Tag: knowledge is power

knowledge is power

A Bully’s Power is Your Lack of Knowledge

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If you are a target of bullying, you must have knowledge of not only where your bullies draw their power from, but where your own power comes from.

If you don’t know it, you must learn it. And once you do, you will disarm bullies from a very powerful tool. And that tool is your lack of knowledge. Realize that your lack of awareness of your own value, along with the bully’s nature, mindset, and tactics is their biggest power.

Therefore, when you understand the value that you bring and how bullies think and operate, their moves and power plays will no longer have any effect on you.

Again, your lack of knowledge of your own power and potential is the main area from where your bullies draw their power.

In other words, if you already know the bullies are bad news and that they aren’t worthy of your time nor consideration, they can’t get over on you. Why? Because it takes two to create a bullying incident- the bully and the target.

So, what pillars must you realize to understand your power?

1. Your goodness

2. Strength

3. Rights

In that, you know your value. And this is your power.

Additionally, when you don’t realize your value, that’s another one of the bullies’ greatest assets. And it’s why many targets simp out- they don’t know their value, rights, nor strength.

When You Simp, You Only Hand Over Your Power.

Many targets simp for approval, attention, and popularity and most don’t realize they’re doing it. In doing these things, you not only get worse abuse from the bullies, but you also lose respect from bystanders who would otherwise be friends and allies. Therefore, even the bystanders and witnesses will begin to mistreat you too. And that reason will be that you don’t respect yourself.

Understand that if you don’t respect yourself, no one else will respect you either.

Therefore, you must respect yourself and do it in the early stages of bullying. Because once the bullying has gone on for so long, it will be too late. And the way to self-respect is to have knowledge of your value and your power. Know your worth and you will know your power!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Being Bullied in School Should Prompt You to Learn More about Bullying and the Power Dynamic

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I began researching bullying in the early to mid-nineties. I wanted to know everything there was to know about it- why people bully, what drove bullies to single out only certain people, what bullies look for in victims, how bullying affected different people, and what characteristics determined victimhood.

Instead of being traumatized from it, I wanted to learn from it. During the nineties, I poured through countless library books, magazine articles, news columns, anything relating to the subject of bullying. I read about the different personalities of bullies, bystanders, and victims. I also poured through books and articles about politics, social infrastructures, and the power dynamic.

During the late 90’s and 2000s, I took to my PC and poured through countless online articles and essays on the subject, beginning with Tim Field and bullyonline.org based in the UK. I remember emailing Tim Field with many questions on bullying and he always replied curiously and promptly. I learned so much from Tim Field.

I was surprised to find that so many others had suffered bullying as well- celebrities, musicians, writers, doctors, attorneys, teachers, homemakers, people from all walks of life. I am saddened that Mr. Field is no longer with us. I will be forever grateful to him for sharing his expertise and being the encouragement I needed to learn more on the subject.

In my years of research, I’ve attained a vast wealth of knowledge on bullying- knowledge which has served me well both professionally and socially. In my in-depth study of bullies, I have gained so much insight into the minds and personalities of my former classmates and all bullies.

In reading countless testimonies of victims and survivors, I realize that none of it was all in my head and that I wasn’t overreacting or bringing it all on myself as my classmates and a few of my teachers had cruelly forced me to believe.

nosy watching study research

Antique books with magnifying glass. Old leather bound vintage books in a row

Bullying and the tactics used, from whisper campaigns to witch hunts to threats to bodily harm, have gone on since the beginning of time. It’s nothing new. During the years I was bullied in school, I had tried reporting it, tried speaking out only to be ignored, shamed, retaliated against, and blamed for it. That is also nothing new.

Because no one would listen, I grabbed a pen and began writing in a daily journal about the daily bullying I suffered at school to keep as a record in case the bullies at school hurt me so bad I’d need hospitalization or worse, murdered me.

I even had one of my journals taken from me by a teacher in the eighth grade and never saw it again. Luckily, I kept a backup hidden at home, and I never lost anything.

Close up of examining of test sample of microchip transistor under the microscope in laboratory.

By the time I switched schools during my senior year, I had filled several journals with countless horror stories of social aggression, psycho/emotional torment, and brutal beatings dished out by my classmates.

I kept those journals put away in a storage bin for decades because I knew that one day, I would write a book about my experiences. That book, “From Victim to Victor: A Survivor’s True Story of Her Experiences with School Bullying.” is now published and available.

With knowledge comes power. If you’ve had something terrible happen in your life- something so awful that it deeply affected your life, learn about it instead of agonizing over it. Instead of being angry over something that happened in the past that you can’t do absolutely anything about, learn as much as you can about it and from every angle possible.

The word Answer on a puzzle piece to symbolize the quest for understanding in answering questions and concerns

Then use it to protect yourself from any future bullying and to help others who are going through the same. I guarantee that doing this will bring healing, unlike anything you can imagine!

Nothing heals you like taking any adversity, learning from it, and using it as a weapon against potential bullies and to help other victims! Try it! You’ll be glad you did!

Know Your Bullies: 5 Types of Bullies You Need to Know About

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Bullies come in different kinds. You can never assume how your bullies will react because different people react to different things in different ways. Speak out against and expose some bullies and they’ll go to the ends of the earth seeking to retaliate.

Taylor your defense strategies to the particular bully you’re dealing with. To do this, you must be able to distinguish the blowhards from the truly vindictive, the smart ones from the dumb, and the aggressive from the passive-aggressive.

Bullies should never be dealt with blindly. If you go into it blind, you’ll be at their mercy and they’ll toss you around like a tornado tosses debris.

To successfully combat bullying, you must be able to recognize different types of personalities if you expect to survive.

1. Narcissistic and Arrogant Bullies – Although they may hide it well, their excessive, touchy pride and self-importance makes them dangerous. If these types detect even a hint of slight, they will pay you back with excessive brutality. With these people, logic and rationality won’t apply. They overreact to what even looks like opposition and ridicule.

And you don’t have to do anything to them. All you have to do is be good at something or outdo them somehow and they’ll take offense to it. They’ll call you a showoff and take it as you’re trying to be better than them. And they’ll make you pay dearly. And if you get recognition for a project well-done, these people won’t tolerate it. They hate being in anyone’s shadow!

These bullies are usually in the popular crowd at school or in management at work.

Don’t bother trying to second guess them. Avoid them like the plague!

2. Insecure Bullies – These people are a close second to the Narcissistic bullies. These bullies are harder to spot and less violent. Their egos are extremely fragile, and their senses of self are insecure. If they dislike you, they’ll attack in small nibbles. And you won’t realize it until the swipes they take at you are big enough to be obvious.

These bullies are usually the groupies to the popular crowd at school or the suck-ups to management at work.

Avoid these people as well.

3. Suspicious Bullies – these bullies only see the worst in not only their targets but everyone. But in their targets, it’s all they want to see. They see them as threats and think they’re out to get them when it couldn’t be further from the truth. However, Suspicious bullies aren’t as dangerous as the previous two. These bullies are, in fact, easy for targets to trick and deceive. And sometimes targets must resort to trickery to protect themselves.

To counter these bullies is to use their suspicions and turn them against someone else. It will take their focus off you and toss it on the other person. Hey, I know it sounds shady but sometimes you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do to protect yourself. And if means someone else (preferably someone who is as mean as a snake) taking the heat for a while, so be it.

4. Bullies with photographic memories – These bullies never forget you. If you were to run into them again 30 years later, you can bet that they will target you again- only picking up where they left off.

If you’re a target of these bullies, they won’t show their hatred outwardly. But they will keep their eyes on you.

They’ll lie in wait as they plot. Then, when the time is right, they’ll exact their brutality with a frigid coldness. These bullies are usually unaffectionate and hard.

To protect yourself, you must damage these bullies or scare them so bad, they won’t even think of coming for you again.

stupid idiot

5. Bullies who aren’t very bright – These people are easy to combat and won’t see your counterattack coming. These are the bullies you can most easily defend yourself against and expose.

Again, you must know your bullies- each of them, if you expect to overcome them. Knowing your bullies means knowing their personalities and being able to predict what they’ll do next. Only then will you be able to protect yourself against them to maximum effect.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Learn the Enemy’s Secrets- Get the Lowdown on Your Bullies

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Knowledge is power! It’s also another way to take the sting out of bullying. We must first know the bullies’ inner workings- how they think, what they deem essential, their desires, and what it is that motivates them to bully.

We must also know the types of bullies we are dealing with, the tactics they love to use against us, and why. Because when we understand what motivates bullies to bully, not only are we better able to build a strategy to defuse the situation, but this knowledge can be a buffer to the effects of bullying on our self-esteem and our psyches.

For example: If a classmate or coworker is bullying me, and I know that her best friend has recently kicked her to the curb, or that she is going through a horrible break-up or divorce, that maybe she is being abused at home, or someone else is bullying her, I can at least know that there’s a strong possibility that she is trying to bring me down solely to keep from feeling so powerless herself, rather than to be fooled into thinking that her behavior is because there is something wrong with me.

I then know without a doubt that her mistreatment of me comes from a place of her insecurity and that her belittling me is only a desperate attempt to feel some sense of power. Therefore, I can have empathy for her while knowing that I’m still a great person, and my self-esteem remains unscathed.

It would also help to quell any anger, hatred, or resentment I might otherwise feel towards her. Instead, I will more than likely feel pity for her or even feel vindicated in some way. Any future bullying she might subject me to won’t bother me as much, which will make it much easier for me to blow her off as being just another blowhard and not as perfect or strong as she has vigorously tried to make herself out to be.

Combined, this can be a real self-esteem booster!

Another example would be if my bully were a narcissistic psycho/sociopath, I’d know that her ego is puffed up, or she’s a spoiled, coddled brat, or maybe mistreated in the past that she thinks she’s owed special treatment. Either way, I’d know that it would probably be best to avoid her like the plague and go completely no-contact.

Here’s the third example: If I have a group of people who are bullying me because they are jealous of me and wish they had something I possess- talents, gifts, relationships, material things, etc., I know that I should feel great about myself as if only goes to show that these bullies actually admire me (in their way) or the things about me they covet so much.

This article may sound strange, even delusional, but think about it. Why else would these people seemingly go out of their way to belittle and crush my confidence?

It helps to know what the bullies may be going through in their own lives and to have a little intel about their lives away from school and work. There’s nothing wrong with aligning yourself with other people your bully has bullied before you and with your bully’s enemies.

There’s nothing wrong with getting some counterintelligence from reliable sources if it will protect your self-esteem from being crushed under the proverbial bootheel of a bully! So, do a little spying, nonchalantly get their enemies and other victims to talk!

Doing this will be a piece of cake to do as they will almost certainly be too happy to give up the deets! You will then be armed to the teeth will info that will take the wind out of the bullies’ sales and the blunt force out of their attacks.
The more you know, the better you protect yourself!