examples of subtle bullying in the workplace

Examples of Subtle Bullying: 6 Powerful Ways to Read Between the Lines

July 29, 2025July 29, 20256 Comments

‘Want to know some examples of subtle bullying? Here are a few you need to know.

Subtle bullying is the most insidious because it is sneaky. The bullying isn’t as direct, and it’s designed to fly right over your head. In other words, it happens without you realizing it and doesn’t give you a chance to respond.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about some examples of subtle bullying, so that you can recognize it when it happens and respond appropriately and confidently.

Once you learn about these examples, you will be better equipped to address them and prevent them from happening again.

This post is all about examples of subtle bullying, so you know what it looks and sounds like, and can more easily set boundaries.

Examples of Subtle Bullying

Subtle bullying is the most demeaning and humiliating for a person. I say this because when this type of bullying happens, the bullies are slick about it.

They catch you off guard, taunting you in such a way that it can be tricky to figure out who they’re directing it at. Sometimes, you don’t even know it’s directed at you until it’s way too late for you to deliver a good comeback.

The bully may not necessarily address it to you. However, while you may be unaware, any bystanders and witnesses nearby will immediately know who the bully is insulting. It’s amusing how we tend to see things more clearly from the outside.

What’s so terrible about this is that the stealthy insults are usually hurled at you in front of an audience. And they can quickly fly over your head. As a result, you end up looking foolish for not catching it in time.

Additionally, the bully’s words may be vague and unclear, but they will still nibble at your self-esteem. They take a chunk out of your pride whether you want them to or not.

Because you usually figure it out sooner or later. It only goes to prove how vicious these covert attacks can be.
But understand that although the bully and a few others might think he (the bully) is witty or cute and that the creep slapped you with a good burn, there are reasons why these types are so slick with their mouths.

Here are a few examples of Subtle Bullying

Example 1.

A heavier family member is at a family gathering. The family is discussing the cat that has just had kittens, and one of the kittens is a runt.

The heavier family member then mentions that they were a tiny four-pound preemie at birth and that they were once the runt of the litter too.

As the heavier family member leaves to go to the bathroom, another family member remarks, “But you caught up, though.” Then they giggle and say, “I don’t think she heard that.”

But the heavier family member does hear it, and it hurts. However, being the better and wiser person, she lets it go for the sake of keeping the peace. She’s an adult, and she lets it roll down her back.

However, inside, she’s crying. But she hides it with a smile and a laugh.

Example 2.

An older father is discussing his three sons. Two of the kids are blessed with lovely homes and generous paychecks. One is poor. The father remarks that, if he ever got sick and couldn’t live on his own, he’d have to live in the closet if he had to depend on the poor child to give him a place to live.

And he says it right in front of the poor child. The poor child is the bigger person. Therefore, the poor son is the graceful one and lets it go for the sake of family harmony.

However, inside, he feels less than but masks it perfectly.

1. They’re great big cowards.

Subtle bullies are too cowardly to make a direct attack. Moreover, they count on the possibility of you not noticing their insults.

Why? Because they know that they’ll likely throw you off balance. Therefore, you’ll be less likely to counter with a good response and make them look foolish.

Or, maybe they do it in a setting that makes it difficult to respond, such as the family gathering we just mentioned.

Again, these types of bullies are cowards, and they’re probably in a superior position in the family, where they can get away with it.

2. Examples of Subtle Bullying:

They think it makes them look cute.

Passive-aggressiveness is also used to get attention and look intelligent in front of others. These bullies can only achieve this by humiliating someone else and making them look (and feel) foolish.

Moreover, if they feel bad about themselves and their position in life, they roll out the zingers to make themselves feel better. Some people need to feel superior to someone else. Moreover, they often choose the least capable person in a group.

Remember, shit always rolls downhill and lands on the bottom rat. And when something lands on the bottom, that’s where it stays.

3. To stun you and keep you silent.

Often, the shock value of the insults is such that it leaves the recipient and bystanders speechless. Shock shuts down the ability to think clearly and causes the victim to pause for a second or two.

The target is often left stunned, standing there with their mouths hanging open and unable to respond quickly and appropriately. As a result, the person appears slow and feeble-minded in the eyes of bystanders, making the bully look smart and witty.

It can also strike fear into the target and keep them from speaking out, afraid that the bully will only verbally attack them with more insults.

4. Examples of Subtle Bullying:

Easy Deniability.

If the insults are vague and indirect, there’s a higher chance the bully will escape accountability if the target catches it right off and responds to it.

Then, the bully can more easily misconstrue the message and defensively claim innocence. They can say things such as,

“Oh, that’s not what I meant.”
“No harm intended.”
“I wasn’t referring to you.”
“You took that the wrong way.”

Understand that although the garbage that comes out of their mouths may be vile and directed at you, it will often have several different interpretations. And because of those multiple meanings, the bully can very innocently explain away the put-down.

As a result, they can make you look overly sensitive or mentally unstable.

But here’s the good news!

There are ways to read between the lines and stonewall these lowlife cowards anytime they get slick-mouthed with you. Here’s how you read between the lines.

1. Listen to your gut.

If that nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach feels off and you sense something is amiss, don’t ignore it. Your gut feeling is often right, so trust it!

2. Examples of Subtle Bullying:

Quickly observe any surrounding bystanders.

Make a split-second micro-glance of the witnesses and note their reactions and who they’re looking at. Notice their facial expressions and gestures.

If you see any of these expressions below, and you’re likely to notice many of them together, you are the target of the insult.

3. The witnesses’ eyes suddenly widen, and they immediately look at you funny after the bully opens his mouth.

This happens any time a bully throws a subtle zinger at you. Naturally, you’ll notice the people around you. You’ll see how their eyes nearly pop out of their heads and the funny looks they give you.

The reason for this is that they’re wondering why you don’t tell this person to piss off. They’re standing there thinking, “Damn! Why aren’t you saying something to defend yourself? If it were me, I’d tell that smart-ass piece of garbage to go to hell!”

4. They alternate uncomfortable glances from the bully to you, then back to the bully.

Again, they’re shocked that the bully said that to you. They’re waiting on you to deliver a good response. Moreover, they’re even more appalled that they did it right in front of your face and you aren’t standing up to it.

They’re thinking, “Why aren’t you telling this creep to get fucked? If it were me, I’d handle this shit quickly!”

3. Examples of Subtle Bullying:

You hear light gasps and grunts from the “audience.”

Again, they can’t believe that this person had the balls to say that to you. And they’re wondering why you stand there and take it.

5. You see their whole faces change suddenly and mouths slightly gape open.

These people aren’t only shocked, they’re embarrassed for you. Moreover, they’re relieved that it’s you getting subtly pummeled and not them.

Anytime a bully humiliates you like that in front of others. You must respond quickly or you’ll end up seeming like a pushover. Then, everyone will start bullying you.

6. If you hear soft but Mocking giggles, chuckles, or laughter

When you hear these things, see it for what it is. These people are enjoying seeing you get owned. Therefore, rain on their little parade. Tell the bully to get bent.

I realize that this may be difficult to do if it’s a family member. In that case, you don’t have to insult them back. However, you can tell them that what they did was wrong and that you don’t have to tolerate it.

If you see any number of these reactions from people around you, you will know automatically. Therefore, you can address the problem accordingly.

Examples of Subtle Bullying:

In CLOSING

When bullies throw subtle zingers and insults at you, the last thing you should do is not respond. You must see this for what it is. Your bullies are using passive-aggression. This type of bullying is psychological and you must stand up to it as you would if the bullying was physical.

The best thing you can do is address it. And when you do, chances are that they will respect your right to be treated better.

This post gave you some examples of subtle bullying so that you’ll recognize it when it happens and address it accordingly.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Passive-Aggressive Bullying: 7 Hallmarks of Sneak Dissing

2. Psychological Abuse Tactics: 9 Mind Games Seasoned Bullies Use

3. Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

Is Bullying Natural? 3 Cop Outs Bullies Use for Excuses

July 28, 2025July 28, 202511 Comments

Is bullying natural? Some people think so, and some do not. Here are all the details you need to know.

Many people say that bullying is only natural selection. Additionally, they may refer to it as Darwinism. They may even say that bullying is all about survival of the fittest.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn to look further into to the age-old question, “Is bullying natural?”. Also, you will learn all about bullying, natural selection, Darwinism, and survival of the fittest so that you can make your own judgments.

Once you learn all about these details, you will be able to draw more informed conclusions.

Is bullying natural? This post may or may not give you the answer you’re looking for. However, it will prompt you to conduct some research and draw your own conclusions.

Is Bullying Natural?

Anytime I hear people refer to bullying as either of the three mentioned in this article’s title, I find it cringeworthy at best! And the words that immediately flash through my mind are “cop-out,” “trivialization,” and “excuses.”

However, the more research I do, the more I’m convinced that it is a dark part of human nature. However, it doesn’t mean it’s natural, per se. Moreover, it damn sure isn’t right, and people shouldn’t do it.

Many bullies use the natural selection, Darwinism, and survival of the fittest science as excuses to continue their behavior.

And that is what pisses me off!

When bullies describe their behavior as one of these three things, they are essentially saying that their behavior is entirely normal. Therefore, they don’t have to stop the abuse.

They’re also saying that victims are weak and undesirable. And that they should be eliminated from the human race. Moreover, they believe that bullying is required for the survival of the human race.

Bullying is not normal.

Bullying is anything but normal. It is brutal, malicious, hurtful, and cowardly.

Victims of bullying are not weak. And they are not undesirable. They may think differently from most. They are often exceptional people with brilliant minds.

Many celebrities, CEOs, inventors, writers, scientists, doctors, and professors were bullied in school. Moreover, some of them have been bullied in the workplace as adults. However, they survived.

If these people had not survived, the world might never have seen many awesome inventions. Many breakthroughs never would have happened.

For example, Edison might not have invented the electric light bulb. Bell may not have finished inventing the telephone.

Perhaps we would never have seen the first organ transplant. Where would we be without these people?

Bullying may be a dark part of human nature. But, I would not go so far as to say that it’s natural or normal.

Is Bullying Natural?

Bullying only destroys the human race.

An example of this would be the Nazi’s bullying of Jews during World War II. As a result, they ended up slaughtering six million of them during the holocaust.

Now, do you still think that bullying is necessary for the survival of our species?

Bullying is never okay! And sadly, I’ve heard many people refer to it as one of the above three. Understand that this is only a cop-out.

It’s a way to blame victims. And, it’s an excuse not to help those who are bullied.

If you are a bully or bystander and believe this garbage, then you are only lying to yourself. If you’re a victim, rest assured that you are not weak, nor are you undesirable.

It only means that you are brave enough to think outside the box. Moreover, you refuse to be a follower.

Those are characteristics that you should be proud of. Why? Because you have the opportunity to go far and make a difference in society.

Therefore, don’t give up! Give yourself a chance! You never know. In the future, you may be the person who brings positive change to the world. And your bullies will more than likely end up living less than desirable lives.

So, what are Darwinism, natural selection, and survival of the fittest?

Is Bullying Natural?

What is Darwinism and Natural Selection?

There are 3 cop outs bullies hide behind. Darwinism, Natural Selection, and Survival of the Fittest.

Darwinism refers to the theory of natural selection. In other words, humans and animals choose mates based on their preferred inherited genes and traits. For instance, partners are likely to select those with specific physical and mental characteristics over others.

The purpose of this is to ensure the production of healthier offspring. That’s fine and dandy. I get that. However, bullying has nothing to do with natural selection. Why? Because bullying is abuse.

It’s one thing not to prefer a particular person for a relationship or friendship. That’s okay because we like what we like. However, when a bully sets out to bully a target, they must stalk them to do it.

Again, bullying is abuse. Natural selection doesn’t involve bullying. You choose certain people over others. And it doesn’t have to involve bullying.

This is why Darwinism and Natural Selection are excuses bullies use to cop out behind.

When you choose a particular person over the other, it doesn’t involve bullying the other. In other words, just because someone chooses someone else over you, it doesn’t mean they’re out to harm you. Bullying, on the other hand, seeks to do deliberate harm.

What is Survival of the Fittest?

Survival of the fittest is the theory that organisms best suited to their environment are more likely to survive, reproduce, and pass their superior genes to their offspring.

Again, this doesn’t involve bullying. It simply means that those who are best suited to their environments are more likely to survive. For instance, an Inuit can survive in cold climates. In contrast, someone from the tropics will have a hard time adapting and surviving in the Arctic.

It doesn’t involve bullying.

Is Bullying Natural?

5 myths about bullying we need to be aware of

Myths are often mistaken for facts. Therefore, they can obscure people’s judgment. They can also blind you to bullying behavior, even when it’s happening right in front of your face.

Moreover, myths can even make it hard for a person to know when someone is abusing them.

Here are a few myths to be aware of:

Myth 1. Targets are weak losers who deserve bullying.

People suffering at the hands of bullies are not weak, nor are they losers. Over the past decade or so, we have found that bullies tend to target those who are genuinely good people with kind hearts.

Bullies are evil people who perceive goodness, kindness, and generosity as weaknesses. Therefore, they target people who have these qualities.

Additionally, bullies often target those who are multi-talented, star achievers, and performers. Understand that bullies perceive these individuals as a threat to their power. Why? One-upmanship is one way bullies can feel a sense of power.

When high-achieving targets outshine bullies, they unwittingly provoke jealous rage in them. And these bullies will pull out all the stops to make them pay and set them up to fail.

If nothing else, understand this! Bullies hate to be outshone, outdone, or beaten at anything! Nobody deserves bullying. Ever! Bullying is harmful and can destroy someone’s life.

There are myths about bullying that don’t help.

Is Bullying Natural?

Myth 2. Bullies are brave, strong, cool, exciting, and in control.

Ha! Bullies are the opposite of these things. Let’s explain further.

Bullies are brave.

Nope! Bullies are great, big cowards, but they’re good at hiding it. Bullies live by the motto that strength comes in numbers, so they run around in packs. They hide their cowardice behind groups of sycophants or flying monkeys.

You will never catch a bully alone because a bully doesn’t know how to stand alone. Their followers are there to support them and do their bidding.

Bullies get their power from an entourage. Without their wingmen to cover them, they would be powerless.

Bullies are strong.

No! Bullies are weak. However, they hide that behind a veneer of aggression and false bravado. Understand that bullies draw their power from the fear they instill in others.

What bullies are is a bunch of bluffs, blowhards, and windbags. The tough act they put on is a way they hide their weaknesses.

Bullies are cool.

Wrong! Bullies are pathetic. They bluff, they posture, and they one-up people. They always have to be better than anyone else.

All of this are signs of insecurity and self-loathing. Because if they were secure in themselves, they wouldn’t resort to this kind of buffoonery.

Is Bullying Natural?

Bullies are exciting.

They may seem exciting at first, but they quickly become boring. Why? Because they’ll talk incessantly about themselves.

They will brag and showboat until you’ll want to chew off your arm to get away from them. And they won’t be so exciting once they turn on you.

Bullies are in control.

Really? Is that what you want to call it? Um… not!

Bullies can’t control themselves and their own pathetic lives. So, they seek to control you to feel powerful. And in doing that, they not only create victims, they also develop enemies who hate them with a passion.

If you’re a bully, you may only control someone to a certain degree. You may put the fear of God in them. But you’ll never control what they think of you and how they feel about you.

Why? Because the mind and thoughts are free. And if you run across a person who has a strong sense of self and doesn’t fall for your guff, what are you going to do then?

Is Bullying Natural?

Myth 3. “Bullying is a normal rite of passage that all kids endure.”

Not so. There’s nothing normal about bullying. It’s perverse, twisted, and sick.

Bullying only speaks volumes about their own mental imbalance and lack of character. A bully’s behavior doesn’t reflect on you. It only reflects on them.

And the more we learn about bullying, the more evidence we seem to get that supports this.

Myth 4. Bullying builds character.

No, it doesn’t. It tears it down. Why? Because it erodes the confidence you were born with. It causes anxiety because, when you’re bullied, you no longer feel safe.

Myth 5. Bullying is only Natural Selection and Survival of the Fittest.

It may be a dark part of human nature. But a reason doesn’t equal an excuse. Bullies and their enablers often use this little line as an excuse to normalize their pathetic behavior.

It’s important to dispel these myths. So, do not fall for this garbage.

Never blame yourself for other people’s crappy behavior. Hold on to your truth. And if anyone rattles off any of the above lines to you when you speak out against bullying, counter them and do it with conviction.

Is Bullying Natural?

In Closing:

Bullies are all about abusing others, then making excuses for it. Even bystanders and schools make excuses for bullies. And the myths only serve to encourage bullies and blame victims.

However, bullying is harmful, and it can be dangerous to victims! The effects are often devastating.

Therefore, the next time someone bullies you and makes excuses for it, call them out on their bullshit. And do it straight to their faces.

See their behavior for what it is. Abuse!

This post was all about whether bullying is natural so that you can recognize hogwash and counter it confidently.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying Myths: 5 Widely-Held Beliefs about Bullies and Victims

2. Excuses Schools Make for Bullies: Here are 7 Most Common

3. Effects of Bullying on the Victim: 13 Symptoms of Bullied People

bullying characteristics in the workplace

Bullying Characteristics: 10 Bullying Behaviors to Be Aware of

July 26, 2025July 16, 20252 Comments

‘Want to know all the bullying characteristics? Here is all the information you need to know.

Bullying exhibits both evident and subtle characteristics.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about several bullying characteristics so that you can recognize them immediately and deal with them accordingly.

Once you learn all about this game-changing information, you will be able to notice bullying when it happens and stand up to it confidently.

This post is all about recognizing bullying characteristics, so you can identify even subtle forms of bullying when they occur and defend yourself against bullies.

Bullying Characteristics

If you watch closely, you will notice that bullies and bullying have certain characteristics. Here’s what they are.

1. Craving Power and control over others.

One of the main characteristics of bullying is the desire to have power and control over others. Most bullies can’t control their own lives. Therefore, to compensate for this, they seek to exert power and control over their victims.

Now, bullies know that they can’t ride roughshod over just anyone. Therefore, they are very careful in who they select to take power over. In other words, bullies choose their victims wisely.

Therefore, if they choose you, let them know that they chose the wrong person to bully. Stand up for yourself. Make them regret they ever looked in your general direction!

2. Targeting those who are weaker.

Picking on those who display weakness is also one of the main characteristics of bullying.

For example, school bullies often target individuals who are weaker than they are. These are kids with low self-esteem and those who are shy.

Additionally, they may target individuals who are physically smaller and weaker than they are, those lacking social skills, and loners.

Why? Because these are the students who will least likely defend themselves. Children with low self-esteem may believe that they don’t deserve respect. Therefore, they don’t fight back.

Kids who are smaller may be too afraid to stand up to bigger bullies. And those who have the least social intelligence may not know how to stand up for themselves.

Therefore, these kids are the most susceptible to being bullied.

They rarely pursue other students who are confident and have healthy self-esteem. The reason they are selective is that they are cowards. They know that the confident students will likely stand up to them.

Therefore, bullies like to pick easy targets. If you are one of those victims, start standing up for yourself. And do it with strength!

3. Bullying Characteristics:

Trying to Bring down those who are confident.

This happens mainly in the workplace. School bullies go after the weak. However, workplace bullies are different than school bullies.

Bullies at work like to target coworkers who threaten their positions. Therefore, they target the people who are the most confident and knowledgeable.

Now, bullies on the job may target those who are weaker. However, they primarily target the confident and competent coworkers.

Why, because they are highly jealous of those who outshine them. Remember that workplace bullies are often trying to advance in the corporate hierarchy. And they do this by taking down anyone who performs better than they do.

For instance, if you are confident and intelligent, they may undermine your confidence by pointing out your mistakes during a meeting. They may also talk over you to make you look weak.

Here’s how you defend yourself against this form of bullying. When the bully talks over you, keep speaking. Don’t pause, no matter how hard it may be not to. Also, stay confident. You do this by knowing where the bullying comes from.

4. Psychological Warfare.

Physical bullying is too apparent. Therefore, most seasoned bullies in school and adults at work use psychological warfare against you.

Moreover, psychological bullying is one of the least noticeable characteristics of bullying. So, why do the most talented bullies use psychological tactics to bully you?

It’s because psychological bullying doesn’t leave any bruises or cuts. In other words, it’s the least evident and hardest to prove.

Psychological bullies bully by inflicting verbal abuse. They may also spread rumors and lies to tarnish your reputation and destroy your relationships.

Again, counter this kind of bullying. If it’s verbal, counter it. If it’s social bullying, stay true to yourself. This will reveal who your true friends are.

5. Bullying Characteristics:

Relational Bullying

The destruction of relationships and severing social connections are also characteristics of bullying. Moreover, they are forms of psychological bullying.

Bullies destroy your relationships and social life by spreading rumors and lies about you. They sow division between you and your friends by telling them that you’re talking badly about them behind their backs.

Moreover, bullies in power may threaten to harm your friends if they continue to associate with you. Why do they do this?

They do this to instill fear in your friends, hoping they will turn against you.

The reasons bullies do this are to isolate you and cut you off from any support. Your bullies know that if they can do this, the least likely people will stand up for you.

And they realize that the best way to keep others from aligning with you is to alienate you from them. They alienate you by instilling fear in your friends and loved ones.

Moreover, they know that if they plant seeds of doubt in your friends’ and loved ones’ minds about you, they have better chances of turning these people against you.

If your bullies can turn everyone against you, then they get to bully you anytime they want without the risk of turning everyone against them.

To protect against this kind of bullying, stay true to yourself. Those who genuinely like and love you won’t fall for their garbage. And those who do will only reveal their true slimy selves to you.

6. Bullying Characteristics:

Verbal Bullying

There are two ways bullies may verbally abuse you. They may be sneaky about it. Or, if they’re brazen, they may do it openly.

However, they do it, bullies verbally assault you to tear down your confidence and make you feel bad about yourself. Verbal bullying is a form of brainwashing.

Why? Because it can cause you to doubt your worth. All they have to do is inflict the abuse repeatedly and for long enough.

And, the more they repeat it, the more likely you are to start believing them. Bullies know that if they can get you to believe them, then you’ll likely live up to it.

And if you live up to it, then they’ll no longer have to work so hard. Why? Because you’ll begin confirming what they claim to have known all along.

That you really are no good!

Therefore, to keep this from happening, you must counter this type of bullying. Say something back. For instance, if the bully tells you that you aren’t worth a damn, you can say, “Maybe to you I’m not, but to many others, I’m the world.”

7. Non-Verbal Bullying

Non-verbal bullying is bullying through gestures and body language. Bullies may also use facial expressions to let you know that they’re watching you.

For instance, a bully may glare at you. They may stare you down. And, they may do it for a long time, without blinking.

Why do bullies do this? Simple. They do it to dominate and intimidate their victims.

Your bully may also pound their fist into the palm of their opposite hand. They may flip you off. Also, they might look at you, then take their thumb and make a cutting throat motion.

Understand that all these gestures and expressions are designed to intimidate you.

Moreover, non-verbal bullying is sneaky. Bullies use this kind of bullying to keep others from catching them in the act.

How you stand up to this kind of bullying is to mirror the same body language back to the bully. For example, if the bully gives you a dirty look, return the gesture.

8. Bullying Characteristics:

Keeping victims confused

Being bullied by someone who is passive-aggressive is the most demeaning and humiliating experience for a person. I say this because when these types of people insult you, they’re slick about it.

They catch you off guard. They taunt you in such a way that it can be tricky to figure out who it’s aimed at. Sometimes, you don’t even know it’s directed at you. That is, until it’s too late for you to deliver a good comeback.

Why? Because the bully may not necessarily address it to you.

While you may be unaware, any bystanders nearby will immediately know who the covert nastiness is meant for. It’s funny how we tend to see more clearly from the outside.

What’s so terrible about this is that the stealthy insults are usually hurled at you in front of an audience. Moreover, they can quickly fly over your head. And you end up looking weak and like a clueless idiot for not catching it in time.

Even though the bully’s words are vague and unclear, they will still nibble at your self-esteem. They will take a chunk out of your pride whether you want them to or not.

Why? Because you usually figure it out sooner or later. It only goes to prove how vicious these covert attacks can be.

But understand that although the bully and a few others might think he is witty. Even if the creep slapped you with a good burn, there are reasons why they’re so slick with the mouth.

It’s because, again, they’re cowards. And, again, they want to confuse you to keep you from standing up to them.

But stand up to them anyway. There are ways you can stand up to this type of bullying.

9. Bullying Characteristics:

Physical Bullying

Physical bullies may beat you up to make you do what they want. Understand that this is a weakness because people only submit because they don’t want to get whipped.

In other words, they never do it because they want to, but to keep themselves safe from harm.

True influence is when someone does something for you because they genuinely want to do it. When people have a choice and they choose to do something you want, the result is so much more rewarding.

Understand that these bullies see everything as zero-sum. They either have total control or no control at all. There’s no in-between. If they can’t have complete influence, they feel ineffective and powerless.

Bullies usually get physical when they’ve tried everything else. In other words, when nothing else works, they turn to physical abuse as a last resort.

Anytime someone physically attacks you, you must defend yourself. Also, you can call the police. Whatever you do, don’t just do nothing. You must stand against this type of bullying.

10. Cyber-Bullying

Cyber-bullying is the most malicious and dangerous form of bullying. This is because a much wider audience sees the attacks. Also, there’s a high degree of anonymity. Why? Cyberbullies hide behind fake screen names and profiles to avoid exposure.

Cyberbullies are cowards. They fear being detected for the sick creeps they are. So, they use your private message inbox to unleash their vitriol onto you.

Even if you delete the person from your friends’ list, they can still flame you through the inbox.

Many cyberbullies think that you will be so emotional that you won’t think to take a screenshot of the message. Therefore, they will be emboldened to continue this behavior until you properly address the situation.

So, stay calm. Never react to the vile messages by sending evil messages of your own. Don’t call them names, even if they start out name-calling you. Do not react by cursing the cyberbully out or using all caps.

Instead, don’t respond. Just delete and block them. They may make more fake accounts. However, block them too.

This post was all about bullying characteristics so that you can recognize them and stand up to them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Psychological Abuse Tactics: 9 Mind Games Seasoned Bullies Use

2. The Perfect Victim: 9 Traits Bullies Look for in Potential Targets

3. Cyberbullying Tactics: 9 Common Tricks of Cyber-Bullies and Trolls

Popularity and Bullying

July 25, 2025July 25, 20255 Comments

‘Want to know how popularity and bullying can go hand in hand. Here is all the information you need to know.

In this post, you will learn about popularity and bullying so that you can call it out and protect yourself from it.

Once you learn all the ins and outs of this kind of bullying, you will be able to recognize it, call it out, predict your bullies’ behavior, and defend yourself.

This post is all about popularity and bullying, so that you can recognize how they connect and protect yourself from popular bullies.

Popularity and bullying

Most popular people like to bully others. It’s just what they do. Here’s why they do it and what you can do to protect yourself.

Bullying for Increased Social Status

Bullies not only use bullying to control you. They also use it as a vehicle to achieve a higher social status.

And sadly, it works like a charm. The reason it works so well is that, when someone bullies you, their social status rises, while yours falls. They benefit at your expense.

For many, having their peers admire them is the end-all be-all. It adds more value to their sense of self-worth than money and material wealth.

One can achieve an elevated social status through wealth and material possessions. However, they can attain it through bullying if the bully lacks financial means.

On the other hand, if the bully does have material wealth, the social status he gets from bullying is just icing on the cake.

It’s not something he feels he must do to raise his status. It’s something he wants to do because he thinks it’s fun.

Popularity and Bullying:

Why DO popular people bully?

1. Because they have social capital.

It’s because they have the social capital to protect them from wrongdoing. Bullies with social capital are the most destructive

These are the bullies who enjoy the most social connections and friends in high places. A vast majority of people either think well of them or fear them.

This includes classmates at school and coworkers at work. They can also be those in the neighborhood or community.

Bullies can be the “cool kids” at school, the “Good Old Boys” clique at work, or the dominant group in town. These bullies can also include local politicians, businessmen, or members of prominent families in a particular area.

Their popularity is their weapon.

It doesn’t matter how much money you have, it’s how much power you have.

Although money does help, these folks don’t necessarily have to be rich to have these connections. I’ve known many who were quite poor and had a lot of power. Why? Because of the relationships they maintained with influential people.

What gives them the power they have is their connections with the right people. This is why bullies in these select groups are particularly dangerous and can cause you the most harm.

These types of bullies proactively build a network of social relationships. Moreover, they do this to reinforce their power and get protection from any accountability for wrongdoing.

In many cases, they already have well-established ties that date back several years. I can’t stress this enough. So, I’ll repeat it.

Those who are popular do not have to be rich. In fact, most of them aren’t. I’ve met many people who were poor but popular, and wealthy individuals who weren’t.

Money does not equal popularity.

Popularity and Bullying:

Bullies with social connections.

Bullies build connections that benefit them with protection and keep them above reproach. Moreover, these connections give them carte blanche to ride roughshod over anyone freely and with impunity.

They may perpetuate a culture of bullying.

These are the types who will watch their enemies closely. They know they have good name recognition. Therefore, they take advantage of it.

Whenever a bully has a significant amount of social capital, others are less likely to risk pissing them off. Why? Because they may become the next target.

And chances are that if they target you, their groupies and flying monkeys will only follow their lead.

Bullies with power have many wannabes who surround them. These groupies will bully you simply because it’s what the bigger bullies expect of them.

This is why the most popular and well-connected bullies get away with deplorable behavior. Heck! They can do anything they want to anyone.

Therefore, if you become a target of one of them, they will use their influence and connections to destroy every aspect of your life. And they’ll never stop coming after you.

Popular bullies are very influential, persuasive, and, most of all, convincing.

It’s how they were able to achieve their popularity in the first place.

Their names alone carry significant weight behind them. They possess trust, mutual understanding, and shared values and behaviors that promote unity and strengthen their group.

When one of these bullies says something, others, even those outside their circle, listen. And they take their word as fact!

Popularity and Bullying:

Sacred Cows.

I call these people “sacred cows”. Why? Because they are the most popular. They have the most power and influence in a school, corporation, or community. They have so much of it that others don’t dare question or speak against them, even if they’re wrong.

In fact, they may get rewarded for their behavior.

Therefore, with sacred cows, people may not necessarily like them. They may even hate them but, you can be sure that they fear them.

So, even haters are careful not to speak against them publicly or within earshot of the wrong people.

If you’re a target of bullies who have social capital, know that they can make your life hell. They can tarnish your name with smear campaigns.

And others will believe it simply because of who the rumors and lies come from. They can also cause the loss of your job and block you from finding new employment. As a result, these bullies can rob you of your ability to make a living.

Popularity can be a powerful weapon!

These bullies can destroy your ability to make new friends because others will be too afraid to associate with you. In other words, you become radioactive!

When bullies are popular and well-liked, no one wants to do anything that might upset them. Therefore, they play it safe and avoid you like a bad disease.

If you own a business, bullies with popularity can discourage customers from patronizing it. They can also have their worker bees set fire to it and burn it down.

And don’t put it past them to trump up false charges against you. They may set you up to be arrested.

For example, if they know a few crooked law enforcement officers, they may have them pull you over on the way home from work.

And these bad cops may plant drugs in your car to have an excuse to throw you in the slammer. If that doesn’t work, they may send henchmen to visit you or meet you on the street somewhere.

Popularity and Bullying:

These bullies are the biggest crooks because they’re popular.

Your self-esteem can also take a harder hit because of these bullies’ popularity. And you’re likely to be paralyzed with fear, especially if you’re a kid in school.

Here are a few things you can do to insulate yourself from popular bullies.

Remember that even the most popular bullies have enemies. And some of those enemies may be just as powerful. Also, bear in mind that you aren’t the only person these creeps have bullied.

There were others before you, and there will be others after you. Bullies with popularity love to throw their weight around. And if they can’t do it with you, they’ll find someone else to buffalo.

Build your own social capital.

Find out who else these brutes have tormented. Then, befriend and align yourself with them..

If you can find those who were once a part of the bullies’ circle but were ousted, that’s even better! These former friends likely have private and sensitive information about each of the bullies.

Moreover, they probably know some damaging info about their sycophants as well. These individuals will likely be seeking some form of retribution.

Therefore, they’ll be only too happy to give you all the juicy details!

Establish tight connections with your fellow victims. Cozy up to anyone the bullies have double-crossed. Band together with them. Why? Because nothing unites people like the shared anger and hatred toward an enemy.

Popularity and Bullying:

Establish connections with your bullies’ enemies.

Pal around with them. Eat out with them. Be sure you’re seen with as many of these victims as possible. This will provide you with a little protection!

The more targets and outcasts you connect and bond with, the better! And always have their backs and make sure they have yours!

Also, make friends, take jobs, and seize opportunities that are outside the bullies’ element. If necessary and all else fails, consider moving to a new area.

Tell no one of your plans or where you’re moving to. Sometimes, it’s just best to vanish!

Do these things, and you’ll be much safer!

This post is all about popularity and bullying, so that you know what to expect from popular bullies and ways to protect yourself from them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why People Reward Bullies

2. Reasons Why People Bully – 7 Most Common Motives

3. Bullying Culture: When Bullying is the Status Quo

4. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

bullying and school shootings statistics

Bullying and School Shootings: 8 Facts You Need to Know

July 23, 2025July 15, 202515 Comments

‘Want to know about bullying and school shootings and why you should think before you act?

According to Science Direct, “Approximately 88% of school shooters had at least one social media account, and 76% posted disturbing content of guns and threatening messages. Over 72% of shooters had at least one reported adverse childhood experience, and 60% reported being bullied in-person or online.”

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about bullying and school shootings. Moreover, you will learn why taking a gun to school is wrong whether or not you were bullied. And thirdly, you will learn all the consequences of it to yourself and everyone else.

Once you learn all about this life-saving information, you will be compelled to seek out better ways to handle it if you’re a victim of bullying.

Bullying and School Shootings

Many victims of bullying end up destroying their own lives and the lives of others by taking a gun to school and murdering their classmates. This must stop now!

However, before we get into the nitty gritty of this topic, let’s first talk about the widespread occurrences of victims using their victim-hood as an entitlement to wrongdoing.

The Dangers of Copping Out Behind Victimization

Sadly, too many victims use victimization as justification for wrongdoing. They feel that because they suffered, life owes them somehow.

In fact, I’ve seen people mistreat others merely because of the bullying they suffered in the past. Why? Because they think it’s the only way they can feel empowered again.

For example, some people may choose to rob a bank. Maybe they burn down a corporate building because they grew up poor and didn’t get a fair shake in life.

Again, they feel that the world owes them. Moreover, they feel justified in striking back against a system they believe screwed them over.

Moreover, when the law finally catches them and hauls them off to jail, they become even more embittered. Why? Because the perpetrator feels that accountability only further evidences that they aren’t getting a fair shake.

However, here’s the reality many don’t want to accept. We’re still responsible for our actions regardless of what happened to us in the past.

Here are 8 facts you need to know!

1. Bullying and School Shootings:

Victim-hood does not exempt you from consequences.

Evil behavior always brings consequences. You reap what you sow.

Therefore, past victimization does not justify wrongdoing. Ever! A reason does not equal an excuse.

Even if you’re a victim of bullying, you’re still responsible for your life.

Therefore, why not learn from the bullying you suffer. Because, believe it or not, there are lessons in it. Let it teach you something. Also, let it motivate you to create a better life for yourself later.

Realize that school is only one chapter of your life, not the entire book. And know that things will get better. They did for me and they will for you too.

Many school shootings have happen in the past thirty years. We have Columbine, Santa Fe, Parkland, and Marjory Stoneman Douglas.

Therefore, it compels me to write about something which isn’t discussed enough. It’s no surprise that bullying is a factor most school shootings.

It seems that most of today’s kids don’t have the emotional strength that those of mine and older generations had. So again, let me remind you.

Being bullied is no excuse for taking human lives.

2. Your feelings are valid but your actions aren’t.

Not if you shoot someone.

Yes. Bullying can push you to the breaking point. And yes, after years of relentless and repetitive bullying, it’s easy to snap.

Believe me, I know how it feels when school staff cruelly rebuff you when you report bullying. However, bringing a gun to school and using it isn’t the answer.

Even if you do knock off a few of your bullies and turn the gun on yourself after you’re done, you’ll still leave death and mayhem in your wake!

Those left behind will still be here to deal with what you did. And, I promise you. You’ll leave your family and the families of the ones you took in utter devastation! In fact, you’ll destroy an entire community!

And people will remember what a coward you were. All because you chose to use a gun instead of your fists! They’ll always remember how you offed yourself to avoid going to prison.

And they will talk about it for years to come. Is that the legacy you want to leave behind? You have to think before you act!

Bullying and school Shootings:

Columbine

I have read many articles about the Columbine Shooting in April of 1999. Many experts stated that the perpetrators, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, had been bullied for years.

They said that the boys had gotten fed up with the continuous negative treatment. As a result, they finally went into a rage and lashed out. Sadly, many more victims of bullying have followed their example since.

I cannot stress enough how counterproductive it is to bring a gun to school! However, I believe there is something we’re missing here.

Somewhere along the way, parents have lost the ability to talk to kids about the consequence of their actions. Moreover, the mental health industry has also failed.

I know I’m going to piss a lot of people off. But, I’m going to be honest. I think that they’re in it more for the money than they are to help bullied kids. This is only my opinion.

3. public schools and the mental health industry work together.

It’s no secret that public schools and the mental health industry work together. Also, bullying in schools keeps the mental health machine humming.

It keeps the lobbies of mental health centers packed with fresh, young patients. Moreover, it keeps the pharmaceutical companies purring too.

They profit from shoving anti-depressants down these kids’ throats. Then, they send them on their way. In many cases, schools are the ones that recommend kids to these mental health facilities.

Hmmm… is it any wonder public schools do nothing to reduce bullying rates? ‘Gotta keep those mental health centers cashing in! Right?

And they have to keep Big Pharma’s pockets fat too. Mental health has become a cash cow these past few decades.

Not to mental, bullying, mental health, and school shootings make good political fodder. It keeps the left pushing for gun control and the right pushing to arm teachers and tighten school security.

Therefore, it keeps the political machine humming as well.

Bullying and School Shootings:

Teaching Bullies and Victims Personal Responsibility

Each incidence could have been prevented. Moreover, we CAN prevent the next shooting… before it happens?

Many want to preach about gun control. But, how about holding bullies accountable and teaching them better ways to deal with their emotions? How about teaching victims confidence and proper ways to defend themselves?

And what about telling victims the truth? The cold, hard truth! That no one is coming to rescue them and it’s their responsibility to defend themselves!

Why? Because life’s not fair and it never will be. Most bullies are charming and convincing. Moreover, they will find ways of escaping accountability.

The point is that everyone has a responsibility here.

4. When You Shoot Bullies, You make them the victims.

Again, no matter how horribly you are treated, it doesn’t give you the right to harm someone. No matter how angry, sad or lonely you are, it is never okay to take a life. NEVER!

A cause is never an excuse. The only thing that justifies killing another human being is if they’re threatening your life or the lives of your family.

Murder is wrong. Moreover, there are better and more productive ways to handle bullying.

Let’s put it another way. When you kill someone, you no longer get to claim victim-hood. Instead, you immediately become the aggressor and make your bully the victim!

Sorry. It is what it is!

You must understand that this is exactly what bullies want. They want to look like the victim in the eyes of others.

And they want to do it while sneakily torturing you and making you look like the bad guy. Therefore, by shooting them, you only make it so much easier for them to do that.

Remember that bullies are masters at feigning victim-hood. It’s the reason they go unpunished while you look guilty as hell.

Think about it. And think hard! Your bullies have looked innocent and vilified you for so long!Why then would you want to help them look like bigger victims?

5. Bullying and School Shootings:

When you shoot someone, your bullies’ lies about you become the truth!

Your bullies have already destroyed your reputation. Shooting them would only transform their lies into the truth.

You’ll only prove that you really are despicable person. In other words, you’ll only confirm that they were right about you all along.

Here’s another possible scenario. If you shoot your bullies, you will make them heroes. People will engrave their names on a memorial at the school. On the other hand, they’ll regard your name with contempt and disgust.

You will go down in infamy. People will view you as a disgusting and vile monster. Whereas, they’ll remember your bullies as martyrs. Seriously! Is that what you want???

Therefore, when you take the life of another human being, you not only put shame on yourself. You also put shame on your family!

Do you really want to put the people who love you through that kind of humiliation? Once you kill someone, you can never correct it! You can never bring them back!

6. If you take a life, it won’t matter that you suffered bullying.

Nicolas Cruz didn’t think about this when he snapped and decided to go to Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School and shoot his classmates. Yes. He was a victim of bullying.

The other kids considered him to be “weird”. One of his classmates, Emma Gonzales even admitted to bullying him.

However, he chose to handle it incorrectly. He picked up a gun and shot several classmates.

Therefore, the fact that he was bullied is no longer relevant. That’s. Just. Reality!

Bullying and School Shootings:

**7. If you shoot someone without just cause, no one will care why you did it.**

They won’t give a damn what your reasons were! And it’s the same attitude with Nicholas Cruz. Nobody cares that he was bullied. Nobody cares that he was pushed over the edge

The only thing that matters is that several kids are dead because of him. And if you allow your bullies to drive you to committing murder, the same will go for you.

Yes, bullying is a hell only few can comprehend. I understand the intense rage. It builds to a climax after so many years of putting up with abuse.

Moreover, I understand the feeling of hopelessness. I’ve been there… in the trenches! But! You must think before you act.

Keep your wits about you no matter how badly people bully you.

You must learn to think ahead. This means thinking of the possible consequences you’ll face. Moreover, it means considering how it’ll devastate your family, not only theirs.

Think about what it would do to your future! How many prospects and opportunities would disappear, just like that!

8. Your bullies aren’t worth it!

Don’t do it! Think before you act! There are better ways to conquer bullies and bullying.

Therefore, take revenge by taking care of yourself. Make positive changes in your life. Transfer to another school and reinvent yourself if you must. It’s what I did!

Find your purpose. Set and accomplish your goals. Strive for self-betterment! If people don’t value you, then you need to create your own value.

This could be as simple as doing something you’re good at and winning an award for it. Or making an A on a test!

Instead of picking up a gun, pick up as many successes as you can. Instead of a gun, let SUCCESS be your weapon of choice! Why? Because, as Frank Sinatra quoted, “being wildly successful is the best revenge you can ever take.”

It’s about self! Make it about you and what you can achieve! Screw your bullies! They don’t matter. In fact, they don’t deserve the privilege of being in your life!

Make a lot of money! Win a truckload of awards! Write a book! Cut a CD… whatever fulfills you!

Make as many accomplishments and happy moments as humanly possible! Create your own value with SUCCESS!

This post is all about bullying and school shootings so that you’ll think before you do something drastic. Moreover, you’ll find more constructive ways to handle bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Self-Preservation Instinct: Defending Yourself from Bullies is Okay!

4. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

5. How to Shut Down a Bully: 11 Comebacks that Stop Them Cold

Causes of Bullying: 9 Proven Factors That Trigger Bullying

July 11, 2025July 11, 20253 Comments

‘Want to know the causes of bullying so that you can feel better about yourself, knowing that it isn’t you who provokes it? As someone who was on the receiving end of it years ago, I’m giving you the proven triggers of bullying that you need to know about.

Bullying can cause victims to ask themselves questions such as, “What am I doing wrong?” If this is you, know that you aren’t to blame for someone else’s attacks against you.

In this post, you will learn the exact causes of bullying so that you can sleep easily knowing that you did nothing wrong.

Once you learn about all these triggers that bring about bullying, you will finally be guilt-free and at ease. Even better, you will be able to stand up to your bullies confidently and refuse to accept blame for their monstrous actions.

This post is all about the causes of bullying so that you can live without guilt and boldly stand up to bullies who make these accusations.

Causes of Bullying

There are many causes of bullying. However, what I’m about to mention is one. Bullies bully because they have fragile but overinflated egos. Believe it or not, the ego is a huge factor in bullying- perhaps the biggest.

1. Ego.

We all have egos. However, most of us know how to handle them. Bullies, on the other hand, do not.

Bullies will often bully you anytime they see you get recognition for an achievement. This is because bullies interpret any praise you receive from others as a massive blow to their ego.

When you achieve success in something, bullies start thinking about their own accomplishments (or lack thereof). They then begin comparing them to yours. Once they do that and feel that your wins outmatch theirs, they become highly jealous of you.

Bullies become absorbed in how your success reflects on them. Moreover, they personalize it. To them, it feels like you are an adversary competing for the same award.

Because of the bullies’ exaggerated self-focus, they become angry and want to attack you for being so fortunate.

2. Jealousy

They compare themselves to you according to their own egocentric views.

They fear that others will consider them less important than you. Think about it. You are “supposed to be” inferior to them. Yet, you are the one who’s scoring all the achievements. You are the one getting all of the praise and glory. Ouch!

Your bullies see you getting more attention than they are. All this combined only infuriates them. But, there’s a reason it enrages them so much. It’s because your success directly contradicts their belief that you are inferior.

Bullies absolutely despise being shown up. As such, they feel a sense of injustice whenever you achieve success and receive recognition for it.

If you’re a target of bullying and a high achiever, you’ll often hear one or more of these statements.

Causes of Bullying:

“You think you’re better than mE.”

This remark is a dead giveaway, given the context. What this suggests is that they’re afraid you’re better than they are. In fact, it scares them to death!

You think you’re this and you think you’re that. These kinds of statements only come from fear and a bruised ego.

Making such bold statements tells you that your bullies fear what you might think of them. So, your bullies are trying to project that onto you. They act as if they know what you are thinking of them.

Bullies claim to be mind readers. And what’s so bad is that they presume the worst of you without any evidence to back it up.

The bullies then have an urgent need to attack you. Why? Because they feel that you slighted them simply by being successful and making achievements.

But see this for what it is! Your bullies are jealous. They’re envious of anyone who outshines them somehow.

3. Self-Servitude

Bullies are self-serving. This is the reason why they get their egos involved in the first place. Any form of bullying is always about the bully; it’s never about you. They’re only using you as a dumping group for all their mental issues.

Understand that it’s about their mental health issues. It’s about their feelings of inferiority. It’s about their insecurities. Also, it’s about their incompetence. And it’s about their ignorance.

There’s nothing about you that needs examining. It’s about their lack of intelligence, their cowardice, and their jealousy.

It’s about their false bravado, their over-inflated sense of importance, and their fragile egos. They are the pathetic ones, not you!

Remember that your bullies see you as a threat. They’re afraid you’ll expose their weaknesses and shortcomings. They’re worried your talents and gifts will outshine theirs. In their efforts to make you feel inferior, they only make themselves more inferior.

4. Causes of Bullying:

Low Self-Esteem

Bullies have low self-esteem. And they often project their self-esteem issues onto others.

They also hold unrealistic, negative views of your morals. All the while, they think that their morals are superior to yours. Bullies will also end friendships with friends, even lifelong friends, who dare to have positive associations with you.

Many bullies love to virtue signal and trumpet their moral superiority. And they do it especially while comparing it to yours. Many bullies become social justice warriors and moral crusaders. But they only do this for show.

“Look at me. Look at all the good I’m doing for the world! I’m not a bully, I’m standing up for the downtrodden!”

5. The quest for power

Bullies will deliberately bring up offensive topics and attack others. They’ll especially attack you over your differences in values. They’ll shame you for your convictions and opinions.

Realize that moral superiority feels good- it’s empowering. Virtue signaling and moral crusading are often driven by low self-esteem and a desire to prove oneself.

Again, the unwritten message is, “Hey! Look at me! I’m fighting for justice, so I’m not such a bad person after all!” Bullies will say that the world sucks and needs to be changed.

And they’ll do it to send the message that they’re better than everyone else. In thinking that they’re better than everyone else, bullies get to avoid feeling so crappy about themselves.

6. Causes of Bullying:

Hypocrisy

Bullies can violate rules and laws because they think they’re exempt from them. However, if they ever see you do it, they’re quick to call you out and crucify you for it.

Bullies think that they can do any damn thing they want but nobody else should have that luxury. It’s an example of the self-entitlement and privilege these people think they have the right to bestow on themselves.

Bullies have highly needy egos, and the ego is the source of bullying, abuse, meanness, and hatred. They hate and want to hurt you because you are the antithesis of them.

7. The need for someone to take down

Bullies want to destroy you because they think that they will feel better afterwards. However, we know that they would only feel better for a little while. Then they would need to search for another victim.

Remember that Alexander the Great wept because there were no more worlds to conquer. In other words, he could no longer find a conquest. That’s what you are to your bullies, a conquest!

Therefore, once you are no longer available, your bullies will search for another victim. And if they can’t find one, they won’t know what to do with themselves.

Understand that bullies are psychop@ths. They love only themselves and have no regard for anyone else. Any morality and ethics they claim to have are only a mirage. And they hate anyone who dares not agree with their grandiose views of themselves.

Bullies are masters at faking the good guys. They lie without a conscience, saying anything they think will make them look good in the eyes of others.

8. Causes of bullying:

The need to look big

Bullies try to look intelligent, and it may work for a little while. However, they eventually end up doing or saying something to reveal their stupidity.

Bullies will flip-flop, saying one thing now, then saying the opposite later. And they do it thinking (or hoping like the devil) that others have forgotten what they said the first time.

And when you dare to call them out on their BS, they will throw a real monster of a tantrum. Moreover, they will attack you to try and shut you up.

9. The craving for admiration

Bullies are in constant need of praise. They expect people to uplift their egos and put them on a pedestal.

Bullies are simply hate-filled individuals who put on a farce of being good, upstanding people to win admiration, and with it, raw power.

Causes of Bullying:

In Closing

When you learn the tactics of these ego-driven creeps, only then will you be able to take back your power and send them packing!

So, I want you to know that if you ever find yourself in this kind of predicament, know that you did nothing wrong. Also, realize that it isn’t about you.

It’s about your bullies, their insecurities, and their own shattered egos. They are the ones with the issues. You, on the other hand, are a winner, and you are on the side of truth and right. Always remember that! So, stay confident and keep winning!

This post is all about the causes of bullying so that you will feel more confident just knowing that you don’t have to resort to your bullies’ kind of behavior to get through life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims? Here are Your Answers.

2. Jealousy and Bullying: 7 Proven Signs Your Bullies are Jealous

3. Confident Body Language: 11 Ways to Look Confident

Life Lessons from Bullying: 16 Powerful Takeaways to Remember

June 28, 2025June 24, 202511 Comments

‘Want to know all the life lessons from bullying? Here are all the morals of your bullying story that you need to know about.

To endure bullying is the fight of your life. Though it’s painful, even excruciating, there are lessons you learn from it.

In this post, you will learn all the life lessons from bullying that you can take.

Once you learn all about these important lessons, you will feel much better about yourself. Moreover, you will look back one day and be glad you kept going when you wanted to give up.

This post is all about the life lessons from bullying to give you the strength to push forward instead of quitting.

Life Lessons from Bullying

I know it’s tough. But keep pushing on! Don’t quit! Don’t give up! I promise you that it will all be worth it in the end.

Here are all the takeaways from being a victim of bullying.

1. You learn that Sometimes you must live with what you hate before you can move on to what you love.

In other words, you must weather the storm before you can see sunlight. Why? It’s only when you’ve been through hell, you learn to appreciate heaven so much more.

Although your mind keeps telling you that there’s something wrong with you, know that there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s not your fault.

I know you want so badly to fix it, but you don’t know what’s broken.

You may think that you must be doing something to rub these people the wrong way. You aren’t. And if you listen to your heart, it will tell you differently.

Your heart will tell you that you did nothing wrong. Also, it will tell you that the bullies who bully you don’t like themselves and that they’re putting all that negative energy off on you.

This war between your mind and your heart leaves you exhausted. But, no matter how bad things get, don’t lose that small glimmer of hope in your eyes.

Although you carry an enormous amount of pain, you’re still holding on, taking it one day at a time. Keep it up.

Please love yourself. Continue to forge your path despite how others may treat you.

2. Life Lessons from Bullying:

You learn to Never hate those who bully you.

You can never repay hate with hate. Therefore, please don’t hate your bullies. Instead, feel sorry for them- take pity on them.

Hate only eats you up and rots out your very soul. It does nothing to your bullies. It only hurts you. There’s dignity in being hated.

Therefore, in your hate, you give your bullies dignity they don’t deserve. Feeling pity for them is so much better because there’s no dignity in pity.

3. You learn that Bullies fight demons of their own.

Their lives aren’t as perfect as they let on. Believe it or not, your bullies are hurting too. They have mental problems of their own that they never confessed to or got help for.

Only they’ll never in this lifetime tell you about it. Understand that they’re only keeping up appearances, which is such hard work.

Moreover, they’re angry at you because you don’t have to work as hard as they do.

If you’re being bullied at school, a lot of your bullies are indeed spoiled and coddled. However, many of them are abused at home. Some have parents who are into prostitution or drugs and alcohol, and who fight.

Also, many bullies are dirt poor, surviving on welfare and ashamed of it. Many of those you go to school with have home lives you couldn’t imagine! And school is their happy place.

Therefore, they’re only taking all their pain and frustrations out on you.

Looking back on my own experiences, I realize that my home life was better than most kids my age. I’m thankful for that. My home was a sanctuary compared to those of most of the other kids.

4. Life Lessons from Bullying:

You learn that You’re stronger than you realize.

You don’t yet realize how strong, brave, and resilient you are. But you are, just for the fact that you haven’t dropped out of school like so many of your classmates. You haven’t quit the race! You haven’t given up on life!

Even though others will bombard you with a barrage of attacks once you pass through the school entrance, you manage to find the courage to get up every morning and go to school. And you do it scared!

So, who are the weak ones now?

5. You learn that Most of your bullies will only end up miserable later on.

They may have favor with most of the teachers, even the ones who have little hope for you. However, most of them will never leave this town. This is a small town- only a dot on the map.

And, in a small town, it doesn’t take long to maximize one’s potential.

You may feel so small and insignificant. However, each of your classmates feels the same way.

The only way they can feel big and powerful is to make you feel bad. And one day, you’re going to see just how they end up.

Only a few will make it. The rest will be living in loveless and abusive marriages. Many will be poor and wondering how they’ll pay the rent. Some will join gangs or begin slinging dope.

Several will immerse themselves in drugs and alcohol to cope with their failures in life. Also, a good portion of them will end up behind bars. And many will have kids who disrespect and hurt them.

6. Life Lessons from Bullying:

You learn that Most of your bullies will never learn to love themselves.

Instead of letting love come from within, they’ll look outside of themselves for it.

Most of your classmates will be on a desperate and never-ending search for love. They’ll go through numerous divorces and broken relationships.

They’ll never learn to fall in love with themselves and with life first.

Instead, they’ll be on an endless quest for happiness. And they’ll never realize that happiness comes from within themselves.

7. You learn that Your bullies see you as a threat.

You must realize that you’re a major threat to your bullies. Do you know why? It’s because you’re smart.

You’re smart enough to see right through them, and they know it. They also hate it. Why? Because they’re afraid that you’re exposing the bullying and letting all their skeletons out of the closet.

Why do you think they shout you down and tell you to “shut up” every time you start to open your mouth? Why do you think they scream at you when you answer a teacher’s question in class?

And, why do you think they tell you to sit down every time you get out of your seat to sharpen a pencil or turn in homework?

It’s because they’re very much afraid that you’ll upstage them somehow. So, they keep you afraid to open your mouth or be noticed.

You’re also talented. And your classmates know it, and they’re jealous of it.

They hate it when you display your talents. Again, understand that they’re afraid that you just might outshine them.

You have so much potential. You just don’t know it yet. Why? Because your bullies have programmed you to think that you’re no good and will never amount to anything.

8. Life lessons from Bullying:

You learn that The Bullying you suffer is only temporary.

Life won’t always be this way. Bullies won’t always bully you. They won’t always be in your life.

Trust me. There will come a day when others will accept you. They will no longer just tolerate you but celebrate you.

You will have friends one day. Not fake ones, but real friends who’ll love you for all that you are and the beauty you bring to this world.

Also, you’ll have the courage to walk away from toxic people who are no good for you. And you won’t be afraid to stand alone until better people find you.

9. You learn to read people.

You learn to recognize threatening body language and facial expressions very quickly.

Being bullied will make you a very accurate people reader. If there’s anyone who will teach you the level of evil human beings are capable of, it’s bullies.

Once you’ve suffered the vicious onslaught of bullying for long, your people senses sharpen tremendously. This allows you to more accurately pick up on body language, facial expressions, tonality, and the hidden emotions/intentions of others around you.

Even better, you learn to read those split-second flashes or micro-expressions most others miss. Why? Because it becomes key to your survival!

This is only natural. An example would be a person who has lost their sight. We’ve heard stories of people who have suddenly gone blind. The same people reported that the other four senses automatically sharpened to compensate for the lost ability to see.

This is a natural survival mechanism of the body. It is the same when someone is bullied.

A victim of bullying is in a constant state of being threatened, both physically and psychologically. To survive, the person’s “sixth sense” and the ability to read non-verbal communication heightens to near perfection.

Again, this is only the brain’s and body’s way of protecting them. Understand that what compels a person to hone certain powers is always…ALWAYS necessity.

In other words, if our survival depends on how well we read the emotions, moods, and intentions of those around us, we will find a way to tap into that power. And we will learn it forward, backwards, upside down, and sideways!

10. Life Lessons from Bullying:

You learn that The bullying you suffer sharpens your BS detector.

The bullying you suffer now will turn you into a radar for bullshit. Bullying is never good, but it does have its payoffs for victims later.

You won’t see the benefits until after the bullying is over and you’ve healed. However, I can tell you that a bullied past has its positive takeaways.

And one of them is a fine-tuned ability to smell bullshit from a mile away. Being a target of bullies has ways of giving you an almost psychic ability to see through people.

Moreover, you can detect true motives and intentions. Having dealt with bullies allows you to observe a large group of people, then spot and pick out the fakes and troublemakers.

And you can do it at lightning speed and with accuracy. You don’t have to say a word. All you do is stand back and watch.

Think of it this way. A person who loses his sight experiences a much keener sense of hearing. Therefore, it’s the same concept with survivors and targets of bullying.

A victim of bullying quickly grows the ability to read people like a newspaper. Why? Out of sheer necessity. Many bullying survivors can read body language like an FBI agent, deciphering the tiniest of micro-expressions.

One can even pick up on the vibes others put out…especially negative ones. When a certain skill is mandatory for survival, nature gives you no choice but to quickly hone that skill.

This is a gift. However, it comes at a heavy price.

11. Life lessons from Bullying:

You learn that your safety is your responsibility.

If you’re a victim of bullying, can you truly rely on people in authority to help you? Can you rely on them to do something about the bullying you suffer?

Moreover, can you depend on them to hold your bullies accountable for their horrible behavior? Can you rely on others to bring you justice?

The answer is a resounding NO!

Life is but a vapor, and we only get one chance in this world. Therefore, it’s your responsibility to make that chance count.

If bullies make a derogatory statement to you. It’s your responsibility to counter that statement. So, start today by countering every negative statement your bullies may throw at you.

Tell yourself that you are awesome. Also, tell yourself that you’re a trooper and you deserve much better than the shit people have been giving you.

Only you have control over your life. Therefore, isn’t it time that you got pissed and took your life back?

Why not become a force to be reckoned with? Stand up to these confidence thieves! Let them know that they have no control over your life. Reclaim your power and do it NOW!

Only you have the responsibility to defend yourself from bullying. Your safety is on you!

12. Life Lessons from Bullying:

You learn that No one else is coming to rescue you.

No one is coming to save you from bullying. Not your teachers, your principal, your supervisors, or managers! Moreover, neither the police nor the government is coming to rescue you either.

Again, it’s your responsibility to stand up to your bullies.

It’s up to you to report your bullies. And if that doesn’t work, it’s up to you to defend yourself against them.

13. You learn that Governments can’t legislate bullying out of Bullies.

In other words, you cannot pass laws against it and think that it will go away. Passing laws against bullying will get a lot of innocent victims of it in trouble.

I used to be all about laws against bullying. And yes, the idea sounds great. I won’t pretend it doesn’t.

However, I’m beginning to gravitate away from making bullying a crime. Why? Because most people aren’t going to protect targets until it happens to them or one of theirs.

Here’s another reason I’m gravitating away from making bullying a crime. It’s because most seasoned bullies are believable liars.

They have a flair for flipping the script and painting their victims as the bad guys. Therefore, if lawmakers make bullying an imprisonable crime, many innocent targets would end up behind bars.

If you’re a victim of bullying, you must learn to take care of yourself.

14. Life Lessons from Bullying:

You learn that Anti-Bullying policies aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on.

You cannot rely too much on policies. Why? Because they have no teeth!

Schools and workplaces can write all the anti-bullying rules and policies they want. However, until they enforce those policies, they’re cheap. As cheap as the ink and paper that administrators use to make them!

What good are laws and policies if these entities don’t enforce them? And, at what point do we stop relying on the system to protect us and start protecting ourselves?

Understand that, no matter what anyone says, you don’t have to put up with anyone else’s crap. Therefore, it’s up to you to stand up to bullies and do it properly.

And if defending yourself doesn’t work, you have the option to remove yourself from the situation and environment.

15. You learn that bullies will keep bullying you unless you stand up for yourself.

Too many victims have been conditioned to think that self-defense is wrong. It isn’t!

And those who condition these victims to think this way are mostly bullies themselves. Therefore, if bullies select you for bullying, you must stand up for yourself. And you do it by setting boundaries!

Also, you must know your enemies. How you do this is to do a lot of study and research on bullies. Then, you can use the knowledge you gain to outmaneuver them.

16. Life Lessons from Bullying:

You learn to stop caring about what others say or think.

Opinions are just that – opinions! They’re the cheapest commodities on earth! Therefore, you shouldn’t give much value to them.

For someone to offend you, you must first value their opinion. And, to value someone’s opinion, you must also value them. So, stop giving undue value to ignorant people. They damn sure haven’t earned it!

The value you give to an opinion depends on the person giving it and your relationship to them. Put simply, the value of your loving mother’s opinion holds much more value than that of some jerk at work!

In Conclusion

Bullying is painful as hell. No doubt about it. However, if you look for the lessons it can teach you, you will come out on the other side, a winner!

This post was all about the life lessons from bullying so that you can more easily overcome it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. 5 Things to Never Do with a Bully

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Opinions are Not Facts: 7 Reasons Those of Bullies Don’t Matter

Why Bullies are Such Good Liars: 9 Ways They Deceive

June 17, 2025July 24, 20257 Comments

‘Want to know why bullies are such good liars? Here are all the reasons they make their lies look like the truth and what you can do.

As any victim of bullying knows, bullies are expert liars. If you’re a target of bullying, have you ever wondered why? Moreover, have you ever wondered how they do it?

In this post, you will learn why bullies are such good liars. Also, you will learn exactly how they successfully deceive others so that you can call it out.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will know the exact ways bullies lie so successfully. Even better, you will be able to recognize it when they do it so that you can peg them on their BS and weaponize it to protect yourself.

This post is all about why bullies are such good liars so that you can have your bullies’ number and use it to bust them.

Why Bullies are Such Good Liars

The reason why bullies are pros at lying is because they rarely tell boldface lies. Instead, they embellish on the truth. They may also take away from the truth.

‘You see? Boldface lies are too easy to find out. Therefore, all bullies need is a tiny grain of truth. Then, they can make their lies more believable.

So, what do bullies do to make their lies so convincing?

1. They Exaggerate.

They’re the kinds of deception bullies love to practice. Bullies understand, perhaps more than anyone else, that a pure lie isn’t likely to be believed. It would only discredit them.

However, if they tell a half-truth, which is a lie that contains even a tiny grain of truth, people will more than likely believe it.

When a bully exaggerates facts, they blow them up and make it bigger than what it is. For example, a bully will provoke you and keep provoking you until you get fed up.

In a low but angry growl, you tell the bully to buzz off. The bully will then tell everyone else about the altercation, making sure to stretch the truth.

The bully will then exaggerate what happened by telling others that you screamed and cursed them out. Also, they’ll make sure to leave out the part where they kept provoking you until you got tired of their crap and told them to buzz off.

2. Why Bullies are Such Good Liars:

They Distort facts.

The bully may even distort the truth. They may do this by saying that you told them to f*** off when they know that you told them to buzz off.

Distortions are also perfect for bullies because, like exaggerations, there’s always a degree of truth to them.

Here’s another example. Your bully supervisor tells you to do a task. You haven’t yet completed the first task and you must finish it in the next thirty minutes to meet the deadline.

You tell the bully boss that you’ll get started on it as soon as you’re finished with the current task. The bully boss goes to management and distorts everything.

He exaggerates your response by telling management that you refused to do the task. Therefore, he tells them that you’re being insubordinate

Moreover, he conveniently leaves out that you told him that you would fulfill his request as soon as you got done with the task at hand. As a result, management reprimands you and gives you a write-up for insubordination, not knowing the whole story.

This is how exaggerations and distortions work.

Therefore, it’s important that you know how to name lies like this. Why? Because, when you can put a name on them, you sound so much better to your listener. You can better communicate what the bullies are doing without rambling.

3. Why Bullies are Such Good Liars:

They take things out of context.

Bullies are experts at taking things out of context. They can twist it and spin it to fit their narrative.

For example, an author writes a tell-all book about the abuse she suffered. One of her former abusers buys it and reads it.

The abuser comes to the part where two more of the author’s abusers die in a tragic accident. The other two happen to be the reader’s friends.

In the book, the author also admits that, when the two abusers died, she didn’t give a damn. And the author sees the deaths as two less monsters she’d have to deal with.

However, she does mention that her feelings about the deaths have changed in the years since the accident.

The reader is outraged at what she reads. So, she takes it out of context. Therefore, she tells the rest of her friends about the book, leaving out the part in the book where the author wrote that she no longer felt glad the two abusers were dead.

Instead, she tells everyone that the author still feels happy the two people are dead. In fact, she makes it sound as if the author celebrates it now.

And she tells them not to read the book because it will only upset them.

However, here’s the real reason she tells others not to read it. It’s because she’s afraid that if they read the book, they’ll figure out her lie.

Therefore, bullies love taking things out of context because, nine times out of ten, it works like a charm!

4. Why Bullies are Such Good Liars:

They Use Confabulations.

Many times, your bullies will blow up on you for absolutely no reason. Later, when others question them about the blow-up, they can’t remember why they lost their temper.

So, your bullies conveniently drum up fake memories to fill in the blanks. But, know the reason behind this. They do it in order to sound plausible instead of ridiculous.

When bullies confabulate, they do it to feel sane. And the way they feel sane is to insert these made-up stories. I’ve seen this happen many times.

In fact, many of my bullies justified themselves to others by using the same method. Here’s another thing about confabulations.

People can mistake them for real memories. Therefore, when bullies confabulate a justifiable reason for their appalling behavior, they believe themselves.

So, is it any wonder that most abusers appear to be telling the truth when they justify and rationalize away their abusive actions? When a person believes their own lies, others are more likely to believe them too. It’s a fact.

This is another reason bullies are talented liars.

5. Why Bullies are Such Good Liars:

Confirmation Bias.

People will believe what they want to believe. And no amount of solid evidence will convince them if they refuse to believe it.

Sadly, the only way confirmation bias has anything to do with truth is when it matches the belief. Therefore, if the truth doesn’t match the person’s beliefs, chances are they’ll only deny it.

Moreover, they’ll and elsewhere for evidence that contradicts it.

Your bullies will do the same when it comes to you. To justify and explain away their cruelty, they’ll find proof that supports their opinions of you.

For instance, bullies abuse you and they get caught. Later they have to stand tall before a member of authority to answer for their abuse.

Searching for information that fits

So, the bullies tell the person in authority that there’s a good reason why they beat you up. They make up some cockamamie excuse for their brutality.

In other words, they find ways to blame you. They may say that you instigated the fight by starting a rumor that could cost them their reputations. And they just had to teach you a lesson.

This is what confirmation bias is- it’s the tendency to recall, interpret, and favor information in a way that confirms a pre-existing belief.

Think about it. The media does this all the time. A witness may pull out their phone and film something terrible that is happening right before their eyes. They then send it to a news station to be broadcasted.

When the news media gets a hold of the film, they will edit out anything that doesn’t fit their beliefs. And they’ll only show the bits and pieces of the film that best fits the story they wish to put out.

If they get an audio recording, they will also edit it and create soundbites, only broadcasting fragments of the recording that best fits the story they want to tell the public.

It’s all the same.

6. Why Bullies are Such Good Liars:

They use Charm

We all know that bullies are cowards who hide behind a facade of charm and charisma. But what makes that facade?

What are the exact ingredients that make up the bully’s fake charm?

Understand that bullies are like peacocks. They like to strut around and fan out their tails, showing you their prettiest colors.

They do this to collect admirers, followers, and allies. That’s exactly what the bully’s fake charm means to do, draw others to them.

Also, this is how bullies dupe everyone into thinking that they’re perfect and can’t be touched. Only you know what’s behind the facades. Victims are always aware of the real people behind the masks bullies don.

7. They build carefully crafted images.

Impeccable Attire.

Most seasoned and well-practiced bullies dress in the best and latest fashions. These people love to be pleasing to the eyes. Why? Because they understand that most people are materialistic and beauty-obsessed, and everything is based on appearances.

So, they wear the fanciest clothes, the trendiest hairstyles, the best makeup, etc.

They show these things off to give the appearance that they’re rolling in money. Also, they want to give the impression that their life is perfect to impress others. Most of all, bullies also do it to one-up others!

And here’s something else! Many of my bullies didn’t have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out. Not that being poor makes a person bad, but!

Why Bullies are Such Good Liars:

Many bullies go broke just to keep up appearances.

Most bullies will go flat broke buying fancy clothes and sporty cars to pimp around town in. And they’ll do it just to keep up a fake persona.

However, they’ll be up to their eyeballs in debt. Many of them have a hard time paying their bills. They’re the types who will run to mommy and daddy for bailouts and handouts.

And it’s all because they spend a fortune on clothes, hairstyles, manicures, pedicures, facials, cosmetic surgeries, you name it!

As a result, many workplace bullies who commit crimes such as theft, embezzlement, and forgery. Why? Because they live way beyond their means and got their butts in a crack they can’t get out of.

And they eventually get caught!

8. They put on a good show.

Seasoned bullies are also the best showmen. They put on an act to gain admiration, support, or sympathy. They make grand gestures.

They’re good at reading everyone else and finding out their likes and dislikes and how they react to certain stimuli. They make themselves aware of the people and moods around them, then adapt to them.

You’ll often find these bullies standing in the very center of the rooms they’re in. Moreover, they’re the types who despise being outshone, outsmarted, or outdone.

9. Why Bullies are Such Good Liars:

They’re master wordsmiths.

They use clichés, euphemisms, and loaded words to impress others with their speech. Moreover, they use big words to prove how smart they are when, in reality, they’re as incompetent as they come.

They also tell others what they want to hear. This is why they’re such convincing liars and why they’re so good at making you look like the bad guy.

But here’s something else you need to know.

Although seasoned bullies are very popular among people, they’re also hated and feared by rivals and enemies. And they do eventually get brought down. I’ve seen it happen many times.

Julius Caesar was one such example.

“Caesar had his Brutus and Charles I, his Cromwell…” – Patrick Henry.

In Closing

Bullies are fake. Period. Full stop! And, they have been for so long that they’ve become experts at fooling people. In fact, it’s how they gain power.

And it’s how they’re able to pass themselves off as fake friends to unsuspecting victims.

It’s also why they get away with much of their bullying.

Therefore, learn all the tools they use and you’ll be onto them. I promise you!

This post is all about why bullies are such good liars so that you can know how they do it and see behind the fake masks they wear.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How Bullies Gain Power: 9 Astonishing Ways They Do It.

2. Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying? 15 Must-Know Answers

3. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You

Male vs Female Bullying

June 15, 2025June 18, 20259 Comments

‘Want to know the differences in male vs female bullying? Here are all the contrasts you need to know about.

Males and females bully differently. Moreover, there are differences between bullied males and females.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the differences of male vs female bullying so that you’ll better understand ways that members of each sex bully. You will also learn the difference between male and female victims.

Once you learn all about these distinctions, you will know how to protect yourself from both male and female bullies.

This post is all about the distinctions of male vs female bullying so that you’ll recognize these differences and know how to defend yourself in every bullying situation.

Male vs Female Bullying

female bullies

Female bullies can be the most vicious. Why? Because they seem to be better at going undetected than male bullies.

Granted, there are always exceptions to this rule. However, for the most part, this is true. Male bullies lean more toward outward physical bullying. Females, on the other hand, lean more toward psychological and social or relational bullying.

In other words, females are mostly passive-aggressive with their bullying. However, there is a moral decline in today’s young girls and women. Therefore, physical assaults perpetrated by females are increasing at an alarming rate.

Females bully by Dividing and Conquering. They try to ruin their victims’ relationships.

Girls and women also use smear campaigns. They spread gossip and rumors. Moreover, they go on witch hunts.

But, make no mistake! These tactics are all designed to turn everyone against their victims. Their goal is to isolate their victim.

Female bullies also use projection. Put another way, they project all their shortcomings onto the their victims.

Bullies do have flaws and their greatest fear is having them exposed. Therefore, projection is one of the best ways to keep their own imperfections hidden.

These bullies will also use distraction. How do they do this? By distracting others’ attention away from their own behavior and pointing out the negative qualities in their targets.

Male vs Female Bullying:

Psychological v/s Physical Bullying

Girls and some boys, use psychological warfare. Psychological bullying includes exclusion, dirty looks, taunts, insults, rumors and lies. Moreover, destroying friendships and relationships also counts as psychological bullying.

Also, it can include thievery, invasion of the victim’s privacy and destruction of their property.

If this does not work, females may resort to violence but not as often as male bullies. If girl bullies want to cause bodily harm to their target, they’ll send someone else to do their violence for them.

Female bullies may send a male friend to beat up their victim. Or, they may send a bigger and tougher female friend. The minions will then catch the target alone and physically assault them.

Now, you may wonder how they get these minions to comply. Here’s how.

Bullies get their flying monkey’s to comply by offering incentives. For instance, girls may offer illicit sex to a male friend to get them to do what they want.

On the other hand, they may offer a tougher female friend inclusion into their particular clique. With that, they give them the chance to climb up the social ladder.

They may also offer money.

By instinct, females are nurturers. Nature has hardwired girls and women toward maintaining relationships whether they be familial, friendships, or romantic.

Many young girls plan to eventually get married and have families of their own.

Therefore, female bullies will sabotage their victim’s relationships. Most girls and women, from the time they are small, dream of one day finding a mate and having children.

Why? Because they have an instinct to nurture. They are more likely to be the caretakers of the family and home.

Male vs Female Bullying:

Covert vs Overt Bullying

Therefore, female bullies are notorious for calling their targets names that attack the feminine virtues. They call their female victims names like ‘whore’, ‘slut’, ‘tramp’, ‘floosy’ and skank.

Moreover, anytime a young lady is called one of these names, there is an even deeper meaning behind it. Here’s the hidden meaning.

If you are a female victim of these vicious bitches, they call you these names to imply that you aren’t marriageable. In other words, you aren’t worthy of a mate or children. And you are not considered to be a woman.

A female bully wants to brainwash you. This is the reason her attacks are so vicious and repetitive. She wants to convince you that you are worthless.

And she will stop at nothing to make you believe it!

Additionally, she knows that if she can make you believe the lies, there is a strong chance that you will live up to them. We are what we believe.

Therefore, she will try to drum it into your head. And if she does, she will succeed in breaking your spirit. Then, you’ll likely prove her right.

Females aren’t always the weaker sex.

Again, get this straight. Female bullies want you to live up to the names they call you. In other words, if they call you a whore, they want you to be one.

So don’t live up to it! Show her up! However, she will not give up so easily.

Girls tend to hang on to their hatred to the point of obsession. The bullying becomes a ritual. And when you stand up to a bullying woman, don’t expect things to get better.

Male vs Female Bullying:

Male bullies

Nature has hardwired most males to be hunters and gatherers. Therefore, guys tend to be more physical. And why not?

During prehistoric times, males had to hunt and bring food home to feed their families. Often, they had to fight off wild animals and human males of other groups in order to survive.

Although there are exceptions, males are more likely to use physical aggression. Therefore, most young men are expected to be strong and tough – to display manhood.

If a victim of bullying is another male, the boy bully will likely use his fists. Moreover, he’ll try to feminize the other boy by repetitively emasculating him.

Emasculation of Male Targets

Male bullies often bully other males. They call their victims names like, “sissy”, “pussy”, “bitch” and other names which attack the male pride. Their goal is to cause them to feel less like men. Therefore, they’ll try to strip the victim of his manhood.

And if the male target speaks out against the treatment, the male bully will trivialize it by referring to the target as a “whiner” and tell him to “man up.”

Other males may see the victim as going against “man-code” if he dares to report the bullying.

And male bullies who are physically violent usually beat up on males and females. However, there are a few cowards who’ll never stand up against another guy. They only beat up on girls.

I knew a few of those types of boys in school.

Male vs Female Bullying:

The Difference between Bullied Boys and Bullied Girls

I’m female and have discussed bullying mainly from a female perspective. However, I would like to help you distinguish between the plights of bullied girls and bullied boys.

What usually happens to female victims?

After her peers have bullied her for so long, she feels alone in the world. Also, when she reports the bullying, others usually rebuff her.

It’s bad enough when school staff ignore her pleas, but when members of her own family refuse to listen to her, it’s twice as painful. Once this happens, she begins to feel that no one cares about her.

What Bullied Girls Experience

Bullies shame female victims for their looks, femininity, and virtues. They call them names that attack them as women.

People will use their weight and their appearance as a weapon to cause harm. Even sadder is the reality that if their self-esteem is low enough, some live up to the names bullies call them.

Consequently, some bullied girls turn to sexual and dating partners to get the love and approval they’re missing out on. This usually doesn’t end well.

Male vs Female Bullying:

What Bullied Boys Experience

Bullied boys have it much worse. Many don’t have partners to fall back on because girls expect them to be tough. When a boy is bullied, he isn’t seen as macho. Instead, others see him as a wimp.

Also, people consider it “un-macho” for a boy to report being bullied. Others may tell him to “suck it up.” Why? Because it goes against the male code of conduct.

This can also erode male self-esteem.

Male Targets Have the Highest Rates of Suicide

Once bullies have stripped a young man of his manhood, it becomes next to impossible for him to get a date and find love. Although the suicide rate among females has skyrocketed, It remains to be much higher in males.

Therefore, no matter what, we must encourage bullied males to speak out and report bullying. We must also encourage them to seek therapy.

Males must also have older males in their lives to remind them of their worth as men. These older men must also re-enforce those positive messages.

We must also encourage females to speak out and get help, as well. Moreover, they must also have older female role models who lift them up.

These role models must instill in them that they are beautiful even if others try to bully them and tear them down. In short, they must teach them to know their worth!

And finally, they must see themselves as targets, not victims.

This post was all about male vs female bullying so that you know the differences in the ways they bully.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters

2. Catty Women: 5 Powerful Ways to Deal with Their Bullying

3. Know Your Worth As a Woman: 5 Rules to Live by

Bullying Journal: 8 Reasons You Should Keep One

June 7, 2025June 18, 20258 Comments

‘Want to know the importance of a bullying journal and why you should keep one? Here are all the reasons you should keep a journal of the attacks if you suffer bullying.

If you’re a victim of bullying, it can have long-term, devastating effects on your life. Sadly, school officials, corporate managers, parents and even law enforcement still can’t fully comprehend the daily torment victims endure.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why it’s crucial that you keep a daily bullying journal and document everything.

Once you learn all about the reasons for keeping one, you will be more proactive in ensuring your safety.

This post is all about the importance of keeping a bullying journal so that you can do your own investigation and build your own case against your bullies.

Bullying Journal

Journals are one of the best ways for you to get evidence of bullying.

Moreover, you especially need one if the bullying becomes physical and you need medical attention. Therefore, here are all the reasons this documentation is important to have.

1. Bullying is Hard to Prove.

Bullies are experts at acting charming and polite in front of other people. However, they do this to hide their bad behavior. This is why people often don’t believe you when you report the bullying.

In fact, they may blame you. They may ask what you did to make the bully attack you.

Why? Because the bully will only rationalize and explain away their bad behavior. Moreover, they’ll make it sound like you asked for it.

‘You see? Bullies are very convincing liars. They’re experts at turning others against you. Thus, you should always keep written documentation of their abuse.

Here’s another reason bullying is so difficult to prove.

Bullies often disguise their behavior as harmless jokes and teasing. Therefore, people in authority probably won’t take it very seriously when you report it.

They’ll just think that you’re too sensitive and need to lighten up.

2. Reasons to Keep a Bullying Journal:

Bullies are experts at making you look like the bad guy.

This goes back to number one. However, it bears repeating. Bullies can charm the panties off a nun. Here are ways they charm people in authority and make their lies sound so believable.

Many bullies use good looks and impeccable dressing to impress others. In this, they use the halo effect, to their advantage. The Halo Effect is a phenomenon where those who look the best are the most trusted and respected by others.

Also, bullies will use your emotions against you. Let’s face it, being bullied can turn you into an emotional mess. Therefore, if you react to bullying with intense anger or crying, bullies will put on a calm and collected demeanor.

As a result, you’ll come off looking unhinged. And people in authority will take the bullies’ word over yourself. Why? Because of the calm, cool front they put up.

Moreover, while looking calm, they’ll point out your emotional reaction and twist it to convince everyone that you’re unstable.

Bullies will also play the victim and burst into tears to gain sympathy from other people.

Seasoned bullies are master wordsmiths. They can spin a story that is so convincing that teachers and supervisors will find it hard not to believe it.

2. Reasons to Keep a Bullying Journal:

Most Schools and Workplaces Protect Bullies.

If your bullies are high performers, they’re able to impress teachers, principals, and supervisors. Therefore, it’s likely that reporting them won’t help

In fact, it might make things worse.

Understand that schools and workplaces look out for their own interests. Therefore, if your bullies impress them or make them look good, you’re screwed.

It’s not uncommon for schools or workplaces to cover up incidences of bullying. The reasons they do this is to protect their precious reputations.

Moreover, they may like the bullies, a lot! So, they’ll hide bullying to protect them as well. There are countless stories of schools retaliating against bullied kids for opening their mouths.

For example, the school might contact Child Protective Services and send them to their homes to break up their families.

Remember that school officials, mainly school board members, are elected officials.

3. IT Gives You Evidence to present in court or tribunals.

The school or company may tell you that they’ll investigate the bullying. However, they either won’t do it at all or they’ll do a sloppy investigation.

Also, here’s another thing you need to think about. Any investigations they conduct will be geared toward keeping their own asses out of hot water, not to protect you.

Therefore, you must be your own detective and build your own case. Keeping a bullying journal is one of the ways you can do this.

In fact, journals are the best way you can gather evidence of bullying.

4. Reasons to Keep a Bullying Journal:

It Establishes a pattern of the bullying events.

To establish a pattern, you must write in your journal every day. Even if you have days when the bullies leave you alone, which will probably be rare, write those days down too.

This will prove how often these people bully you and will provide prove of that if the bullying is severe and ritualistic.

5. Documenting the bulling gives you a voice.

In other words, it gives you equal say when no one else listens to you. By documenting the abuse, you can tell your side without being ignored or having their experiences trivialized by the bully or anyone else.

Journals cannot trivialize your experiences. Moreover, they can’t invalidate your suffering in any way. Journals are also confidential. Therefore, they’re the safest.

If you’ve tried telling a staff member how people bully you, only for them to silence or blame you, you owe it to yourself to document the harassment in your daily journal.

In short, if you can’t talk about it, write about it! It will probably be the only outlet you have.

6. Your story will be more credible.

Writing your bullying journal is a clear, legible, and organized manner helps you to keep your story straight. Therefore, you’ll look more credible to anyone who’s in a position to help you.

When you’re emotional from all the bullying you suffer, you’re more likely to forget important parts of what happened.

Also, emotions may cause you to ramble when you explain what’s been happening. And, the last thing you want to do is start rambling when you’re trying to report bullying.

The reason for this is that high emotions block your ability to think straight. But if you have your journal, you’ll be more likely to stay calm and tell the entire story.

7. Reasons to Keep a Bullying Journal:

It’s Admissible in Court.

Keeping a journal gives you a legal record of the bullying. Therefore, In case the bully hurts you badly enough to send you to the hospital, you’ll have your journal to present to law enforcement.

Moreover, if you have to go to court, you can use the journal as evidence of bullying.

8. It’s good therapy for you.

Keeping a journal is cathartic and therapeutic. It allows you to express the emotions you can’t show any other way.

What to do and what NOT to Do When You Journal

When you document bullying in your journal, you must think about the quality of the information. Here’s what not to do when documenting in your bullying journal.

1. Don’t be Vague.

Write down everything in detail. Record the what, who, when, where, why, and how. Also, avoid using subjective language. And never write down your conclusions of the bullying that’s been happening.

Examples of vague statements include,

She made me feel humiliated.
He embarrassed me in front of everyone.
He physically assaulted me.
They isolated me from everyone.

Focus on what happened and the bullying behaviors you encountered, not what you feel! For example, what do the bullies do? What did they say to you? Write down your bullies’ exact words, complete with quotation marks.

For instance, if a bully got in your face and slapped you, include that in your journal. Those are the bullying behaviors you need to describe. If they yelled at you, cursed you out, and threatened you, write that down too. Be sure to write down exactly what they said to you.

2. Reasons to Keep a Bullying Journal:

Do Stick to the facts.

In other words, avoid any primal responses. Keep the inflammatory language to a bare minimum. Now’s not the time for emotional writing. Just share what they did to you in the tiniest details possible.

3. Use the 5W Rule (what, who, when, where, why, and sometimes How).

Again, write down what happened in full detail. Also, record the names of those present when the attack took place. Write down the names of bullies, bystanders, teachers, EVERYONE!

Record the time, date and place the altercation occurred. Do this with every incident that takes place. Leave nothing out!

Even if the attacks are minor, you must still record it in your journal. For example, if the confrontation is verbal, write it down.

Why? Because verbal aggression often precedes a physical one.

In Closing:

I can’t stress this enough! Keeping a journal can be the difference between people listening to you or blowing you off.

Therefore, keep very detailed records of any taunts, threats and altercations no matter how small they may seem.

Also, write everything down while it’s fresh in your mind. The last thing you want to do is procrastinate and end up forgetting a few important details.

Write your daily journal in secret. This should go without saying. You wouldn’t want anyone to see it.

Bullies are known to destroy property and rummage through your belongings. Therefore, keep your journal in a safe place. If you worry about the wrong people finding it and snooping through it, keep your journal at home.

But write in it as soon as you get home, while your memory of the days events are still fresh. The sooner you record, the better.

Keeping a bullying journal is crucial when people bully you. Don’t depend on anyone else to do an investigation for you. Do your own. Gather your own evidence.

Build your own case. It could save your life.

This post is all about why you should keep a daily bullying journal so that you can gather your own evidence and build a rock solid case against your bullies and the people in power who allow them to abuse you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Document Bullying: 5 Things to Record in Your Journal

2. Bullying Evidence: 5 Smart Ways to Get Evidence of Bullying

3. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

when bullying gets out of control at school

When Bullying Gets Out of Control: 5 Signs You’re in Danger

June 5, 2025June 18, 20255 Comments

‘What happens when bullying gets out of control? Here are all the signs that you’re in danger.

When bullying reaches new levels, it can feel as if the abuse has taken on a life of it’s own. This is when things become dangerous really fast.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what to look for when bullying gets out of control.

Once you learn all about these signs and symptoms, you will be compelled to make the appropriate decisions to get out of the situation.

This post is all about what happens when bullying gets out of control so that you can take the necessary steps to ensure your safety.

When Bullying Gets Out of Control

When bullies select a victim to abuse, their bullying tends to escalate quickly. Moreover, it can last for years. In fact, others may join in. After so long, people grow comfortable with abusing you. Therefore, bullying becomes a natural occurrence.

When this happens, bullying can become unstoppable no matter what you do to defend yourself. Moreover, things can become dangerous, even life-threatening if you aren’t aware of the signs.

Here are all the signs that the bullying you suffer has reached dangerous levels.

1. Your Bullies Become Brazen

You’ll notice that your bullies getting cocky. They’ll do their bullying out in the open, for everyone to see.

In fact, they’ll no longer try to hide it. Why? Because they fear no consequences.

Those in positions of power won’t stop the bullying. They have no intentions of protecting you. Therefore, there’s little chance they’ll hold the bullies responsible for their behavior.

Make no mistake! When your bullies bully you in plain sight, in front of peers and authority, it’s a bad sign.

It means that you’re in grave danger. Why? Because, when the abuse reaches this level, there’s no limit to the brutality your bullies will inflict.

When bullying gets out of control, there’s no incentive to stop. Then Bullies quickly become full of themselves.

It’s the same with criminals. When there’s no accountability for wrongdoing, it only emboldens them to do more of it.

And their arrogance only sends these unspoken messages:

“We can do whatever we want and there’s nothing you can do.”
“Who’s going to stop us?”
“Who’s going to help you. You’re ours now.”

Most bullies would stop if they thought someone would hold them accountable. Or, they’d at least try to hide their behavior.

No one wants to have to answer for anything. Moreover, they don’t want the shame and humiliation that comes with it.

Therefore, they either wouldn’t do the bad deeds at all, or they would do their dirt behind closed doors.

Lack of accountability only emboldens bad people.

On the other hand, once a bully has gotten away with it a few times, they catch on that there are no consequences. They get the message that what they’re doing is okay.

Therefore, they have no shame in continuing the behavior.

And once there’s complete impunity, it’s no holds barred. In other words, your bullies are unrestrained in what they could do to you.

So, if you’re a target of bullying, you’re shit out of luck.

it sets a precedent.

It sets a bad standard for people who wouldn’t normally mistreat another person. In that, it encourages them to jump on the bandwagon and bully you too.

Why? Because bystanders notice the bullies getting away with abusing you. Therefore, they’ll think it’s okay to bully you. In fact, they’ll think that it’s the in-thing to do. So, they’ll be more than happy to join in on the torment.

It’s the science of group behavior.

2. When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

Others become Outraged when you stand up for yourself.

When you defend yourself against a bully’s attacks or demands, bullies will often retaliate. Anytime you stand up to bullies, they will often try to get back at you for it. Even bystanders will be pissed at you.

In fact, they either won’t help you or they join in.

Why do bullies become angry when you defend yourself? Because you put them in a weaker position and threaten their power.

Understand that bullies are entitled little twits. They need gratification and satisfaction, and when you refuse to give it to them, they will resent you and desire to punish you for it.

Moreover, it will offend others as well.

Why? Because, once bullying you has become the norm, it’s gone on for a long time. People have grown comfortable with seeing bullies abuse you.

And once people get comfortable with something, they resist anyone that tries to change it.

3. People Believe anything bad about you, no matter how ridiculous the lie may sound.

If you suffer bullying, you’ve probably had bullies tell the most outrageous and ridiculous lies about you. Moreover, the lies may be laughable at best.

And shockingly, everyone in the place will probably believe it! It will seem as if everyone around you is smoking crack.

Why? Because you’ll wonder how they can believe such tripe!

People will believe the big, outlandish lies before they accept the little white lies. For example, others might hear something huge and horrible about a certain person from someone they trust.

Maybe it comes from someone who has a little bit of power. They may feel shock and disbelief at first. However, they’ll eventually believe it.

But, why do they believe it? It’s because the penalty for severe wrongdoing is so big that people don’t want to think that anyone would tell such a big fat lie about someone if there isn’t some truth to it.

When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

IF someone is audacious enough to tell such a bold lie, we’re more likely to believe it.

We cling to the belief that if a person is audacious enough to make such an accusation about another person, then somewhere, there must be evidence to back it up.

Otherwise, they wouldn’t dare make such bold accusations and risk someone proving them wrong!

So, we hold on to the idea that where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Moreover, we allow caution and speculation to supersede any logic. And if we expect trouble to come from a specific place, that’s where we’re going to look.

And when we look for a specific thing, we usually find it.

Also, if a lie goes against the target’s character, we’re more likely to believe it. Why? Because any story of hypocrisy has a certain amount of shock value and entertainment to it. That is, as long as the story is about someone else and not us.

We’re more prone to believe a big fat lie because it frightens the crap out of us. Therefore, when people hear a lie so big and outrageous about you, it makes them wonder if they ever really knew you at all.

And the idea that someone they know could do such a horrible thing scares people to death.

4. You will be emotional and people will weaponize it.

Understand that anytime you suffer bullying, you’re at your absolute worst! Anyone would be a total emotional wreck under that kind of pressure.

Anytime a person is bullied by everyone, it doesn’t matter how strong they are. Moreover, it doesn’t matter how brave, how beautiful, nor how awesome their personalities are.

The bullying will eventually exhaust them and take them down.

In other words, if enough people bully you for long enough, you’ll only be able to withstand it for so long. Why? Because you’re only human. And no human being can hold up under that kind of stress for long.

Bullies instinctively know this. Therefore, if they’re determined to break you, they’ll increase the abuse until they get the outcome they want.

You will be overwhelmed with so many emotions. In fact, you’ll have paranoia. And, with good reason!

Therefore, they’ll twist it and make you look unstable.

And, why not? They’ve seen you morph from a cheerful person to a stressed out, hot mess of a train wreck who’s barely able to function.

5. When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

No One Will Help you.

If you’re a kid that other kids bully in school, you know that schools are supposed to protect children. Moreover, some schools do help targets of bullying.

I’ve read quite a few stories with this happy ending. And to those schools, I extend my love and respect.

However, I’ve also read and heard stories in which the school either failed or refused to help the victim. They only sided with the bullies.

I also found this out years ago from experience. Sadly, this ending is much more common than the first.

Therefore, if you are an object of bullying at your school, do take the proper channels to address the problem. Report the bullying to the teacher, principal, or district.

However, if the school does nothing about it, sweeps it under the rug, or worse, blames you, don’t let it surprise you. And don’t let it shock you if you face retaliation not only from the bullies but from school staff as well.

In most cases, schools side with bullies.

Understand that in these cases where the school doesn’t act on your behalf, it is because the school district has their own interests in mind.

Many schools only care about their sports programs. They care about how many points an athlete can score for their team and getting their teams into the playoffs.

Also, they care about how many kids they can send to colleges.

Another thing to consider is that school bullies likely have connections with several local politicians and other high-ranking officials. Also, many bullies excel academically.

Or, they may be are star athletes. Therefore, they make the school look good.

And if a student makes a school look good, why would they hold them accountable for bullying some throw-away kid?

Seasoned bullies also tend to be exceptionally socially intelligent. In other words, they know how to ingratiate themselves into the good graces of teachers and school staff.

Moreover, they’re also wordsmiths who talk a good game. They’re experts at feigning victimhood when you report them. They’re also good at explaining everything away, and rationalizing their bad behavior.

What they’re best at is making you look like the bully. Therefore, you must thing of these things when the school fails to respond to your pleas for help.

This is why you must do your own investigations and gather your own evidence. You must document each bullying incident to the letter and record it if the laws in your area allow.

But don’t give up. Remember. You are worth fighting for!

This post is all about what happens when bullying gets out of control and how to recognize it so that you can can the appropriate steps needed to ensure your safety.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Stop Victim Blaming: 8 Reasons People Blame Targets for Bullying

2. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

3. Bystanders to Bullying: 5 Reasons They Join In.

4. Deliberate Indifference: 7 Reasons Bystanders Won’t Help Victims

The Impacts of Bullying: 10 Negative Outcomes on Victims

June 2, 2025July 22, 20256 Comments

‘Want to know the impacts of bullying on your life? Here are all the negative outcomes you’ll face if you aren’t careful.

It’s true that bullying undermines your confidence. However, the impacts go much deeper.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the impacts of bullying that you probably haven’t thought about and other reasons it’s important that you protect yourself against bullies.

Once you learn all the deeper issues it causes, you will be more compelled to guard your mental health against bullies.

This post is all about the impacts of bullying and all the deeper issues it causes so that you can beware and be aware.

The Impacts of Bullying

Although bullying can crush your self-esteem and instill fear into you. The consequence go much deeper. It can actually rewire your brain, therefore brainwashing you in nefarious ways.

Here are all the other negative things bullying does to your mental health.

1. Bullying Conditions You to accept Bigger and More Severe Abuses.

Bullies start with subtle attacks. In fact, the assaults are so subtle that if you don’t watch out, you won’t even notice it. This is called gradualism and incrementalism.

In other words, bullies begin by taking teeny-weeny bites out of your self-esteem. It happens drop by drop. They take it up ever so slowly, step by itsy-bitsy step.

Again, they escalate their bullying so slowly and so tiny that it isn’t noticeable. However, you may feel that something is off when you interact with these people.

You may notice that something doesn’t feel too good but you can’t quite put a finger on it. It’s that subtle!

But here’s your first clue.

The Impacts of Bullying:

Your body will know if you pay attention to it.

When you meet your bullies for the first time, you will pick up some pretty creepy vibes from them. Moreover, you’ll feel it in the pit of your stomach.

You’ll sense something about these creeps that feels “off.” And sometimes, you’ll feel it before the first words are exchanged.

You’ll sense your bullies watching your every move. They’ll scope you out, studying you like a specimen.

You may look up from whatever you’re doing or turn around and happen to see them of the corner of your eye. These people will be eyeing you from a distance.

Then you,ll see them look at each other and smirk. And you’ll notice that eerie twinkle in their eyes. You might even see a micro-flash or two of contempt.

Don’t ignore this!

Understand that these bullies are sizing you up. In other words, they’re probing you to see how you respond.

If you respond the way they want you too, your bullies will start committing slightly bigger violations. Understand that bullies do this deliberately. They do it to soften you up by making the abuse virtually unrecognizable.

They will continue to take the abuse up little by little until it’s no longer unrecognizable.

By the time it’s recognizable, the abuse may be so severe that everyone around you sees it too. When you begin defending yourself, your bullies and everyone else will likely gaslight you.

Moreover, the bullying will be so out of control that the bullies can no longer help themselves. In fact, they won’t even try to hide it anymore.

At this point, why would they hide it?

Why put in the work to hide something you’ve gotten away with for so long? When there’s no incentive to stop, they can bully you out in the open. Right?

By the time the abuse becomes obvious, it’s usually too late. Why? Because everyone has grown accustomed to bullying you. In fact, they’ve gotten completely comfortable with it.

And once people have grown accustomed to harming you, it’s almost impossible to get them to leave you alone. And this goes no matter what you do to protect yourself.

Therefore, when you finally get fed up and begin asserting your boundaries, they’ll only ignore you and keep right on abusing you. Through their actions, they’ll implicitly communicate that they don’t give a damn about your feelings or your pain.

Your bullies and everyone else will only see you as their victim. And they’ll damn well make sure you to stay that way.

2. The Impacts of Bullying:

People grow comfortable bullying and abusing you.

And why not? They’ve been getting a huge, psychological payoff from it. And hell will freeze over before they give up those benefits.

At this stage, your bullies will only respond with anger and resentment when you finally stand up to them. They will be like, “How DARE you! How dare you take away our fun!”

Therefore, bullies get offended when someone they deem inferior finally grows a spine. And they’ll do everything they can to break it! All to keep getting their sick, sadistic jollies!

Again, the conditioning starts small. You must know how to recognize bullying when it first begins. Why? Because, the longer it goes on, the bigger the abuses get.

Moreover, the harder it is for you to defend yourself and put a stop to it.

Again, to recognize bullying in the early stages, you must listen to your body. Why? Because your body will feel it. You’ll sense it in the vibes bullies put out. So, pay attention!

3. It Diminishes Your Ability to Trust Yourself.

Why? Because bullies constantly attack your judgement, decisions, and feelings. Moreover, bystanders may also negate and condemn them.

Therefore, when people bully you, they teach you that, you have no right to be angry or sad because you deserve the abuse. And bullies are experts at blaming you for the bullying you suffer.

The impacts of bullying run much deeper than you realize.

4. The Impacts of bullying:

It forces you to take blame for the abuse.

You may be conditioned by bullies and bystanders. Moreover, people in authority, friends, and family may also condition you.

They may demand that you suck it up and negate your own painful feelings. In that, they’ll train you to deny that they’re abusing you.

Your bullies and their minions will train you to believe that other people’s vile behavior is your fault. Also, they’ll try to make you believe that something is wrong with you.

They’ll make statements, such as, “If you weren’t such a troublemaker, people wouldn’t mess with you all the time!” Your bullies will also snooker you into thinking that everything that goes wrong is because of you.

In short, your bullies will claim that their abuse is somehow justified.

5. You withdraw from people.

As a result, you may withdraw. Why? Because you’ll fear attracting bullies and bullying behavior from the people around you.

Bullies will make you believe:

That you take things wrong.
You’re too sensitive.
That you had it coming.
That there’s something wrong with the way you are.
There’s something wrong with the way you express yourself.
There’s something wrong with the way you come across to people.

6. The Impacts of Bullying:

You stop believing in yourself.

In short, you stop believing in yourself. Even worse, you lose trust in yourself. You begin doubting your abilities, and capabilities. And once this happens, you become a perfect victim for more bullies.

Bullying doesn’t only attack your physical body, but also your psyche and emotional well-being. It breaks your spirit and your very soul. Therefore, the impacts of it can be devastating!

Being a target of bullying is a hell that no one who hasn’t been there can possibly comprehend. When you’re bullied, you’re in the fight of your life.

Moreover, you fight for your life!

Fighting for your life can mean fighting for your personal power and dignity. It can mean fighting to keep your confidence and self-esteem. Also, it can mean making sure the abuse doesn’t affect your performance at school or work.

You’re fighting to make sure that it doesn’t negatively impact your ability to make smart decisions and life-choices. And you’re fighting to maintain your health and your sanity. Ultimately, you’re fighting to keep the abuse from effecting your entire future.

Why? Because you know that if you allow them to break you, you give them power over your life. You may not end up dead, but you won’t really live. You’ll only exist.

7. Bullying Negatively Affects Your School or Work Performance.

Bullying puts you in survival mode. This can have a devastating effect on grades and performance.

Anytime you are a victim of bullying, bullies forcibly put you on constant alert for an attack. It’s as if you have a target on your back and you must grow eyes in the back of your head.

You become hyper-vigilant. This only breeds anxiety and leads to exhaustion. Not only is your body tire, but also your mind.

When you need to focus on survival, safety takes priority over school lessons and work performance. How can one concentrate when they’re constantly bombarded with threats, taunts, name-calling, and physical violence?

How can a person work or learn effectively when they’re stuck in fight-or-flight mode? It’s almost impossible!

When you’re in survival mode over a long period of time, the overabundance of cortisol will cause your memory to atrophy. Moreover, it will effect your emotional regulation and ability to maintain positive relationships.

Therefore, should it be any wonder that the majority of victims of bullying have such poor school grades and work performance?

8. The impacts of Bullying:

It causes learned helplessness.

After people have berated you for so long, you begin to believe it yourself. And because it shows up in your every day performance, you simply stop trying altogether.

In conclusion, bullying can impact ALL areas of your life.

9. It Stunts Your Social Development.

Although social intelligence won’t necessarily keep you from becoming a target of bullying, it will most certainly lessen your chances of it.

Social intelligence always has and always will supersede book-smarts. It will get you much further than college degrees, awards, and credentials alone.

It’s the reason high school dropouts have become millionaires. It is also why many college graduates have ended up flipping burgers at McDonald’s.

Social intelligence is THE most important quality you can have. It’s the highest paid skill and most important asset in the entire universe.

Luckily, Social Intelligence can be taught!

In the past, people thought that social intelligence was the one skill that could never be taught. They believed that you were either born with it, or you weren’t. And if you weren’t, it was something that you had to accept.

Thankfully, we now know differently.

Sadly, if you’re a target of bullying, the abuse you suffer can batter your self-esteem into oblivion. As a result, you withdraw from the rest of the world.

When you’ve been bullied for so long, you come to believe that you’re inferior to everyone else. You’re afraid to talk, afraid to mix and mingle, afraid of any social situations.

10. The impacts of bullying:

You create a fantasy world to live in.

In other words, you retreat into yourself and live inside your own head. You create a fantasy world, where you feel safe, wanted, and loved.

In other words, you create a world of imaginary people who accept you.

As a result, you shut out the “real world” and live in this fantasy world- this safe haven you’ve created. However, this is not good because, when this happens, you stop watching people and the world around you.

Also, you stop learning the social graces and nuances that you need to know in order to nurture relationships. And, before you know it, you become socially awkward.

You become too quiet, shy, and reserved. Moreover, you look through people instead of at them.

Instead of smiling and saying hello, you pass others by without saying a word to them.

Also, you become sullen and spaced out instead of upbeat and engaging. You feel numb instead of the emotions you should feel at different times.

In Closing:

This is why it’s important that you make a conscious effort to save your self-esteem. How you do it is to keep your heart open.

Therefore, meet new people and make friends outside the bullying environment. Create positive interactions and experiences away from your bullies or anyone else who knows you from the toxic place.

Do what you must do to keep your self-esteem intact and continue to grow your social intelligence.

No matter what happens, stay strong. Hold on as much of your confidence as possible. And most of all, know that none of the bullying you suffer has anything to do with you.

Let me assure you. There are people out there who care. Keep the faith, keep believing in yourself, and stand strong!

This post is all about the impacts of bullying so that you know what to watch for and begin taking care of your self-esteem.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

2. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

How to Deal with Bullies: 7 Do’s and Don’ts You Need to Know

May 10, 2025April 30, 20252 Comments

‘Want to know how to deal with bullies? There’s a right way and a wrong way to handle them. Here are the 7 do’s and don’ts you need to be aware of.

Bullies have all kinds of tactics in their bag of tricks. They have tactics you probably haven’t thought about yet. Moreover, there’s a wrong and right way to deal with them.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to deal with bullies. You will learn the wrong and right ways to handle them so that you know what measures to avoid and which to use.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be better able to make yourself less a target and handle bullies wisely.

This post is all about how to deal with bullies so that you can take care of yourself in any bullying situation.

How to Deal with Bullies

In order to better know the right ways to handle bullying, you must first know what ways to avoid. Here are the wrong ways of dealing with bullying that you need to know.

The Don’ts:

1. Don’t Ask them, “Why”.

Why? Because they will never tell you why they treat you so inhumanely. Understand that keeping you guessing is half the power bullies have over you.

Bullies are notorious for withholding information. In fact, withholding information is a silent bullying tactic all it’s own. Therefore, they’ll never tell you why they bully you.

In some cases, the bullies, themselves, don’t really know why. However, if they did, they probably wouldn’t tell you the truth.

So, why won’t they tell you the reasons they mistreat you?

Simple. It’s to keep you confused and bewildered. Keeping you befuddled is a power all its own. Because when you’re confused, you can’t think clearly.

And if you can’t think clearly, the less likely you are to figure out what to do to escape the bullies and their abuse. Or worse- how to defend yourself, conquer your bullies, and win your power back.

Keeping you confused is a huge chunk of the power bullies have over you.

Understand that bullies will never relinquish their power. Never! And to be truthful as to why they bully you would be like giving secrets to the enemy.

To be honest and tell you what they hate about you would be like giving their power away to you, and they’ll be damned if they ever!

I want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with you. You must know in your heart that you never did anything to deserve the brutal treatment your bullies continuously dish out to you.

They are the messed up ones. They are the ones with the problem. Moreover, they are the ones who will have to answer for what they’re doing one day, either in this life or the next.

Therefore, instead of focusing your attention on trying to find out why your bullies are giving you problems, focus on self-care.

Instead of asking, “Why me?” ask, “What can I do to take care of myself?” or “What can I do to remove myself from the situation?”

Think about what options you have and weigh each of them carefully. Then quietly begin making plans to get out of there as soon and as safely as possible.

2. How to Deal with Bullies:

Don’t give them any apology. Ever!

For anything!

Why? Because bullies will only see your apologies as weakness. And you can never appease a bully. Realize that when you apologize to a bully, you’re taking responsibility for things that aren’t your fault.

And when you give bullies apologies that are undeserved, you take accountability for their deplorable behavior. Furthermore, you’re giving your bullies exactly what they want and they know it.

Bullies and abusers will try to force you to apologize for something you know isn’t your fault. In other words, they’ll try to make you sorry for things that are beyond your control.

Moreover, they’ll even try and make you apologize for something that doesn’t need an apology. Therefore, respond but don’t apologize.

In other words, don’t say, “I’m sorry,” or “I apologize.”

Here are ways you can respond to bullies who pull this crap. And these are very powerful responses. When you use these, you respond to these bullies without accepting blame. You also respond with strength and power.

You’ll get over it.
You’ll be alright.
By the end of the day, this won’t even matter.
It’s no big deal.
This isn’t a crisis. Everything’s going to be okay.

3. How to Deal with Bullies:

Don’t explain anything to them.

When having a conversation with bullies and abusers, they will often try to trick you into explaining yourself to them. This is a trap because, no matter how you much explaining you do, they’ll never accept anything you have to say.

It doesn’t matter how logical your explanation may be, bullies will only pretend that they don’t understand. They’ll only keep challenging and criticizing your explanations just to get you to give even more of them.

Know that they do this on purpose.

You must see this tactic for what it is and what it’s meant to do. It’s all designed to throw you off balance. Moreover, bullies want to keep you running in an endless hamster wheel of explanations and justifications.

Therefore, the important thing to bear in mind is that this is a trick! Bullies really don’t need an explanation from you. In fact, they don’t even want one.

They only pretend to want it. What your bullies really want is to bamboozle you and keep you interacting with them.

Why? Because the longer your bullies can keep you engaging with them, the more chances they have to twist the things you say. Then, they can use them as proverbial bullets to fire back at you later.

Therefore, don’t explain a damn thing to them. You must realize that you don’t own them any explanations. You don’t owe them squat!

How to Deal with Bullies:

Do’s

1. Do stand up to them.

You must stand up to bullies. Never ignore them and never handle them with diplomacy or politeness.

Remember that bullies don’t respond to politeness, diplomacy, or pleasantries. They only respond to strength and power. Therefore, you must communicate to them in the only language they understand.

In other words, you must respond with strength and power! And sometimes that means being brutal!

For instance, physical bullies only understand the language of fists. So, you must be prepared to put up your fists and fight if necessary!

2. Gather your own evidence of bullying.

If you’re a victim of bullying, it’s crucial that you get evidence of it. Keep a daily journal and document the bullying, using the 5W Method.

Also, save any electronic evidence of cyberbullying. Why? Because if they bully you at school or work, they’ll probably find you online and bully you there as well.

Therefore, save any mean and threatening texts, emails, social media posts, and private messages on three or more flash drives.

Furthermore, depending on the laws in your state, you may be able to wear a body cam or record the bullying on a digital audio recorder.

And save any medical records and doctor’s reports if you ever need medical attention because of a physical bully.

3. How to Deal with Bullies:

Report the bullying to authorities.

Report the bullying to the principal, human resources, or the police. If the bullying is happening at work, fill out a grievance form. They also have bullying forms at school that you can fill out.

If all else fails, report the bullying to the police and get a restraining order. They may not do anything. However, the idea is to establish a paper trail.

And be sure to get copies of the paperwork. If there are reports on file and copies of them in your possession, you will establish evidence of a pattern of bullying.

This is a must in case you have to take it to court later.

Here’s another thing I want to mention. When you report bullying, schools and workplaces may try to assure you that they’ll do an internal investigation.

However, most of them don’t. And if they do conduct an investigation, it’s usually a sloppy one. This is why you must quietly do your own investigation.

This may require a lot of work on your part. Moreover, you may have to go through many channels. You will need patience because it will take some time.

But when you’re being bullied, you can’t afford to be lazy. Be proactive. Gather your own evidence. Be your own detective. I guarantee you that it will be worth it in the long run!

In Closing:

There are right and wrong ways to handle bullies. However, if you do everything right, you can overcome bullying. And you can emerge a winner!

This post was all about how to deal with bullies so that you can know what to do and what not to do when you encounter bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying

2. Saying Sorry Too Much: 4 Reasons You Do and How to Stop It

3. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond

Bullies Eat Their Own: 3 Reasons Bullies Bully within Their Group

May 9, 2025April 30, 20256 Comments

Would you believe that bullies usually eat their own? ‘Want to know why? Here are all the details you need to know about.

This happens at school and in the workplace. When there’s are no targets available to degrade and dehumanize, bullies will begin turning on one of their own in the peer group.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why bullies eat their own so that you can use it to your advantage.

Once you learn all about this strange phenomenon, you will be more knowledgeable about the mentality of bullies. Also, you will find a way to use it to your advantage.

This post is all about why bullies eat their own so that you can have more knowledge about the mindsets of bullies.

Bullies Eat Their Own

Understand that even the inner circle of the clique has a pecking order. Every clique has a leader, second in command, third and so forth (depending on how many members in the group), all the way down to the bottom rat.

Therefore, if you aren’t available, the members of the clique will turn on that bottom rat and they will be the target of the day.

And if it so happens that the bottom rat’s not available either, then the poor sucker on the second rung up is the one who will catch hell. And so on.

Crap always rolls downhill and lands on whoever is unfortunate enough to be in the basement. Moreover, what was really scandalous is that sometimes, the typical victim didn’t have to be unavailable.

If you pay attention, you can stand back and watched a lot of back-biting between the members of the bully cliques. You’ll notice that a few may go out with the other friends’ boyfriends or girlfriends behind their backs.

You’ll then notice how they smile in their faces at school or work the following Monday. However, stay out of it. Let them backstab each other all they want.

It’s their business and you know that any sane person would no part of such strange, twisted, and dysfunctional friendships.

Bullies Eat Their Own:

Sometimes, not being a part of “the clique” is a blessing!

You should consider yourself damn lucky not to be in with the cool crowd!

Why? Because, with them it’s back to back ego trips. While most targets, followers, and wannabes consider it a curse, you should consider it a blessing.

You can deal with not being in the in-crowd, that’s fine and dandy. The only thing you should have an issue with is when none of those creeps will leave you alone.

When they won’t go on about their business, and get a life, you should realize that it’s because of their own issues.

Bullying is all about power!

Remember that bullies must always have a victim. In other words, they must have someone to abuse.

Bullies need a person to look down on, to dump on, and to tell what to do and ride roughshod over. Therefore, if their usual targets aren’t available on any given day, the bullies at the top will turn on the lowest members of their own group and continue demeaning them until their regular targets return.

This is yet another reason why you should never accept being in one of the in-cliques. Must you be in one to feel validated? No.

You’re just as awesome without them. You’re also freer! Because if you’re not in a clique, you don’t have to live up to anyone’s unwritten rules or standards. Therefore, you’re free to be yourself and do your own thing. And there is nothing better!

Why Bullies Eat Their Own

Bullies can’t live without a power rush. Therefore, again, they want to have a target or a victim. In fact, they need targets. To feel almighty and powerful, bullies must have people to dominate and subjugate.

And having power over is extremely addictive to them. It’s like a drug. It’s why bullies repeatedly bully their targets over a a long period of time, years even.

Because that “drug” wears off rather quickly and it won’t be long before your bullies come back for their next “fix.”

However, what happens when you finally realize who your bullies really are behind the tough facades they put up? What happens when the masks fall off, and your bullies’ cowardice and insecurity come to light?

Oooo! This is beginning to sound delicious, isn’t it?

Here’s what happens. Once you see the real people behind the masks, your confidence will get a big boost. You’ll realize that you aren’t and never were the one with the issues.

In this, you will find that it was the bullies who had the issues all along. Then, you will finally have the courage to give the bullies the old proverbial middle finger and tell them all to go eat a fat one.

The Sudden Power Shift

Moreover, the power dynamic will take a sudden shift and the scales will automatically tip in your favor. In other words, you will no longer be a victim. Remember that the best way to dis-empower bullies is to empower yourself.

Because, once you stop being a victim, bullies no longer have power over you. Therefore, they must go search for another victim.

When these bullies spot several potential victims, they’ll test the waters by performing several tests on these “potentials.” They will test these potential targets by watching them closely and launching subtle attacks and insults just to see how they react.

However, what will the bullies do next, when things don’t go quite the way they expect? What happens when their potentials also give them the double middle finger?

Uh-oh, now they can’t find someone they can target! Curses! Now, what’s a poor bully to do? Simple. They begin eating their own. In other words, they turn on a member of their in-group.

That’s right! Once the bullying in-group runs out of targets on the outside, they have no choice but to turn their bullying inward and start bullying people within their group.

Remember that bullies need a target victim. They need someone to dominate and subjugate to have power because they can’t get power any other way.

Without someone to ride roughshod over, to tell what to do, and to exert control over, bullies feel powerless. And you know what? They are!

Bullies Eat Their Own:

Here are 3 reasons bullies bully within their in-group.

1. Power Struggle.

Bullies will fight like hell to be on top. And if that means bullying members of their own group to do it, don’t think they won’t.

It’s human nature. Everybody wants to be on top. And if they can’t, they’ll do everything they can to stay off the bottom.

Therefore, the top two or three bullies may do things to each other to get on top. Or they may take turns bullying the bottom rats to compete with one another on who’s the toughest.

2. Their primary victim isn’t available.

When their usual victim is no longer available, bullies must search far and wide to find a replacement. In other words, when a victim finally leaves the toxic environment, it puts bullies right back to square one.

Therefore, again, they must find someone else to be their victim. And if they can’t find one, they’ll turn on one of the members of their in-group.

Understand that once a victim leaves, the bullies’ power goes with them. Without power, bullies don’t know what to do with themselves.

Here’s another thing to note. Bullies often become very angry when their target victim transfers or moves away. Why? You may wonder.

Again, it’s because they lose power over you. Understand that, bullies have a sick, twisted obsession with their victims. Therefore, if bullies have grown comfortable with jerking you around and you up and leave, the game is over. They lose power over you.

You’re out of their reach and they can’t handle it.

It’s why abusive partners won’t let their victims leave. Once the abused partner is gone, so is the power the abuser had over them. It’s the same with bullies.

And it’s the reason the thought of you leaving terrifies them.

3. Bullies Eat Their Own:

The victim pool is sparse or has shrunken.

I’ve said it many times before. Bullies don’t only want victims. They need them! Therefore, if the victim pool is non-existent, they will create victims for themselves. And this usually requires that they select someone in their friend group.

Once the selected victim leaves, it basically turns the entire environment on it’s ear. People will begin turning on each other and there will be a lot of in-fighting.

So, see this for what it is. Bullying is an obsession. It’s all about having power over someone else.

This post is all about the reasons bullies eat their own to give you another reason to feel good if you’re a victim of bullying and finally decide to get the hell out of dodge.

1. What Do Bullies Fear Most? 10 Things that Terrify Bullies

2. Social Bullying Examples: 7 Reasons Bullies Destroy Relationships

3. How to Deal with Physical Bullies

Preserving Your Personhood when Bullied

May 6, 2025April 22, 20254 Comments

‘Want to know all about preserving your personhood when bullied? Here are all the ways you can keep your humanity intact when people bully you.

Being bullied and being stuck with unnecessary labels can very easily cause a person to self-doubt. It causes one not to believe in themselves and in their own abilities.

Moreover, it can also enable that person to trust their own innate intuition if they let it. It blinds you to people who are true. And it completely zaps your sense of who’s for real and who’s fake. Therefore, it causes the loss of ability to avoid dangerous people.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the importance of preserving your personhood when being bullied.

Once you know all about this important information, you will be better able to guard your mental health against bullying so that you can come through it as strong as possible.

This post is all about preserving your personhood when bullied so that you can come through it with as little damage as possible.

Preserving Your Personhood When Bullied

Bullying is a form of brainwashing. It is repeated, repetitious, and occurs over a long period of time. Moreover, it reprograms your mind and convinces you that you’re nothing.

It eventually blinds you to your own worth as a person and to your own beauty. Also, it blinds you to your own intelligence.

It zaps you of your trust in your own abilities and decisions. You fear that anything you say and do will be wrong. Therefore, you keep your talents and gifts hidden from the world because you fear ridicule.

Self-doubt keeps you paralyzed. You hide your true, awesome self. However, by trying to hide your authenticity from others, you unwittingly push yourself down and make foolish decisions.

Therefore, you must avoid this at all costs.

Here’s how you keep your personhood when people bullying you.

1. Stop Caring what people think of you.

Here are questions you need to ponder. Does it really matter what these creeps think of you? Have any of them reached your level? Do their opinions matter? Who are they that you should care what they think? Do their opinions have any bearing on your life?

They probably don’t. So, stop caring about their opinion of you. Opinions are a dime a dozen and they don’t matter. Moreover, your bullies don’t know you on a personal level.

The weight you give to anyone’s opinion should always depend on who holds it and and the relationship you have with them. In other words, the value you give their opinion depends on who they are and how close you are to them.

Therefore, realize that not everyone’s thoughts or opinions are relevant. Anything they say to or about you means squat.

In order for someone to offend you must first value their opinions. And that means, you must first value them. Stop giving your bullies value they haven’t earned!

Realize that your bullies’ hatred only came from a place of ignorance and stupidity. Or, it could stem from bitterness, jealousy or insecurity.

Therefore, take it with a grain of salt. Only value the opinions of God and your closest family members and friends.

When you stop caring what bullies think of you, you stop valuing their opinions. In that, you stop giving bullies value and consideration they haven’t earned. And ultimately, you stop giving them power.

2. Preserving Your Personhood When Bullied:

Be Yourself.

Continue to be yourself. No matter how others may treat you, always take steps to keep your authenticity.

If you have any talents or gifts, display them with pride. Do things that you enjoy and spend extra time with those who love you and lift you up.

You will be surprised at how great you will feel about yourself. Therefore, bullying will have less of an impact on your self-esteem.

Never lose yourself because of a bully.

3. Have the courage to be disliked.

In other words, do your thing even when others don’t like it. Again, be yourself and stand up for your beliefs and convictions.

Have your own preferences and make your own choices. Do the things you love to do. And lastly, follow your own dreams and your heart. Do all of these things no matter who does or doesn’t like it.

When people bully and ridicule you, this is the time to double down in being proud of who you are.

4. Preserving Your Personhood When Bullied:

Love yourself even when others hate you.

No matter how viciously others may treat you, it’s imperative that you do everything possible to hold on to self-love. Why? Because loving yourself is the most important thing you can ever do for yourself.

You must command respect and love from others. Sometimes, this means having the courage to make difficult decisions. The decision to get rid of toxic people, even those you care about isn’t easy.

Still, you must love yourself enough to know when it’s time to let go and walk away. And when you do this, you must come to a place where you no longer care even the slightest about the outcome.

You must love yourself before anyone else can love you. Therefore, give yourself compassion and self-care when others mistreat you.

5. Re-Frame Every Insult Your Bullies Throw At You.

For instance, you’re painfully shy and quiet and bullies mistake those characteristics for fear. You can use your silence to be a good listener when someone needs to talk.

Therefore, see it for the gift that it is. It may gain you close friends because the other person will feel that they’re being listened to. Moreover, they’re sense that you care about them. And when you take an interest in someone and in how they feel, who doesn’t love that!

Here’s another example. You have a small mole that bullies make fun of. Remember that Marilyn Monroe also had a mole just above her upper lip. But her mole was referred to as a beauty mark. Therefore, it ended up being her trademark.

This is how you re-frame people’s insults. You turn them around and mold them into compliments.

6. Preserving Your Personhood When Bullied:

Stand up to Bullies.

You may be afraid to stand up to your bullies and that’s completely natural. Anytime you stand up to bullies, you’re taking a risk.

However, it’s often worth the risk in the end. If your bullies keep coming for you, you mustn’t back down. Unless they have a deadly weapon, keep fighting and fighting hard. Realize that no one has the right to abuse you.

Know that you deserve to be safe and to live in peace. And when bullies try to disrupt your peace, you have every right to stand up to them and defend yourself.

If you don’t take care of yourself, no one else will. Therefore, don’t wait for someone to come rescue you because, chances are, it won’t happen. It’s up to you to take a stand. Your life is your responsibility. That means that standing up to bullies is your responsibility.

Continue to stand up for yourself, because you, as much as anyone else, deserve to live in peace.

7. Guard your self-esteem.

This means refusing to allow your bullies to turn you against yourself. No matter what other people may think of you, you are the only one who knows who you truly are.

Bullies are known for spinning smear campaigns to turn others against you. Why? Because it’s the only way they can make their lies and accusations seem valid.

However, no matter how convincing the bullies may be. No matter how many people believe the lies and rumors, it doesn’t mean the talk is true.

Only you can judge who you really are, nobody else can. I know it’s difficult not to question yourself when it seems that others hate you.

Anyone who finds themselves in this situation would ask themselves, “What did I do?” or “What did I say?” It’s only a natural human reaction to being ostracized.

Therefore, it’s difficult not to blame yourself.

But please, for your own self-esteem, do not blame yourself. Remember that the problem lies with the bullies, not with you. You are not responsible for what is happening to you.

Hold on to your sense of self and guard your self-esteem with your life!

8. Preserving Your Personhood When Bullied:

Set Your Boundaries.

Setting boundaries is your responsibility. No one else will do it for you. Therefore, you must set boundaries any time someone steps over them.

I understand that it isn’t easy. In fact, it’s one of the hardest things to do. Especially after people have bullied you for so long.

They may have brainwashed you into thinking that you’re to blame for their brutish behavior. Your bullies may have even conditioned you to take the abuse and allow them to ride roughshod over you. Or, you may even fear for your physical safety.

However, at some point, you will have to make a choice. You either stand up and defend yourself or you keep taking it and spend your entire life with people jerking you around.

Setting boundaries means saying no when a bully demands that you do something you don’t want to do. It also means calling out someone who tries to abuse you.

Always set your boundaries. It may or may not change the person’ s behavior. But you’ll feel good just knowing that you didn’t just take it lying down.

9. Enforce Your Boundaries.

Boundaries mean nothing unless you enforce them.

Enforcing personal boundaries is much riskier than setting them. This is because, when you set boundaries, you’re only letting people know what they are. Therefore, the only risk to you is of someone challenging those boundaries.

On the other hand, enforcing your boundaries means that you impose consequences to anyone arrogant enough to cross them. Therefore, once a bully or abuser steps over your boundaries, then, it’s time to enforce them.

Sometimes, you must fight back if people insist on harming you. Don’t be afraid to do so. Your self-esteem will thank you later.

Also, you’ll preserve your personhood and your individuality, in the process.

THis post was all about preserving your personhood when bullied so that you can not only survive bullying but overcome it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You

2. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

3. Be Happy, Be Yourself