Do you want to know how to gather intel on bullies and, figuratively, get to know your enemy? Here is a list of reasons why you should as well as an explanation of how you should go about it.
In this post, you will learn how to collect intel on your bullies and the reasons why it pays to do it. In that, you will learn how to get to know your enemy so that you can better predict and thwart their attacks to protect yourself.
Once you learn this valuable information, you will be able to better protect and defend yourself against bullies. Therefore, you will take back your personal power and your peace of mind.
This post is all about gathering intel on bullies so that you can know your enemy to protect yourself against them.
Know Your enemy
Knowledge is power! It’s also another way to take the sting out of bullying. You must first know the bullies’ inner workings- how they think, what they deem essential, their desires, and what it is that motivates them to bully.
Moreover, you must know the types of bullies you are dealing with, the tactics they love to use against you. Additionally you must know why they use them.
7 Reasons to Gather Intel on Your Bullies
1. To build a better strategy to defuse the bullying.
2. The information will serve as a buffer to your confidence and self-esteem.
3. To minimize the damage bullying causes your mental health
4. The information may help you to alleviate any anger or resentment you may feel toward your bullies.
5. To replace any feelings of hatred you may have for your bullies with those of pity.
6. The intel will help relieve feelings of powerlessness and help you feel some sense of vindication or justice.
7. To boost your confidence when you realize your bullies aren’t as bulletproof as they make themselves out to be.
Therefore, knowing all these things will minimize the damage to your overall mental health and wellbeing.
Let’s explain further by using a few examples.
Example 1:
A classmate or coworker is bullying you and you know that her best friend has recently kicked her to the curb. Maybe you have knowledge that your bully is going through a horrible break-up or divorce.
Moreover, it could be that she is being abused at home. or someone else is bullying her.
Therefore, with this information, you can be sure that there’s a strong possibility that she is only trying to tear you down to keep from feeling powerless.
In other words, when you know these things, your bully will least likely fool you into believing that there is something wrong with you.
You will then know without a doubt that her mistreatment comes from a place of her own insecurity and battered self-esteem.
Also, you’ll know that belittling you is only your bully’s desperate attempt to feel some sense of power.
Therefore, you’ll realize that you’re still a great person and your self-esteem will most likely remain unscathed. Also, it would undo any anger, hatred, or resentment you might otherwise feel towards her.
Instead, you will more than likely feel pity for her or even feel vindicated in some way. Any future bullying she might subject you to won’t bother you as much.
This will make it much easier for you to blow her off. Why? Because you’ll see her as being just another blowhard and not as perfect or strong as she has vigorously tried to make herself out to be.
And this will be a real self-esteem booster!
Know your enemy: example 2.
If your bully has NPD or has manipulative tendencies, you’d know that her ego is puffed up. Moreover, you would also figure that she’s a spoiled, coddled brat.
Maybe you find that she was mistreated in the past that she thinks she’s owed special treatment. Either way, you would realize that it’s probably best to avoid her like the plague and go no-contact.
Example 3:
You have a group of people who are bullying you because they are jealous and wish they had something you possess. This something could be talents, gifts, relationships, material things, anything, really.
Then, you know that you should feel great about yourself. Why? Because it only shows that these bullies admire you and covet the blessings you have.
This may sound strange or delusional. However, think about it.
Why else would these people seemingly go out of their way to belittle and crush your confidence?
Therefore, it helps to know what the bullies may be going through in their own lives. In other words, it pays to have a little intel about their lives outside of the bully environment (school, work, etc.).
Know your enemy: How do you gather information about your bullies?
1. Befriend and Align with the enemies of your bullies.
You’ve heard the quote, “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” Believe it or not, there’s much wisdom and truth to this age-old saying.
Therefore, there’s nothing wrong with aligning yourself with not only your bullies’ enemies, but also, other victims they bullied before you.
Moreover, it’s not a sin to get counterintelligence from reliable sources if it’ll protect you from being crushed under the proverbial boot of your bullies.
Slowly get close to and befriend your bullies’ friends and rivals. Nonchalantly get their enemies and other victims to talk!
Doing this will be a piece of cake because an enemy will be too happy to give up the details! Therefore, you’ll be armed to the teeth with info that will take the wind out of the bullies’ sales and the blunt force out of their attacks.
2. Keep Your eyes and ears Open.
Especially if you live in a small community!
Though your bullies may have trashed your reputation, take it from one who’s been there. Bullies get talked about too, only people never talk openly about them.
Because the talkers fear becoming the bullies’ next targets, the talk is always in secret.
So, you aren’t the only one being victimized. There are others.
However, because the other victims find it hard to admit to being bullied and the bullies don’t admit to ever bullying anyone, you never hear about it.
Therefore, you mistakenly think that you are the only one they pick on.
Again, this is why it’s in your best interest to find out who your bullies’ enemies are and align yourself with them. Or, at least, hang around nearby and do some eavesdropping (without being obvious, of course).
And, boy! Will you find out some really juicy and embarrassing tidbits about your bullies’ lives!Moreover, you won’t have to ask. You’ll only need to sit or stand quietly, observe, and listen!
Know your enemy: Real Life Examples
Bullies may think they’re stars, but scratch the surface, and you’ll discover that they don’t shine so brightly after all.
One of my bullies is now a nurse, and I am good friends with several nurses who’ve had the displeasure of working with her.
In their words, not mine, “she is as incompetent as they come.”. Also, she has a big family secret, and if you’ve lived in the same town that she lives in long enough, you know what that secret is.
I’ll stop here to protect privacy. For years, this woman has bounced from one job to another, either getting fired or quitting when things didn’t go her way. She has also been through five, maybe six marriages.
Another bully dropped out of high school and ended up working as a waitress. She now owns her own restaurant but barely breaks even. Several other old bullies are incarcerated or have been, with one being convicted of murder and another convicted of armed robbery, running guns, and possession of illegal substances.
Therefore, bullies may get away with their behavior. But keep up up long enough, and they usually get caught and punished.
Bullies Usually Don’t go far.
Bullies are only ordinary people. Yet, they continue trying like mad to keep up with the Jones’s, making everyone think they have beaten the rat race and failing miserably.
Most bullies don’t leave the town they’re raised in. Yet, they still put on the facade of power and a perfect life. It’s hilarious when you really think about it.
Know your enemy: This is worth repeating.
Again!
1. Befriend your bullies’ enemies. This means striking up friendships with the other victims and outcasts in your school, workplace, or community.
I guarantee you that you aren’t the only one they’ve steamrolled. Bullies leave a lot of shattered lives in their wake and make lots of enemies. And strength always comes in numbers.
2. Listen out!
You will hear many stories about your bullies from the rest of the outcasts and other people who cannot stand them. Moreover, you will be surprised at what you find out.
It may be that your bullies get laughed at too. People are only careful who they do it around and are quieter about it. They must be, or the bullies will target them again.
3. Read expert books about bullies and bullying. The stuff you find out will shock you. However, it will also boost your morale and self-esteem!
Therefore, know that any information you get about your bullies is valuable to you. Always! Because it can then be used as leverage should the bullies come for you.
And please don’t let bullies tear down your confidence and self-esteem. Befriend your bullies’ enemies.
Open your eyes not only to your great value and worth but also to the facades your bullies hide behind and the acts they put on. I guarantee that your self-esteem will skyrocket.
This post is about the number 1 rule to know your enemy and the reasons why you should always gather intel on your bullies. Also, this post is about how to collect that intel.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. 7 Secrets to Instantly Expose Bullies
3. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn
