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Benefits of Setting Boundaries

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‘Want to know the benefits of setting boundaries? It just may surprise you. If you only knew what those advantages are, you’ll definitely be more motivated to establish limits with others

benefits of setting boundaries

When you set boundaries, you communicate to people what you will and will not tolerate from them. Also, you let them know what consequences they can expect if they violate those boundaries.

Anytime you establish boundaries, chance are that people will understand where your limits are and they’ll likely adapt their behavior. However, people who are human predators won’t acknowledge your boundaries and may even see them as a challenge.

In this post, you will learn all the benefits of setting boundaries. Also, you’ll learn how to deal with people who refuse to respect those limits.

Once you learn about all this essential life-tips, you will be more compelled to set boundaries without fear nor guilt. Moreover, you’ll be brave enough to stand up to those who cross the line.

This post is all about the benefits of setting boundaries and how to enforce those boundaries so that you can live a peaceful life without any disruptions.

The Benefits of Setting Boundaries

So, what are the benefits of setting boundaries?

1. You get to know yourself better.

In other words, you have a greater sense of identity. You won’t be afraid to be yourself.  Moreover, you’ll know who you are and what you want. And there’s so much more that comes with it.

You get to know your likes and dislikes and, more importantly, the things you will and will not tolerate.

When you finally come to know yourself, the level of self-acceptance will be off the charts! You’ll learn to embrace your own thoughts, beliefs and convictions.

In that, you realize that everyone is different and no two people are the same. Therefore, you give yourself permission to also be different. Moreover, you’ll be okay with making mistakes. Let’s face it, we all make those!

This is such sweet freedom!

2. You begin loving yourself more.

The more you love yourself, the least likely you are to put up with anyone’s BS. Moreover, you’ll least likely be afraid to go after what you want.

This could be a great paying job or better relationships.

Also, you’ll be less likely to worry about what others think of you. Why? Because you’ll know that you’re a great person no matter what anyone else says.

Loving yourself means treating yourself well. And how you treat yourself defends on how you let others treat you. Boundaries (or lack of) are the way you teach others how to treat you.

Moreover, they signal to others whether or not you respect yourself. And if you don’t give yourself respect, chances are that no one else will either. Instead, they’ll only use you as a doormat.

Therefore, once you begin setting boundaries, you’ll learn to love and respect yourself more. As a result, others may adjust their attitudes and behavior and begin giving you respect.

Do you know what the best part is? You’ll be willing to drop anyone who sticks so much as a toe over your boundaries. And you’ll do it without guilt.

Therefore, you’ll earn respect not only from yourself but others as well.

3. Benefits of setting boundaries:

You Skyrocket your confidence and self-esteem.

In other words, you’ll like yourself. You’ll also have a better attitude about life and the world around you. Also, self-doubt won’t even be an issue. Instead, you’ll trust yourself to make the right life-choices.

You’ll be confident in your abilities and in your effect on others. In turn, those around you will be more confident in you. The best part is that , you’ll be okay with your flaws and limitations. Therefore, others most likely won’t pay attention to them either.

Moreover, you’ll believe in yourself and know without a doubt that you can get to anywhere you want to go. And if anyone tries to tell you that you can’t do something, you’ll be that much more determined to get it done!

You won’t allow bullies to plant seeds of doubt in your mind.

Instead, you’ll only deep your heels in deeper and double down on your efforts to complete your goals. You’ll use your bullies, haters and naysayers as your rocket fuel! And you’ll put in the work and overcome the obstacles to attain that goal.

When you raise your self-esteem, you won’t fear taking on new challenges and trying new things. In fact, you will be excited to do so!

And lastly, you will know your worth and have a deeper sense of security!

4. You’ll Reduce your stress levels.

Life won’t stress you out as much because you’ll be more relaxed. In other words, you won’t let life’s little annoyances get to you. As a result, you’ll be more successful at solving problems.

In other words, you’ll be able to work through adversity and stare trouble in the face. You’ll even have patience because you’ll be confident that everything will work out eventually.

Social anxiety will be a thing of the past because you will be comfortable in your own skin. Again, this comes from not caring what others think of you.

5. Benefits of Setting Boundaries:

You’ll increase your productivity.

Your productivity will automatically rise because you’ll be able to make time to work on your own goals. You’ll use that time wisely, making every second count.

At the same time, you’ll allow yourself rest periods and avoid overworking yourself. And you’ll put your priorities first, then take care of others.

6. You’ll value your solitude a lot more.

In other words, you won’t be afraid to be alone. Why? Because you’ll understand that being alone doesn’t be being lonely. Instead, you’ll value solitude because you’ll be able to focus on your tasks and get more done.

7. You’ll be able to focus more on your goals.

Again, when you set boundaries, you will accomplish more because you’ll have higher mental focus.

8. You’ll enjoy better relationships.

Why? Because because others will more likely respect your boundaries. Moreover, you won’t be afraid to get rid of those who don’t.

Therefore, you’ll have less bullies, abusers, and users in your life.

And the best part is that you’ll attract even more healthy people into your life. Remember that like attracts like.

9. Benefits of setting boundaries:

You’ll keep your circle small.

In other words, you’ll be satisfied with only a handful of friends. Popularity will no longer matter to you.

To you, quality will matter more than quantity. Therefore, you’ll enjoy relationships that are much more rewarding!

10. You’ll take care of your health and hygiene.

You’ll make it a point to shower or bathe regularly. Moreover, you’ll eat well and make sure to exercise to maintain your strength and endurance.

You’ll also get plenty of rest. You’ll be sure to dress your best and look your best. Why? Because when you look good, you feel good!

You’ll also give yourself permission to take breaks from tasks if you need to.

11. Benefits of setting boundaries:

You won’t be afraid to enforce those boundaries.

Setting personal boundaries is one thing, but enforcing them is another.

Enforcing personal boundaries is much riskier than setting them. This is because, when you set boundaries, you’re only letting people know what they are. Therefore, the only risk to you is of someone challenging those boundaries.

On the other hand, enforcing your boundaries means that you impose consequences to anyone arrogant enough to cross them. Therefore, you understand that once a bully or abuser steps over your boundaries, then, it’s time to enforce them.

And you’re not afraid to do that. In fact, you’re willing to take that risk to protect your peace of mind.

When you do, no amount of guilt trips or manipulation will sway you. You warned them, they didn’t believe you, and you realize that the only way they’ll take you seriously is to make believers out of them.

Therefore, you’ll do what you have to do to let the creeps know that you mean business. You’ll be willing to impose consequences, whether through fisticuffs or sending their butts to the door and telling them never to come back.

12. Benefits of Setting Boundaries:

You’ll have improved mental and emotional health.

Because you enjoy healthier relationships with people who love and respect you and you score accomplishment after accomplishment, your emotional and mental health will drastically improve!

Put all these things together and your life can only improve!

In conclusion

Setting boundaries is important for a happy and peaceful life. Therefore, you must not be afraid to keep the bullies and jerks out. Remember that you have one life to live and it’s way too short. Therefore, love yourself enough to do what you must do to protect your peace.

Stop allowing yourself to be a dumping ground for other people’s problems. Take care of yourself. Focus on your goals and priorities. And more importantly, set boundaries and reap the rewards that come afterward!

This post is all about the benefits of setting boundaries to motivate you to set your own and take your life back.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Asserting Boundaries: The Pros Outweigh the Cons

4. How to Stop a Bully from Bullying You: 7 Powerful Strategies

5. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying

forgiveness does not require reconnection meaning

Forgiveness Does Not Require Reconnection

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If you’re wondering whether forgiving someone means that you must have them in your life, be assured that forgiveness does not require reconnection. So, do you want to know why? Here are the reasons that you can forgive someone without allowing them into your life.

forgiveness does not require reconnection

Just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean you must continue to keep in contact with them.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn that it’s okay to forgive and continue to keep the transgressor at arms length.

Once you learn that forgiveness does not require reconnection, there will no longer be any confusion on the requirements of forgiveness. Therefore, you will no longer feel guilty about not associating with the transgressor.

The purpose of this post is to re-assure you that forgiveness does not require reconnection so that you can feel better about keeping your distance from someone you don’t trust.

Forgiveness does not require reconnection

However, forgiveness is still necessary for you to live a happy life after bullying.

The Importance of Forgiveness

Forgiving your bullies and anyone who’s ever wronged you isn’t easy, but it’s the most important thing you can do for yourself.

I know, I know! I can practically hear the groans of dread and scoffs coming from a few already. To be honest, I once had the same attitude myself anytime someone advised me to forgive.  I wasn’t ready to because I hadn’t healed yet.

Therefore, you need time to process the abuse you suffered and heal before you can forgive. And only you can know when you’re ready.

Understand that forgiveness doesn’t mean that the transgression they committed against you is okay. Moreover, it does it mean that you have to buddy up with the person who wronged you.

However, when you’re ready to forgive, it will only benefit you, not your attacker.

Forgiveness does not require reconnection but It’s a must for empowerment.

Forgiveness is a must! It is a prerequisite for re-empowerment and happiness.

To forgive is not about letting anyone off the hook; it’s about setting yourself free from the toxic feelings of anger and hate, which can only hold you back.

Therefore, this message is for targets of bullying today and for survivors of bullying. Forgive them when you’re ready.

I can tell you that for me, the ability to forgive was like a huge weight that was lifted off of my shoulders. There’s truly no better feeling!

Anytime you hold on to grudges and hate for a person, that individual controls you whether you realize it or not. Although, they may have exerted control over the years they bullied you, you don’t have to let them control the rest of your life.

In other words, holding onto and carrying around anger and hate doesn’t hurt the person it’s aimed at. It hurts you.

Why? Because the people you hate and hold grudges against either don’t know about it, or they don’t care.

Therefore, while you’re sitting around stewing over someone who did you wrong, that person could care less. They’re going on with their lives and not giving you so much as a thought.

So, why should you allow them to take up space in your mind?

Forgiveness is the only solution to this problem. It’s the only way that you will be able to take back control of your life.

Put another way, if you want to be happy, successful, and live in peace, forgive the people who wronged you. It’s the only way!

Forgiveness does not require reconnection:

You must heal before you can forgive

I understand because I’ve been there. People do things to you that is so bad that it sometimes takes years to forgive them. It’s why many people don’t go to their class reunions, company outings and even family reunions.

When someone severely wrongs you, you don’t desire to see their face. You’re just damn glad they’re out of your life and you just want to forget them.

When bullies have targeted you, it’s only natural to feel anger, resentment, and disgust toward them. Therefore, to heal, you must allow yourself to feel the pain and raw emotions.

In other words, never bury the pain. Never keep it stuffed down inside because you’re afraid to make anyone angry or uncomfortable.

Why? Because it will only fester if you do. You will only internalize everything you’ve been through.

Moreover, all that toxicity will come out sooner or later in either destructive rage or physical illness, such as a heart attack or stroke.

So, take your time and feel your emotions as long as you need to. Just don’t stay in that dark place for long. Don’t set up your tent and live there!

Forgiveness does not require reconnection nor does it mean you can’t speak out about the abuse.

Be open about your anger and talk to a friend, family member, or therapist. Tell them you’re pissed. Speak out about the abuse.

Whatever you do, get it out! And realize there will be people who won’t like it.

Understand that, in this world, there are people who won’t mind wiping their feet all over you but will be greatly offended when you become angry about it and talk about it, or worse, tell them a thing or two!

There will be people who expect you to be okay with something they know good and well they wouldn’t be okay with if it were done to them.

The path to forgiving is letting it all out.

Therefore, tell those people to get lost because they don’t matter. What matters is that you care for yourself and put yourself first.

Why should you give a crap about their feelings? They never cared about yours. So, never let others make you feel guilty for speaking out and responding in kind!

Tell them how you feel and let it out. But do it constructively. Put some bass in your voice. Be firm, but don’t yell. A certain amount of cursing is expected when you’re pushed too far.

But don’t drop any F-bombs. Raise your voice if you need to, but don’t scream and yell. Screaming and yelling will only incite toxic people to push your buttons to see you react, then tell anyone who’ll listen that you’re “mentally unstable.”

Go somewhere private and cry if you need to. Crying doesn’t mean that you’re weak. It means that you’re a human being with feelings.

Do whatever you must do to get it off your chest. Why? Because the sooner you can process those bad feelings, the sooner you can forgive and move on to a better life.

Once you get it all out, you will heal. Then, once you heal, you will be able to forgive. As a result, you’ll find a peace you’ve never known.

Moreover, you can find outlets for it through things like writing books and blogs, music, art, and other creative works. During constructive things like these will give you closure

 Forgiveness does not require reconnection.

In other words, it doesn’t mean you must let them back into your life. Why? Because some people will never be worthy of your trust.

Again, healthy, forgiveness doesn’t mean you think what they did to you was okay. Far from it. What it means is that you refuse to let those who transgressed against you set up camp in your mind.

It means that you refuse to hold onto grudges that may block you from your rightful blessings. In this, you make room for growth and success.

However, too may people think that forgiveness means that you must become buddy-buddy with the person. They then wonder why they keep getting hurt.

Realize that bullies only see forgiveness as a weakness and stupidity. They view forgiveness as a green light to continue their abuse.

Understand that some people think that forgiveness means that you’re okay with it and always will be.

Therefore, you must realize that forgiveness doesn’t obligate you to interact with the person who did you wrong. Moreover, it doesn’t mean you continue to be someone’s fool.

You can forgive someone and still realize that they’re no good. Toxic people are dead weight and, though you may forgive them, you realize that it’s still best to keep them at arm’s length.

You’re strong enough to forgive but wise enough to avoid toxic people.

You avoid them because you realize that these people will only take your forgiveness for foolishness. Therefore, because they have a history of pushing your boundaries, you’re forgiving, yet assertive.

Forgiveness is great because it gives you peace of mind. Moreover, you’re doing what God commands you to do. Besides, how can God forgive us of our trespasses against Him if we don’t first forgive others of their wrongs against us?

Forgive, but forgive wisely. If you continue to allow these people to have a place in your life, they will only continue to take advantage of you.

You don’t have to be mean to or mistreat them but there’s no law that says you have to trust them again. It’s better that you don’t trust them.

In other words, you don’t need to restore relationships with all those you’ve forgiven. Just because you’ve made peace with them doesn’t mean they have with you.

Some people you must forgive from afar.

This post is here to assure you that forgiveness does not require reconnection in some situations and with some people.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Be Happy Be Yourself: 3 Benefits You Reap When You Stop Caring What Others Think

2. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

3. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

4. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

5. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

6. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

When Fighting Is The Only Alternative You Have

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Many times throughout my life, I’ve heard people preach against fighting- and yes, even in self-defense. When I was being bullied- even physically so, I was often told by teachers and even the bullies themselves, “Violence doesn’t solve anything.”  Or, my personal favorite, “fighting isn’t lady-like.”

I’ve got news for these people- neither is getting your face beat in every day.

Be that as it may, fighting back was better than just standing there and taking the beatings. When you’re a target of bullying and you decide to stand up for yourself, there will be people who will climb up on their soapbox and insert their two cents where it doesn’t belong, telling you that “violence doesn’t solve anything,” and that “you shouldn’t stoop to their (the bullies’) level.”

You’ve heard the term, “All up in your Kool-Aid, and don’t know the flavor.” Yep! That’s where they’ll will be when you get enough of bullying and decide once and for all to take care of business.

However, what else do you do if you’re a kid at school getting their brains beat out every other day? Just stand there and allow yourself to be harmed over and over again?

All the time, targets get suspended or expelled from school when they finally defend themselves against a bully. After six months, eight months, two years, or even five years of being mercilessly bullied and trying to handle it through nonviolent means, only to be called a wuss and beat up more, the target finally gets fed up and beats the living crap out of a bully.

Now everyone’s surprised and outraged! Not at the bully, but at the target! But where was their outrage when the target was getting their body pummeled without provocation? Where was their outrage when the shoe was on the other foot? Where was their humanity when the target cried out for help?

If you’re in school and you’re a target of bully. These questions are those you should ask the school authorities, bystanders, and anyone who gets offended by your defending yourself. Know that you’re just as good as the next person. Know that you have the same rights as anyone else- including your bullies. And know that you have the right to defend yourself anytime you’re threatened with physical harm.

Understand that this is a part of self-care. It’s true that fighting isn’t always the answer but sometimes, bullies will leave you no other choice.

So, if you’ve tried everything else, know that you must do what you must to keep yourself safe. And if it means putting up your dukes and getting froggy, so be it.

It’s sad when a target must fight all the time to keep themselves from being harmed but I don’t hold it against anyone who fights back under those circumstances because you have to take care of yourself or no one else will.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

How to Use Your Bullies’ Attacks Against Them

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You drag them out.

What do I mean by this?

When they attack you with insults, you simply say, “That’s your opinion,” or “Opinions vary.” When you do this, you will only force the bullies to repeat the attacks over and over again- drag them out until they become boring and redundant.

I won’t kid you; this technique won’t be an easy thing to do. Any time we are attacked, our first instinct is to jab back with attacks of our own. But sadly, this usually proves ineffective as it only pulls us down to the bully’s level.

Also, although this method can be effective in the workplace, it’s much harder and usually takes much longer to have an effect as adults are more tenacious and stealthier with their bullying. This strategy works much better in the school environment.

Respond, yes. But react, no.

And how you respond is with short comebacks like those above, then walk away and leave the bullies standing there, running their mouths and looking stupid. Because, when you don’t give them the response they want (which is for you to attack them back by name-calling, yelling, screaming, or cursing), their natural reactions will be to repeat, repeat, repeat like a broken record.

In other words, you force the bullies to repeat the same attacks until it gets so old and stale that others outside the bully/target dynamic get thoroughly sick of hearing the bullies that they no longer pay attention to it.

In deploying this neat little method, you expose the bullies’ fakery and the childishness of their attacks. You also expose the weakness of the bullies’ position, which they thought was their strength. Instead of turning their “audience” against you, they end up alienating them because bystanders become bored after a while.

Sadly, I didn’t know this at the time I was a target.