Bullies are the biggest hypocrites! And another unfortunate reality of bullying is that the target is held to a double-standard. The bullies, especially those in authority, will often condemn the target for statements and actions they allow others to get away with. They will also demonize the target for things that are harmless or innocent.
Also, ideas and creations, which are independent things and should stand on their own merits, are undermined or dismissed if they’re found to originate from the target. However, if the exact ideas or creations come from anyone other than the target, they’re accepted, even praised.
It’s not about the idea or creation itself. It’s about who it comes from.
The reality is that nothing- no action, statement, idea or creation ever stands on its own merit. Nothing is ever independent of the person who conceived it.
Double-standards aren’t only put in place to assign different roles to different people in different positions in a hierarchy, they have another purpose as well:
1. To elevate, angelize and benefit the people we approve of and to degrade, demonize and harm the people we disapprove of.
Understand that people hold a target of bullying to double standards for one reason only, to stress, oppress and invalidate the person.
It doesn’t matter whether or not the person deserves it. What matters is how people feel about and perceive the person.
Remember that emotions and personal feelings always- always take priority over logic. Always has and always will. And the sooner you accept it, the quicker and more effectively you will be able to find your way around it.
Here are a couple of ways you can get around a double-standard:
1. Go incognito if possible. If you write a paper or invent something, don’t use your real name in the beginning. Use a pen name or pseudonym before submitting it.
If you have bullies around, they won’t know it was you who created it, so they will likely approve of it. Then, once it’s approved and recognized for its brilliance, everyone will want to know who the mystery person is. Once an award has been prepared and everything’s all said and done, you can reveal who you are. Think of the movie, “The Cinderella Pact.”
I’ve also heard of people doing similar things in real life.
But note that this only works in certain situations.
2. Meet strangers who don’t know and haven’t heard of you. Find and befriend strangers who don’t know of your damaged reputation. Then keep company with them. These people are least likely to judge you because there will be no history or biases. With them, you start with a clean slate. So, you can put your best foot forward and be your best you!
Reputations are hard to change, but with careful thought, inventiveness, and creativity, you can intelligently work your way around your circumstances.
