell.

However, know this. Individually, most bullies don’t have a life. In other words, they need the mob to prop them up. So, the power they get from being a part of a mob adds “meaning” to their lives that they could never get by any other means. Power is what gives bullies a cause and a purpose in life.

Moreover, in a group, they can bully a target, lose themselves in the bullying, and get a degree of anonymity.

Therefore, bullies are much safer in the group. The group shields each bully from taking any responsibility for their appalling behavior. Groups provide protection from exposure and personal consequences.

How Bullies Gain Power: Each Individual member does so from the group

So, how do you fight back against a mob?

One way is to call out one or two of their members by their names and tell them to “get a grip,” “knock it off,” or “calm down.”

It’s true. I recently read this in a book about survival and it makes perfect sense. Anytime you call out a few members of a mob by their names, it brings them back to themselves by personalizing them.

What you’re doing is basically, separating them from the mob when you loudly call out their name. How I wish I’d known this earlier in life.

7. How Bullies Gain Power:

They use projection.

Bullies project all their faults and shortcomings onto their victims. In other words, they switch the roles and paint the victim as the instigator and themselves the innocent victim who was only defending themselves.

However, when that doesn’t work and they do face accountability for their evil actions, they often cry and feign victim-hood. This tactic is usually employed by female bullies, who also use feminine charm to deceive.

8. They use gaslighting.

In other words, they add their own spin to make you feel like the villain. Your bullies may lay guilt trips on you trying to convince you that you had it coming.

Also, they may try to tell you that the abuse is just your imagination. They may even tell others who will listen that you’re mentally unhinged to discredit you.

However, you must realize that bullies are masters at this. Don’t allow them to gaslight you! Don’t fall for their BS!

9. They use intimidation and fear tactics.

Bullies may threaten you with social consequences to keep you quiet. Also, they may even threaten physical violence. Moreover, they may threaten your friends or family members if you don’t comply with their wishes.

Therefore, it’s wise to pick and choose your battles. In other words, if you know the bully to be a blowhard, then don’t fall for this. However, if the bully is known to harm others’ especially go after friends and family of their victims, defend yourself with caution.

The sooner you learn all about these human predators, the more you’ll know what to look for and how to protect yourself and other innocent victims. Then, you can find ways to use your bullies’ antics as your own power.

This post was about how bullies gain power and how to recognize each power play.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

3. How to Disarm a Bully: 13 Clever Comebacks that Work Wonders

4. Non Verbal Bullying: Hostile Body Language Head to Toe

5. How to Spot a Bully: 13 Must-Know Body-Language Examples

Deliberate Indifference: 7 Reasons Bystanders Won’t Help Victims

November 26, 2024November 24, 20242 Comments

‘Want to know about deliberate indifference and the most common reasons bystanders won’t help victims? These are the proven most common reasons victims of bullying need to be aware of.

Being bullies is bad enough but when others blatantly do not care to help you or acknowledge that people are abusing you, it’s much worse. Therefore, as someone who’s been on the receiving end of it, I’m giving you all the details about deliberate indifference.

In this post, you will learn exactly what deliberate indifference is and all the possible reasons bystanders won’t help you when others bully you.

Once you learn this value and life-changing information, you will be better able to take the best recourse to deal with and possibly alleviate your situation.

This post is all about deliberate indifference and bystanders’ reasons for failure to help that every victim of bullying must know.

Deliberate Indifference

You not only never forget the bullies, but you also remember the people who were there- the people who had the power to help you but did nothing.

Many times, the bystanders who see people bully you never try to intervene and stop the attacks, nor do they speak up on your behalf.

As much as I hate to say it, I was guilty of the same thing years ago. When I watched people bully a few others, I said and did nothing. Why? Because I thought that my voice wouldn’t make a difference if I did speak up. Additionally, other times, I was just damn glad that, for a change, bullies weren’t targeting me.

I was relieved that, finally, someone else taking the heat for a change.

For this, I am very remorseful and would like to apologize to all the other targets I left to fend for themselves. I’m truly sorry.

With that said, here’s the deliberate indifference definition:

According to the LSD Law Website, “deliberate indifference is a term used in criminal law to describe a situation where a person is aware of a problem or danger, but chooses to ignore it or take no action to address it. It can also refer to a lack of interest or concern about something.”

https://www.lsd.law/define/deliberate-indifference#:~:text=Definition%3A%20Deliberate%20indifference%20is%20a,interest%20or%20concern%20about%20something.

Although it happens during the commission of a crime, which is why it’s a legal term, it also happens during incidences of bullying as well.

5 Deliberate Indifference: Reasons Bystanders don’t help victims of bullying

1. They’re afraid of arousing the bullies’ anger and becoming the next target.

No one wants to be a target of bullying. I get that. Many bystanders fear getting involved, and for good reasons. However, many bystanders do have some power because they’re high on the social hierarchy.

And the higher they are in the pecking order, the more weight their words and actions carry. In other words, if some of the bystanders are extremely popular, chances are good that other bystanders will follow their lead.

Moreover, it’s more likely that the bully will leave you alone. There’s strength in numbers.

So, why won’t they use their power to help you when you’re being bullied?

It’s because they fear that speaking out in your defense would automatically weaken their social position. In other words, they’re afraid of losing their popularity.

Therefore, they either watch the attacks without doing anything, or worse. They join in, hoping to further raise their social status.

2. The bystanders see the bullies’ torment of you as entertainment.

Understand that bullies always bully you in front of an audience. In other words, bullying you is a performance to them.

Your bullies are performing in pubic to show their superiority, strength, and power. Moreover, they wish to to humiliate and embarrass you.

During altercations between bullies and targets, bystanders immediately gather around to watch it go down. Moreover, most witnesses will stand around, laughing and pointing fingers.

Many of them cheer and egg the bully on, stirring it up to get more entertainment. Consequently, all this does is encourage the bullies to continue and even escalate the abuse.

Sadly, as long as it isn’t them or someone they love getting dogged out or having their brains beat in, most bystanders think it’s funny to see it happen to someone else.

Therefore, instead of helping the target, bystanders will automatically whip out their smartphones and record the confrontation. They can then watch it later, send the film to their friends, and have another big laugh over it.

However, it’s not the least bit funny to you. It’s painful and humiliating. It can be devastating to a if you’ve already been a target of bullying for an extended time. And if you’re not careful, it can drive you over the edge if you let it.

It’s sad when the only entertainment people get is to see someone get hurt. It only goes to show that these people don’t get enough of it otherwise.

3. Deliberate indifference: The bystanders themselves either dislike or hate you.

In many cases, bullies run vicious smear campaigns and turn everyone against you. Therefore, when an altercation finally breaks out, the bystanders refuse to help you. Why?

Because they think you deserve the abuse. It’s heartbreaking. However, in a case like this, the bystanders secretly or openly take pleasure in seeing you suffer.

They may stand around snickering. Moreover, the bystanders may join the bullies in torturing you.

The bystanders are probably too cowardly to attack you or they’re afraid they’ll get into trouble. Therefore, the bullies are proxies to them.

In other words, the bullies are only doing to you what the bystanders wish they had the stones to do themselves

So, they get complete satisfaction in seeing other people stick it to you. Bystanders often hate victims so much that they would defend a total stranger before protecting someone they hate so intensely.

4. They don’t want to get involved.

Many bystanders figure that it’s none of their business and choose not to get involved. Again, many bystanders are afraid of becoming victims themselves if they intervene.

Therefore, they figure it’s much safer to just stay out of it and pretend like they didn’t see anything. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.

5. Deliberate indifference: The bystanders are in a rush.

In other words, they feel that they just don’t have the time. They’ve got things to do and helping you would only slow them down.

These bystanders are so indifferent that they won’t even stop and watch. They will only pass by and keep going because they’re in a hurry to get somewhere.

6. some bystanders are notorious gossips and are just there to have a story to tell later.

People who are gossips are notorious cowards. Therefore, they’ll definitely not help you. Instead, they’ll stand back and watch your bullies pummel you. And they’ll watch with glee!

In fact, they’re the nosiest people on the planet! As soon as these people hear the first sign of commotion, they’ll break their necks, rushing to the scene to see what’s happening.

Realize that these are the kinds of people who constantly wait, with bated breath, for any drama to pop off so that they can have juicy gossip to share later.

Moreover, they won’t leave until the confrontation is over because they want to get everything. Then, once the brouhaha is finished. They’ll run and give their friends and others who weren’t there to see it the latest scoop.

And know this about gossips. They do this because it’s the only way they can feel validated and important. As long as they have the latest gossip to spread, they feel good about themselves.

7. They’re sadistic.

Some people just enjoy watching others suffer and seeing the pain on their faces. Moreover, they love seeing emotional reactions, such as crying.

Therefore, this brings us back to reason number two. They get free entertainment from watching bullies bully you.

Whatever the reason they don’t help. Know that they don’t care about you. Period. It’s all about them and what they can get out of it or not get out of it.

However, understand that, no matter what their reasons are, bystanders who do nothing to stop the attacks only silently support and encourage the bullies. Not many people think about this.

Any abuse you don’t report, you support. And what you tolerate, you encourage. In other words, these bystanders are just as guilty as the bullies who perpetuate the attacks against you.

However, some bystanders either don’t understand or underestimate the power they have, especially in large numbers.

When witnesses speak up for you, the bullies will likely stop and leave you alone. And the sad reality is that, when it comes to bullying, there are too many bystanders and not enough upstanders.

This post was all about deliberate Indifference to give you all the answers as to why bystanders refuse to help victims when bullies attack.

1. The Horns Effect: Bully-Induced Bias Against Victims of Bullying

2. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

3. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

4. Who are Usually the Victims of Bullying? 11 Traits of Bully Targets

5. Social Bullying Examples: 7 Reasons Bullies Destroy Relationships

School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids!

November 21, 2024November 24, 202410 Comments

‘Want to know about school choice and why it’s a godsend if people bully you or your child at school? Here are the reasons school choice is essential for bullied children and teens.

School Choice is an absolute must for bullied children and teens. Without it, targets would be stuck in a school that hates them.

Moreover, they’d be trapped in a cycle of bullying and abuse with no way to escape. Also, the bullies would be even further emboldened because they would know that their targets couldn’t get away.

It’s a dark side of human nature that, if bullies know you’re trapped, they have a strong sense of glee and become more brazen. Then there’s no limit to how far they’ll take the abuse.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about school choice. In that, you’ll find out that, if you’re one of those unfortunate children and teens who suffer severe bullying at school, there is a way out. In other words, you have an escape available.

Once you learn all of this important information, you will be excited. Also, you’ll want to tell your parents and they’ll be more compelled to take the next step to transfer you to a safer and healthier school, where you can flourish!

So, what is school choice?

It is a program that allows families to use public money to access schools beyond their local school district. This includes private schools and, in some areas, home school options.

In other words, school choice is about giving families the ability to choose which schools to send their children to whether or not they can afford it.

This is a beacon of hope for bullied children! Why?

It’s because school choice would give kids the right to choose the school they want to attend regardless of their zip code. However, as of now, zoning legalities trap bullied kids in toxic learning environments.

They keep bullied victims stuck in schools, where their cries for help go ignored by school officials. Moreover, they must endure under the thump of adults who only refuse to acknowledge that they have a culture of bullying at their beloved schools.

These school staff members sweep incidences under the rug and hide evidence of bullying (like camera footage) from parents. Also, they take sides with the bullies, blaming targeted kids for abuse they suffer at the hands of their classmates.

School choice would allow a bullied child easier transfer.

School Choice Vouchers.

The state gives these parents vouchers, which are redeemable in the same amount the state funds the schools per child. Therefore, the parents can take their bullied child out of the dangerous school and, with the voucher, send them to a safe school.

The awesome part is that their child will finally be able to escape the bullies of the old school and start fresh at a new, safe school with a clean slate. Moreover, they will be able to put their best foot forward and make friends at the new school.

Most importantly, they will likely learn better and flourish there. As a result, grades and class performance will skyrocket!

However, teacher’s Unions are dead set against it. But why?

Here are a few reasons:

1. Teachers and schools get funding for each child in attendance per day.

This means that schools will have to compete for these children. No school district likes it when bullied children leave because, with each child who transfers out, they lose funding.

Therefore, sadly, schools tend to care more about the funding than they do the children in this day and time. And they care even less about the children if they’re victims of bullying.

2. Teachers Unions Oppose School Choice. Why? Because they want to monopolize students and don’t want the competition.

Teacher’s unions have the same attitude. Again, school Choice would give schools and teachers competition for students, and therefore, state funds. Money does corrupt.

3. The handful of bad apples in the educational field (i.e. bullying teachers and school officials may not admit it, but they don’t want to lose their power and control over bullied children.

And if these children start switching schools, bullying school officials will no longer have power over these kids. Therefore, they will need to search for other targets even if they must eat their own. It’s just how bullies are. It’s all about power.

Every child deserves the right to attend a school in which they feel safe. Moreover, they deserve to learn in a school that values them as human beings.

They also deserve to attend a school where they can finally have dignity and respect. And they deserve to learn in an environment where they can grow and flourish without any disruptions.

There are entirely too many special interest groups who wish to squash school choice. In other words, they would rather monopolize our children and grandchildren.

Again, this is all about having power over bullied kids and lining their pockets. It only goes to show that, in the minds of school officials, money and power take priority over the safety and security of children and teens.

This must stop…yesterday!

4. School Choice: Schools tend to take it personally when bullied kids transfer out.

I’ve heard and read stories from parents who’ve transferred their children. The people in the community begin mistreating them for either sending their children to schools outside the community or homeschooling them.

In other words, because these families went against “the system,” the locals either harassed or ostracized them. In worse cases, truancy officers have paid these families visits, even though their child was in a school in another town.

Therefore, it isn’t uncommon for school districts to retaliate against parents who take advantage of the School Choice Program. And if the child in question was bullied in the former school and had their reputations ruined because if it, all the worse.

Therefore, this should tell you that this is all about trying to keep power over the child and the family.

Nevertheless, if your child endures bullying at school, do take advantage of the program.

In other words, fight for the safety of your child even if the school district throws everything and the kitchen sick at you. Expect to get push back from them.

But know that your child is worth it. And I promise you that they will thank you for it later. And why not? By transferring them out of a toxic school, you saved them years of suffering at school.

On the other hand, if victims of bullying aren’t allowed to leave a toxic school, they only suffer day by day.

Without school choice, the psychological impact on victims will be devastating.

Victims of bullying will continue to go to school in fear rather than with the excitement of learning. Their grades will plummet because they’ll be too busy looking over their shoulders rather than concentrating on schoolwork.

Each year, bullied victims die either by their own hand, or at the hands of their bullies because they’re stuck in a school that ignores their cries for help. Also, those that maintain their will to live go through school in fear and struggle with large amounts of mental and physical stress.

Moreover, the constant living in survival mode will exhaust them, which is another reason their academic performance will suffer. Who can learn when they’ll constantly having to fight their way through school?

Most families simply cannot afford to move to a new town. Moreover, they don’t have the funds to transfer their bullied children out of toxic schools and into safe schools where they can learn in peace.

However, school choice would make the transfer of bullied children to safer schools possible. With school choice, bullied children and teens everywhere would have the opportunity to escape their bullies and move on to better learning environments where they can thrive, grow, and flourish!

What School Officials must focus on

Therefore, school boards and teachers’ unions need to stop thinking only about themselves and begin thinking about the welfare of the kids. Moreover, they need to focus on protecting bullied children regardless of what it may do to their pocketbooks.

Just as we would take an abused child out of an abusive home, we should also provide the option of school choice to take bullied kids out of schools with a culture of bullying. It won’t just save them years of pain and the probability of having to look back on a traumatic school experience, it could also save their lives!

This post is all about school choice and why it’s essential for bullied children and teens. Moreover, It’s about the awesome benefits it offers all children whose families take advantage of it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy;

1. Bullying is Abuse: 9 Ways Bullying and Abuse are The Same

2. Bullying Culture: When Bullying is the Status Quo

3. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

4. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

5. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

The Cycle of Bullying: Psychological Injuries and Care of Victims

November 18, 2024November 17, 20243 Comments

With many victims, the bullying they suffer is a vicious and continuous cycle. Now you might ask, “What do you mean? How can bullying become a cycle?” Here’s how.

Bullies often stick victims in a cycle in which they can’t escape. And when bullies know that the victim is trapped, that’s when they know they have them where they want them. Therefore, you must know how bullying is a cycle that only repeats itself.

In this post, you will learn all about the cycle of bullying. Moreover, you will learn how victims get stuck and how bullies take advantage of it.

After you learn how that cycle repeats itself, you will be prompted to take steps to either take care of yourself or escape the environment altogether.

This post is all about the cycle of bullying so that you can recognize when you’re stuck in it and find ways to remedy your situation.

The cycle of Bullying

Let’s describe it like this.

A victim is selected and is bullied relentlessly. Every morning, she arrives at school others only greet her with a barrage of name-calling, taunts, cruel jokes, and ridicule. Moreover, they force her to endure physical assaults and beatings.

Nevertheless, she holds up for a year or two, trying to be strong and brave. She manages to remain calm and cool, and seems to do quite well at it.

However, the bullies are relentless because they want so badly for her to react the way they want her too. So, they escalate the attacks and the abuse becomes more frequent and intense.

It is as if they are trying to bring her down. And the truth is, they are.

The Breaking Point

Finally, so many of her peers have bullied her so much for so long that they finally succeed in driving her to the breaking point.

The target either attempts suicide or has a breakdown of some sort. Maybe she breaks down crying and her sobs are so deep and so uncontrollable that she can’t stop crying. It’s as if a dam has burst and the raging torrent of tears continues to pour forth.

In fact, she’s crying so hard her entire body shakes, quakes, and writhes.

The Cycle of Bullying:

Psychological Treatment and progress of the victim

The victim is admitted to a treatment center for severe depression. She stays there for a couple of months.

Moreover, while she’s there, she makes progress. She opens up about the bullying she suffers, and people listen. In the treatment center, she is safe.

The victim makes friends out of the other kids there and of the staff as well. They all support her, and she begins to feel good about herself again. Therefore, it seems like she’s beginning to heal and get better.

A couple of months go by and for the first time since she left the bullying environment and arrived at the treatment center, the bullying victim feels like herself again.

She feels re-empowered.

The Victim’s Release and return to the same place that made her sick

The center finally discharges the victim. However, she must return to school, back to the same people who made her sick to begin with.

As soon as she goes back to school, she’s nervous because she knows what’s waiting for her. Moreover, although the others at school can’t prove where she’s been, they can figure it out.

Now there’s the mental health stigma hanging over her. Therefore, the bullies instantly use it against her and only pick up where they left off.

They begin mobbing her again. Additionally, even a few teachers and the principal look down on her, just like before.

The Cycle of Bullying:

The Bullies, Student Body, and Teachers only pick up where they left off.

The principal warns her aloud, in the crowded hall, as she’s changing classes. He says to the victim, “I’m going to be watching you closely.”

Even worse, he tells her this in front of the other students where they can overhear.

The victim continues to behave well. However, the principal, a few teachers, and the student body, view her with suspicion. Instead of acknowledging and encouraging her success, the principal and teachers only continue to let her know that she’s on their radar.

The two months away in the treatment center was intended to help her get well and put her life back together. Moreover, returning to school was supposed to be a chance to start over.

The School Only Uses Mental Health Stigma to Undo Any Progress the victim has made.

But the school has only branded the victim a mental case. As a result, some of the teachers and the principal, knowingly or unknowingly, begin the process of undoing all the progress this girl has made.

What they should do is pull her aside and tell her in private that they are watching her, but that they admire her for getting help and trying to turn her life around.

However, their justification for their emotional abuse is that it’s to protect the other students who fit in to what’s “normal” and who obey the rules.

In other words, they use this justification to defend the emotional abuse they inflict on the victim and continue to single her out for humiliation.

Therefore, the school is willingly participating in destroying another human being.

The Cycle of Bullying:

The school only justifies their abuse and continues to discriminate based on mental health.

The girl’s “loony bin trip” now follows her around like a stalking wildcat. School officials either don’t realize or don’t care about the impact their attitudes and prejudices have on young students.

Therefore, bullies begin the evil process again. They begin trying to break this girl down for a second time.

So, the victim continues to hide her emotions. Therefore, she continues to pretend that everything is okay and that the bullying she suffers isn’t such a big deal.

She does her level best to stay strong and hide the tears which beg to poor forth like a raging torrent. Why? Because she knows that if she ever shows the hurt, the bullies will only bask in it.

They’ll have her where they want her, and the bullies will then move in for the death blow.

Fighting a Losing Battle

Therefore, she holds up for as long as she can. But the reality is that no one can hold up under that kind of pressure for long.

But she continues to stuff her emotions deep down inside, even though it’s tearing her up inside. As time goes on, the bullies escalate their attacks because they see her stoicism as a challenge.

Therefore, the cruel attacks become a game to the bullies. The goal is to break this girl and they want to see what it’s going to take to achieve that goal.

Then, once again, it happens! The victim has another breakdown. After all, no one can bury all that pain forever.

The Cycle of Bullying:

Return to the treatment center

The doctors admit her to the treatment center for the second time. A few months pass and she gets the help she needs.

Again, she is in a safe environment. Therefore, she speaks again about the bullying she has suffered. Caring staff and fellow patients give her support and she begins to heal and get better.

After some time at the center, they finally send her home and her parents take her back to school. The very school where his bullies run amuck. And once she’s back, the bullies have a go at her once again.

Why? Because the poor target is trapped in a school she isn’t safe in. And chances are, she will break down and only return to the treatment center a third time.

Therefore, here’s the cycle.

The victim endures bullying and she has a breakdown. She then goes somewhere and gets help, then heals and gets released. She returns to the same toxic environment and the bullies start the process of breaking her until they succeed and she returns to the center.

Therefore, the cycle replays itself again and again.

The Cycle of Bullying:

To Resolve this problem, the victim will need to transfer schools.

In cases like this, targets must be either transfer to a new school or home school, otherwise, the cycle only continues.

Thankfully, when my eldest son began to be bullied in middle school, his father, stepmother, and I got together and made a plan to transfer him before the bullying had a chance to escalate to a dangerous level. Moreover, it worked!

His grades skyrocketed at his new school and when he graduated, he did so with scholarships! We were so proud!

Therefore, a school transfer is always best when a target suffers bullying and it morphs into a pattern. Why, because once people grow comfortable with bullying a certain victim, it will only intensify.

Moreover, if the target goes to a hospital and gets help, then released back into the same environment that made them sick, they will end up returning to the hospital…again, again, and again, until he leaves the toxic school.

It may take some sacrifice to transfer your child to a new school. Moreover, it may be more expensive. However, it’s a small price to pay compared to a stack of psychiatric bills, or worse, funeral and burial costs.

This post is all about the cycle of bullying so that you can understand the cyclical nature of bullying and peer abuse.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

2. The Horns Effect: Bully-Induced Bias Against Victims of Bullying

3. Bullying Culture: When Bullying is the Status Quo

4. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

5. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

Bullying by Teachers in School: 7 Steps to Protect Yourself

November 14, 2024November 6, 20242 Comments

Have you ever suffered bullying by teachers in school? ‘Want to know the statistics of students who are targeted by school staff and what you can do if you fall into this category?

It’s bad enough when your fellow students target you. However, when school staff, who are supposed to be adults, target one of their minor students, it’s much worse.

In this post, you will learn the surprising statistics of young students who endure bullying by teachers in school. Also, you will learn what you can do if it happens to you.

Once you learn these stats, you will be surprised to realize that this issue is more common than you know. Moreover, it will prompt you and your parents or grandparents to take the appropriate steps to gather evidence and conduct your own investigation.

This post is all about the number of kids who suffer bullying by teachers in school every year and what they or their families can do for protection.

Bullying by Teachers in School

According to the Better Help website, “In one survey, 45% of teachers admitted to bullying their students.” This is alarming!

Here is something you or your family can do to combat this insidious type of bullying.

1. Document everything in Detail.

If you’re one of the unfortunate 45 percent, you must document everything. And when you write everything down. Remember to use the 5W Rule.

This is especially important when you have a teacher who is bullying you. Why? Because the teacher is the person in authority. Therefore, any reports that they’re bullying will likely go ignored.

Realize that people will take the word of an authority member over yours.

Therefore, you absolutely must document the bullying in great detail. This means using the 5 W’s.

When you use the 5W Rule, you write down What happened, Where it happened, When it happened (the exact date and time of incident), Who was involved and the names of any bystanders, and, if possible, Why it happened.

Therefore, the trick here is to document in the tiniest details possible. Why? Because not only does it help you to keep your story straight, but it’s also admissible in court and in tribunals.

2. Bullying by Teachers in School:

Stay in communication with the school or other entity and save all email exchanges.

You must save all emails you send to the entity and those they send you. Always keep records of these things because it will show you whether they do anything about it.

Moreover, if they send you any bullying or abusive emails, you will have more evidence of their bias against you to present in court.

3. If you live in a one-party consent state, secretly record bullying incidences.

If a teacher is bullying you, I can’t stress the importance of getting it on recording. Now, this is assuming you live in a one-party consent state. This means that you need permission of only one of the parties being recorded. That’s you, of course.

Therefore, you can record the bullying without the possibility of legal consequences.

You can either use a digital audio recorder or a hidden body camera. Personally, I prefer the hidden body camera. However, if you can’t get access to one, a digital audio recorder will do and you can find them at your local Walmart or on Amazon.

Body cams, on the other hand, are only available online. Amazon sells many of them you can choose from.

4. Bullying by Teachers in School:

Take pictures of any bruises, cuts, or scrapes left on the body by school bullies.

Most teachers are too smart to physically bully you. Although they may want to and wish they could, most of them won’t for fear of legal repercussions.

Although a small percentage do use physical violence against students, the teacher is likely to let your bullying classmates do that for them. Therefore, you must take photos of any visible bodily injuries if you’re physically attacked in the bullying teacher’s classroom.

Why? Because the teacher can be charged with neglect or dereliction of duty if they allow another student to harm you. Moreover, you also have cause to sue the school if the injuries are severe enough.

5. Keep records of any medical treatment resulting from bullying at school.

In other words, if a bully in the teachers’ classroom hurts you badly enough to send you to the hospital, make copies of the records and keep them in a safe place.

Having these materials will make your case more solid and you can press not only criminal charges against the bullies’ but also file a civil suit for damages.

6. Bullying by Teachers in School:

Take pictures of any harsh remarks by the bullying teacher on your report card or assignment papers.

This is also important! If the remarks are too harsh, it will indicate abuse and possible prejudicial treatment.

Moreover, if you make good grades in other classes but seem to fail in the bully teacher’s class, take pictures of the grades on your report card. This will prove the teacher’s bias against you.

7. Get another teacher that you trust to go over any graded papers just in case the bully teacher gives you an unfair grade.

VERY important! If you know for a fact that you did well on a test in this teacher’s class and still get a bad grade, the bullying teacher might have marked a few right answers wrong.

Therefore, get another teacher you trust to go over your paper with you. Because, if a teacher highly dislikes you, they might try to give you a lower grade than you deserve to mess up your future.

Then take a picture of the test paper, circling the right answers that the teacher marked wrong. This will strengthen your case and exonerate you, therefore, securing your future prospects and life-chances.

Bullying By Teachers in School

I can’t stress this enough! You must gather your own evidence in cases like these. I won’t lie to you. Doing this will be tedious. In fact, you’ll need to put in a lot of hard work.

However, when you’re being bullied by any authority member, it’s not the time to be lazy. Remember that you are the only one who can stand up to this type of abuse and you have a responsibility to do so.

Not only to yourself, but to any future students this teacher may bully later.

In other words, you should never sit back and wait for the school to protect you. Because they won’t. Schools have their own self-interests in mind and they will only hide any bullying that happens in their educational institutions.

Again, protecting yourself and standing up to any bullying you suffer is your responsibility! No one else’s!

But Why Do Schools Ignore Bullying?

Again, they do it to save their own reputations. Moreover, most bullies are high academic achievers, athletes, or members of the cheer squad.

All this makes the school look good. Therefore, your school will more than likely only protect these students and find ways to lay the blame on you.

Sadly, in most cases of bullying, it’s not about right and wrong, it’s about who’s doing it and the amount of power they have. Therefore, again, it’s your responsibility to do your own investigations and stand up for yourself. You must be your own voice!

Bullying by Teachers:

Here’s some food for thought.

We know that bullying often goes unpunished and it’s the victims who people scrutinize and punish while the bullies go Scot free. Moreover, schools and companies sweep incidences of bullying under the rug to save their own reputations. That much, we also know.

Also, governments, local, state, and federal, refuse to pass more robust laws against bullying and mobbing. Why? Because there’s no way you can legislate human nature, even the dark side of it.

More importantly, bullies are experts at making the poor victims look like the instigators. Therefore, I’m not sure if we even should pass laws against bullying. And these are things I advocated for it at first.

However, the more I thought about it, the more I shied away from any laws. Again, bullies are good at reversing the roles and making their victims look like the provocateurs.

Therefore, it is because people blame victims and either let bullies off the hook or give them a slap on the wrist that I’ve stopped agreeing that criminal laws against bullying should be passed.

Think about it. If we criminalized bullying, a lot of innocent victims would end up going to jail or paying fines because the real bullies would find ways to manipulate their way out of it and place blame on their victims.

Again, there’s no way to legislate human nature. It’s impossible. Therefore, victims must be allowed to stand up for themselves and take responsibility for their own well-being.

I believe it’s the only way victims can successfully fight bullying and take back their personal power.

However, this only addresses part of the problem.

Bullying by Teachers in SChool:

Let’s Think outside the box for a moment. ask yourself these questions.

Why do schools ignore bullying and place blame on targets? What other reasons could there be besides to protect their reputations and their star students?

Wait for it!

Could it be to maybe benefit the mental health industry? It may or it may not. However, it’s certainly something to think about.

Due to the mental health crisis in this country, school districts and the mental health industry work very closely together. And why not? We do seem to have an epidemic of depressed and mentally ill youth.

Therefore, understand that mental health is BIG business and, like any other big business, such as big tech, or big pharma, it’s a money machine. A cash cow!

In fact, it’s only a branch of the healthcare industry and big pharma. Remember that public schools are government schools and school officials are elected officials. In other words, they’re politicians.

Are you beginning to see how all this ties together?

Bullying Continues to supply the mental health industry with fresh, new patients every year.

In other words, millions of new patients are made because of bullying. These are people who, otherwise, wouldn’t need psychological help.

As we know, the majority of mental illness, mood disorders, and anxiety disorders are caused by some form of abuse. And bullying is abuse. In fact, peer abuse is just another term for bullying.

Moreover, people who are bullied have a much higher risk of developing a mental illness and going in for psychological and psychiatric treatment.

Even worse, many end up requiring medication to regain stability.

So, should it be any wonder that corporations, schools and many other public entities refuse to properly address bullying and hold bullies accountable? Should it surprise you that they’re so quick to blame innocent victims?

Are you beginning to see the bigger picture here?

This is just a thought that I wanted to throw out there. And this should also give you something to ponder as well.

The 45% of people who are bullied by teachers probably don’t know to do their own investigations and likely haven’t been told how. This is a sad thing because, without proper guidance, they’ll only continue to be victimized.

this post was all about the percentage of people who are bullied by teachers in school and what they can do to not only protect themselves, but stand against this type of abuse.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

2. The Horns Effect: Bully-Induced Bias Against Victims of Bullying

3. Bullying Culture: When Bullying is the Status Quo

4. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

5. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

Who are Usually the Victims of Bullying? 11 Traits of Bully Targets

November 12, 2024November 24, 20244 Comments

If you have a soft spot for those who are bullied, you often ask yourself, “Who are usually the victims of bullying?” So, ‘want to know who they are. Here are the 11 characteristics of typical victims bullies like to target that you must become familiar with.

Many victims of bullying get blamed for altercations their bullies provoke because the perpetrators are experts at playing the victim and avoiding accountability. Therefore, it can be difficult for authority members to know which person is the bully and which is the target.

Who are usually the victims of bullying? This can be a tough one for superiors to figure out.

As someone who has dealt with these kinds of situations, I’m giving you all the characteristics of a typical target of bullying so that you will better be able to see through the bully’s facade and calmly call it out.

In this post, you will learn the thirteen traits of the marked person of bullying so that you will be more aware of how bullying effects you.

Once you learn about these victim features, you will be better able to report your bullies much more calmly and lessen your chances of taking the blame for their bad behavior.

This post is all about the traits of the typical victim of bullying so that you can have this information to show your superiors if ever you encounter bullies.

who are usually the victims of bullying?

When bystanders or authority witness bullying, it can be difficult for them to know which person is the bully and which is the target.

But why is this? Because most seasoned bullies are cunning, clever, and covert. In other words, not all bullies resort in physical violence.

Bruises, cuts, and broken bones are easy to see. Therefore, many bullies use psychological tactics and emotional manipulation to bully you.

Moreover, they may use psycho/emotional methods to set you up to either be physically attacked or to get into trouble with authority.

Remember that bullies have ways of slyly provoking you and setting you up to look like the aggressor.

bullies use gaslighting as a powerful tool.

Additionally, bullies have ways of gaslighting you and making you doubt your own sanity. They have a knack for manipulating your emotions and making you feel guilty for things you aren’t guilty of.

Moreover, these people also have ways of brainwashing you over time and turning you against yourself. They know how to make you feel as if you did something to justify their mistreatment and abuse.

As a result, you won’t know how to save yourself from those who unjustly accuse and label you. This is because you’ll have difficulty identifying and naming the tactics bullies use against you.

Therefore, you won’t know how to explain what is happening to you or report the bullying without sounding like you’re rambling.

The end result will be that your bullies and the circumstances they force on you will convince you and those in power that you are the culprit.

Moreover, if you happen to be the person who witnesses someone else being bullied, you’re likely to point a finger at the wrong person.

Therefore, here are the 11 traits victims of bullying share.

1. who are usually the victims of bullying? They’re the people with the least power.

Having the least amount of power automatically makes you an easy target. Why? Because the less power you have, the least likely you defend yourself. Bullies instinctively know this.

Moreover, powerlessness is sometime you can’t hide no matter how hard you try. Why? Because it will seep through in your body language and in the way you carry yourself.

And bullies are masters at reading people and can sniff out your weaknesses and low vibration. They’ll see you coming a mile away.

Understand that when bullies are like sharks that smell blood in the water. When they sense prey, they take full advantage.

2. those with the least social capital.

In other words, they’re very unpopular and have the least amount of friends, allies, and supporters. Why, because bullies tend to defame their victims to block their chances of getting support.

Moreover, having few people or no one behind you makes you easy prey for even more bullies to come for you. Understand that a pack of wolves always goes after that one elk that gets separated from the herd.

3. Victims of bullying tend to have the least influence.

It takes a confident person and yes, even an arrogant person to have influence. People with influence not only have better control over what happens to them but also may have control over what happens to others.

Most victims have no influence because they can’t seem to control what happens to them. If they did, they wouldn’t constantly have bullies on their tail.

4. Who are usually the victims of bullying? They’re the people that others like or love the least.

This goes back to victims of bullying having the least social capital. If you have few people or no one who loves or likes you, then you stand the least chance of getting help and support.

Therefore, this leaves you at the mercy of bullies.

Again, predators always go after the lone animal.

5. People others hate the most.

Those who hate you want you to suffer. Hate is an obsession. Moreover, bullies do have an obsession over their victims. However, being hated can cause big problems for you.

Why, because if most people already hate you, they’re most likely to join the bullies in tormenting you.

6. Victims are usually the person people can openly bully and abuse and get away with it.

Because most victims of bullying have the least power, social capital, and influence, bystanders will most likely refuse to help them when bullies come calling. Moreover, because they’re the most hated and least liked, bystanders are likely to team up with the bullies and join in the attacks.

Add all this up and school staff, company management, or even police probably won’t help the victim either.

If you fall into this category, I cannot stress enough the importance of being your own advocate. You may be afraid to open your mouth and yes, things may get worse for you if you do. However, if you don use your voice, things will get worse anyway.

7. Who are usually the victims of bullying? They’re usually those from abusive homes or who live in poverty.

Remember that abuse and bullying are one and the same. Bullying is abuse. Therefore, victims from abusive homes become objects of bullying because they’re already wounded.

Because they’re wounded, they automatically put out that bullied vibe through their energy and body language. Unfortunately, bullies are experts at reading people and can pick up on this very quickly.

As mentioned in earlier posts, bullies are like ravenous sharks that smell blood in the water or a pack of wolves that pick out the sickest member in a herd of deer.

Therefore, they select the already-abused victim to prey on.

Bullies will also select victims who live in poverty because of the clothes they wear or their hygiene. It’s not hard to ferret out indigence because it often shows through appearance and level of cleanliness.

Moreover, these victims will often feel insecure and have low self-esteem, giving out vibes and energy that match.

Money is power and lack of it spells powerlessness. Bullying is about power. Therefore, bullies will instantly sense these things and select these victim to harass and ridicule.

Lastly, people from abusive homes and the indigent are most likely to have low self-esteem. And those with low self-esteem are dead ringers for bullying because they’re least likely to fight back.

8. victims of bullying are usually those who are kindhearted.

Bullies automatically see kindness as weakness. Therefore, empaths and others who are sweet and kind become fair game.

Moreover, people who bully may be envious of the kindly victim’s qualities because they, themselves, lack them. So, bullies often bully the kindhearted out of jealousy.

And because the kindhearted tend to be well-loved by others, bullies also target them out of social envy.

9. Bullies also like to bully people with physical, mental, or intellectual disabilities.

Bullies are notorious for bullying anyone who is different and out of the ordinary. People with disabilities fit that bill in the eyes of many, sadly.

Moreover, cruel people often see disability as a weakness and this attracts bullies like a T-Rex to raw meat!

Here’s something else to be aware of. Because disabled people are likely to draw a monthly disability check, bullies will accuse them of fakery, laziness, and leaching on the taxpayer.

I can’t tell you the countless horror stories I’ve heard from SSDI recipients about the bullying and harassment they suffered and the same accusations their bullies hurled at them. And it’s heartbreaking!

10. Who are usually the victims of bullying? People with low self-esteem and introverts who are quiet.

Bullies can sniff out low self-esteem very quickly and from far off. In fact, they seem to have radars for it!

Low self-esteem is difficult to hide because it very subtly seeps out through your body language and your entire demeanor. Moreover, people with low self-esteem carry themselves complete different from those with healthy self-esteem.

They slouch when they sit or stand. Whereas, people with healthy self-esteem will hold their shoulders back and stand up straight.

Also those with low self-esteem tend to have downcast eyes and hold their heads down. On the other hand, confident people look up and ahead while holding their heads high and lengthening the neck.

Naturally, bullies take notice and, therefore, take full advantage!

On the other hand, bullies often select introverts who often have quiet confidence because they mistake their reserved nature for low self-esteem. This is why they often bullies get the shock of their lives when the quiet target defends themselves and ends up kicking a bully’s butt up between their shoulders.

Therefore, still waters run deep and bullies need to watch out when messing with the quiet ones. Because quiet people are unpredictable!

11. People who are exceptionally gifted and smart.

Bullies are jealous of anyone who is intelligent and gifted because they often receive recognition and accolades for those talents.

This threatens bullies’ power and status. Moreover, it delivers a huge blow to their overinflated egos. Why, because bullies have an obsessive need to be A-1 best at everything, all the time. Moreover, they crave attention and admiration and they don’t like to share it.

When some bright individual comes along and others see their talents and gifts, it automatically takes some of the favor and spotlight away from the bullies.

Therefore, is it any wonder bullies target these super-smart people to bully? Realize that having enemies doesn’t always mean that there’s something wrong with you. In most cases, it means there’s something right about you.

If you’re a target, you must find a way to report your bullies and better explain your situation. Documentation, using the 5W rule is the safest way of not only gathering your evidence, but also reporting the bullying.

This post answers the question, “Who are usually the victims of bullying?” Moreover, it covers all the characteristics of all types of victims to debunk any myths and give you clues as to why bullies bully you and ways you can Report it and use it to your advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. How to Stop Being Too Nice: 5 Powerful Changes that Win Respect

4. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

5. How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims? Here are Your Answers.

Bullying Culture: When Bullying is the Status Quo

October 28, 2024November 24, 20244 Comments

‘Want to know whether your school or workplace has a bullying culture? Here are all the things you should watch for.

Schools, workplaces, and even communities with a bullying culture can make for environments that are toxic and foster a sense of danger. In these kinds of environments, people tend to operate under the “laws of the jungle.”

The mentality is that “might makes right” and that you can only attain power through the use of brute force. Moreover, these toxic environments can negatively impact not only your mental health but your physical health as well.

In this post, you will learn how to read the environment and recognize whether you’re in a toxic environment with a culture of bullying.

Once you learn all the bad signs, you will be able to decide what measures you must take to keep yourself safe and if you even want to remain in this type of environment.

This post is all about bullying culture and how to recognize it so that you can take steps to better protect yourself.

Bullying Culture

Schools, workplaces, and communities that have this type of culture are places where people accept bullying. In other words, they consider it a normal part of life.

Moreover, the torment of a particular person can become status quo or habit with classmates because it has already gone unchecked. If you’re this “particular person,” know that you are in danger and should take steps to leave the environment.

You must go someplace new, where you can start fresh and be safe. I’ll explain further as we go.

In toxic places, the bullying of a certain individual is like a cancer that grows and spreads. In other words, like cancer, it always starts out small.

How It Progresses

The Early Stages:

For example, a bully scans the environment, seeking whom he can torment. When they spots a potential victim, they test the waters by way of small, snarky comments, backhanded or compliments.

They will take tiny nibbles at you, which are so subtle, they’ll be unnoticeable to others. However, they’ll make you feel uncomfortable.

Therefore, realize that bullies do this to see how you react. If you do nothing, the bullies will only see this as a green light to continue bullying you. This is when they will select you as their target.

Bullies then put the word out that you’re an easy target. Word soon spreads throughout the entire school, company, or community that you’re ripe for bullying. Therefore, a few others will join in.

Bullying Culture:

However, heed this warning!

If others continue bullying you over a certain amount of time, without repercussions, the abuse will become the status quo.

Even in as little time as short as a few weeks, it will likely become customary for these people to bully you. And once it becomes the status quo, it’s almost impossible to defend yourself without encountering a ton of resistance and reprisals.

Therefore, the trick is to stand up for yourself immediately. You must do it before people grow accustomed to tormenting you because once they do, it’s likely too late.

For example, people have bullied you for years. You finally get fed up, put your foot down, and stand up to your bullies. The abuse has gotten out of control and now, you refuse to bow down any longer.

One of your bullies takes it as a challenge and physically attacks you, only for you to beat the living hell out of them.

However, instead of accepting that you beat the crap out of them and going away, the bullies are outraged! They can’t accept that they got punked by someone they thought was inferior to them.

Therefore, they plot to re-enforce their power by retaliating. Not only do they want to re-enforce their dominance, they also have an insatiable desire to punish you severely.

How dare you! How dare you challenge their authority over you! This is the prevailing thought.

Bullying Culture

Middle Stages:

As time goes by, the torment you endure becomes more of a regular, everyday occurrence. Therefore, more and more people will assume that it’s okay to bully you.

You’ll notice that the taunts and verbal bullying grow more severe until they morph into physical attacks. Once this happens, others will become more and more brutal with their violence.

For example, they make begin with tripping you or running into you “accidentally on purpose.” The next thing you know, they are shoving you against the wall or to the floor.

After this goes on for a week or two, people begin punching and kicking you. Then, once they get bored with doing this, they graduate to brutally beating and choking you.

Thus, the attacks become harder to combat.

At the same time, the bullies and everyone else employ smear campaigns and set you up to get into trouble with authority.

Sadly, this set the stage for TDS, target derangement syndrome or you could call it VDS (victim derangement syndrome. Why, because, by this stage, everyone fosters a sick hatred for you.

Therefore, you have difficulty getting help and protecting yourself.

Again, heed this warning! Any time bullying is allowed to continue, it becomes a habit- a ritual. In other words, people get used to seeing it.

Therefore, when you muster up the spunk to say or do anything to assert, defend, or stand up for yourself, you are going against a status quo.

And once you dare to go against any status quo, you had better prepare yourself for an all-out war!

This is why the best time to defend yourself is during the early stages!

Bullying Culture

Late Stages:

The bullying has now become a ritual. In other words, people habitually bully you and have internal motivations to do so.

Moreover, they feel that bullying you brings a positive effect (on them). Put another way, they may think that abusing you is for the good of the school, workplace or community.

Therefore, the violence has become the status quo in the environment. Others refuse to help you because bullies have discredited you.

Moreover, the long-term abuse you have suffer has desensitize everyone else. Some openly enjoy seeing people persecute you. Also, because of the smear campaigns, they hold the widely-spread belief that you’re trouble. Yet, they don’t know how or why?

The prevailing thought is, “Well, no one likes you anyway, so there has to be some justification to it.”.

Therefore, they have set the power dynamic firmly put in place and they do desperate things to maintain the status quo.

Bullying Culture

Late-Late Stages:

In this stage, it’s almost impossible to defend yourself. Why? Because you’ve waited too long. Therefore, your bullies are comfortable with abusing you and bystanders have grown comfortable with seeing it.

You are a victim! And people refuse to see you as anything but.

When you become a victim, others either consciously or subconsciously expect you to stay one. They expect you to put your head down and take the abuse.

In other words, if you even attempt to grow a spine, they will do everything in their power to break it.

This is because any semblance of change frightens bullies, as it does most people. What frightens bullies the most is a change in the power dynamic which has long been set.

They want you to stay a victim because, “it’s just the way things are done here.”. Also, bullies benefit from victimizing you. Therefore, and they don’t want to lose those benefits.

The advantages can be social status, gratification, satisfaction, or entertainment.

Furthermore, people come to believe that they have a right to abuse you. Moreover, they believe that they have absolute authority over you. Therefore, they feel entitled to inflict misery on you.

In the mind of a bully, you don’t have the right to undermine, nor question their power and authority. Therefore, you should just shut your mouth and take it.

Sadly, it is in this stage that you either live in misery, get murdered, leave the environment, or takes your own life.

In Conclusion:

I hope that you choose to leave the environment and go someplace where you can start fresh, heal, and begin rebuilding your life.

Therefore, this bears repeating. You absolutely MUST address it early on, as soon as you begin to see a pattern forming. Do not make the same mistake many do and let it get so bad that you either fear for, or want to end your own life.

Here’s another thing to consider. If the bullying has gone on too long and you’ve tried standing up for your rights to no avail. It’s probably time to find a way to leave the environment. Granted, this may not be feasible. However, it might be the only way for you to finally be safe.

This is an absolute must!

This post was all about bullying culture, how you recognize it and what you must do to ensure your safety. Also, the purpose of this post is to instill in you the importance of taking action during the early stages.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Non Verbal Bullying: Hostile Body Language Head to Toe

2. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

3. The 4 Stages of Bullying

4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

5. Asserting Boundaries: The Pros Outweigh the Cons

Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

October 18, 2024October 18, 20246 Comments

Unfortunately, bullying by teachers is not uncommon. ‘Want to know the 15 signs your teacher is bullying you? These are the proven and time-tested signs that I’ve personally experienced.

It’s one thing when other students bully you. However, it’s another when the people harassing you are teachers. Being bullied by a teacher can be devastating because the bullying teacher holds a lot of power over you. So, how do you know if a teacher is bullying you and what can you do about it?

In this post, you will learn the surefire signs of bullying by teachers and the steps you can take to protect yourself.

Once you learn these tell-tale indicators, not only will you know what to do in your particular situation, but you’ll gather the courage to do what you must do to protect yourself and your future.

This post is all about bullying by teachers, the signs to look for, and what you can do to defend yourself and secure your future.

Bullying by teachers

Sadly, teachers who bully students are more common than we think. Although most schoolteachers are altruistic souls who love kids and want to help them, there are also plenty of bad apples in the teaching profession.

Many teachers and school staff often stick targets of mobbing and bullying with labels. They brand them with labels, such as, “trouble,” “difficult,” or “problem child.”

Consequently, this sets a dangerous precedent because it sets the targeted child up to be discriminated against by their school. Moreover, it encourages other classmates to bully the targeted kid worse.

Therefore, when adults become prejudiced against a child, it creates a very hostile and dangerous environment.

Why? Because victims aren’t afforded the same due process that their classmates enjoy. As a result, the school staff only empower the bullies. Even worse, they end up supporting the bullies, even encouraging them to bully that child.

And because the child’s brain is still developing, they may not know how to handle such abuse.

What happens when targets act out due to prolonged bullying and resulting stress?

Let’s face it, no one can withstand the intense pressure of bullying and mobbing for long. A person can only be pushed so far. If you kick a dog long enough, you’ll get bit eventually.

When a target is bullied and mobbed by their classmates, they are forced to submit to horrendous and downright grotesque abuse. Then, when teachers join in, it compounds an already horrific situation,.

However, this kind of bullying is unfathomable to most adults. The message targets receive from others is just to “shut up and take it.”

In fact, when you’re a target of school bullying and mobbing, your world becomes quite Kafkaesque. Moreover, even you have a hard time believing what you’re experiencing. So, is it any wonder that no one else can believe it either?

The questions, “What the hell?” and “Is this really happening?” come to mind. You feel as if you’ve stepped into the twilight zone.

This is because being mobbed is the feeling of being crushed by nonsensical, bizarre, and blind abuse.

Just imagine what this does to a child or teenager.

Bullying by teachers: the targeted child is powerless to understand or control what is happening.

The target suffers mistreatment, isolation, exclusion, and yes- even brutal physical beatings.

Therefore, the bullied child will be too afraid to plead for help because he knows that the school staff will ignore his cries. And what’s more frightening is that his bullies will take retribution on him for daring to open his mouth.

Eventually the target snaps and acts inappropriately due to long-lasting and extreme stress because the bullying and abuse she suffers has only fallen on deaf ears.

The bullies assaults against the target will continue to be overlooked. However, the target’s reactions to it won’t be ignored. Therefore, the target becomes re-victimized by the very adults, school, and system which are supposed to protect her.

Here’s an example:

A girl is bullied by everyone in her class. The teacher either doesn’t see it or thinks the girl deserves it.

Also, maybe, the teacher thinks that bullying is only a right of passage that builds character. During one occasion, the bully sitting behind the targeted girl pulls her hair.

As a result, the target gets fed up with the bullies’ attacks. Unable to tolerate any more abuse, she turns around and punches the bully who pulled her hair.

Now the teacher, very conveniently, doesn’t see the other girl pull the target’s hair. However, she does see the target turn around and punch the bully in the nose. Therefore, the teacher punishes the target without even considering what the other classmate did to prompt her to punch her.

Consequently, the message the teacher sends is crystal clear. The victim has no recourse, and the bully has carte blanche to continue bullying her in the future.

And so, it goes. The same scenario repeats itself a few times. And, the next thing you know, it is the victim the school staff paints with a bad brush. Afterwards, everyone becomes labels her a riffraff.

The principal then, from time to time, catches the victim in the hall between classes. He tells her, aloud, in front of the other students, that she’d better watch her step because he has his eye on her.

As fate would have it, the other kids, especially the bullies, overhear the principal and see it as the green light they’ve been looking for. Therefore, they become even more emboldened to continue their abuse because they know the school authorities will only blame her and give them a pass.

Bullying by teachers: The bullying gets worse because, after all, if the victim complains, who’s going to listen to them? They’re the “problem child.”

Therefore, the school staff continue to harangue the target, making her situation much worse than what it needs to be. And their justification for their treatment of the victim is to protect the other students who fit into what is “normal” and obey the rules.

Conveniently, they continue use this excuse to defend their emotional abuse of the victim. Thus, they get to single her out for humiliation in front of God and everyone anytime they feel like it.

Understand that, when this occurs, the school is willingly participating in destroying another human being.

Therefore, if you’re one of these targeted students, it’s imperative that you hold on to your sense of self. Hold on to your pride, confidence, and self-belief with everything you have.

It’s also crucial that all you parents and grandparents teach these children how. You must teach your bullied kids to believe in themselves even when it seems that no one else believes in them. You must teach them to know their worth even when it seems that others don’t.

Moreover, you must teach your kids to love and respect themselves even as others hate and disrespect them. Why? Because it is during the most difficult times that they’re need these virtues the most.

With that said, here are the signs of bullying by teachers:

1. The teacher harshly punishes you for things everyone else in the class gets away with.

If ever you notice that your teacher yells at or punishes you for things other classmates get away with, it’s a sure sign they’re singling you out.

Realize that anytime teachers bully students, they seem to actively look for the tiniest of infractions to use against these students.

Therefore, watch for the next time another student does the thing the teacher reprimanded you for. And once you see it, call it out to the teacher by asking, “Didn’t he just do the same thing you got onto me for? And he gets a pass.”

That’s right. We must have the courage to call these things out because it’s the only way to change it.

Another thing you can do is to document it all in detail. Sometimes, you must do your own investigation and gather your own evidence. This means keeping your own records of every bullying incident.

Therefore, write it down in a daily journal and be sure to use the 5W method. When you use the 5W method, you write down the What, Who, When, Where, and Why. And if possible, How.

In other words, you must record What happened and Who was involved and the names of any witnesses. Also, record When the incident occurred by writing down the exact date and time of incident.

Additionally, you must record Where it happened and Why it happened. For instance, did it happen in third period class. And was it because you previously reported the teacher for bullying you earlier that week?

Documentation is of the utmost importance when a person in power bullies you.

2. Bullying by teachers: The teacher allows bullies in class to bully you.

Anytime the teacher watches others bullying you and fails to address it, it’s called dereliction of duty. Or, you can call it neglect.

Whatever you call it, the teacher is clearly not doing their job and you should make note of it. Therefore, again, document this incident using the 5W method.

3. The teacher tries to humiliate you in class.

Again, here’s where documentation is useful. If nothing else, understand this.

Anytime a teacher or anyone in authority bullies you, it’s no time to be lazy. You must be proactive and how you do it is to keep a written record.

4. The teacher tells you that you’ll never amount to anything.

Therefore, document that! And most importantly, don’t you believe it for a second. See this remark for what it is and what it’s designed to do.

This teacher is trying to tear down your confidence and make you feel bad about yourself. Moreover, the bully teacher is trying to plant seeds in your mind in hopes that you’ll believe it and live up to it.

But, don’t you dare! Hang on to your confidence and know that this teacher is lying to you!

5. Bullying by teachers: Deliberately ignoring you or chewing you out when you have a question or need help with an assignment.

Again, document this. Also realize that the reason this teacher doesn’t want to answer your question is because she wants you to fail.

Therefore, find a friend or another adult who can answer your question. Or find a tutor to help you.

6. Calling or Labeling you “a student of low intelligence.”

Maybe the teacher tells you that you’re d*mb or that you’re st*pid. Maybe he calls you those names behind your back. Whatever the case, this teacher does this to make you feel bad about yourself.

Therefore, don’t internalize this. Instead, see the evil intentions behind it and document it.

7. Yelling and screaming at you.

This is the bullying teacher’s way to intimidate you, silence you, or humiliate you in front of the class. Again, you must document this.

Another thing that bears mentioning is that, depending on the laws of your jurisdiction, you can wear a hidden camera and record these things. Just make sure you live in a state or jurisdiction that doesn’t require a two-party consent to record.

8. Bullying by teachers: Putting your parents or siblings down and making negative remarks about your home life.

This is also abuse. Therefore, document it in detail or record it if the laws in your area allow.

9. Publicly announcing a bad grade you may have made.

This is designed to humiliate you in front of an audience and cause you embarrassment. Again, document and, if you can, record!

10. Labeling you “a failure.”

Again, when a teacher tells you that you’re a failure, he wants to convince you of it to increase your chances of living up to it. Therefore, know that just because someone says something, it doesn’t make it true.

Always remember that, and document their bullying.

11. Defaming you to other teachers and students.

The purpose of defamation is to turn others against you. Moreover, it’s a way to block you from making friends and being successful with potential partners.

Also, people use it to block you from opportunities, be they business, educational, career, or employment.

And lastly, people defame you to cut you off from any kind of help or support. Therefore, document everything- every instance of bullying, harassment, and defamation, no matter how slight.

By writing it down, you record it. In that, you establish a pattern of abuse and, therefore, evidence that is admissible in court!

12. Bullying by Teachers: encouraging the other classmates to bully you.

Bully teachers do this to inflict psychological pain and to turn others against you. You must understand that there are some pretty sadistic teachers out there. In other words, these teachers secretly enjoy making their target students suffer.

Moreover, they do it to isolate you and to convince you that you’re completely alone.

Therefore, document it and save it as evidence for a future lawsuit!

13. Putting you down for your beliefs, values, and convictions.

Nowadays, most people don’t like to agree to disagree like they did in the old days. Today, people seem to tolerate differences less and less.

Moreover, those differences include beliefs, values, convictions, and opinion.

Therefore, understand that you have a right to your own opinions and you’re NOT WRONG if your beliefs and values differ from anyone else’s.

I will repeat this a thousand times if I have to: document the bullying either on paper or by recording. Just know the laws in your area before using a recording device.

14. Bullying By Teachers: Giving you lower grades than what you deserve.

Bullying teachers do this to set you up for failure and to make you look bad.

This should be illegal. However, it’s not unheard of for bully teachers to give students they don’t like lower grades than the other classmates. And this happens regardless of whether the bad grade is warranted.

If you suspect that a teacher has committed this dishonest act against you, have another teacher you know and trust look over the assignment in which the bad grade was given.

If you and the good teacher find evidence that you’ve been given an undeserved bad grade, take pictures of the poorly graded paper and the checked correct answers. Then, document it.

15. Making excessively negative and brutal remarks on your papers, conduct reports, or report cards.

Again, this sets you up for failure and marks you as a bad student. Therefore, if you find these things on your progress and conduct reports, papers, and report cards, take pictures of it all with your phone. Then, document!

This post was all about the signs of bullying by teachers so that you can take the appropriate steps to protect yourself and your future.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

2. Gaslighting Examples: 11 Noteable Tactics Gaslighters Use

3. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

4. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of

5. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

September 30, 2024September 29, 20244 Comments

Bullying and self confidence can exist when you’re being bullied. In other words, there are ways you can continue to be confident when you endure bullying.

‘Want to know how to do it? Here are 7 steps to keeping your confidence up when others continue to bully you.

Bullies can crush your self confidence, that much is true. But only if you let them. As someone who has been there, I’m giving you the steps you need to preserve your self-esteem.

In this post you will learn ways to save your confidence when others bully you.

Once you learn about these steps, it will become easier to continue feeling good about yourself when others try to drag you down.

As a result, you will have the courage to stand up to bullies and make your own choices.

This post is all about bullying and self confidence. It also explains the tips that will help you stand strong against bullying and lead a happier and healthier life.

Bullying and Self Confidence

When you’re being bullied by everyone, holding onto your self-esteem can be challenging. And that’s putting it mildly. Moreover, after being bullied, it can sometimes take years to regain the confidence you lost.

However, there are things you can do to buffer your confidence and take the sting out of your bullies’ attacks.

7 Steps to Protect Your Self-Esteem

1. Watch and Listen.

You may not know it, but bullies have those who talk about them too. Believe me when I tell you. Bullies also have enemies, and lots of them. And why not?

Your tormentors have been walking over others for a long time. Therefore, you can bet that they’ve left a long trail of foes behind them. These are enemies who will be more than happy to dish out the tea about them. So, know that it isn’t wrong to get the information.

2. Know that you aren’t the only one these creeps have bullied.

Understand that seasoned bullies have had plenty of practice over the years. There have been other victims before you, and there will be more after you. Why do you think these people are so good at making you feel bad about yourself?

Moreover, how do you think they got so good at it? They certainly didn’t get that way by magic, nor did it happen overnight. No.

Their successful bullying tactics came from many years of trial and error. As a result, they’ve figured out what works and what doesn’t.

Therefore, there have been plenty of previous victims for them to practice on.

3. Bullying and Self Confidence:

Collect info on your bullies.

In other words, find out about their personal lives. Realize that your bullies have problems too. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be going out of their way to make you miserable.

As I stated earlier, your bullies have enemies, and plenty of them. Find those enemies. Then, cozy up to them and finesse a little information out of them.

Listen closely as they tell you all the dirty details about them. You will be surprised at what you find out!

4. Befriend others whom your bullies have bullied.

You and these people have something in common. Therefore, this should be a cinch!

Align yourself with these other victims. Bullies run in packs, so, why can’t victims?

Understand that there is strength in numbers. If you ban together, it’s a sure bet that your bullies will think twice before accosting you.

Remember that bullies are cowards. They would prefer to catch you when you’re alone rather than confront you while you’re in a group.

5. Bullying and Self Confidence:

Keep company only with people who love you and make you feel good about yourself.

A good sign of a true friend is someone who uplifts you and helps your confidence soar. This person uplifts and encourages you. Moreover, they have your back when you’re in trouble, and cheer for you when you reach success.

However, victims of bullying often end up with fake friends who only tolerate them. As a result, these losers only find ways to humiliate them in public, then throw them under the bus when trouble comes for them.

This is because victims often become desperate for friends and companionship. Therefore, they latch onto the wrong people. Sadly, some of these targets would rather have sorry excuses for friends who treat them poorly than to have none at all.

In other words, they are under the false belief that anything is better than being by yourself. Having made that mistake myself, I’ve learned that it’s better to be alone.

Trust me when I tell you, anyone who belittles you even a little bit is not your friend! They’re only there because they know that you’re lonely. And, to an unsavory person, lonely means vulnerable and easy to use.

Therefore, these types only hang around to take advantage of you.

This is why you must remove these creeps from your life, and find better friends who respect you. Moreover, you must continue to keep company with those who genuinely like you and want to be with you.

Know that you deserve people who celebrate you, not those who only tolerate you.

6. Bullying and Self Confidence:

Show off your talents and gifts.

In other words, if you can sing, enter talent shows! If you can write, enter writing contests! If you know you’re good at something, find ways to show it off!

You’ll be surprised at how much it raises your self-esteem.

If you haven’t gotten up the courage to do these things yet, know that I understand because I’ve been there.

The bullying you suffer can increase such that you begin to fear showing anyone what you do well. You’re not only afraid that people will laugh at you, you’re also afraid that bullies will punish you for showing off.

However, understand that you have one shot and the time to take it is now. There are no do-overs. If you give in to fear and forgo doing what you’d really like to do, you’ll end up regretting it later.

Therefore, come out of your shell and take every opportunity to showcase your talents! Who knows where it might take you?

Also, you must take care of yourself. Exercise and eat well to take good care of your body. But don’t forget to take care of your mental health too. This is equally important!

7. Bullying and Self Confidence:

Do the things that fill your soul.

Whether you love to swim, hike or camp, find opportunities to do these things. The more happy moments you create for yourself, the less of an effect bullying will have on you!

Doing these things will lesson the pain of bullying attacks. Why? Because you’ll know that you have friends, allies, talents, and positive moments in life that counter anything your bullies try to tell you.

As a result, you’ll feel much better about yourself. Moreover, you’ll be able to respond to their drivel with an inner horselaugh and a middle finger.

Also, it will help tip the balance of adversity and success more in your favor. Many targets of bullying often have a ton of social failures and only a tiny few successes.

Therefore, if you do all these things, you’ll soon achieve a healthy balance between the two.

But, if you allow bullies to destroy your confidence, they’ll also destroy your life. It’s a fact!

If your confidence goes, so goes your performance, your social abilities, and everything else!

Think about it. Most bullied children and teens do not do well in school if others do not treat them fairly. In other words, kids in school need respect and for people to give them space, opportunity, and freedom to learn and grow.

It’s the same for adults in the workplace. If an employee endures workplace bullying, it won’t be long before their work performance declines.

Moreover, once job performance goes down, others will take notice. Even worse, bullies in the department will only weaponize it. How? By using it as confirmation that the targeted employee isn’t as smart as he appears.

Therefore, when a person is bombarded with consistent put-downs, nitpicking, and abuse, they eventually stop believing in themselves. As a result, their performance suffers.

Although we hear of bullied kids who compensate for their social failures by diving into schoolwork, and making exceptional grades, these kids are exceptions to the rule.

So, if you ever encounter bullying, you must guard your self-esteem with your life. Why? Because your life truly does depend on it!

Bullying and Self Confidence:

Here’s are other ways you protect your self-esteem.

Be there for others who are suffering.

Take pride in your appearance and look your best. Because if you look great, you feel great!

Make affirmations- “I AM” statements to yourself every day. “I AM beautiful,” “I AM smart,” “I AM better than what they say,” etc.

Find a therapist to talk to.

Tell the people who love you about what you’re going through.

And, whatever you do, Don’t be silent about it!

Take these steps to raise your confidence levels and, before long, you’ll notice a huge difference in the way you see yourself. I guarantee it!

This post was all about bullying and self confidence to help you take measures to improve your confidence levels and your life!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

2. Acceptance and Tolerance: 5 Best Ways to Know the Difference

3. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

4. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

5. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You

Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

September 26, 2024September 26, 20242 Comments

You’ve probably asked this question many times. Why do bullies bully? Here are the most common reasons people try to dominate others and what you can do to take the wind out of their sails.

Bullies can reek havoc in the lives of their victims. If you’re a victim and have been for any length of time, you’ve probably asked this question a million times.

In this post, you will learn the answers to your question, “Why do bullies bully?” Moreover, you’ll learn why they refuse to leave you alone.

Once you learn these answers, you will no longer be confused. Moreover, you will feel better about yourself, knowing that the issue isn’t you, it’s them.

This post is all about the question that nags you day and night, “Why do bullies bully?” and gives you all the answers you need to know.

Why Do Bullies Bully?

If you’re a target of bullying, I’m confident that you’ve asked these very legitimate questions a million times over.

“These bullies despise me so much. So, why don’t they just get a life and leave me alone?”

“If they think that I’m such a bad person, why don’t they just let me go?”

“Why don’t they just drop me completely, go on about their business and let me go on about mine?”

“If I’m such a disgusting person to them, then why can’t my bullies simply just stay away from me?”

“My bullies hate me so much. So,wouldn’t it be better for everyone if they (figuratively) just stayed in their corner of the room and let me stay in mine? If they just went on and did their thing and let me do mine?

“If I’m as loathsome as they say I am, why even bother? Why waste the energy to chase me down and harass me?”

“For what logical reason would people continue to pursue a person they so vehemently detest?”

“Why do they keep talking to me at all, even if it is abusive?”

After all, it would be a sensible solution to their problem- they stay away from you; you stay away from them, then everyone can be shiny and happy. Right?

Unfortunately, that’s not how it works.

As much as I hate to break it to you, bullies will never go away and allow you to live in peace if they have selected you to be their target.

Why do bullies bully? Here’s why:

1. to dominate and subjugate

Understand that a bully’s entire mission in life is to dominate and subjugate…period. And if not you, anyone.

You just happen to be the easiest target for them. In other words, you are the person they have in their sights. Therefore, their goal is to subjugate you and to hold you down and oppress you.

2. It’s the only way they find meaning in their lives.

Their very ethos is in mentally or physically enslaving and tormenting you.

In short, the only way bullies can have some semblance of meaning in their own lives is to dominate another human being. Why? Because they could never attain (or obtain) power any other way.

In other words, outside of trying to control and keeping a tight grip on the lives of others (you), abusers can’t find meaning in their lives, nor any sense of effectiveness or self-worth.

Understand that these types of people have no substance. They have zero redeemable qualities. Moreover, the vast majority are life-losers disguised as winners and cloaked with false perfection.

Therefore, it makes perfect sense that the only way they find their meaning- which is their sense of effectiveness and self-worth, is by using force and riding roughshod over people they perceive to have the least power.

You must realize that if your abusers just left you alone, they would have nothing else because there is nothing left out there for them.

These bullies may indeed run the school, workplace, or community. However, outside of the environments they take over, make toxic, and rule with iron fists, they have nothing, zip, zilch, squat!

Why Do Bullies Bully?

On the other hand, their targets and others who are normal and have healthy mentalities don’t have to bully others. They don’t need to find meaning in their lives because they already have it outside the bullying environment.

These people find meaning through unity and togetherness with their families, their friends, their churches, homes, or through their love and pursuit of their talents, hobbies, and interests.

Sadly, people who like to harass don’t have these things to fall back on.

3. They are addicted to power.

Understand that human predators must have targets (victims). In fact, they need targets- people who they can oppress and subjugate. In other words, they need people they can order around and tell what to do because it gives them a power rush.

And power is addictive.

Take the target out of the equation and bullying ceases to exist.

Put another way, if one is going to be in charge, there must be people to be in charge of. You can’t rule over no one. You’re not the boss of anything if there are no people to boss around.

You can’t be a king if there’s no kingdom because for a kingdom to exist, there must be people living in it for you to rule.

It would be like discovering a deserted island and declaring yourself king of that island. If a king has no people to rule, he has no kingdom and, therefore, no power.

It’s the same with bullies. Without targets to lord over, there’s no power for them to have and enjoy.

4. Why do bullies bully?

To Re-Enforce their power.

Here’s another thing to consider: if you’re a target of bullying, the mere fact that you want to get away from your abusers- that you want to escape their abuse and declare yourself a separate person will enrage them.

Why? Because they can’t live without power and domination.

Therefore, any attempts you make to evade them will be met with reckless anger. Moreover, your harassers will escalate the abuse to punish you.

Why? Because when you flee or fight back, you’re attempting to take away the only power they have.

For example, the same thing happens when a battered wife finally musters up the courage to leave her abusive husband. He goes into a rage and loses control.

And not because he’s loses her but because he loses power over her. Bullies are no different.

Therefore, their rage and hostility at the possibility of you either fighting back or leaving the environment is all about the threat of losing power.

Put simpler, they desire to, in a sense, hold you hostage.

Remember that bullying is abuse, just like domestic violence, rape, molestation, or any other form of abuse. And abuse is about power.

In other words, they are one and the same, so, they’re both about power.

Therefore, your harassers will never allow you to live in peace. And the reason they won’t leave you alone is because to do so would mean them losing the only thing they have- their power…over you.

5. Why do bullies bully?

They enjoy it.

It’s true. They get enjoyment and fulfillment out of harassing and abusing others. Therefore, you must realize that these types of people are sadistic in nature.

In other words, they get pleasure from your pain. Believe it or not, such people do exist and they’re a force to be reckoned with.

6. For Increased Social Status

Bullying is not only used to maintain power and control over the target. It is also used as a vehicle to achieve higher social status.

And sadly, it works like a charm. The reason it works so well is that the bully can increase his social standing, while reducing yours.

In other words, for many people, having the respect and admiration of their peers is of more value to their sense of self-worth than money and material wealth. Although one can achieve elevated social status through wealth and material things, it can also be attainable though bullying if the bully doesn’t have the former.

On the other hand, if the aggressor does have money and material wealth, the social status he gets from bullying is just icing on the cake. In other words, it’s not something he feels he must do. It’s something he wants to do because he thinks it’s fun.

However, this is not a healthy way to achieve social status. A healthy way of increasing one’s social ranking requires some type of achievement. For example, joining a positive movement or donating to a charity.

Understand that these types of people are the talent-less, the lazy, and the incompetent. Again, they have no redeemable qualities, no personalities, and no real intelligence.

You must see these individuals exactly as they are- empty suits with zero substance. And, once you see them clearly, your confidence won’t take such a big hit when they come for you.

7. To Tighten bonds in Their group.

Not even love, respect, or friendship unite people as much as the shared hatred of something or someone. Moreover, there’s strength in numbers, and bullies must always have an entourage around them.

You will never see these types of people alone because the thought of being on their own scares them to death. The group is their power.

Also, the stronger the solidarity, the less likely it is of the group disbanding. Hatred is the glue that binds the members together.

As the target, you provide your bullies the assurance that their group always stays together as one. Without you, the group is weak; things get boring real fast, and it won’t be long before they split up and go their separate ways.

Of course, these 7 aren’t the only reasons. There are a few more reasons people engage in this atrocious behavior. But that’s in another post.

This post was all about the Answers to the question, “Why do bullies bully?” to relieve any confusion you might have.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Examples of Non Verbal Bullying

2. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

3. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You

4. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

5. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

How to Outsmart a Bully: 1 Proven Strategy.

August 23, 2024August 22, 20245 Comments

‘Want to know how to outsmart a bully at school or work and make yourself bully-proof? Here is one proven three-part technique you need to know about.

Having a bully on your tail can be overwhelmingly stressful. If you’re anything like I was when it was happening to me, you’re probably wondering how to outsmart a bully. As someone who has been there and used this method successfully, I’m giving you the exact tactic that worked for me.

You are going to learn the exact tactic that works like a charm.

After you learn this three-step strategy. You will be able to successfully lure your bullies into a trap they won’t be able to escape from. Moreover, they will think twice before trying to use you again.

This post is all about how to outsmart a bully at school, work, or the community by using the three part tactic that every victim of bullying should know.

how to outsmart a bully

Before we get into the three-part strategy, let’s first discuss the bully’s attitude about anyone who is smart.

Whether in the school, workplace, community, or even family setting, bullies hate a person who’s smart. Why? Because anyone who’s intelligent is likely to see through their acts and smoke screens.

Moreover, bullies also hate anyone who’s independent because they’re least likely to be controlled and subdued. In fact, most independent people are smart because they know how to improvise and do not need anyone else to hold their hand.

As we see in so many examples today in government and media, bullies would rather have you dependent, submissive, and ignorant. Now, why is this?

It’s because an ignorant person is a gullible person who will believe anything others tell them even if it leads them to the slaughter.

naivete is the root of dependence and submissiveness.

People who aren’t very bright, are the easiest to take power from and control because they never think for themselves. Also, they never think critically. People with low IQ take everything at face value and will fall for anything.

Moreover, a person who is naive either hasn’t had enough life lessons to learn, or they’ve been coddled and sheltered. In other words, they weren’t allowed to fall on their butt and have never been made to pick themselves back up.

Therefore, this person is also dependent. They are dependent because they never learned how to fend for themselves. Who can learn anything when, people are constantly bailing them out?

The ignorant are also submissive because they’ll do anything people, especially those who have a little influence (politicians, media, celebrities, sports figures…anyone with authority and clout) tell them just to stay in their good graces and those of society and the public.

How to outsmart a bully: Realize that Bullies easily take advantage of those who are naive, dependent, and submissive.

Therefore, understand that knowledge is power. Having the knowledge of evil and the motives and intentions behind it is the only way you’ll be able to protect yourself from it.

On the other hand, if you don’t know evil is happening, you’ll never be able to defend yourself against it. Therefore, you will be blindsided and thrown off balance when evil finally strikes!

And then you will be defenseless!

And the same will be if you’re willfully blind and ignorant. Though ignorance may be bliss, it won’t help you when evil strikes and reality is staring you square in the face. You’ll be just as defenseless!

You’re never too old to learn. And the process of attaining growth and wisdom is never comfortable.

In fact, it can be downright painful because it requires that you unlearn some of the falsehoods that have been drummed into your head for so long.

It also requires that you admit that you were duped- that you fell for all the bullies’ lies and that you were wrong. And, yes, it also demands that you admit that you are, or have been…wait for it… a dimwit! Gasp! Ouch!

It’s what I had to do, and it wasn’t fun, I can tell you!

It will be worth it in the end!

However, once you allow yourself to go through this painful process. In other words, once you admit some hard truths, you will come out a much better version of yourself. You will be wise, and it will be as if you’ve been given a new set of eyes.

You will see so much clearer and be able to pick out the tiniest detail. And the devil is always in the details.

Again, ignorance is bliss, but only for so long. Eventually, you will do either one of two things. You will either wise up and act to save yourself. Or, you will suffer the shock of realizing you were duped all along.

And your eyes will finally open the moment you face the very real prospect of being destroyed by the very people who fooled you.

How to outsmart a bully at school or work: What is the three-part strategy?

1. go ahead and allow the bullies to think you’re ignorant.

In other words, play the fool!

Here’s one thing you must know right now. When people think you aren’t very smart, you can run circles around them if you know how to use it to your advantage.

Why? Because you can use it to deceive your bullies and lull them into a false sense of security. Moreover, you can give them a feeling of mind-superiority and disarm any suspicions they may have.

Here’s one of the anti-bullying quotes I put on social media a few years back.

“When people mistake you for being stupid, it can really be a good thing if you know how to use it to your advantage. You can pull some sly, shady stuff and get away with it because no one would ever suspect it was you. They’d never think you were smart enough to pull it off!”

This is especially true with aggressive bullies because they’ll often rush in foolishly and make rash decision. As a result, they can get themselves in a lot of trouble.

Furthermore, this also works on arrogant and overconfident bullies. Why? Because the easier they think it is to abuse you, the easier it is for you to flip the script on them.

How to Outsmart a Bully: If you’re going to play the fool, be a genius at it!

If you want to move up any ladder but are low on the social hierarchy, appearing foolish can be the perfect cover! In other words, look like a complete moron, and no one will ever suspect you have tricks up your sleeve.

When bullies deem you a dummy, they don’t perceive you as a threat. They may look down on you, yes. But they’ll likely leave you alone. Therefore, when you finally put your plan into action and strike without warning, you’ll catch them completely by surprise.

So let them think you’re a complete idiot and use it as a weapon against them and a boon for yourself. Bullies may laugh at you behind your back, but if you know how to use it to your advantage, you’ll be the last one laughing!

When Bullies Label You “not smart,” Always Remember this:

Everyone’s a dummy outside of their talents, gifts and fields!

Fish can’t fly,
Birds can’t swim,
Most pro football players can’t write fiction novels,
And most singers and writers probably suck at sports!

My point is that everyone has something they’re good at, maybe some haven’t found out what it is, but everyone has a talent somewhere!

Moreover, understand that people will say things like this any time they feel you are surpassing them at something. Even better they lull themselves into thinking you are the most foolish person on earth.

However, if you see it as an opportunity, you can turn tables on bullies and make utter fools out of them- right before the eyes of everyone else!

2. How to Outsmart a Bully at school, work, or anywhere: Slyly Bolster your bullies’ ego.

In other words, let them delude themselves into a false sense of superiority and security. Oh yes! You read that correctly! Let them think you’re the most ignorant fool around because it’s the first step in laying your trap for them.

And once they get the idea that you’re such a dim bulb that you couldn’t pour pee out of a boot, that’s when it’s time to pull something elaborate, sly and shady as hell!

Put another way, look even more ignorant than your bullies and their perceptions of you will be your shield. They will be your cover when you slyly bait them or attack them, trick or deceive them!

Then, once they do find out you were behind it, it’ll be too late. And your bullies will look like blooming idiots!

3. Strike Unexpectedly.

Put your attack or dirty trick into action. Then, stand back and watch your bullies as they stand there slack jawed. Enjoy the embarrassment they feel and laugh to yourself.

Here’s a good example of this three-step strategy: This is how to outsmart a bully at school.

Celie is in the seventh grade and is a victim of bullying. A group of female bullies sits at the table next to hers and they are brutal.

One day, suddenly and out of the clear blue, they begin acting nice to Celie.

Celie knows there was a catch somewhere. However, she decides to humor the bullies just to see what they want.

Sure enough, a week later, the bullies very sweetly ask her to take up their trays (Ah-HA!!!)

Celie smiles at her bullies and agrees to do it. Therefore, she decides to demean herself for a little while and be their maid for a while. Why? Because Celie has a slick plan for those little creepstresses!

1. How to outsmart a bully At School: Celie Let’s the bullies think she’s ignorant.

So, the other kids laugh and think Celie is a complete pushover. But they don’t suspect that Celie knows something they don’t. But, they’ll soon find out once the opportunity arrives for her to put her plan into action.

2. Celie bolsters her bullies’ ego by continuing to clean up their mess.

Celie continues to play maidservant to her bullies for the next two weeks. That is, until the day finally comes when the bullies decide to get up and leave the lunchroom.

Just as Celie hopes they do, the bully girls leave their trays, empty milk cartoons, dirty napkins and other garbage lying on the table. They have grown so arrogant, thinking Celie will continue to clean up after them.

3. Celie seizes the opportunity and strikes unexpectedly.

Celie sees her chance. She only gets up and goes to her next class, leaving those trays sitting right there on the table. She leaves the trays exactly where the girls have left them!

As a result, the cafeteria ladies take down the names of all the girls and reports them to the principal!

The principal then calls the girls out of class, takes them back to the cafeteria and makes them clean up their mess. Oh, the humiliation they suffer!

Word gets around about the incident in a matter of minutes, and the girls became laughing stocks of the school! School staff scowl at the girls and other kids point fingers at them, calling them pigs, skanks, slobs, and other degrading names!

Joy! Celie ends up making her bullies look like the utter garbage they are.

And the bullies’ reactions? Fury! Rage! They immediately threaten physical retaliation. They yell and scream, calling Celie all kinds of names, while she only points and laughs at them.

The bullies never bother her again after their anger cools. They learn a valuable lesson in this. Never underestimate someone you think isn’t smart. They just might prove to be smarter than you think.

This post is all about how to outsmart a bully so that you can humiliate your bullies so badly that they stop targeting you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying

2. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

3. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

4. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

5. How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: 5 Powerful Steps

Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target

June 4, 2024June 4, 20243 Comments

Would you like to know if you fall into the category of easy targets for bullies so that you can better protect yourself?

There are six groups of people who make easy targets for bullies, and bullies, who are cowards of the lowest of scum, take full advantage.

These groups of people suffer the highest rates of bullying. They are the most persecuted. This is why it is so important that we, as decent human beings, look out for them and protect them.

You will learn all about who are on the list of easy targets for bullies.

Once you learn this information, you will better be able to be a champion for these people and they will have people like you to protect them when they cannot protect themselves.

This post is all about the seven groups that are easy targets for bullies and how you can be a voice for people in these persecuted groups.

easy targets for bullies

There are many groups of people people make objects of bullying. People who are just different. It doesn’t matter what that difference is. It’s human nature to want sameness. However, sameness gets boring fast.

For example, most people love pizza. It doesn’t mean they want to eat it every day of their lives.

So, which groups of people are the most likely targets of bullies? Here are your answers:

1. people who look different

They could be fat, thin, short, or extremely tall. It could be that they have an unusually large nose or ears. Maybe they have freckles or none at all.

Moreover, people with eyeglasses or braces may suffer bullying as well. However, someone with a cast on one of their legs may also endure it as would someone in a wheelchair.

The point is that bullies will pick out something visibly different about the person, then run with it. This only evidences the ignorance that bullies have.

However, bullies don’t target all obese or skinny people. Bullies only like to pick out a victim, then make life hard on them. It’s just want bullies do.

Therefore, the best thing to do is to see these bullies for what they truly are, ignorant morons with nothing better to do than to make other’s lives miserable. But, why do they do this?

They do it because of boredom or they live pretty miserable lives themselves. The only way bullies can feel better about themselves is to make others feel bad. They are pathetic souls we should pity.

2. Easy targets for Bullies: special needs people and those with disabilities

But why? Because, sadly, these particular targets are the most vulnerable and least valued in most schools, companies, organizations, and communities.

Furthermore, they are virtually defenseless. The heartbreaking truth is that nine times out of ten, the rest of society and even members of authority do not see these innocent individuals as human beings.

Not only kids in school, but adult bullies in the workplace will also target employees with disabilities.

Should it be any wonder bullies prey on sped students and disabled adults the most? It’s because bullies are great big cowards and all too often, the disabled are unwilling or unable to defend themselves properly.

Because students in special education are usually low on social intelligence, they’re easy to get a reaction from and bullies can exploit this at will.

For example, I cannot count the times during school, that I saw a bully go up to a sped student. They would snatch something away from them to get a little free entertainment.

Then, as soon as the child started crying or screaming, the bully said, “Oops! Oh, I’m sorry. Here ya go!” and give the item back as soon as they got the desired reaction out of the poor kid.

In the workplace, I’ve seen many adult bullies harass and attack fellow employees who were disabled. Those were the employees I stuck up for. Many times, I’d make myself a target at work just by speaking up for a disabled employee.

Even worse, I’ve also heard gut-wrenching stories of other teachers in schools bullying those in the special ed program. Again, these were teachers. Teachers!

**Even teachers aren’t above bullying sped students.**

I also witnessed it firsthand during high school when a sped girl in the lunch line just a few heads in front of me was laughed at and mocked by a group of cliquey teachers. Mind you. These women were supposed to be adults!

These cruel educators would look down their noses at this child and openly ridicule her, making her the butt of their jokes.

Moreover, I also heard the mean-spirited comments. The teachers remarked about how this poor girl would never find a job nor contribute anything to society. They concluded that she would only be a drain on the taxpayers’ money once she got out of school.

I have to tell you. Just listening to those remarks made me sick to my stomach! How I wish I’d had the guts to stand up for her when it happened!

However, I was only seventeen and a student myself at the time. I knew to keep my mouth shut because- well, these bullies were teachers.

I was also thankful that those cackling old shrews weren’t spewing any of their venomous wisecracks on me. Pure prejudice and discrimination were what this was!

Every school has those types of teachers and staff and they are usually the ones who not only mistreat the lunch ladies, custodians, and teachers who aren’t members of their little circle, they also mistreat sped students and sped teachers. And it’s a crying shame!

3. imaginative and creative people

This group is easy targets for bullies due to their vivid imaginations and creativity, which, by the way, isn’t a bad thing. It’s actually a very good thing.

However, bullies hate imagination because they don’t have one and are jealous of anyone who does. Therefore, if you are creative and have an exceptional imagination, be prepared for bullies to attack your dreams and ambitions.

Just know that they do it out of jealousy. This should definitely make you feel better about yourself and encourage you to follow your dreams no matter what they tell you.

4. easy targets for bullies: people who are emotional

Understand that bullies are on the hunt for your reaction when they attack you, and, it’s the reason they do it. If bullies can get an emotional reaction from you, it only fuels their ego.

Therefore, you must keep your emotions in check and never give them the satisfaction.

You must realize that bullies bully you to get control of you. Moreover, when bullies can control a person, it gives them a huge rush of power and don’t think they will ever give that up.

This is why you must see your bullies exactly for what they are. And, what they are is a bunch of pathetic, cowardly, punks. Think about it, most people get their feel good from their talents or their hobbies. Some get it from togetherness with family and close friends.

These are the things that give most people meaning in their lives.

Bullies don’t have talents or hobbies. Moreover, they probably have dysfunctional families and friends who really don’t add much to their lives.

In fact, bullies have no redeemable qualities whatsoever. Therefore, their lives don’t have meaning. So, what’s left?

Attacking others and making them miserable is the only thing bullies have left. Therefore, in order to feel good about themselves, they must make someone else feel bad.

That alone should give your self-esteem a huge boost. So, don’t feel bad when bullies come for you and don’t get emotional. Realize that your bullies probably don’t have much going for them and this is their last-ditch effort to find one crumb of meaning to their miserable lives.

Then, be thankful that you’re so awesome that you don’t have to resort to such measures. You’re a winner and you should know it.

5. People who are loners

Bullies love to target loners. Why? Because these are people who don’t have many friends. Moreover, no friends equals lack of support, which makes bullies even more emboldened to bully the person.

Remember that bullies are great big cowards. They will never bully those with numerous friends because they know that there will be people who will stand up for them. Therefore, loners are one of the easiest targets.

Also, most bullies run in packs. They always have an entourage of followers behind them to back them up. You see? Bullies never bully alone. They always do it in groups just in case the victim happens to be someone who isn’t afraid to fight back.

Bullies can do nothing on their own. Again, this fact should make you feel better about yourself because you aren’t afraid to stand alone. You can take care of yourself and that’s a great quality to have.

6. people who have low self-esteem

Bullies know that if someone has low self-esteem, they don’t like themselves very much. Therefore, they are least likely to stand up for themselves when attacked.

If you are one of these people, you must find ways to boost your self-esteem and see the value you bring to this world. Once you see your worth, you will no longer put up with those who make you feel bad and you won’t be afraid to either ditch them or defend yourself.

this post was all about categories of people who are easy targets for bullies to help you know what to fix in yourself and what to be proud of. It also helps you to know which people you should be helping.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Acceptance and Tolerance: 5 Ways to Know the Difference

2. How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims? Here are Your Answers

3. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

5. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

How to Respond to Darvo: 7 Powerful Ways to Shut it Down

May 7, 2024May 6, 20242 Comments

Would you like to know how to respond to darvo that bullies use to discredit you when you report their bullying or speak out against it? Here are the most powerful ways you must know.

The DARVO method that bullies use is tricky. Many victims of bullying are at a loss as to how to respond to it. As one who has had this method used on me, I am giving you the most powerful ways to respond.

You will learn about how to respond to DARVO properly and the the best responses that will shut this method down for good.

After learning these points, you will be extra prepared the next time a bully uses this evil technique against you.

This post is all about how to respond to DARVO tactics that bullies use. This is important information every victim of bullying, even narcissistic bullying, should know.

How to respond to darvo:

1. learn what darvo is and how bullies use it.

The first step in learning how to properly defend yourself against any bullying tactics is to learn exactly what each of those tactics is.

What is DARVO?

DARVO is an acronym which stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender.

Realize that this is a classic reaction bullies make any time the victim calls out their bad behavior.

If you are a victim of such tactics, it is imperative that you educate yourself on them.

Additionally, you need not only memorize the definition and textbook description of it. You must also know what DARVO looks like as it is happening.

For instance, a narcissistic bully may attack you and you may call them out on their rotten behavior. The bully reacts by telling you, “it’s no big deal.” Or, he may say something to the tune of, “you’re making something out of nothing.”

Understand that these are classic DARVO comebacks because they invalidate reality and make you out to have over-reacted. Don’t fall for it. You know what they did and that it was wrong. Therefore, continue to stand strong and stick to your guns.

the bully will project.

Moreover, the bully will become extremely aggressive and attacks your character and credibility. They may even attack your motives and intentions.

The bully may also dissolve into a puddle of tears or begin yelling in anger while attacking you. Bullies are expert at turning on emotions to achieve a desired result, which is to make it look like you instigated their abuse. In other words, they make it look as if they were only reacting to what you did to them.

Also, the bully may use insults, threats, and gaslighting to discredit your description of their abuse. Moreover, they will swear up and down that they’re being unfairly accused and that you are making false accusations against them to cover your bad behavior.

Put simpler, they will accuse you of doing to them the very same things they, in fact, did to you. This is classic projection and you should call it out as such.

As another attempt to deflect, bullies will also try to justify their evil behavior by shifting blame to you.

Understand that bullies do all this to reverse the roles and in hopes that others will see them in a more positive light. Bullies hope that others will see their abuse of you as a reaction to something you must have done to them first. All the while, they are continuing to inflict more abuse onto you.

2. whatever you do, stay calm.

This is an absolute must because your bully is hoping and praying that you will lose your cool. But don’t!

Why? Because bullies will use your emotions as confirmation that you are either cuckoo or a bad person. And, believe you me, they’re masters at this!

Also, they will misconstrue your emotions (crying, etc.) as a sign of guilt. Instead, remain calm and the bully is more likely to be the one flipping out because they can’t shake you.

I have found that by remaining calm and cool, you will drive them completely insane with anger. Therefore, you force your bullies to expose themselves.

Remember the quote in Sun Tzu’s “The Art of War.”

“Let the enemy destroy themselves.”

Again, your calm demeanor will arouse not only the bully’s anger, but also their fear. Your bully will be flabbergasted as to why you’re so calm. This will throw them off balance.

Moreover, they’ll flip out and begin yelling, shouting, and cursing. Don’t let this behavior intimidate you because his is what you want them to do to expose and embarrass themselves.

Remember that bullies have big egos and an image to protect. Also, they have an intense need for control. And they will do everything they possibly can to preserve their egos and maintain not only control, but also the image they have long ago crafted for themselves.

Although staying calm can be difficult when bullies abuse you, it can also be most effective in getting your bullies riled and bringing their true natures out in the open. The calmer you are, the crazier your bullies will get until they unwittingly expose themselves through their own behavior.

3. How to Respond to DARVO: Call the behavior out by name.

This is why you must first know what DARVO is, as well as the names of all the behavior that goes with it. This way, you can call it out by name and won’t sound as though you’re rambling.

Rambling makes you sound crazy and less believable. But naming the behavior and stating your case in a clear and concise manner makes you look more credible and makes the bully look unhinged. This is what you want.

For example, if the bully is projecting and accusing you of the very behavior they directed at you, Call it by name. Tell the bully in front of an audience that they’re clearly projecting to try and make themselves look like the good guy and that you are onto them.

If they are trying to justify their behavior, again, call it out. Say to the bully, “Don’t try to justify your behavior because there is no justification for it. Be an adult (or if it’s a child, you can say, ‘be a big girl/boy’) and take responsibility for your actions.”

4. Document, document, document!

This cannot be stressed enough! You absolutely must document everything in detail. Keeping a bullying journal is of the utmost importance, not only if you have a bullying partner at home but also if people bully and harass you at work or school.

Keeping documentation helps you to keep a record of bullying in a more clear, concise, and organized manner. Moreover, it is admissible in court and during tribunal at work or school board meetings.

When you document, always use the 5W Method (What? Who? When? Where? and Why? Also, if possible, How?) This allows your story to make more sense. Also, it effectively calls out any perpetrators and produces possible witnesses.

In other words, write down what happened, who was involved, who was around to see what happened (the names of any bystanders and witnesses). Also, write down when it happened (the exact date and time of occurrence).

Additionally, include where it happened (did it happen in the school locker room? The workplace parking lot?) and if you know, why it happened (was it because you reported your bullies’ abuse of you?) Be as detailed as humanly possible when you document!

How to Respond to Darvo: do your own investigation!

This is how you gather your own evidence. How to respond to DARVO doesn’t include waiting for anyone else to do anything you can just as easily do for yourself.

Never rely on the school or your workplace to conduct their own investigation. This is where many victims get screwed because when entities do their own investigations (if they do them at all) it will only be to their advantage and your detriment.

The reality is that schools, workplaces, or any entities for that matter, usually side with bullies. Why? Because not only are bullies expert at covering their behinds, but also, they are usually stars in the who’s who at school or higher-up in the workplace or organization.

Therefore, always do your own investigation. Documenting is the most effective way to gather your own evidence.

Also, depending on the laws in your state or jurisdiction, you could secretly record the bullying you suffer. Again, make sure the laws in your state allow recordings.

In other words, If you live in a two-party consent state, you must also have the permission of anyone you record. However, if you live in a one-party consent state, you only need your own permission. Therefore, you are FREE to record!

Again, make sure you know the laws in your state before you do this. The last thing you want is for your bullies to have grounds to sue you for invasion of privacy. And you just know they would salivate over that opportunity. So, don’t give it to them.

5. practice self-care

In other words, be kind and compassionate to yourself. Make daily affirmations to yourself. Make I AM statements, “I AM a good person,” “I AM not wrong for standing up for myself,” “I AM lovable,” “I AM deserving of friends, family, and people who love me,” ” I AM worthy of God’s love because He loves me anyway, regardless of what I’ve done in the past,” etc.

And when you make these affirmations, believe them with all your heart.

Practicing self-care also means spending time with the people who love you and who want what’s best for you. Keep company only with those who lift you up and avoid people who bring you down. This is how you nurture your self-esteem and mental health.

Indulge in a good soak in the bathtub with bath bombs or treat yourself to a day at the spa.

Self-care is essential when dealing with this form of abuse.

this post was all about how to respond to darvo so that you can better protect yourself against this insidious form of abuse.

Related posts you will enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

3. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

3 Motives Behind a Bully’s Attacks

December 26, 2023December 19, 2023Leave a comment

Behind every bully’s attacks is a motive.

Have you ever wondered why bullies are so aggressive with you when they could care less about you? You understand that when someone doesn’t care a lick about you, they show no emotion, positive or negative. In other words, they’re indifferent.

However, when the bully is aggressive, it shows that they are bothered by something about you. It could be something you said, did, or conveyed through body language. It could even be your very presence that might bother the person.

Whatever the case may be, that something about you is motivating the attacks and aggression. But realize this, it’s not that they care one iota about you. What they do care about, however, is the possibility of your taking your power back from them. You becoming independent of their thoughts and opinions of you is the last thing your bullies want.

Here are 3 motives and emotions behind a bully’s attacks.

Fear.

Bullies fear losing power over you. Whether it’s physical attacks or smearing and trying to cancel you, every bit of it is only proof that they feel threatened. Moreover, your bullies feel that they’re losing the battle for power or are about to lose. Therefore, they double down on attacking you to reinforce their power over you and keep you under their thumb. This often comes in the form of retaliation because you stood up to them and defended yourself. And the only way to discourage you from doing that again is to retaliate with greater force.

Why? Because if you stand your ground and begin refusing their attempts to walk on you, you just might start a huge trend and inspire others to do the same, causing the bullies to lose all respect, status, and authority (power).

Resentment and Revenge.

Again. When you defend yourself against a bully’s attacks or demands, you only make them look (and feel) like punks, especially if you do it in front of an audience. It is for this reason that bullies will often retaliate. And they do it not only to subdue you and keep you under their power, or to save their “tough” reputations, but they also do it out of revenge. Anytime you stand up to bullies, they will often try to get back at you for it. Understand that bullies are entitled little twits. They need gratification and satisfaction, and when you refuse to give it to them, they will resent you and desire to punish you for it.

lies, liar, woman whose nose has grown long

Deception.

Bullies have an image to keep up and they want to look tough. In other words, the bullies are trying like the devil to cover up the fact that you’re winning the power war against them. Think about it. If you were truly losing, they would act indifferent toward you. Your bullies wouldn’t need to become aggressive. It wouldn’t be necessary to go on the attack because you would be no threat to them nor the image they portray in public.

Therefore, they wouldn’t give you the time of day. Bullies, particularly the narcissistic type, always discard those they deem to be losers. On the other hand, threats must be contained. Those they see as threats are a lot of hard work for bullies. They require many attacks for the bullies to restore their power, be that power image, social status, or even physical status.

So, if a bully is incessantly attacking you, it isn’t because there is anything wrong with you and it isn’t because you’re weak. It’s because you somehow pose a threat to them, and that threat may or may not be so obvious. It may be very subtle. For example, the bully may pick up on something that isn’t so visible, maybe an inner strength you have that they can’t quite put their finger on.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Bullying and Plausible Deniability

June 4, 202216 Comments

Most bullying is emotional and psychological torture. Sure, there are many physically violent bullies out there and they are psychologically traumatizing enough using their fists. However, physical bullies are either (a)not very socially intelligent and persuasive, (b) attack in groups wearing masks over their faces to give them anonymity, (c) so well-connected that they’re almost untouchable, or (d) couldn’t care less about the consequences they will face.

The reason most bullies prefer psychological violence is because there are no bruises, cuts, wounds, scars, or any visible marks on the target’s body. And without visible marks, there’s no proof of the abuse. Therefore, when you report the abuse, the perpetrators aren’t likely to get into trouble for it and you stand more of a chance of being accused of being too sensitive, paranoid, or mentally ill.

These are the reasons I recommend being prepared when you know you must walk into a snake pit.

Here are ways to gather evidence:

1. Document the abuse- I’ve said it many times before and I’ll say it many more. It’s crucial to document each bullying incidence and do it in detail. Use the 5W method- (What, who, why, when, where…and sometimes how) write down what happened, who was involved, who were the bystanders and witnesses, why the bullying incident happened (retaliation for reporting a prior bullying incident?) when it happened (date and exact time of incidence) and where it happened (school bathroom, locker room, gym, behind the school, the parking lot, etc.).

2. Wear a body camera- If you live in a one-party consent jurisdiction and the laws permit you to wear one, I recommend you wear a body camera. In fact, I can’t stress it enough! Body cams that record both video and audio are your best bet, but if you can only get a cam that records video, that’s fine too as you can still capture physical attacks and body language. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but a video is worth a thousand pictures because if bullying is caught on video, there’s no question that it’s happening and it’s the best evidence you can get!

3. Keep a digital recorder handy- These are good for recording verbal altercations and many of them today can play recorded sound that is clear and not muffled.

4. Make 3-4 Copies of your evidence- Whether it’s documentation, body cam recordings, or digital audio recordings, it’s always best to make several copies of the evidence because schools, companies, and other entities are notorious for (deliberately) misplacing and losing a target’s evidence of bullying. Yeah, I know. Convenient, isn’t it?

5. Keep each of your copies in different (undisclosed) locations- This is so important! Because, if you think school districts and companies haven’t snooped through a target’s office, or worse, hired people to break into their houses to search for evidence they can dispose of, you’re wrong! When it comes to the threat of being sued, schools and companies will resort to anything, and I mean anything!

6. Screenshot and save any nasty and abusive emails, texts, or private messages- Very important! Any time bullies resort to cyber-bullying you via email, text, or private message, they automatically leave a paper trail! Screenshot it, save it, and, if need be, print them all out. Make copies of them and the files. Store each copy in an entirely different place (your house, your grandma’s house, your lawyer’s office, etc.) Store them in a fireproof safe!

They snoop through your garbage when you put it out on the street for the trash-men to pick up the next morning, break into your vehicle, and other nefarious things to cover their butts. I’ve read many an article about these things happening to targets of bullying, whether in school, the workplace, or community. And in today’s world, bullies are now targeting their victims for surveillance drones and school boards are targeting parents with electronic surveillance as well, then spreading their private information and pictures of children to some evil entities.

It’s a very dangerous world nowadays and you never know what sick people you just might be dealing with.

gavel and soundblock of justice law and lawyer working on wooden desk background

I can’t stress enough how important it is to gather your own evidence. Quietly do your own investigation. It’s pointless to rely on the school or workplace to investigate for you because the results will only be in the bullies’ and the investigating entity’s favor, not yours! Never, ever trust anyone else to gather evidence or investigate for you. When you’re targeted for bullying, you cannot afford to trust anyone but yourself and I’m not joking! When you’re bullied, it’s not the time to be lazy. The only person you can depend on is you. Only you can gather the evidence you need to prove that you’re targeted by bullies, take legal action, and get justice.

With knowledge comes empowerment!