Bullying and Power: 2 Categories of Power

March 11, 2025March 11, 20253 Comments

‘Want to know about bullying and power so that you can preserve your autonomy? Here are the two categories of power you need to be aware of so that you can prevent others from dis-empowering you.

It’s no secret that, for bullying to happen, there has to be a power imbalance because bullies don’t bully unless they know they’re more powerful.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about bullying and power and the kinds of power bullies use to dominate and control you. Also, you’ll learn about the two main categories of power as well as the power bullies use. You will learn what each tactic entails so that you can keep yourself safe.

Once you learn all about these important facts, you will be better able to protect yourself from bullies who wish to strip you of your power. Moreover, you will be further compelled to defend and protect yourself against them.

This post is all about bullying and power to give you more knowledge of how bullies attempt to take your power away and lord it over. It’s also about the two main categories of power and what comes with it so that you can guard your personal power and protect it.

Bullying and Power

Everyone wants to have power. You, me, everyone. It’s human nature to seek power. Because to be completely powerless is hell on earth. That’s why I say, everyone wants power, if only a little of it.

When a person is totally powerless, they live their life on autopilot. In essence, they are as a leaf being blown around in the wind.

They’re a sailboat without a sail- being blown on whatever course life dictates for them. And it’s a terrible way to live because, without power, you don’t live. You only exist!

Really stop and think about it for a moment. To have power over nothing! Can you imagine it? It’s hard to, isn’t it? It would be the worst thing that could ever happen to you!

Therefore, typical people do not have to hurt others to achieve power. They feel powerful through their accomplishments and achievements. They get power from being able to control their own lives, not someone else’s.

In other words, people who aren’t bullies get their sense of power through having success in their jobs, family life, talents, finances, and physical health. Therefore, it’s why people start their own businesses or do strenuous workouts every day.

It’s also why they display their talents and gifts. Furthermore, it’s the reason they take pride in their families.

For instance, a mother gets her sense of power from her ability to create a good home for her babies. A comedian gets his sense of power from doing stand-up comedy and his ability to make people laugh.

Bullying and Power:

Getting this kind of power doesn’t require steamrolling other people

A singer gets her sense of power from her ability to entertain people with her beautiful voice, through song. An athlete gets his sense of power through competing in and winning at a sport. And a student gets her sense of power through making exceptional grades, getting diplomas/degrees, and winning titles, such as Honor Roll or Summa Cum Laude.

Moreover, one thing they all have in common is that they do it without stepping on others. Therefore, understand that getting power this way doesn’t require hurting others and there are no winners and losers.

There’s equality, cooperation, and mutual respect. This kind of power is known as personal power.

In her book, “The Abusive Relationship,” Patricia Evans puts power in two categories- personal power and power over.

1. Personal power

This is power over your life’s trajectory. It’s the power to direct your own path and to choose your own wants.

Moreover, it’s having the freedom to make choices and decisions for yourself, and to do your own thing. There’s no need to harm another person because you are already the director of your own life-movie.

Having personal power puts you in the driver’s seat of your life and you are the one who chooses your destination and which route you want to take to get there.

Here’s what personal power includes.

a. Bullying and Power:

autonomy

Autonomy is the freedom to make your own decisions and to do what you know is best for you. Also, it’s the power to decide your likes and dislikes and what you will and will not put up with.

B. Freedom

You are the captain of your own ship. The winds may change and blow you off course, but with personal power, you have a rudder to steer your ship back on course.

You may have to take detours, and yes, you may have to take the long way to your destination. However, you know where you’re going, and you eventually get to where you want to go.

c. Peace of mind

You’re at peace with yourself and you trust yourself to make the right choices for yourself.

D. Confidence

You’re confident in yourself and in the decisions you make. Moreover, you aren’t afraid to take risks and to make hard decisions to get to where you want to go.

Sadly, bullies cannot achieve personal power. Why? Because bullies are incompetent fools who have no intelligence (social or otherwise).

Bullying and Power:

Bullies cannot achieve personal power

They also have no sense of responsibility, no talent- no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Therefore, the only way bullies can achieve satisfaction, happiness, success, or self-actualization (power) is to inflict harm on others.

The only way they can achieve power in their jobs, families, finances, etc. is by steamrolling people. Bullies are so inept they can’t even survive in this world without hurting others. This kind of power is called power over.

2. Power over

This type of power involves lording it over another person through force, coercion, and trickery. Power over violates boundaries. It shows no respect nor regard.

Moreover, it seeks to oppress and block you from all the good things in life- love, peace, success, happiness- freedom. In power over there is a winner (the bully) and a loser (you).

Power over is a zero-sum game. Always! Also, power over is against personal power and it only takes it away. Here’s all that it involves.

a. Coercion through threats and intimidation

For instance, physical bullies will force you to do things you don’t want to do by threatening bodily harm. In other words, they warn you that if you don’t do what they want you to do, they will “punch you in the face” or “beat the living hell out of you.”

These types of bullies will also try to frighten you through dirty looks and threatening gestures. Put another way, they’ll give you the death glare or pound their fist into the palm of their opposite hand while glaring at you.

Moreover, they may damage your property and steal your belongings.

Other types of threats and intimidation tactics include threatening to get you into trouble with friends, family, friends, school staff, or workplace management.

B. Bullying and power:

Humiliation

Bullies use humiliation by calling you names and ridiculing you in public. They can also take your personal belongings, such as sanitary napkins, birth control pills, or condoms and flash them around in public, then telling everyone they belong to you.

Bullies do this to shame and embarrass you. Moreover, they do it to make you look foolish in front of others. Humiliation, or the threat of it, is a powerful tool to control and dominate others and bullies know it.

c. Emotional bullying

Emotional bullying happens when bullies put you down to make you feel bad about yourself. This is a form of coercive control because the bully is trying to control your state of mind and the way you feel.

In other words, they manipulate your emotions.

Emotional bullying involves name-calling and giving you degrading nicknames. Moreover, it involves staring at you, giggling and laughing at you.

Even worse, it can involve triggering you by bringing up a past traumatic event that may have happened to you.

This could be an embarrassing mistake you made in the past or a past bullying incident you suffered. It could also be something as terrible as the death of a spouse or parent or a physical attack that nearly took your life.

Bullies will use these tactics when you refuse them. They’ll use emotional bullying as a way to wear you down and get you to cave into their demands.

Therefore, many victims of bullying give up, give in, and do what bullies want, if only to appease them. And, they do it hoping the bullies will leave them alone.

d. Bullying and Power:

Social Isolation

This involves using smear campaigns, rumors, and vicious gossip to tarnish your reputation. Also, it involves the silent treatment and punishing your friends and others who continue associating with you.

Bullies do these things to turn other people against you and thus, socially isolate you. Moreover, bullying your friends is a way to force your pals to eventually decide the cost of talking to you is too high.

E. Financial and Economic Abuse

This includes ruining your chances of employment by blackballing you. Also, bullies can make calls to different companies and tell lies about you. Or, they can use a past mistake you made to lessen the chances of them hiring you.

Bullies may even show up at your workplace and cause a big scene to get you terminated. Moreover, they may steal your money, hack into your back account, or steal your identity.

F. Legal abuse (Law-fare)

Bullies may file frivolous lawsuits or false charges against you to clean you out or get you arrested and thrown in jail. Understand that they do this to make your life a living nightmare and weigh you down in legal bills.

You must realize that these types of bullies don’t care so much about winning or losing the case. The process alone is the punishment. In other words, what they really want is to keep you fighting legal battles to drain your financial resources.

g. Bullying and Power:

Use social status or capital

High-status bullies will use their social status to lord it over you. They may treat you like a maidservant or errand-boy. Moreover, they may act as gatekeeper to church, school, workplace, or community social activities and functions.

h. Cyber-bullying, online harassment, and cyber-stalking

These bullies may flame you. You may ask, “What is flaming?” because there are still many who haven’t heard of it.

Flaming is sending incendiary, defamatory, harassing or threatening emails, IMs, text messages, or private messages on social media.

Moreover, they may also do this on message boards, forums, and chat rooms.

Bullies may also create duplicate social media accounts and claim to be you. They may then post porn, intimate information, or mean insulting things to your friends and followers to get them to delete and block you.

Worst case scenario, they may even hack your SM accounts and take them over to lock you out and post horrible things on your pages.

If you’re a target of bullying, it’s so important that you begin taking steps to take back your personal power. Only then will you be free.

You will finally begin living instead of existing. Moreover, just knowing all the tactics bullies use will make all the difference!

This post is all about bullying and power. It’s also about 2 main types of power and components of each so that you can distinguish between the two and protect your personal power from those who wish to take it from you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Smear Campaigns: 4 Tactics Bullies Use to Sully Your Reputation

2. Non Verbal Bullying: Hostile Body Language Head to Toe

3. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

4. What is a Crybully and How Do You Spot One?

5. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond

Hostile Body Language: 17 Signs Bullies Want to Get Physical

March 5, 2025February 22, 20256 Comments

‘Want to know how to recognize hostile body language when you see it? Here are all the warning signs that your bullies either want to or are about to physically attack you.

Most seasoned bullies seek to intimidate others by nonverbal means. Why? Because nonverbal bullying is subtle and least likely to be detected. This type of bullying can occur either at school, in the workplace, or even in the community.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the subtlest of hostile body language so that you can be prepared when a bully gets ready to attack you.

Once you learn all about this life-saving information, you will be better prepared to defend yourself against any physical attack.

This post is all about how to recognize hostile body language so that you can fight back against physical bullying and ensure your safety.

Hostile Body Language

Before we get into the body language cues, let’s first talk about proxemics and zone distances. So, what is proxemics?

Proxemics is knowledge and study of personal space. In other words, it deals with the amount of space between you and other people. This amount of space between people is known as zone distance.

We practice different zone distances based on the relationship we have with the people in the room around us.

There are 4 different types of zone distances.

1. Intimate Zone

(6-18 inches) This distance between people is reserved for lovers, family, close friends, and pets. However, unwelcome bullies will move into your intimate zone when they’re feeling hostile toward you and are about to attack.

Anytime someone we don’t know, don’t trust or don’t like moves into this area, they are too close. Therefore, our minds and bodies automatically go into fight, flight or freeze mode.

Many bullies may also invade your intimate area only to toy with you and get you to react. Then, they’ll only step back and laugh at your reaction.

But do not ignore it! No matter how they do it, your bullies are still invading your space and you absolutely must set boundaries.

Call the bully out. Moreover, let them know that they are in your personal space and that what they’re doing isn’t acceptable.

If they still violate your space after you’ve told them not to, it’s time to fight. So, knock the living hell out of them and beat them so bad that they’ll think twice before doing it again.

2. Hostile body language:

Personal Zone

(18-48 inches) We stand this far apart at parties and social gatherings. If bullies stand in the personal zone, they are still too close. Don’t be afraid to tell them in no uncertain terms to back the hell up!

3. Social Zone

(4-12 feet) These distances, we stand from strangers, clerks, and delivery people. Bullies will easily be able to get away with standing at these distances from you.

Therefore, you might not want to respond if you don’t want to look unstable. However, do keep a close eye on your bully just in case they try to move closer!

4. Public Zone

(Over 12 feet) We stand at these distances when speaking publicly in front of an audience. Bullies can freely stand at these distances from you and not look conspicuous or threatening.

(Zone distances- “The Definitive Book of Body Language,” Allan and Barbara Pease – pp. 194-195; 2004)

Hostile Body Language:

Nonverbal Signals that a Bully is About to Attack You

If a bully is about to commit physical violence against you, you’ll know it by paying attention to their body language. Here is what bullies do when they are about to get physical.

1. They’ll get in your face.

Bullies are notorious for violating others’ personal space. They make it a point to get too close. Therefore, they’ll get in your face.

I want you to understand that bullies do this deliberately to intimidate and challenge you. Also, bullies may do this to dare you to hit them first.

Therefore, haul off and deck this person with every ounce of strength you have! This may sound old school or even barbaric to some people.

However, understand that there is no “nice” way to handle it when someone gets in your face. Bullies don’t respond to politeness or diplomacy. They only respond to strength and power.

Therefore, don’t be afraid to knock the hell out of anyone who gets in your face. Because you can best believe that if a bully gets in your face, their next move will be to put hands on you.

2. Hostile Body Language:

They’ll Stand too close behind you.

Bullies will walk up behind you and stand way too close. Moreover, they’ll stand so close that the front of their bodies are actually touching your back. There’s a name for this type of move. It’s called looming.

Understand that bullies purposefully crowd you to either intimidate you, challenge you or provoke you into a reaction. These violations are too blatant!

Therefore, see this for what it is, a violation of your personal space. Bullies are notorious for getting too close.

These types of bullies have unlimited audacity. They do not respect boundaries! With people who are bold and audacious, you must take a stand!

Never allow this type of behavior to go on. Why? Because they will only increase the behavior if you let them get away with it.

Again, understand that when the bully gets in your face or looms you from behind, he is trying to intimidate you or challenging you, looking to fight. So, do what you have to do to teach this idiot a lesson!

3. they’ll stand over you while you’re sitting down.

If you’re sitting, the bully or bullies will often stand over you to look bigger. They do this also to intimidate, challenge, or provoke you.

This is also a violation of your personal space. Moreover, it is a precursor to a physical attack. Therefore, you must beat them to it. Be quick about jumping up and knocking the holy hell out of them.

The only way to handle this type of bullying is to make them never want to try it again!

4. Hostile Body Language:

They may grab you like an object.

For example, a bully may give you a hard slap on the back. Moreover, they may grab you by the arm and lead you where they want them to go.

A bully may also physically move you to the side or shove past you. Understand that the bully intends to show you who’s in charge. Or they might want to compete with you.

The bully may also do these things to signal ownership of you. Yes, in the bully’s mind, he owns you. Therefore, the message is, “You’re mine, I own you, and I can do what I want with you.”

Again, if a bully just reaches out and grabs you, it’s time to haul off and knock somebody’s teeth down their throat! Remember that we teach others how to treat us by what we put up with.

Therefore, teach this bully that there are consequences for anyone who puts their hands on you! Give them the business end of your fist!

5. They’ll size you up.

Bullies also show hostility by sizing you up. They do this by directly facing you, clinching their fists and puffing out their chests.

Male bullies will snarl at their victims, whereas female bullies will glare at their targets with dirty looks. Clenching a jaw where the jaw is protruding outward is another sign of hostile intentions.

Bullies often glare at their targets persistently and intensely without blinking. Their faces turn red, and they will often stretch.

Therefore, these are sure signs that a bully wants to physically attack you and they will do it soon. Again. Do not ignore this!

6. Hostile Body Language:

They’ll give you the death glare.

Bullies will give you a murderous glare. Moreover, they’ll maintain that glare. This will be an unblinking and unwavering eye contact as they bore their eyes into you like a dagger. Also, they will do this without moving their heads.

That stare will make the hairs stand on the back of your neck. That creepy, bone-chilling look will make you stop whatever you are doing or clam up if you’re talking.

Moreover, they will look at you so intensely, making you feel as if you’re under a microscope. The person doing the staring will be eerily calm.

This is not to say that all staring is necessarily bad. For instance, if a person likes you and has feelings for you, they may also stare. Moreover, their pupils will dilate and crinkles will form around the eyes every time they look at you.

However, the look bullies give you is much different. Their pupils only constrict, becoming tiny black holes in the irises of their eyes.

Moreover, the stare is a cold, prolonged “I’m going to kill you” look which stops you cold. This is the best way I can describe it.

However, the trick is to not let this glare intimidate you. You must realize that bullies pull this number to either challenge or intimidate you.

Therefore, return the stare and the bully will likely go away.

7. They will flare their nostrils at you.

You’ve seen the nostrils of a bull flair when the animal is about to charge a matador. It’s the same with bullies.

The nostrils flair to take in extra oxygen needed for a possible physical attack. When a bully does this, he’s hostile. Therefore, when a person’s nostrils flair at you, look out!

Why? Because it is a sign the bully is about to physically attack you. Keep your eyes peeled and be prepared to throw up your dukes and defend yourself.

8. Hostile Body Language:

The bully’s toes will point toward you.

This is known as the toe-point. Again, you must pay attention to the whole body to get an accurate reading.

The toes always point to where the person wants to go. If a person likes you and enjoys your company, their toes will always point in your direction.

If the person doesn’t like you or is afraid of you, they will want to get away from you. Therefore, their toes will always point away from you.

However, if a bully wants to attack you, their toes will also point in your direction. You’ll know the difference by the other cues their body will give you. It pays to observe and be prepared.

9. They will invade your privacy.

Bullies will very carefully observe you. Also, they’ll eavesdrop on your conversations and listen for intimate details. Why?

So they can take the private info and spread it to make you look bad. They may also read your diary to find out your deepest, darkest secrets.

Again, they want to use the info to damage your reputation. Moreover, bullies may even follow you to see where you go and who you associate with.

If you are a victim of bullying, understand that bullies do this on purpose. They invade your privacy to intimidate or dominate you.

Therefore, you must protect not only your physical and mental health from bullies but also your personal space and territory.

Never be afraid to call the bully out if they violate either one!

9. Hostile Body Language:

Bullies will deliberately knock stuff out of your arms or off your desk as they walk by.

This is a clear provocation to fight. Why? Because they’re daring you to do something about it. Therefore, do what you must do to impose consequences. Call them out on their bad behavior even if you must raise your voice and say, “Cut it out!” or “You stop that right now!”

10. They will pinch their chin.

Bullies may look at you while pinching their chin. They pinch their chin to release the hostile thoughts without acting on them.

In other words, it is a way to hold back the urge to physically attack you.

Therefore, understand that when a bully looks at you and pinches any part of the face, this signals the bully’s secret wish to harm you.

11. Bullies will clinch their jaw.

When they look at you and clinch the jaws, the bully is gritting their teeth and hiding it. Therefore, when this happens, you’ll notice the jaws protruding outward.

The bully either pulls this move to intimidate or in preparation for a fight. Again, this is a sign of a possible physical attack. Don’t ignore. Stay vigilant.

12. Hostile Body Language:

They’ll look at you and pound their fist into something.

Another sign of hostility as when a bully looks at you, then pounds a fist into a tabletop, wall or the palm of his/her opposite hand.

You must realize that any object the bully pounds is only a substitute for your physical body.

Moreover, girls and women will often bite their lip, suck on the inside of their jaw or chew the inside of the mouth while looking at you.

Again, be prepared.

13. Bullies will clinch their fists.

Clinching their fists is another sign that they want to physically attack you. Therefore, always be ready just in case they do.

14. They will do what is known as Mock Fighting.

When a bully mock fights, they will look at you while, throwing punches in the air. The bully will also dance around like a boxer as he does this.

You must realize that he is doing these things to show you what he wants to do to you. I can’t stress this enough. Be on the lookout.

15. Hostile Body Language:

Snarling and Baring teeth.

This is a no-brainer. It’s a clear sign of a coming physical attack. Also, bullies do this to intimidate you. Therefore, don’t let it scare you.

Instead, just stand there and glare at them when they do this. And don’t look away. Keep glaring until the bully breaks eye contact.

Never be the one to break eye contact first. Stare the bully down and maintain that stare until the bully gives up.

The point is to show the bully that they don’t scare you. Also, it pays to be prepared and alert.

The bully may also look at you while frowning and pursing their lips. Therefore, mirror the same expression back to them. Again, don’t be the first to look away. Maintain eye contact until they give up.

16. The bully will step back with their dominant foot.

This is when the bully faces you and steps back with their dominant leg. Boxers in the ring do this just before putting up their dukes!

Therefore, knock the hell out of them before they do it to you. Because stepping back on the dominate leg always, ALWAYS, signals coming physical violence. So, deliver an earth-shattering punch to destabilize the bully.

Then keep punching them until they’re on the floor.

17. Hostile Body Language:

They will accidentally (on purpose) run into you or trip you.

You’ll automatically know when this is no accident. Therefore, deck the bully in the nose and there won’t be a next time.

This post was all about hostile body language so that you will know it when you see it and either prepare yourself or address it accordingly.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Non Verbal Bullying: Hostile Body Language Head to Toe

2. Examples of Non Verbal Bullying

3. The 4 Stages of Bullying

4. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

5. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

6. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

Examples of Non Verbal Bullying

September 23, 2024September 22, 20248 Comments

‘Want to know the examples of non verbal bullying? Here are the most common examples you need to know about.

Bullies know what they’re doing. They know that if they can intimidate you through nonverbal communication, they can do it quietly, without drawing attention to their behavior. Moreover, they know that their victims are more likely to stay silent because if they report it, others are likely to blow them of as sufferers of paranoia.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about all the examples of non verbal bullying, how to recognize it, and what you can do to counter it.

Once you learn about all these gestures, you will then be able to use your own nonverbals to let your bullies know that you’re not one who’ll be threatened by them. As a result, they will likely leave you alone and go find an easier target.

This post is all about the examples of non verbal bullying, how to recognize them, and what you can do to counter them.

Examples of non verbal bullying

Most seasoned bullies seek to intimidate others by nonverbal means. Why? Because nonverbal bullying is subtle and least likely to be detected.

Moreover, this type of bullying can occur either at school, in the workplace, or anywhere. Here are a few such subtleties.

So, How do Bullies Use Nonverbal communication to bully you?

1. They lean against your desk, office doorway, car, etc.

Understand that when people lean against an object, they are, in a sense, laying claim to that object. Therefore, when bullies learn against your desk, car, or any object that belongs to you, they are non verbally claiming it as theirs.

Also, they do it to intimidate you and dare you to say or do something about it. So, how do you deal with this?

You handle it simply by telling the bully point blank and in a stern voice,
“Get off my desk (car, etc.)”

And you must address this the very first time this occurs.

2. The bully will sit in your chair.

Again, any chair you sit in, you non-verbally lay claim to.

Address it by telling the person in no uncertain terms to unseat your chair. Also, it’s important that you speak out right then, the first time it happens. Otherwise, the bully will think they can do it again.

Therefore, never let someone get away with this even the first time.

3. Examples of Non Verbal Bullying:

The bully may also pick your purse or notebook off your desk, touch your property, etc.

I can’t stress this enough! You must realize that anything of yours the bully touches, he is laying claim to.

The unspoken message that the bully is sending is, “I own your desk, car, notebook, and anything that’s yours.”

Therefore, don’t ignore it, and don’t be quiet about it. Open your mouth and tell the creep to keep his hands off your stuff.

The bully may also walk up to your table in the cafeteria or a restaurant, pluck a morsel of food from your plate and pop it in their mouth without even asking.

Realize that when a bully does this, they are challenging you. Their message is,

“I just took a piece of your lunch. Now, what are you going to do about it?”

Moreover, female bullies will often go through their target’s purses or jacket pockets or flip through their notebooks, yearbooks, or diaries. I’ve also heard of bullies walking into people’s homes without knocking.

During school or business trips, bullies may go through your luggage and steal money, articles of clothing, anything from you while you’re out of the room. Moreover, if you have multiple bullies, it’ll be difficult for you to confront the thief.

Although you may have a pretty good idea who stole your belongings, you’ll never be able to prove who took them!

Here’s another nugget of truth to think about. When bullies claim ownership of your space and property, it means that they believe they own YOU!

4. Examples of Non Verbal Bullying:

They will violate your personal space.

Bullies are notorious for getting too close.

Understand that when the bully gets in your face or looms you from behind, he is doing one or more of four things. He is either trying to intimidate you, dominate you, challenge you, or he is trying to provoke a fight.

Therefore, do what you have to do. Tell this idiot to back the hell up!

Understand that these types of bullies have unlimited audacity, and they do not respect boundaries! With people who are bold and audacious, you must take a stand!

Never ignore them or allow yourself to be intimidated because these kinds of folks will only increase the behavior if you do.

5. They give you threatening glares.

It’s the look bullies give you every time you’re in their line of sight. That stare makes the hairs stand on the back of your neck!

You know the one. It’s that creepy, bone-chilling look bullies give that makes you stop whatever you are doing or clam up when they do it?

Moreover, they look at you so intensely that you feel like you’re under a microscope! What’s even scarier is that the person doing the staring is eerily calm. They’re so still that they don’t move a muscle nor even blink!

Those angry, icy-cold eyes relentlessly bore into you like a hot needle. Those eyes look as if they could jump out at you and attack you at any moment! It reminds you of a wolf standing ever so still and eyeing an antelope, anticipating it’s next meal! Weird, no?

Granted, not all staring is necessarily bad because if a person likes you and has feelings for you, they may also stare, with their pupils dilating and crinkles forming around the eyes every time they look at you.

However, the look bullies give you is much different. Their pupils only constrict, becoming tiny black holes in the irises of their eyes. Their stare is a cold, prolonged “I’m going to kill you” look which stops you cold!

Therefore, if ever you notice anyone looking at you this way, you must return and mirror the glare to intimidate them into taking their eyes off you. And don’t take your eyes off them until they stop looking at you.

Moreover, know that covert/indirect bullies are cowards at heart, and most of the time, all it takes is you returning the stare to make these people go away.

Examples of Non Verbal Bullying

How You Respond to Non Verbal Bullying

If someone wants to harm you, they don’t have to come out and tell you. Just the same, if they want you gone, they needn’t tell you to “get the hell out.”

All they must do is glare at you and hope they can intimidate you into leaving. Moreover, your bullies want to make you think you’re about to get hurt.

In a case like this, the tension is so thick you can cut it with a knife. Worse even, others might feel the animosity between you and personal history may ruin an otherwise good day.

Therefore, if you’re a victim of bullying at a party or get-together and suddenly see your bully locking eyes with you, know that this person is giving you the message that they intend to make your day a really bad one.

You have choices. Either you can turn tail and run, or you can spend the rest of the day avoiding the bully.

how you handle it is your choice.

But wait! Here’s another choice- a better choice! You can smile at the bully, nod your head, then turn your back to them. If you want to be a smart alick, add a wave.

Therefore, you will non-verbally send your own message back to your bully, one that is very clear. You signal that they don’t scare you. You also tell the bully that you have no intentions of running.

Instead, you intend to stay and enjoy yourself with the other people at the shindig. And you will do this whether the bully likes it or not.

Also, you can mirror the bully and reciprocate the body language. In doing this, you let the bully know that you’re willing to stand your ground.

Ouch! This is not the response your bully expected!

In that, you’ve responded to the bully without being aggressive or capitulating to their silent demands that you either cower or leave.

In conclusion:

Let’s summarize.

Bullies use nonverbal means to not only send you a cruel message, but also to make their bullying less obvious to anyone else but you.

Therefore, it’s better not to respond to nonverbal bullying with words. Instead, reflect your own nonverbals back to the bully that signal that you aren’t afraid of her.

Again, nonverbal bullying requires a response that is also nonverbal. And your response should say that you will not cower or run. Instead, you will stick around, ignore the bully, and do your thing.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

2. Bullies in School: 5 Ways They Tell Off on Themselves Without Realizing It

3. 7 Secrets to Instantly Expose Bullies

4. The 4 Stages of Bullying

5. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

Space Invaders: 2 Ways Bullies Invade Your Personal Space

September 17, 20216 Comments

Bullies are notorious for violating others’ personal space. They make it a point to get too close. I want you to understand that bullies do this deliberately to intimidate and challenge targets.

If you are a target of bullying, bullies will get in your face or stand too close behind you, sometimes so close their bodies are touching yours. Bullies purposefully crowd you to either intimidate you, challenge you or provoke you into a reaction. These violations are too blatant!

Different zone distances are practiced based on the relationship we have with the people in the room around us. They are as follows:

Intimate Zone – (6-18 inches) This distance between people is reserved for lovers, family, close friends, and pets. However, unwelcome bullies will move into your intimate zone when they’re feeling hostile toward you and are about to attack.

Girl sitting on the ground and drawing personal space. Selective focus

Anytime someone we don’t know, don’t trust or don’t like moves into this area, they are too close, and our minds and bodies automatically go into fight, flight, or freeze mode. Some bullies may also invade the target’s intimate area only to toy with them and get them to react, then step back and laugh at the reaction. Do not ignore it! Call the bully out and let them know that they are in your personal space and that what they’re doing isn’t acceptable.

Personal Zone – (18-48 inches) We stand this far apart at parties and social gatherings. If bullies stand in the personal zone, they are still too close. Don’t be afraid to tell them in no uncertain terms to back the hell up!

Social Zone – (4-12 feet) These distances, we stand from strangers, clerks, and delivery people. Bullies will easily be able to get away with standing at these distances from their victims, so you might not want to react if you don’t want to look paranoid or unstable. But still, keep a close eye on your bully just in case they try to move closer!

Public Zone – (Over 12 feet) We stand at these distances when speaking publicly in front of an audience. Bullies can freely stand at these distances from their victims and not look conspicuous or threatening.

too close personal space bullied victim

(Zone distances- “The Definitive Book of Body Language,” Allan and Barbara Pease – pp. 194-195; 2004)

1.Sitting in your chair, leaning on your car, etc. – Any chair we sit in or any object we lean on or touch, we nonverbally lay claim to. Just as a dog will mark his territory by peeing on the spot he claims as his, people mark theirs by sitting, leaning, or touching the place or object they claim as theirs.

Other ways bullies invade their victim’s territory are leaning in the doorway of their office, dorm room, or house. Bullies may also prop their feet on the target’s desk or table or even walk into the victim’s home without knocking or being invited inside!

bullies dog peeing on tree marking territory

Male poodle dog pee on tree trunk to mark his territory

However, here are some less-obvious ways of space violations:

2. Invasion of your privacy – Bullies will very carefully observe you. They will eavesdrop on your conversations and listen for intimate details so they can take the private info and spread it as juicy gossip and make you look bad. They may also read your diary to find out your deepest, darkest secrets so they can spread it around and damage your reputation. They will even follow you to see where you go and who you associate with.

If you are a victim of bullying, understand that bullies do this on purpose. They invade your territory to intimidate, challenge, or dominate you.

You must protect not only your physical and mental health from bullies but also your personal space and territory. Never be afraid to call the bully out if they violate either one!

The more you know, the better you can protect yourself against these personal space invaders.