What Bullies Want You to Believe & What You Should Believe

Understand that bullies thrive on power and control. If they can’t control you, they’ll control how others view you. Also, they’ll use redundancy and repetition to make you believe their lies too. Here’s what they’re most likely to try and get you to think of yourself and what you should believe:

1.What bullies want you to believe

Apart from us, you can do nothing, you are nothing, and you never will be.

What you should believe

Apart from you, I’m better off. I can do anything I set my mind to do, I’m somebody, and later down the line, I’m going to be great and do great things.

2. What bullies want you to believe

You’ll never find happiness without our permission.

What you should believe

I don’t need your permission to be happy. I’m much happier without losers like you in my life.

3. What bullies want you to believe

Nobody will ever like or love you.

What you should believe

Maybe you never will, but I don’t mind because you don’t matter. There will be others who’ll love me for me. I’ll find my tribe.

4. What bullies want you to believe

You’re nothing without our approval.

What you should believe

I’m nothing with it because you are nothing. I don’t need your “approval” because it will never define me. Your opinion matters not because, for something to matter, you must first value it.

Therefore, always counter the statements, including the unspoken ones. You’ll be surprised at what it will do for your self-esteem and your spirit!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

10 Bad Things That Will Happen If You Don’t Learn to Love Yourself

If you don’t love yourself, who will? And how can you love anyone else if you don’t first love yourself?

These are valid questions.

When a person doesn’t love themselves, we can tell. We can see it in his demeanor, his face, and his posture. We can hear it in their tone of voice and the way they talk. Why do you think these people attract users and abusers to them? Why do you think they end up with people who mistreat and control them?

Here’s what happens when you don’t love yourself:

1. You’ll never be able to love anyone else properly. You will be codependent- always searching to get love from another source- a source outside yourself, instead of letting love come from within. When you finally find someone who does love you, you won’t love them the way they need to be loved. Instead, you’ll only smother your partner to death because you’ll always have to be right there under the person’s nose.

Also, you’ll be suspicious of others, wondering if your partner’s going to leave you, wondering if they’re cheating, etc., you’ll wonder if your friends like you or if they’re only pretending to. In essence, you’ll end up making a new partner or friend pay for something someone else did in the past, and it’s not fair. Being in constant worry and suspicion is no way to live!

2. You’ll rely too much on others to make you feel loved and wanted and you fear being alone. You will always believe that to be happy, you must always be one half of a couple. But understand that if you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy in a relationship either.

3. You’ll move too quickly into a relationship. Once you are in a relationship, you’ll love your partner more than they deserve, and before they’d had time to earn that love.  Also, you’re likely to scare the other person away. Realize that love needs time to grow.

4. You’ll give away your power. When you give away your power, you automatically put yourself at the mercy of someone else. And believe me, they take full advantage. You’ll put your own needs on the back burner and always put your partner before yourself, doing all the giving in the relationship in exchange for your partner’s love. You’ll even do things you really don’t want to do just to satisfy the other person.

You’ll stop making your own decisions and allow someone else to choose for you. You’ll also agree to every single thing he or she says. When you do this, you leave nothing for yourself. After a while, the feeling of unfairness will slowly build. Soon, you will become resentful after so long of not getting anything in return. Never give another person that kind of power! You must have your own mind and be your own person.

5. You may become a little too controlling of others. You can never control how another person acts nor how they feel about you. What happens when your partner gets tired of you and decides he/she no longer wants to be with you? It will devastate you. It’s only natural that the end of any friendship or relationship is painful. But it should never be crushing. It should never feel like the end of the world.

6. You’ll be on an endless search for love and friendship. You’ll spend your whole life searching for love. That in itself is not only off-putting to others, but it’s also exhausting to you. You’ll waste your time, hopping from relationship to relationship.

When one partner gets bored with you and leaves for someone who challenges them, you’ll be on yet another search for someone else to take their place. And this cycle will only continue to repeat itself. Then before long, you’ll have a string of broken relationships behind you. Not good!

7. You’ll settle for just anyone. And you’ll get even less than what you settled for. No one should settle. Ever! If the person isn’t the person you want or is less than what you thought they were, you’ll be much happier if you move on to something you really want. Always be selective of the friends and partners you choose and of the company you keep.

8. You’ll attract takers instead of givers. Predatory people have a keen eye for those who are desperate to be loved and accepted. And they’ll smell you from a mile away. These people will be more than happy to befriend or date you just to get what they want from you.

Once they’ve used you long enough and bleed you dry of resources and dignity, they’ll only drop you and move on to the next poor sucker. When you stop being afraid of aloneness, you begin to repel predators and attract better people.

9. You’ll repel the people who would otherwise love and accept you. If, by chance, you happen to find someone who truly loves you, you won’t be able to relax and enjoy it. You’ll be so scared of losing the person that you’ll be too clingy and likely run them off because of your constant neediness.

Understand that when you do this, you automatically make them responsible for your happiness, and it’s not fair. Being held accountable for another person’s happiness is a heavy load for anyone to carry! You’ll only zap the other person’s energy as you expect them to fill a void that can’t be filled by anyone but you and God. Realize that only you are responsible for your happiness—no one else.

10. You’ll stay in a toxic relationship and put up with shabby treatment and abuse just to keep from being alone. You’ll likely end up with an abuser who’ll physically or mentally abuse you. Love and friendship shouldn’t be painful. You may also end up with someone too lazy to work and who expects you to keep their worthless ass up.

No one has to work that hard to keep any relationship, and if you do, it’s a sign that you need to show somebody the door- and fast. The last thing you want is to be tied down to some broke chump who treats you like crap or won’t get off their dead butt and work to help pay the bills. I’ve seen this happen to so many people I’ve known in the past.

Being alone is a part of loving yourself. It’s not the worst thing that can ever happen to you. It’s very healthy sometimes because you get to know yourself during times of solitude. But when you’re afraid of being by yourself, you’re likely to give others control of your life and put yourself at their mercy! STOP THAT! Never cheat yourself by settling for anything less than what you deserve! And never put your happiness in someone else’s hands! Ever!

With knowledge comes power!

20 Things You Must Always Remember If You’re a Target of Bullying

1.None of the bullying you suffer is your fault.

2. There is nothing wrong with you.

3. You don’t have the issue. Your bullies do.

4. It’s not about you. It’s about them.

5. You are enough.

6. You matter.

7. You have value.

8. You are worthy of love and friendship.

9. You are beautiful.

10. You are awesome.

11. You are stronger and braver than your bullies ever will be.

12. The things your bullies ridicule now will be the things people will love you for later.

13. You can do a lot more than you think you can.

14. Much bullying comes from either jealousy, fear, or insecurity.

15. You’re much smarter than they give you credit for.

16. You are here for a great purpose.

17. You still have people who love you and who believe in you.

18. The best are always treated the worst.

19. You are more powerful than you realize.

20. It may not seem like it at present, but life will eventually get better.

This is Why You Absolutely Must Love Yourself

If you don’t love yourself, who will? And how can you love anyone else if you don’t first love yourself?

These are valid questions.

When a person doesn’t love themselves, we can tell. We can see it in his demeanor, his face, and his posture. We can hear it in their tone of voice and the way they talk. Why do you think these people attract users and abusers to them? Why do you think they end up with people who mistreat and control them?

Here’s what happens when you don’t love yourself:

1.You’re never able to love anyone else properly. You will be codependent- always searching to get love from another source- a source outside yourself, instead of letting love come from within. When you finally find someone who does love you, you won’t love them the way they need to be loved. Instead, you’ll only smother your partner to death because you’ll always have to be right there under the person’s nose.

Also, you’ll be suspicious of others, wondering if your partner’s going to leave you, wondering if they’re cheating, etc., you’ll wonder if your friends like you or if they’re only pretending to. In essence, you’ll end up making a new partner or friend pay for something someone else did in the past, and it’s not fair. Being in constant worry and suspicion is no way to live!

2. You rely too much on others to make you feel loved and wanted and you fear being alone. You will always believe that to be happy, you must always be one half of a couple. But understand that if you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy in a relationship either.

3. You move too quickly into a relationship. Once you are in a relationship, you’ll love your partner more than they deserve, and before they’d had time to earn that love Also, you’re likely to scare the other person away. Realize that love needs time to grow.

4. You give away your power. When you give away your power, you automatically put yourself at the mercy of someone else. And believe me, they take full advantage. You’ll put your own needs on the back burner and always put your partner before yourself, doing all the giving in the relationship in exchange for your partner’s love. You’ll even do things you really don’t want to do just to satisfy the other person.

You’ll stop making your own decisions and allow someone else to choose for you. You’ll also agree to every single thing he or she says. When you do this, you leave nothing for yourself. After a while, the feeling of unfairness will slowly build. Soon, you will become resentful after so long of not getting anything in return. Never give another person that kind of power! You must have your own mind and be your own person.

5. Because you can never control how another person acts nor how they feel about you. What happens when your partner gets tired of you and decides he/she no longer wants to be with you? It will devastate you. It’s only natural that the end of any friendship or relationship is painful. But it should never be crushing. It should never feel like the end of the world.

6. You’ll be on an endless search for love and friendship. You’ll spend your whole life searching for love. That in itself is not only off-putting to others, but it’s also exhausting to you. You’ll waste your time, hopping from relationship to relationship.

When one partner gets bored with you and leaves for someone who challenges them, you’ll be on yet another search for someone else to take their place. And this cycle will only continue to repeat itself. Then before long, you’ll have a string of broken relationships behind you. Not good!

7. You’ll settle for just anyone. And you’ll get even less than what you settled for. No one should settle. Ever! If the person isn’t the person you want or is less than what you thought they were, you’ll be much happier if you move on to something you really want. Always be selective of the friends and partners you choose and of the company you keep.

8. You attract takers instead of givers. Predatory people have a keen eye for those who are desperate to be loved and accepted. And they’ll smell you from a mile away. These people will be more than happy to befriend or date you just to get what they want from you.

Once they’ve used you long enough and bleed you dry of resources and dignity, they’ll only drop you and move on to the next poor sucker. When you stop being afraid of aloneness, you begin to repel predators and attract better people.

9. You’ll repel the people who would otherwise love and accept you. If, by chance, you happen to find someone who truly loves you, you won’t be able to relax and enjoy it. You’ll be so scared of losing the person that you’ll be too clingy and likely run them off because of your constant neediness.

Understand that when you do this, you automatically make them responsible for your happiness, and it’s not fair. Being held accountable for another person’s happiness is a heavy load for anyone to carry! You’ll only zap the other person’s energy as you expect them to fill a void that can’t be filled by anyone but you and God. Realize that only you are responsible for your happiness—no one else.

10. You stay in a toxic relationship and put up with shabby treatment and abuse just to keep from being alone. You’ll likely end up with an abuser who’ll physically or mentally abuse you. Love and friendship shouldn’t be painful. You may also end up with someone too lazy to work and who expects you to keep their worthless ass up.

No one has to work that hard to keep any relationship, and if you do, it’s a sign that you need to show somebody the door- and fast. The last thing you want is to be tied down to some broke chump who treats you like crap or won’t get off their dead butt and work to help pay the bills. I’ve seen this happen to so many people I’ve known in the past.

Being alone is a part of loving yourself. It’s not the worst thing that can ever happen to you. It’s very healthy sometimes because you get to know yourself during times of solitude. But when you’re afraid of being by yourself, you’re likely to give others control of your life and put yourself at their mercy! STOP THAT! Never cheat yourself by settling for anything less than what you deserve! And never put your happiness in someone else’s hands! Ever!