a ‘Want to know about people-reading and why it can protect you from bullying? Here’s everything you need to know.
People-reading is an essential skill to ensure your safety. If you don’t have the skills to analyze others, you may not realize when someone is out to harm you.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn the importance of people-reading so that you can weed out those who are evil and let in others who are good for you.
Once you learn all about this vital skill, you will be able to avoid toxic people and stay safe.
This post is all about people-reading, so that you will know why it is so important.
People-Reading
In life, we must always observe the goings-on around us. That means watching those around you and, most of all, being good at people-watching.
You cannot afford to walk around blindly. It would be best to watch people for a while before connecting with them. This isn’t cowardly. It’s smart.
‘Not saying you should stare a hole through anyone. Little micro-glances and using your peripheral vision are enough. Moreover, it will tell you a lot about the kinds of personalities that surround you.
Also, listen carefully to everything and every word spoken around you. Most of all, listen to your gut instinct. Pay attention to the vibes others put out because energy never lies. Neither does your body. You always feel bad vibes in your body.
Just pay attention, period. You’ll be surprised at how quickly and easily you pick out the bullies in an environment.
4 Red Flags to Watch For
People-reading is the practice of observing how others carry themselves. Notice their facial expressions, the way they dress, their eyes, everything. Listen to their tone and how they speak. Pay attention to their posture.
Do this for about a month before attempting to get friendly, and you’ll know who to avoid. As a reminder, here are some red flags to watch out for.
Each thing you notice will give you clues as to the kinds of people who surround you. Here are red flags to look for.
1. People-Reading:
Do they gossip?
You’ll know a gossiper within five minutes when you observe one and overhear them talk. If you hear them talk about someone else, you can be sure they will talk about you, too.
Just give them time. Therefore, it’s best to avoid those who talk about others behind their backs. They don’t make good friends.
With these types, familiarity always breeds contempt. Again, stay away.
2. Are they nosey?
These creeps will ask you many questions, and they’re not shy about asking personal ones. Understand that they’re not interested in you or your life.
They’re only trying to get juicy information to spread about you later. So, don’t walk, run!
3. Are they aggressive?
Don’t have anything to do with these types, especially! Because you’re likely to get hurt if you fall on their bad side. Why even take the chance? It isn’t worth it.
4. People-Reading:
Are they clingy?
Trust me. You want nothing to do with these types, either. Why? Because they can be so annoying. Ewww! I realize that it’s what some people do when they’ve endured bullying and abuse.
And my heart goes out to them. However, you must look out for yourself and put yourself first. It’s not that you don’t want to be friends with this person. Moreover, it’s not that you mean to hurt their feelings.
But there’s a problem when a person wants to be right up under you all the time and doesn’t give you a little space to breathe.
Being observant of those around you can help you avoid dangerous people. In that, you also avoid uncomfortable situations.
Some might notice your distancing and say that you’re too quiet or antisocial. But in saying so, before they get to know you, they only reveal themselves as possible gossips and troublemakers. So, all the better for you.
Having been a victim of bullying can give you the gift of sight.
No. I don’t mean clairvoyant. You may not be able to see into the future. But you can predict others’ behavior by watching their body language.
Here’s how this works. Once you are targeted long enough, you grow wise about people. Therefore, you learn to predict the petty moves of bullies and unsavory characters.
You will know what each person will say. Survivors of bullying learn to see the actions and nonverbal cues of others.
And they can hear the words of those around them and know what’s coming next. Veteran targets and survivors of bullying develop an uncanny ability to read people.
It’s a gift they have developed within themselves over years or decades of being targeted.
People-Reading is a survival skill.
Survivors of bullying can see through the smoke screens people try to hide behind. They also excel at recognizing signs of impending danger.
Many have this talent without realizing it. And why not? They have to have it to survive.
They may not come out and say it or admit it, but some learn to read people like books. Those with a history of victimhood can feel others’ mental states, moods, and intentions. Moreover, they sense, with remarkable accuracy, the vibes others put out.
AT first, victims of bullying may doubt themselves.
At first, they may not listen to their intuitions. This will be what gets them into trouble. Because bullies have abused them, these targets often lose trust in themselves.
Additionally, they may lose confidence in their feelings and senses. And they may ignore those God-given instincts.
However, they quickly learn not to dismiss their gut feeling as paranoia. They soon begin paying attention to and heeding them. Why? Because chances are that they’re right.
When you suffer bullying, now is not the time to doubt yourself. Use your predictions to your advantage. This is how you cut off any coming attacks.
People-reading:
Victims of Bullying may also learn how to thrive socially.
They will learn social graces by watching others. This is another area where learning people-reading skills benefits you.
Close to ninety percent of our language is nonverbal. In other words, actions speak louder than words ever will.
All too often, when bullies have attacked you for an extended period, your self-esteem and mental health suffer. Even worse, others will see it through your everyday body language, and you won’t realize it’s happening.
Consequently, most targets attract more abuse. Why? Because their body language changes with time as they endure daily abuse.
The target’s body language will transform from confident to diffident, meaning a lack of confidence. This is the reason most victims of bullying have few friends.
Why do most targets of bullying have difficulty making friends?
This is because others can spot insecurity a mile away. This is what makes it challenging to attract healthy people into your life.
You’ll only attract users and more abusers. Why? It’s human nature for healthy people to avoid those who give off signals of low self-esteem.
On the other hand, you’ll attract predators. In other words, you’ll draw people who fake a friendship to either exert control over you or to get something from you.
Moreover, nonverbal signals, such as avoiding eye contact, looking down, fake smiles, and closed body language, can make you appear unapproachable.
People-Reading:
It’s not your fault.
Naturally, this is not your fault. It is just something that happens after a person has endured abuse for so long.
However, confident body language is something that you can learn. You can even teach yourself and practice confidence.
And once you perfect it, you will instantly attract faithful friends and better people into your life. Here are powerful tricks you can use to win friends instantly.
Here’s how to use your people-reading skills to imitate those who are confident and well-liked.
When you learn to read others, you will also be able to use those skills to make yourself bully-proof. Moreover, you will use those skills to make yourself more approachable.
And you will instantly give yourself more social appeal. Learning to read others also means watching your own nonverbal cues.
1. Smile! And smile genuinely!
Smiling at others shows that you approve of them and are open to friendships. It also conveys confidence, and confidence is where it’s at!
However, a fake smile is easy to spot and a major turn-off. It only repels people, or worse, invites more abuse. Fake smiles hurt more than help.
People-reading is great. However, you must also watch your own body language.
2. Make good eye contact.
When you make good eye contact, you show others that you are genuinely interested in them. Moreover, it conveys respect.
Human beings love those who take an interest in them. Therefore, when you’re engaged in conversation with someone, look them in the eye.
Just don’t overdo it, or you’ll seem creepy. Just find that happy middle.
3. People-Reading:
Stand up straight.
Confident and outgoing people always have great posture. They stand up straight and hold their shoulders back.
On the other hand, slouching and hunching convey insecurity and low self-esteem. So, stand up straight and walk with purpose.
Also, throw in a few power poses when you stand. Keep your feet shoulder-width apart, and your hands on your hips. Your thumbs should be on the front of your waist.
These stances signal confidence. It can also keep bullies away. When a bully sees someone do this, they think twice before messing with them.
Why? Because their body language is signaling confidence and, more importantly, power! And if there’s one thing bullies understand, it is power.
4. Practice open body language.
This will instantly make you more approachable. Put simply, open body language means facing the person you’re talking to and keeping your whole body turned toward them.
When you do this, you’re signaling that you’re interested in what the other person has to say.
5. People-Reading:
Slightly lean in when you talk to someone.
Again, this shows that you are fully engaged and interested in what the other person is saying. However, only do it slightly to avoid invading your interlocutor’s personal space.
Make sure to do this properly, and you will build rapport with those you speak to. Also, they will be more likely to trust you.
6. Nod when you agree with the person you’re talking to.
Nodding not only shows that you are listening and fully engaged. Also, it conveys understanding and agreement.
Nodding is a potent form of communication and often gets excellent social results!
7. Use hand gestures when you speak.
Using hand gestures can help you to think and express your thoughts and feelings more clearly. Moreover, it conveys understanding, energy, and warmth.
8. People-Reading:
Relax.
If you want others to feel at ease around you, relax when you’re having a conversation with them. There is nothing worse than talking to someone who seems nervous and tense.
It weirds others out big time! Therefore, always relax around others. Relaxed body language conveys that you’re comfortable and confident in yourself.
In turn, others will be comfortable and confident with you.
9. Put away your phone.
There is nothing worse than talking to someone who has their face in their phone, texting. It conveys that they’re more interested in what’s on their screen and not what you have to say.
It is downright rude and disrespectful. So, lose the phone when you’re in conversation with someone. It’s just good social etiquette.
10. Be aware of where your toes are pointed.
If you’re in a conversation with someone, make sure your toes are pointed toward them. If your feet are pointed away, it only suggests that you want to go elsewhere. In other words, you don’t want to be with the person.
Now, some don’t think about the feet, but those who are the most aware of nonverbal cues will. Therefore, always stand with your feet and toes pointed toward the person you’re talking to.
It signals that you want to move toward them, that you’re happy to speak with them.
11. People-Reading:
Make sure your body language is congruent with your words.
This is so important! If you’re saying one thing and your nonverbal communication doesn’t match, you will come off to others as insincere.
As a result, they won’t take you seriously. Nobody likes fake. So, more than anything else, be sure that your nonverbal cues are in line with your verbal ones.
12. Practice the art of small talk.
What is small talk? Simple! Talking about everyday topics. When you discuss the weather, which team won the Super Bowl, your favorite rock bands, or current news, this is small talk.
In other words, never talk to potential friends about anything deep. Save that for later… much later!
If you’re looking to make new friends, keep conversations light until the friendship has grown significantly.
13. People-Reading:
Establish common ground.
Friendships come much more easily with those we have something in common with. Find those with whom you have something in common, such as other targets of bullying.
Band with them. I guarantee that this works like a charm if you want to make friends.
When you begin practicing these techniques, they may feel weird at first. However, don’t quit. Practice good verbal and nonverbal communication every day until it becomes second nature.
Also, remember that others pay more attention to your body language than your words. So, improve them both.
Then, watch the magic unfold as people instantly become warmer and more receptive toward you. You will make terrific friends in the process.
People-Reading:
In conclusion
Reading people’s cues is essential if you want to avoid toxic people. For more information, you can read about nonverbal bullying here. Moreover, just as you are watching them, others are also watching you.
Therefore, you must also watch your own nonverbal cues to ward off predators. People-reading is one of the most important skills you can have.
This post is all about people-reading so that you can use it to NOT ONLY WATCH OTHERS AND FIGURE OUT THEIR INTENTIONS, BUT ALSO watch your own so that you won’t attract human predators.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Confident Body Language: 11 Ways to Look Confident
2. Non Verbal Bullying: Hostile Body Language Head to Toe
3. Examples of Non Verbal Bullying
4. Fake Friend: 11 Easy Ways to Spot One with Bad Intentions
5. Threatening Body Language: 21 Hostile Cues to Never Ignore
6. Hostile Body Language: 17 Signs Bullies Want to Get Physical
