When you need someone more than they need you, what do you do to break the spell that person has over you? Would you like to know? As someone who’s been caught in that trap, I’m giving you eight easy ways to tip the scales of power in your favor.
You may be a victim of bullying who’s rejected, lonely and desperate for friends. Or, maybe you’re a battered woman trapped in an abusive and controlling relationship. Nevertheless, anytime you need someone else more than they need you, it’s a trap that’s hard to pry yourself out of.
As someone who’s been there, I’m giving you effective ways to tip the scales of power in your favor when you need someone more than they need you.
You will learn easy and foolproof ways to escape the grip of a controlling person whether it’s a bully, fake friend, or abusive partner. You will then take back control of your life.
Once you learn all about these empowering methods, you will re-empower yourself and take back your personal power, independence, and your freedom. Then, you will be able to lead your life in the direction you wish and bravely assert your rights to be treated with dignity and respect.
This post is all about how to tip the balance of power when you need someone more than they need you. Also, it’s about becoming re-empowered to take your autonomy and your life back so that you can finally live happier and in peace.
When you need someone more than they need you.
So, what happens anytime you allow someone to put you in the position where you need them more than they need you?
You allow someone else to control you. In that, you set yourself up to be that person’s prisoner and to be discarded once you’ve served your purpose to them.
In other words, you put yourself at the other’s mercy.
Therefore, never allow your world to revolve around someone because you’re afraid that you won’t find another partner. The same goes if you’re a target of bullying. Never hang on to fake friends because you’re afraid that you won’t find other friends.
Moreover, never seek attention because you feel deprived of it. Why? Because, if you do any of these things, you make yourself a slave to others.
As a result, you lose your value in the eyes of others. In short, you make yourself expendable and replaceable.
What other people see when you need someone more than they need you
Understand that people have a tendency not to place much value, if any at all, on someone who constantly makes themselves readily available. It’s the same for a person who always hangs around, and (gasp!) who chases after approval and human connection.
On the other hand, a person who makes themselves rare, scarce, mysterious, and allusive is usually the one who’s sought after.
Hey! I get it, I understand the overwhelming feeling of loneliness and despair when bullies bully you. Also, I realize the level of heartache when fake friends throw you under the bus and turn on you. Therefore, my heart goes out to you.
However, the last thing you want is to give away what dignity you have left. And you definitely don’t want to do it by giving these people the satisfaction of seeing your desperation.
They may disparage you; they may judge you, they may gossip about you, but let them do it. Moreover, let them misunderstand you and look down their noses at you. Just don’t let them know that their bullying is ruining your life.
Every bully’s biggest desire is to see for themselves how their abuse affects you.
Nine times out of ten, the people who do these things to you want to know how it hurts you. In other words, they want to see your wounds. They want to see you beg and plead. They want to see you hurt- and hurt badly.
And why not? It’s a dark part of human nature that people who want to hurt you want confirmation that their abuse is working to tear you down. And most of all, they want confirmation that they have power over you.
Your bullies and abusers want absolute assurance that they can determine how you feel about yourself. Furthermore, they want you dependent on their say so.
Therefore, don’t give them the satisfaction!
I’ve known women with abusive husbands, who let their abusers talk them into quitting their jobs or dropping out of college. As a result, each of these women gave up her independence.
Thus, she became totally dependent on him. Consequently thereafter, he had free reign to do with her whatever he wanted.
The end result when you need someone more than they need you:
My very abusive grandfather did the same to my grandmother when she worked for a T.V. manufacturing plant during the mid-sixties. Calling herself being the dutiful wife, she allowed him to sweet talk her into quitting her job.
Moreover, my granddad promised her that he would provide for all her needs and that he’d be a good husband to her if she’d only quit her job.
Sadly, less than a month after she quit, he sold her candy apple red, ’66 Ford Mustang she had just paid off. Additionally, he sold the car behind her back! Right out from under her!
Therefore, he wanted her to need him more than he needed her. Thankfully, my grandmother eventually ended the marriage and tipped the balance of power in her favor.
A bully can be a domineering classmate, a supervisor, or an abusive spouse or parent.
My grandfather was also an abusive, domineering parent. He tried to control the life of his oldest daughter, my aunt.
For example, he tried to keep her from marrying the love of her life when she was eighteen years old. Why? Because he wanted to keep her under his roof and therefore, under his thumb and within his reach.
However, she dared to defy him and get married anyway, with my grandmother’s permission. My aunt married Uncle Gene behind my grandfather’s back.
As a result, granddad showed up at the house my aunt and her new husband had rented and physically attacked her in her own driveway.
Now, you’re probably wondering why I’m telling you this story. It’s because there’s a point to it. And, the point is that bullies, whether at home, in the workplace, in any form of government, or at school, want the same thing.
They want their targets to need them more than the bullies need their targets. In other words, they want complete control over their target’s lives.
Understand that this is all a form of coercive control.
When you need someone more than they need you, you leave yourself at that person’s mercy.
What do these bullies have to gain from ruling their targets with an iron fist? Power! Raw power! That’s what they have to gain.
Put simpler, bullies in the home want their targets totally dependent on their approval to live in peace.
Moreover, bullies in the workplace want their targets to need their approval to keep and enjoy their jobs. In that, they need their approval to provide for themselves and their families.
Also, it’s the same with bullies in government, better known as tyrants or despots. Tyrants want their constituents to think they need their permission to have freedom and to enjoy human rights.
Bullies at school want their targets to depend on their say so to have friends and a good social life. Moreover, they want the power to decide whether their victims have psychological and physical safety.
Understand that bullies are all about CONTROL and DOMINANCE. Nothing more!
So, how do we ensure that we never become dependent on another person?
What are the easy ways to tip the scales of power when you need someone more than they need you?
1. Do Not Comply.
In other words, if you’re an abused wife, you keep your job, no matter how he may sweet talk you into quitting. Moreover, if he promises you that he’ll fulfill all your financial needs, take it with a grain of salt.
Continue to stand firm no matter how tough he makes life for you at home. Also, the same goes if you’re a student and he wants you to drop out of college. Keep going to class and do NOT drop out.
Understand that much of the power a bully holds depends on your compliance. Therefore, when you refuse to comply with bullies’ demands, you instantly snatch back your personal power.
2. Quietly keep a private stash of money hidden away.
Here’s another nugget of advice for abused partners. Quietly keep a private stash of money hidden away and keep saving until you can afford to bail out of the abusive marriage.
Abusive partners will take control of any money that comes into the household. Why? To keep you broke so that you’ll stay dependent on them.
Think about it! Communist and Socialist governments do the same thing to the people they govern. Dictators, Tyrants, and Despots take complete control of business and production and seize the food and money supply to ensure that the people obey their demands. Also, they do these things to keep the people dependent on government for their very survival.
Abusive and controlling partners and tyrannical governments (dictators, tyrants, and despots) are the same types of people. Bullies are bullies are bullies!
This brings me to number three.
3. When you need someone more than they need you: What If you’re under the rule of a bully official?
If you’re under the rule of a bully official, realize that the people outnumber this tyrant by the thousands, or even millions. Therefore, there is strength in numbers.
Find a way to use that against them.
4. What If you’re the target of bullying in the workplace by a bully boss or bully coworkers?
If this is the case, you should quietly update your resume and begin looking for another job. Moreover, whatever you do, find a way not to put the bully down as a reference.
Then, when you find another job, quit!
Understand that staying in a toxic workplace isn’t worth the risks to your mental health! Therefore, find a way out as soon as possible!
5. Make friends outside the bullying environment.
In other words, make friends outside the bullying workplace or school. Your bullies and others at work or school may not value you. However, it doesn’t mean that people outside of the toxic workplace won’t.
Chances are that it will be much easier for you to make new friends outside of the toxic place. Therefore, do this. However, when you do, know that there’s no need to tell your new friends about the bullying you suffer at work or school.
This is information nobody on the outside (besides your family) needs to know.
6. Take a self-defense class.
If you’re dealing with physical bullies, you may want to take a self-defense class. MMA training helps to keep physically violent bullies at bay.
However, it’s best not to use it until you advance a few levels and feel confident in what you’ve learned.
7. Keep your sense of self intact.
In other words, continue to value and love yourself no matter how your bullies may mistreat and degrade you. Hold onto your self-belief.
Although you can never control how others see you or how they behave toward you, you can control how you see and treat yourself. Know that you have a choice of whether to keep toxic people in your life or kick them out of it.
Remember that your thoughts are free, and you choose the way you think of yourself. You control how you see yourself. They may mistreat you terribly, but they can’t take your mind if you don’t let them.
8. If all else fails, leave the toxic environment. Rent a new house or move to a new area, job, or school.
No one deserves to live, work, or learn in an unsafe environment. You’re well within your rights to walk away and never look back, or to at least, make changes that benefit you until you can walk away.
In conclusion, never allow someone to put you in a position where you need them more than they need you. Find a way to re-balance those power scales!
This post was all about what to do when you need someone more than they need you so that you can take back your personal power.
1. How to Outsmart a Bully: 1 Proven Strategy.
2. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying
3. How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: 5 Powerful Steps
4. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps
5. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use
