Tag: relational aggression

examples of social bullying

Social Bullying Examples: 7 Reasons Bullies Destroy Relationships

2 Comments

Would you like to know several social bullying examples and the reasons bullies try to turn everyone against you? As someone who’s been affected in the past, I’m giving you all the details about social bullying.

social bullying examples

Social bullying leaves it’s victims stripped of not only friends and supporters, but sometimes family members as well. If this is happening to you, then you’re doing all you can to research this type of bullying. Therefore, I’m giving you all the details and social bullying examples so that you’ll be able to name what is happening to you and protect yourself.

You will learn all the ins and outs of social bullying and what you can do to lessen it’s effects.

Once you learn all the aspects of social bullying, you will be able to call it out by name and defend yourself properly against it from now on.

This post is all about social bullying examples and will give you the tiny details about this insidious type of bullying.

social bullying examples

“Reputation is the cornerstone of power.” – Robert Greene

Social bullies wreck your good standing in a school, workplace, or community by way smear campaigns of lies, rumors, and gossip.

Before we get into the details and examples, let’s first discuss why bullies attack your reputation and relationships. In other words, what do these bullies have to gain from sabotaging your social connections?

What are the psychological payoffs they get from doing this? Here’s are your answers.

Simply put, bullies attack your relationships and reputation to strip you of power. Once they kill your reputation and break apart your relationships, you’re defenseless and extremely vulnerable to attack.

In other words, social bullies turn people against you to isolate you. Understand that isolation weakens your position in the social world and leaves you wide open for attack.

Therefore, bullies can freely attack you from all directions. And they can do it without risk of others coming to your defense and holding the bullies accountable.

When everyone turns against you, they’ll no longer support and protect you. Therefore, you’re at the mercy of virtually anyone who decides to bully you.

Bullies know that if they can poke holes in your reputation, they won’t have to work so hard to bring you down because now, they have public opinion on their side. They can then stand back and watch with glee as widely held perceptions of you finish you off.

First, Bullies Destroy your reputation.

How? By rumors, lies, and defamation.

In the beginning, bullies will plant seeds of doubt about your character in the minds of others. Doubt is a powerful tool.

Next, they spread rumors and lies.

Additionally, bullies are proof that offense is the best defense. Drawing first blood is always best because you can only respond in either one of two ways.

1. You could deny the rumors. Moreover, you could even produce evidence that proves your innocence of the accusations.

2. You could ignore the lies and blow your accusers off with a “whatever” and walk away laughing.

But!

Either way, people will still look at you with suspicion.

Social bullying examples: The mechanics of social bullying

1. If you defend yourself and produce evidence to the contrary, the prevailing thought will be,

“There must be some truth to the rumors, otherwise he wouldn’t be defending himself so vehemently.”

2. If you ignore the lies and wave your accusers away with a laugh, others will be even more suspicious of you. Why? Because they’ll think that you have something to hide and are only playing it cool.

Moreover, social bullies know that if they instigate rumors the right way, there’s a possibility that they can get you enraged and rattled. So much so that while defending yourself, you end up making a truckload of mistakes out of nervousness.

This works even better if you haven’t yet established a reputation. Because the smear campaign will only work all the more in the bullies’ favor. However, even if you do have a good reputation initially, the bullies will most likely destroy it because people tend to think the worst of others.

What happens once bullies have destroyed your good name?

Your damaged reputation meets people before you do.

Consequently, this brings loss of opportunities to meet new people. In other words, you lose the ability to move on with new friends.

When bullies and their followers have unjustly slandered or libeled you, even total strangers will no doubt hear of you. Therefore, there’s a strong chance that, by the time you meet them, they will already have their minds made up about you.

Sadly, this is one feature of bullying that crosses very few people’s minds.

Social bullying examples: invisible enemies

What’s even scarier is that you are left completely defenseless against the attacks of strangers. In other words, when you haven’t the slightest idea who your enemies are, how do you know who to watch out for?

Moreover, how do you know who to avoid? It’s impossible to protect yourself from invisible enemies.

This is often the case once bullies have unjustly used smear campaigns against you. It is a situation which is even more dangers because you are walking blind!

You cannot see the enemy. Someone could walk right up to you on the street, in broad daylight, and you wouldn’t know.  Moreover, they could have a weapon hidden on them and you would never know of their intent to hurt or kill you until it was too late.

It will feel as if you’re fighting ghosts.

For example, we lost the Vietnam War because we didn’t know who the enemy was. We didn’t know exactly who was or wasn’t on our side!

Reputation is the decider of merit.

Your reputation will always decide the credit you get even from actions that are innocent. In other words, two different people can do the exact same thing the exact same way.

And each person’s reputation will decide whether the action is brilliant or terrible.
Put simpler, It’s not what you do. It’s who others perceive you to be when you do it.

It’s not the action itself, but who the person is that does it.

Here’s the rub. A person who’s well-liked and has a stellar reputation can write an essay, and others will deem it a brilliant piece.

But let a person who’s despised by everyone and has a lousy reputation write the exact same essay, and others will only view it as a worthless piece of garbage that’s not even worth reading, which brings us to the final conclusion:

Reputation can affect all areas of your life. It can be the difference between having success or failure- in everything! A bad reputation, regardless of whether you deserve it, sets you up to fail.

 However, there’s hope!

Social bullying examples

Although extremely difficult, you can still salvage your reputation and change your life for the better. Here’s how:

1. Move to a different area.

Sometimes you must go somewhere else and start over again. It may be difficult to leave your family behind. However, if you stay in the community where people judge you unfavorably, you’ll never have the chance to move forward.

You may wonder why this is.

It’s because, sadly, the social bullying has gone on for so long that your reputation in the community has become ironclad. Consequently, there isn’t much you can do to change things once something has gained that kind of strength.

In other words, you’ll always be stuck right where you are. Why not pack your things and leave for greener pastures and better opportunities?

Again, the best you can do to better your life is to move away and get a fresh start in a new town. It will be the only way you will find happiness and stability.

2. Find a good cause to fight for and one you’re passionate about.

Any time you fight for a good cause, you will meet like-minded people who are fighting for the same purpose. You and these people will already have common ground.

The cause could be “The Victim’s Rights Movement,” or even “The Anti-Bullying Movement.” Whatever the cause, you will attract those who are fighting for the same things. And you’ll easily make positive connections with them and become life-long friends.

Although many doors get slammed shut and locked, there’s always a way out if you look for it. I guarantee it!

3. when your friends turn against you because of your bullies’ Lies, have nothing more to do with them.

Anyone who claims to be your friend, then believes the lies of social bullies does not deserve your friendship. Also, they were probably never your friend to begin with.

Therefore, walk away from them and reject them if they come back around. This is how you value yourself. It’s how you protect yourself and treat yourself well.

A true friend would never believe any lies and rumors about you. Moreover, they would have enough respect for you to ask you before making such snap judgements.

This post was all about social bullying examples, the mechanics of social bullying, and what you can do to lessen or alleviate the negative affects of it on your life.

1. Know Your Enemy: 7 Reasons to Gather Intel on Your Bullies

2. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

3. The 4 Stages of Bullying

4. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

5. Choose Your Friends Wisely: 9 Criteria to Judge by

Rumors and Lies Breed False Memories

1 Comment

As rumors and lies circulate, details are included and added to the stories, and these details have a way of being inserted into people’s memories. There have been cases of burglaries where the homeowners “thought they saw” an unarmed burglar with a gun when, in fact, there was no gun.

Understand that in these cases, people don’t lie on purpose. They really and truly believe they saw a gun in the criminal’s hand or his pocket. They actually “remember” seeing it.

And the reason they remember it so plainly is that they’ve heard and talked about it so much their brains filled in the blanks with the details based on what they heard. Another reason for false memories is that when bullies ask questions such as,

“Did you see her do this?”

“Did you hear him say that?”

they only suggest that she did do this, or he did say that- the Power of Suggestion at work.

It’s so easy to influence people’s memories by presenting something in a particular way. Also, the memory will adjust itself according to a person’s stereotypes and expectations. People see what they expect to see.

Too often, people’s memories depend on social expectations- what they expect the target to do and not what he is actually doing.

Understand that memories are mistakable and can be falsified. Sure. And whether accurate or make-believe, once it becomes a memory, there’s no way to tell the difference.

If you’re a target of bullying, I want you to realize that this does happen and that you must make preparations accordingly to protect yourself better.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

7 Statements Bullies Make When They Can’t Come Up with a Good Excuse for Their Rotten Behavior

2 Comments

Any time a bully is asked by others why he/she behaves the way they do toward you; the bully will often come up with something that sounds plausible and makes sense. And let’s face it, we’ve all met people who instantly give us the heebie-jeebies, or whom we were suspicious of, and we didn’t even have to see them do anything for it to raise our alarm bells. The person didn’t even have to speak. He/she may have even been a nice person and very well-behaved, but still, we just didn’t feel good around the person.

Therefore, these explanations are so plausible. Because some people, regardless of whether they’ve done anything wrong, just seem to creep others out and we should always follow our gut instinct.

Closeup portrait of skeptical man looking suspicious, some disgust on his face mixed with disapproval isolated on gray background. Negative human emotions, facial expressions, feelings

But! Because these explanations are so plausible and relatable, they can also be used by bullies to deceive others into shunning or even abusing you. Because if one person makes the statement that a certain individual gives them a bad feeling, and the person saying it happens to be a trusted and highly thought of person, (as many bullies are because of their ability to charm and draw others to them) those listening will automatically think, “Whoa! If so-and-so gives Becky a bad feeling, then what have I been missing here?”

And the others will automatically become suspicious of the person too. Remember that moods, emotions, and behaviors have a highly contagion effect, and tend to spread over a group, community, or population like a brush fire!

1.“She just rubs me the wrong way!”

2. “I just don’t like him.”

3. “I just get a bad feeling about her!”

4. “There’s just something about him that I don’t like!”

5. “She just gives me a bad feeling!”

6. “I just don’t feel good around him!”

7. “Something about her just scares me!”

Positive teenage student boy keeps hands folded, tooth smile imagine himself an angel with fluffy wings behind back and a halo above head. Super power, inner strength and innocence concept.

Here’s the thing. When the bully is highly thought of and well-trusted, the people who like and trust that bully are likely to doubt their own senses and go with the word of the bully- simply because they trust their judgement. Put simpler, they will trust their judgement more than they do their own.

Realize that this evil individual is trying to be slick! There’s a purpose for this and it’s to cast doubt on you in the eyes of others and to provoke suspicion. Nothing more. And all it takes is a seed of doubt to begin a long smear campaign. The best thing to do is to see it for exactly what it is- a smear campaign in the making and watch the bully escalate it from there.

Watch the bully try to “create” bogus stories. She will also create proof to back it up by baiting you into a verbal altercation or fight to get a reaction out of you. Then she can use your normal reaction and spin it to fit her twisted narrative. That’s how this scenario works, so be on the lookout!

If possible, the best thing to do is to avoid this person altogether and save yourself a ton of drama. Remember- out of sight, out of mind.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Why Seasoned Bullies Prefer Psychological/Emotional Bullying

14 Comments

PTSD

Why? Because this type of harassment offers easy deniability.

Unlike the physical kind, Psycho/Emotional bullying is less evident to others outside the bully-victim dynamic because it leaves no visible bruises, cuts, or wounds. Therefore, the target has no proof that any bullying ever took place. The bullies can easily deny any incidences if the victim becomes fed up and either assert themselves or reports the harassment to an authority figure.

Afterward, the bullies can brand the target as mentally unstable, destroy his/her credibility, reputation, and relationships, then retaliate against the victim by continuing and escalating the harassment later.

Remember that the most talented bullies are the biggest cowards and the most successful actors and actresses. They have methods of harassment that are well-planned in advance.

Depression Concept with Word Cloud and a Human being with broken Brain and Heavy Rain

They go to great lengths to prevent themselves from being exposed. They’re incredibly crafty, committing their attacks ever so slowly and subtly, undercover and behind a veil of superficial charm, fake playfulness, and deceit.

These types of bullies are often in the Preppy/Popular crowd at school or in the Good Ole’ Boy Clique at work because of their superior social skills, ability to read people and predict others’ reactions. They have a talent for keeping up appearances.

They are usually well-liked by teachers, school staff, supervisors, managers, and CEOs. They excel in studies, join clubs or sororities/fraternities, and make themselves out to be high performers at work by stealing others’ ideas and work.

Because their popularity and extreme likeability serve as a shield from accountability and add a lot of weight to their lies and deceit, they often get away with bullying others.

If you live in a small town, they likely come from families who have powerful connections, which is all the more reason why they must keep up appearances. Many of these kinds of harassers are highly skilled wordsmiths, which is why they are such good liars and seem to have the right answer or justification for anything.

Bullies of this kind also have followers. They’re too chicken to get their hands dirty, so if they want to cause any physical harm to their target, they will often send one of their sycophants to do it for them, being sure to offer money and social status as possible incentives to get the job done and stay quiet.

But understand that most of their followers don’t like them; they only kiss and cover their butts to get something from them- their approval and the power and social status that comes with it.

Bullies on top of the pecking order will also use their social skills to take advantage of the mentally disabled (kids with Down’s Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, Traumatic Brain Injury, etc.) and the physically disabled (kids with Diabetes, Lupus, heart defects, and food allergies; kids who are paraplegic, etc.).

They also target kids with weight issues (overweight or underweight), those with low self-esteem, or those younger and smaller.

And most of the abuse they dish out to these kids is strictly psychological or emotional because they’re such cowards! Otherwise, they wouldn’t select such vulnerable kids to push around in the first place.

Since you have to go to school or work with these types and there is no way to avoid these types of people or to go no-contact, I want you to see through these self-entitled, self-absorbed, and self-satisfied wimps so that you can learn their weaknesses and expose them for your own protection.

You must get into the minds of these bullies. You must think as they do even though it’s not a pleasant place to properly defend yourself, and I’ll tell you! The souls of such people can be downright ugly!

Sometimes it takes getting just as low, just as sneaky, and just as nasty as your attacker if you ever want to expose them for what they are before they back off.

The more you know, the more you’re prepared, the better you can protect yourself from such people.